Throwing Up Blood & Still Drinking | Stage 4 Cirrhosis, Liver Transplant & 19 Months Sober

Added: 2026-05-12

[00:00:00]That was the scariest thing in the world. I mean, not just throwing up blood. I mean, projectile. It looked like the bathroom was a murder scene.

[00:00:16]>> Chelsea, I want to thank you for coming on. You are a miracle and you have 19 months sober. Yeah.

[00:00:25]>> You overcame drug addiction in 2012. You developed heepsi. It went untreated >> for years and you were drinking. Your drinking had spiraled and you had stage four cerosis of the liver.

[00:00:40]>> Is that did I say all that correctly?

[00:00:42]Okay.

[00:00:43]>> And you were on your way out.

[00:00:45]>> Yeah.

[00:00:46]>> You were on your way out and you I think you had said you had about 50 surgeries.

[00:00:51]>> 50 admissions to hospital at least.

[00:00:53]>> Oh my god.

[00:00:55]>> Mhm. So, okay, let's go to 19 months ago.

[00:01:00]>> Where were you at? Give us your rock bottom before you got sober.

[00:01:05]>> I've had a few rock bottoms, but this one was different. I had one I'm probably going to cry.

[00:01:14]I wanted to stop drinking really bad.

[00:01:19]>> Thank you.

[00:01:20]>> Keep it Keep it right over there. If you want, you can put it right on the table.

[00:01:23]Um, I wanted to stop, but I couldn't.

[00:01:29]But at the same time, my alcohol at the time, I thought wasn't affecting my life. I was able to function. Nobody confronted me on my drinking.

[00:01:43]Years prior, I had went to a really great treatment center that taught me cognitive restructuring. So, I was never in denial. I was never defensive about my drinking. I knew it was a problem. I knew it needed to be treated. I knew I needed to stop, but I couldn't. And it I think it was um a week before I stopped drinking that I wrote a suicide note to my daughter and I said, "I love you. Please do not think that this had anything to do with you.

[00:02:20]Please take care of your brother. Don't ever forget me, but your mom's just a little bit [ __ ] up. You know, there's just a screw loose, but don't ever doubt my love for you. And um I said, "I'm just so sorry. I can't stop." And um about a week later, I spoke to my mother's childhood best friend.

[00:02:43]Um my mom's no longer with us. She committed suicide seven years ago.

[00:02:47]>> I'm so sorry.

[00:02:49]And um life was hard for her, but I c so the childhood friend that my mom grew up with, her name is Rhonda. Call her my aunt Rhonda. And Aunt Rhonda said, "Chelsea, you I've never cursed at you. I've never yelled at you, but girl, you need to tighten the [ __ ] up. Put put on your big girl panties." And you either go give your kids a kiss goodbye and say you're sorry, you're done. you can't fight or you hug them and you tell them you're going to fight for them. And that's what I did. I went to the kitchen. I poured out what I had and that was it. And I still can't understand why that day was different than any other day.

[00:03:36]But um that was September 29th, 2024 and then November 11th because the liver whispers before it screams.

[00:03:51]So in in 2010 two Yeah. No, 2011 I got hepatitis C. I left it untreated.

[00:04:05]I stopped using drugs 2012 and then 2015 I picked up alcohol. Um so hepatitis C left untreated followed by 10 years of heavy drinking cerosis and now I'm in um we're in 2018.

[00:04:26]I have cerosis. They the hospital tells me I do and I continue to drink. And from 2018 to 2024, the symptoms just kept getting worse. Um, discoloration in my legs. I would have a sites, fluid buildup in your abdomen, fluid buildup in your legs, edema, exhaustion, like I can't even explain to lift my head up off the pillow. It was the worst feeling. And I just wanted to die. It was so bad. So, I stopped drinking and um the symptoms just kept getting worse and then I was hospitalized for six weeks and they tell me I need a new liver and in the so from November to December of 2024, I was in the hospital and then I started following directions from a doctor telling me what to do um all these tests, colonoscopy, endoscopy, papsmears, mammograms. I needed clearance for my heart. I needed clearance for my vision, clearance from dental. And in this time frame, I have all these other symptoms of cerosis that are now appearing. I started throwing up blood.

[00:05:55]That was the scariest thing in the world. I mean, not just throwing up blood. I mean, projectile. It looked like the bathroom was a murder scene.

[00:06:08]Oh my. I could still It was horrible.

[00:06:12]And um that's called esophageal veraces. It's like little blisters in your esophagus and they rupture and you can bleed out and die. And I almost did. And I was just getting rushed to the hospital all the time until I stopped drinking. But then I still had to deal with all of this with cerosis. It's just it was a lot.

[00:06:40]>> Now at any point were you given like an expiration date on your life at all by the doctor or was it just >> when when you went in in November, December of 2024, >> how much time did they give you to live?

[00:06:53]>> Three months. three months.

[00:06:55]>> That's it. And um there's something called a MEL score. A MELD score is a scoring system to determine the severity of your liver damage.

[00:07:07]Um six is the lowest for uh 40 is the highest. The closer you are to 40, the closer you are to dying. I was at a 35 and jaundice yellow. My eyes were yellow. Um, ascites, edema.

[00:07:26]It tasted like metal in my mouth, like blood. That's all I tasted. Um, hippatic and sephylopathy, a buildup of ammonia on your brain.

[00:07:38]Everything's disoriented, confused. I wouldn't make sense. I would forget where I was. I paid somebody at Target 20 bucks to walk me to my car because I was so freaking confused.

[00:07:52]and they tried to put me in hospice in December and um my wife said, "Hell no, you're not doing that to her. She's going to fight and she's going to be okay." And it was a fight. There were plenty times while waiting for a new liver that we thought this was it.

[00:08:14]>> Now, you had to have a liver transplant.

[00:08:16]When did you have that liver transplant?

[00:08:19]um just about 80 something days ago. Um >> it's three months ago. Yeah. Not even >> January 31st.

