This video explores the diverse experiences of womanhood through honest conversations with five women, revealing that realizing one's gender identity can happen at different life stages—from early childhood through puberty to adulthood—and that women navigate unique challenges including societal expectations, double standards, safety concerns, and relationship dynamics that men often don't fully understand. The discussion emphasizes that while experiences vary, women share common themes of needing to prove themselves, facing unfair judgments, and developing resilience through personal growth and self-acceptance.
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Deep Dive
How Does it Feel Like to Be a Lady? |E15Added:
YEAH, GUYS.
CHOSEN.
So Anita, Castella, and Karen, >> welcome to the podcast.
>> Thank you. We are so glad to have you.
>> Today's today's topic is different from the ones we have ever met as Dentim Mo because you're always experimenting and coming up with creative and crazy ideas to provide value to everyone who is watching us.
>> So I have to ask Melissia.
>> Oh yeah, >> not me first.
>> Malaysia.
>> Yeah. M what is your earliest memory of realizing you were a girl and what did it mean in the world you living in?
>> The earliest >> memories.
>> Oh >> when I realized >> when you identified yourself as >> Okay. So when I identified myself as a girl >> um >> I mean I I don't think I Oh actually yeah I've gone to realize it cuz I feel like I was born knowing that I'm a girl and >> like when did come to you and you be like yo I'm >> there's a difference like you know >> like when your mother told you to close your legs like >> oh my gosh >> okay Okay. Well, okay. Well, uh, so I feel like, um, I realized that I'm a that I'm a girl. Um, where feel like uh, right in senior 2.
>> Actually, no. No. IN SENIOR SENIOR, >> that is when Ira thought, oh, let you're a girl. And do you want to know what has happened?
>> I I can already guess.
>> Okay, then tell me more. Okay, let me let them speak.
>> No, the whole time man can take even.
Okay, so in senior one guys this is so amazing crying. Anyway, so in senior one term was when guys when did you guys realize it?
>> Like my god. Okay. So well the first time I realized that I that I'm a girl that I was a girl was um it's near winter term and this was when guys so this was when um obviously in in holidays when we were at home and I had a phone that time. So yeah I was chatting some people and and yeah I take it from there.
>> Okay.
What are you talking?
>> Wait, I'm lost.
>> The story is incomplete. Complete.
>> Okay. Bring me back. I'm lost.
>> So, what was when I realized that that I was talking to boys and conversations were not now. Hi, how are you? How was school?
And >> he doesn't look like it.
>> Not you.
>> Okay. Okay.
>> Do you know something about this? Do you know the guy? Let me be serious. Okay.
Okay. Seriousness. Okay. Was when I had my phone and and yeah, guys, I prefer not to share right now.
>> Okay. Simply >> to summarize it, he she just started to talk to guys and felt something like chemistries and >> Oh yeah, guys.
The process of >> Yeah, of course. That's not what I Okay, let me explain the story. Okay. Uh I said I was like girl actually. Yeah, let me tell you. So, it was in pattern and it was um guys, I'm shy. I will try it after. That's fine. I think that's fine.
>> Cast before we leave story, she was studying in a single school.
>> That's why I say it in holidays.
>> Yeah. OKAY.
>> OH, YEAH.
OH YEAH.
>> ANYHOO.
>> YEAH. OKAY GUYS, CAN YOU CONTINUE THE CONVERSATION?
>> SO GUYS, please I cut my story short, right? But I remembered everything. Is it okay if I still share it?
>> Okay. Well, so when I realized that I was a girl, that I'm a girl was in in high school in senior one, not not in third term, right at school. This was when I was seeing senior six girls S4s S5 and guys those girls they looked so demure we used to call them go they were so like wow western that like they're >> like how you look now they look ah thank you I take it in right they look so good so it was when I realized that oh I'm actually a girl and I want to be like them >> but by then I I wasn't like them but I wanted to be to be a girl and look like them so it was not in the holidays that was a story aside but it was right at school in senior one and when I used to look at all these big sisters I was like a they look so good their shirt is so neat they're everything and I was like I can't wait to look like them. Yeah.
Yeah. Thank you.
>> Okay.
>> Yeah. Me actually it took me long very long to realize that I'm a girl because >> you still don't know. It's somewhere like not in primary you know that you don't know if you know you know so I didn't really and that time was when I got in a relationship for THE FIRST TIME YEAH, I'M VERY PROUD.
>> I CAME FOR THIS.
>> I'M VERY PROUD.
>> I COME FOR this >> because man, that's when I started to to learn how to behave as a girl just to show the difference between my boyfriend and and me so that we won't look like we are gay.
>> Guys, I've never been in a relationship.
I don't know what that looks like, but let it win.
H that you took me off guard. Um I think I realized that I was a girl when when puberty hit him.
>> Mhm.
>> Yeah.
>> What's funny?
>> That's a topic I never want to talk about.
>> EXACTLY.
You don't shut upale experience now.
That's the topic.
>> Literally, I I I realized that um you know during that age, I started seeing a difference between me and the guys cuz just like Castella said, I was a boy. I was skinny. I There was no difference between me and the boys. I was even shaved. Mind you, I was in a school where people braided.
>> Oo. Oh. Oh. Bangladesh.
>> Guys, go a Bangladesh.
>> Yeah. Actually, wow. It it hit when when I started seeing the physical differences between me and the boys.
>> Okay guys, I feel like it >> girl even right now.
>> Okay. What happened right now? What happened? What happened in 19? What did happen madam?
>> Like everything happened during >> we took photos.
>> I know.
>> We grew guys. We grew.
>> Mir photos. Y.
>> Yeah.
>> First.
>> Do you ever wish you were born a boy?
>> No.
>> No.
>> Do you remember when Yeah.
>> No.
>> Yeah. Okay. No. I I I don't really wish I was born a boy because uh from the moment Okay. Okay. From what I remember, I grew up like being a girl because I have a sister and my mother, they always kept me like feeling like a girl because of the things that they bought me, the makeup and everything. So, I always felt like I'm a girl.
>> So, when I I reached >> Guys, let me tell you, she used to come in my birthday in like P6 braided looking so good and I was looking like Mat or like she was she looked so good.
>> I know. looking like.
>> Yeah. So in P6 in P6 um in national examinations, you know, they they rewarded like girls >> who got the highest mark. So >> the favors, you know, and in as well I get I I got to go to to the STEM camp STEM STEM STEM camp because I'm a girl.
>> Like there are many favors.
>> So you get a woman. You guys had the best experience. It's about like the FAIR that frustates me. Like what do you mean by madam?
Maybe I'm I'm going to twist a little bit like boys.
What do you guys think of the saying that? Let me now they're proud to be girls not because they are girls but because of how now yes what they get they favor how the society is treating them and at some point like that what do you guys think about that >> what do you think >> what I'm not okay so first to answer the first question when I realized I was a girl >> I would say I always grew up knowing I'm a woman my dad grew I had a very good dad. I have >> know bro always telling me you're beautiful.
>> You get such compliments from your dad.
