DESPERATE DUCHESS Burnt Every Bridge She Ever Crossed. Now She's Selling You The Matches. For $256.

Added: 2026-06-03

[00:00:00]If you are here for the tea, yeah, this one really matters. Meghan Markle, she burned every bridge she ever crossed.

[00:00:09]The royal family, right? The Beckhams, the institution, the Clooneys. Every relationship that gave her access, that gave her status, that gave her relevance. Yeah, she torched it. Those all went up in flames. But now this week, oh, Meghan Markle, she is literally selling the matches. Yeah, the woman who tried to burn it all down is selling you matches. But that is the least interesting part of this royal roundup.

[00:00:45]So, hi there and welcome. I'm Nass. Now, pay attention because the details really matter here.

[00:00:52]This isn't just a product launch. Of course it's a money grab. Of course she's merching. But in my opinion, it isn't just about a candle. This is about a woman who sets fire to everything.

[00:01:09]But now she announces her newest product with the caption, sit with this for a moment.

[00:01:19]Just let it sink in.

[00:01:21]A small spark arriving tomorrow.

[00:01:27]A small spark. It all started with a spark. That was not accidental. A small spark. The spark between her and Harry that turned into this raging inferno of passion, which we don't seem to be seeing. But Meghan chose those words.

[00:01:49]Every word on that Instagram post and also the advertising on the Az ever is deliberately chosen. Every single word.

[00:02:00]I'm going to go through them slowly because I believe that this new candle matches thing tells us everything about how Meghan Markle thinks, how she operates, and you know what? What she's really selling.

[00:02:20]This launch was not accidental. Oh, no, it wasn't. Many call her manipulative Meghan, and I don't think that they are completely wrong.

[00:02:36]Okay, let's slow this down because I want you to really understand what I believe is actually happening here.

[00:02:43]Meghan Markle, B-list actress from Suits, burned the royal family with that Oprah interview. Yes, she did. She burned the palace. She burned the queen.

[00:02:53]She burned the institution that gave her everything. And yes, I do mean everything. A $32 million wedding that was a far cry from her beach wedding to husband number one.

[00:03:07]Some say husband number two, but we'll get into that when I have more information.

[00:03:13]So, yes, she burned the institution that gave her everything. Gave her a world stage, $32 million wedding. But now, today, she wants $256 from you, from me, from anyone who's dumb enough to fall for this trick, this scam.

[00:03:35]And for what? For lighting a candle in Ms. Markle's honor. I think I'll pass.

[00:03:43]So, what went down this week? Well, Meghan Markle's as ever brand announced its newest product, a box of matches.

[00:03:51]Groundbreaking, revolutionary.

[00:03:54]How did we ever manage before Meghan Markle came along with her her box of matches? But it's not just any old box, it's a decorative box of matches. I'm pretty sure it comes with calligraphy.

[00:04:09]And it was announced as always on her Instagram, softly lit, you know, all very manufactured, not curated. Curated is Jo Malone, it's classy. Meghan is manufactured.

[00:04:22]But she had, you know, the caption, her word soup, a small spark arriving tomorrow. The spark, the spark between me and Harry, the spark that became a raging inferno of passion, whatever. We don't see it anymore, but the spark, there's still a spark between me and Harry. Did you see the spark on our anniversary photos? You know, uh where I posted photos of me and Harry at the reception. The spark, yeah? You saw the spark, okay.

[00:04:58]But let's not forget that Meghan Markle is a woman who spent six years setting fire to one of the most powerful institutions on Earth, the British monarchy. Yeah, she sat down with Oprah.

[00:05:11]And she lit that match, and she thought it was all going to go up in flames. But hey, Ms. Markle, this is an institution, a monarchy that has been around for hundreds of years.

[00:05:25]But now, look at how cheeky Meghan is.

[00:05:28]She is now selling you, me, people out there, the very thing that you use to start a fire.

