The Terrifying Truth about Hantavirus | Cooked in the Comments

Added: 2026-05-25

[00:00:00]We're back. Welcome to another episode of Cooked in the Comments. The show where we scour the internet for viral videos and highlight some of our favorite comments on those videos. I'm Cole Garrett.

[00:00:08]>> I'm Chappelle Lacy.

[00:00:10]>> Audrey Stewart.

[00:00:11]>> Audrey Stewart. Great. Audrey, you actually did it on Q this time. That was really good. This is only your 50th time here.

[00:00:17]>> She got it. Yeah. And on the on the couch next to Audrey, very special guest, ladies and gentlemen, we have actress and hilarious comedian Chloe Radcliffe.

[00:00:27]>> Yes.

[00:00:28]>> Wow. I don't know if it's a good thing or a bad thing that now my first intro is actress.

[00:00:33]>> Hey, I threw it in there. I threw it in there.

[00:00:36]>> Part of me is flatter, but part of me is like, I'm a [ __ ] standup.

[00:00:39]>> Yeah. But I think closing on it though is nice.

[00:00:41]>> Respect, man.

[00:00:42]>> Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Actress. And >> the stand up tops it off.

[00:00:45]>> Yeah. Yeah. The stand up is that's the most importantly hilarious comedian, but also actress.

[00:00:51]>> Yeah. Congratulations, by the way.

[00:00:52]>> Thank you so much. Thank you.

[00:00:54]>> What? You didn't see it?

[00:00:55]>> No.

[00:00:57]>> Whoa. All right, we're going to have to take this again. Uh, >> wow.

[00:01:01]>> No, I'm in the the Bradley Cooper movie about standup.

[00:01:04]>> WELL, WHAT THE HELL?

[00:01:04]>> YEAH, WHAT THE HELL?

[00:01:05]>> HONESTLY, THAT'S WHAT I'M SAYING. That's what I'm saying to you. I need to get out of here.

[00:01:09]>> It was great. You were so good in it.

[00:01:11]>> I got to watch it. No, I haven't watched it yet, but I need to watch it.

[00:01:13]>> Yeah. That's awesome.

[00:01:14]>> You're definitely not going to watch it.

[00:01:15]But anyway, >> she doesn't need to, >> but she should. And she should have before this. Like, I asked her to.

[00:01:24]>> Yeah. YEAH. YOU'RE LIKE, YOU'RE LIKE, can I talk to you real quick outside?

[00:01:29]H let's get into some of the first uh clips here. Okay, I saw these two clips and they're kind of funny because they're like opposite of each other. Two different experiences of going out to the bar and sort of getting drunk with your friends. Um this we'll see if you guys think this is funny or not, but uh this was one of those clips where the more I watched it, so they're racing.

[00:01:51]>> Yes, they're racing outside the pub.

[00:01:53]>> The more I watched it, the funnier it got. Okay. So, he's he's actually catching up.

[00:02:00]>> Oh my god. Oh my god.

[00:02:03]>> I've got that.

[00:02:03]>> Wait, also why are Also, none of them are are sprinting over this one guy just casually strolls to see if he's okay.

[00:02:10]>> First of all, running like a baby deer right out the gate, bro. And then he holds him up, catches it, and then look, he's running with his head down. Listen to the sound.

[00:02:19]>> Jesus Christ. Does he break the glass?

[00:02:21]>> Yes. Oh, >> wait. I got that.

[00:02:24]>> Wait. Okay, I'm going to show you one more time. Focus on his one friend's laugh in the background. Yes, dude. It [ __ ] kills me.

[00:02:33]>> Wait, what if his legs are sleeping?

[00:02:45]It's so evil.

[00:02:46]>> Yeah, it's evil. This is the most boy video I've ever seen. Like, NOT ONLY LIKE OBVIOUSLY >> NOT a girl in sight.

[00:02:52]>> Not a girl in sight.

[00:02:53]>> Yeah. Not a GIRL IN SIGHT. NOT A GIRL.

[00:02:55]NO, the the person behind the camera is not a girl. The right and like obviously we're not doing foot races in the rain outside of a pub in I'm going to say I'm going to guess slow, England. A bad place.