[00:08:26]>> Holy [ __ ] Okay. So, you have people who need liver transplants from natural causes and then >> you have people who need liver transplants because of whether it's alcohol, drug, whatever it is.

[00:08:41]>> Were you can you explain to us that process for you what it was like? Were you put on what was the the waiting process like?

[00:08:48]>> The transplant four months uh it took me to do complete all the testing that was needed. But mind you in this 4 months I still had to deal with all the symptoms of cerosis.

[00:09:01]So there was hospitalization after hospitalization which prolonged all my testing.

[00:09:09]I, like I said, I had to have my first test was a colonoscopy, endoscopy. Um, I had to go to an OB/GYN and get get clearance, mammogram, pat smear. Then I had to go to Tampa cuz Tampa was where I was transplanted. I had to meet the transplant team. I had to get approved.

[00:09:29]I had to show um persistence. I had to be um cooperative. I had to follow all their instructions, everything. Um, I had to earn my spot.

[00:09:42]And, you know, I'm going to bounce around a little after transplant.

[00:09:51]It's hard because I feel extremely guilty.

[00:09:57]There's people out there that didn't cause their liver damage. They didn't do anything. autoimmune and I did this to myself and I feel like they should have gotten a liver before me but it doesn't work like that. It's that there's a whole liver team, a team of amazing doctors, and everyone, therapists, psychiatrists, and um just because I destroyed my liver due to alcoholism and drug addiction, doesn't mean I'm not worthy of it. Even though my brain tells me differently, I know that's not the case. And a lot of people have misconceptions. A lot of people are like, "They don't give alcoholics liver transplants."

[00:10:49]Yeah, they do.

[00:10:51]As long as you follow directions, >> as long as you show them consistency and that you're not drinking and weekly blood work, weekly drug tests, um, and then I waited on the list for nine months for a liver and then I got the call. One thing I've learned through recovery is that drugs, alcohol, and gambling, those are symptoms. The real work is what's underneath it. Anxiety, trauma, depression, the pain we try to numb. That's one of the reasons I partnered with Compassion Behavioral Health. They don't just treat the behavior. They focus on the mental health side of recovery. Compassion is intentionally boutique- sized, so treatment is individualized, not one sizefits-all. They offer a full continuum of care from detox through outpatient and even virtual support. And alongside evidence-based therapies, they also provide innovative treatments like TMS, neuro feedback, and EMDR when appropriate. Because lasting recovery isn't just about removing a substance, it's about addressing what's driving it.

[00:11:57]If you or someone you love is struggling with addiction or mental health, this is a structured stigmaree place to start.

[00:12:04]They're in network with major insurance providers and available 24/7. Call or text 844-443-5669.

[00:12:13]That's 844-443-5669 or visit compassionbehavioralhealth.com.

[00:12:20]So, I want to clarify something. Uh, addiction, >> alcoholism, drug addiction, it's a disease.

[00:12:28]>> And people think that >> we do have a choice. Once we get sober, we have a choice. Of course.

[00:12:34]>> And you know, we we cross this invisible line over to drugs and alcohol, right?

[00:12:41]We're we're young. Everyone's pure, a pure human when you're first born.

[00:12:46]>> You didn't wake up and say, "Listen, I'm going to go I'm going to become a drug addict today, >> right?

[00:12:50]>> I'm going to go abuse alcohol today."

[00:12:52]Well, I've said that, but I I'm not going to become an alcoholic, right?

[00:12:59]And we go about our lives. We cross that invisible line. Everyone tries smoking weed. Everyone tries drinking. Everyone I knew in high school, middle school, we all, >> you know, snuck alcohol from our parents and whatnot, right? But then there are a few of us that continue when everyone goes home at 10:00. We're up all night doing drugs.

[00:13:21]>> Mhm.

[00:13:21]>> We're up all night drinking, doing whatever. It's because we have that that one gene that's a little off. It's different from everyone else.

[00:13:31]It wasn't like you woke up and said, "I'm gonna have my kids and then I'm gonna start you, you know, I think you stopped using drugs actually before your whatever it is the timeline, but you didn't wake up and say, I am going to become an alcoholic."

[00:13:44]>> I did not.

[00:13:45]>> It was what you were dealing with your time in your life. For us, we have a tough time processing emotion feelings.

[00:13:53]And the way what we look to do >> to get away from those and and remove ourselves from feeling that way, those bad feelings, is we self-medicate, >> of course, >> with drugs or alcohol. So, it's not like you chose to wake up every day and needed to drink the moment you you drank to survive.

[00:14:14]>> You drank to just feel normal.

[00:14:17]>> Mhm. So, look, you're on the right podcast. We're we're in your corner here. Um, I am just the first 10 minutes of the episode. Everything you've already been through is just it's wild.

[00:14:31]>> Take us through Okay. 80 days ago, you have a liver transplant. What is it like waking up from surgery and receiving a liver transplant?

[00:14:40]>> The most painful thing.

[00:14:43]Holy cow.

[00:14:45]hard is an understatement. And I had no family with me. I did it all by myself.

[00:14:53]Um, my wife was home taking care of our son and our daughter and I was in Tampa. My sister came 8 days out of the 16 that I was there and she was there for 30 minutes a day. So, I was literally alone.

[00:15:12]I needed help doing everything. I couldn't lift a cup to hold my water.

[00:15:18]Everything hurt. I was in ICU for three days. Um, intubated.

[00:15:24]Uh, then they moved me to a regular floor and it was just pain. It was so bad. And I kept saying, "I wish I never did this.

[00:15:37]I wish I never did this." Because it was hard. it.

[00:15:41]I've had two C-sections and that was like piece of cake. This was no joke. I was on the table for 10 hours. So, I woke up from surgery. My back Oh my, it's crazy. It was just so painful. And then six or seven days later, they had to reopen me again cuz I had something called a biliary leak um internally. So, they had to reopen my incision and I have a pretty large incision, which I'm comfortable to show or not. It doesn't matter. Um, it was really hard.

