Faking disabilities for social media views is a harmful practice that exploits the experiences of genuinely disabled people, perpetuates harmful stereotypes, and can have long-term consequences for those who fake conditions, as the internet permanently records such behavior and can affect future opportunities like employment and education.
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It comes up with preparing and my brain just went prepare to prepare to fast forward. Preparing to fast forward fast.
>> Well, we'll see a most updated version to that very soon, apparently.
>> Yes. I'm so excited. I I It sounds terrible, but I really hope that um Mel Brooks lives to see the premiere.
>> Well, I mean, look, he's Yeah, he's he's he's >> Alexa disconnect. Precious Tristan's already here.
>> Hi Christian.
>> Let's do the chat again.
>> Hello you beautiful people. How are you?
>> Ding. Hello club Jed.
Yes.
>> Hello. Hello. Hello. I did see there was a recent like promo video for the new Space Ball movies and it's Mel Brooks and he's saying to the disappointment of everyone it will not be called Space Balls to the search for more money.
>> Yeah. It will be called Space Balls the new one.
>> The new one. Yes. Hi Nikki.
>> Nikki here.
>> Yes. So I was just like >> right in the WhatsApp group right in the chat.
I'm mildly disappointed that it won't be called Space Balls: The Search for More Money, but >> they they acknowledged it and they know >> they did. They did.
>> It's not like they're not going to say, "Right, yeah, >> it's honest, I suppose.
>> I'm going to pretend like the the thing didn't ex exist." Yeah. Yeah. I Yeah, we're going actually hold on. Yeah.
Yeah. They're They're going to do something. And you know what? Yeah.
Whatever it is going uh >> I'm sure it's going to be fine.
>> Yeah. Oh, I have absolute faith in in Mel Brooks. I'm just >> Yeah.
>> Yeah.
>> It's Yeah, it's disappointing, but whatever. There's other things to do.
>> Oh, Nikki has given gifted uh five memberships. Thank you, Nikki.
>> Oh, thank you very much.
>> That's very kind of you. Then we got like 50 55 members now.
>> That's cool.
>> We're gonna get a massive hit at the end of the month.
>> Oh, wow.
>> Thank you very much.
>> Uh, Club Jed says, "You all been doing this at the perfect times this week for me to catch you."
>> So, there you go. We You got your timing perfect.
>> These are my poverty streams.
>> These are poverty.
>> Yes. Yes. is poverty stream. Your poverty streams involve u I I have a a new uh get up at the moment. I have a new uh smoking cap.
>> Yes, she's wearing wearing it.
>> And it goes well with the uh goes well with the wizard's robe night.
>> I have a I have a I have a glorious wizard's robe and a and I have a glorious smoking cap and you can't really see either of them very well.
>> You can kind of see them. Uh, but they exist. I want everyone to know why they exist and they do so for Dave. So, >> he put them on just for you.
>> Yeah.
>> So, I hope you appreciate the effort he put into his appearance, which you can't >> which you can't see.
>> But I'm telling you, >> but the thought was there.
>> Thought was there. I'm telling you right now that they are there and I look glorious.
So, those are the rules. Okay.
>> I believe it works. Yeah. Thank Thanks, Dave.
>> I say see Nikki Nikki he Yeah. Yeah.
Yeah.
>> Yeah. Nikki says, "Nice hat, Alexander."
>> Thank you, Nikki. Thank you, Nikki.
Nikki, thank you. Thank you.
>> So, uh, shall we get on with Alex's moan of the week because I think he really would like to >> I have a >> Have you done the things? Oh, I need to I need to I need to fiddle with Dave's back end.
>> I always forget that until he reminds me. It's part of our our thing now. Part of the thing >> is the reminder. It's It's like doesn't feel right if you don't actually say it.
>> You fiddle with Dave's back end. All right. You go you go for it.
>> It's what we do every time.
>> And uh Okay. Edit.
Load. Anyway, while I'm doing that, while I'm fiddling away, >> you fiddle with Dave's back end.
>> Yes, >> we have your moan of the week.
>> Yes, your moan of the week.
>> This is my moan of the week. Right. Um, everyone gather around, children. I shall tell you a tale. Right. Um, what's happened recently is this child.
>> Okay. And uh Laura Laura, >> I'm not entirely sure I'm happy with where >> Yeah, I'm a little concerned about where this is going.
>> Let me tell you about this. And this is this is why I'm I'm trying to be very vague. I was going to not be vague. I'm decided, no, you know what? No, I'm going to be vague. Um, this uh this kid decided to um be a little [ __ ] and punish a cat and what he did.
>> Okay. Um >> Yeah.
>> Okay. Mhm.
>> Is it that kid from Is it the kid from the internet?
>> The kid from the internet?
>> You might as well say.
>> Just that one kid. Just that one kid from the internet.
>> You might as well say the >> There's a No, no. There's there's a very very specific teenager who has >> Oh, yeah.
>> never been caught, but had many YouTube channels where he did horrendous things.
>> No, like this is >> microwaving kittens until they exploded and things.
>> Oh, bloody hell. No, no, no, no. This is this is a very specific uh situation and I I'll let you carry on. Thank you for thank you for pointing that out because uh you know things like that is are you know well worth >> well worth pointing out and well worth uh hunting down. Here's a situation.
This uh this kid um in a moment of anger grabbed a hold of a kitten and and just constantly slammed him onto the ground in a fit of anger. It was absolutely horrible and absolutely nasty. It was not on tape.
Thank God quite frankly. Now, here's a situation that happened this that everyone is talking about. He was asked by his mother and his mother filmed this. He said, she said, "Uh, right, this is what's going to happen. You're going to take your PS5 and what's going to happen is you're going to take this PS5 and you're going to you're going to slam it onto the ground exactly how you did with my cat." All right, this is what's going to happen. And of course, this this kid just sl just constantly slammed it on the ground and she did it again and again and again exactly how he did with this this cat. So he he he picked it up and slammed it and she said, "Pick it up and do it again. All right, pick up slam it. Do it again. All right, do it again. Pick it up. Slam it.
Do it again." And she he const she he constantly did it again. And um and it basically said this p this this kid has got anger issues and this kid absolutely needs to be taught a lesson and this is exa exactly what happened >> and now and now this is a powerful situation and I 100% >> I'm on board with this mother's punishment >> for sure. If you are going to take an animal and [ __ ] it around and decide to screw it and and slam it over, I'm going to take the greatest thing that you hold on to.
>> I'm going to force you to do exactly the same thing >> and I'm I 100% agree that this is the right sort of punishment.
>> Oh, for sure.
>> Yeah. Here's the thing, though. This is where I'm going to be a bit controversial. I'm going to say, "Yep, you are you are being a right you are being a correct mother. You are being a right mother. You this is the right way of doing it. Here's what I disagree with."
>> I just wanted to throw in that I I disagree that it's the the right thing to do, but not perhaps for the reasons you think, but I'll let you.
>> All right. All right. This is why I do not agree with this 100%. She should not have filmed it at all.
And she should not have filmed it because my god, if you think, oh, filming this child for screwing about with a cat on the internet and then putting it online, the amount of hate that you are going to receive for the next I don't know >> Yeah.
>> Oh my god. This child will have one and truly learned his lesson five times in the next two years >> and he's still going to constantly get barragements of of hatred and disembowment in the next 10 years or so.
It's just >> disturbing how much he is going to learn his lesson 100%.
We are all we're all going to agree with that. But he is going to learn his lesson five times more because the internet is just not going to either believe or or um believe that this is not going. The very next thing that I saw when I saw this video of this this child just bashing his his PS5 is one video of someone saying, "I don't think that's good enough. I think this child should have should go out and go to a a a child uh a a a pet hospice and make sure that he is uh he he does volunteer work and stuff. I wish all I also agree with. But here's the thing, he's going to receive this so many times throughout his life.
I >> I don't know if I'd want someone like that around vulnerable people because this kid is clearly still learning how to yeah manage his emotions and having him around, you know, old andor disabled people is probably not not going to end in a particularly good way. And again, I I 100% agree that this mother gave him the right punishment, but I do not agree that it should have been recorded.
>> How old is this child?
>> Uh, I think he looks around 9 or 10. I I Googled it, but he can't seem to find the name, the age.
>> I'm going to guess he's 10 to 11.
>> I I have some I have some uh parental responsibility to >> By all means, you are you are the one of us who actually has a child and is actually a parent. So >> of all three of all three of us, you are actually a child. No, no, you are >> you are >> Alex and I were never we're not we weren't children. We weren't born. We just kind of spawn into existence as are >> Yeah.
>> Alex fell to Earth Mr. Bean style. I just kind of crawled out of a pit smoke and fire.
>> Here's the thing. This is not new behavior. No. Yeah. A a 10-year-old child doesn't just do that >> once. That the parent knew >> that that was a risk and they put the cat in a situation that it should never have been in. If you have a child that you know has anger issues like that, you don't get a [ __ ] pet.
>> Yeah.
>> Sad times, but you know, you you chose to have a child, you are responsible for that.
>> Yeah. I mean, the other side of that coin is I was looking for uh articles or whatever, and mostly it's just people reacting to the video. We only have her word that he did this to the cat.
>> Yeah.
>> Like, for all we know, it's just stage for views. Like, >> I I suspect it's just rage bait.
>> Yeah.
>> Unless anybody knows the individuals involved, it's probably just rage bait.
>> But having said that, if if a child had done that, um, had a 12 done that then you take their char and you want to uh punish them in that way. Then you take the PlayStation to a charity shop and you give it to somebody.
>> Well, I mean there was there are comments about that sort of thing.
Although interestingly, somebody did say something about um all you're teaching the kid is to hide it when he does it next time, >> which to an extent is >> that's the same with all punish.
>> So hang on. So they're like the So the kid told the Can we get the video up?
Can we see this?
up to you, man.
>> Um, I can try and God, now I have to learn how to do streaming stuff. I don't like this reality.
>> Where's Tristan when you need him?
>> Yeah. Apparently, the video is just of the kid um kid forced to destroy PlayStation.
Obviously, there's no video of um the kid.
>> No, I hope >> pushing the cat.
>> Yeah, >> but the kid is in the video. Yeah. So, >> yeah. Yeah. And I It's on TikTok. I assume the video >> it's on Tik Tok.
>> She's exploiting her child.
>> Well, look look, I don't agree with that. But I will say that uh this this mother did say, "Hey, just lift up your PS5 and put it up on your tippy toes like you did with my cat and just smash it on the exactly like you did with with my cat." So, um >> how many times did he do it to the cat?
Oh, several times apparently with this uh with this video. Now, here's the thing. We do not know how many times he did it with the cat.
Uh so, we don't we don't know with >> I don't know if this is sharing. Is it sharing?
Can you Alex, can you see what I'm sharing?
>> I I can I can absolutely see what you're looking at. Go on. Uh oh. I haven't pressed play yet, so I was you go for it.