[00:03:08]We're not doing that. But but even if we were the second somebody's like badly badly injured, you would expect they like a swarm of people to be like and not a single person moves strolled over, >> bro. Not only not only do they not move, there's a group of them. Okay, there's a group of them that turn around and go back into the into the pub. Okay, look behind. I have a I have a screenshot of it, too.

[00:03:33]>> Okay. Okay. See, look at these guys.

[00:03:35]THEY GO, WE'RE OUT OF HERE. WE'RE OUT OF HERE.

[00:03:38]And the guy who walks over is so casual and takes 30 seconds.

[00:03:43]>> So, so slow on it.

[00:03:44]>> I bet he doesn't even help him up. He just picks something up.

[00:03:46]>> Okay, this will be the last time I play this. Sorry. God, the more I watch it, it just gets so funny.

[00:03:50]>> I like how he says one minute.

[00:03:54]>> And you know what I say to that? Roll tide, baby. Get him on the football team. Let's go, baby. Get him on the [ __ ] football team.

[00:04:00]>> That's a full bag.

[00:04:01]>> That's a full bag right there.

[00:04:02]>> The guy behind the camera DOESN'T REACT AT ALL, DUDE. He just holds it. He runs.

[00:04:08]He doesn't He doesn't jump. He just goes, "I've got that.

[00:04:11]>> I've got I got that. I've got that."

[00:04:13]>> And he's being cheeky behind the camera, too. He's like, "What is his one of his legs is >> also the guy who goes That's a false start. That's a false start. That's false start."

[00:04:20]>> The guy with the crossed arms is crazy.

[00:04:22]>> Oh, yeah.

[00:04:23]>> Wait, wait, wait. Time out. Go back to that.

[00:04:25]>> Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

[00:04:26]>> Girl right there. See her?

[00:04:28]>> This is a girl thing to do.

[00:04:29]>> And she's mortified.

[00:04:30]>> She's mortified. See? Yeah. She's mortified.

[00:04:33]>> Wow. Okay. So there's just one, >> but also get in there and nurture him.

[00:04:37]>> And you know, you know, the whole time she was like, "Guys, this is a bad idea."

[00:04:41]>> But you can't, but as a girl, in a group of guys, you can't be like, "Somebody's going to get badly injured cuz then you sound like a [ __ ] loser, whiny, worried girl, and you want to be chill and you want to be cool >> and you're just like, I know that this is going to go badly. Not because I'm a worry wart, but because I've lived a life before. because I've made decisions before and I can conceive of what's going to come at the end of the day.

[00:05:05]>> This is this is why women sprint race >> and it's raining outside.

[00:05:10]>> Slippery.

[00:05:11]>> Yeah, you're right though. She can't say [ __ ] They be like, "Dan, your girlfriend sucks."

[00:05:15]>> SHE'S A BUZZ.

[00:05:16]>> NOT EVEN NOT even finding like a open lot. They're just like, "Let's do it right here in front of the bar in front of the bar."

[00:05:20]>> All these things are right there.

[00:05:21]>> Someone said, "Did he catch his buzz?"

[00:05:26]>> He said had the diabolically wicked laugh in the background. I think we just broke tried to get to the platform 9 and 3/4.

[00:05:35]That's a good one. That's a Harry Potter reference for Chappelle. He doesn't know. Yeah, they run through the wall.

[00:05:41]Um I was I did some screenshots here.

[00:05:43]This guy and then the guys I just [ __ ] were like, "All righting, time to get another drink."

[00:05:48]Huh. Um so So today I learned a bus stop can stop people, too.

[00:05:54]>> That's incredible.

[00:05:54]>> Pretty good.

[00:05:55]>> That's a good one. So, now I'll show you the other version of this uh where it's like this is this is the guy that you sort of wish you could be who you always think you are when you're drunk, right?

[00:06:07]Okay. This is a bar. All right. There's a tree in the middle of this bar. This guy jumps up on this [ __ ] tree.

[00:06:14]>> Okay, >> check this [ __ ] out.

[00:06:16]>> And okay, so and the the security comes out.

[00:06:19]>> Is this tenant at the trees in downtown LA?

[00:06:22]>> Dude, it might be. I don't know. Okay.

[00:06:24]And he's on the roof. Okay. So, he's gone. He's gone.

[00:06:28]>> I not at all. Check this out. Ready?

[00:06:32]>> What are we gonna do?

[00:06:33]>> So, he comes back, right?

