The Black Hair Trap: Weaves, Wigs & 4C Hair—Why They Hate It All

[00:00:00]back with another triggering topic and today's topic is extra triggering especially for me and very very messy. I want to talk about hair more specifically black women's hair and why is it such a topic of discussion and why is the hair of the black woman used as a weapon to degrade and humiliate the black woman.

[00:00:26]>> We've always wondered why do black women wear wigs? 80% of hair extensions and wigs are bought by black women. So 80% it's quite the majority and it's about 5.25 billion in the UK. Over 80% of West Africans also wear wigs.

[00:00:41]>> You have an African man and a Indian woman talking about we've always wondered why black women wear wigs. Said it in unison, which means that y'all practiced this to make this video. And my thing is why is that? Why do you care? You're not a black woman and you're just a black man and you don't have a black wife. So, what is the issue? Why would you be concerned about a demographic of women that you're not involved with and how they wear their hair and why they wear their hair and what they're doing with their hair and what they're buying with their money.

[00:01:18]But we already know you trying to be funny because as a black man and a Indian woman, since y'all care so much about beauty standards, why didn't y'all ever wonder why 60% of Indian women use harmful bleaching products on their skin to erase their melanin and cultural identity? Hm. I would say that using chemicals on your skin to create a permanent eraser of your complexion is far more damaging and problematic than wearing a wig that can easily be removed, right? So, how come y'all not talking about that? But I would say though that 99% of the time when black women and their hair is discussed, the root issue is humbling black women or either because sometimes this happens when black women discuss natural hair and weaves that the person that's discussing it is trying to elevate themselves over another group of black women. And I find it to be absolutely disgusting. I'm surrounded. [music] I'm in the enemy's layer.

[00:02:32]All you black people, spent all this money [music] on this hair. This crazy kid. He spent all this money on this fake hair and you still look like [music] a clown. You black people and all this money on this hair. It's crazy.

[00:02:42]He spent all this [music] money on this fake hair and you still look like a clown. Obviously, he's being disrespectful and he's saying black women look like clowns. Now, we're not saying don't wear wigs. We're not saying do that. But we're saying the reason it should be done is because you are still solid in yourself. Everyone should take pride [music] and dignity in how they were made by God.

[00:03:00]>> You know what I think is crazy? I think it's crazy that you have a black man here lecturing black women on loving themselves and being natural and trying to be this type of fake advisor and yet he's using a black man's video that constantly degrades black women. And he's calling black women the b- word throughout the entire video, but he has it edited out. And this is my thing.

[00:03:24]This fake encouragement for black women to love their natural hair from black men is a smokeokc screen because black men speak about zero other issues about black women. None of the things that black women go through, black femicide, smegs trafficking, PDFs out there in the community, the black women losing their lives during child birth, black women being abandoned the moment that they have a child. They don't talk about anything else except their hair. And the reason why they talk about black women's hair because they know that it's a sensitive topic because of how we've been treated historically with our hair and about our hair and also it's a way to humble black women. You guys are not even wearing wigs that resemble fy kinky hair. A lot of you are wearing wigs that look nothing like your hair. This is a problem. You guys are creating delusions in your head. You're wearing wig every day. If you're black and you're wearing a blonde, bright blonde platinum straight bust out wig every day. You take it off. Are you telling me you're not going to look in the mirror and think I'm going to this is my image now?

[00:04:23]This is my image.

[00:04:24]>> You have a woman here who's in a relationship with a black man who has lip injections and she's talking about black women wearing wigs and weave and creating a false reality or false image of the black woman. And what does that have to do with you? You're not a black woman. And my thing is, do you know how nutty you have to be to say that with fix a flat implanted inside of your lips? But once again, the reason why everyone is able to dogpile on us like this is because we as black women, we only focus on each other and each other's shortcomings and never say anything about anyone else. And simultaneously, we allow everyone to only focus on us without saying anything because I don't see black women out here talking about how whity women overwhelmingly get the most plastic surgery in the United States of America.

[00:05:22]And we're not even going to talk about, if I'm not mistaken, I'll put the stats on the screen, that Koreans get the most surgery globally. And I would venture to say that risking your life by going under general anesthesia, which you may not wake up from, and making permanent changes to your body, whether it be your nose, your boobs, your body, is way more of an indicator of selfhatred than a temporary removable wig. And lip injections and fillers are included in this. But everything that black women do, we are always policed. And I don't want to hear from the people, black men or black women or people in general that will say, "Oh, I'm just focusing on black women because that's the only people I care about."