[00:16:23]>> Yeah.

[00:16:23]>> When did things, you had said there was in the very beginning you would wish you'd never done it cuz it was so painful.

[00:16:29]>> At what point over the past 80 days did things start to take a turn for the better and you were like, "Okay, there little bit of hope here. I'm feeling a little better. Yeah, >> this was worth it >> when I was able to get up and walk and go to the bathroom by myself. And I remember making a Tik Tok um saying I got dressed all by myself and I did a video of me doing my skin care and me getting dressed and pulling on my pants and putting a shirt on. Every motion hurt, >> but it just got a little better each day.

[00:17:07]I've gained 30 pounds. Like >> you're like, "Bring it on. Let's go."

[00:17:11]>> Like I was so sick.

[00:17:13]>> Yeah.

[00:17:14]>> I was anywhere from 100 to 110 pounds for the past um about four years >> and now I've put on 30 lbs in the past three months. And but it's healthy.

[00:17:29]>> And um it's still a process. It's still there's days that are really hard for me that are hard to get out of bed and then other days I just push through.

[00:17:42]I I I find a Tik Tok of motivation somehow. I look for recovery videos how I found you and um it gives me motivation to keep going. Or I read comments from my followers or um when they DM me and they say they just got out of treatment and they went to treatment because I helped them.

[00:18:04]That's a great feeling.

[00:18:06]>> Yeah. So, you have a very big following on Tik Tok. What is your Tik Tok?

[00:18:10]>> Um, Mama Chelse.

[00:18:12]>> Mama Chelse. Can you spell that for the audience?

[00:18:15]>> Yeah. M A M A C H E L S 11:25.

[00:18:21]>> 11:25. Is 11:25 when?

[00:18:24]>> My birthday.

[00:18:25]>> Your birthday. Okay.

[00:18:26]>> Um, okay. So now let's take a giant step back and I want to get to the drug addiction. How you were able to get through that back in 2012.

[00:18:37]>> Obviously you quit alcohol and got completely sober 19 months ago. But let's take a giant step back. You are Florida native.

[00:18:46]>> Yeah.

[00:18:46]>> Born and raised here in Florida. What was early childhood like for you?

[00:18:51]>> Um happy.

[00:18:55]I'm going to cry. Um, my parents were married. My sister is five and a half years older than me. I grew up in a middle to upper class Jewish family. I went to Shul. Um, it was happy. But then divorce comes.

[00:19:14]>> How old were you?

[00:19:15]>> Five. And my mom struggled majorly with mental health issues. I'm I can't tell you how many times she tried to commit suicide.

[00:19:27]My mom was sick. Um but I was a full-time model and actress.

[00:19:33]Um from the time I was 5 to nine, I was the top child model in South Florida.

[00:19:40]And do you remember Sally Jesse Rafio?

[00:19:42]>> Of course I do.

[00:19:43]>> Okay. A lot of people don't.

[00:19:45]>> No, that's my generation.

[00:19:47]>> Okay. I was on her talk show with Kim Alexis and Lauren Hutton for being the top child model and I did a lot of work, a lot of print work, a lot of commercials. Um, but then I got sick with Crohn's disease and I was in the hospital for 4 months at 9 years old.

[00:20:06]And then my mom kind of munchousin syndrome kind of thing just always kept me sick.

[00:20:15]attention. Um, used it to her advantage.

[00:20:20]Very unhealthy parenting. And it just kept getting worse and worse the older I got. Um, my sister went to the army. I felt abandoned. Dad left. Felt abandoned. Um, but I was all around, I think, a good kid. I was a bully in school though.

[00:20:43]And now I feel horrible about it. But I from what I remember, I think I had a normalish childhood.

[00:20:54]My sister might say different though.

[00:20:57]>> When 5 to nine when you were modeling and you were an actress, was that a lot of pressure at a young age?

[00:21:04]>> I loved it.

[00:21:05]>> Okay.

[00:21:05]>> I loved it.

[00:21:06]>> So it wasn't like your mom wasn't pushing you to be out there. You were embracing it.

[00:21:12]Well, I did very well financially, very well.

[00:21:17]>> And there and so my mom, yes, pushed me, but I loved it. It was fun. It was mom picking me up early from school and driving down to Miami for a shoot. It was so much fun. I loved it. Um, but then I got sick and then she embraced that big time.

[00:21:36]>> Yeah.

[00:21:37]>> Mhm.

[00:21:38]>> I'm sorry. What age did you were you diagnosed with Crohn's? either seven or nine.

[00:21:43]>> Okay.

[00:21:44]>> I'm thinking nine.

[00:21:45]>> Okay. What were the impacts at a young age like that from what you can recall?

[00:21:50]>> Um hospitalized for 4 months, homeschooled for the next two years because I couldn't keep anything down. It was constant throwing up or going to the bathroom. Um and they couldn't figure out why. I threw up for 30 days straight in the hospital. Even with like Zopran, it wouldn't stop. Um, so a lot of medication, a lot of doctors from what I remember.

[00:22:19]But then later in life, I heard stories, rumors. I don't know. Mom poisoned me.

[00:22:24]Mom did it. Mom kept me sick for the money. All this. Mom was sick.

[00:22:31]>> Yeah.

[00:22:31]>> But she she tried. She did the best she could.

[00:22:35]What was uh your high school years like?

[00:22:39]>> Um so I grew up with all the same kids from preschool at the JCC to middle school and then high school my mom took me to Bokeh. Moved me from Broward County to Bokeh. So now I'm at a new school, a private school, very small school. It was brand new. It had only been open two years and I had a full scholarship for my cheerleading and swimming and I loved it. But there's something always been missing.

[00:23:13]What I'm coming to find out learned through therapy still is that I just didn't like to feel. There was something like you said there was something off.

[00:23:26]Um, mom took me to a psychiatrist, anti-depressants, and um, I swallowed the whole bottle cuz I didn't want to feel that day. And yeah, didn't look pretty.

