I Don’t Feel Fully American Anymore

Added: 2026-05-12

[00:00:00]I didn't realize this at first, but after living here for 10 years in Brazil, I've realized that I don't really feel like an American anymore.

[00:00:10]And if I'm honest with you, I also don't feel completely resilient. And this is where I find myself in this tension of life. And I don't know if you've ever been in a situation like this where it's not that you've lost your identity or you lost yourself, but you you find yourself in a place of of choosing more so than just I guess reacting or responding to certain things. And it reminded me of a story that I wanted to share with you guys and I looked it up to make sure that I was I was sharing it correctly. But you might have heard of this story before. It's by a man named or it's attributed to a man named uh Tim Timothy Ferris. And it's basically called like the Mexican fisherman is the name of it. And so it goes like this. So this is called the Mexican fisherman.

[00:00:56]I'm going to try to share it again cuz there's a dog barking back there. He's still barking, but I wasn't able to get the story with clarity. So here we go.

[00:01:02]I'm going to share this again. Mexican fisherman. It's by Timothy Ferris. It goes like this. An American businessman is on a vacation in a small fishing village in Mexico and he sees a local fisherman coming in with a great quality of fish, fresh fish. The American asks, "How long did it take you to catch those?" To which the Mexican fisherman responds, "Not very long." The American responds to the fisherman, "Well, why don't you stay out longer then and catch more fish?" The fisherman smiles. He says, "This is enough for me and my family." The American, confused, asks, "So, what do you do with the rest of your day?" The fisherman replies, "Well, I'll sleep in a little, fish a little.

[00:01:38]I'll play with my kids, take a nap with my wife, and in the evenings, I sit with my friends, drink wine, play guitar, and enjoy life." The American laughs. He says, "I have an MBA. I can help you.

[00:01:49]You should spend more time fishing. Then you can buy a bigger boat, then multiple boats. Eventually, you build a company, open a processing plant, move to the city, scale everything." The fisherman interrupts him and asks, "Okay, but after I do all that, then what?" The American says, "Then you sell the company, make millions, and retire." The fisherman smiles and says, "And then what do I do?" To which the American businessman responds, "Then you can sleep in, fish a little, spend time with the family, take naps, and enjoy your evening with friends." This is so interesting because this basically is like this paradox, right, of the way that we see things in life. Here in the story, you have a a fisherman. It's attributed to a to a Mexican fisherman, but let's say it's a Latin uh uh a Latin American fisherman, and he basically is living a good life. He is fishing, enjoying his family, his kids, enjoying uh you know the his time. He's spending his time the way that he wants to spending his time with his wife. And this American who has another perspective of life comes in and says, "Man, you need to you need to scale this thing. You need to you need to blow up.

[00:02:58]You need money. You need structure. You need to build a business." You know, all this stuff. And the Mexican guy fisherman's like, "Why would I do that?"

[00:03:04]like at the end it would just bring me to the point to where I am today. Sure, I'd have more money, but I'd still have time or I'd be I'd finally get my time back. And I think this is something that um our generation hopefully is learning and something that I've learned here in Brazil. And this is why I said that I don't feel so much like an American anymore and I don't feel like a Brazilian is because I'm actually have this opportunity to see things from another perspective. If you've never heard that story before, it's kind of like a a gut punch sometimes because we think that our way or our perspective is the correct one and is the only one until someone brings another angle, another view of that. So this tension that I feel in my life these days is this. And after interacting with many of you on uh YouTube, you know, this YouTube channel in 2 and 1/2 weeks has grown to over 5,000 people and hundreds of thousands of views on a couple different videos in total. And so I've got a chance to interact with people from Europe, from all over the place. And I realized that, you know, what I'm sharing here is is hitting home with a lot of people because it's a common experience for immigrants, whether they're immigrating to Brazil, America, or other parts of the world, and the processes and the things that we go through with that. And so, how do you know that you're starting to change and become more like the place that you're living? I think we always have this loyalty to our roots, to our family, right? you're a psychologist, you know about like family loyalty and all that.

[00:04:40]Um, some of that's good, some of that's not so good. But we're always loyal to the place that we were we were born, the place that we're from, the citizenship that we have until we start to experience other things and start to understand there's different ways of doing stuff. And so for me, I recently realized, you know, I was I've been thinking about making videos and thinking about this, but there's some times where I've noticed that I've changed where I'm not an American. I'm becoming more Brazilian every time. And one of those is actually just yesterday. So yesterday, Sunday, had a pretty long day. Uh pretty uh busy day with some social activities. And I had uh a friend who is my coach for my marathon training and he had a a half marathon yesterday here in Floropoulos where he had maybe 10 or 15 of his athletes from all over the world that were actually here. There was they're all Brazilian all Brazilians and some of them live in Ireland and S. Paulo and other places around the world and they were all here together. And so I invited my wife and said hey like he invited us to come hang out with with everybody and meet the whole crew and stuff and I was like oh cool let's go. And my wife was like, "Oh, I don't know." And I was like, "No, it'll be great. Like, let's interact and let's connect with people."

