The Pursuit of Happiness: America’s Great Promise

Added: 2026-05-30

[00:00:00]On today's episode of Timeless Wisdom.

[00:00:03]>> The Declaration of Independence statement that we are all endowed by our creator with certain inalienable rights and that includes life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.

[00:00:15]The pursuit of happiness.

[00:00:17]There are two arguments made against the pursuit of happiness, at least two, and you may have some and you can call in immediately if you don't like the phrase pursuit of happiness.

[00:00:26]So, I'm going to defend it and tell you how to do it.

[00:00:30]One argument is happiness is a byproduct of other things. So, if you you have to pursue other things in order to get happiness.

[00:00:40]>> That's coming up on Timeless Wisdom with Dennis Prager.

[00:00:44]>> One Nation Under God. Here's Franklin Graham.

[00:00:48]>> I'm inviting [music] you to join with us and to pray for America. Pray that we as individuals [music] and as a nation turn to the God of our fathers, the God of the Bible.

[00:00:58]>> As we approach America's 250th, [music] join Franklin in praying for our nation every day. A new prayer is posted [music] daily at onenationundergod.com.

[00:01:08]Invite your friends [music] and family to pray, too. onenationundergod.com.

[00:01:15]>> Welcome to Timeless Wisdom with [music] Dennis Prager. Hear thousands of hours of Dennis's lectures, courses, and classic [music] radio programs. And to purchase Dennis Prager's Rational Bibles, go to dennisprager.com.

[00:01:28]>> It's the happy, happy, happy >> Be happier. You didn't expect [music] that, folks. You didn't. You always think I'm going to come in on the second one.

[00:01:36]Hey, everybody. Welcome to the Dennis [music] Prager Show, the Happiness Hour.

[00:01:41]Let's go crank that up. Let's get that band blasting away. Yes.

[00:01:45]Come on, everybody. [music] I want you to clap even if you're driving.

[00:01:49]Oh, no. Wait a minute. Oh, no. Oh, no.

[00:01:51]Don't clap if you're driving.

[00:01:53]The sound [music] of one hand clapping, Buddhist. It's the happy, happy, happy, happy Yes, it is. It's the happy Hi my friends, come hell or high water, frogs, lice, vermin, [music] splitting of the No, no, splitting of the seas is a good thing.

[00:02:08]I got trapped in my biblical references.

[00:02:11]Any of the 10 plagues, any of the 20 plagues, 46 plagues, no matter how many plagues we talk about happiness at this hour because happy people make the world better and the world is made worse largely by the unhappy. I'm sorry about that, dear unhappy people, but it is time to stop feeling bad for you.

[00:02:31]Everybody has a tough life. Some have a tougher than others.

[00:02:35]I acknowledge that, but there's no relationship apparently between how tough they've had it and their happiness.

[00:02:41]And that's the point. All right, everybody, this is Dennis Prager. This is the happiness hour.

[00:02:46]And today's topic is the const Not the Constitution, the Declaration of Independence statement that we are all endowed by our creator with certain inalienable rights, and that includes life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.

[00:03:04]The pursuit of happiness.

[00:03:08]There is a war against the pursuit of happiness among many who say you can't pursue happiness. What What do you mean? Well-intentioned people, by the way, believe that.

[00:03:18]You can't pursue happiness.

[00:03:21]That it it it just comes.

[00:03:24]There are two arguments made against the pursuit of happiness, at least two, and you may have some, and you can call in immediately if you don't like the phrase pursuit of happiness.

[00:03:33]So, I'm going to defend it and tell you how to do it.

[00:03:37]One argument is happiness is a byproduct of other things, so if you you have to pursue other things in order to get happiness.

[00:03:48]Which, by the way, has a lot of legitimacy. That's fine, but you're still pursuing happiness even though you're pursuing other things. I'm going to tell you what other things to pursue so that you get happiness. That's that That's the whole point.

[00:04:00]The other argument is people say, "Hey, you can't pursue happiness. Happiness happens."

[00:04:08]You can't pursue happiness any more than you pursue good weather.

[00:04:12]Weather happens, happiness happens.

[00:04:15]Sometimes you feel happy, sometimes you don't feel happy. You can't pursue it.

[00:04:21]But you can.

[00:04:23]The founders were right, and God bless their memories, because they were, in fact, so right about this. Life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness. All right, now.

[00:04:37]How do you do that?