[00:23:43]>> So, and I know this because of our prior talking before, that was freshman year of college, right?

[00:23:47]>> Freshman year of high school.

[00:23:49]>> Oh, that was freshman year of high school. Okay. So, you're put on anti-depressants at what, 14, 15 years old?

[00:23:54]>> Yeah. So again, going back to my mom, my mom had a lot of look at me, look at me. So I have a halfsister that I never met from my father.

[00:24:08]That's another So my dad and my mom, my mom, okay, my dad was married to a woman named Elaine.

[00:24:21]They had a little girl named Pamela.

[00:24:24]My mother was the babysitter. My mom was 15, 16. My dad was in his 30s and married. My dad came home, found his first wife in bed with another woman, and divorced her and started dating the 16-year-old babysitter, which was my mother.

[00:24:42]So then my mom had my sister Jamie, who's five and a half years older than me.

[00:24:49]And my mom said that Pamela, the fir my dad's first child, molested my sister.

[00:24:57]So my mom put Pamela in a psych ward multiple times.

[00:25:03]Well, then my sister turns 15 and my mom puts my sister in psych ws in group home for girls. And the same thing happened with me. I turn 15, she tells everyone I'm depressed. What does mom do? At least 15 times. Dropped off at Columbia Pavilion for you're going to kill yourself. No, I'm not. What are you talking about? And they would believe my mom and I would get dropped off. And then my mom shipped me off to New Orleans to another psychiatric unit for 3 months and I lived in New Orleans in a psych ward.

[00:25:44]So it just >> God was it me? Was it my mom? I mean it played out the same scenario three times. Pamela, my sister, and myself.

[00:25:56]And that's why I wanted my mom to have nothing to do with my daughter.

[00:26:00]>> Yeah.

[00:26:00]>> I was so scared.

[00:26:04]>> But my So in 2010, my daughter Riley was 3 years old. I'm married at this point.

[00:26:16]Um, and I deliver a stillborn little boy.

[00:26:21]His name was Christopher.

[00:26:24]And nobody prepares you for what that looks like. Going to the hospital thinking you're going to deliver a little baby and you leave empty-handed.

[00:26:40]It was horrible.

[00:26:44]And at this point, I had smoked weed a couple times.

[00:26:50]Um, nothing crazy.

[00:26:53]And I went from never doing anything to so my son died October 17th, 2010.

[00:27:03]And that New Year's, so just 2 months later, my sister who was in active addiction came over and shot me up with blues for the very first time cuz she got high in front of me. And I was like, "That's how I want to feel right there. I I want that."

[00:27:23]And I remember running into the bedroom to my husband saying, "I found it. I found it. It's going to work. I'm going to be better now because neither one of us can function.

[00:27:33]We were just so depressed and in bed, but I had a three-year-old. So, when I shot a blue, I was up. I cleaned my whole house. I was super mom. Let's go to the gym. Let's I was great. Or so I thought.

[00:27:50]And when I say it spiraled quickly, that's an understatement.

[00:27:57]>> Did your husband start using as well?

[00:27:59]>> Yes.

[00:28:00]>> Okay. So we went from he had prior addiction, moved down to Florida treatment del Rey. Um and I so again never using shooting a blue and within 28 days smoking crack, shooting heroin, shooting cocaine. That was my love. Like oh my gosh. and my whole life turned upside down very quickly. Lost everything.

[00:28:32]>> Is that when you had gotten heepsi?

[00:28:35]>> Yeah, within 28. So I picked up on it was New Year's January 1st and I was in my very first treatment center um January 28th and I found out I had heepsi and I did nothing about it.

[00:28:51]I got out of treatment and I continued to use and then I went back and then I got out and I continued to use and then I went back. It was a revolving door for 18 months. Treatment or jail, either one.

[00:29:08]>> Yeah. So 2012 you eventually put drugs down.

[00:29:15]>> Eventually. Yeah.

[00:29:16]>> In 2012. Yeah. So what had happened? And it was your last treatment facility and then you get out and then you eventually just stopped.

[00:29:24]But you you said you didn't pick up drinking really until 2015.

[00:29:28]>> Correct.

[00:29:28]>> So did you get essentially completely sober in 2012? Okay.

[00:29:33]>> And what was it? Was it just you were sick and tired of doing that for 18 months?

[00:29:38]>> I wanted my daughter. So I had no other option but my daughter went with my mom and my mom put very strict rules on me that I could not talk to Riley or see Riley until I had 6 months sober.

[00:29:53]So I would go to treatment. Let's say I was there for 30 days. I would get out.

[00:29:58]I would go to a halfway house and my mom wouldn't let me talk to her. It infuriated me and I'm like [ __ ] it.

[00:30:06]Let's go get high. And just the things I did was disgusting.

[00:30:14]Active addiction was gross. Um, and I kept begging my mom. Mind you, I moved out of my house when I was 16.

[00:30:24]I've never lived with my mom since then.

[00:30:26]So, I was begging my mom, "Please let me come home. This halfway house and jail and treatment, this cycle isn't working." I mean, there was probably 15 admissions in those 18 months to detox or rehab and four times being arrested and had no home anymore.

[00:30:50]Lost our house, sold my car, sold my sister's car for drugs.

[00:30:57]That was bad.

[00:31:00]That was really bad. that I sold her car for $150.

[00:31:04]>> Holy [ __ ] >> She had a 2006 or 2007 Jeep Grand Cherokee and we're in 200 >> 112.

[00:31:13]>> Mhm. And I sold her car. She found out it was me and um I bought it back for $600. I sold it to like a I looked in the phone book that we had phone books and it was we buy junk cars.

[00:31:28]Made up a whole lie. huge lie that the title was with my dad. My dad's the manager of Alpine Jaguar, which he was, but I had my drug dealer get on the phone and pretend to be my father. And this guy was like, "This is not your dad." And I was like, "Yeah, he's from Israel." It was my drug dealer trying.