[00:06:37]>> And he's behind the security going.

[00:06:41]>> Bravo.

[00:06:42]>> Incred.

[00:06:44]That's so incredible. Bravo. That is so And he's like, "Yeah."

[00:06:50]>> Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I think >> that's the most beautiful thing I've ever said. That was CIA needs to recruit this man.

[00:06:57]>> Seriously, >> literally, that was so good to be like that like drunk at a bar and be able to put all of those pieces together is [ __ ] >> See, he he can like that's big brain sight, you know? He can see what he needs to do.

[00:07:12]>> Yeah, he knew he knew.

[00:07:13]>> And then he's an actor, too, at the end.

[00:07:15]He's like, you know, he was like, "Oh my gosh, did you see that guy?"

[00:07:18]>> I think he climbed up that way. I mean, >> he definitely went to Giuliard 100%. perfectly executed till his boy started tweaking. Literally this guy.

[00:07:29]>> First of all, who goes, bro, he didn't have to go that hard.

[00:07:32]>> I know. But if that's your boy, you know what I mean? And you see that? That's the face you make.

[00:07:37]>> I think we're going that hard in this.

[00:07:40]>> Yeah. Literally. Literally.

[00:07:42]>> What if we watch that and we were like >> like Yeah. Yeah.

[00:07:46]>> I'd rather if he crashed head first into a bus stop, but >> but this is cool. Uh, not him actively helping security look for himself.

[00:07:56]>> Yeah, >> looking all night, too. They're going to be like, "He disappeared."

[00:07:59]>> But see, but see, he could pull it off as a black man. I don't think I could.

[00:08:02]>> They're going to They're going to know it's me.

[00:08:05]>> The next black guy to me.

[00:08:06]>> If for no if for no other reason than that was a very white bar.

[00:08:08]>> Yeah, I was going to say I was going to say, "Did you look around?" And yeah, a lot of black people.

[00:08:15]>> They're like, "Bro, put your hands BEHIND YOUR BACK."

[00:08:19]THE MOMENT HE SEES THE BLACK HAND GO, IT'S UP THERE. He goes, "Dude, put your [ __ ] >> The only chance you have is the security being like, oh, another security guy.

[00:08:30]>> Thank you, brother. Help me.

[00:08:31]>> Help me. Did you see the roof?

[00:08:36]>> Did you GET HIM?" CUZ I DID.

[00:08:38]>> OH my god. What a great point. And this this last one. Absolute Looney Tunes re-entry. I don't even think I think Looney Tunes is not giving it enough credit. I think that is like Mission Impossible reaction. That is like Tom Cruz in a bathroom pulling a face off of his own face.

[00:08:54]>> I mean, yeah, because there was so many security out there. He's still on the roof right behind him and managed to just just hop down and try to snitch on himself.

[00:09:04]>> It's incredible.

[00:09:06]>> You know what? Here's my Okay. I I steal a lot.

[00:09:11]>> What?

[00:09:12]>> Whoa. Let's get into this.

[00:09:14]This is like a >> the MOST WHITE WOMAN.

[00:09:16]>> NO, I'm telling you cuz like I so I don't know how much you know about but I was a cheerleader, right? And so I you know I have a lot of girlfriends in my life, right?

[00:09:25]>> And >> they all steal.

[00:09:27]>> Yeah, we all steal.

[00:09:28]>> I don't know what the [ __ ] it is.

[00:09:29]>> It's the thing is that it's because like we >> got money. You got to BE STEALING STUFF.

[00:09:33]WELL, YOU'RE too I tried one time.

[00:09:37]One time I was like I was at the selfch checkckout and I had so much in my hand and I forgot to scan these uh the dangle earrings. So I go I got to I got to either walk to my car and just steal them or or run back in. I ran back in. I was like I STOLE THESE.

[00:09:50]>> THAT'S so pathetic. She's already home.

[00:09:54]She's already home >> with that voice.

[00:09:57]>> Oh no.

[00:09:58]>> I SAW THESE. I AM SORRY. And they're like just keep it man. That's funny. I no. Well, it's I mean it's I think it's in the same way that like why white people like horror movies the most. It's like when there is less stress in our lives inherently. We like need something push against when we do Iron Man's.

[00:10:22]We're just spoiled and so we're looking for for Yeah. for tension.