[00:04:39]All right, you might want to mark this down, but if you can't, you can always, of course, get a recording of this what we call a podcast at prageradio.com. All my shows are available for downloading afterwards. All right. Now, how do you pursue happiness? First of all, I want you to know that you have to.

[00:05:02]You have Now, I didn't say pursue fun.

[00:05:05]I didn't say pursue excitement.

[00:05:08]No. No, that's not the pursuit of happiness. By the way, part of wisdom is to know In fact, it's a major part of wisdom is to know what brings people happiness.

[00:05:19]That's the whole point.

[00:05:22]Therefore, I want you to ask as often as possible when making a decision, and you should teach your children this.

[00:05:34]Not only should we always ask, "Is this an ethical? Is this a moral act?" Of course, we ask that. That's obvious, but the show is not about ethics and morals.

[00:05:42]The show is, but the this this hour each week is not. It's about happiness.

[00:05:46]Sometimes they they they interlock, sometimes they're separate subjects.

[00:05:52]But you should raise your children and raise yourself to ask, will this make me happy?

[00:06:03]That is a very different question of does this feel good at the moment?

[00:06:09]The moment that you in fact that your kids can learn and and we are older kids, the moment any of us can learn to separate feeling good at the moment from happiness, half the battle, but just half, but still half is a lot of the battle for happiness has been in fact uh won.

[00:06:33]You ask, will this make me happy?

[00:06:37]And I'll tell you, I mean, I'm there were there were any number of example before before you eat a given food.

[00:06:45]Before you have a dessert, will this bring me happiness? Now, by the way, sometimes it will.

[00:06:51]Sometimes the pleasure there is is lasting, the looking forward to some dessert will, the whatever that I'm not saying it it will always be the answer will always be no, not at all.

[00:07:04]On the other hand, if if you are overweight, the happiness of being of a good weight is greater than the happiness of having dessert.

[00:07:15]Or the joy of having dessert.

[00:07:19]Now, those of you contemplating having an extramarital affair, ask aside from the moral question, is it right? That's the obvious one, but even in terms of happiness, will this make me happy?

[00:07:30]Not will it feel good during those hours.

[00:07:35]If it didn't feel good during those hours, nobody would have an affair.

[00:07:39]That's obvious, but ask yourself and and and really really seriously ask yourself, will it bring you happiness?

[00:07:50]Uh girls at the college before they they hook up with a guy in another meaningless sexual encounter should ask will will I be happier as a result of of of a meaningless sexual encounter?

[00:08:06]Not will it feel good at the moment or or is it what's expected of me in the in these in this post-feminist age or whatever it might be or because I was raised to believe this drivel that I have the same nature as a man, same sexual nature.

[00:08:20]No no no, none none of those. Just ask, will it make me happier?

[00:08:25]Because the evidence that promiscuity does not make females happier is is enormous. It's enormous.

[00:08:34]I'm not talking, remember this is not an hour on moral values, an hour on happiness. I'm not making the appeal on moral values. I'm making it solely on the issue of happiness.

[00:08:45]18 Prager 8776 is the number. 18 p r a g e r 776.

[00:08:53]And I am I am offering a defense for the Declaration of Independence phrase pursuit of happiness.

[00:08:59]And the fact is you can pursue happiness and you ought to.

[00:09:04]I wish people pursued happiness more.

[00:09:10]And it is not in conflict with pursuing goodness, which is my my greatest value.

[00:09:17]On the contrary, I believe that good people ultimately are happier.

[00:09:25]And I The word ultimately is pretty important because at any given moment doing the right thing may not make one happier or may not bring one pleasure. That is true. There is sometimes self-sacrifice in doing the good thing, obviously.

[00:09:41]So, ask those questions.

[00:09:44]Ask. Yes, and then you can pursue. Now, the argument, "Well, come on, Dennis.

[00:09:49]You can't pursue happiness because happiness is always a byproduct of something else."

[00:09:54]That's fine.

[00:09:56]I I have no problem with with that statement. But, the something else then you have to know what that is so that you'll be happy. That's all. You've only deferred the pursuit by by one degree.

[00:10:09]Okay, yes. So, so happiness is a byproduct of other things. Fine. What are those other things?

[00:10:18]That's that's the question. And and that is one of the things that I talk about here.

[00:10:23]One one example is close friends.

[00:10:26]Close friends brings happiness.

[00:10:29]That's correct.

[00:10:31]So, therefore, if you pursue having close friends, are you pursuing happiness? Yes, of course you are.

[00:10:39]But, it's true. You can't pursue happy What you can't What happiness is not in the next room where you bundle it up and and and take it. Of course not.

