"A BLACK MOTHER'S DICIPLINE!" Tommy Sotomayor REACTS| Panel DEBATE

Added: 2026-05-27

[00:00:02]You didn't learn to clean.

[00:00:04]If you saw violence being perpetrated against yourself every time you did something wrong, what all did you learn?

[00:00:13]That when someone does something wrong to you, you'd use violence against them.

[00:00:17]You rarely, which is a lot of people don't have in the black community, have this one big skill.

[00:00:23]Conflict resolution.

[00:00:25]And the reason we don't because we were always dominated.

[00:00:28]Even when we were children, our usually mothers say some of the dumbest things.

[00:00:34]Children are to be seen and not heard.

[00:00:36]What did you say n- We got another Tommy Sotomayor, Captain Tazaria, Saneda TV.

[00:00:45]All right. They going to debate capital punishment. All right.

[00:00:50]How should we be disciplining our children?

[00:00:52]Some interesting stories.

[00:00:54]Don't forget to like, share, subscribe.

[00:00:56]Leave a comment.

[00:00:58]Let's go.

[00:00:59]Uh last but not least, Mr. Sotomayor, is is it ever okay to hit in a relationship? And if not, what about corporal punishment towards your children for discipline?

[00:01:11]I don't know when people say is it ever okay. If you come at me with a knife, I'm going to punch you in the face. I mean, it's just what's going to happen.

[00:01:17]So, it's sometimes it's okay for me to for me to use some violence because there's some violence that's about to get used on me, number one.

[00:01:24]But number two, um I always find it strange. And I think everybody gave good answers. Except you, Saneda. Saneda, you gave that answer from that slave talk that my mama beat me to keep me from the police beating me. Let me tell you something from a psychologist standpoint.

[00:01:43]Usually, what do you learn if all you saw Let's imagine, if all you saw was a nasty house, what did you learn by the time you got old?

[00:01:52]How not to clean. You didn't learn to clean.

[00:01:55]If you saw violence being perpetrated against yourself every time you did something wrong, what all did you learn?

[00:02:04]That when someone does something wrong to you, you'd use violence against them.

[00:02:08]You rarely, which is a lot of people don't have in the black community, have this one big skill, conflict resolution.

[00:02:16]And the reason we don't because we were always dominated. Even when we were children, our usually mothers say some of the dumbest things.

[00:02:25]Children are to be seen and not heard.

[00:02:28]So, you're going to tell me this person went 18 years and never were heard, and now they grown, they supposed to go out into the world and know what to say.

[00:02:35]Well, they were never heard.

[00:02:36]So, we send people out into the world unprepared because we think beating them is the best thing. And especially when we say we beat them because the police going to beat them.

[00:02:48]The police ain't just out here beating people. So, it's a crazy thing to say cuz maybe we should tell them to obey laws.

[00:02:55]If they obeyed laws, they wouldn't get beat.

[00:02:57]I've been I'm 349 years old. I've never been beaten by a cop. But I remember hearing my mom say this. But you know who I have been beaten by?

[00:03:06][ __ ] The real problem is niggerism.

[00:03:09]Now, that has happened, but no cop has ever done it. And you know why nigros do that?

[00:03:14]Because they don't know how to have conflict resolution.

[00:03:18]When I was at your event, the brother came up to me and asked me several questions.

[00:03:23]I answered every one of them very thoroughly.

[00:03:27]After I finished, what did he say to me?

[00:03:30]Well, I don't like you anyway, [ __ ] and punched me when I turned my head to my back.

[00:03:34]And you know what that was all over?

[00:03:36]What he saw me say on the internet that he didn't like.

[00:03:39]And he believed, and a lot of people around him believed, that his actions were justified because if I don't like something, I can put my hands on somebody. And do you know where that comes from? Women.

[00:03:52]Women, like my man Cap just said. What they believe they can put their hands on a man and nothing will happen. I don't like what you said. I'll throw a drink in your face.

[00:04:00]We all know that if we do these things to a man, especially when we by ourselves, it's going to be a bunch of scrapping and there ain't going to be nobody that will save us. So, that's why you didn't see me get hit by myself standing out with that man. And that's why you didn't see him stand up and put up his dukes.