>> Girl, stop throwing your glasses.
Anyway, but when it actually hits is when I was 10. I think at least some some people know it here when I was sexually harassed >> and somebody tried to rape me. Luckily, nothing happened, right?
>> But like that's the moment I realized like there's a difference. There is there's a difference like you know and unfortunately so much as we were given there are still some instances there are still some people with a mindset that hasn't changed but other than that um I do believe that the girl child or a woman in this country specifically >> topnotch I love it I love this country >> you realize you were a boy >> I know Guys, last week when I realized that I was a girl when I I realized that I was a girl was in P5 when a boy wrote me a paper that he loves me and I and I reported him to our teacher.
>> She just mentioned something similar to me. Me I I wrote a paper to a GUY AND HE REPORTED ME. I WAS LIKE A HEAD GIRL. YOU YOU YOU >> COME TO THIS QUESTION BECAUSE I still remember as a woman >> as a WOMAN you can tell them like guess No, no, no.
letter. I write a letter and then I I I was like and then when I was reading it like rereading it like three times when the boys his gang whom who whom we started together they read the paper and then was when I was reading the paper something that is similar to WHAT I WROTE. WHEN I turned back they WERE LIKE BRING THAT PAPER WHAT ARE YOU GOING TO TALK ABOUT?
I WAS LIKE IN P3 and then I brought I gave them the paper Anyway, just like with your parents.
I was very innocent.
You beat him. How was HE BEAT ME?
HE'S CONFESSING.
>> OKAY.
I've never BEEN IN A RELATIONSHIP.
SORRY. I I'm not involved in this.
>> I was going to say How you feeling?
>> Yeah, I'm I'm I'm excited, man.
>> I want to learn.
>> Um firstly, what's the most interesting thing about being a girl?
>> Because you said you never wanted to be a boy.
>> Hey. Okay. First of all, um makeup.
>> But you can see boys who PUT ON MAKEUP.
NO, THEY'RE NOT LIKE US. I mean, eyebrow. Why did I DRAW THIS EYEBROW?
EYEBROWS. WHEN YOU DRAW THE EYEBROWS for you so I would say the the style, our style, >> the style.
>> Yeah.
>> The girl style.
>> It's different from the >> and I think it's more diverse. Like you have more things you can do.
>> Yeah. You have more things you can do.
>> Don't you think >> you can be a guy at the same time and >> like So, okay. If you ignore the question, >> that's a mixture.
>> If you ignore the question, ignore the question.
>> Yeah. The style. Yeah. the man the hair the makeup as I said and also the um how like girl to girl how they help towards each other yeah their sisterhood like the love between guys it's extreme and when when for example you hold hands with the other guy it's called gay but when I hold hands with Castella it's very normal >> but but my girl even if you say that >> some girls are I'm not saying that they are lesbian, but you see how how girls have sisterhood between them. Sometimes you meet a wicked wicked >> sister. She tells you that and she's a pick me. She's a pick me. Like we here because we 2G and then she starts putting all of us down and she starts you know such people and what is a pick me please. A pick me is exactly as you hear it. Pick me, choose me, LOVE ME ABOVE everybody else. So to the point where let's let me give you an example. I'm a pick me. So I'm going to start and speak about Anita and I'm say Anita isn't even all that. Like she's not even that smart. Why would you like her? Like I'm part of the boys. I don't even put on a lot of makeup.
>> Like me. I'm natural. I love the PlayStation. We have clothes tomorrow, right? You can't come guys. You guys are too.
>> This is like me. Mhm.
>> See Castella. Why are you wearing so too much makeup? WAIT.
>> OKAY, stand back up. IT'S OKAY. I AM WEARING TOO MUCH MAKEUP.
>> IF YOU CAN'T SEE the comment section, >> let's keep going. Move. Why are you wearing >> Why are you wearing so much makeup?
>> Do you see the way she's wearing so much makeup? And >> but me, I don't even wear makeup.
>> Did you?
>> You didn't mop again. I have to do it all the time. Can you imagine? I'm the one to smoke every single time. Clean, >> but like I'm a clean freak. You know the people who like love cleaning all the time.
>> Play session.
>> Oh my god. The match pan.
>> Oh my god. Crazy. Nine goals in one match. TJ, I bet you can go and then you come. You're like, "Stand up, Kieran. I think you don't understand like I do you don't know such people tell me you've never met such a PERSON okay I'm like I'm like I don't think actually No, let you're doing too much.
>> I love being like, you know, you should kind of you know, not very many people like when you know you >> I don't think you understand boys like I do. So, we should exchange.
>> Yeah.
>> Extend.
>> Ah, this feels like a D.
>> AND and mind you, sometimes they start bringing in, oh, you're from a single school. Oh, and you're like, wow.
>> Yeah. Now they pick me that start picking on single school girls. Let me tell you, I'm done with that.
>> WE DO picking on school girls. It's fine, BUT PICKING ON ME BECAUSE YOU'RE A pick me.
>> And you start being like single. You guys are so hungry. I DON'T THINK YOU KNOW.
Just because you've met this one hungry girl, it doesn't mean that every >> What's the meaning of A HUNGRY GIRL?
THEY ARE A HUNGRY a hungry girl is like >> okay guys a hungry girl is like that girl and now Oh [ __ ] Do you also have Do you also have hungry boys?
>> Yes. Yeah. YEAH.
>> I feel like I feel LIKE WE GO SO wrong on them. It's a single story just because I mean just like you know the girls from single schools. I feel like it's a single story to make with guys from >> No, no, no, no. I'm saying guys in general. Let me tell you why guys actually let me tell you. I think everybody at some point in their lives, especially girls when they reach the the the ovelation phase, I'm not going to lie >> to most people. But the only difference is that guys show it more and that's a problem. Like just because you're attracted to somebody doesn't mean you have to show it. Like you understand, >> but when you're a girl, like when you're a guy, YOU SHOULD >> BUT GUYS, BRO, SOMETIMES it's too much.
Castella I'm a guyh like that's too much but that's okay the frequency of this has this ever happened to you >> but yes and the guy is like at some point they're LIKE and the guy is like what happened recently like this like and the guy was like and the guy was like get closer and get closer the rest.
He just want YOU TO GET CLOSER.
HELL NO. Now look at that hryfortable.
And if they don't do we are bullets most of us our personalities are all outgoing talking about that >> now imagine if a guy like us >> who are outgoing and everything I No perspective anyone is like I can talk to you very not even like that but they would they would talk out loud or fit, you get uncomfortable.
>> Yeah, exactly. They're scared like that.
Now imagine if every almost all of us win the first year don't have that experience.
>> I don't.
>> You have that experience and I have that experience and we're like this. Now imagine other girls who are shy, we don't speak.
>> But guys, I have >> I feel like I feel like that guy who comes close like that, I feel like that's not even I feel like that's that's weird. THAT'S WEIRD. THAT'S MY POINT.
>> So many men are weird. They're weird.
>> I feel like guys, I feel like that's weird.