[00:10:47]But, I I have been a long time advocate in people pursuing friends like they pursue spouses.

[00:10:55]It's It's You should.

[00:10:58]Date for friends like you've date like you dated to find a husband or wife.

[00:11:03]Absolutely.

[00:11:05]And I mean same-sex friends here.

[00:11:09]That's an example of pursuing happiness, but you're pursuing something else.

[00:11:13]Pursue passions.

[00:11:16]I have mentioned so often the more passions you have in your life, hobbies, interests, cares for others, the happier you will be.

[00:11:26]Those These are all elements in the pursuit of happiness.

[00:11:31]One definition of wisdom.

[00:11:33]>> [music] >> How's this? And you know how much I value wisdom.

[00:11:37]One definition of wisdom is knowing [music] what will bring people lasting happiness.

[00:11:45]18776, it's [music] not just a feeling. I'll explain that when we come back and take your calls and questions on the happiness hour on the Dennis Prager Show.

[00:11:57]>> This episode [music] of Timeless Wisdom will continue right after this.

[00:12:03]>> One nation under God.

[00:12:05]>> Here's Franklin [music] Graham.

[00:12:07]>> I'm inviting you to join with us and to pray for America. Pray that we as individuals and as a nation turn to the God of our fathers, the God of the Bible.

[00:12:17]>> As we approach [music] America's 250th, join Franklin in praying for our nation every day. [music] A new prayer is posted daily at onenationundergod.com.

[00:12:27]Invite your friends and family to pray, too. onenationundergod.com [music] >> Are you enjoying Timeless Wisdom? We'd love to hear from you. Call 877-243-7776 [music] and leave a review, share your thoughts, or just even an encouraging word for Dennis. Your voicemail might just make it on the show. That's 877-243-7776.

[00:12:50][music] That's 877-243-7776.

[00:12:54][music] Thanks for listening and for your support.

[00:13:01]Now, [music] back to more of Dennis Prager's Timeless Wisdom.

[00:13:05]>> A little louder. I want to hear these guys. They I love this.

[00:13:12]All right, everybody all together.

[00:13:17]I want to hear you, folks. I want [music] I want singing across the country.

[00:13:25]>> [music] >> Do you think they were happy when they sang this?

[00:13:27]Yeah?

[00:13:29]>> [music] >> All righty, life goes on indeed. Dennis Prager here, and the alternative is not charming.

[00:13:37]So, appreciate it if you have your life.

[00:13:40]I'm Dennis Prager. This is the happiness hour, and I am making the case for something that is out of fashion, absolutely out of fashion, the pursuit of happiness.

[00:13:51]And and and there there there are people there were traditionalists, there were non-traditionalists, there were leftists, there were rightists, people from all walks of life have problems with the concept of the pursuit of happiness, but the founders were very wise.

[00:14:05]And it's a very good idea. Yes, you should pursue happiness.

[00:14:10]When when understood properly, of course you should.

[00:14:14]There are no arguments against it. Give me a really call up if you have a good argument against the concept of pursuing happiness. Well, Dennis, you know, you can't pursue happiness, it's always a byproduct of something else. Then pursue the other things.

[00:14:25]>> [laughter] >> It's it's correct me up. It's like I I want to think of an example.

[00:14:30]Uh give me anything where you always get the byproduct of something, but you will of course know that, and therefore you get the thing that gives makes the byproduct.

[00:14:42]I Here's this. [clears throat] We need oxygen, correct? We need oxygen.

[00:14:46]One of the things that gives us oxygen, you can't pursue oxygen, you have to produce things that make oxygen, like trees.

[00:14:54]Right? They take in carbon dioxide, they give us they give us oxygen. So, plant trees.

[00:15:01]It's true, you can't pursue oxygen, so what we do is we pursue things that make it.

[00:15:09]I mean, that's true for most things in life that they can't be pursued directly.

[00:15:14]It's like a baseball team pursues a win. They don't pursue a win, they pursue hits, they pursue a good pitcher, they pursue 50 different things to produce a win.

[00:15:26]Everything in life is produced by something else. Every end that we want, of course that's true. So but it doesn't negate that that's what you want.

[00:15:37]And as for the argument, well you can't pursue happiness, you either feel it or you don't. Well this show and my book and my lectures on happiness are are are an attempt to undermine that notion.

[00:15:48]Our feelings are created by us in part.

[00:15:51]Of course there are times you Look, there are days that I wake up and I can't believe why why am I sad today?