[00:05:36]I don't know, Meghan, is this the most self-aware moment of your career, or the very least? Either way, it tells you a lot about Meghan Markle, B-list actress from Suits.

[00:05:50]Now, let's talk about the matches. They are not sold alone. Of course, they're not.

[00:05:55]I mean, then you'd have to sell them for a dollar.

[00:05:58]No, they come as part of, let me get this right, the signature scent collection boxed set. Oh my gosh, that's a mouthful.

[00:06:07]Signature scent collection box set, four candles and a matchbox for 190 pounds.

[00:06:15]That's 256 dollars. Oh, yeah, you get the matches to light candles named after Meghan Markle, named after herself.

[00:06:26]In the house in Montecito, you know, she's sitting around and she's peddling her wares. The house in Montecito bought with Harry's inheritance money and I'm going to get into that in another episode of how they managed to blow that entire inheritance.

[00:06:45]So, basically, you and I would have to spend almost 260 dollars to get bonus matches.

[00:06:56]And one social media user said, "Well, I'll let you decide if the value is there."

[00:07:05]So, now we are peddling matches to go with the candles, but let's talk about the candles.

[00:07:12]You know, Meghan Markle didn't Well, you know, humanitarian that she is, she didn't name her candles after a cause, after Invictus, after Santa Barbara. Though, to be quite honest, if she had, we would have all probably clapped back on that.

[00:07:31]But, she also didn't name them after a place or a feeling or a season. She named every single one after a date in her own life.

[00:07:44]Let's look at the candles. Number five, 19, her wedding day, May the 19th, inspired by the ease and joy of a day that holds Meghan's most cherished memories. Wait, the ease and joy of a day?

[00:08:03]You didn't have your father to walk you down the aisle. Joy?

[00:08:09]You didn't have any family members there apart from your mother. Joy?

[00:08:14]Meghan's most cherished memories? A day without family?

[00:08:19]A day with fake friends, the Clooneys who said they didn't know her, Oprah who was just angling for an interview?

[00:08:27]Okay. So, she wants you to pay $64 for that to burn in your home in honor of her marriage, the marriage that the British public already paid $32 million for.

[00:08:44]I actually was kind of curious about the costing of the candles because I've got these wick candles that I bought in Italy. And they're about 20, 22 euros. I find them a little expensive, but they've got the candle wick that fires and it sounds like a fireplace and it's got beautiful scents. Of course, it's all natural and organic, but at 22 euros, I thought it's a lot for a candle, but hers go for $64.

[00:09:13]Now, I was curious, how does that compare to Jo Malone, right? Jo Malone, completely different league to Meghan Markle.

[00:09:21]Well, Jo Malone's candles were the same price, but Jo Malone is a brand. It's all curated.

[00:09:29]Meghan Markle just cobbles things together and wants us to buy it.

[00:09:34]Uh also, the candle for her wedding day, it was Moroccan mint. What has that got to do with her wedding day? I was actually very confused about that, so I'm going to put up a little recording that I did from her website, and you tell me if this makes any sense to you. It doesn't to me. It really doesn't.

[00:09:56]Then we've got number 084, her birthday, August the 4th.

[00:10:04]Okay. Now, look at how she labels these numbers, 084. That's the American way of writing dates.

[00:10:13]British, we write the day and then the date and then the year. So, 084, the 8th month, August, her birthday, August the 4th. And on the website, it's described as the signature scent that warms Meghan's family home, the scent of her birthday for your living room.

[00:10:38]But, hold on. Family home, family.

[00:10:45]The family that consists of Harry, who has no family left because of choices she, I believe, pushed him to make.

[00:10:57]The family, two children who have never met any of their relatives apart from Doria.

[00:11:08]Family candle?

[00:11:10]What family? What family are you talking about?

[00:11:14]I'm not buying it. I'm not buying the candle. I'm not buying the story.

[00:11:18]Then we've got Archie's birthday, May the 6th. So, 506.

[00:11:25]I don't know why it wasn't 056. What kind of Oh, okay.