[00:31:52]It was terrible. So, I sold her car for 150 bucks, bought it back for 600, and then sold it again for $130.

[00:32:01]Sold my car, had my car shot at, had my house shot at. Like, it was just hell. Did I answer I don't know if I even answered your question.

[00:32:14]>> No, no, no. So, so 2012, you get sober and then you you eventually get your daughter back.

[00:32:19]>> I did. I moved in with my mom. She finally allowed me to. Um, I just kept telling her that this cycle is not working.

[00:32:28]She's like, "You need six months sober."

[00:32:30]I'm like, "But mom, this isn't working.

[00:32:33]Let's try something different." And I kept saying, "I need Riley." And she kept saying, "You need to be sober before you had Riley."

[00:32:42]>> And I understood her logic in that.

[00:32:45]>> But I I didn't have the I needed to be a mom again.

[00:32:49]>> Needed hope. I needed her. Like, I really did. And she saved me more than once. She saved me because I had her and I didn't want to lose her again.

[00:33:01]So, I I moved in with my my mom and my stepdad. And I started with taking her to school every morning and picking her up and giving her baths at night. And I had a purpose again. And I didn't want to get high. I really didn't. Did you and your ex-husband divorce during that time when >> No, we just recently got divorced. We stayed married for like 10 years, but we weren't together.

[00:33:29]>> Good for you guys.

[00:33:30]>> Yeah.

[00:33:31]>> But, you know, you were just saying before we started, you guys are very close today. You're very good friends.

[00:33:36]>> Very.

[00:33:37]>> You have your daughter together. I I love that that you guys have a great relationship today. That's hilarious.

[00:33:43]>> Oh my gosh. But >> we just put it on hold and whatever.

[00:33:46]revisited >> camera now we're both sober so like >> wow >> he has it my so my daughter um is with Joel who is um in treatment right now as we speak >> Wait wait wait wait your daughter is >> so my I never got married to Riley's father >> got it >> and um I was 20 years old He told me he was 25.

[00:34:19]>> Okay.

[00:34:19]>> I found out 4 days after my 21st birthday that I was pregnant and then 6 months later I found out he was actually 35 and not 25.

[00:34:31]>> Quick break to remind you that if you or a loved one are struggling, you don't have to do it alone. Compassion Behavioral Health offers worldclass mental health and addiction treatment.

[00:34:40]Give them a call at 844-443-5669 or visit compassionbehavioralhealth.com.

[00:34:48]Help is waiting. Now, back to the episode. The old 10year down curve.

[00:34:52]>> Oh my gosh. But it was just like I found out so much stuff when I was pregnant, like so many prison sentences. And I would walk into the um we had a shed in the backyard. I'd walk into the shed and he would be shooting up and I'm like, "Oh my gosh, I'm pregnant. I'm sober."

[00:35:08]Like, and again, so this is going to the beginning of I hadn't done drugs yet, >> and I see him with needles in his arm.

[00:35:17]>> What's his first name?

[00:35:18]>> Joel.

[00:35:19]>> Joel. Okay, that's Joel. So, your daughter is with Joel, her dad.

[00:35:22]>> Correct.

[00:35:23]>> Got it.

[00:35:23]>> And then my husband, Ashton's father, is Eric.

[00:35:28]>> Got it.

[00:35:29]So Riley, I had Riley in 2007 and and I was with Joel very short, maybe a year, year and a half. And then I became a single mom and I loved it. And we went to the gym every day. She was in a private daycare. Um, and I was She was my joy. Oh, she was a little [ __ ] at 3 years old. A little [ __ ] But she Oh, she was perfect.

[00:36:02]>> Like so perfect. And she gave me purpose. And I was happy. And then I met Eric in 2009 and he was a wonderful stepdad.

[00:36:17]Wonderful.

[00:36:19]He loved her so much. And then we got married in 2010 and things were good until they weren't.

[00:36:30]And that was the death of my son that really like killed us.

[00:36:35]>> Yeah.

[00:36:36]>> And then it was just from 2010 to 2012, it was just this revolving door of drug addiction and all that.

[00:36:46]>> And um but yes, we didn't actually get divorced. I don't think until 2024. I think >> postco.

[00:36:55]>> Yeah. Oh, yeah.

[00:36:57]>> Postco. Yeah.

[00:36:59]>> Okay. So, 2015, you start drinking. Now, before then, from 2012 to 2015, you get your daughter back. Your life is is >> it's good.

[00:37:10]>> Is going well.

[00:37:11]>> Yeah.

[00:37:12]>> What prompted you to pick up a drink?

[00:37:15]Um, wow. I'm saying this out loud and it's like, whoa, seems like there's a pattern. Um, so I was at my sister's house and my sister was making um frozen pina coladas and I had a drink.

[00:37:35]It was just Yeah, I had one drink and then it started one drink every night.

[00:37:44]And then I would and then I bought a blender and then I was like, "Oh, I'm going to make cocktails." And then it just started and I like the feeling of not feeling.

[00:37:55]>> I love it.

[00:37:57]>> 2018 you received the news that um was that when no cerosis in 2018 is when you found that out, right?

[00:38:07]>> So yep. So my son was born in 2015.

[00:38:11]Ashton was born in 2015 and um I started drinking I want to say four about four months after he was born.

[00:38:22]I got back on Adderall and I did not take it as prescribed.

[00:38:28]That was my favorite mix. I have severe anxiety because you know with drugs I couldn't function like a normal person.

[00:38:36]Shooting cocaine you cannot function.

[00:38:40]going to a psychiatrist, telling the psychiatrist, "My meds aren't working, but I'm running to the bathroom and smoking crack in the bathroom at my psychiatrist office doesn't make sense.

[00:38:52]But alcohol and aderall, I'm a champ. I could conquer the world."

[00:38:57]And nobody knew anything. But I told everyone because I was not in denial.

[00:39:02]I'm not a liar. I'm very brutally honest. And um yeah, but it worked for me for a very long time.