[00:15:57]I I've no good ree- I don't know but I'm really I pursue I That's a good topic by the way.

[00:16:03]We've done it before. I'll do a variation on know thyself.

[00:16:06]Cuz when I do feel bad, the single deepest urge I have is to figure out why.

[00:16:14]I have a friend who makes the the point that a lot of people have uh a black boxes in the in the in the in them in them.

[00:16:23]And that others if you don't have access, that's a great subject by the way, the black boxes. That's that's a good one. Alan, write that down.

[00:16:31]You know, I'm starting to get self-conscious here with the Alan, write that down. You know, what you did to me at the roast is is is unconscionable.

[00:16:38]Unconscionable.

[00:16:40]And then then 700 people going, "Dennis, write that down." I was traumatized.

[00:16:45]But that's a very good one. Yes, so I am here advocating the pursuit of happiness.

[00:16:51]All right, 18 Prager 776, two callers just fell off the earth.

[00:16:55]>> [laughter] >> So we'll go to other callers right now.

[00:16:58]18 Prager 776.

[00:17:01]And we begin with La Puente, California and James. Hi James, Dennis Prager.

[00:17:07]>> Hey Dennis, how you doing?

[00:17:09]>> Thank you, well.

[00:17:10]>> Um yeah, uh uh what I wanted to I read a book and uh I think it's called Waking the Giant Within by Tony Robbins. I don't know if you read it or not, but he equated all decisions to either to avoid pain or to gain pleasure. And basically his analogies are like instead of you take drugs to avoid pain and but getting off drugs would gain pleasure.

[00:17:33]And he said people do more to avoid pain than to gain pleasure.

[00:17:38]And we equate pleasure to >> again, having not read it, I can't comment on Tony Robbins' approach cuz it would be unfair to him, but I can say that avoiding pain is a terrible way of pursuing happiness.

[00:17:51]Because everything that brings happiness has the risk of pain.

[00:17:56]>> I agree.

[00:17:57]>> Okay?

[00:17:58]>> Right, but I didn't in the way I meant it that he says that people avoid pain not to gain pleasure or to gain happiness. They do it instead of because it's easier.

[00:18:09]>> Yes, exactly. I agree. That's why I said earlier, and I thank you, James. That's why I said earlier that knowing what brings happiness is one of the definitions of wisdom.

[00:18:23]It's exactly right.

[00:18:26]So, I am I I I am defending here the pursuit of happiness as a goal. It's not the only goal, but as a goal in life, absolutely. And no of the none of the arguments ever offered to me are arguments that that hold up.

[00:18:41]Well, Dennis, it's you can't pursue it because it's always a byproduct of something else. That's right.

[00:18:46]So, then pursue the something else's.

[00:18:49]And then and then you'll bring it. Okay.

[00:18:51]Now, let's go to William in San Diego, California.

[00:18:58]William, Dennis Prager, hi.

[00:19:00]>> Hey, Dennis. Thanks for having me on.

[00:19:01]>> Thank you for calling.

[00:19:03]>> Oh, by the way, I I gave my pastor your book "The Pursuit of Happiness."

[00:19:08]Um >> You mean you you mean you mean "Happiness Is a Serious Problem"?

[00:19:12]>> Yes.

[00:19:12]>> Yeah, that's the book. Good.

[00:19:13]>> And he is using it for a series that he's doing.

[00:19:16]>> Oh, I am so pleased. Thank you.

[00:19:19]>> So, you have ripple effects, as you know.

[00:19:21]>> I I hope so. I hope so. Go ahead.

[00:19:24]>> Well, I I was um you know, I've heard you talk about the subject a few times and I I always feel like you're a little remiss in a bit remiss in in propounding your philosophy with with especially when you have such a wide uh secular audience. Um when you kind of couple it a little bit from uh basically what a lot of, you know, religious people have taken for granted, which is they know the Ten Commandments, they know, you know, the rules and guidelines that they get from their their Bible or or uh the Torah or or or wherever.

[00:19:55]And I give the analogy of, you know, I think your philosophy is great as if you if the analogy is you're on a highway and you're pursuing long-term happiness and so you're you're meandering around cliffs and and roads and gorges, but there's a very easy possibility to detour and go off a cliff if you don't know what the guidelines are, what the the rails are that are going to keep you on that road.

[00:20:19]>> I I couldn't agree more. That's what I said was wisdom.

[00:20:22]Wisdom tells you what the road to happiness involves.