>> Guys, let me ask you a question. Girl to girl to girl to a girl.
I have a question like do you think >> do you think it is okay?
I feel like they deserve even people around you. Yes, he did.
Fine ladies together.
She's the one who >> I caused it. Did you know >> I WAS WEARING A PANT AND not happened?
>> I was wearing a jean.
>> Was there two gingers say that she caused it?
>> Okay. So, she's the reason for men's hands.
>> YOU SAID I CAUSED she caused this.
>> Okay. First off, you need to FIRST KNOW HER. HOW DID I A NATURAL LOOK?
>> NO, WE'RE NOT JUDGING YOU. YOU HAVE TO EXPLAIN. It's >> No, tell us the story and I will tell you lying.
>> Okay, guys. We were I was I was taking a bike. We were going somewhere and I was with in a team of four people, two boys and and me and another girl. And then A TWO BOYS NOW TWO BOYS TWO BOYS BECAUSE DID NOT when I say I am going for Bangladesh man you say >> okay guys listen and then I was going to take the bike and then I was talking to the motorcyclist I was like I want to go here and here and then he was charging a lot of money and then I was like sh motor that's a lot of money and I can't give it to you and then I turned turned around. I was like, I want to I'm going to find another bike.
>> And then as I turn as I turned around, I beat >> the motorcyclist touched my TOUCHED >> and then I was like >> I turned around was like, "Sorry, what did you do?"
I embarrassed him because I was pissed and he did IT IN PUBLIC.
IF YOU GUYS WERE ONLY talking a TOUCH ME IN PUBLIC, I'll embarrass you in public. IN PUBLIC DO IT IN PRIVATE embarrass me. I also do it like public because it's not like it's unnegotiable.
You touch me, I will embarrass you. Of course, but then in the context if it's in public, then I will also do it in public because you also embarrassed me in public the people around you as someone like a girl because you didn't speak out uh to yourself.
yourself. But if THEY SEE THAT YOU'RE speaking for yourself now, the embarrassment is going to be cleaned up.
>> So I I had a question about that.
>> How did she How did I cause it?
>> The question we answer it.
>> Mhm.
>> So let's say we were together, me and you, in that situation. Okay.
>> What do you think I could have done? Me and another boy were together with you.
Um well you maybe you wouldn't attack the motorcyclist but then you would even give an expression like or you'd be like this is my sister you would even be laughing because you can also do that. You cannot do this.
>> Oh [ __ ] >> I don't believe that. HERE'S THE THING.
>> I WAS SCARED.
OKAY.
>> AS A MAN, HOW DO YOU GET SCARED AS A THING?
>> As a boy.
>> As a boy.
>> Would you go to war? Would you go to work?
>> WHY WOULD A BOY? YOU WERE SCARED OF SUCH A ONE SLAP ON SOMEONE'S LET me tell you NO I DON'T MEAN IT IN A BAD WAY you have three sisters NOW IMAGINE I'm sorry I Hope one day you see it happening to your daughter or your mother >> or your sister now gotten in the wrong.
>> Now imagine what would be your reaction >> fight.
>> Now now is it because you value her as a mother but not as a woman to the point where now here's the thing when people were not taught what to do in that situation to react to people close to them. But I'm telling you guy Guys, people used to hate me. That was my game. That was my game. I used Yeah.
Yeah. Yeah. Why do you speak out? Like actually there's a saying that treat every girl as you would like to treat or your sister to be treated. Yes. Exactly.
Like every like all the women says, "I love being a girl's girl.
personally I don't think in the first place I think Yeah. Yeah.
She she was very shy. Not shy. She was calm.
>> Everybody else felt it was accessible.
Now, let me tell you, Let me some men but still don't see a woman as a human as I don't want to say an object >> because I think an object is actually too good and come and pick no to them whenever you do that to a woman you're reducing her value if it was me, which is why I feel like you would end up taking.
Okay. Saying of that, saying of that, um, what do you do when a random guy asks for your number?
Oh, that's fine.
Let's say that you were working in this sort of environment, right? And men there start asking for a number.
>> Uh first of all, sometimes they they actually genuinely want to talk to you.
This sounds great. So I understand that's fine. Now if it's an interest rude only I reflect your energy. If you are rude I'm rude. IF YOU with your voice I know.
Yeah.
I can give you my Instagram if that's fine. That's usually what I do. You follow me.
>> You follow me.
>> I know.
Yeah.
I'm not rude.
Let me tell you that whoever asks for your number gets it.
Let me let me tell you a story, guys.
I'm sorry they didn't pay me to to advertise for them.
Guys, this was a school. I'm sorry if I'm wrong.
There is this way.
No.
Oh my god.
So when you are kind and I prefer being in you know right you know the history behind it history behind it is how they ended up then the country was cursed speak the cursed.
Then all the men died except one man.
All the men one girl she discovered the man.
Now the country was very empty.
So she discovered the maniscover.
>> Yes. Sorry. And then >> you guys don't know the story. I don't you don't I don't.
>> Anyway, after taking them they slept together. She got pregnant and everybody was like she's pregnant. So what happened? How did she get pregnant? And the queen called onto the woman and say how is your pregnancy and say I have a man. And then the man, they used to take him to the the queen's place and stuff and they would sleep together. Now the guards, they found out that there is a man.
>> The guards >> the guards need the chins.
>> They find out that there's a man. So what do they do? They started fighting for the man.
>> Fighting for the man because one and all of them had time. He had spent a long time.
>> So they were called. So they started fighting for the man.
>> No, they were called ini from the beginning.
>> In that was the name from the beginning as when you think about it. No, >> it's not something that's bad.
>> But the context of it >> and everything anyway. Yeah, they were very hungry for the man and they ended up and he got everybody pregnant and finally what to say.
>> I'm so lucky.
>> I'm so lucky that what >> the man >> that use you. I'm so lucky that I Okay, back to the story.
The devil is a lie.
self study and then they studed they spend the the self study together and it was like a culture some guys some guys didn't know but other guys knew that that is being happening >> and and I was like and at that moment I was in a relationship when it just when I just realized that >> this think is here.
>> I was like, is he really? But I think the guy whom we were in a relationship with, I'm sorry, but I just doubted on you because even he would tell me some stories and be like sometimes it was kind of like it's possible.
>> Yeah, it's possible.
Of course. That's why. How are you not SO >> I guess what happened?
SHOW ME THOSE MEN. Show me where they are.
>> I guess what happened is that the the man came like that is the nation. But then he got attached in the end.
>> How do you know?
>> Because no, listen.
spending that whole time because we wouldn't kiss. We wouldn't even hug.
I remember I like >> what did you do?
>> Like nothing. That was no intimacy. Like we had NO NO GUYS THAT JEEZ.
>> I think guys I'm not lying. I if there's something that I regret about that guy, but then I I don't regret it. At least I would have given him like hugs, but even a hug was very difficult to get because I was still a boyish girl.
>> You're reminding me of my story.