[00:10:25]>> Wait, what's the biggest thing you stole?

[00:10:28]>> I Well, I used this is like a medium steel. I used to work at Target headquarters in corporate. Like I I was like a business and so I mean the amount of product in those buildings is insane.

[00:10:38]And I did take two Dyson vacuums >> from just proactive. What >> dude I was thinking like she said THIS IS A MEDIUM ONE VACUUM.

[00:10:52]>> MY MOM has one and I HAVE THE OTHER.

[00:10:54]>> They're huge. You just I mean like later in that building people walk out with [ __ ] all the time and so it's just like you just had to know the right person who worked on the right floor. We picked him up and just straight out the door, >> you know, which is fair. I I I get that because my brother, he worked at a furniture store and he was the only person that knew what was coming in and what was coming out. So, he was slanging beds all the time. He was stealing them and selling them, bro.

[00:11:19]>> Selling what?

[00:11:19]>> Beds.

[00:11:21]Yeah.

[00:11:21]>> Did he mattresses or like bed?

[00:11:23]>> Oh, sorry. Mattresses. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

[00:11:24]>> Wait. Me being afraid to steal like small earrings and Chloe's like two huge mattresses, ONE BIG MATTRESS.

[00:11:30]CHAPPELLE'S BOY HAS A CALIFORNIA king over his head.

[00:11:33]>> THAT'S THE THING IS THAT IF YOU just Okay, so here's my motto and this goes back to this guy. So, you know, everybody's like, you just have to look like you know what you're doing, right?

[00:11:41]You just have to look confident. But my more specific motto is no one is ever looking, but don't get greedy.

[00:11:49]>> That's the That's the duality of life.

[00:11:52]No one is ever >> That's why they always fell in these [ __ ] heist movies.

[00:11:56]>> Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. And that guy that guy knew no one was ever looking.

[00:12:00]>> Yeah.

[00:12:00]>> And then he was like he got he got a little too greedy. I think it is. And the friends the friends like we're gonna give him away. That's what you get when you get greedy. Even if he's still in control, someone else around him is not in control.

[00:12:11]>> That's my life motto. That's too >> And that's ladies and gentlemen, how you get two Dyson vacuums.

[00:12:18]>> That is a crazy >> just walking [ __ ] >> Hey guys, have a good day. I ALREADY CLOCKED OUT BUSINESS. IT'S OUR BUSINESS.

[00:12:25]YEAH, >> we're good. We're good. Yeah, >> dude. That's so funny.

[00:12:29]>> I work here. Oh, goodness.

[00:12:31]>> Oh my goodness. Well, Chloe, when you're not stealing two Dyson vacuums, I mean, and you're home hanging out. Are you scrolling a lot on the phone?

[00:12:39]>> I am trying so [ __ ] hard not to.

[00:12:41]>> Oh boy, my statement system.

[00:12:44]>> I'm at that point now.

[00:12:45]>> I'm in the I just can feel like if I scroll too long, I stand up and I'm like, "Oh, I feel drunk."

[00:12:50]>> Yeah. Yeah.

[00:12:51]>> Like I like my eyes have to like refocus on anything that's farther than 6 in away from my face. Yeah. No, I'm really like I can't get behind the wheel of a car right now, you know. Yeah. No, it's bad. I Yeah, I can get really sucked in and I try very hard not to, but then the problem is that trying hard not to means >> that then I just don't go on it at all and then I'm not posting and that's bad for my career, right?

[00:13:13]>> Isn't that suck?

[00:13:14]>> Like what? It's a vicious cycle. I just ordered crossword puzzles cuz I'm going to get dementia.

[00:13:19]>> Yeah. Do you mostly scroll on Instagram or Tik Tok?

[00:13:22]>> Instagram. I'm not Tik Tok at all.

[00:13:24]>> Yeah, >> I am not Tik Tok at all. Honestly, Instagram and weirdly uh Twitter I get like my life gets sucked away by Twitter.

[00:13:33]>> And I know that Twitter is like worse than ever these days, but I think I would rather read than watch a video.

[00:13:39]>> It's faster. Like I can I feel like I can like consume more, >> but then I'm always like I'm only gonna be on here for five minutes and not it's it's >> and you can be on Twitter for like hours >> hours. Really?