[00:20:26]>> I mean, a child will think, and I think a lot of adults are just really big [music] children.

[00:20:32]A child will think that they're happy by not eating vegetables. [music] They'll they'll they'll totally >> Right. I I I agree. That's why I said you have to make the distinction between what feels good and what brings happiness. We're in total agreement. I don't know where we differ.

[00:20:45]Uh did did did you follow Alan where we differed? I I I don't know either. I So, >> [music] >> maybe, you know, send me an email and where you you can expand on it a bit more.

[00:20:55]Uh but that is exactly why I'm doing this hour right now is to explain [music] that the pursuit of happiness is not the pursuit of pleasure, not the pursuit of a certain mood, not the pursuit [music] of fun, excitement, but it is a good thing to pursue. I'm Dennis Prager, we continue.

[00:21:09]>> This episode [music] of Timeless Wisdom will continue right after this.

[00:21:16]One Nation Under God. Here's Franklin [music] Graham.

[00:21:20]>> I'm inviting you to join with us and to pray for America. Pray that we [music] as individuals and as a nation turn to the God of our fathers, the God of the Bible.

[00:21:30]>> [music] >> As we approach America's 250th, join Franklin in praying for our nation [music] every day. A new prayer is posted daily at onenationundergod.com.

[00:21:40]Invite your friends [music] and family to pray, too. onenationundergod.com.

[00:21:48]>> Now, back to more of Dennis [music] Prager's Timeless Wisdom.

[00:21:53]>> It's so important to make someone happy.

[00:21:57]Make just one someone happy.

[00:22:01]Make just one heart to heart you sing to >> [music] >> one smile that cheers you, one face that [music] lights when it nears you, one girl you're your everything >> [music] >> to >> Dennis Prager here on the happiness hour every week at this time I devote an hour to happiness because the happy make the world better and the unhappy don't.

[00:22:37]Sorry, unhappy ones.

[00:22:39]We uh we all have crises and uh we can't inflict it on other people.

[00:22:48]And I'm not talking about feeling, I'm talking about the way we act, although feeling is deeply influenced by how we act. Today's subject is the pursuit of happiness, defending the Declaration of Independence. A lot of you believe that you can't pursue happiness.

[00:23:04]That it just it it it's either a feeling that happens to you.

[00:23:09]No more controllable by us than than if we get a cold, if you will.

[00:23:16]Or or what the weather is.

[00:23:19]Or we can't pursue happiness, the argument is given because it is only a byproduct of other things. So, even if that argument is true, and it is largely true, doesn't undermine my argument. All I'm All I would ask is let's figure out what those other things are.

[00:23:36]Because happy happiness is a worthy end.

[00:23:40]It is a worthy end. For those of you religious, and I am religious, don't you think God wants you to be happy?

[00:23:49]What kind of God is it that you would believe would would make us and not want us to be happy? I am that is a worthy of its own hour, by the way.

[00:23:58]Cuz I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I never very rarely. I bring I bring I bring religion in to everything, but I I but I don't bring it into the happiness except to to note periodically that religious people are happier.

[00:24:11]But, I want to do something else another time and show you that happiness is a religious value, not just a secular value.

[00:24:24]How could you believe that God doesn't want us happy?

[00:24:28]Kind of God I mean it's so interesting because you end up wondering do If you don't think God wants you happy, and I want and I believe God does want you happy, do we believe in the same God?

[00:24:41]I mean I mean it's not meant to to be challenging. It's just a I you wonder at a given time.

[00:24:50]I didn't say God wants you to be rich.

[00:24:53]Or God wants you to have you know, what what whatever it might be materially although I have no problem with with people buying things and so on. I in fact one of my columns was a defense on the quote-unquote commercialization of Christmas.

[00:25:10]I think the idea that people buy people gifts once a year is a beautiful thing.

[00:25:14]I I never understood why that's ugly.

[00:25:18]I really don't. I don't understand.

[00:25:21]But that's a separate time. We'll we'll do that another time of the year without question.

[00:25:27]Yes, pursue happiness, but know how to do it. Okay, let's go to Roy in Medford, New Jersey. Roy, Dennis Prager, thank you for calling.

[00:25:37]>> Hi Dennis. Oh my gosh, thank you so much for taking my call. You're awesome. I love listening to your show.

[00:25:42]>> Wonderful. Wonderful. Thank you.

[00:25:44]>> And I just I have to break my anonymity by saying first of all that I'm an alcoholic in recovery. I got sober in 1996.

