I Watched White Women Confront Their Racist Parents. Here's What Shocked Me.

Added: 2026-05-13

[00:00:00]I am leaving tomorrow.

[00:00:02]Okay. And I feel very unsafe with you guys.

[00:00:07]What do you mean? I gave you a little small wallet. I gave you headphones.

[00:00:10]Yeah, and if that's if if then then I don't need your stuff. My my issue is is like I know Dad talked to you guys, but like I'm really not okay with your guys' like racist remarks.

[00:00:22]And >> racist. That's such a That's such a stupid joke. No, no, first of all, the joke is We never do it to No, no, no, no, no.

[00:00:30]The joke is rooted in racism. No, no, no.

[00:00:35]No, Ben, for me this is like we either talk about this and there's growth or I don't have a relationship. That's where I'm at right now.

[00:00:43]And so I I take that very seriously. I told parents that. They might disagree with me, but for me It's not a problem, Ben. It's about treating people, huh?

[00:00:53]No, well, I'm not the person walking around calling any everyone by the N-word.

[00:00:58]That That's in your vocabulary as a white man. Okay. And by in my spirit, I'm a black man.

[00:01:06]That's not funny.

[00:01:07]>> I'm a homie in my spirit. That's not cool. It is cool. No, it's not, Ben. Oh, yeah, it is.

[00:01:15]End of story. No, it's because it was That's not That's not helping That's not helping the situation either, like No, no, no, like No.

[00:01:31]No, I am traumatized because No, you're playing the victim. No, I'm not.

[00:01:37]How you talk about other people, there has to be equality to that.

[00:01:41]>> I do have equality.

[00:01:42]>> You know you don't. Throwing the N-word around as a white person, do you know what the N-word even represents?

[00:01:48]>> [music] >> Hold up. My N-word is called a joke.

[00:01:53]Yes. He walks away. Yo, come back, man.

[00:01:57]He walks away.

[00:01:59]That's crazy.

[00:02:00]For me, I I already had a lot of conversations with parents about this. What happened the other day is not funny. And the issue is is that this has been this this is happening This isn't new in our family. Uh the remarks and you know, Mom and Dad, we talked about this and whether there's agreements or disagreements with that, being raised the way parents were to look at black people and use the N-word is not normal.

[00:02:26]It was normal for them, but it it shouldn't be normal. To make jokes about that, I don't care if I'm white and you feel comfortable with me as a sister.

[00:02:34]That A, I feel very uncomfortable by that. No, Mom, I I'm calling I'm you're Now, that's a victim card. Because I'm calling you higher. And the thing that's crazy is Jesus was not a white person. And I believe it would be the very people like you guys to actually stone him and put him on the cross. Because No, because because Yeah, this is what I'm I'm having like I'm wanting to also have this conversation a little bit with Elijah cuz you're apparently spirit-filled and saved. So, I would enjoy this this is not something that would have stoned Jesus.

[00:03:12]It it was actually. What stoned Jesus was character, personality, and his way of of teaching. Jesus was a walking offensive person. Yeah, and he wasn't white.

[00:03:26]Uh uh uh and and and Jesus wasn't white.

[00:03:29]So, Again, I I don't I don't want to argue I And yes, that can happen and I don't I don't want to argue Christianity necessarily.

[00:03:44]No, you just can't be racist, period.

[00:03:46]Like How do you know I'm How do I know I'm racist to white people? I I I know.

[00:03:50]That's not my conversation right now. I Because right now I know you're being racist towards black people because See, I'm sorry, Dad.

[00:04:02]I told you this and I don't know if you believe me. No, no, no. No, no, but did you just hear what he said? I want to be racist towards white people. No, no.

[00:04:09]That's what he said. But at dinner at dinner he said that I'm I'm racist and I'm proud to be racist. That's what you said to me at dinner.

[00:04:18]That's what you Did you not say that?

[00:04:22]Stop. Don't twist that. You little You little snake. Elijah, we were talking.

[00:04:28]You're a snake. Do you know why? Because in that conversation you asked the question if there's a black person and a white person, who would which one would you shoot? You asked that. And after that Are you kidding me?