[00:11:30]506.

[00:11:32]Okay.

[00:11:33]Lovingly crafted and curated by our founder. What founder, Meghan? I can create your brand like in 2 days.

[00:11:43]There's nothing special about it. So, her son's birthday, Archie's birthday as a product. We've done it in a previous video. Ginger, like his hair. And then we've got Lilibet's birthday. Lilibet, the Queen's name. Not Lily, Lilibet.

[00:11:59]Okay. Also a candle, $64. Both children monetized.

[00:12:06]She's monetizing and merching anyone and anything. But something we need to talk about is the pricing.

[00:12:16]But this is also weird. Meghan left a palace and today she's selling matches.

[00:12:25]And she has the What's the word I'm looking for?

[00:12:29]Audacity. It's one of my favorite words.

[00:12:32]The audacity, the gall.

[00:12:35]Yeah. To call this a lifestyle brand.

[00:12:38]It's not really a lifestyle brand. It's a couple of things she's cobbled together and she wants you and I to believe this is a lifestyle brand, like Jo Malone, like Goop. No, it's not. It's just a couple random things that you just shoved together.

[00:12:54]But I want to compare the prices. Can we do that for a moment? So, jam in the real world, you know, our world, the world of sane people, $3 jam from on Meghan Markle's as ever, $15.

[00:13:11]This one really irritates me.

[00:13:14]Flower sprinkles. Who needs flower sprinkles? But anyway, if you had to buy flower sprinkles in the real world, $3.

[00:13:22]Meghan Markle's flower sprinkles, $15.

[00:13:28]Honey, we have to talk about the honey, honey.

[00:13:31]$28.

[00:13:33]In the real world, $10. When I'm in Italy and I'm up in the mountains, I get organic honey, huge jars of real honey, Italian honey, and I pay 10 euros. I'm not paying $28 for Meghan Markle's syrupy honey.

[00:13:54]Then we have to talk about the bookmark, the leather bookmark, $18 because it's from As Ever. You can buy it on Amazon for $5. Save your money, people. Save your money. The candles, $64. Look, you can buy a candle at Aldi for $9. By the way, I've never been into an Aldi. Keep saying that I really, really want to go into one. I'm curious. But like I said, my Italian candles, huge. The wick, uh the fireside, you know, fireplace that actually it crackles. It's gorgeous.

[00:14:27]Those are 22. I'm not paying 64 for Meghan Markle's candles, especially because they are defective. We need to talk about that.

[00:14:37]And then if you want the box set because, you know, you desperately want her decorative commemorative matches, $256. But hey, anywhere in the real world, when you go out and maybe you want to buy a pack of cigarettes. By the way, I'm not a smoker, but you know, you do you.

[00:14:57]You can buy matches for a dollar.

[00:14:59]I think if you go back to my home country, South Africa, you probably pay 20 cents. Okay? And then the other thing she has that she's merching, that she's peddling, another one of her wares, sparkling wine, $89. You know what? Just go over to Italy, get a bottle of Prosecco. You can get it for $10. Probably going to be better quality than what Miss Markle's as ever is peddling.

[00:15:29]Now, $64 for candles that many customers say could not be lit because there were no wicks. Now, is that just catastrophic quality control failure or is it actually a metaphor for this entire as ever brand?

[00:15:54]You know, it looks good.

[00:15:57]It looks beautiful, but it does not work. Her brand is just like her candles. They are duds. Duds. They don't work.

[00:16:12]Someone said this on social media.

[00:16:15]She's so insanely out of touch, it's ridiculous. The 10% of the population that could afford her stuff, I'm going to push back on that. I don't think 10% of the population could afford it. I think it's less, okay? But that sector has been so put off that they'll never buy.

[00:16:36]Meghan Markle, out of touch. Her audience said it.

[00:16:43]She never fails to disappoint. When you think she this woman can't go any lower, she does.

[00:16:51]So, back to where we started. She burned the royal family. She burned the palace.

