What Is Your Addiction Solving?

Ajouté : 2026-06-07

[00:00:00]You may have heard me say this on the show. I don't beat people up for drinking or for struggling with sex addiction or pornography addiction because often those things are the actual solution to the real problem. So, what is he solving for in your life? A fear of loneliness, shame, a fear of I'm this old and this is as good as it's going to get? What what is he solving for in your life?

[00:00:17]>> All of those things. There's also in that same vein the fear of vulnerability. It scares me to death to think about having to open up to someone new. This man knows me to have to open up to someone new. There's the fear of rejection and not being loved for who I am and what I come with. So, it's just easier if I have part of someone who [clears throat] I don't have to hide my stuff from than to think about having to get to know someone all over again. I get that. And the way you just described that is 100% addict talk. I've had that exact same conversation trying to talk to somebody about going to rehab. And they don't want to rebuild their life over again.

[00:01:03]They don't want to meet new people. They don't want to come up with new life rhythms, changing how they interact with the world. And they're like, "Dude, I can just have a drink and it all stops."

[00:01:12]You you you have to come to the conclusion yourself that you're worth more than this. I I just don't know that I can process any more change, any more upheaval. I don't know that you can carry the burden of this anymore. And so, what I want to tell you is change is coming. This ends badly. This ends in heartbreak and deception. And this ends in ash. There's no way this works out in the end. And so, for you, change is coming. Do you want it to be on your terms towards whatever light you want to head towards? Or do you want it to be on somebody else's terms and pile more shame, more guilt, more exposure on this thing? You think it's vulnerable now?

[00:01:45]Wait till she finds out and puts it all over everywhere. This will come to light. I would rather you be holding the flashlight when it does.