[00:06:14]Well, when you do that, this is what you encourage.

[00:06:19]>> Does anyone remember when all the black women came for me for saying, "If you always wear wigs, it's a sign of self-hate." Key word being always.

[00:06:26]Unfortunately, a lot of black women cannot take criticism, do not want to do the work, do not want to hold themselves accountable, struggle with objectivity.

[00:06:36]So, when I come and I'm a straight talker Scorpio energy, they get mad at me.

[00:06:51]You got a man up on the screen that doesn't look like he's used a comb or a wash rag since the early 2000s. He's got that whole struggle beard dustmite thing going on. And so why are you even talking [laughter] like you've got other things that you need to be concerned with? And the black woman there talking about black women don't want to be held accountable. Accountable for what? And this is exactly what I'm saying. Black women allow themselves to be used by black men as weapons because do you think that he cares about you with your natural hair? Nope. Do you think that he cares about the black women that wear wigs, weaves, braids, whatever? Nope.

[00:07:27]He's just using you as a literally as a weapon to put down other black women.

[00:07:32]And it's so sad that SO MANY BLACK WOMEN can't even see that that is what their purpose is because they don't care about you either. For C sister, they don't.

[00:07:42]And once again, what do black women need to be held accountable for? For wearing a wig or weave? Are we hurting somebody?

[00:07:50]Are we unaliving people? Are we sm trafficking people? What are you talking about? And my thing is this is how come white tea women don't get this push back? How come nobody is telling them to love themselves when they go lay on that table or they tan or they get all of these blonde highlights and colors put up in their head trying to fit in a fake Marilyn Monroe image when less than 2% of the world's population is blind? How come we don't tell them this? I don't understand it. How come we don't tell them this when they get all of these filters and and excuse me, fillers and lip injections and all of that? We don't say, "Love yourself, queen. You don't need that. Why are you trying to fit into an image that's not you?" Huh? How come we don't use the term selfhatred directed towards anyone else except black women? And really, frankly, the women that are natural put in in front of the Y natural yachts. I really feel like a lot of black women, and I'm sorry, don't get mad at me, but I feel like a lot of black women like this get off on feeling like they're superior because they wear their natural hair.

[00:09:08]And I don't like that because it's just another way of you feeling like you're better than the next woman. And I think that's disgusting. And I don't believe that your hair choices make you better.

[00:09:20]I do not. And I say this as a woman that decided a long time ago that I would not wear like Brazilian straight or Malaysian straight anymore because I just felt like it just didn't look right on me. Now, however, now I've switched it out to when I do want to wear a wig, it's going to be textured, kinky straight, kinky curly, afro curly, whatever the case may be. And sometimes I'm going to wear my natural hair. I'm gonna go ahead style my hair, put it in two strand twist, then wait a few days, unravel it so that it can be a nice, beautiful twist out or braid out. Yes, I do all of that. So, I don't have a dog IN HIS FIGHT FOR anybody that says that I do. But what I'm SAYING IS USING YOUR HAIR choices to make you feel like you're superior and better than the next woman as a black woman is actually is actually disgraceful to me as well. And then if y'all noticed, you have a black woman that sat there and shared a video of a black woman not bothering nobody, not harming nobody, not talking about nobody, not doing nothing at all. She's just simply doing a wig install, and somebody decided to put monkey noises behind it. And you're a black woman sharing this. Once again, like I said before, because if we're talking about selfhatred and and black is beautiful and we're not putting black people down and black people need to realize this, that, and and the third about themselves, why would you put monkey noises behind that? Huh? Isn't that dehumanizing? Isn't that totally erasing everything that you're talking about, saying that you're doing? But once again, once again, once again, this is not rooted in helping black women love themselves. It's not. It's rooted in control and humbling the black woman and making her realize her place. It is also male centered because black men, like I said earlier, use black women as weapons oftentimes to humble other black women.

[00:11:23]And the kicker is is that a lot of times the black women that black men use as weapons ARE NOT EVEN CHOSEN THEMSELVES.

[00:11:31]SO WHAT are you even doing this for, baby girl?

[00:11:34]>> I said that I don't like weave.

[00:11:36]>> But we love to wear weave.