[00:25:52]>> Congratulations.

[00:25:53]>> Thank you so much. And I have to say that the byproduct of sobriety has been the absolute happiest happiest life I I ever imagined. I never even managed imagined that it could be so good.

[00:26:04]>> Right. I'm sure you couldn't cuz because happiness for the alcoholic is the next drink.

[00:26:12]>> For for that that poor soul that's still out there, I I feel bad for >> I I should say yeah. I should say for the non-recovering alcoholic cuz you are an alcoholic. Yes.

[00:26:20]>> Yep. Yep.

[00:26:20]>> I I know I know I know the language and and I appreciate that. Go on.

[00:26:24]>> Thank you. I just wanted to say that it has freed me up to be all the things that I think God wants me to be and that is a father a son a husband >> Mhm.

[00:26:34]>> and it has given me so much time to do the things that that really >> But but it But it is a daily battle, is it not?

[00:26:42]>> Absolutely. One day at a time. That's the way we do it.

[00:26:44]>> That's right. One day at a time. And and and you are the living example of what even those of us who have not had an alcoholic problem. Everything is one day at a time in a battle. For whom is happiness not a battle? That's why I want people to pursue it. God bless you, Roy.

[00:27:01]We are all We are all analogous. That's why I love 12-step programs because we we all have our analogy. And for every one of us, there's a battle.

[00:27:11]What? A battle?

[00:27:13]>> [laughter] >> About 10 battles.

[00:27:15]Of course it is.

[00:27:20]And And by the way, it's why I do the male-female hour and talk about male sexuality.

[00:27:25]Every guy is a recovering uh adulterer. [music] All right? I'm not saying they all committed it, but the point is that's their battle.

[00:27:36]We'll be back in [music] a moment on the happiness hour.

[00:27:44]>> Are you ready to find the love of your life? Go to eharmony.com and get matched with other singles that are compatible with you at the [music] very deepest levels. eharmony.com.

[00:27:54]Log on today. Send and receive [music] faxes directly from your computer with efax. Go to www.efax.com, click the TV radio tab, and type in Prager.

[00:28:07]>> [music] >> You're listening to the Dennis Prager Show. This is the happiness hour and I'm making [music] the case this this week on this edition of the happiness hour for the pursuit of happiness that indeed you should. It's not something that just comes over you like the rain. You can't pursue rain. I agree. It either happens or it doesn't. That's how about half the population sees happiness. It either happens or it doesn't.

[00:28:35]And a good portion of the other half believe you can't pursue happiness because it's a byproduct of other things which you pursue.

[00:28:43]As if the two are contradictory statements.

[00:28:47]If indeed happiness is the byproduct of other things that you pursue, then we should find out what those things are and pursue them so that we get happiness.

[00:28:56]Happiness is a worthy end in and of itself. It is a good thing.

[00:29:01]It is a good thing to be. It honors God.

[00:29:03]It honors your life.

[00:29:05]It brings joy to all of those around you. It makes a better world. But other than that, I can't really make a strong case for how important happiness is.

[00:29:15]St. Paul, Minnesota. Chris, hello.

[00:29:16]Chris, Dennis Prager. Thank you for calling.

[00:29:19]>> Hi. Thank you so much, Dennis, for taking my call. Um I went through a divorce and I want very much to be happy, but I don't see how I can be without him.

[00:29:31]>> Mhm.

[00:29:32]>> And I know that you cannot depend on someone else for your happiness, but >> No, but if somebody had Look, there's There's no pain This is what people who have analyzed this have come out with, that there's no pain like the loss of a child, but there was no loss as devastating as the loss of a of a partner.

[00:29:53]>> Right.

[00:29:53]>> So, plus you have the double whammy of you loved him, apparently.

[00:29:58]>> Yep.

[00:29:59]>> And he and it's not that he died, but he left you.

[00:30:03]>> Right.

[00:30:03]>> Right. That's terrible. It is.

[00:30:06]When did it How long ago did it happen?

[00:30:08]>> Um March.

[00:30:11]>> Oh, so that's it's it's it's recent.

[00:30:14]Very >> Yeah, but he asked for divorce in June of 2006.

[00:30:20]>> And so what happens from June 2006 till today or till March?

[00:30:25]>> Well, we we I was so devastated I couldn't um do anything and then he gave me that time.

[00:30:34]Um and then we lived together for a year and a half before we sold the house. And so, um you know, I'm a little bit further behind, I think, on >> What what reason did he give?