>> Uh volume is on. Okay.
>> Louder. Louder. Louder. Louder.
>> That's very loud for me at least.
>> Yeah.
>> Yeah. So, he's smashing it. And he's clearly upset. He's >> Yeah. He's crying a bit.
>> So, she's abusing her child to teach her child not to abuse animals. She's financially exploiting her child and she's ruining his entire life going forwards.
>> See, I don't agree with the uh I don't agree with >> I do not agree with uh filming this at the very least. This is this is this is not >> I mean the very fact that she kept saying do that [ __ ] like the very fact she's using the word [ __ ] like I mean kind of tells you what sort of parenting level we're with here. I'm guessing we're in America here.
>> Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. It's Yeah.
And it's just keeps going over going on and on. Yeah. Yeah.
>> Everyone has everyone has their their limit. And my limit is basically just do not do not film this. Just do not.
>> Yeah. I Yeah, I I agree with you that the uh there should there should be some certainly some consequences for that.
And I don't necessarily disagree with taking away in fact no I don't disagree with taking away a games console >> for for that but you know she should be >> if if she's prepared to do that on the internet then I want to know what else is going on.
>> Yeah. Well, yeah. And as I say, the the sort of giveaway to me is like it's one thing if your kids sort of I remember when I worked in the bank and we had this lady come in with uh two kids under the age of like five, well maybe six.
And one of them basically yelled at the other um something like, "Stop [ __ ] around, Sophie." Or, "Stop do stop [ __ ] doing that." And of course, you know, I sort of giggled because I'd never heard children that young swearing before. and you know, a couple of the other uh people in the bank sort of, you know, shared looks and the mother was clearly embarrassed like I've never seen anybody hustle kids out of a location that fast. But, you know, and so obviously they're exposed to the language and I remember being around my ex's eldest niece when she said her first swear word. She literally repeated verbatim what her aunt had said. I laughed so hard I nearly fell over.
Um and and the family were asking what happened because they could see me. They could see us off to because we were off to the side and they were like, "What were you laughing?" Because Kim's standing there going to to the little girl who was like, I don't know, four going sh No, don't ever say don't you paranoid for this kid. I'm laughing my ass off and they're like, "What the [ __ ] happened?" They just see it playing me out in mime kind of thing. Um, so yeah, certainly there are incidences where, you know, you you let one slip around, you let a [ __ ] or a [ __ ] or a damn or a [ __ ] or whatever.
>> Yeah.
>> Um, but to to be saying, you know, pick that [ __ ] up and do it again. Pick that.
And using the word over and over, >> like that to me kind of like that I guess I'm just a horrifically judgmental person because that to me kind of screams this is not a good home environment.
>> Yeah. But for for me specifically, I mean, you you can sort of waver that sort of stuff away and I whatever, but here's what really here's what grinds my gear. Um, we have been told again and again with with with our generation at the very least, >> do not put any crap on the internet.
>> Yeah. Yeah. The internet never dies. The internet remembers >> they remember the internet remembers the internet will never die.
>> That ch that mother has given that child his face.
>> I'd just like to say for the record that although we showed the video, do not go over and give anybody any hate.
>> Oh yeah. Don't go.
>> Anybody found doing so will be I'll just block you and that'll be the end of it.
>> Yeah. Please do not do that. Um while I agree >> if only for the reason that >> engagement drives uh >> yeah we we here we here most definitely do not >> we here at blind Dave 88 do not in any way condone >> yeah um here's the thing and this this child will be hearing about this >> for the next for probably rage bait >> and that's not he will learn his lesson but then he'll learn his lesson plus one and then plus one again and then constantly he will he will get it but then he'll constantly get >> he would have learned his lesson if she'd given his Xbox to a f PlayStation to a friend >> exactly here's the thing >> in terrible trouble for misgendering consoles >> this uh this situation would have would have 100% would have would have been done if she would have just being quiet, >> taken the Xbox and just sold it. And then she would be up 150.
>> I mean, I can kind of understand destroying it because you're trying to sort of teach the kid the lesson that like, you know, destroying things is wrong. Breaking things is wrong.
>> But then you give it to someone and you tell them you took it out the back and smashed it with hammer.
>> It makes it visual. I I 100% get it. It makes it visual. It makes it um real, >> more tangible. Yeah, more real.
>> More tangible is the word. It makes the weird situation more tangible if you take something that you hold dear and then really screw it up.
>> I mean, the one good thing is that it doesn't seem that either of these people have been named. If if I mean, sure, they might identify.
>> How many video got >> Well, I mean, but all the all the >> It's got the kid's face in it.
>> Well, yeah, it's got the kid's face in it. I'm I'm thinking about like 10 years because um I think it was Trishian who said you know um they stick around for a long time could harm him for a while even if he does change. So you know 10 20 years you know 10 years from now when he's applying to colleges or jobs you know they can be like oh you're the PlayStation kid kind of thing.
>> Yeah. But because he's he hasn't been named potentially avoid going to get the [ __ ] kicked out of him. Well, that too.
But I mean, like >> he is I will I will 100% guarantee right now in his in his school he is getting the [ __ ] >> Oh, for sure. Which sucks.
>> Every single day.
>> Yeah. But but that's the problem is because it sticks around online, you know. I there are plenty of people who have issues about trying to get a job because you know and failing because oh 10 years ago you did this or 20 years ago you posted that and you know it's like well you people grow they well some people grow some people mature not all but some.
>> Yeah.
>> And you know even if and because even if you delete it off your socials somebody else >> [ __ ] we've just shown it.
>> Yeah. Well, yeah, >> other people are I mean, yeah. No, no, you know what? Maybe a hundred people will see it here, but >> other people will be reacting to that.
It once it's on TikTok and picked up.
>> I I want to point out, you know, I'm I'm trying to >> I might clip it out of the VOD.
Actually, just >> do do what you wish. Um I'm doing I wanted to point this out with with great hope that uh to know that people change and but videos stay forever and so >> and this the person that you are seeing right now is probably not the person who is around because within two years this person is going to be a different person. Well, hopefully hopefully a better person, potentially a worse one, but hopefully a better one.
>> Yeah.
>> And and you know, and again, like I sort of say this about some other things.
People often talk about why would you film that and post it.
>> Again, I mean, I don't know if if the mother posted it or if she just showed it like she sent it to some friends and then they posted it, you know, like >> she did she posted it herself. Okay. But it does also happen where you film something and you just share it with your friends and family and then they go on and post it elsewhere.
>> No parent of our age has any excuse for that. I mean, >> no, >> you you're accountable for what you once it's left your phone, it's still your fault.
>> Yeah. No. Well, I I mean, I was thinking more about, oh, you know, funny, embarrassing, like, oh, I was at Subway and my pants fell down because I've lost all this weight or something and it was filmed and I'm showing it to dad because, haha, isn't it funny? And then >> dad sent it to seven friends who Well, yeah. Well, yeah, >> I hopefully you could trust Well, we won't go into that, but the point is, yes, in this one specific case with this specific child, >> yeah, it's it is kind of [ __ ] up to, you know, and public shaming never worked. Well, rarely works.
>> I I am uh I'm all for public shaming when it deals with uh people who have 100% been proven to either had done sexual assaults to another person that have not been able to.
>> Oh yeah, you can sh I think shaming an adult online for >> Yeah. Well, yeah. Shaming an adult is different.
>> When it comes to adults, yes, you go ahead.
>> And yeah, things like sexual assault.
Okay. But I'm thinking like public shaming for like I don't know I was 18 and I stole a car, you know, as someone who has had their cars stolen. You know, I wouldn't even want to public shame [ __ ] McGee because I got better things to do with my time mostly. But, you know, it's it it doesn't work. It's like the like the death penalty. It's not a deterrent.
It doesn't stop people from doing it.
No, >> it might stop the person doing it, >> but it's not going to stop other people >> the death penalty.
>> Yeah. but it's not going to stop other people from doing it in the future. So, in that sense, it's it's not a deterrent. And public shaming in this day and age, again, you publicly shame online and it's there forever. So 40 years from now or, you know, 60 years from now at your funeral, you're you're going to be meme'd in your own eulogy as you're >> that kid who had to bash his PlayStation because he smashed a cat in even though he turned out to actually be a lovely person who opened up several animal protection charities and made the world go vegan. You like, it's it's still going to be there, unfortunately.
But anyway, >> so that's what I wanted to whine about tonight.
>> Well, sir, well winded.
>> And I think that uh created a good and sensible con.
>> It's all downhill from here.
>> Yeah. So, you're welcome everybody.
You're welcome. And uh Dave, you've just started a goal. So, hello.
>> Hello, goal.
>> Hello, goal.
Talking of disgusting people on Tik Tok.
>> Yes.
>> Gather around. We shall tell the people.
>> Gather around the campfire, children.
The story continues.
>> As uh how many people out there are aware of just this uh faking disabilities for clicks.
>> Yeah.
>> Situation.
>> Yes.
>> I haven't heard of this. Tell me more, good sir.
>> Okay. Um, did I think is the the cool thing at the moment to pretend to have um uh which is a dissociative disorder.
It used to be multiple personality disorder and then it got changed as as things do and and it's a it is a very real um mental illness.
>> Nikki just donated $5. Thank you.
>> Thank you very much, Nikki.
Um, and it's very very very complicated. It exists as I've done a reasonable amount of research on this, but far from an expert.
>> He watched three five minute videos.
>> Oh, no, no, no. I've been brewing on this for weeks >> and >> Did you possibly watch a Penguin Zero video about it that sent you down a ra?
>> I don't think he's done one actually.
Um, >> can I just >> get hang I was just I'll just like fill in the things and then but um so as far as I've been able to work out it's caused by usually caused by childhood trauma.
>> Yes. And it causes that a part of your um yourself to fracture away and become a not a complete person but a part of your being that harbors that and uh keeps it away from the rest of your brain.
>> Yeah.
>> Like a quarantine situation.
>> Yeah. It's a form of selfp protection, a sort of compartmentalization to the degree. a doctor, not an expert.
>> Yeah.
>> But I I I am I am fairly sure that what it doesn't allow you to do is create a hundred different altars of yourself that are full people which you can switch between on camera for Tik Tok.
>> Ah, right. Okay.
Is this a better and uh more direct version of uh Tourette's syndrome or perhaps multiple personality syndrome?
>> Yeah. No, it's it's used to be called I worked with >> faked Tourette's.
>> Oh, it's called fake Tourette's. Oh, no.
Nikki posted saying that uh >> uh Tristan donated5 pounds and Rose donated $5. So, thank you people. Thank you very much, Blimey.
>> Appreciate you. Yeah. Um, >> unrelated, I have to ask. Hey, Nikki and Tristan, do have I seen you in my own personal um uh streams on um pretentious stream on stuff like that beforehand. I >> Christian's been on the show before, >> unless you're in our our group chat.
