Man Sues His Wife for a Child Support Refund

[00:00:00]So, how does it not occur to you to have a paternity test done? I know it doesn't occur to you because you want him to be the father cuz he's the stable one and he's the responsible one and he's the one who will pay child support.

[00:00:16]>> I have been led to believe a lie. My ex-girlfriend has told >> How long did you two date?

[00:00:22]>> We dated for a total of three years, your honor. Off and on.

[00:00:25]>> And where did you guys meet?

[00:00:27]>> We have been friends since high school.

[00:00:28]We didn't date in high school, your honor, but towards the end after we had both graduated, we had a lot of mutual friends and a lot of mutual circles that we ran in and and we just ended up dating as adults.

[00:00:40]>> Okay. And um at what point in time during those three years that you dated did she become pregnant?

[00:00:46]>> That was not until after we had moved in, your honor. Um >> moved in together.

[00:00:49]>> Yes, your honor. That's correct.

[00:00:50]>> Okay. So, she gets pregnant and you guys stop dating.

[00:00:54]>> No, ma'am. About a month into her living with me, she told me she was pregnant.

[00:00:58]And that was when we decided that we were gonna have this baby and raise the child together.

[00:01:03]>> How long after that did you guys break up?

[00:01:05]>> A year, your honor.

[00:01:07]>> So, right after the baby was born.

[00:01:08]>> And why did you guys break up?

[00:01:10]>> We were on a great positive streak for a while, your honor. And then after the baby was born, we started having awful fights again. And we both agreed that it would be better for her to move back in with her parents.

[00:01:21]>> Okay. At any point in time, did you do a paternity test? No, ma'am. Not at the time.

[00:01:26]>> If you guys were on again, off again, what was happening during the off again?

[00:01:29]>> Um, during the off again, we were both seeing other people, your honor.

[00:01:33]>> So, why wouldn't you um want to have a paternity test done when she says she's pregnant?

[00:01:38]>> At at that time, your honor, I fully believe that the child was mine. There was no other >> based on what? Stardust. Like, if you know that both of you are seeing other people in all the off-again moment, you knew you were seeing other people, right? Why didn't you have a paternity test done?

[00:01:55]>> There's something in me that I just knew.

[00:01:57]>> You don't know. Neither one of you know.

[00:01:59]And the worst part is it's not like she stepped out on you. You actually knew she was seeing other people. And yet none of you none of you go out there and have a paternity test. Okay. How long did you parent the child before you found out that it wasn't yours?

[00:02:11]>> Uh, a year and a half, your honor.

[00:02:12]>> Right. So, I imagine you developed a bond with this baby. Is it a girl or a boy?

[00:02:16]>> Girl, your honor.

[00:02:17]>> And you thought this was your little girl?

[00:02:18]>> Yes, ma'am.

[00:02:19]>> How did you figure out it wasn't? We were at a barbecue at her mom's house.

[00:02:23]Um, her family and I have known each other for years. We've been very close for a long time. And during that barbecue, um, her grandmother actually was was drinking a lot and let something slip to a group of people because >> what was it she said?

[00:02:36]>> She was shouting, "Just look at him.

[00:02:38]Everybody knows. Everybody knows. Just just look at him."

[00:02:41]>> Oh, that's what grandma said.

[00:02:42]>> Yes, ma'am. She was She was saying that loudly to a group of people and I overheard her say, "Everybody knows it's not his. Just look at him."

[00:02:48]>> Wow. I thought grandma was out of it.

[00:02:50]Grandma's the one who queued you into it.

[00:02:52]>> Yes, ma'am.

[00:02:53]>> Okay. So, what did you do?

[00:02:54]>> I at the time was just caught off guard by it, but then I started to feel some misgivings. I had a lot of We had had a lot of trust issues in the past with our relationship. After the grandmother implied that, I took that as a cue to do some further research and I I went and got a paternity test done shortly thereafter.

[00:03:12]>> And what did it say?

[00:03:13]>> It said that I'm not the father.

[00:03:15]>> Okay. And so, how do you tell her that?