>> So, I think that is very bad. Wherever you are new to if a girl is performing well in class and you think that passing through a relationship to put her down, you're very wrong because she is still above you and shining. So please guys, let me tell you if that had to happen.
If it had to happen, you would really never find any. Hey, by the way, he's going to take this security guard. He look I'm not saying I'm not dress or what but like he looked like >> Yeah. But the voice was I know the voice was like I was not in love but like >> he was the only boy you had just >> the guy in the story. Oh yeah, let me finish my story. Let me finish my story.
>> Guys, I was I told >> that's NOT WHAT I MEANT. GUYS, I WAS TRYING TO share with you what happened to him.
>> Mhm.
>> It's just that you know he looks like Kesh. We used to go to talk to him.
We're like, do you know who Keshhat is?
Like oh yeah. Like yo, you had the face but not the voice.
>> Yo, >> do you think he looks like someone? Do you think Alfred looks like someone?
>> No. No. No.
>> Oh [ __ ] >> Okay. Now, now let me let me let me ACTUALLY LISTEN. LISTEN. ANITA.
WAIT.
NO. NO. NO.
No inside story.
>> AND NOW BEHIND THE CAMERA.
NO. When you first look at him, YOU SEE GUYS, >> he doesn't beat. Do you beat women? No.
Okay, good. I was very but one day I fought with a girl in too.
That's the last time I fought but she was she was you find out that there's a girl But they sent one of them to come.
You would really guys the giant ones you would really never put them down. Period.
>> Yeah. I want to know from the smartest ones. Whatever you would do, you would really never put them down.
>> Yeah. I want to hear from TJ.
>> Yeah. Mhm. So you asked me if I knew that there was a girl >> who I sent to you to M. Mhm. Lucky enough it never happened.
>> Hallelujah.
>> Guys, wait.
>> Oh [ __ ] >> Sometimes like the story you said sometimes you you you get sent to put someone down and you end up being attached to them. And there's a point like there are numerous scenarios. One scenario I might be really in love with her.
So it will be hard, man, if you know that you truly love her. But we as the boys, we always prepared.
>> Sometimes you feel like coming.
>> Sometimes you feel like you're coming to put us down, but we are >> going because I'm so emotional.
>> Sometimes I cry. I cry a lot. I would be sad.
I'm very glad.
>> I have GIVEN YOU MY LOVE.
>> AND SO WHAT WOULD you do? What would you do? You find out that a man has been sent to bring you down.
>> Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I will bring down.
>> Um that's ridiculous. I would actually stay. I would stay.
>> Same to prove him wrong. Wait. Let's see who wins.
>> Um you cannot put me down.
>> You can but I don't think you can actually put me down. No.
>> Why?
Some boys are prepared.
Guys, let me tell you my whole life.
>> The only person who can put me down is myself. You can know I'm the one who got myself.
>> Okay, let's not Okay, let's actually include some people.
There's some people who get especially girls because those people there are some people who attend their success from working hard from investing a lot of time like naturally you're intelligent and those people are easily it's it's easy for them to be put down like >> because if you spend time with them then they not be having time to to let me tell you, you're there to unless you're there to to to you know as a way for other boys to go you know beyond him I mean beyond the girl because if you're also there then you're also you know going down there BECAUSE then my point is right I'm saying if the the hardworking girl right knows you they're studying in prep time they wake up early Still they have many channels where they're getting their knowledge from and if it's >> but man I think someone putting you down it is mental man more than physical >> because you might you might have time to study but the only thing you thinking of is what like yeah the guy >> so you still have time but because of what he does to you >> again those smart girls the first ones in classes even they use not to not engage IN RELATIONSHIP I'M VERY focused on my Sorry, but no, I understand. I understand that it's possible. But I'm also saying that the the girls there, the first ones used to be like, you know, focus in their booth and you're not going to find them.
>> Not all of them.
>> Not all of them.
>> Let me tell you, not all of us. We would call because Okay, I'm saying there.
What do you guys What do you guys think about the There's this trend that was going on on TikTok that people would say, "Oh, this person used you." It goes both ways actually. Either the girl used you or the boy used you. And then the people would be like, "Do you really think he used me? Do you think me? I want to visit him because I didn't know what I was doing."
>> Bro, most people, they're not actually used. They know exactly what they're doing and they're like, "Man, he's using you. Why are you spending money on him?
>> Do you think I withdraw money from my bank when I don't know what I'm doing?"
>> I know. So why do people continue to >> because there's something you're getting from them. Whatever you say, you cannot stay in the >> unless you're not intentional. Unless you're not >> unless you're not actually getting >> unless you you're crazy. He will get something from you, but you also get something from >> because there are girls who are like really focused on their studies because they know that maybe back then in their families, they're the ones that the want to stand out for the family. They have their reasons. So you coming out then unless you lose like your mind.
>> Yes. I have a question like let's jump in into a relationship and how what is a girl in a relationship?
How how should a girl behave in a relationship in the context of um >> dating >> educators?
I mean like of responsibilities if I can call it like what do guys expect from girls to do and what is a girl what is something that a girl is not supposed to do for instance >> for instance let's say some guys they expect a girl to be sub submissive to them like do this and this and this do this and this and this and there is there's this time when we were in class in Iso and then they mentioned something that If um this mentality that boys ends up having like if a guy let me say >> no no no if you have >> who said it is Kevin if you have >> if you have a cow be >> but that's not how the proverb goes. It says if you have the milk why do you have to buy the cow? That's exactly me.
>> What does it mean?
>> If you get the milk for free, she cares for me.
I want to feel loved and I also want some physical intimacy.
>> That's milk to me. Now the cow you are providing You get so you get it's like when a girl a guy wants a wife. Let me give you a guy wants a wife and the wife for him is like a a girl who we clean for you like who we cook for you clean yes clean your clothes wash your clothes and everything >> produce babies >> produce babies but that's that's our responsibilities of course it's not an expectation >> remove of course >> can they can they do that >> NO girlfriends boyfriend if I'm getting all that I give your key and I'm going to clean your house.
Oh my god.
So, uh, buying buying a buying a car is like marrying someone.
>> Yes. Not only that, no. You get everything that you would get from a girlfriend from me.
What they do? They get more milk than getting more cows.
>> Exactly.
>> You can only get one cow if you are serious.
>> And yeah, you can get milk from here of milk.
>> What do you think is the best?
What do you think?
>> What do you think is the best?
Try try it. Instead of choosing one car or maybe this question goes to do whatever you you wish a man would do to your mother period.
I see it going is making my life hard.
>> Making your life hard.
>> IF YOU WISH good to your mother, >> do what you would wish somebody TO DO TO HER OR YOUR SISTER.
How you would wish for a for a guy to treat your daughter. Oh [ __ ] >> Or even your sister.
>> Do that. Do that. I understand you. You are scared of commitment, but that's life, man.
Fine, I can do it for somebody else. Spending money. I would I would rather much spend money on someone else than myself.
>> Yeah. Okay. You're going to say a man somebody else actually >> even to to friends we some people say that a guy is a provider in a relationship. What extension?