Bean one. B1 just uh donated10 pounds.
Thank you.
>> Thank you so much.
>> My brain is going, it's spelled B E A O N E. Um and my brain is going B1 and B2.
Ooh, is that the bananas and pajamas?
>> No, >> B1.
>> Thank you, B2.
>> Um >> I think what I'm thinking B1, I think I am.
>> Not quite that, but yeah. So, so multiple personality disorder is now known as disassociative identity disorder.
>> That's what it is. It's disassociative identity disorder.
>> Yes. And as you say, it's it's often used as a film trope in like um usually like horror or thriller films.
>> Like the most recent sort of big one was Split. Um which uh I think was that Might Shia Melon um where Owen McGregor plays a charact no not McGregor?
Yeah. Yeah. No, McGregor played um a guy who uh had like 12 personalities and they some of them knew about each other, some of them didn't kind of thing and one was like a >> Got it.
>> Sorry.
>> Yeah. One of them was like a strange a sort of very posh woman and another was an OCD sort of clean freak. One was like a 10-year-old boy. There's always a kid in there. Um, you know, and this that >> James Makavoy in Split.
>> James Makavoy. Sorry, that was it.
>> Tristan. Tristan's on it.
>> Thank you. Thank you, Tristan. I knew when I was saying >> Google in the land, >> but I was like, "No, hang on. Wait, hang on." Yes. No, wait. Yes. No. Maybe I have.
>> Oh, he's seen them. Great trilogy of films.
>> Yes, I have seen I've seen them. It's um Split Glass and I always forget what the third one is.
>> Um >> Tristan, do you want to come on? You can come on if you want. If you're bored.
>> You can if you want. I've seen one of those, but uh yeah, I haven't seen all of them. They were going for the u the almost the MCU of the of horror, >> but um >> sort of fell apart.
It's uh but yeah so so yeah so a lot of people come up with these fake altars and as Kamarita says the person usually isn't aware um what the alter does and uh you know in movies it's again the trope is played for like you know oh let's try and get personality three to come out or personality 4. Terry Cratchet actually had a character that had multiple personalities. Ron Duck.
>> No, no, no. It wasn't Duck Man. It was one of the others.
>> Allgether Andrews Andrews. Yes. Yes. All together Andrews.
>> And part of the firm.
>> Yes.
>> The crew.
>> Yes. And he >> My Prattet is slipping. That was terrible.
>> It is. Yes. Well, I mean, I couldn't remember which one of the group it was either, but movie.
>> There's 70 books that Terry Pratchett has written. you know, take a take your pick, you know.
>> Yes.
>> Yeah. He he he wrote a lot.
>> And to be fair, altogether, Andrews doesn't get a lot of page time compared to like The Duck Man or Fowl Orbron.
>> Um, but yeah, but even then, I think like three of his personalities are all the same guy.
>> Can I can I quickly >> just one second Trist Tristan? No, it's not a repeat link. I'll just for you.
>> We are We are We are live. We are live.
We are live. Yes.
I need to I need to say this very nice and well great and wellhearted uh moment that happened to me. A f uh I went to one of the first um discorld uh conventions that happened in the UK and it was absolutely brilliant. This happened in oh 2001 something like that.
It was so nice. And I went over there and this was in the days when uh Terry Patchet was still alive.
>> And um uh my my roommate was this delightful chap. He was from uh Italy and he decided to just walk around with a duck on his head because sure, why why not, you know? Let's let's just dress up.
>> It's an easy cosplay.
>> Exactly. I'm going to dress up as Doug May. And and then uh eventually Terry Pratcher himself just just went up to both of us and he just could of course he couldn't just walk by us. He decided to and he saw both of us and he looked at me and he pointed at me and said, "Why have you got a duck on your head?"
>> Ah, perfect.
>> That's brilliant. it he that or he could have just walked past and gone bad.
>> Yeah. Millennium troop.
>> Either one. I thought >> Well done. Well done. This is This is why this is why you >> This is why you're you.
>> This is why you're you and this is why we've got a full convention.
>> Dedicated. So salute.
>> That's a great story.
>> Oh [ __ ] I just nearly read Tristan's mobile number out.
>> Yeah. Don't Don't do that.
>> Who's the doctor? Maybe it's not George after all. Must run in the family.
Dave's cousin George came on stream once and almost doxed several members of the family.
>> He's on a bit of a world tour at the moment, but he >> lucky bastard.
Says she who's going back to Australia, >> right? Tristan incoming. moving myself.
>> Tristan incoming. Be warned. Take shelter. Helmet >> backlash instead of enter.
>> Let's try again.
Tristan incoming.
>> In three. No, I'm not going to do a countdown because it'll go wrong. Cuz it always goes wrong. I'm going to get rid of this decorative thing around me cuz it's mildly annoying.
>> I don't know if it's sending or not.
Is it sending? Tristan, can you hear us?
>> Are you right? Tristan, Tristan, Tristan, Tristan, Tristan, TRISTAN, TRISTAN. NO, >> we're losing a minute.
>> Don't lose you, TRISTAN. TRIST, >> DAMN IT. NOT WANT MORE. NO MORE. NOT AGAIN. I PROMISED.
>> OKAY.
>> Calm down, everybody.
>> This is what it's like in in in the house with me and Alex. We we we're both really bad drama students. We take an idea and we run with it and just don't stop.
You probably drive our neighbors nuts.
But hey, >> yeah, I'm happy about that.
>> Did I send Tristan the link or not?
>> Yes, I did send Tristan the link because he's here.
>> Oh, yes. Well, he's here. He's muted, but he's here. Creepy big eyed avatar.
>> I will say >> I will say um >> Ah, Tristan. Hello. Hello.
>> We have a Tristan on board.
>> We do. We have a Tristan in the chat. I was going to say the house, but technically not it.
>> Sorry. I was downstairs in front of the TV, not my computer.
>> It's okay. It took me long to send the link.
>> You did.
Yes. We overstimulated Dave with our yelling for Christian.
>> Yeah. Sorry about that. Sorry, Dave. cuz he cuz he has those hyper hearing senses because he's blind. You know, the whole compensating senses thing.
>> We I keep on forgetting that David is in fact Daredevil.
>> Darede Yes, he's Daredevil secretly.
>> Sorry about that.
>> Spandex and all.
>> That I mean that is sexy and uh and Dave is sexy, but let's let's not let's not talk about that.
>> We have controversy in the chat.
>> Oh, controversy. Contra contra controy.
>> Oh my god.
>> Oh yes. Well, I mean Christian kind of looks like Ringo. Sit >> in front of a drum kit.
>> Uh, no. No, he No, no, no.
>> He's got the beard.
>> I'm sure Tristan is a good drummer.
>> I'm sure he would be >> probably better than Vingo.
>> It's not difficult.
>> I mean, they used to say he wasn't even the best drummer in the Beatles. Yes, I love that.
>> Ask anyone ask anyone in the Beatles, they they will probably say, "Yeah, yeah, yeah, absolutely. Yeah, sure."
>> Um, >> well, two of them are dead, so good luck with that.
>> Yeah.
>> Not fair. I mean, he he's not the flashiest of drummers, but >> No, but he's good. He's solid. He's better than Lars.
>> Not many not many uh drummers can say that they were the voice of Thomas the Tank Engine.
>> Well, that is true.
>> Only one of them, in fact. Yes.
>> Exactly. Yeah. Yeah. So, I'll say um >> Oh, does Tristan have a Thomas the Tank Engine something or other?
>> He has a Thomas the Tank Engine.
>> Do his eyes move or do they just stay in that one sort of sus looking?
>> Oh, they move. Cool. The eyes move. Yay.
>> I look I look You know what? I look I look back upon being a uh a toddler and I think I was just told I was just told what to like.
>> Hello sofa dog.
>> And the thing that I was told to like was Thomas the Tank Engine.
Uh so >> hello dog.
>> Okay. Come and get your daily stream.
>> You have to go higher. You have to go higher.
>> Yeah. We need to get the dog on the stream. Come on. Yeah. There we go. Sofa dog, >> can I help you?
>> If you lick my face, I'll have to flick your nose. That's the rules.
>> She's like, "Get your fingers out of my eyes."
>> What are you playing?
>> Your own eyes.
>> I have to uh constantly uh throw a cat out of my uh our our shop at work.
>> You be careful cuz your mom will destroy your PlayStation.
>> Yeah.
>> Yeah. Hey, hey, hey, hey. I am respectful and I am an adult and I just do you know what I do when it comes to a cat who is is is screwing about with it.
Do you know what I do? I go, "Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, shoot. Go away. Go away. Go away." That's what I do.
>> Sometimes it works.
>> Yeah. Yeah. Sometimes it works. And if I if that doesn't work on our cat, >> I'm going to have to shut the door.
>> Now it's getting serious. Yeah. Yeah.
Our our cat's a piece of [ __ ] And uh I love I love our cat. And um >> my goal is complete. Thank you very much.
>> Demi Fraggle donated $5 and finished the goal. Thank you everyone who donated.
>> Yeah.
>> Should do another goal.
>> That was easy. Well, time to do another one.
>> This is what happens when you talk about cats. People love cats.
>> People donate when you talk about pets.
Yes.
>> I got a quick question, Dave. Yes, mate.
>> Do you get the same money from YouTube if it comes from a membership and a super chat?
>> Um, yeah, you get >> the percentage the same same thing.
>> Yeah, you get se 70% of um >> Cool.
>> Excellent.
>> There's not many people tonight, but we can we we we can get we can get Dave some some more cash. Hey, all of you.
You, you people out there. You, you. I'm talking. Yeah. No. No. Put down the beans. Put the Put them down right now.
No. Shush. We're talking to you. You You need to You need to call up your mates.
All right.
>> Call now to donate.
>> Pick up the phone or whatever. No. You might be watching this on your phone.
Shut up. Pick put that down. pick him up and just say, "Hey, blind Dave needs to see you." All right.
>> Do that.
>> Those call in charity streams we used to do, >> you know, back in like the 90s and stuff where you would call in and pledge money.
Oh man, I'm old. We were talking about people who fake orders.
>> We had a point.
>> Look, it worked. It worked. Terry's here. Oh, >> hi Terry. Member for three months.
>> See, >> I got this for free also. Hi. Oh, Dave, go on then. Terry got it for free. Go on, do your thing, Dave.
>> Free of charge. Sorry. You know, for free. We should talk directly to the audience constantly. We should do that.
You know, >> what do >> Hey, idiots, shut up. Put that down. You need to listen to us.
>> The worst part is is that Yeah, Alex is relatively sober. He's like this all the time.
>> Yeah.
>> You you say that I'm relatively sober.
No, no, no. Today is uh >> comparatively.
>> No, today is um today is a cheat day because it's my it's my version of Friday. So, I'm happy.
>> This is my happy day.
>> Camarus says they don't have any mates.
>> A honey.
>> Okay. Well, we'll be your friends.