[00:03:18]I was sick to my stomach. I was awful as you understand. Like I was already raising this child for a year and a half. Thought the child was mine. Was blind to everything else because I was so excited about being a dad. My own parents are divorced. So I didn't want to have this child grow up without their father.

[00:03:36]>> How did you then contact her and say, what did you say?

[00:03:40]>> I called her and and just asked her, "Is this true?" Like, "Do you have anything to say about this?"

[00:03:44]>> And what did she say? She said it was it was all made up that I was the father.

[00:03:48]There was no one else that it could be.

[00:03:50]>> Wait, but I'm sorry. Didn't you confront it with a DNA test?

[00:03:52]>> Yes, ma'am.

[00:03:52]>> And what'd she say? DNA shmea.

[00:03:54]>> She just said that's not possible. Like there's no other >> What's going on, Miss Brown?

[00:03:59]>> I was in shock. I had no idea. I mean, >> well, how could you not have an idea?

[00:04:03]You understand how biology works, right?

[00:04:05]>> I was on birth control. We were safe.

[00:04:08]>> Did you have an idea that you slept with him and another person within several weeks? I can't hear you.

[00:04:15]>> Yes.

[00:04:16]>> Right. That is not like Okay. So, how does it not occur to you to have a paternity test done? I know >> it doesn't occur to you because you want him to be the father cuz he's the stable one and he's the responsible one and he's the one who will pay child support.

[00:04:34]But you I don't understand how you don't ask for a paternity test when it wasn't a secret that she was dating and seeing other people. I do not understand.

[00:04:45]>> I like the way the judge handled this situation and she was able to see through everything that actually happened. And I think she was completely right when she said the reason the young woman decided to make him the father was because she knew he was the stable one.

[00:04:59]He was the one who probably had the structure and was willing to be a present father for her child and that is why she chose him. But that is not right. It was also perfect when she mentioned that he enabled this situation by not requesting a DNA test when he knew there was a possibility he wasn't the father. The good part is that grandma didn't let it go. She actually did him a favor when she made that comment.

[00:05:24]Women know she could have been forward.

[00:05:28]How did grandma know and she didn't?

[00:05:31]It doesn't matter if she knew. Trust me, that girl knew she slept with someone else, and there was always a chance she could be pregnant from him. He paid for a kid he thought was his. He needs his money back.

[00:05:44]If the grandmother knew, she knew.

[00:05:47]It's such a simple law to have. Anyone who gets put on a birth certificate gets a DNA test.

[00:05:53]>> So, both of you just say, "Well, this is how we want it to be, so this is how it's going to be." Did you know he wasn't the father?

[00:06:00]>> I had no idea. Do you know who is the father?

[00:06:04]>> Yes.

[00:06:05]>> Well, have you taken that person to court to start paying child support?

[00:06:09]>> I don't even know how we would do that.

[00:06:10]I don't even know how to get in touch with him. I heard that he >> You just have like a vague memory of who he is.

[00:06:14]>> That's right.

[00:06:15]>> You don't think your daughter has a right to know who her actual father is?

[00:06:18]>> She has a >> She just has a right to know who you want the father to be.

[00:06:22]>> No, that's not what I'm saying. She has a bond with this man who's been there for her since before she was born. Your daughter's not really at the age of cognition season. She probably lights up because that's who she is is familiar to her. But it seems to me like both of you really should have gotten to the bottom of this about a year and a half ago. And neither of you wanted to do it. Neither of you had the stomach to do it. You just wanted it to be true. And then you set up and played house and then that didn't work out. You still didn't have a paternity test. It's bizarre to me. But um do you have any evidence that she deliberately defrauded you? that she knew you weren't the father.

[00:07:01]>> No, no, no, your honor. Not other than the fact that we had been doing a co-parenting situation for over a year and a half before I >> But so were you. You were doing that, too. My question to you is, do you have any evidence that she knew and lied and defrauded you rather than that both of you were, as we say in Spanish, tap, you're covering the sunshine with one finger like that? Oh, the son's not there.

[00:07:30]>> No, your honor. She She had ample opportunities to >> So did you.

[00:07:33]>> I didn't know that she was sleeping with other people after.

