This video from 8 At The Table explores how society disproportionately blames single mothers for their sons' behavior while ignoring the accountability of absent fathers, highlighting that mothers can still raise responsible sons through discipline, consent education, and positive role modeling regardless of the father's absence.
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Are Single Mothers Raising the Men They Wish They Had? | Everybody Blames Single Mothers…Added:
It's not like a woman woke up and was just like, "Ugh, I got my baby. Let me get this out of here." No, like >> to do it on my own so bad.
>> I don't think anybody's asking to do it on their own. I just don't.
>> the bus with my kid.
>> The moms, the black mom is always blamed whether the father is there or not. And that was a good point and when he said that, I was like, "Ah." Cuz I do that all the time. If I think that a man is just just doing the most, he's not really right. I'll be like, "Your mom must be so disappointed. Like, how did your mom raise you?" I always think about how a mom raised a son and not how his father raised him.
>> But why is that? Is it because >> know.
>> It's the way we're socialized.
>> Yeah.
>> It's It's simply I I I think it's simply the way that we're socialized.
>> Is it Is it like you believe that because you wouldn't think a man would like would act like that because there's no man in the house? Like, if you had If you had your father, you wouldn't act that way.
>> both men that I've that I've actually had that uh thought process with, both had fathers in the house. But still, I thought about the mother and how they were raised by her.
>> Interesting.
>> Why the [ __ ] are we talking about [ __ ] that these men don't want to hear? We have misogynist viewers.
We don't want to They don't want to hear that.
>> Oh, you guys are not You're wrong. Like, let's just talk about what the point is.
>> I don't want to repeat.
>> So, say what he said or some [ __ ] I don't know.
>> Okay. So, our producer just says that the reason why girls are raised differently and are pulled inside and protected and not the boys is because girls are more easy.
And we're talking sex here. Girls are more easy.
>> That's what the producer just said.
>> the producer says.
>> Yeah, he said it.
>> Girls aren't raised differently because they're [ __ ] >> No, but it doesn't matter.
>> but it's not It's not nice.
>> also, but do you know why men Okay, hold on. Hold on. Do you know why men have such high body counts?
>> Girl, they don't care.
>> It's because as soon as they start [ __ ] at young ages, mostly, they just start they get excited and they can do it here and they can do it here, they can do it here. They and they're all over the place. And it's celebrated, right? And now they're doing it from middle school, high school and nobody is protecting them from doing that. They might have a a little talk with them and say, "Make sure you're wearing a condom." Nope. Or not.
You know, and and they are capable of getting 15 girls pregnant. I don't know why you said that that's unlikely. It is very likely. They are capable of doing that.
Why we are not raising young boys >> to be responsible and disciplined, yeah.
>> them from the same things that we are protecting little girls from is actually insane.
>> I agree. I 100%. Like >> I agree, too. I hope you got what Amanda said. I don't know you I don't know if the camera's is the camera's over there?
Okay. Um and I think that is literally the context of where this entire situation comes from.
So, if we fail to raise So, when we say raise, we're like we're training, we're instilling, we're building, we're doing everything to make this young girl be a woman who can function in in normal society.
Why would we fail to do that for the young boys?
>> Cuz all of it is right.
>> And I know you want to say that the problem is men and I'm supposed to be like that.
>> no, no, no, actually I actually don't.
My my No, hold on, hold on.
I don't.
>> [cough] >> Excuse me, I actually don't want to say the problem is men.
While I think it starts with the father not being there, I think that the way that women >> I was just about to say that.
>> who decide, wherever they get this ideology from, but like where however they decide to raise their son, it's still on it's still on that woman.
Because you can still raise your son to be respectful.
You can still raise your son to to understand consent. You can still raise your son to be disciplined. You can still raise your son to be a Like I say all the time, a decent [ __ ] human being.
Like I just And I'm not putting this on I'm not I'm not putting cuz I don't want this to like be an attack on on on mothers and fathers or whose whose >> who are single mothers.
>> Yeah.
>> Yeah.
>> Like but but but not because of their own doing.
>> Mhm.
>> Like the [ __ ] left, it is what it is.
I don't I'm I'm not putting that I I don't want this to seem like I'm putting that on them.
>> But the people are going to say why did the [ __ ] leave?
>> Ignorant question anyway, but >> I'm not saying I'm saying >> This narrative exists because there are mothers that baby men.
>> Yeah.
>> Exactly. And can I Can I say >> Go. Yeah.
>> Am I doing too >> Go ahead.
>> it?
>> Not this time.
>> Y'all mind if I Okay.
>> I'm going to hit her.
>> So [laughter] >> This time go ahead.
>> Like I might actually rock her.
[laughter] >> NO.
>> ROCK HER.
>> I FEEL like um I feel like in the son-mother relationship, I think sometimes the woman is trying to be the friend or they're trying to have a close with the with the son.
And I think that sometimes you try to maintain a relationship with your child, with your son, that maybe you failed when it came to other men.
So I think that you ever heard the term where you have women who treat their sons like they're their man?
>> Yeah, exactly.
>> Is that the Oedipus Oedipus?
>> Okay.
>> Okay.
>> Right. Okay. So I not even that the woman is in love with with her son in that way, but I think it's more yeah, like this is the man in my life. This is the man that I want to have a close relationship with. My relationship with other men have failed.
I don't really know why, but I'm going to mold this relationship the way that I see fit for myself, more selfish than than uh uh beneficial to your son. And I think that um >> And then men become mama's boys.
>> mama's boys and they look to their mother because she's more >> like they can do no wrong.
>> Right. You look to your You look to your mother because you know she's always going to have your back. She's always going to She's the person that has built this relationship between you and her um where you're the man in her life that she has that that special bond with.
Let's lay that to rest, okay? I understand what you've seen or heard or whatever heard from your homies, brothers, cousins, whatever, but I want to lay this to rest. I want to do this for the culture.
>> Please.
>> Stop making it seem like the woman is just the person to blame for all of these uh single parent homes.
Let's really take accountability for what you did in that relationship.
That's it.
Did you cheat on her while she was pregnant? Did you drive her car to another chick house while she was at work?
>> Jody!
>> What did you do in that situation that made her resent you so much? The girl didn't just have a great pregnancy and push out of a baby and start being mean to you.
A situation happened and I need men to stop pretending like something did not occur for her to be bitter. She had this hope and this dream that she would either be a wife or she would have a happy home with a present father.
Something occurred. Now, I'm not saying all this to say I'm not saying all this to say that men are not wrong, but what I am saying is that as a woman who knows a lot of women and who has seen a lot of women get mistreated during their pregnancy or anything during the the the whole beginning and and and end of the relationship of birth, we got to stop making it seem like oh, the woman, she needs to No, sometimes you it's not just the woman's fault, and that's what I hate because >> That's fair.
>> men will make it seem like this woman is crazy.
>> We even though women are almost always blamed for the the father not being there. Like let's be real. It's not It's not like a woman woke up and was just like ugh I got my baby. Let me get this [ __ ] out of here. No, like >> I want to do it on my own so bad.
>> anybody's asking to do this [ __ ] on their own. I just >> I want to take the bus with my kid.
>> Yeah. Whatever the circumstances are that the father is not active because you can not be with a mother and [snorts] still be a very active father.
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