>> We'll be your parents. All the people I hang out with on a regular basis are here.
>> Yeah, kind of the same.
>> But anyway, the the the topic of today's >> Yes, indeed.
>> Today's stream was supposed to be >> people who fake disabilities. Uh including but not limited to disassociative identity disorder. Uh Tristan, clearly you know the movies I was talking about with Split and Unbreakable and Glass. Um, yes. So, you understand the concept.
>> Yes.
>> Movies, right? They're not that.
>> They are good movies and it shows that he's a good actor as well.
>> Oh, [ __ ] Yeah. Yeah. Oh, he Yeah. Yeah.
He's brilliant in those different uh personalities for sure.
>> And he takes his shirt off at one point.
So, I was quite enjoying that bit.
>> You get paid extra if you play two roles.
>> Oh, >> I don't know. But he played 12. So, >> yeah, he played like 12 different personalities. So >> the answer is uh no, which is why uh the people of um Monty Python got into a lot of trouble with a lot of the uh um a lot of the folks for because they had purposefully did a lot of roles for no reason.
>> And then um Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. that a lot of the unions came after them and went, "Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, wait, wait, wait, wait.
Stop. I understand what you're doing, but this is the movies." And um, shut up.
We can't We can't have that. And then Monty Python went, >> you've been doing this for the past 40 years, so shut up yourself. So, >> shut up by your face. Now um I know when the um when the BAFTA thing happened there was a lot of discourse about Tourett syndrome >> and that's a better question. Yeah.
Yeah. Yeah.
>> And a lot of people uh talking about fakers on that and fake ticks and um I know there's been a few people who I can I can't think of the person's name. I can picture them in my head but I can't think of the name who's been called out for being and I think proven to be faking it. Um yeah, did is yeah I mean I suppose the problem is a lot of people see these things you know reflected in movies and then they they go and do it the way the movies do it thinking oh this is a accurate portrayal of how it happens completely forgetting that there is absolutely nothing accurate about films >> ever.
>> Um if you're lucky they get the characters names right that's about it.
Um, and so people get a false idea of what the particular disability is. For example, the trope of blind people who have extra special senses and the rest of their senses to compensate for being blind.
>> Because as we all know that blind Dave is in fact dead.
>> Yes. He fights crime in his spare time.
>> Oh my god. They're digging up the road outside my house. I may have to uh >> see. See, I can't hear that. That's his special hearing. Oh, no. No, you It's louder than you guys. I I'm going to have to turn on uh noise filtering. I think >> I think I can hear something.
>> You know what? That That's beautiful.
That That sums up everything. That says that >> Christian sent 10 gift memberships.
>> Wow.
>> Tristan, stop donating.
Going to be like taking um >> wages are going to the channel at this stage.
>> He said that the membership counts. So >> yeah, it's it's the same. Thank you so much, mate. I really appreciate it.
>> We might get more people watching the others then.
>> From how you described it. Yeah. Yeah.
The um >> you changed your name to Ringo. I just noticed.
>> Well, well done.
>> Well done.
>> I should put that in the thumbnail.
Joined by Ringo.
And I'll put a photo of your I put a screenshot of your actual face so that people if anybody thinks you're actually Ringo, it's their own fault.
>> But yes, people faking uh disabilities.
I mean, when I was a kid, I don't know if I would say I I didn't fake things, but I did. I would walk around the house with my eyes closed or, you know, I would I tried to learn a bit of sign language more because >> it's the same thing.
>> Not quite the same thing, but it's the closest I can get to this sort of thing.
I mean, the reason I did it was to feel special because I was already being singled out for, you know, being wrong by society standards. So, I figured I should at least, you know, pretend like not pretend, but like, you know, experience what it would be like to have a real disability to, you know, like have a >> reason to be.
She actually for shooting arrows.
>> I I need to I need >> Don't give all away Dave. Don't give all away Dave's secrets. God, >> I need to point out the greatest um >> Hello Katrina >> baker ever with when it comes to um disabilities, if you could call it that.
And uh it is the uh Nelson Mandela uh funeral uh >> Oh, the Mandela effect.
>> Oh my. No, no, not the Nelson Mandela effects. No. When Mel Nelson Mandela died and it was his funeral, there was one guy who said, >> "Oh, >> yes, I can do I can do I can do hand signals that say >> I can sign. Yes, I can I can do sign language. Sure, I can do sign language.
It's all good.
>> All is good." And that one guy managed to go all the way up to the top. M >> and interpret interpret to the entire world >> the eulogy or whatever >> eulogy >> of Nelson Mandela's funeral.
And he and he did the whole thing.
>> Yeah.
>> With no with no knowledge of any of >> he knew like three signs apparently and kept repeating them over and over with a bunch of gibberish.
>> Yeah. and and that that those were basically uh cigarettes.
>> I think one of them was pizza >> something else >> and something else. Yeah.
>> And that and I will have to say I do I I don't want to encourage this anyone like this person but my god >> at the same time you kind of got to respect the fake it till you make it mentality.
>> Kind of I don't want to but I kind of have to respect that.
>> Yeah. I mean, talk about bullshitting your way bullshitting your way to the top.
>> I mean, look, the the job market's really nasty right now. You need something.
>> Who was the the streamer? Um, >> the guy in the wheelchair.
>> Yeah, >> wheelchair. Let me Google that.
>> Wheel. Yeah. And like he thought he'd finished streaming and he jumped out of his chair.
Uh that was Zillian OP >> known as >> as it's blouch.
>> No, Zillian OP claimed to be paralyzed, bound to wheelchair, accidentally stood up. I have seen that clip a few times and it it's it's mildly hilarious every time when he realizes what he's done.
But yeah, I mean it's it's interesting the whole like faking disabilities for um for views, for clicks or whatever, especially because, you know, so many people I know who are genuinely disabled, you know, a they'll be the first people to tell you you don't want this life. And two, um I think part of the annoyance comes from like, yeah, you didn't have to go through being bullied as a kid. And that's uh if you knew what what it was actually like, you wouldn't be pretending for you wouldn't actually want this. Like it comes with uh a whole package of [ __ ] >> I think that portion of all of our streams basically boils down to, hey kids, don't be a [ __ ] >> A little bit. A little bit. I mean, it's good good life advice.
>> Yeah. Um, >> I I will kill I will tell any child of that.
>> But uh >> I'll strap them down if I if need be. I shut up. You're right. You don't be a [ __ ] And then I'll I'll off you go.
Yeah. I think the only other like the question of course is it are they faking or are they just presenting in a way that is not the norm for that because I know also a lot of disabled people get called fakers when you know they genuinely do have >> I have been accused of faking in the past.
>> Well, we all know you're ask No, no, no.
Tell us tell us more. I I'm very very interested. I used to get a when I worked behind the bar, I used to get accused of faging all the time.
>> That doesn't surprise me.
>> I mean, who Nobody pulls a pint that well when they're cighted? Who doesn't that WELL WHEN THEY'RE BLIND? Come on.
>> It's kind of a running joke in the house. I'll do something. And someone, how did you do that? And yes, damn it, you've caught me. 38 years. 38 years for uh just for personal independence payments. Busted. H uh flushed Phoenix is in the chat and yes, they had they say they had their first migra migraine around seven or eight. Um their current attack started January 2017. The fight they've had to go through um to get a diagnosis and uh flushed al Flush Phoenix also makes the point genuinely disabled people tend to fake health far more than than we should.
>> Yeah, for sure. Yeah. Um, I've I've spent a bit of time around Terry who uh has certain disabilities and yes, stop it.
>> Terry, stop that.
>> Yes. Oh, yeah. Terry say, "It sucks when you carefully stand up to grab something from your wheelchair and some ignorant [ __ ] calls you a faker."
>> Here's the thing. I I I Yeah, I I hear the I hear it cuz um I'm going to and Dave, please please tell me to shut up any time in which I'm getting this wrong. If um I have a situation when if I'm working behind the bar and all I can deal with is just shapes, mild shapes and certain lights that are about me. But I know the place around me. And I go, "Okay, yeah, that'll be fine. That'll be fine." And someone says, "Hey, you're a faker." And and I'm told, "Hey, just just blindfold yourself just to prove yourself."
>> Yeah. It could Yeah.
>> wouldn't be at all. I would be left going, "So, you're just destroying the the last hope that I have of any form of communication site." Okay, sure, whatever. I mean, you're making you make you're going to make the drink worse, but sure, I can do something for you. I imagine I imagine most most people have worked a shift in a bar at one some point or another.
>> Yeah.
>> Tristan, you ever been a bar?
>> I have a bar person. Yeah.
>> When you get when you get used to it, you don't look anyway, do you? Cuz you're talking to the person.
>> Yeah.
>> If you're good at So you you know you cited people say a lot of store by eye contact.
You sight your people.
>> I I I say it's uh sight impaired as in impaired by having sight. You know, light dependent folk, >> which I mean, you're not wrong, >> Dave. If I if I ran a a bar on the side, I would uh I would respect you beyond belief.
>> But only if he ran a bar on the side. He doesn't respect you now. Only if he ran a bar on the side would he respect you.
>> I don't think I could do it anymore. I used to I mean when I when I did the PA I used to get there at 6:00 in the morning when we first opened the White Heart >> because because it had been a trouble venue in the past, >> right?
>> They only granted us the license if the DPS, which is designated a premises supervisor, >> was was there all the hours they were open.
>> Was that you?
>> Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. That was me, the licensing. So, I'd get I'd leave >> We're going to make the blind guy the designated supervisor.
>> So, I'd leave at uh 6:00 in the morning, get there about half 6.
>> We'd open for breakfast at 8.
>> [ __ ] >> And then I'd be there till during the week. We close at 11. You hang around and have a drink with everybody after, you >> know, your staff. You buy them a pint or whatever. And then and then >> lock up, go home, might get in about 1:00. Wasn't tired because, you know, >> yeah, >> I hadn't eaten yet. So, I for probably two years I I survived on maybe three hours sleep a night and I was constantly drunk.
>> Good man. Good man.
Um, >> yeah, it's uh it's definitely a young person's gig.
>> Oh, isn't it for Yeah. Or an older person on a [ __ ] ton of cocaine >> or a rich but you know if you can pay people that's true.
>> No one can afford cocaine these days.
What are you talking about?
>> My god. Where do you think the the home moose? Yeah. Come on.
But yeah, it's uh it's that fine line between are they faking or are they just not presenting in a a standard way because you know some disabilities do present in non-standard ways and that makes it difficult to track down >> to get a diagnosis I should say. Yeah.
>> The worst of the normies. Like I have a dis a radar key for the disabled toilet.
>> Oh yeah, the disabled toilet.
>> I'm aware of that. Yeah. and I'll go and use the disabled toilet and I come out.
There are other reasons as well, but I come out and people are like, "Well, you just walked out." Like, "Yeah, >> expect you to crawl."
>> Yeah. Okay.