>> Did I say an extension?
>> What extension?
SO WHAT extent is a guy a provider of wounds to what extent I have I have >> I have no on this jail.
>> This is my favorite topic.
>> I'm sorry. I'm lying. Anyway, let me tell you guys in this economy in this economy to balance today's economy with the expectation that we had in the past.
Fine. Give me money.
Actually, no. Me, I don't take money from men. But uh you don't know I I would never ask for a man for money. Even if he offers if I'm not dating this man, I'm not going to take his money. Period. But however much he can give you, you can accept.
Mhm.
You guys are spending money on each other.
Wow. I'm the only one remaining.
Anyway, let's go back to what you said in one of the last episodes. This 50/50 thing in the period actually a relationship be 100. Everybody's giving their all50 noons when a woman is pregnant.
>> My guy, what I'm expecting you to provide is not money. I expect care.
time I expecting that's where you should provide where I'm lacking and where I'm not lacking you can offer in this so You mean >> so you mean money not is not the only thing which is needed in love >> actually no it's the least thing of provision provision >> because now everyone has money now everybody can get money provision was of something that you're lacking today people can work and get money your care the time and everything else that that somebody needs especially when they're in a vulnerable position of sickness and How many people do you know and care?
>> I know. Can I speak what I think? I feel like we all get it wrong. Yeah. Because every time when a girl says going that I want to provider, the man is going to be like, "Oh, I don't have the money to spend on you all the time." Right. Kind of. I don't think when someone means provision I don't think that's what they mean go like money every time every time and there is guys I feel like nowadays boys this is what this is what I think of them right or this is what the real this is the reality >> so he feels like after after dating you after you saying yes to him right then he feels like you're the you're the wife you know he feels like oh I've gotten you at home what you have to do now stay there if he used to call you like 30 times a He's now going to call like twice a day, right? The next month it's once like oh, you should always like chase. You should always explore and get to know the personas in chasing. It's chasing. chasing actually the one chasing you if you're not chasing AT LEAST LISTEN >> CUZ LET ME TELL YOU if if if he's dating you not he's going to to want to call you EVERY TIME IT'S NOT NO NO NO it's like a girl should always be on the top I was I know men want something that they fought for they don't they don't like those things but I feel like you should every time I explore You get to know me every day. Get interested in me.
>> Yeah. Like having you see when you're calling. Can we have one? Like >> Yeah.
>> Yeah.
>> Like you you see when you're calling a girl.
You see when whenever a girl is calling you literally you're not chasing her.
>> You've got everything on your door.
But then what I mean by chasing is like you should be the one. You should miss her so much.
Every day the effort that you were putting in the first time you were, you know, you were dating her, put the effort every day, you know, learn, explore and want to know me more, right?
And then it ask it depends on how you guys are relating to each other and each other. Cuz I feel like there are men who approach you and they're like mainly they all they want to do is to to show I'm the man, you know, I'm the man. I'm going to do everything. I'm, you know, be the queen, be the princess out there, you know. But there also some relationships where you first get to know each other as friends.
you know, your friends are like, "Oh, can I can I get 5K? Can I get 2K?" And you're you're like best friends, right?
So, when you get to fall in love, then it keeps it goes that way, you know, the normal way. He's like, "I need money. I need money." And it's so simple, right?
So, I feel like me asking for money from a guy or him asking it from me. I feel like it depends on how you guys are.
>> I would prefer him asking me the money.
>> Yeah, the money is fine. Money flows though. Money flows.
>> I think people should be asking >> But not like that. Not like that. Not like that. I think it shouldn't come like >> it shouldn't be complicated as such.
>> You should be asking for money as such.
You shouldn't have to. If somebody actually love you, I don't think you have to ask for some things from them.
They know what's on your wish list. They know what you like. They know you like pizza. They'll one day surprise you and order it for you.
feel bad.
Silent silent. You're going to know exactly what they like and what they want at that moment.
>> So, what do you guys think? You just been real quiet.
>> I'm learning from you.
>> You repeat the question.
>> Do you expect Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.
>> You as a guy this thing of expect you to guess it maybe.
What do you think about that? Do you >> I totally disagree with that and I don't support that.
>> I come on now.
>> If you're in a relationship then you have like >> communicate.
>> The first pillar of relationship is honest communication.
>> I know cuz I feel like you feel as a man.
Let me teach you something on Tik Tok.
And then she reposts flowers. She reposts shoes. She reposts food.
That's communication ON INSTAGRAM. YOU SHOULD GO AND TALK ME. SEE THE THINGS I REPORTED. ACTUALLY, ACTUALLY, let me let me tell you this thing. If you >> I don't think that you only know what your what your girl or your boy needs by only asking them because someone's best wishes or best needs are expressed in tiny details, man.
Basically, they're communicating, man.
You don't have to expect more detail.
relationship, you know.
Sorry baby. Sorry.
Sorry.
you open up to him or her. So, so the as a man as a man as a man as a woman. Now, let's do it cuz woman as a guy.
>> Let's go the next segment. I I came up with it last night.
>> Hey, what's that? I don't know. How did you call it?
>> Let me find the name later.
>> It's a game. IT'S A GAME. It's a game.
>> So there questions.
>> Quick fire.
>> Yeah. Tell me more quick five.
>> Quick fire.
>> Tell me more quick fire.
>> So they here the questions. So you choose a question and then you read it and you either choose to respond truthfully. You don't like and you feel like you can't you can't >> truth.
So the thing is you either choose to respond to the question >> using truth >> or or you you pick really good hug. No, DUDE. DON'T EXPLAIN.
WHAT'S STOPPING YOU?
SO WE go are the phoning.
>> Yeah, they are not from the questions.
>> Everyone except >> except your wife. God bless.
>> Should I read this?
Is there a part of girlhood you're still grieving some something you never got to fully to fully be or experience >> relationship?
>> Nah, >> let me read the question. So the question is >> Mhm. is there a part of girlhood you are still grieving? Something you never got to fully be or experience?
>> Let me have the question. The question is mine.
Let me reread. Is there a part of girlhood? Um, I'm so >> excited.
My girlhood was my my girlhood >> was the best.
>> Was is okay. I'm talking about the experiences identify because >> the experience you know that has happened in the past.
>> Honestly speaking, it was the best. I really want to go back and experience.
>> That's so good.
Who's next?
>> What is something c Let me show you my hand right here.
as a man.
My guy, >> what is something what celebrates in men but punishes in women that you do anyway?
>> Let me read the question for the audience.
>> What is something We are already something.
>> So what is something world celebrates in men but punishes in women that you do anyway?
>> The world. I get the question.
>> Oh yeah. comment.
>> Oh [ __ ] You pick, man. You pick. You just pick.
>> Let me pick this one.
>> This is the became >> a 30.
Let me let me let me for you. The dare is >> do a 30-cond commercial selling your worst personality trait as if to it was your best future.
Your worst personality trait. Sell it >> for 30 seconds.
>> One timing.
>> Personality.
>> But the best the best feature, right?
>> No.