[00:04:14]Because he did like what a woman does.

[00:04:16]They hit you and then the crew come and save them when you get ready to beat up.

[00:04:19]Maybe we should keep our hands to ourselves. Today's been some wonderful answers and I'll wrap it up with this though.

[00:04:26]When it comes to a relationship, I think it's a funny dynamic that we as adults believe that if children do something wrong, corporal punishment fits. We should beat them. I'm recording you.

[00:04:36]You are being recorded. Absolutely not.

[00:04:39]Absolutely not.

[00:04:42]Well, what is the thing we know about children?

[00:04:44]Children are just learning life. They don't know better.

[00:04:48]We say, "I told you to clean up that room. You didn't. I'mma whoop your ass."

[00:04:53]Cool.

[00:04:55]Well, lady, I told you to have my dinner ready when I came home and you grown as hell. You don't live way longer than this child. So, shouldn't I be able to whoop your ass cuz you didn't do what I said?

[00:05:03]What did you say, [ __ ] How about if you didn't clean that room and you knew you were supposed to clean that room? You're a grown woman.

[00:05:10]So, I can beat a child because the child didn't clean the room. I can beat a child because they didn't follow my orders. But because you're an adult, I got to keep my hands to myself?

[00:05:19]Well, last I checked in boxing matches, they try to match up people who are closest together for fights. And I wasn't close to that child, so I shouldn't have been putting my hands on that child. But you and me about the same size, lady. So, I should be able to get you in the ring. So, if you don't want me putting you in the ring, quit putting your hands on that child.

[00:05:37]How about raise children that understand what you're saying, comprehend what you're saying, but ultimately have enough respect for you to follow your rules. So, you don't got to put your hands on them. I'll just write notes.

[00:05:50]>> Get your phone, Tommy, and then I'll and then I'll say Yeah, I'll just write notes. Say what you want, forget it.

[00:05:56]Go ahead, I'll just take notes.

[00:05:58]Okay.

[00:06:00]You know what? So, I can't I came up in your era, okay? What I'm saying is I had so many beatings that I said I'm never going to beat my children. I'm going to find a different way on how to deal with my kids. I think only one of my kids ever had a spanking from me.

[00:06:18]Right? And after that spanking, I think I cried with my child. It It didn't make a difference. They still do stuff. Just because you beat their behind and they you could beat their behind for the same thing over and over and over and they still do the same things. Like you get you get a beating for wetting the bed.

[00:06:36]You get a beating for um you know, saying a cuss word or like you said, being caught smoking or whatever, but it doesn't stop the child from doing uh bad things. But, what you would consider bad instead of you could have sat down and talked with the child, told them why you didn't want them to do this, how it can affect their life.

[00:06:56]I think that there was a different way that we could have we could work with our children without beating them.

[00:07:02]You know, I I just think that there's a different way. I found a different way of of dealing with my my kids because I know even though you beat them, they're still going to pee the bed. You could just whoop their behind for peeing the bed.

[00:07:18]Not with my dirty ass.

[00:07:20]And they the next night, they pee the bed again. So, it don't always work. And you just think about your own life when you grew up. You still ended up in jail, not saying you. I'm talking about in general, people. You still ended up in jail. You still did this. You still did that.

[00:07:39]So, all that beating not all the time works. It it just doesn't.

[00:07:45]You know what I'm saying? As far as what um Captain Sazakwas was saying about that >> Sazakwas Sazakwas. I'm sorry if I didn't pronounce it.

[00:07:55]Boy, y'all sit your stupid ass down. Who the [ __ ] you think you is? But um it was Big Mama that walked in the house.

[00:08:04]You know me, you be good. You know when Big Mama walked in the house is when everybody was scared.

[00:08:12]In my in my growing up, when she walked in, everybody was like, "Ooh, here come my mom. We got to we got to get it right." cuz she was the one who handed out the whoopings and Pop was right there, too. But it was always Big Mama that handed that handed out the behind whoopings.

