trans people shouldnt have to exist

Ajouté : 2026-05-27

[00:00:03]Hello. It is another day on Earth. I hope you're doing well. I remember a post from Adam something. I don't remember when. It was talking about how some languages don't have gendered pronouns.

[00:00:18]Being someone who only spoke English, I was oblivious to this ever being a reality.

[00:00:26]I grew up under the premise that everyone is referred to as he, him, or she, her. Fast forward to my early 20s, and I met someone I'll never forget.

[00:00:38]This person forced me to reconsider how to think about pronouns and presentations.

[00:00:44]That's what I want to talk about.

[00:00:49]At least in the western world, we are all raised under the premise that every person is slowly molded to present themselves a certain way as they grow up.

[00:01:00]When I say they present a certain way, I mean how other people physically see them, their bodies. In my head, I can see myself as a brain blogger who is smarter than everyone else. But other people will never see that because it isn't in my physical presentation.

[00:01:24]How I feel can sometimes be perceived by my physical presentation, but more often than not, nobody on the street will ever know how you feel. I currently feel the worst I have in my entire life. Yet, not a single person seeing me in my therapist's waiting room can tell that I am inherently slender person, weighing around 150 lbs at 5'11. Depending on the clothing I wear, which is an inherent part of the presentation I mentioned earlier, people will perceive certain things about me. If I wear a Spongebob shirt as a 23-year-old, most people will perceive me as juvenile. If I wear shorts with a 12-in inseam and fishnetss, people's perception will likely be much more polarized than a Spongebob shirt.

[00:02:18]Some people may think I am gay, others may be transgender.

[00:02:22]Some might simply think I mentally unwell or just not really care. While people can't easily perceive my feelings for my presentation, people do actively perceive stuff based on my fashion choices. Yet, in the shorts and fishnetss, none of the perceptions people would have of me can be fully accurate. I could very well be a straight man who simply likes wearing that type of clothing, a crossdresser.

[00:02:48]I say this to lay the foundation as to why a person's presentation is never an accurate read on the person. It is an unreliable narrator.

[00:03:01]As mentioned previously in the western world we are raised to present a certain way as we grow up. I was raised as a man in the most basic sense. I got to work on cars. I did yard work. I played basketball. I got muddy. Was loud and rambunctious. I wore awful fashion. And to this day I have no idea what colors clash and go together. My partner was the only reason I ever started wearing something other than the most boring clothing. My mom once told me that I parted my hair on the wrong side and that men part their hair on the other side. I've never worn makeup, feel awkward around people I perceive as not men, and I can't find the By all textbook definitions, I am a man.

[00:03:47]I was raised with this perception of what a man is, and for the majority of my life, I lived by it. I never questioned my gender and I felt safe in my embarrassing lack of physical masculinity.

[00:04:01]In the 21st century, we see a continual expansion of what people present as.

[00:04:06]Today, more and more people are blurring the lines of what the traditional gender presentations.

[00:04:13]There are men who like to wear traditionally feminine clothing and vice versa.

[00:04:18]Someone who grew up in a traditional family, admittedly struggled to figure out how to make sense of it all.

[00:04:25]I had slowly become loose friends with people of varying genders, including some transgender individuals.

[00:04:33]Many of us can relate to being unsure how to treat them because of the inevitable complexity of people who blur the line in the world of black and white.

[00:04:41]I sure was confused because of personally I didn't really want to date someone with a penis regardless of their presentation. Publicly I had fully accepted them as the genders they wish to be. No harm, no foul. But behind that, I struggled with figuring out how to really feel about them. At the end of the day, it remains true that transgender people are different from their cisgender counterparts.

[00:05:07]One day, medical science may progress to a point those differences no longer exist, but the present is the best we have for now. This left me wondering if there is ever a world where transgender people could happily exist until medical science rendered them irrelevant, and I could not be considered transphobic if I was hyper straight.

[00:05:30]I started dating a girl in late 2020 and it marks the day I sold my soul for a cupcake. After a couple months, she broke up with me because she felt happier being a lesbian. Fast forward 1.5 years and she messages me again saying she'd like to try again. A few months go by and eventually she comes out as something that would sentence my life to a relationship I haven't made sense of even today. She had transitioned to being a boy and the real reason behind the breakup was not having fully figured out his gender identity.