>> The worst one. And you advertise it as as it is the best one you have.
>> Okay. Are we ready?
>> Are we ready?
>> One second.
>> Are we ready?
shouting.
>> One, two, three.
>> ARE YOU SITTING THERE?
>> LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, TODAY IS A SHOUTING DAY.
>> Why are you SITTING THERE WITHOUT SHOUTING? PLEASE SHOUT.
>> EVERYBODY SHOULD SHOUT. SHOUT, shout because THAT'S WHEN YOU SPEAK UP. THAT'S WHEN YOU GIVE OUT AGAIN.
>> My turn.
Just the record.
What lie do girls tell the most?
>> Let me let me read the thing. So it says, "What lie do girls tell themselves the most to get through the day?"
>> To to get >> You can do it to educate.
>> What do you like to yourself every day?
>> Okay.
>> Girls in general.
>> Girls in general.
I'm fine. I'm fine. I'm okay. I'm fine.
I'm okay. I'm fine.
pretty good.
>> Look directly at the Oh my god. and say something you want every young girl listening to here right now.
>> I love this. Let me tell you, you are beautiful. You're amazing. And you're exactly what you say you are. So focus on yourself and what you say.
They are not the center of everything. I DO NOT CARE IF YOU ARE DATING ANYONE. IF YOU ARE dating element or any other guy, good for them. But you have a personality that is beyond guys and that is beyond what everybody else says. And you're exactly what you say you are.
Wow.
>> Oh, there.
>> No, you pick a question.
>> Good. Okay.
>> I know.
>> Let me read it for you. This is really good. What is What is something you are still healing from that made you who you are?
>> Oh, girl. Hey, Mike.
>> Oh, okay. Um, give me some time to think. Um, can I have a dare?
>> Because if I'm still healing from it, IT DOESN'T NECESSARILY MEAN I'M >> GIRL, GIRL, GIRL, >> say out loud that one compliment you never believe when people give it to you.
>> Hey, >> I am tall.
>> That girl, you're growing taller.
No go.
I've been the same since I was 12 months.
You blessed.
And I'm serious.
It says it SAYS AFTER it says describe in one sentence >> as a girl as a man >> for you. If your your younger self or no question, let me >> Can I read it? If your younger self could see you today, would she be proud or would she be confused?
>> Proud.
>> I know.
>> Why?
>> Hug me. Yeah.
People used to tell me like computer science and now I'm a software engineer.
>> Okay.
>> Do you have it there?
>> Yeah. Yeah, I have it. Finish this sentence with your with the first thing that comes to your mind. Nobody knows that I'm STILL >> finish this sentence.
>> Can you get them?
>> Finish this sentence with the first thing that comes to you. The sentence is >> nobody know that I am still carrying >> a baby.
>> The burden.
>> The burden.
>> Yeah. The birthday. The burden.
>> The burden of the burden.
I am worried which bad name the relationship romantic or otherwise that changed the entire trajectory of who you became.
>> Can I name it?
>> Name the relationship romantic >> or otherwise >> or otherwise that changed the entire trajectory of who you became. Guys, I'm serious on this note. It's not like a romantic relationship only. I just got a brotherhood in someone and really changed who I I am. And sometimes I just got somebody who really understands me 100%. And that is something you you listen there's a way you judge a person from how you see them. And then there is this person whom I met and he really understands MY PERSONALITY LIKE WHY I DO this and why I don't do this and that's something that I need.
I wanted to improve on myself. You need to first understand me and how I am and now help me to improve and change myself.
>> What would you tell a man who beats his wife?
>> Stop.
>> Wow. That question.
>> Let me tell you the question is good man. It fits her.
>> Yeah. It's written.
>> Let me tell you >> as a man who beats his wife.
>> First off, let me tell you, you fight people who you see are a threat to you. That's one.
Am I lying?
>> Are a threat.
There are people who do it. Now you see that's people you as a person how dare you know that person first of all even if you guys are equal you're not in a competition to fight to that.
So first of all you are weak you see the woman as as as a competition and you are sick in the head to get married to somebody you see as a competition.
Number two, you beat your wife. The woman you got married to that you took your decision and you said marriage. You leave a man leaves his his mother and father to go live with a woman.
Oh yeah, you can speak.
Let me tell you, I cannot react immediately. No, that is poor, >> my friend. I will cook you a good meal.
Put in these sleeping pills. Let me tell YOU WHAT I THINK. I think I THINK THAT'S WHAT LET ME TELL YOU GUYS, listen to ME GUYS. GATHER HERE. WELL, THERE IS THIS THERE IS THIS time and you need also as a woman you need also to understand that people have different personalities in the way they reacted.
Let me tell you why.
If the man that loves you so much to the point where that emotion of anger, can I CAN I CAN I CAN I TELL YOU? CAN I TELL YOU to all women who are first Before you judge that man, look at yourself.
Don't just go with that.
Understand? Remember, you have a family.
You have children.
The best man ever. First revise yourself. Revise how you talk to him.
Let me tell you HOW women that was the best question.
>> Let me tell you the thing is first revise yourself.
And then you cook.
But that's what I'm planning to do if I get married.
We have to talk about this.
The first thing IS HAVE YOU MET MY MOTHER? HAVE YOU MET?
YOU KNOW MY MOM. YOU KNOW MY WIFE. MY FRIEND.
I understand.
Are you so lovely?
Let me tell you. Let me tell you.
If I'm married, yes. If I'm married to a man and you cheat, we can sit and we talk about that. I swear. Let me tell YOU on my own side cheating I would tolerate more than I could tolerate you beating me cuz let me tell you straight in my face.
I hold respect to this level and never context.
Dear mothers, GUYS, get That's why I'm like you have to revise yourself. The only THING now let me tell you let me tell you I I don't tolerate men beating women or women beating men at all but the situation that I support most The MOTHER WAS THE HUSBAND.
First think about yourself. That's the only thing.
Think about their future.
Children prefer they prefer that they would GET DIVORCED. BUT THEN THERE'S something very big.
Trust me with this truth.
You protect your mother.
You You want to be stronger than everyone there. Okay. My My dad is dumb.
Then I have to protect my mom.
I prefer my parents to separate.
Let me tell you, it's better to live in in a household.
I'm casting my hatred on you, my death slowly. I'm killing you, right?
I'm also killing our child.
>> So, let me tell you sign the divorce papers, not me.
What would you tell a man who gets beaten by his wife?
Why would you tell me?
You remember the video which was trending behind it. No, >> let me give my friend basically You know about right instead of I think I don't know insufficient funds.
password like sometimes.
It's the same as fighting the answer. Fighting is not the answer.
Yes.
Fighting is not the answer.
I don't support that.
It's the solution to this.
Don't beat me. The same as the man.
We Let's stop this question.
Anything. So I feel like I don't think it's the right solution.