[00:08:27]I'm going to do you one better. Black mothers that are immigrants, they really don't be playing when it comes to, you know, punishment. But I'm going to do you one more. Black immigrant mothers from Central America or the Caribbean, diabolical. I'm going to give you three examples. When I was around 10 years old, I found a pack of matches um in our kitchen and I went to the basement and I would strike them and then blow them out blow them out and strike them and blow them out. I didn't know my mommy was right behind me and she caught me. She grabbed me by the wrist and she brought me upstairs to the kitchen in front of the sink and she handed me a piece of paper towel. She lit the towel on fire and she said, "If you drop it, I'm giving you a whooping." Y'all, I watched as the fire got closer and closer and closer to my hand and I'm traumatized.

[00:09:07]I'm screaming cuz you know, you know it's going to burn. I'm just like, "What is going on?" Right before it gets to my hand, she says, "Okay, drop it." The napkin falls in the sink, she turns on the water, it goes away and she goes, "Don't ever [ __ ] light matches in my house again." Just saying the story out loud makes me realize how crazy she is.

[00:09:23]All right, go ahead, Kwame.

[00:09:25]All right. I'm going to give y'all two words.

[00:09:28]Recidivism and calluses.

[00:09:32]Hopefully y'all know what they mean, but if you don't, callus.

[00:09:36]Typically, you will get a callus on your hands from what? Doing repetition of hard work, labor, or activity that is repetitive, which then teaches your skin to be used to it and not have the pain to it anymore.

[00:09:49]Recidivism means that your ass keeps going back to jail. You got out, you went back. You got out, you went back.

[00:09:58]Now, black folks keep thinking that well, well, I know this guy and he got beat and he said it made him not go to jail.

[00:10:07]Well, I know plenty of people in jail who said, "Yeah, I got my ass whooped. I just didn't listen to my Except for the difference is, the coin falls more times on get my ass beat didn't stop me from doing what it was I was doing. Cuz if that's the case, then we might as well let the cops whip our kids' ass. If y'all logic is beating will stop a person from doing it, then go on let the cop do it. Then let the teacher do it. And let the neighbor do it. Let everybody beat your child so your child will become a good citizen.

[00:10:40]That's not how it works, which is why I say the things that I say. Y'all know I always jump myself in and point to the things in the audience. I notice I came here and I spend my time and I make sure that I give very good stuff. But because you a lot of the black men that and women that's raised in y'all's audience that get together to watch y'all have been raised by disrespectful and abusive people, the first thing they do when I walk into your show is to start being disrespectful. I'm Tom. I got mommy issues. That's how [ __ ] like to talk to each other. They don't think that they can have a situation where they're not disrespectful. Why? Cuz they grew up in that. They grew up in the era of all we do is Joan. So, all we do is try to get under other people's skin.

[00:11:24]And you keep trying to get under my skin, what did I learn from being in my mama's house or being in that house where beating is?

[00:11:31]To fight you cuz you just disrespected me. How many black black fights physical or death has happened and they told you so and so disrespected me?

[00:11:42]So, my thought of dealing with stuff comes from when I was a kid, a child, that if you disrespect your mama, you going to get hurt. And the sad way, that's why I like when the young lady said, "We have these people who if they get they beat these boys with these women, they have a different thought of how women are." She said, "Big Mama come in that's the only people that they respect." I remember that. My mama didn't have no respect for no man, but she had a whole lot of respect for her for my grandmama. That's the only person I ever seen get my mama told.

[00:12:13]Shout out to the Crimson Cure who coined the phrase hyena, all right, the hyena kingdom, which is a matrilineal ran kingdom, like the actual hyena kingdom, where the women run everything and and starve and disrespect the men, all right, that's the opposite of the patriarchy.

[00:12:38]And that way in in in in in in in in in human life, in human form, that's not a good formula.

[00:12:45]That's a bad situation when the only person can get a woman told is a bigger or older woman. What does that show boys? It shows boys that they got to worry about what they say or how they say it, but women don't have to worry about anything. Why do you think when you have a conversation with these young women today and you try to point out some good direction to them, what will they tell you? "I'm grown." Goes back to what I said earlier, because you told this person, "Children should be seen and not heard." You know what that child learned? That as soon as I turn 18, can't nobody tell me nothing.