[00:05:54]And as we were driving to this event, I realized, "Oh my gosh, I'm becoming more Brazilian." I am normally I'm an introvert. Normally, I am like uh I haven't shared a whole lot on this channel in regards to this, but if I was in my my dream life before I came to Brazil, it would be in a cabin alone in Alaska. Well, not alone with my wife, but like in a cabin in Alaska enjoying nature and enjoying just life uh in the woods, right, in creation. And I starting to realize like my goodness, like I am I'm being drawn and and and pulled and attached to people and social things. And I'm becoming Brazilian in a way where I say goodbye 10 times. And I feel weird if I don't greet everybody and give them my handshake and give them a hug when I meet them and give my handshake and a hug when I say goodbye.

[00:06:49]And so one of the things that that creates this tension is when you understand like oh man like I am I'm starting to be changed. I'm starting to transform. I'm starting to become something that if I'm honest I never imagined. I never desired if I could put it that way and never planned. So, you know, coming to Brazil wasn't like on my bucket list. It wasn't it wasn't my, you know, never had a plan to live outside of America. I've traveled quite a bit. Um, I've been to, I think, now 43 countries, so maybe I'll talk about that more in the future. many of my experiences that I've had in life and in in stuff. I've I've lived in eight or nine different states in America. So, I've gotten around to see and experience the world. But to live your life in another nation, 10 years doing that is not not something that was on my bingo cart for sure. And so as this has all unfolded, I've just been, you know, processing publicly with the world over the last couple weeks, but articulating it even inside of myself as far as what's going on um inside of me and and and you know, what's going on in in other immigrants and other people that are, you know, that have left their home nation and live in another country. And I was thinking about this today as well cuz the last time that I went to America was a few months ago with my wife.

[00:08:17]Typically we try to go to America, you know, every every year if possible.

[00:08:23]Sometimes it's not always possible with our schedules, but um we went this last January a couple months ago. And we had a really good time. We were able to spend some great quality time together, me and my wife, and visit my parents.

[00:08:38]And we got to Lake Tahoe and we went around in California and it was a wonderful time. But I realized like some of the things that I used to see as common and see as you know natural and see as normal for me in America were really different. Give you a prime example here. Um in Brazil we eat a big lunch right? So in America dinner is the biggest meal of the day. Well breakfast and dinner. Here in Brazil, breakfast is usually like fruit and and maybe some eggs and not really any bacon, no pancakes, no maple syrup, and that's always been a challenge. But we had a big lunch here in Brazil. And in America, you know, why does there exist burgers and why does there exist Subway?

[00:09:23]And why does there exist fast food?

[00:09:25]Because in America, we made food fast.

[00:09:27]Because on lunch, our lunch break is like 40 to 50 minutes. We go grab lunch, we stuff it down, and we go. Sometimes, you know, you just eat a little snack.

[00:09:34]you don't even eat like a full lunch because you're going to go home, you're going to eat a big dinner, you're going to go to sleep. So, this time when we went to America, I noticed myself like wanting bigger lunches and smaller breakfastes and smaller dinners because now that I've been in Brazil for 10 years and become accustomed to that, even my body is responding to that new uh that new behavior, that new pattern.

[00:09:59]It's even my body is saying, "Hey, you're Brazilian now. Eat a big lunch.

[00:10:03]you know, you're Brazilian now. Have a smaller breakfast, have a smaller dinner, or even sometimes we skip breakfast kind of as a whole here because we eat late at night. And my body is has become accustomed to that as well. So, you have these changes that happen emotionally and then even physically that that create uh a new I won't say identity. I feel like identity is a really strong word for that. So, identity is like the core of who you are. I'm talking about dinner and lunch here. It's not an identity crisis, but it's definitely it's definitely a structural cultural change that happens inside of you based off of um time and place. And so even though I'm not Brazilian, I have become Brazilian in nature because of my This is a beautiful picture. Here, I might have to use this for the the thumbnail cuz this these palm trees behind me and you know this thumbnail is always like do I have like what kind of face do I have? Do I have like a smiley face? Do I have like a shocked face? Like they like look away and I never know what to like do for the for this face, but we'll do it this way.