[00:06:06]This resulted in a very difficult situation for me because I still considered myself straight yet I really really still liked this individual as a person. Well, what I didn't know at the time, today I can bring up an article called Looking for Alice, which contains a quote. Someone once asked Gertrude Stein if she was a lesbian. Stein answered, "No, I just like Alice."

[00:06:34]This concept personally describes how I feel about this person. I don't feel like I'm gay. I just like this person.

[00:06:42]This boy was very complicated because he wanted to be a transgender fim boy.

[00:06:48]In layman's terms, he wanted to identify as a boy but still wear feminine clothing, effectively a crossdresser.

[00:06:57]Considering his physical traits, it was a very uphill battle to be perceived as a boy despite still wearing skirts and crop tops. I wanted to give him a world where he could actually achieve that, but I didn't know how to.

[00:07:11]Tying back into presentations and transgenderism, I finally realized how to create a world where my partner could exist as a transgender fim boy. And my thesis, transgender people shouldn't exist, sorry, shouldn't have to exist.

[00:07:30]Going back to languages that don't contain gendered pronouns, what if the world wasn't gendered in the first place? This was the best way I could come up with to lay out a world where my partner could feel like himself until it was medically possible to give him the body he felt home in.

[00:07:48]If people were never raised to present as boys or girls, people would never experience dysphoria in the first place.

[00:07:55]If you wanted to wear a certain type of clothing, you could. The inevitable physical difference between the two sexes can still be maintained because what is between your legs no longer dictates how you present yourself in the world.

[00:08:11]I do believe it would be a better world for everyone if gender stereotypes were no longer forced onto the youth. Someone like myself who still struggles with bottling up emotions and being stoic instead of vulnerable wouldn't experience it in the first place because I would have never been raised under those manly expectations.

[00:08:31]woman would no longer be subjected to toxic feminine beauty standards because the concept of femininity would no longer exist.

[00:08:39]Despite that, I can still feel fine being attracted to wastes and squishy thighs because ultimately those are no longer womanly traits. Dating already works off the concepts of liking people's traits such as being funny, outdoorsy, independent, dependent, and so on. Removing man and woman and instead just presenting physical traits to me seems like a much healthier alternative.

[00:09:06]Closing out, I will know what my partner told me about this idea in which accepting it felt somewhat defeating because this premise throws away all the progress trans people have made fighting for their right to existence.

[00:09:19]Being someone who is not trans, I cannot speak on this front. I respect the bravery of being yourself, knowing countless people out there would happily see you lynched and cheer on your suffering.

[00:09:32]I will never know how it feels to live every day with that shadow.

[00:09:37]This is why I ultimately leave this as a thesis, not a finished solution.

[00:09:43]I know that I do not share the experiences of a transgender person.

[00:09:47]However, progress is not made through silence. I throw my thesis out to the world knowing it will be picked apart, probably ridiculed, and so on. However, I hope that it can lead to discussion between our fellow humans to make a better world for ourselves, our friends, and our children.

[00:10:09]Thanks for listening. I'm going through a really dark period in my life after this boy left me.

[00:10:16]Feels like everything I worked towards over the past three years has evaporated in one day.

[00:10:23]I go back to a video from Lewis Rossman talking about how to make the world a better place and you just make your little corner of the world a better place.

[00:10:37]Now, I never really felt like I had a world to make better. So, I always wanted to make somebody else's better.

[00:10:43]And now without that person, I've really struggled to um figure out how to how to to do that.

[00:10:55]That's that's all I really have for this. I'm hoping I will make more talking about this than just with standard boring webcam format. I right now I read from a script, but I I have more stuff I want to talk about. And at this point, I'm just going to put it out there, you know.

[00:11:15]>> Mhm.

[00:11:17]There's a lot of pressure when it comes to putting yourself out there and just saying things, but I want to keep the world moving forward. And right now, I'm not doing much with my life. So yeah, I I just want to see if I can't gain something for my my self-worth and and talk about all the stuff I think about because yeah, I don't have much else I'm doing anymore.

[00:11:45]I hope you guys have a nice day.