[00:07:36]>> I'm sorry. You knew she was seeing other people >> after we had moved in, your honor. We The timing was after like a month after she had moved in. Then she said she was pregnant. So to me, I was like, there's no other way that could be anybody else because she had ample opportunities after she got pregnant.

[00:07:51]>> Apparently, >> she had time to tell me things, ma'am, and let me know that. Why didn't you, if you knew, if you knew because you did, you already told me that you knew that she was seeing other people. Why wouldn't you demand the paternity test?

[00:08:04]Everybody within the sound of my voice, if someone tells you they're pregnant, demand a paternity test.

[00:08:09]>> Yes, ma'am. We We had just had such history together, I took her at her word, and that was on me. That was my mistake.

[00:08:14]>> What do you mean? She doesn't know. What does she have some magical powers to know who the father is? she had time to let me know that she had misgivings, your honor, or let me know that you this is a possibility.

[00:08:24]>> I agree. I agree. I think that unless she really never paid attention in biology class, she should have figured it out. She should have tried to figure it out because it's important to your child for you to figure it out. But in her head, probably the best thing she could do is make you the father.

[00:08:39]>> That's a valid point. There was a strong possibility she got pregnant and then decided who she would make the father of that child. And that is not the right order of things. It's just wrong to choose the child's father based on who you feel is better suited to take care of your baby. It's not fair to the guy or the child. The whole dynamic of their relationship was really complicated from the start. But without a doubt, she knew this guy wasn't the father.

[00:09:07]When people make these poor decisions, they usually don't consider how it will affect those involved. Looking at everything that was said so far, it became difficult to believe that she never thought about the possibility that someone else could have been the biological father.

[00:09:23]>> Yes, ma'am.

[00:09:23]>> And praying you're the father until you're not. Unfortunately for you, the law is that unless you can prove that she defrauded you, meaning she knew you weren't and pinned it on you anyway, not she slept with more than one person, that's not enough. She knew you weren't and pinned it on you anyway. That's the only way that you can get your $7,200 back. If it turns out that she's just clueless and mistaken, you can't get the money. Can't order her to pay you the money back. I'm curious though, have since you determined that you were not the father, did have you seen the child or no?

[00:10:05]>> No, your honor, I have not. I was in a state of bliss when I found out. I've always wanted to be a dad. I ran with that and and committed to that. And then when I found out that she had basically been lying by omission and not telling me the whole story and not expressing anything, clearly her grandmother knew that something was going on.

[00:10:22]>> How did grandma sit around talking about, you know, your what's with grandma?

[00:10:27]>> I have no idea.

[00:10:29]>> Have you ever talked to her since then?

[00:10:31]Does she know you're here? Like, does she know where all this >> lawsuit? We can hardly stay in the same room now.

[00:10:38]>> Who? and grandma at her.

[00:10:40]>> She can't believe she It's speculation, gossip in the family.

[00:10:44]>> Yeah, but something must have led them to to speculate and gossip.

[00:10:48]>> They gossip about everyone.

[00:10:50]>> Wow.

[00:10:50]>> That to me is the evidence, your honor, is that there's no there's no way someone would have just made that up and just fabricated that unless she had told someone else or expressed concern that, hey, this is a possibility. I don't know who my child's father is.

[00:11:04]That's a valid point and it should be enough to prove that she knew about it.

[00:11:09]It would invalidate the claim that she was unaware because if the grandma knew, it means a lot more people were also aware of it, including the child's mother. And to be honest, as he mentioned, there is a strong possibility she was the one telling her family members that she didn't know who her child's father was. And if that is the case, he should get his money back because it would prove that she intentionally made him the father, knowing the child belonged to someone else. So, she needs to give him his money back.

[00:11:41]>> And she didn't say anything like that to me at all. She was fine when I was paying $600 a month.

[00:11:46]>> Did you ever have any idea that it wasn't him? I can't hear you.

[00:11:49]>> No. No, your honor.

[00:11:50]>> So, why did your grandmother have an idea? She just looked at him and looked at the baby and said, "Oh, they don't even look alike." When you're in an on again offagain relationship and someone tells you they're pregnant, run don't walk to the nearest DNA test.