>> What are you expecting from me? Like um I have a friend who has a a colostomy bag. I don't think they're called that anymore, but uh stor bag, >> right? Um, and they get all the time like, "Well, it doesn't look like you needed to be in there." Like, >> there isn't there isn't there isn't a bin for me to throw my bag of [ __ ] in in the normal toilet.
>> I think it's usually not clean, you know? It's not something It's essentially you have an open wound on your >> No, it's true.
>> Stomach.
>> That's true.
>> Uh, Nikki has donated another $5. Thank you, Nikki.
>> Oh, thank you very much, Nikki. Um, I think it's like the problem with the the the disabled toilet is the problem is because the sign for it is a person in a wheelchair. People assume it's for people in wheelchairs.
>> They don't realize it's for, you know, anybody who, you know, needs space and a private room and potentially needs help get someone getting off.
>> You know what it is? Nobody else's [ __ ] business.
>> Well, that too. I mean, that is obviously the main point. That's the most important thing that people don't uh get. Yeah. It's it's no one else's business and yet >> uh it's suddenly everyone's business if they they they feel like they need to involve themselves.
>> Um >> Club Jed, sorry, quickly just to answer your question. Uh being completely blind, I'm very attached to my light perception. Um >> yeah, I was I was just going to ask that.
>> I'd be uh I'd be more annoyed without it.
>> Yeah, exactly. Yeah. Yeah. What whatever you got. Yeah. Yeah, I got it. I figured it out. No, that underneath it says um I guess you wouldn't know. It's a dumb question. It's not a dumb question at all.
>> No, >> there was um also and I I am I'm I I don't want to perceive myself as uh disabled, but I do have a cane in my bag just on the off chance that I do need to use it. I have had a um I have had an operation on my right foot uh years ago, but every now and then my foot doesn't work. So, I'll have to pull out the cane and go um so I will have to be a Yeah, I'm I'm I am going to have to be that >> Phoenix. That is a brutal Christmas shift.
>> Yeah. Yes, I I want to share out um OG Katrina's story because this is hilarious.
>> Uh OG Katrina says, "About a decade ago, I worked for a company called Industries for the Blind. Still missed that job.
One of the best moments was when the power went out, total dark, not even emergency lights. So my friend Harry, who was completely blind, stood in the middle of the walkway and yelled, "I got this. Follow me." And of course, he let us all out safely.
>> I was like, "Blind person, NOW IT'S MY TIME TO SHINE. I've got >> for another for another epic story along those lines, check out my interview with Michael Hingson, the blind guy whose guide dog >> escorted lots of people out of the north tower when it was hit.
>> Yes, in the World Trade Center.
>> That is awesome.
>> Yeah. So, Nick Nikki, that that's that's right. Um >> somebody It's not something you would see.
>> Yeah. Yeah. and they could send um she had an ex who had a catheter, needed a catheter every time they pee.
>> Again, you you know, it's they they fold up small now, the catheterss, you you can um >> you could easily carry one in your pocket, but it's not something you'd want to do your rhinyl, you know.
>> Yeah. Yeah. It's uh yeah, definitely something you want to um you want to sort of keep private, but um >> that's the problem, isn't it? Some people expect, "Oh, you're disabled.
You've got to be missing both of your legs." So, I can see it obviously.
>> Yeah, that whole invisible disability thing. Um, I mean, people are starting to become more aware at least.
>> That is nice. Yeah.
>> To an extent, but it's slowgoing, much like the disabled people themselves. Oh, no.
>> I can SAY THAT BECAUSE I HAVE DISABLED FRIENDS.
>> YES, I have read Day of the Triffits. I I long I long for that day.
>> You'll all be sorry there.
>> I should know the story, but I've not read it.
>> Um >> uh basically the I'll give you a quick spoilers. Spoilers.
>> Spoilers.
>> There's a guy in hospital who's had eye surgery and he's all bandaged up and of a nighttime there's these huge flashes in the sky. Um I can't remember what it is but like a meteor something >> and everybody's out looking at it cuz you know sheep. Um and they all go blind.
>> Ah well there you go.
>> So the next day nobody comes to him in his hospital. So because you know all the staff have gone blind >> so uh he sort of takes off his bandages >> and goes off.
>> The sighted man in a blind man's world is king.
>> Yes. Goes off. Well, kind of. There there's um him and the other people who didn't see it obviously and the the already blind, >> right?
>> Um who kind of do well. But >> there are these plants that somebody I think they were genetically modified somehow and they produce an oil that's used everywhere in the world. But they have um they can walk on their roots.
They sort of dig themselves out and they can shuffle along.
>> Okay.
>> And they have like a whip sting that kills people.
>> Um and there see the uh the newly blind fall victim to to the tripffids.
>> Ah see. So yes, that will be Dave's uh time to come.
No, no version of uh of film has uh actually successfully reinterpreted uh War of the Worlds.
>> I will say the best version of War of the Worlds has been um the uh the League of Extraordinary Gentlemen volume two.
>> My god, >> I haven't seen that comic. I'll uh I'll have to watch that one day. Um, I can usually just see the moon as a light in the sky. Not >> I was just about to ask you about that shape.
>> Can you So, you can't see that it's round.
>> Okay.
>> I'm going to give uh I'm going to give Lauraai uh war uh the uh League of Extraordinary Gentlemen volume two to uh to to read. And I've got to say I really want that to be a movie. Not the first one. The first one was terrible. And Sean Conry is dead now. And that's probably a good thing.
>> Is he? I didn't know that.
>> Oh. Oh, he's been dead for a while.
>> Oh, sorry to uh break the >> Oh, no. We've just broke Oh, no. Oh.
>> Oh, sorry. Sorry, darling.
>> Talking talking of those who have uh passed. I've had um found out today that one of our long-term pub regulars died today.
>> Oh, that's a shame.
>> I'm sorry. RIP Ginger Martin.
>> Rip to the goat.
>> Yeah. Rip to the goat.
>> Um, >> don't say G >> Club Jed has uh >> not that Ginger. You're safe for now.
>> I was going to say I was going to say >> not Ginger Wild Hearts. Different Ginger.
>> Ginger Wildart.
>> Not that one. Not him yet. Uh, Club Jed has raised an interesting point that we discussed in a previous uh episode.
Dave. Uh, Club Jed says, "When I don't have my glasses on, it's horrible and I get a massive headache, but I'm super reliant on my glasses. I would be totally screwed if I lost them when I without." So, Club Jed, aren't you saying that you're blind without your glasses?
>> Michael is in the chat.
>> Michael is also in the chat.
>> Yeah. Can I fake some disabilities?
>> Uh, I don't think you need to fake it, darling.
>> We're meant to be doing We are. We're meant to be doing a dissing disabilities only in the UK one day. Yeah.
>> No, we'll get to that.
>> Yeah.
>> Um, >> you should have come on, Michael. You should have come on.
>> Yes.
>> I will say I uh I have been given my uh my first reading glasses quite recently and uh >> he was very grumpy that they were effective.
>> I was grumpy that they worked and I thought, "Oh my god, I'm not making this up. This actually works."
All right, fine. I have my glasses right here.
>> Dave putting on his blind man glasses again.
>> My Stevie specs.
>> Yes.
>> Stevie specs activate.
>> Ah, don't need them today. That's going to give me a headache. Some I sometimes I have to wear them because I have a headache, but if I wear them and I don't need to, I get a headache.
[ __ ] great. H >> yeahird I I always tend to like you know when I'm having a bad day I always say to myself well could be worse you could have the six million things that several of your other friends have you have no right to complain about period pain when you have friends who have endometriosis and they just never seem to stop bleeding or whatever.
>> Well no like suffering is relative. I don't buy I don't buy into this. Oh, you don't get to moan cuz someone has it worse cuz >> Yeah. Also, you know, just you you say um I don't know.
>> Easy, Michael.
>> White person, what is it? White person privilege problems. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.
It's still problems.
>> You've got no It's all right. You can still whine about it. It's >> it's still >> I saw somebody on Reddit sort of say it um put it into good terms. It was would you tell like somebody not to be happy because somebody has it better than them?
>> Yeah, exactly.
>> You know that kind of reverse reverse it. And I was like that's a good point but I still feel guilty for moaning when I'm >> My sister managed to go back to work with a ruptured spleen, a punctured lung and broken ribs. I have no right to be complaining about >> I'm straight that >> my legs being sore cuz I walked up a hill.
>> You have no right to a complain and b be happy.
>> Shut up.
>> Why why are you sorrying Nikki? You have nothing to be sorry about.
>> Yes.
>> Nothing at all.
>> Or are you just saying sorry in general to Dave for being Dave?
>> It's okay.
>> That's not her fault either.
>> It's okay.
>> Hey uh Laura live. What's this fantastic painting behind you?
>> Oh, this fantastic painting behind me that was made by a fantastic painter.
>> Yeah.
>> Uh whose name is Oh, what's his name? Um Oh, was it Anishkapor?
>> Yes, it's Anishkapore.
>> Uh painted it.
>> So, Anish Kapoor. That's yours, right?
>> That is your painting.
>> No, no, no. This one. No, I want I want >> I understand now, Nikki. Sorry. Yes, she >> I want that painting. Oh, sorry. Sorry.
My >> friend passed away. Yes.
>> Oh, right. Sorry. Thank you, Lee.
>> But yeah, thank you. I appreciate that.
>> That's uh Mary Cury.
>> Oh, yeah.
>> And I love that painting. That's >> I love that that painting. The way he managed to get the vial to glow phoenix. Never dismiss your suffering.
It's just as valid as anybody else.
>> We're talking about paintings and Dave is like, I don't care about this conversation cuz I can see them.
>> Shut up. I'm talking about my Yeah, >> it's fine. I'm teasing.
>> Um, but yes, they were both done by Alexander Devport. His name is Alexander >> Deport.
>> Uh, anyway, where were we? Back to the subject at hand.
>> H, Michael, it's cool.
>> Oh, Michael.
>> Katie says, "I'm mean to Dave about his blindness." I mean, to be fair, we're all kind of mean to Dave about his blindness, >> but that's kind, you know, that that's >> that's kind of the stick where we're at.
That's that's >> Yeah, that's >> Yeah, that's where we are.
>> I wouldn't I wouldn't dox anybody else's name in the chat like my Michael.
Michael won't want to be anonymous. He's like, "Yeah, it's Michael.
>> [ __ ] it.
>> You can That's all right.
>> Everybody, >> come on. Take me on everyone. I I'm I'm in a fighting mood tonight." Oh, >> actually, here's here's a fun question that relates to the topic at hand. Is Dave, what are some of the most stupidest things people have told you to cure your blindness?
>> Praying. Is that you haven't got like turmeric or just praying?
>> Put a crystal in each eye. I don't know.
>> No, it's usually I'll pray for you.
Please don't.
>> Usually praying. Yeah, that that says more than you.