[00:11:38]>> Yes. That and y'all wear weave for each other. Y'all don't wear weave for us. I I guarantee you probably it's if it's five guys, three to four of us don't like weave. But we'll take it though because that's what y'all do. But we don't prefer that stuff. Y. First of all, I find it highly ironic that a bald man is out here talking about anybody's hair and what his preference is. Sir, you ain't got a lick of hair on your head. Can't use a comb, brush, doagg, wave cap, curl sponge, nothing. Can't even use BOW WOW'S BEAUTY SUPPLY store wave cap collection. And you over here policing somebody else's scalp, Mr. Clean. But this whole thing about all of these black men talking about, oh, they don't like weaves and wigs and they want black women to wear their natural hair is new to me cuz they weren't doing this in the '9s and the early 2000s because, and I want people to know this. If y'all don't know something, I'mma tell y'all a secret. The majority of black women are still very much male-centered and very much in love with black men, I don't care what they tell you on social media, they are very much still in love with black men and want their approval and validation desperately. And the ones that don't care about the validation of black men, I'm going to tell y'all another secret. Those that don't care about the validation of black men yearn and lust for the approval of the whites man. So they still want the approval and validation of a man. So let me say this.

[00:13:15]If black men pedestalized hair like this and hair like this and hair like this, black women wouldn't have black women wouldn't have no problem, zero problems taking off the wigs. Okay? But that's not what y'all pedestalize. Y'all pedestalize hair like this and like this and like this. And let me say that if the girls that you used as video vixens and the pinnacles of beauty and the pictures of perfection, if y'all used if y'all used these type of women, black women wouldn't dare put on no 30-inch bust down. I promise you that. The same way that black women were out here getting fix a flat injected in their behinds so that they could fit INTO THIS COKE BOTTLE SHAPE that black men were pedestalizing and were saying was so beautiful black men were losing their minds.

[00:14:21]They were making all of these coke bottles shaped women seem as if they were top tier the beauty standard. And so black women were literally dying dying. There are so many black women in the ground now because they were trying to go for that look specifically to appeal to black men because that's what black men made it known that they were into. So if black men really really really wanted to, they could make black women, the collective of black women, stop wearing wigs and weaves. I don't care what Y'ALL SAY. ARGUE WITH your mama about that. And do I think that all of this stuff is cool? No. But it is the reality of the black community. Period.

[00:15:05]And that's not something that y'all are probably ready to hear, but it's the truth. And I debate anybody with facts that says that I'm wrong. And I'm going to tell y'all something. I remember going out on a date with a guy. He claimed that he liked me so much. I was so beautiful. I was so this and that.

[00:15:22]And I think it was our third date. We were having a conversation. And this man told me that the most beautiful woman that he had ever seen in his life was Kim Kardashian.

[00:15:35]And I'm thinking to myself like, uh, okay, if that's who you think is the most beautiful woman that you've ever seen, you can't possibly like me, player. And I had to remove myself because I ain't trying to live up to some type of whitey woman's image in your eyes. I was just happy he exposed himself sooner rather than later before I really invested any of my true emotions into the situation. And yes, he loved a good weave. Loved a good 28 inch Brazilian bundle. Okay, cuz that was back when I used to wear the 28 in with the swoop and everything and the W curls. But nonetheless, and also I really wanted to say that anytime black women talk about their experiences about not feeling the love coming from black men when they wear their natural hair, every time it's a big argument. They're gaslights by black men and then they're silenced by black mambies who say, "Oh, that's not true.

[00:16:34]That doesn't happen to me." Well, we're not talking about you. We're talking about the hundreds and hundreds of thousands of black women that are saying that this is happening to you, happening to them. This isn't about your anecdotal experience. You know what I'm saying?

[00:16:46]So, I I really want there to be a space for black women to tell the truth about their real experiences with their hair.

[00:16:56]>> I ain't get noers going in that store, man. But it was a lot at me, but I ain't get none. I'm smelling none. I don't know if it was. I was mugging with it.

[00:17:06]Baby, I I'm not bald. Wait, can y'all ho take off y'all wigs for me?

[00:17:18]The strength is okay. I'm not B.

[00:17:22]It's just bundled up.

[00:17:26]Can we talk about something? I feel like everybody's always giving black women advice about how they should present themselves and how they should look so that they attract a certain type of man or a black man in general. As a black woman who is constantly changing her aesthetic throughout the week, whether it's because I'm going to work or I'm about to go out, I don't attract black men when I look like this. I'm going be so for real. I don't. Black men do not check for me when I look like this. And I look like this nine times out of 10.

[00:17:57]Respectfully, no. Because But she is she is beautiful though, but it's not my type of >> Okay.

[00:18:02]>> Yeah.

[00:18:02]>> Okay. And what makes her not really your type?

[00:18:04]>> Um I the hair is it's the hair for me. You know what I mean?

[00:18:12]>> Yeah.