[00:13:19]Kanye West got a song like that. I can get to the point where you can't tell me nothing, which means I now cannot be told anything and I don't have to listen to anything. You give that kind of power to the weakest of your vessels, women, cuz they are the weakest physically.

[00:13:32]What they're going to do is do just like the ninth grade kid whose brothers are senior.

[00:13:38]You know what the ninth grade kid always does? Pick on people who bigger than him. Why?

[00:13:43]Cuz you know his big brother going to come save him.

[00:13:45]Women do not did not earn that power. The big [ __ ] on the block, you know why everybody scared of him?

[00:13:52]Cuz he whooped ass. He earned that title.

[00:13:55]That's a fact. If you enjoying the content, don't forget to like, share, subscribe, and leave a comment. Tommy cooking. Women didn't earn it.

[00:14:03]It was given to them.

[00:14:05]They ain't beat no no no man. They ain't beat They didn't beat nobody. It's just men say, "You can't put your hands on that female." Which then makes that woman like that ninth grader want to put their hands more on other people cuz they believe there's this invisible uh mirror. I'll give you black folks right now.

[00:14:23]We love calling white folks crackers, flat black fat backs, all kind of stupid names y'all got for these white people.

[00:14:29]They still got one name for y'all that send you running. You that [ __ ] The N-word.

[00:14:37]Years, decades of N-word. It ain't changed. They got one one bullet loaded in their gun that will always send you off. But you spend your whole life trying to find new words to insult them and they supposed to just listen to it.

[00:14:48]They don't get fired from it You don't get fired from your job. You don't get a score You don't get nothing that happens to you when you keep coming up with all these euphemisms for whites. Yet they got the one in the gun and then they going to give it to you, you going to be upset. That's why I talk about the people in the audience. Leave me the hell alone. But you won't leave me the hell alone cuz you think it's funny to do it. So then don't get mad why you hate me for all these years with all the stuff that I put up there cuz it ain't mama issues, it's [ __ ] issues. Y'all spent your whole life trying to be mean to people. So when people get a chance to be mean back to you, they do it. So the best thing to do is just leave me alone cuz every time I hear it, I go extra white. Anyway, that's the thing.

[00:15:25]Stop being disrespectful and abusive to people, and black people never learned that because we spent our time growing up being abused. That's They think you being What is the main thing we usually say in the black community? I ain't no punk.

[00:15:42]It looks like you being a punk if you put your hand up and say, "Well, I don't want to fight."

[00:15:45]Yeah. They'll go back and say, "You was a punk."

[00:15:48]That's why there's so many dead brothers down, because they don't want to be looked at as punks.

[00:15:55]And the topic at hand is disciplining bad kids nowadays.

[00:16:02]True.

[00:16:04]You go. Go ahead, baby. So, the question The question that we would like to know.

[00:16:09]We've been together. Everybody know how long we've been together.

[00:16:13]Um no, I don't. Friend said that I was wrong to discipline the boys. I said, "The daddy not here, and if we don't do it, and if I don't help her do it, the man is going to do it. So, do we sit here and let them run over us and eventually have the people in our life?"

[00:16:32]>> Mhm.

[00:16:33]Wait, hold up.

[00:16:35]So, why the daddy not there?

[00:16:38]Let me guess.

[00:16:40]He just left.

[00:16:42]discipline the boys. No, do what we do with it. Belt to ass. Cuz we don't have a problem with it. We don't. Because here's the thing, I'm the type of mother that's not going to be the type to be like, "Oh, don't whoop them. Don't whoop my kids.

[00:16:57]>> Right. So, I'm the type of mother that's not I'm not going to ask my girlfriend of 6 years to watch my kids go to the nail shop, the store, beaut- school, just damn hell, just laying here, and they doing the most, and I got to call you to come Yeah, she Yeah, I she had to call me. Now, it's okay for her to feed them, clothe them, take them to the barber shop, and provide a roof over their head. But when it's time to discipline them, belt to ass belt to ass, as we call it in this household, some people feel like I'm wrong for allowing her to discipline my two little boys.

[00:17:30]>> And I'm wrong for doing it. And she's wrong for doing it. Keep in mind, this is not a mother and father household.

[00:17:37]These This is two women trying to raise two little boys.