[00:39:12]Energy, great mom. It was like this, but I wasn't. I was drinking and driving. I was putting my kids at risk. That's not good parenting.

[00:39:23]>> So, it's like the disease tells you so many different things. But my anxiety was high. The alcohol would calm it down, but then the aderall would get me back up. So, it was like this all long.

[00:39:43]>> Yeah.

[00:39:44]>> Yeah.

[00:39:46]>> Okay. So, now you're drinking aderall.

[00:39:48]You received the news in 2018. Can you take us through how you found out like what prompted you to go to the doctor? What were some symptoms you were experiencing? And then him giving you the news. So, I think I found out first fatty liver about 2018, maybe 2017. Um, I think I just went to the hospital because I had bronchitis and I was coughing, I had a fever, I was sick and they did blood work and they were like, "Hey, you have a fatty liver.

[00:40:22]Do you drink?" "Yes." "Okay, you should really slow down." Didn't.

[00:40:28]Now the symptoms at that point were all I had at that time was discoloration in my legs. It looked like I was very blotchy like a bad tan.

[00:40:42]Um the symptoms progressed. My drinking continued.

[00:40:49]COVID happened and I had COVID.

[00:40:54]I get hospitalized. I'm in ICU and they tell me I'm at stage two cerosis and still I didn't know what that meant or what that looked like. Um I was man um I'm trying to think of what my symptoms were that time. A lot of my symptoms stem from my gallbladder too. So, I had liver issues, gallbladder issues, fluid around my gallbladder, but they couldn't take my gallbladder because of the cerosis. Um, I wasn't able to clot. So, if I would have gone on the table to have my gallbladder removed, I would have died. So, I lived with gallbladder issues from 2021ish, the first time I had COVID until they took my gallbladder out when I had my transplant. But, so every time I got hospitalized was for COVID. I've had it like four times. And every time they told me, Chelsea, cerosis stage 2, cerosis stage three, cerosis stage 4. And even after finding out I was stage 4 January of 2024, I continued to drink for nine more months.

[00:42:23]And yeah, >> holy [ __ ] And I found a hepatologist because they told me to and because the symptoms were getting really bad that I couldn't function normally with my drinking and my aderall. I couldn't because the symptoms were so bad pain.

[00:42:50]They say the liver doesn't have pain receptors. So, if it was pain from my gallbladder, but I couldn't breathe. Um, my liver was enlarged and every step was gasping for air. Um, the edema in my legs, my leg, oh my gosh. One time they sent me to a rehabilitation center to learn how to walk. I jumped in an Uber and left after three hours. But it just kept getting worse. But the hepatologist um I started going to her. So I found out I was stage 4 cerosis in January 2024.

[00:43:37]I started going to Dr. Olsen in March, but I would go to Dr. Olsen's office drinking >> in one of those.

[00:43:48]>> Yeah.

[00:43:49]>> Would he have any idea?

[00:43:50]Yeah, I told her I'm brutally honest.

[00:43:54]>> Brutally.

[00:43:55]>> And she goes, "I'm glad you're here."

[00:43:59]And she started giving me medicine to treat my cerosis and I wouldn't take it. So, my symptoms just kept getting worse. And when I mean worse, I mean, think of being at a grocery store and having no [ __ ] idea who you are or anybody else. And you're like, "What?"

[00:44:20]and scary, but I kept drinking.

[00:44:28]>> Okay. So, you eventually get sober in 2024 after 9 months of drinking knowing you have stage 4 >> cerosis of the liver.

[00:44:41]There was a point where you had said, I think November or I think it was December of 2024, you're a few months sober at this point.

[00:44:48]>> Mhm. you were given three months roughly to live.

[00:44:53]>> What prevented you from going and picking up a drink again? Because if I'm given an expiration date on my life and you know I'm couple months sober, odds are I'm probably going out back out and I'm going to go drink again or use drugs or whatever it is. What prevented you?

[00:45:10]>> My daughter.

[00:45:12]I love my son, but my daughter She's fragile.

[00:45:22]I've put her through a lot. And now being sober at that point, a few months, our relationship got so much better.

[00:45:33]And Riley relies on me a lot emotionally.

[00:45:37]When things are going rocky in her relationship, she calls me. I'm the first one. She tells me everything. and our relationship got so much better. And I could not imagine leaving her. And I knew if I drank, not only would I be immediately in pain, immediately, but I could not imagine her getting married, walking down an aisle, and me not being there. And she, again, I love my son, but there's something very special about her.

[00:46:15]and I couldn't leave her.

[00:46:18]>> That's a that's an amazing reason. It's a beautiful relationship that you do have with your daughter.

[00:46:26]>> And you know, but years prior with drugs, why wasn't she enough then?

[00:46:33]You know, this disease sucks.

[00:46:37]It centers in our brain. It makes you do stupid things. When you're an active addiction, it's not a choice. It's not until you get sober, you know, dealing with a transplant. And every I've learned I just don't like to feel still to this day. And now I'm learning different coping skills rather than picking up something that's going to numb it.

[00:47:06]You know, my first instinct is I'm a huge animal lover. Huge. I post videos of me feeding cats.

[00:47:14]I feed hundreds of cats every day.

[00:47:17]Hundreds. I take them TNVR. I trap them, get them vaccinated, and I either find a foster for them or um a home for them or I bring them back to their colony and they can count on me to feed them every day. And I love them. That makes me happy. That's my medicine.

[00:47:39]>> That's my drug. like doing for others is my drug. That's um it's still hard for me to do for myself, but doing for others, that's my strong suit instead of Well, that's obviously a huge tool for you.

[00:47:57]But instead of reaching for a drink today, how do you deal with emotion? And >> you know, we still we still feel pain and we get sober.

[00:48:06]>> What do you do now?

[00:48:07]>> I feed cats.

[00:48:10]I swear.

[00:48:12]I swear that's what I do.

[00:48:14]>> Do you go to meetings?