I don't think fighting is the right solution. Rather um obviously in that in that situation guys think of the the woman's situation you know going there you're going to get certain things and apparently wow out of nowhere the money is no longer there. So I feel like I would you know I would chill which is not easy cuz at the same time reacting that fast is not the right thing right so I I'd first want to know what is the reason as to why that that man took the money >> was he in such you know an essententral situation to use the money yes but if it's such a crazy thing like betta or or something then we have we need a one-on-one talk So my solution is I would I would obviously freeze for some time go pray to God that God give me the good energy >> because otherwise I'm going to cut this man into pieces. So overall I would I would sit down the man and talk and and talk about it and honestly speaking if it can't work out if the first time is like if if maybe it's a repetitive whatever situation then sh I don't know.
So now you brought to to a man who has already been being beaten by his wife.
>> Oh, go pack your things and go.
I'm like, guys, guys, let me tell you, think of a woman who gets his arm from the pocket and beat your chicks or wherever. I don't know. Think of think of how hard and how difficult the situation is, right? So first place But please let me tell you let me tell you you know you have you know you have children you know you have I find you molesting a child to see you as a mom beating your own husband beating their father that's I know that's too much so to that man I'd really go tell him really what were you thinking when you did that right and then obviously I would sit down him the man and hear from him because at the end of the day I would first want to know the reason as you why did your woman your own woman thank you why don't you think that's go to the man and ask them why DID YOU BEAT POINT OF VIEW.
I would never beat a husband. I can't beat a man. I can't especially still if your wife beats you. My guy God, you know me.
Honestly speaking, how I don't understand. I don't understand how to love this person.
Guys, one more last thing. Sometimes sometimes even sitting that man down sometimes it's also hard but emotionally emotionally and also even physically because they want to be like oh oh so you're coming for me again right sometimes I feel like that's when that's when the good mothers might come in I feel like sometimes you need someone else do anything else except fighting I be physically that's that's the point do anything else there emotionally too except what would you tell parents who make their daughters do all the home chores like homework do what do you call them >> home chores >> what would you tell them >> bite my tongue What's your take on that?
>> Okay, I think so. I think their brothers are just sitting.
It's not right.
If you're a good parent, you should train at the same level.
Okay. Yeah. Okay.
I think parents should train their children.
>> Now the reason why the reason why I ask you that question is because growing up um I grew up in a a family of four four daughters four four sisters and I I was the only boy >> and >> that's nice. It's resembling my family.
Three girls and one brother.
>> The bad thing is that the bad thing was that I was the only one who who did the whole the whole thing the whole boy.
I think the reason why I was like that is because everyone likes to travel English.
So I would be the one remaining at home and doing everything, cooking, uh, moping, sleeping.
>> Making your bed.
>> Making your bed.
>> And they are bed.
>> Yeah, >> they are bed. They will wake up and go.
>> No, it's not BECAUSE like Mhm. So I was wondering about the family as well.
one girl. It's like the responsibilities and everything and your responsibilities to just make everything you go back to.
>> I want to ask you a question. Is it like were you forced to do that?
>> They taught me how to do it and then whenever they were not around Look at it.
It creates a different mentality.
You It's your personality.
But but some people are meant to, you know, to move around.
even the ones who taught me to do it.
>> Yes. But you you will find some families, they have four four sons and one daughter and the daughter, she's the one to be blamed about everything.
>> Oh, the house is dirty. It's this girl is lazy. She can't smoke.
>> Why do you And then when when when the daughter tries to say something, they're like, do you want to compare yourself to your brothers?
>> And that actually diminishes the brother.
Yeah.
I also wanted to ask you about that personalized.
>> You see that in our culture, you find that most of the times girls are the ones who are taught how to behave.
The boy can do whatever they want. They can go whatever they want. What's your take on that?
>> I think I think it's unfair for the boys.
I'm so grateful they were able to teach me certain things and I think the boys deserve that too.
If you're a boy and you grow up in a family where they give you full like ownership of your life at such a young age at 15, Yeah, it's not going to come for me as they came for me last time in the comments.
Can you speak? was like maybe not. Yeah.
>> Yeah. So, I think we're going on the last >> last part.
>> I know. Can I say something? Just something.
There's a man who said something on TikTok. I can't remember him. He was saying how patriarchy and the system has made the boy child neglected. How?
>> Mhm.
There is neglecting a child to the point where even when the kid doesn't have as good marks as they should, you appreciate them and you're like, "No, it's understandable and what not." Now, bring that in the context. You already So, if they can't wash and they wash it badly, like it's understandable. It's okay. At least you tried. So, they show them that the bare minimum is okay. Why?
Because patriarchy neglects the boy child and focuses on making the girl child perfect to make sure that they keep that boy child in the comfort zone.
So in that way and where the world is heading at least let me speak for this country that is such a terrible position for a man to be in when you grow cuz at some point you're going to need to live alone and you're going to live in a place where it's dirty and everything.
When you get married and your wife cannot stand up and go cook for herself and you do not have a househel who will do that.
That's when you find that men bring their mothers in the house.
Why? Because patriarchy has neglected the boy child so much to the point where it has destroyed the boy child and it's terrifying. I know it.
>> Yeah.
>> H the last question I think um everyone will answer this.
>> Karen, you're right. Like >> I'm right.
>> I'll start from Casta. As a lady, >> what's the best piece of advice you've ever had received regarding to What's the best piece of advice you've ever had or received?
>> I love this question.
>> Okay.
Cuz I've had a lot of advices for real.
But some something that I really loved like from the all the advices that I got is to stand for myself like always to show my potential and to show what I can do.
>> You do >> to show the best version in me like because honestly speaking like growing up I've had >> sorry but I wanted to ask you this thing. You're always laughing.
like even when we were in class she can't always can somebody else first go >> as as a lady the best piece of advice you ever had received.
>> Yeah, thank you. As a lady, the best piece of advice I've ever received was from my sister. Like, shout out to her.
Um, my big sister, my biggest sister.
Um, like when I was young, okay, I I had no phone, right? So, in the afternoon, actually, most of the times I would be with my cousin, this one, and we would want to use the telephone and stuff, right? And she was the one to lend it to us. So, she would >> iPhone, >> I know. So she would let us do you know she would tell us go do this go do this then in the end I'm going to revite you to l you my telephone to text us the post on Facebook you know so um the best I don't think she she told it oh actually yeah she did I don't think she told it to me as an advice the one that I just remembered is is the second one yeah but what she just told me from that was even right now I cannot I don't wake up on my telephone like she's She's taught me, she's put in something so incredible that in the morning I won't see, you know, home looking so bad. I won't see like I'm trained not to wake up on telephone. I'm trained to wake up, you know, I can rather you cuz actually in the in the early morning like every time I used to go >> um to the morning mass, right? So she's trained me to do to to be productive in the morning. And the second advice she told me was on my birthday guys they have celebrated everyone's birthday at home and when it was my birthday she taught me that life is up and down. So today at home life is down. We are not going to celebrate your birthday. So yeah from that I've learned okay at the end of the day it was a prank. It was a surprise. They did me a birthday which is the first surprise I've ever had in my life.
>> Yes. So they did Now why am I ONE OF THE GIRLS? LET'S DO THIS.