>> Nobody ever offers to sacrifice like a >> pig to Satan for you. No, it's all this praying.
>> That's the most boring thing ever. That just says everything. You just >> Somebody sacrifice a goat so Dave can get his blindness fixed.
>> Here's the thing. Are you praying for stuff? That shows how boring you are.
>> I I'm not kidding. You You b You're praying for something? No. You're boring. Shut up.
>> Do you think God's listening? Do you think I'm listening? No. Shut up.
>> Oh, you're God now, are you?
>> I am God.
>> I thought my dad was God.
>> No, I'm God. No. No. I'm God.
>> I shall be back in a moment.
>> Okay.
>> I need to go and make my way.
>> No, I need to I need to cure your blindness or something.
You don't need to cure it.
>> No, >> but I'm I'm God. I'm God. I need to cure something.
>> Christian, do you have any updates on the uh the Arteimus 2 crew?
>> Oh, yeah.
>> I know. They came back.
>> They're coming back. Oh, they're back.
>> They are back. They've been back for few weeks now.
>> Oh, okay. Sorry.
Yeah, that shows how how far but >> I' I I've gone >> Oh. Oh. Oh, look. They Oh, they're back.
Oh, all right. Cool.
>> Any updates on the next mission that they're planning to do or are they keeping up with that?
>> They're hoping to do it by the end of next year.
>> Okay. And that's the one that's actually going to land. No, this is the this is the boring one. It's not even going to go to the moon.
>> Oh, okay.
>> It's just going to orbit Earth, >> but they're testing docking the capsule to the vehicle that will land on the moon.
>> Oh, okay. And testing the toilet again.
>> And testing the toilet again because it didn't doesn't last very long, apparently.
>> No. All of this sounds kind of stupid and boring, but the fact is um when the first shuttle went off to actually land on a moon with actual people um there was no guarantee that they would actually come back.
>> Well, I mean there's no guarantee that any of them will come back really.
>> Well, no, no, of course not. But, uh the the this is why they're doing a whole bunch of new tests to make sure that they actually do this correctly. this time because back then they they really needed a position to say, "Yeah, uh we are better than the Ruskies." Yeah, absolutely. And now there's not much of a reason to actually do this.
They just need to just do it for reasons.
>> So, >> well, we're trying to beat China, aren't we?
>> We're trying to beat China now. but is there's no direct reason. So >> racism.
>> Racism. Yeah. So because we don't do racism anymore. Uh we need to do a whole bunch of tests instead. So this is why uh we're doing launch after launch after launch. So to make sure that uh you know we do this in comparison to back in the days when oh yeah we could actually launch a nuclear missile instead. So instead of doing that, >> I I said that the other day that how come it's taken them so many times to get there when they just went and landed.
>> Well, I pointed out that actually they didn't they did was it Apollo 14 that landed on the moon?
>> Apollo 13.
>> 13.
>> Apollo 11.
>> 11.
>> 13.
>> Was it thinking of 13?
>> It took him lots of goes.
>> 13's the one that went horribly wrong.
>> Right. That's how I'm thinking of it.
That's the movie. Yeah. Apollo 11, >> right? That's why I'm thinking of it.
Um, >> we we literally saw an episode of Classic Clutch's farm just tonight about the cap that he had with Apollo.
>> Oh, that's right. Yeah, >> they went to the moon.
>> I think the difference between now and when they did it in ' 69 is that OSHA exists now.
>> So, they have to do so many more tests for health and safety reasons. They can't just send them up in a rocket with some duct tape and carbon f inanimate carbon rods and hope it all works out.
They have to actually do all these OSHA tests. If we if we rewind a little bit, um to be fair, >> they sent up um astronauts thinking no do not knowing what the hell would was going to happen and they infections in their nasal cavity because they were re reingesting their [ __ ] basically when they uh came back and just started to Yeah.
That that's basically the the beginning and end of it. They while they were up there, they were reingesting everything that was in their atmosphere, which was basically a bubble of which is basically my room and that room. That's it.
>> I had no idea they left a bag of um um >> moon >> scat behind. Moon poo. Moon poo.
>> Moon poo. Yeah, I I I can believe it.
>> I had no idea that I never really thought about it.
>> They left behind a bag, a bogy, and some [ __ ] >> It just makes me think >> golf balls. Yeah, lots of golf balls. It makes me think about um all the [ __ ] that's on Everest and all the dead bodies.
>> Yeah, same concept. Same concept.
Absolutely.
>> But uh yeah, that's >> you get it. You understand it. Yeah.
>> Our cat wants to come inside, Laurel.
Our cat wants to come inside.
>> Literally, >> I watched an interview with Tim Peak a while ago and he because they go into schools and stuff and they said, "What's the the uh the question you get asked the most?" And he's like, "How astronauts go to the toilet?" Like all the science things you get asked him and uh is >> Yeah. It's it's always it's always going to be the question especially by kids like you know how do blind people know when they finished wiping?
>> I've done two videos on it. I'm not answering it anymore.
>> Videos where the astronaut come back from space and they're doing the interview. He's got his cup, his bottle of water, whatever it is, and he just lets go of it in the air. That's what he's used to doing. Yeah. Carries on talking and then he's like goes to pick it back up and it's like >> instead of looking down, he looks straight up to try and find it. Things float up in space.
>> Oh, that's hilarious. Oh, that's awesome. Have you seen the footage of the guy who smuggled a gorilla costume on board the ISS?
>> Yeah.
>> And he managed to wear it as like a Halloween prank or something and he like chasing them through the the capsule.
It's so funny.
I don't know how he managed it, but man, I can see it. It's on YouTube. Google astronaut screams for nine minutes.
>> Ah, Kam has donated two Canadian dollars. Thank you.
>> Thank you very much, Kam.
>> Anyhow, indeed.
But, uh, yeah, they they have some fun up there. I'll give them that.
If >> they do some great videos of like um for kids showing things like how they how they eat, how they have how they wash how they wash. I saw the video of how they wash and that's just amazing because they they ring out the cloth and but the water doesn't like go anywhere.
>> Doesn't go anywhere. It just turns into a >> Oh, it's so cool.
>> Amazing. It's but at the same time it's kind of it's all it's it's it's borderline horror movie because it doesn't it just >> Yeah. It's like the abyss. It clings to you, is it? I don't know. I don't know if I like that.
>> Laura, Laura, darling, darling, Laura.
>> Uh, we we've just received um uh two Canadian. Does that mean >> Yes.
>> Does that mean that I get to do my uh Canadian joke?
>> I don't know.
>> Is it $2 worth of joke?
>> Well, you could do $2 worth of the joke.
I always think it's worth $2 worth of >> It's about two cents worth of the >> Do you know which joke I'm talking about?
>> I can't remember which joke you're talking about, but I'm sure you start telling it.
>> Madam, >> here we go. Settle in, folks. No one tells a joke.
>> Gather around children. I shall tell you a tale. This is going to be amazing.
Right. a Scottish man uh decides I'm going to visit my Canadian uh cousin >> in Canada. I'm going to go over I'm going to chill out with them. It's a long flight. It's a redeye flight. It takes a a good long several hours and they land in Canada. It's but it's it's at nighttime. So they go to sleep. They say, "Okay, cool." They wake up the next day. It's a beautiful Canadian morning.
And they look he this this this Scottish dude looks out upon this amazing beautiful Canadian landscape full of snow. It's a beautiful day. He sees this creature he's never seen before. Oh my god, what is this? I said, "Oh, I don't I've never seen this before." So he says, "I I know. I'll talk to my cousin." Goes down sees go downstairs.
He sees his Canadian uh cousin making breakfast. He says, "I WAS I SEE THIS great creature. I don't know what it is.
He's got four legs and he's got these horns. I don't know. It's very strange or is it a very funny thing? I don't know what's going on. She's very strange. And what the hell's going on with us?
With your granny. And his cousin says, "Oh, well, here in Canada we call that a moose." That's a moose. That's a moose.
If that's a moose, I'd hate to see your cats.
You made Dave laugh. There you go.
>> Old ones are always >> You're welcome everyone. You're welcome.
If you like that, I think you should donate to Blind.
If >> you enjoyed that joke, >> I heard the one about the vampire bat.
>> Oh, do tell.
>> He comes back to comes back to the cave and his face is covered in blood and uh all the other bats were like, "Oh, wow.
Where'd you find all that?" He said, "I don't want to talk about it." Oh, come on. Share the love. Where where are you getting all this? He they pester him and pester him and eventually he's like, "Fine.
Follow me." So they fly off and they're flying for ages over the trees and mountains and everybody's like, "Is it much further?" He's like, "Yeah, it is.
It's a long way away." They keep on following him and eventually like the sun's on the horizon starting to come up and eventually they see this huge oak tree. He says, "You see that tree?" They go, "Yeah." So, well, I didn't.
Oh, >> that's great.
Flushed Phoenix says, "As a Doric speaking Scott, that was quite accurate, Alex." So, there you go.
Oh my god, that's terrician. Do you have any bad jokes you want to share with the class?
He's going through his file of bad jokes. Which one can he get away with saying on YouTube that will not get us demonetized or banned?
>> Yeah. Quickly running through the corridors.
>> Can't tell that one. Can't tell that one.
>> Terry said, "For a moment there, I thought you were describing how disabled people eat and wash, not >> Yes, I saw >> astronauts.
I've seen Terry eat, but I haven't seen them wash."
And yeah, big shock that they they eat like normal people relatively.
>> I saw a Tik Tok the other day of blind woman saying that one of the hardest things she finds to do as a blind person is use cutlery properly and I just I can't I can't relate to that.
>> I drop [ __ ] all the time and I unless I'm in a very posh setting I'll just pick [ __ ] up sometimes. I was going to say you just use your hands.
>> But like I learned how to use a knife and fork when I was a child.
>> M I I suppose that comes down to was she born blind or did she become blind? Cuz I could imagine it being more difficult if you become blind because you're overthinking it a lot.
>> Yeah. Like I I I really do struggle with the things that people need to look to do.
>> Yeah.
>> If you see what I mean.
>> Yeah. Yeah. like just muscle memory tying my shoelaces and stuff. Apparently people have to watch themselves tie their shoelaces. Waste of time >> a little bit. Yeah. I I just skip it out. I just have boots that zip up. So, you know, >> just um >> slip on shoes. So, >> but yeah. No, it's um >> or eating in the dark with cutlery.
>> Yeah.
Eating in the dark sounds like the most depressing thing ever, but no. No, no, it's not. Just >> give me Give me >> It makes me think of a Wednesday 13 song. Sitting in the dark, drinking my own blood.
>> It's the most >> Yeah. No, it's He's taking the piss out of out of Emos. I love Wednesday 13.