[00:13:50]>> What kind of tweets do you like? Like like the >> I love like smart funny joke tweets. I wish that reading smart funny jokes made me be like, "Oh, I have a smart funny joke off of that." And it doesn't. I reading it I'm just like that's good.

[00:14:05]>> That's amazing. I I like it's I don't find it inspiring at all. I have to work really hard. Here's my my safe scrolls.

[00:14:13]>> The ones that I'm like I want the little hit of scrolling, but I can't get sucked in are Craigslist free listings, >> which I check probably three times a day.

[00:14:22]>> Okay.

[00:14:24]>> Facebook Marketplace, which I can lose a lot of time to, but I can I'm like more on top of it. I'm more on top of it.

[00:14:30]>> Uh and then eBay. Those are my like any shopping apps. And I don't actually spend a lot of money. I just I like search for the Yeah. I'm the cheapest person I've ever met. I'm very very cheap. And so that's fine.

[00:14:43]>> Yeah. Yeah. Thank you. I'm proud of it.

[00:14:45]But so it means that like I don't spend a lot of money, but I do like looking.

[00:14:48]>> And that's Yeah, we can always look.

[00:14:50]>> That's my Yeah.

[00:14:50]>> Do you pick stuff up from the free thing on Craigslist?

[00:14:53]>> I have I have lost so much of my life >> to biking to Washington Heights to buy a lamp that doesn't work. To pick up a free lamp that doesn't work. Yeah. You're a biker.

[00:15:06]>> I'm a biker. I bike every day. That's awesome.

[00:15:08]>> Yeah.

[00:15:09]>> Yeah.

[00:15:09]>> I mean around New York, too.

[00:15:11]>> Around New York. You want to see a picture of a I'm going to show you a picture of a of one of my one of my proudest >> I should have had this just pulled up.

[00:15:18]>> Do you ever do any competitions or anything like that? Or like >> competitions for what? Finding free things or for biking?

[00:15:23]>> Both.

[00:15:24]>> Okay. This is my bedroom. And most of this stuff was free. But this >> Wait, this is beautiful.

[00:15:29]>> Is a $700 light fixture that I got for $20. And then I strapped it to a backpack. It's 4 ft wide. and I biked it home.

[00:15:35]>> This is huge to bike home. This is also there's a little >> Here's the picture and then scroll in on the scroll in on the picture. No, >> wait. That is >> That's my bedroom. Everything I got in there >> and or like or get zoom in on the light fixture.

[00:15:47]>> Okay. Holy [ __ ] This >> strapped it to a backpack. Your back.

[00:15:52]>> I I have a like roll backpack and I rolled it and then so I couldn't stand I like standing up it would I I'd think it wouldn't hit the ground but it almost hit the ground. But then getting on my bike, it was like out to here and I had to just go like twice as slow to get.

[00:16:08]>> Yo, that's that's me.

[00:16:09]>> All these cars are like Jesus.

[00:16:11]>> OH, PEOPLE HATED ME. People were so mad at me. But I was like, it's going to be the worst 45 minutes of my life and then I get this [ __ ] light fixture for $20 and it's a $700.

[00:16:20]>> So, I asked uh asked Lloyd to send me something from her algorithm and this is what you had sent over here. Let's see >> this now. Yeah.

[00:16:28]>> Okay.

[00:16:30]Watch me get rid of >> what does that say?

[00:16:32]>> Watch me get rid of my nasol labial fold.

[00:16:36]>> What the hell is that?

[00:16:37]>> What's a nasal labial?

[00:16:38]>> These lines.

[00:16:39]>> Oh, >> is that what it's called? Which I feel very I >> got rid of my nasol labial fold on this >> [ __ ] dumb brain rot [ __ ] [ __ ] nonsense.

[00:16:53]>> And you're like, I'm going to watch.

[00:16:54]>> She's fine. She's fine. Yeah, totally gets sucked in. Yeah.

[00:16:57]>> And also more than that, I'm like, >> yeah, >> maybe this is how I will be more beautiful and therefore more valuable.

[00:17:04]>> Maybe this is how I increase my worth as a woman in the entertainment industry.

[00:17:08]>> WE ACTUALLY >> THAT'S 100% ALL THIS [ __ ] >> This is everything.

[00:17:11]>> That's all this [ __ ] >> When she said the nasal labia thing, did you hear the other girl went h >> Oh, she thought it was like a joke.