[00:04:51]My god.

[00:04:56]Oh. After that you followed that with I'm racist and I'm proud to be racist.

[00:05:04]Stop. You're twisting that. That's not what you meant. You're not You're not try And so to me again, I This is These are just like No, Elijah, we are not. How America is, if you are proud to be racist in America today and I guess to me I If you can't acknowledge how you talk about people being wrong, then I can't have a relationship with you.

[00:05:35]Elijah, you're talking about You're demeaning an entire group of people.

[00:05:42]Like And of course it doesn't affect you cuz you're white.

[00:05:47]And Mom's praying in tongues in the corner. Like that's going to do anything in this situation. It's not because praying in tongues isn't going to fix racism.

[00:05:59]No, don't tell me to calm down, Dad.

[00:06:03]No, I just me?

[00:06:06]Oh my god.

[00:06:08]No, Dad, we never fixed our conversation.

[00:06:11]We never did.

[00:06:14]No, actually, it's not enough because A quick question.

[00:06:18]What do you do when people who raised you say something that you feel it's very racist?

[00:06:25]It's very wrong.

[00:06:27]And you feel that it's going against the fundamental human principle.

[00:06:33]And it's not online.

[00:06:36]It's not said by a stranger. It's said by your parents.

[00:06:40]It's said by your family at that dinner table.

[00:06:45]And that moment when your stomach, you know, drops.

[00:06:50]And you're stuck between stay silent and, you know, thinking about should I speak up?

[00:06:57]If you're a white woman dealing with a racist family members, or if you're a white male dealing with a racist family member, or are you married, you are you you you are colored, you're mixed race.

[00:07:12]And you're, you know what, dealing with a racist family. Imagine you're not alone, and today we are talking about it. Actually, it's happening. And people are confronting it. So, what happens when now you think you are ready to tackle that matter.

[00:07:32]Welcome back to the channel. My name is Apala Evans. If you're new here, con- consider subscribing, like, and share with your friends. And also, you can help the video so that it can reach a greater audience.

[00:07:46]Hi, I'm Kylie and here are the top five ways that hatred is passed on in white families. This is definitely a topic that not a lot of white people like to talk about because they prefer to stay race neutral or at least not air their dirty laundry in public, but I do have some things that I want to say. The first way that white people pass on hatred to their kids is literally at the dinner table. I can't even tell you how many times I'd be at another white person's house growing up and their mom or dad would say something racist and look to their kid like like they made a joke and wait for the kid to react. So, in that way, the racist remark serves almost as a point of bonding between the parent and the child. The second way that it's passed on is in sports, especially if a white family or a white team is playing against a team that is primarily people of color. White people will say racist things. Did you see that defender? She was really aggressive and other microaggressions that get passed on to the child. The third way is by discouraging their children from being friends with people of color because of certain innate qualities that they may have. Number four, moving their kids to an all-white suburb. Number five, praising celebrities and politicians that are racist.

[00:08:46]So, today's video is real.

[00:08:49]It's very uncomfortable and very necessary for the world to move ahead.

[00:08:56]You know, imagine we are delving into viral stories of white women uh confronting racist parents and confronting racist family members.

[00:09:08]What those conversations, you know, sometimes look like is that what and figuring what worked, what will not work, or what didn't, and the emotional cost that, you know, people don't talk about their own issues. And then, I'll walk you through a political or a practical step-by-step way to handle such uncomfortable conversations in your own life without losing your voice, without losing your peace, without losing your cool.

[00:09:46]No, this is not about just about attacking a family because sometimes it feels like it's about the truth.

[00:09:55]It's about setting the boundaries and promoting your own self-growth.

[00:10:01]Let's get into it.

[00:10:05]I was raised by racists and I want to talk about how deep the racism is behind closed doors.

[00:10:12]It was so bad that I would literally get physically punished for listening to music by people of color.

[00:10:19]I was told that I needed to keep the bloodline pure and if I was caught dating a person of color that they would immediately disown me.