>> ANYHOO, so in the end in the end they did meet the birthday but but from that she taught me to be productive in the morning guys. In the morning I'm the most productive person in the whole world. I love that.
>> And second life is up and down honestly speaking but ordin Leticia like her name says joyful ordin stay happy. Oh, she is. Thank you, >> Alisa.
>> As a lady, what is the best piece of advice you've ever had received?
>> Um, I think it's it's um don't dwell in places where you you're doubting yourself >> or like don't force yourself into places where you don't feel >> you don't feel like you're the best version of yourself. It's this I saw it's she was it was about it was more on the relationship side >> as in don't force yourself on a guy who you know doesn't like you and he makes you you he'll stop making you feel like oh you're the ugliest person alive you're not worth it and there's someone out there who's so ready to make >> I know like I wish you could have taught me this like anyone kept going anyways um taking it out of that context it it applies to the workplace to normal friends. Don't be in places where you don't feel like you're welcome, where they're going to make you feel like you don't belong.
>> Girl, there there's a group of people out there who are going to make you feel like you're the most amazing person.
>> There's a job you're going to go to and you're going to be the project manager.
You're going to be a leader. They're going to listen to your advice. So, if you don't feel like if it's draining your energy, trust trust your guts and just to leave.
>> It's okay to use another path.
And mind you, it might be hard in the first place to leave, but like after two or 3 weeks, you're the most comfortable person and the most joyful.
>> It's my turn. So, >> let me ask you the question.
>> I slept at 3.
>> Okay. Oh, >> I know. Specifically, specifically for you.
Do you want to pick my I refuse?
>> No, I'm not going to go there.
Don't be shy.
>> I'm not being shy.
>> First thing first, GUYS.
>> I know. You better sit here.
Especially as a lady, >> what is the best piece of advice you ever had or received?
>> Yeah, it's from my mom and my sister.
They always like be confident and always stand out in a good way where it's maybe st anything but always you have to stand out in a good way.
>> Stands out.
>> Yeah.
>> Be the classic.
>> Yeah.
Are you are you >> ladies and gentlemen? My name is Castella.
>> Yeah, that's her name.
>> Yes.
>> Wow.
>> Okay. So the best advice actually is like okay giving the background is like I grow up there is some something about women the way they're diminished even growing up with a single mother something big and the most advice I was given is to stand out for yourself for myself and like to show the potential that I have in me and to prove the whole world around me wrong about maybe negative thoughts they have about me and about women as whole and something else is like to lift others like it's never called a success if you're called a girl and you're reaching to your dreams when others when your fellows But then because I remember when I was in in in I just grow up I would be the first one and then somebody gave me an advice that it's never called success if unless Yes, it's >> fair.
>> Yes, it's everyone's success.
>> Just to stand out to yourself and again thrive for success for all, not for yourself.
>> Oh, wow.
>> Karen.
>> Mhm.
>> As a lady, >> what is the best piece of advice you've ever had or received?
>> Okay. Um, first off, uh, let me, >> how do I say this? Let me start by saying the way I grew up with my parents, they never made me feel like acknowledged that I'm a woman and I'm a woman. You're like, I'm a woman, so I'm different. And I thank my parents for that. So most of the advice I received that regarded me being a lady, they're not the best I've ever received was my dad telling me men are animals. Don't ever be in a closed room with men, my own dad. But let me say what I want to say. The best advice that I've ever heard because you get uh as a lady, first I'll start from our nurse, nurse Joyce. She was our mom.
>> She said one thing. She said when you go out there >> there there's a table. There's a buffet.
>> Oh, >> you know, you allowed to get everything, but you shouldn't pick everything.
>> Men out here, you look like you're gaining something from them, but they're destroying your life. He has a wife, he has a life. You, however, you're just a side chick.
>> Poetry.
>> That's one.
>> Poetry >> on the side. The second one I would say was on Tik Tok was a girl saying uh in a room full of people wearing black, put on navy blue. Don't wear neon green or or yellow.
>> Why?
>> It's just girl. I'm sorry. You get >> you get why?
>> Because make sure you stand out enough to be noticed, but not that you stand out enough to be alienated and to make yourself to draw the line to show people that you're different from them. You get what I mean? M >> so make sure in a room of people wearing black you wear navy blue but you don't wear neon green >> because that's that's that's a very big difference the last one and third one >> I was translating for our pastor and he shared a story >> he uh he doesn't know that I kept this of course anyway he he was talking about a story about a person you can come and I tell you my birthday is coming up I want a gift that will regulate my emotions to the point where I'm on the high high ground. It brings me back down to earth and even when I'm very sad, it rejoices me. And then the man went he got a frame and the frame said that will also end.
>> So to the point where you're at your lowest that ends and when you're even at your happiest that ends. So don't let any of those make you make decisions that will make you be stuck in an area that is terrible.
>> Preach over Kabisa. We have a wise pastor man.
Anyway, yeah, I think that's it. And my mother saying don't ever depend on any man. Guys, my mother is the definition of lady boy.
>> Okay.
>> I want I want first to repeat the advice that she had for us. Can you go ahead and repeat it for us?
>> That one I said, oh yeah, be confident and always stand out in a good way.
>> First and Karen, thank you.
>> A, >> you're welcome. Okay, can I say something?
You didn't >> uh 2G 2G >> 2G 2G.
>> Okay, let me start. 2G 2 G 2G 2G 2G.
Thank you.
>> Anita, Anita, Anita, Anita, Anita, my girl.
>> Hey guys, can can you play this game?
Can you play this small game? How do we hold? I'm a I'm a I'm a Okay, like let me give you a beat. I'm a chint [ __ ] chint.
>> I'm a chint chint chint.
>> I'm a chint chint chint.
>> I'm a C. I'm a I. I'm a N. I'm a T. I'm a A. I'M A CHINT.
I'M A >> I'm a I'm an N. I'm a I A >> I'M A FIRSTY FIRST.
I'm a F. I'm a I. I'm a R. I'm a S. I'm a T. I'm a Y. I'M A FIRST.
>> I CAN'T KEEP A BEAT UP, SO I WON'T BE PLAYING.
I'M A T.
I'M A T.
I'm a T. I'm a I'm a I'm a I'm a >> I'm a I'm a G.
>> KAREN KAREN.
>> I'M A KAREN. CAREN. I'M A K. I'M A E.
I'M a R. I'm a E. I'm a N. I'm a E. I'M A CAR. CAR.
PODCAST.
WE NEED MORE TIME. I'M a podcast. I'm a p I'm a P I'M A P I'm a I'm a I'm a I'm a I'm a I'm a I'm a I'M A I'M A I'M A I'M A I'm a I'm a I'm a >> more tell me more.
>> You're tell me more.
>> I'm tell podcast.
>> I'm a podcast.
I'm a >> I'm A MEMO.
I'M A PODCAST.
I'm a kid. I'm a >> I'm a podcast.
>> I'm a I'm a I'm a me.
>> I'M A I'M A
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