[00:48:15]>> I do not. I have. Um I have worked a program. Um I've sponsored women. I've taken women through steps. I just um it could be beneficial, but it's also just a reminder of what I don't want to be. So, for instance, I do a group on soberlivers.org, people that have had a transplant. I'm currently working on something with my doctor to add a chapter here to Florida for transplant recipients. Um, I still go to therapy every week.

[00:49:02]Um, so I'm very conscious of my addiction and what I what can I do daily to help it.

[00:49:14]Um, but no no meetings anymore. Well, I do want to point out, >> sure, >> it is so important for community and there's no one way to recover. I used to be the 12 steps. That's the only way.

[00:49:30]And uh since starting this podcast, I've seen people get sober a million different ways. Yeah. There's no one way. I think it's important to have community and you've created the community with sober liver. Well, with my TikTok majorly, that that is definitely my support group without a doubt.

[00:49:49]>> For sure.

[00:49:50]>> I should have mentioned that >> you have community in your life, which is huge, which which is what you build in >> 12step meetings and stuff like that. And helping other people, you help others.

[00:50:02]>> And I think it's so important therapy is for you have to work on yourself. And that's what therapy is for.

[00:50:08]>> There are a million ways to work on yourself. You could do 12 steps. You could do therapy. You could do trauma therapy. You could There are so many non-invasive ways to go about, you know, facing your trauma and and sitting with those feelings. And it's it's really a beautiful thing that there are so many options today in 2026 and so many other ways to recover.

[00:50:31]>> Yeah. Today I actually had therapy this morning and we were talking about cognitive restructuring and you can't change what you don't acknowledge. And um last week I was very depressed. I didn't want to get out of bed. And she goes, "How's your week been?" I was like, "You would be so proud of me because I'm so proud of me. I got out of bed every day this week. I was active. I was doing things. I'm going on the podcast today.

[00:51:02]Like I've always been extremes, black or white, up or down, all or nothing. So now I'm conscious of it and I make a conscious effort to find that gray area. Now >> um my followers help me immensely.

[00:51:28]I help them. it. That is definitely my community for support. But now I'm joining this soberlivers.org.

[00:51:36]Today is my first meeting with them actually and they have a group for animal lovers, people that have had a liver transplant that are animal lovers.

[00:51:44]And I'm like, uh, yeah, that's me. So >> yeah, >> that's a beautiful thing.

[00:51:50]>> So you have a partner today.

[00:51:53]>> Wait, can I can I ask one question? It's a You don't have to answer it if you don't want to. So, you have a a female partner?

[00:52:00]>> I do.

[00:52:01]>> When did you cross over from men men to to women?

[00:52:04]>> There was no crossover. I was always both. Always. My >> 13 years old. I told my mom I was gay.

[00:52:11]>> Yeah.

[00:52:12]>> Um Melissa and I have been together.

[00:52:16]Well, we've known each other since I'm about 17.

[00:52:21]>> She's young. Then we ran into each other in jail when I was 20. Yeah. I hadn't seen her in years. And then we ran into each other in jail in 2011.

[00:52:36]First time I was arrested, I was in there for 33 days. I was like, I'll be out tomorrow on O blah blah blah. No, 33 days in jail. And then I saw Melissa and Melissa was going to prison. She was waiting on a transfer and um I picked her up from prison. When she got out, we immediately went and got a bag of coke, started shooting.

[00:53:02]>> Um spent the entire day in the car driving from here to Fort Pierce back and forth. That's all we did. And we would just stop on the side of the road.

[00:53:14]>> There was a portaotti one time on the side of the road. And that's what we did. We pulled over and started shooting up in a porta potty. Like stupid crazy [ __ ] And um then she went back to prison and then we got back together again in 2018 and we've been together since.

[00:53:33]>> How is she doing today?

[00:53:34]>> Awesome.

[00:53:35]>> She doesn't do drugs, so does she?

[00:53:36]>> No. Hell no.

[00:53:37]>> Good.

[00:53:38]>> I would kick her ass. No.

[00:53:40]>> No. So you guys are all doing good.

[00:53:42]>> Yeah. Really well. And um when we got back together in 2018, she was still messing around with stuff. And even though I was drinking an Adderall, I was functioning, but I was like anti-drugs. You cannot bring drugs in my house. Mind you, I'm drinking like a [ __ ] fish.

[00:54:02]>> Mhm.

[00:54:02]>> Going through two bottles a day. A bottle of a handle of vodka and a 750 ml bottle of Amordo >> a day. 24 to 48 hours. I was drinking a lot. I would make like a white Russian.

[00:54:19]That's but I would call it my milkshake.

[00:54:21]Vodka and Amordo. And when I tell you So I would make a batch and it was vodka to here and then Amordo to here. And I would take creamer and go like that. And then I would have another cup with ice and that would be my like to-go cup. And this would sit in the fridge, my batch, and I would make three batches a day.

[00:54:44]And I would go through two bottles 24 to 48 hours.

[00:54:50]And then I switched to Mike's harder, >> you know, Mike's harder at the gas station.

[00:54:54]>> Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

[00:54:56]>> And drinking about 10 of those a day, >> which stopping at uh sushi for lunch and having a luchi martini. And but when Melissa and I got together, she was doing Molly and I'm like, "No, no." And she stopped.

[00:55:13]>> Wow.

[00:55:14]>> When she's with when we were together, she would not do it. And then if I broke up with her, she would. But then we just like grew up.

[00:55:24]>> We grew up, but I was still drinking.

[00:55:27]And she enabled my drinking. I'd make her feel so guilty.

[00:55:33]But But she stopped. She has a great job. The past 19 months have been nice.

[00:55:39]>> That's great.

[00:55:40]>> It's been nice.

[00:55:40]>> How's your sister doing?

[00:55:43]>> Good today.

[00:55:44]>> Good.

[00:55:45]>> Good today.

[00:55:45]>> Good.

[00:55:46]>> Mhm.