[00:30:44]>> Well, it it had a lot to do with my depression and it just over time, um, him believing that I didn't care enough about the marriage to get help.

[00:30:54]>> Mhm.

[00:30:56]>> I'm sorry. Um >> No, it's terrible. It's My my heart breaks for both of you, frankly.

[00:31:01]>> I I know it could have worked. Um, and uh I I you know, I guess he got depressed, too. If he had said anything earlier, I would have done anything.

[00:31:11]>> Yeah.

[00:31:13]>> But I don't know how to how to >> Okay.

[00:31:16]All right.

[00:31:16]>> know how to see happiness ahead.

[00:31:18]>> Right. Okay. Let let me, uh Can you talk now or would you rather me just do the talking?

[00:31:25]>> No, no, I can talk.

[00:31:26]>> Okay. First of all, uh do you have children?

[00:31:30]>> No, we were we were actually trying to, and so that's another loss.

[00:31:35]>> Yeah. Well, how old are you?

[00:31:37]>> I'm 45.

[00:31:38]>> Yeah. Well, by 45, the the odds are are reduced considerably. So, I don't know if that's any consolation, but but all right. I just wanted to know if there were children involved. That's both it's both a blessing and a curse.

[00:31:50]>> Right. And we had thought about adopting, too. So, we >> Right. That's true. You certainly could have done that. But but but but please know it's both because with with children, divorce is far more complex and usually more painful. On the other hand, with children, then you still have a child that that could be ultimately some bring some happiness. Although I don't believe in relying on kids to bring happiness.

[00:32:13]What you need to do now, I will tell you what you need to do.

[00:32:17]I'm not saying it's easy, but I know what you need to do.

[00:32:20]Your the image of your life has been shattered.

[00:32:26]>> Yeah.

[00:32:26]>> Correct? The image you had for what will make you happy, a life with this man.

[00:32:31]>> Mhm.

[00:32:32]>> What you need to do is construct a new image of your life. A another image you have a lot of years left in you. You are essentially still a young person.

[00:32:44]>> Right.

[00:32:45]>> So, you have to know and I'm I can only talk to your mind. I can't talk to your emotions. Emotions are emotions, but to your mind I want to address this.

[00:32:54]You construct a new image without him.

[00:32:59]It's painful. It is difficult. You have to go through a period of mourning because it is if it there's something did die. Not just the marriage. The image died.

[00:33:11]That's a very hard thing.

[00:33:14]And you should mourn it as if it were a person dying. And then at a given point you you have to construct a new image because there are many ways to be happy.

[00:33:27]This is what you must know.

[00:33:29]Being married to Being married to him is not the only way for Chris to be a happy woman.

[00:33:35]>> Okay.

[00:33:36]>> I acknowledge that that is one way. That way has ended.

[00:33:41]So, now Chris has to make a new way to be happy.

[00:33:46]Here is the good news, my dear friends.

[00:33:50]There isn't only one way to achieve happiness.

[00:33:55]The way the world is structured, there are a number of routes to happiness.

[00:34:02]What That route has been blocked off.

[00:34:04]For many people routes are blocked off.

[00:34:08]And so, they construct new routes or find new ones. They may not even have to construct them.

[00:34:15]Is this easy? No. I don't know what about life is easy.

[00:34:20]But that's what has to be done.

[00:34:24]And I I I wish you good luck. There are a lot of There's a lot of pain in the world. It's a statement that I came up with a long time ago that if pain were water, the world would drown.

[00:34:34]That is true. Why do you think I devote an hour to happiness each week? It's because I know how much there is.

[00:34:48]You're listening to the [music] Dennis Prager Show.

[00:34:51]We have another segment on this happiness hour.

[00:34:55]And there are [music] people there are times when I speak to a caller and give a piece of advice and I'd love to hear from them a year later.

[00:35:05]So, Chris, it's [music] an invitation to hear from you a year from now.

[00:35:09]I'm very uh I'm I'm very hopeful for [music] you.

[00:35:12]We return. You're listening to the Dennis Prager Show. This episode of Timeless Wisdom [music] will continue right after this.

[00:35:23]>> One nation under God. Here's Franklin Graham.

[00:35:27]>> I'm inviting [music] you to join with us and to pray for America. Pray that we as individuals and as a [music] nation turn to the God of our fathers, the God of the Bible.

[00:35:37]>> As we approach [music] America's 250th, join Franklin in praying for our nation every day. A new prayer is posted [music] daily at onenationundergod.com.