He's great. Um, but yeah, I mean, well, I was I think I can't remember what series it is, but there's like one of these crimesolving serieses where the premise of the episode is they're having like a sensory meal where they have to eat in the dark and of course they turn the lights off and somebody gets murdered and the rest of the episode is trying to solve who done it. But um it just sounds so pretentious and wankery and I'm like well Dave gets that sensory experience every [ __ ] meal.
>> Can we do a do that >> eating that restaurant >> eating beans out of a tin?
>> There's a restaurant um in London the name of which temporary.
>> I've been to London.
>> I've been there.
>> I've been to London too. I've I've even been to restaurants in London. The restaurant I want to go to in London is the one where everybody eats in the dark.
>> It's >> Oh, yeah. That's right. That is a thing.
That's a real thing.
>> Yeah. Yeah. It's run by it. It's all the servers are blind and >> Oh, I didn't know.
>> Everybody eats in the dark and you >> I bet it's bloody expensive. I'll say that.
>> Yeah. It's not prohibitively s you know >> mind restaurant London does le noir London that is >> Dan noir >> you don't say the yes it's Dan means in the dark in French >> dan noir >> dan noir uh I'm looking for does oh menu here we go if it doesn't have prices then we know oh it has prices >> it's a set it's a I thought it was a set price thing >> uh yes um When we get when we get to 4,000 subscribers, I'll go there and stream.
>> Be pretty epic.
>> Uh there's a >> chef's menu. You can have that for 105 quid.
>> Um >> or you can expensive, but it's not hugely expensive for London, is it?
>> No, I mean, you get a you get the three course set menu, starter, main course, and dessert for 68 quid with a glass of surprise wine. The surprise has me a little concerned.
>> Surprise wine is not You know what? It's blue none.
>> I'll tell you now.
>> Uh the two course set menu which is a starter and main course is £58 with a glass of surprise wine which is £67.
Just why is it surprise?
>> No. If you add the Sorry.
>> Oh, I see.
>> The normal price is 58. If you want a glass of surprise wine, it takes the total up to 67. Um but yes, visually impaired guide waiters will accompany you throughout this immersive experience full of surprises as and conviviiality.
>> That is genuinely interesting.
>> But um I I would prefer my uh six quid um rice and onions that I cook myself. I >> I I feel bad saying that, but I have other things to >> Fington. Where's Fington?
>> Michael's very excited about surprise wine.
>> I I you can very >> Will I film it? Yes. Uh okay.
>> Surprise wine is very easy to accommodate. Just just say to your mate, "Hey, look. See that Tesco's down there?"
>> Wine. No, >> me now. 5 minutes you'll have a surprise wine.
>> When's your birthday, Dave?
>> Uh, it's been already was >> Oh, no. I want to give you some surprise wine.
>> I did a I did a stream on my birthday.
>> Oh, that's right. You did.
>> Everyone was in hospital and >> That's right. Oh, right. I remember.
Yes. It was very very depressing birthday.
>> Was I Was I in I'm sorry.
>> I can't remember if you were or not. Uh What date was it?
>> Don't ask me the date. I don't remember.
>> I don't was in hospital. That's not nice.
>> But I vaguely remember. Okay, I can see where Fington is now on my my computer.
So I know is the location, the area further if we >> says we call that we >> Yes, that's what surprise wine is. It's alcoholic. We Oh, Club Jed has to run.
>> Got to run. Glad to be here. See you next time. Bye, club. Thank you for joining us.
>> Something tomorrow.
>> Hopefully, we shall see.
>> Yes. No, this is uh quite interesting.
I'm I'm very curious about this restaurant now. Explore other other sensory experiences.
>> Michael says there's one in Vancouver.
>> Oh, there you go.
uh wine tasting workshops and perfume discovery workshops.
>> Here's the thing. Um I'm looking at a photograph of one of the [ __ ] things that's given to I'm I'm saying [ __ ] I'm sorry. I don't I don't mean to say that. I I take that back. I'm sorry. I I'm I apologize. I 100% remove that. Uh here's the thing. The reason why I say [ __ ] is because um I'm looking at it and half of what I'm looking at are flowers.
flowers. You're not supposed to eat the flowers, I don't think.
>> No.
>> Yeah, you say that, but we're being put in the dark. I will eat the flowers if I'm put in the dark.
>> Yeah, he probably would.
>> He probably would.
>> I would.
>> I've eaten the occasional plate decoration before.
Makes me think of that episode of Futurramama where Leela lose her loses her eyesight and they go to the restaurant and she's actually eating the what she thinks is a salad and it's actually the the flowers in the middle of the table.
>> Yeah. See, the thing here's the thing. I have no sense of smell and uh everyone says that's a that's a horrible thing >> and I say no.
>> It's quite useful.
>> It is. I'm I'm not I'm not denying that.
I'm not denying it's useful. I'm just saying um >> does that I've always wanted to ask in anosmic if uh it affects your sense of taste but I suppose if you've never had >> the answer is smelling technically speaking no but saying that >> a lot of what people perceive as uh taste is in fact aromatic. Oh, like the scam water >> with the smell pods.
>> You mean tea? Ah, >> no. No.
>> Yes, I remember the scam water. I know what you're talking about.
>> It was a big YouTube sponsor thing for a while.
>> Um, and you get these >> It's a water bottle with a smell pod on top >> and everybody's like, >> "Oh, I heard about those." Yeah. Yeah.
Yeah.
>> It It tastes like you're drinking flavored water. And then Freaking Reviews got some and he was like, >> "No, it doesn't."
>> Yeah. I love freaking reviews. Go show him some love. He's good.
>> SP sells them now and they're freaking expensive as well.
>> Bloody hell. No. Just bloody hell.
>> Yeah, I saw him in the shop the other day.
>> Well, if if you're watching, the answer is yes.
That's >> See, see that's how Dave drives engagement and getting people to watch his channel is he refuses to answer his wife except on stream.
>> I don't know.
>> Get Get him this.
>> She's uh Yeah, edible flowers are totally a thing.
>> Yeah, ed Yeah, edible flowers are totally thing. I've had edible flowers.
Although edible flowers makes me think of that bit in Red Dwarf where um >> he's serving what Kiteon serves him space weevil and and >> the first bite is with the eye >> the eye. Yes. And then he lifts up the the thing and he's like what's this? And he pulls up like a dandelion or whatever and he's like carrot.
>> I don't eat raw vegetables. They're for people who exercise. And then he just ate eats the space weevil and has nothing.
>> Delicious. I didn't know we had any crunchy king prawn left. Yeah.
H Terry says they knew that the um scented water wouldn't work because as a child they experimented with trying to get themselves to drink water with nice smelling things and it didn't work then.
You know, Terry, that doesn't shock me that you've tried that.
I know you. That does not surprise me in the least.
>> There's very little you could do that would surprise me.
>> I used to drink so much water. Um >> I never used to. And then I went to the dentist and got the bill and went, "Okay, I need to stop drinking soda and start drinking more water."
>> I uh I um in the days in which in which I was uh working a lot, I drank a lot of water.
And now that I'm working again, all of a sudden I I'm drinking a lot of water, which says a lot about um my health and my sustenance. And I started drinking water.
>> Renrose.
>> Yes. Renrose lost their sense of smell when they had CO.
>> That sucks.
>> Do you want to hear my restaurant eating the table decoration story?
>> Oh, yes. Do tell.
>> Please do. Oh. Oh, there was Is it Is it like the same time in which my girlfriend at the time decided, "Oh, you know what we should do? What should we do? I've forgotten because I'm very drunk. Hold on. I'll figure it out eventually." Five minutes later. Okay, I've got an idea. I know what to do now.
See that pineapple over there? We should steal the pineapple. We should steal the pineapple. Yeah, we should have steal the pineapple. And then they stole the pineapple. And that's the end of the story. Go on, Dave.
>> Not sure I can live with this. I live with this man every day.
I uh yeah, I was camping in the New Forest with my then girlfriend who was also blind. And we went to a restaurant called The New Forest. In fact, >> ah original.
>> Do you're ever if you're ever in the area, I recommend it. Good food.
>> Hang on a sec. So you and your girlfriend, you're both blind.
>> Yeah. Yeah.
>> And you go to you're you're both in the forest and you go to a place that's called the new forest.
>> The new forest in I believe it's called >> the new So it's called the new forest in and the new forest >> is in the forest newest >> but it's different because of the spelling. You see the number of N's.
>> Yeah. Yeah. I I understand that bit.
>> Go on.
>> Do go on. So, I ordered a like a lamb shoulder thing, which I wouldn't normally order in a restaurant because it involves precision cutting.
Uh, but it was very very nice and except like the gar I was like, [ __ ] garnish isn't very nice. Uh, but I ate it anyway. And um when the waitress came back to clear our plates, she was like, "What happened to the plastic garnish?"
>> Well, funny story. And that's how Dave got microlastics before everyone else did.
>> If you put plastic stuff on the plates of the blind, you may not get it back.
>> No, Lauraai. Don't start thinking about things you could put on Dave's plates to make him meet. That's terrible. Bad Lauraai. Bad Lauraai.
>> Yeah. Um cris Christmas decorations have got a new a brand new um appreciation. I I think >> my mom always loves parsley to the point where they were having a school I think it was like parent teacher night um and for my sister's class and they were going around with like small sandwiches or something and apparently one of the the guys came up to mom and was like do you want a a sandwich Mrs. Brown? And she said, "Oh, no, but I'll I'll take a bit of parsley." And my sister, being a teenager, as all teenagers, tried to fall tried to sink through the floor and die because her mother's not eating the sandwich, but she's eating the [ __ ] garnish.
Mom loves parsley. Anytime I have parsley and I'm out with mom, I'm like, I just automatically just put on her plate and she loves it.
>> Is absolutely terrible. Here's the thing with I used to live next when I was a child. I live I lived next door to this uh this kid. We were the best of mates.
Here's the thing. Their parents decided to just grow parsley. I don't know why.
They just grew parsley and it became a gigantic bush of par. We We don't think about parsley as a big bush. That's what it was. It was a gigantic bush of parsley.
>> And I thought, "Oh, we can eat that.
Cool." And we just of course every now and then just went num num. But of course parsley's grotesque and so we would just out uh which was genuinely funny because if you spit parsley out it is the the most vibrant green you could ever imagine.
>> So you can imagine children plus a big pile of ammunition.
and just I I'm going to leave your imagination up to that.
>> And that's that's how Alex discovered modern art.
>> That's how I discovered modern art.
Yeah.
>> My granny did had a similar thing with um rosemary in her garden. She planted a little thing to but by the time she died there was a huge forest of rosemary.
We used to have in Canada, we had a a vegetable garden and in the bottom of the garden and um God, mom tried so hard to kill that rhubarb. Every year she'd go out and she'd dig it up and every year somehow it grew back. One of my few memories of Canada is her basically bent over this rhubarb plant trying to pull it up by the roots and swearing and just just cursing it because it grew so well.