[00:55:47]>> Okay. Before we wrap up.

[00:55:49]>> Yeah.

[00:55:49]>> You have a tattoo.

[00:55:51]>> O.

[00:55:53]>> Wait, what's the name on that tattoo?

[00:55:56]>> Jack Dhy.

[00:55:59]>> Isn't that awesome?

[00:56:00]>> All right. So, you used to work with him?

[00:56:02]>> I did. Can you explain how you met him?

[00:56:05]>> Oh my goodness.

[00:56:05]>> And so for the audience, he's the famous YouTuber.

[00:56:09]>> Yeah.

[00:56:09]>> And he's from South Florida, Fort Lauderdale.

[00:56:12]>> He's from New York.

[00:56:13]>> Oh, I'm sorry. New York, but he lives in Fort Lauderdale. He does.

[00:56:15]>> Got it. So, can you explain how you met him, how you guys started working together, and then the story of the tattoo?

[00:56:20]>> Yeah, sure. So, I've been a follower of Jack for years, and I always thought he was a little [ __ ] And I'm like, this I I kept watching him cuz I'm like, this [ __ ] like he's a douche, and he instigates and taunts people, but I love him. Like, I get his sense of humor because I'm the same way. No filter.

[00:56:46]His intentions are great, but I wanted to meet him. Always wanted to meet him.

[00:56:53]So, I said I was saying for years, mind you, I was still drinking at this point.

[00:56:58]I was like, >> what year?

[00:57:00]>> Uh, 2023.

[00:57:02]So, I was um I was like, I'm going to get a tattoo that'll get help me get me to meet him. Well, in this time frame, my daughter was in high school with Claire.

[00:57:19]Claire was one of Jack's girls. Jack has a house. Lots of his girls live there.

[00:57:26]Modeling o of content >> like Tik Tok videos, YouTube videos, streaming. So, Claire was one of Jack's girls and Claire was friends with my daughter. And Claire and I, everybody calls me Mama Chelse. Everyone, every single one of my daughter's friends is like my friend. I adore them. They all come to me for advice. They stuff they're not comfortable talking to their parents with, they come to me. And um so Claire and I are extremely close and Jack was streaming one day at FAU during uh what was it at the FAU tailgate and I was like Claire's like come here come here. So I did and he called me the MIL that was my name and um we met and he was like hey you want to work for me and I was like yeah sure he's like all right. So I would clean his house and I loved it. It was so much fun. But then I got sick like nose bleeds at his house, pain, couldn't still drinking at his house constantly.

[00:58:44]But I functioned. I It was But then I got COVID again. And that was my last day when I had COized, finding out stage four. M.

[00:58:56]But did you get the tattoo with him or did you get it before? Cuz they made it.

[00:59:00]You were in his episode.

[00:59:02]>> Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. So I never got the tattoo before, but I had wanted to so that I would meet him. Well, now I already know Jack. I work for Jack. I adore him. And um one of the what was heel Mike is another streamer.

[00:59:20]and heel. Mike and him were talking and they're like, "What should we talk about? What should we do on stream today?" And I go, "I'll get a tattoo.

[00:59:30]Let me get Jack's name tattoo." And they're like, "Are you serious?" I was like, "Hell yeah." Everyone's like, "Did Jack pay you?" And I'm like, "No, but you could see me in the episode. I have a Mike's harder in between my legs as I'm getting the tattoo." Like, would I do that sober? Probably not. Probably not. Most likely not. But that was my thinking. Just go with the flow. [ __ ] it. Who cares? But it was fun. It was.

[00:59:56]My wife did not appreciate that >> at all.

[00:59:59]>> You can watch the episode on YouTube, the whole episode of the tattoo. And she was not happy.

[01:00:04]>> How many views did it get?

[01:00:05]>> Oh, lots. Millions, I guess.

[01:00:10]>> Oh, yeah. And I have it on my page.

[01:00:12]Millions. Yeah.

[01:00:14]>> Holy.

[01:00:15]>> It went viral for sure. There's a whole bunch of different videos, clips.

[01:00:21]>> Yeah.

[01:00:22]>> So, most people think because he likes to stir the pot and [ __ ] with people that he's a douche, >> but he's not.

[01:00:29]>> Yeah. G give us the the the real Jack.

[01:00:33]>> He's sweet.

[01:00:34]>> His intentions are always in the right place. He's a really good guy. So, like a lot of people when they hear Jack Dhy, they're like, "He's a [ __ ] idiot."

[01:00:44]I'm like, "You don't even know him. It's all for >> the camera. It's all for views. So, a lot of it is staged.

[01:00:52]>> A lot of it is set up, but a lot of it isn't set up. It just happens. He has really he gets crazy situations.

[01:01:03]>> Yeah.

[01:01:03]>> Um but yeah, he's a really good guy.

[01:01:07]>> Well, the fact that he asked you if you wanted a job to go help him clean his house, like that's really nice of him.

[01:01:12]>> It was fun.

[01:01:13]>> And like with no intentions. Obviously, you had a girlfriend at the time.

[01:01:16]>> Oh, yeah.

[01:01:17]>> No, no, I know. I'm saying like he did it just to be kind.

[01:01:21]>> Yeah. He needed a somebody to clean his house. He didn't like their house cleaners. He's like, "Hey, do you want to work for me?" I was like, "Hell yeah." And I'm a like OCD neat freak.

[01:01:30]So, I cleaned. I did the laundry. Uh Christmas, I stayed awake for two days wrapping gifts, literally straight. But it's fun. He has a fun life.

[01:01:40]>> Yeah, I bet.

[01:01:41]>> Mhm.

[01:01:42]>> All right. Well, I want to thank you, Chelsea. You are a miracle >> and I appreciate you coming on and your willingness to get >> humble with us and share the vulnerability of your story just to help one other person out there.

[01:01:55]>> Of course.

[01:01:55]>> Thank you again.

[01:01:56]>> Of course. My pleasure.

[01:02:01]I just got to go.