[00:10:30]I remember being as young as 4 years old and being asked why I wasn't friends with the white kids in my school and being told that those are the people that I need to be friend.

[00:10:40]Thankfully, I went no contact and I don't have to deal with their hateful beliefs anymore, but I want you to know that change is possible and you don't have to believe everything [music] that you were taught growing up.

[00:10:51]You know, let's begin with what it actually looked like in real life.

[00:10:57]One of the most viral examples came from a young woman named Halley.

[00:11:04]You know, this woman, you know, sat down with her parents and challenged their views on race and policing.

[00:11:15]And calmly and calmly, but firmly, that video blew up because, you know, people saw something rare, something not usual, a real conversation, not a perfect one, not the scripted one.

[00:11:36]But an emotional, tense, and honest conversation.

[00:11:41]And it's you know, it's inspirational or it inspired thousands of other young white people to start having that uncomfortable same conversations at their home place.

[00:11:56]Now, more recently, there's an ama- an- another amazing woman, Angelica Jennifer. Guys, she's blowing up on TikTok, on Instagram, on YouTube.

[00:12:09]You've seen even on Reddit.

[00:12:12]You know, her videos are raw.

[00:12:15]And she's not sugarcoating.

[00:12:18]In one of the clip that I've just shared, no, she directly tell her family she's not okay with racist jokes and comments.

[00:12:30]You can feel that tension.

[00:12:33]You can feel the discomfort that comes with it. And you can see the pushback that she faced.

[00:12:40]And she wanted to do it.

[00:12:44]And eventually, you know, she made the decision, that decision that, you know what, a lot of people don't want to talk about it.

[00:12:55]She went no contact. She cut off.

[00:12:59]She say enough is enough.

[00:13:01]Not because, you know, she didn't love her family.

[00:13:05]But because she refused to keep tolerating behaviors that she feels like they are very, you know what, they're very painful. The behaviors that she feel she will not tolerate.

[00:13:21]That she feels like they are going against her values.

[00:13:27]I went no contact with my family and last night my dad reached out. Let's talk about it. I've been in like fight or flight for the last 12 hours. It's really difficult because I think my dad knows that I have a soft spot for him.

[00:13:40]But at the same time, I have asked for no contact. I don't want to talk to them. I don't want to communicate with them at all. And he sent me a message via like a different account and he was like, "I'm going to keep making different accounts." He said they've seen the videos that I'm like ruining their lives, that him and mom [clears throat] are sick. "Why would someone ever do this? I never wish this upon anyone." Um but we love you and call us when you're ready.

[00:14:02]>> [laughter] >> And it's so hard and then like and also like we're not intentionally racist.

[00:14:08]And it's so hard because there's so much for starters, no accountability taken.

[00:14:13]Second of all, like we can't even acknowledge our the fact that how we communicate is so unhealthy.

[00:14:20]Third of all, I'm also not for meeting hate with hate. I can only imagine the messages they've got cuz I know I've gotten pew pew messages myself. So, that's also not my heart and I definitely want to put that out there.

[00:14:32]Like I cannot control how people respond and my goal is not to have people do that. At the same time, I've decided to share my story. I've decided to talk about what I experienced and my journey.

[00:14:44]So, like here we are. I don't regret speaking up or posting. I think I've just feel manipulated and crushed a little.

[00:14:53]But other than that, I'm fine. I don't know, we're working through it. So, yeah, it's just like >> [sighs and gasps] >> help.

[00:15:01]She also No, she also spoken openly about the grief that comes with that decision of what? Confronting it. Because, you know, standing up doesn't always lead to a change.

[00:15:17]Sometimes it leads to a distance.

[00:15:21]And the reality No, let's say this. If you want to watch those videos yourself, I think I'll attach the link in the description and the comment. But here's the pattern across all these stories.

[00:15:37]One, the conversation is always messy.

[00:15:42]The conversation is always emotional.

[00:15:45]And this conversation really ends in stand argument. It keep on repeating for ages.

[00:15:54]But for some people, staying silent, you know, feel even worse.

[00:16:02]Some people, you know, staying silent, they feel like, "No, it's not okay."