[00:11:24]Anyway, hopefully one of those works.

[00:11:26]I'm always trying to keep my thumbnail good here. So, so yeah, about the the challenge of this lunch and dinner and and thing, it's it's a deeper issue than that. That was a cool bird. It's a deeper issue than that. It's not It's literally like what was normal, natural, and what I was accustomed to. I'm not going to go back to that dog. Oh, here's a cute little dog.

[00:11:51]If you guys can see this one little cute little guy. Hey buddy.

[00:12:00]So anyway, I lost my train of thought. But it's not an it's not an identity issue, right guys? It's it's just like, you know, my preferences now have been influenced by a culture that at first I didn't understand. At first I didn't understand, then I didn't like it, and now I it's become my preference. And I think that's the challenge is where you lose some things is because the culture that you didn't understand and don't like it becomes something that that you have to embrace out of necessity and then it becomes your preference and you begin choosing that preference without even realizing that. And that lets you know that you begin to transform and begin to change because even when you go back home to your home nation, you're still choosing the preferences of the new nation. And that makes it really challenging for life because you're in this like one foot in one foot out kind of thing. And it's hard to it's hard to uh adapt when you go back home. In fact, I mentioned this before in some other videos, like when I go home to America, that's not even really home anymore.

[00:13:16]Like everything's changed. You know, I don't know if you've gone back to like your hometown after you left, you know, the town that you went to school in or whatever and you go home and the same store is not there anymore and everything's just like completely different. That's where I find myself in America all the time. Now, I want to give you guys some reference here and you'll understand more of what I'm saying by that. So, I arrived in Brazil.

[00:13:37]I believe it was like the 10th of November, 2016. I think it was the date.

[00:13:42]It was the date. And the reason why I remember this is cuz it was the date that President Trump was elected the first time. Now, I don't get into politics here on this channel just because it is everyone has an opinion.

[00:13:53]Everyone has a thing and um there's good and bad side bad things on both sides of the the aisle. And so, my channel's not about that. So, I don't normally talk to talk talk about that kind of thing, but um I just remember that I arrived in Brazil the first time that Trump was elected. Now, that was significant because when I arrived in Brazil, somebody mentioned to me that uh they said, "Hey, Trump is now our president."

[00:14:18]And I was like, "That's a very weird thing to say. Like, he just got elected in America. He's not Brazilian president. Why would you say that?" And I remember it to this day. The guy said, "Oh, well, what happens in America is going to happen later in Brazil." And I paid attention to that because you know the Brazilian election cycle is every four years as well and it overlaps America. So America's you know two years this year for example or last year was the election and then this year is the election. Last year was the election in America. This year is the election in Brazil. So I paid attention to that and and what he said and Balssonado won the here in Brazil in the the next election after Trump won there in America.

[00:15:00]So I started paying attention to those kinds of things because it is uh it's a it's a frame of reference for you. So a lot of things changed the first election with Trump and a lot of things change in America the second election with Trump.

[00:15:13]Now, um I don't live there, so I'm not experiencing that on a daily basis, but you know, when I I went back a few years ago during CO and all that, it was insane. Like, it was worse in America in California as far as like the restrictions and the lockdowns and everything else than it was here in Brazil. It was it was very challenging here, but there in California, it was like five times more challenging. And so when I had those experiences, it was like, man, this is not home anymore for me. Like this is completely different than the America that I left. And so, you know, when you leave your country, it keeps moving and things change, you know. Um, you know, as you grow old as well, like your your your flavors change. I was I was making food for my my son with my mom and I was chopping up onions and and I was like, "Oh, he's not going to have onions at his, but I'll take onions of mine." And she was reminding me that when I was a kid, I hated onions. And I was like, "Oh, that's true. I didn't like onions, but my flavors have changed over time.

[00:16:15]They've matured over time and they've changed." And so when you experience, you know, if you remember, oftentimes you romanticize even some things in your home nation and then when you go back there, you're like, "Hang on a second.