[00:16:56]She burned the goodwill of the entire British nation that was honestly, genuinely rooting for her in 2018.

[00:17:06]In 2018, they really were. They were so excited to have her on board.

[00:17:12]And then this week, she posted the softly lit image of a matchbox and she called it a small spark. Honestly, you cannot make this up. Meghan Markle is on a whole different level of madness and delusion.

[00:17:30]But, there's something else.

[00:17:32]Maybe I'm going too far.

[00:17:34]But, just bear with me for a moment here.

[00:17:40]Would you agree that the as ever brand Slow down this part. Just think about it, right?

[00:17:48]Is it possible that it's become a shrine?

[00:17:52]Not to a lifestyle, not to elegance, not to domesticity, not to the quiet rituals of a well-lived life. No, it's become a shrine to Meghan.

[00:18:07]Meghan's wedding, Meghan's birthday, Meghan's children's birthdays, Meghan's handwriting on a bookmark, Meghan's scent in your home.

[00:18:28]I would probably have to light sage after that to get rid of that bad energy. But, Meghan's spark.

[00:18:36]Spark in your fireplace.

[00:18:40]The woman actually thinks that she's cool and she's creative, but she's really lost the plot.

[00:18:50]Meghan Markle, she left the palace because the institution was too much about the institution, right?

[00:18:59]And she went off on her freedom flight, only to build an institution that's entirely about herself.

[00:19:07]You don't see Harry as part of the as ever brand, it's all about Meghan. I don't believe that was accidental. No, it was not accidental.

[00:19:19]Meghan doesn't do anything by accident.

[00:19:22]So, that tells you a lot about how she thinks.

[00:19:27]How she plots. How she plans.

[00:19:33]And you know, honestly, that caption, a small spark, arriving tomorrow. Is that a threat? Is she planning to burn down the royal family or to try again?

[00:19:46]Meghan burned every bridge she ever crossed. Let's be honest, the royal family, her family, her father, her siblings, the Clooneys, Oprah, Ted Sarandos, Tyler Perry, um what's the music producer guy?

[00:20:12]Um who also lent them a house?

[00:20:15]Let me know in the comments. Oh, my brain just went kind of dead right now.

[00:20:20]Um who else?

[00:20:22]Who else has she burned bridges with? Ah, the Kardashians because she made them take those photos down, right? Okay.

[00:20:32]So, she's the master of burning bridges and now she's selling you the mattress.

[00:20:38]Mm, for $256 [clears throat] named after herself, Meghan.

[00:20:45]And you know what? It's uh I just need to warn you if you are going to shell out, fork out $256, the week may may not be included, you know.

[00:20:56]Buy it at your own peril.

[00:20:59]>> [laughter] >> I think it's important to pay attention to the details. What people are selling you. Pay attention to what they name it.

[00:21:10]Pay attention to who they dedicated to because that right there is who they really are.

[00:21:18]And Meghan Markle, it's all about the Markle. She never fails to deliver.

[00:21:25]She never fails to disappoint.

[00:21:27]Sometimes she does it all at the same time, all in the same week.

[00:21:33]And by the way I'm also going to dive into how she tried to push William off the front page with her scones.

[00:21:42]Scones?

[00:21:44]Why are you cos playing the Brits, Meghan?

[00:21:48]You're American. Hot dogs. Stick with the hot dogs. Leave the rest of us alone.

[00:21:55]If you enjoy my royal roundups here on Decoded, would you take a moment to hit like, subscribe. If you have any hypes available, please hype me. Thank you to all you wonderfi wonderful people out there who do hype me. Would you like to share our channel with a friend?

[00:22:12]And also, I just want to say to my loyal subscribers, thank you so much for the insane watch time. I mean, most of you guys sit around watching me for more than 10 minutes.

[00:22:27]So, thank you. Thank you for joining me on this journey. I'm Naz and this is another royal roundup decoded by me.

[00:22:37]I'll see you in the next one. It's ciao for now.