[00:18:13]>> I like nice hair when I could rub my fingers through it. You know what I mean? Okay.

[00:18:18]>> White women hair silky. black women nappy wigs falling all off at the >> and black women can show all of this evidence and say their experiences and yet there are black women that will be like oh just because that happened to you that that doesn't mean it's really happening or you don't know what you're doing to your hair or they'll just say something else stupid and I really don't like that either and I'm really not going to use examples because I don't want to get accused of being antilack but I'm just gonna say that in the black community, I also find this to be very problematic. I don't know if anyone's ever said this before, but I'm going to say it. I feel like we act like just because someone is wearing their natural hair out or they have their natural hair styled a certain way that it makes them exempt from criticism. And if you criticize it, you're antilack. Like I feel like if we can talk about wigs and weaves and we can say we don't like this style or that style or this certain type of braid or whatever or even we can talk about other groups of demographics of people and we can say oh we don't like that hairstyle. We don't like this hairstyle.

[00:19:32]Why can't we do that when it comes to black women? I don't understand that.

[00:19:36]Why is it that when it's a natural style on a black woman, if someone says, "Oh, I don't like that." That means that we're antilack. Just because you have natural hair as a black woman, we're not different than nobody else on this planet, that doesn't mean just because you have your natural hair out, it's going to be a great style. I don't I don't agree with the fact that we can say all of these other things about black women, but not that. And I just feel like, and the reason why I say this is because you have some black women that are natural, wear their natural hair out, but their natural hair doesn't look good. It doesn't. and they think that they can advise you on wearing your natural hair out and you're sitting there looking at them like, "No, I don't like your hair. I don't like the way it looks and I don't want my hair to look like that." And then instead of understanding that it's not that you're saying that you don't like forcy hair or you don't like afroexture hair, that's not the problem. It's just a problem that your hair your hair looks a mess.

[00:20:33]No. What happens is a person gets called antilack and then no real conversations can be had. I hope y'all understanding what I'm saying because I've had some women that are natural come and try to have debates with me and I'm thinking, ma'am, what? No, no, no, no. It looks like you don't drink water at all. Your hair looks ridiculous.

[00:20:56]And my thing is is that so you can't argue with me about black women or shame black women for wearing extensions and weaves and all of that. And you're telling me that natural hair is a better option for everybody. and you're the proof of that and you have dry matted hair that looks to be in poor condition.

[00:21:14]And I say this as a licensed cosmetologist. I don't do hair anymore, but I definitely did for years and years and years and I'm still licensed. So don't do me. And that's not antilack to comment on someone's hair like in certain ways if y'all get what I'm saying. But all I'm saying really at the end of the day is this. This is all I want y'all to take from this video is let black women exist.

[00:21:43]Okay? It's a lot of people out here that don't believe in God, don't believe in nothing. Believe that this is the only life that you get. After this, you're cooked. Nothing's after this. Now, I don't believe that, but a lot of people do. And if you believe that, man, then don't you think that life is too short to be policing other people for their decisions? Because when somebody finds your bones a long time from now, are they do will they know if you were natural or not? No. No. And my thing is like if y'all are out here, I have seen people out here making think pieces on Bonnie Blues dog on near having a gang bang at her baby shower and why she should be allowed to do that. And that's on her and that's her freedom. And don't let shame her. If you can if y'all can agree with that, which I wholeheartedly disagree with, but if y'all can agree with that, y'all can let a black woman wear her hair however she likes in peace.

[00:22:50]I'm crashing out. I'm sorry. Let me woo.

[00:22:56]All right. Let me send y'all calming healing energy. I don't want to leave the video off with irritation and give y'all that energy. I send you peace, love, and healing vibes. I digress. Now, if you watch this whole video and you truly enjoyed it, then please do me a favor and drop a 100 down below in the comments. And if you can't donate to my cash app above, that's no problem at all. I know times are hard out here. We all just trying to make it. Follow your girl on my second channel, Certified Over Reactions. It's a fun time over there. See it for yourself. Follow your girl on TikTok. I do live stream there.

[00:23:31]Follow your girl on YouTube, this YouTube channel. Hit that notification bell. Subscribe and hype hype hype hype my video up. And as always, ladies, and I know that the hair thing is a very, very touchy touchy touchy topic. So, I want y'all to know I love y'all. I love all of y'all. I love my kinky hair divas. I love my weave divas. I love my wig divas. I love my braided divas. I love all of us. And I want all of us to be happy and just be able to do our own thing. But y'all let me know what y'all think about this. Please drop your thoughts, comments, and feelings down below.