[00:16:30]This stuff is a lot different than I remember. This is not um this is not as good or this is not as challenging or this is not as whatever as I remember it before." And so it's really important like we don't overromanticize stuff here in Brazil. I'm trying not to overromanticize the reality of things here in Brazil as well because it is challenging. And yes, I am walking around in a boho here. This boho is called Santa Monica. It is a relatively safe bioho. It is a place you know that has um from what I understand like you know uh students that go to the college, the college is nearby. There's a uh there's a mall nearby. This whole area in my my front here is like a a natural preservation area and there's like See if I can show you here. There's like a lagoon here as well. Sometimes there's like crocodiles and other stuff. It's connected to the park that I'm always walking around in my other videos. I don't see any animals here right now, but show you the mall over here front that taxi and that's the mall in the front. But this is a relatively safe area called Santa Monica. But I wanted to share those those things briefly with you because it's uh it's just interesting how you know you you have a preference for something out of default. It's your default mode and then you you basically change because you need to out of necessity and then that necessity later becomes your default and and makes it you know makes it different. So, um, I'm trying to find my notes here. So, one of the things that I I put in my notes here is that it's not that America changed, it's that I changed. And as I've been talking to you guys, I've been understanding that that's true and not true at the same time. You know, America over the last 10 years has gone through an extremely different change, not just in political leadership, but in in value systems and everything else as well. And so I think that's you know in in the sense why a lot of people are are looking towards other countries is because you know the the freedoms in America are are really different like I mean let's look at the facts here like everyone came to America as an immigrant at some time if you look at Christopher Columbus and you look at the very beginning you know and so America is a land of opportunities. It's a land where you can. It's a land where you can do things. And nowadays, there's not the same opportunities that there were for people 10, 15, 20 years ago.

[00:19:06]And so, you know, the the realization is that America changed, but also I changed. And so, you kind of have like, you know, two different uh two different people re-enountering again for for the first time. If you want to contextualize it that that way. I don't know if you haven't seen a friend for a long time and you have an expectation of them to be similar to what they were before and then when you encounter them you're like hang on a second you're you're not even the same person that I remember you you have a different uh a different way of being. You have a different uh opinions.

[00:19:41]You have a different value system.

[00:19:43]You're a completely different person. I feel like that's how I've experienced uh America in a lot of ways because it's changed and I've changed and some of the things that I see there I don't like anymore. Some of the value systems that we used to have have really just changed and there's not there's not the the same America that it was before. Um you know I since coming to Brazil I've become more of a patient person in some ways. I think I can identify Americans in the crowd now uh by their looks, but also by their their stature, by their stature, right? By their um it's not aggressiveness is the right word, but it's Americans are pretty much like let's do things our way. And and that works in some situations. In other situations, it doesn't work so well because a lot of times that you need to just you need to kind of finesse your way into getting things happen. get making things happen. But uh American the American way is uh unfortunately what I've learned not always the best or not always the only way and you know when you change to another country and you adapt to new surroundings and you become a different person you're going to have to you're going to have to change values and what you believe is good what you believe is I would say it's good I would say it's your preferences your preferences begin to change and that makes uh makes all the And so, um, just in closing here, guys, uh, I want to just say like I didn't just Oh, let's see if I can capture that mountain in the back with that beautiful sunset view.

[00:21:26]I don't know if you guys can see that mountain back there, but it is Oh, the mountain in the middle of the island here.

[00:21:36]But, uh, yeah, Brazil, it changed me. And you know what these talks are about is that the embracing the change. I think so many times in hey buddy in other generations you know we looked at change is a bad thing. You know our our parents' generation they were like no this is the way I think they get done. And I think in in you know our modern youth or you know Gen Z and whatever we we're we're wanting to do things whatever is the best way not just whatever is the way that we've always done we're pursuing whatever is the best way and so I think this is what opens up the whole world to people where you know they were told American way is the best way America America America or whatever nation you're from you start to see videos here like mine to another reality in another world, another country. Um, making things work, living, and not just surviving, but but thriving in a lot of ways, deeper relationships, more connection, a different purpose.

[00:22:41]And you start to to question, you know, the the American dream. Remember the story that I told you guys in the very beginning. you know, the American dream, that guy was to work his butt off until he could, you know, sell his company for millions and then retire and sit on the beach and enjoy his family. And, you know, the Mexican fisherman story was like, well, that's what I'm doing right now. Why would I want to why do I need to work harder to get the same thing that I'm doing right now? So, you know, I think there's better ways of doing things in our life. And as we as we grow and progress in life, we're going to see those things. And that's that's the point. So, I hope you guys enjoyed this video as well as my other ones. And uh if you're getting value from this, appreciate the subscribe and I'd love to hear your comments like down below. It's been amazing to interact with people from all over the nations. I've talked to people from Ireland, from New Zealand, from Australia, from Canada, from America, from England, from all over the world. And uh I appreciate your guys support and connecting with you guys here on this channel. All right.

[00:23:41]So, until the next time, Andy's Adventures. Maybe we'll see you here in Florinopoulos, Brazil, one day in the future.