[00:12:04]>> Yes, ma'am.

[00:12:05]>> It's not enough for her to just be irresponsible. You have to be able to prove to me in a court of law that she knew you weren't and lied. And that's not present here. My verdict in this case is for the defendant.

[00:12:18]>> All rise.

[00:12:19]>> Judge Milan has ruled in favor of the defendant. The plaintiff's case is dismissed.

[00:12:26]Regardless of what happened here today, [music] you have a daughter at home and she needs you.

[00:12:30]>> I think you know what you did and things didn't work out. The money is gone now, but it is what it is and I hope I hope you make some changes and I wish you the best.

[00:12:40]>> I can't agree with the judge because I think they both truly thought the baby was his. As women, our bodies change, ovulation changes, and sometimes the doctors are off on the conception dates.

[00:12:51]With that said, I do disagree with the judgment. she should take responsibility and pay him back unless he plans to be involved still.

[00:12:59]She knew all along judge made the wrong call.

[00:13:03]I've seen other judges make the woman pay the money back without absolute proof. So, I guess it's up to the judge ruling at the time. Unfortunately, it's not always fair.

[00:13:13]I disagree with the judge. I felt she knew as soon as the baby was born.

[00:13:18]I don't think he got fair outcome.

[00:13:21]She surely knew. If her grandmother or someone else knew, she knew 100%.

[00:13:28]I didn't like the conclusion of this case because I still believe he deserves to get his money back, especially when it became evident that her family member knew he was not the father. So, that crucial information should be taken into account to determine that she knew about it all along and decided to keep it from him. The funny part was when she told him, "Regardless of what happens, he should know that he still has a daughter at home and she needs him." And I liked his response to that.

[00:13:58]What surprised me the most about what she said was the fact that by making that statement, she was showing that the child's real father is not present. I think she just got involved with a guy who doesn't want anything to do with her or her child, but she should have thought about that before making that decision. Now, it has become even more evident why she decided to make this guy her child's father. She knew who was the responsible one. And as the judge mentioned at the beginning of the video, it seems like she planned everything because she knew who the real father was from the start. Now, let's check what the law says about this type of case.

[00:14:34]In the United States, family courts almost never refund child support payments already made, even if testing proves a man is not the biological father. Family law operates on the principle of the best interests of the child, meaning money already paid is legally considered spent on the child's care and upbringing and cannot be recovered through the family court system. However, a father can take immediate steps to protect himself moving forward and potentially seek alternative legal remedies. While a father cannot easily get his past money back, he can completely terminate his obligation to make future payments by disestablishing paternity. He must immediately file a formal request to disestablish paternity or terminate the parent child relationship in the family court that issued the original support order. The court will typically order an official accredited genetic test because home kits are usually not admissible in court. He must also continue paying child support until a judge signs an official order stopping it because stopping payments early can result in heavy legal penalties, including wage garnishment or driver's license suspension.

[00:15:41]Another important factor is that timing is incredibly critical because states place strict deadlines on how long a man has to challenge paternity after discovering the truth or after the initial order was placed. In many states like California, a man only has 2 years from the child's birth or from signing a voluntary declaration of paternity to contest it. In states like Texas, a man has one year from the exact date he discovers he is not the biological father to file a petition. If he misses these state specific statutory windows, the court may permanently lock him in as the legal father, forcing him to pay support until the child turns 18, regardless of the testing results.

[00:16:21]Because family courts will not issue refunds, a man's only viable option to get his money back is to step out of family court and file a separate civil lawsuit for fraud or intentional infliction of emotional distress against the mother. If he was paying support voluntarily without a court order, his chances of winning a civil fraud case against the mother are much higher. If the money was paid under a legitimate existing court order, civil courts are highly hesitant to interfere.

[00:16:47]To win, he must prove the mother knew or had strong reason to know. He was not the biological father and intentionally lied to financially induce him. If the mother genuinely believed he was the father, fraud cannot be proven. Even if he wins a civil judgment against the mother, collecting the money can be nearly impossible if she does not have the financial assets to pay him