[00:35:47]Invite your friends and family to pray, too. onenationundergod.com.

[00:35:55]>> Now, back to more of Dennis [music] Prager's Timeless Wisdom.

[00:35:59]>> This is the Dennis Prager Show, the happiness hour.

[00:36:02]>> [music] >> Let me try to take as as many calls as I can. I've been I've been defending the notion of pursuing happiness. You should.

[00:36:13]It doesn't just fall over you.

[00:36:16]Good feelings just fall over you like the rain, but happiness is work that.

[00:36:22]That's why I do this show every week to give guidelines on how to in fact achieve the ends of that pursuit, namely happiness.

[00:36:31]And to Dallas, Texas and Mike. Hi Mike, Dennis Prager.

[00:36:35]>> Hello.

[00:36:36]>> Hi.

[00:36:36]>> Hi, how are you?

[00:36:37]>> I'm well.

[00:36:37]>> I'm interested in uh the area of livelihood, how to seek happiness in the area of livelihood. I've suffered a lot of frustration in that area.

[00:36:45]>> There are two things that matter in livelihood for for happiness.

[00:36:50]Uh uh meaning Uh uh meaning is the and enjoyment.

[00:36:58]If you have both, you've hit the uh you've hit a lottery. You've won a lottery.

[00:37:04]Uh there are jobs that are enjoyable but not terribly meaningful. There are jobs that are meaningful but not terribly enjoyable.

[00:37:12]And but if you can have at least one of those two, now there is a third element and that is monetary compensation because people are are are if for a million dollars, people would take a job that they neither enjoy nor is meaningful.

[00:37:25]Uh people I I assume that a great number of Americans uh would uh would scrub toilets for a million dollars a year.

[00:37:33]Something they would not find either terribly meaningful or or particularly enjoyable. So, I guess there are three elements and if you have one of those three, you you should have some happiness. If you have two, you should have a lot and if you have all three, uh you should uh thank God every day on your knees. But but if you don't have one of those three, uh it's it's bad news.

[00:37:57]>> Okay. And in my particular situation, if I've been trying a lot of efforts in pursuing that and can't seem to find it and I'm seeking employment right now and I feel like I've everyone's saying I'm doing all of the right things, where do I turn then? And also I've been more involved in using faith as a guideline to seek that happiness.

[00:38:17]And trusting in faith.

[00:38:20]>> Faith is a is a Faith and religion are very powerful factors in happiness, but they may they they don't necessarily answer the problem of what you're going to do for a living. I think people ask sometimes too much of of religion, and then they wonder why it failed them because but we've we've asked what it can supply.

[00:38:40]I'd like to know what you have tried and and whether or not there are very few things that you could enjoy. I think there are many jobs I could enjoy.

[00:38:49][music] >> On tomorrow's episode of Dennis teaches the Torah.

[00:38:52]>> For years I have been stymied by a question, and I came up with the answer last week.

[00:38:59]Here is the question that has always stymied me.

[00:39:02]When I would speak about human animal differences or and and distinctions and so on, one of the common things that you hear uh especially among animal devotees is uh animals only kill other species, they don't kill their own. The only species to kill its own specie is human. You hear that all the time.

[00:39:25]And it always struck me it has always bothered me not bothered me emotionally, it bothered me intellectually that there was a weakness to that argument, but I could never figure it out. And here it is staring me in the face for all these years that I'm talking about this.

[00:39:42]For for us the human being, the other specie is not leopards and zebras, it's another ethnic or racial group.

[00:39:54]That's our equivalent of other specie.

[00:39:59]For the human being, for a Canaanite, an Egyptian was as is as foreign as unreal, if you will, as a as a mosquito would be to a lion. You just swat it. It has no worth.

[00:40:14]Now, you then raise you still have the issue of the what about all the maltreatment of your own group? Okay, that's that's a separate issue which obviously is a terrible commentary on humanity. But the real evils in history have overwhelmingly been against other groups. They are not real. I told you is the Torah's greatest law I am convinced as I get older. The greatest moral achievement of the Torah is you will love the stranger.

[00:40:42]It is to be found nowhere as as far as I know.

[00:40:45]>> Come back tomorrow for Dennis Prager's signature series on the first five books of the Bible. Dennis teaches the Torah.

[00:40:51]This has been [music] Timeless Wisdom with Dennis Prager. Visit dennisprager.com for thousands of hours of Dennis's lectures, courses, and classic [music] radio programs and to purchase Dennis Prager's Rational Bibles.

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