And that's my rhubarb story. Oh god, I'm turning into Alex. Although my parent my dad's very my dad has a chili tree and dear god, this thing's massive and the chilies he gets off it. The problem is he doesn't really do enough with them cuz like there's so many. And it's like he's made chili oil a few times and he cooks with them and that's about it. And it's like okay, but here we have this literal tree with literal massive amounts of chilies on it. What are we going to do with them? We don't have enough people to give them to.
>> Oh, well, Terry suggesting mom should have given us sticks of rhubarb uh to the kids with a bowl of sugar.
>> Nah, cook. My grandkids did. My grandkids, >> my uh my grandparents did. Um, back in the days they all they did was if there was some rhubarb, you just say, "Oh, I've got some rhubabb now. I guess I'm going to just stick it on in some sugar and go nom nom nom." And like >> I love rhubarb. No one craves rhubarb anymore.
>> That is very true. And there's a reason for that. And it's a bit weird.
Speaking of uh things and food you shouldn't eat, flushed Phoenix has said when they made wedding cakes, their handover sheet to the venue/bride came with an exact count of posy picss and dowels per layer and exact instructions on how to remove them.
>> One of the uh bigger trends at the moment is um face smashing into cakes.
>> So somebody blows up the candle and then somebody else smashes the face into the cake.
that's been around for a while and >> well I mean apparently it's like a a Mexican tradition and it's become more of a big thing especially since like Tik Tok and [ __ ] >> and um apparently there have been a few instances of people >> uh getting facial injuries and eye injuries because they weren't aware >> wasting cake >> well they're wasting cake but also you know there's like um toothpicks and dowels and and >> all that sort of things and then like the person doesn't know and then smashes the face in And then it's like, "Oh, well, now I have a toothpick in my eyeball. Thank you."
>> You shouldn't be such an idiot.
>> Well, no, but somebody else is pushing their head into it, not themselves. So, >> guys, don't push your significant other's face into your wedding cake.
Just don't do that.
>> It's a great way to ruin the honeymoon.
>> Straight to the hospital.
>> Yeah.
>> Eye patch on your honeymoon.
Also, I've seen I've seen some I've seen some amazing um videos on uh Tik Tok of just a quick There you go. and then a quick smash away of the of the cake and then just silence >> and everyone going well what oh okay >> the cake is a lie.
>> And I'm everyone going well what do we do now? Well, I'm left going, I didn't marry this person. I'm going to go over here to the the free >> free bar.
>> I'm I'm good. You're I'm good.
>> Yeah, this is a you problem.
>> This is a you problem. I'm I'm over here. Have fun, guys. Uh >> yeah, by the way, your lawyer's over there. Your lawyer is over there. See you.
Apparently, it is an indicator of um if the marriage will last is if you smash your if you smash the cake or not.
>> I 100% agree with that.
>> Yeah. No, I I don't >> I don't know how much wedding cake costs. Well, mine didn't cost anything because my mom made it, but you know.
>> Oh, that's cool.
>> I used >> Yeah. No, they're they're quite expensive.
>> I used to make cakes. I used to make cakes um in um in a custom way. Um, I was uh >> custom.
>> Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I used to make them, you know, cartoon figures and stuff all like that.
>> You never made me a cake.
>> I was just about to say I know what's going to happen.
>> What do you want me to do? You want me to make I'll make you >> You got to make a cake before Star Wars day. That's what you got to do.
>> Uh, quick quick uh thing. Uh Star Wars day is the same day as my um as my uh the day of uh my my my mortgage >> mortgage renewal.
>> My each day each time my mortgage renewal I will always remember it because it is Star Wars day.
>> You should speak to my brother. He's a mortgage advisor. He might >> Oh well there you go. Getting the connections.
Where were you a year ago now?
>> But it's not your birthday anymore, Lauraai. What are we going to do? I will I'm more than happy to make a cake for you.
>> No, I don't know if we'd have time.
>> No, I don't think so. I It's a >> I was not in a good headsp space to make you a birthday cake to be fair.
>> Well, that's fine. 15 years ago, a basic three tier cake would start at 300 for plain with basic ribbon. And that was 15 years ago.
>> Yikes. Yeah.
Uh, Flushed Phoenix made their cake.
Terry's chef chef bestie made their cakes.
>> Here's the thing. I I would not know how to deal with it now.
>> Um, I would probably just do what I could with a whole bunch of frosting. I don't I I I honestly do not get I would not charge anyone for a cake made by Alexander Devport. Not no one. That's not his area of expertise.
>> Yeah, I have no expertise in in that. If you want a cake done by me, I will do it for free. Sure.
>> Free of charge. If you think >> I don't have any free >> if you I'm just hearing every you're offering to make everybody a cake for free at the moment.
>> I know.
>> No, free of charge. Trist, >> if you think if you think out there on uh in in TV land, if you think that's a bargain, it is not. I love that we can trigger Dave so easily.
>> It's a bit now. I have Dave.
>> It is. Well, it is a bit of a bit. Yes.
Tristan, have you ever baked a cake?
>> Uh, I have baked cakes. Um, cakes with special ingredients.
>> Oh, do tell.
>> In Minecraft.
>> I see. Minecraft cakes.
>> Minecraft cakes. I'm aware of Minecraft cakes. Yeah.
Good old Minecraft cake.
>> Three. Three bits of wheat, two bits of sugar, and one bit of milk, I think. I can't remember.
>> Wow. Phoenix Flushed Phoenix did their entire wedding on £1,500, including their wedding dress 11 years ago.
>> That is impressive.
>> Well done.
>> My mom made her own wedding dress.
>> It's wrapped up. It's It's bundled up in a suitcase somewhere in their their attic.
My wedding suit doesn't fit me anymore.
It's far too big.
>> Well, yeah. Mom can't get back in her wedding dress, and dad sure as [ __ ] would be able to get back into his RAF uniform even if he had it.
>> Babe, are you shrinking?
>> Yes.
>> A stress and children do that to you.
>> A huge amount of weight in the last year.
>> It's not been great.
My weight goes up and down.
>> And on that depressing note, let's change to a new topic. Uh, any ideas?
>> Um, I'm thinking I'm probably going to go to bed in a bit.
>> Fair enough.
>> Um, >> I just want to give Laura a big hug.
>> Well, we can do that later.
>> Cuz you're literally across the hall.
>> Yeah.
come in on hug surprise.
>> Yeah, surprise hug. Um, Terry did their wedding on a similar budget 10 and a half years ago. I think ours was probably wasn't much more than that.
>> Look at this. Everyone's Everyone's boasting about how little they spent on their wedding.
>> I think we I think ours cost about £2,000.
>> Uh, yeah. Uh, Renrose said they spent2,000.
That was 33 years ago. Flush Phoenix.
Our ceremony was Marshall College, the rest in the pub at the old schoolhouse in Aberdine. I have never um I have never experienced a wedding as someone who's had to pay for it.
>> I suspect I never will, but uh I can do funerals.
>> I've been to at least two weddings where I am imagining the bride and groom did not have to spend close to anything.
I spent zero dollars on no wedding yet.
>> Yes, I Yes. Yeah, I'm winning. I I've spent nothing on my My wedding cost nothing.
>> My dress was 60 quid. Well, well done.
>> Terry's dresses.
>> I think my wife's was 100 150 maybe.
>> Everyone's just saying their wedding.
>> Sure.
>> Well done.
Let's say my mom made her a wedding dress and dad wore his uniform. Although mom did make for for their wedding her probably would be her her nephew um was like the ring bearer. So she made like a a >> the ring bear.
>> The ring bear. Yes. He was like I don't know five. So mom made like a a little uniform RAF uniform for him to wear.
It's very cute. Yeah. The photos are rather adorable. They have this great photo of them standing in the church doorway and, you know, looking at each other very lovingly as they haven't looked at each other for 55 years and they've been married for 56. Um, and out the front there's there's the sort of uh on either side um like six of the dad's uh RAF mates all in their uniform sort of, you know, standing guard kind of thing. It's a really cool photo. I quite like it. I don't even know who those guys were, but uh >> they were there. That's what >> they were there. That's the important thing. And it looks like a good photo.
So, um Demi Fraggle has not gotten married because they would lose money due to their partner being disabled. Well, you're married in your heart and that's the important thing, if not the legal thing, but that really sucks. So, I'm sorry.
Uh yeah.
Any Have you ever done the uh cake smashing thing? Was your plan to do the cake smashing thing, Dave?
>> No. No. I wanted to eat the cake.
>> Bye, Terry. Thanks for coming.
>> Bye, Terry. Sleep tight.
>> Don't let the flesh eating demon bed bugs bite.
>> One day someone will get that reference and I will be so happy.
>> I just saw that reference.
>> You got the reference? Yes.
>> No. I mean, Tristan, he's thinking. He's thinking. It's in his brain.
>> It is.
>> It's filing cabinet.
>> I thought it was Futurama.
>> No, no, no, no. It's Well, I'll give you a clue. It's a comic book.
>> Graphic novel comic book.
>> Squee.
>> Yeah.
>> No one watches comics.
>> Christian's like, "Yeah, no one watches comics anymore. It's very sad."
>> Wait a minute. No, I thought I thought I knew what it was.
>> I'll message it to you later, Tristan.
>> One way.
>> I don't want to give it away here.
>> Here's the thing. No, no, no. I I'm gonna I'm gonna pull this apart. It's either from Johnny the Homicidal Maniac or from uh um the spin-off show that he did for the for the television.
>> He Oh, um Invader Zim. That was >> Zim. Yeah.
>> Yes, that was his show.
>> That was >> Well, I'm not going to tell you which one it is, but you're on the right track.
>> I'm going to go over here and be quiet >> on that cliffhanger.
>> Like, comment, subscribe. Give me all your hype points. Get any hype points yesterday.
Give me your hype points. I want to see what happens.
>> Dave's so desperate for these hype points.
>> If you give myself hype points, sad.
People of the internet, please give give Dave his welldeserved hive points.
>> Thank you so much everybody today for uh for joining.
>> Amazing generosity.
>> Yes. And your wonderful generosity. We do appreciate it. Looking down at you.
>> Yes. Looking down >> on the head. No, because he's below No, he's below me on the on the grid.
>> I see >> on the screen here. So, I'm I'm patting him on the head.
I'll be back tomorrow in some >> He's fighting me off.
>> I'll be back tomorrow in some form, whether we do a live only in the UK or something like this or >> um yeah, and when we get to 4,000 subscribers, I'll either go to that restaurant or I will maybe do like a live jam. We'll get the musicians in.
>> Oh, that could be fun. Yeah, we'll get on Zoom and I'll run the uh electric kit through the stream and we'll >> we'll have a jam. That'll be cool.
>> Alex has got his ukulele out.
>> Is he going to do an apology song?
>> You're going to play the tox You're going to play the toxic gossip train.
>> I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. From the bottom of my heart, but not from the bottom. the bottom of my foss because the bottom of my boss is where I fought.
God.
Oh man.
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