[00:17:17]>> Wait, or did I make that up?

[00:17:20]>> Those are just the voices in your head.

[00:17:22]>> Feels really nice with this.

[00:17:23]>> Yeah.

[00:17:27]Oh, dude. I feel like Yeah, you could go down such a crazy rabbit hole with like beauty videos.

[00:17:31]>> Oh, I think that's what most women I think I think the vast majority of women's algorithms.

[00:17:35]>> No, I'm locked into this cuz I'm starting to get into Jesus.

[00:17:39]>> She's got a great face.

[00:17:40]>> Oh, she's [ __ ] gorgeous.

[00:17:42]>> Oh, these are my favorite.

[00:17:43]>> Oh, I do these.

[00:17:44]>> I do these every day.

[00:17:45]>> Me, too.

[00:17:45]>> Every day.

[00:17:46]>> Yes.

[00:17:47]>> Beautiful under damn.

[00:17:51]>> You liked it?

[00:17:52]>> I love skin care, bro.

[00:17:53]>> I'm just now getting into it. started kicking his feet. Uh, >> what is she doing with the Oh, yeah.

[00:17:57]That's the red light. So many things.

[00:17:59]>> Did you do red light therapy?

[00:18:00]>> Uh, I have a thing. My boyfriend when I was I was so [ __ ] stressed and depressed.

[00:18:07]>> Okay. I I like starved myself before the movie that I was in. I starved myself to a like hospitalization level. And not because anybody told me, not like nobody involved in the movie, just I just was like, I know I'm going to be on camera and I want to look as good as I can.

[00:18:21]Also, for what it's worth, my mom was like, I watched the movie and you like, you didn't you looked totally normal.

[00:18:28]And I was like, that's the problem. I was I was like could barely stand up without fainting, starving, and I looked normal on camera. That's like that's the problem with cameras. But anyway, hey, [ __ ] you. [ __ ] YOU, CAMERA. NOT TO THE PEOPLE WATCHING IT, JUST TO the camera.

[00:18:43]Anyway, I was super depressed and I felt like I was going to look really bad on camera and my boyfriend bought me basically that thing >> really. And I it was $450.

[00:18:53]>> You mean you have very good skin.

[00:18:54]>> I was gonna say your skin does look phenomenal though.

[00:18:56]>> It's working.

[00:18:57]>> I never used that.

[00:18:58]>> Never used it.

[00:18:59]>> And he and he it's so sweet and he spent so much money. Yeah. You can have it.

[00:19:02]Yeah. I mean it's >> Wait. And you can you can date my boyfriend and >> and the two of you will have a beautiful life together.

[00:19:11]>> That's all I've ever wanted.

[00:19:13]>> That's it.

[00:19:14]>> Wait. when you were on set and did you still feel like that like like you were going to like faint?

[00:19:19]>> Then I started eating again.

[00:19:21]>> Okay. Cuz I can't imagine being under that level of pressure and being in front of those cameras and having and and then also feeling cuz you I would imagine >> you're I mean you I'm not acting with Will Arnett. I mean >> with Bradley Cooper having a a camera on his shoulders a foot away from your face.

[00:19:38]>> That's like the That's like the highest level of that.

[00:19:41]>> Were you nervous each day?

[00:19:42]>> Yeah. Yeah. I would be [ __ ] myself.

[00:19:44]>> I would imagine like you're already having all of these nerves and maybe feeling slightly lightheaded. I know I would for sure. So on top of that, like not having food in your stomach, I would imagine would be like just >> I started eating again, but the but then the problem is uh okay, I'm going to tell the story. I'm like, we can get back to the videos, but I >> Yeah, you're good. You're good.

[00:19:59]>> Uh so I had [ __ ] up my digestive system so bad that then by the second day of being on set, I like hadn't [ __ ] for 5 days or something. And I felt so bloated and I was like, I just need to [ __ ] And I was also like, I feel really fat. In retrospect, it's like I was not I was the thinnest I've ever been in my entire life. Like, this is so stupid.

[00:20:17]It's gets in your head so bad. Anyway, I was like, I'm just going to make myself [ __ ] before I have to go on set. And so, I got to set early that day and I went to a grocery store and I bought a liter of prune juice. And then I drank the way your face just changed. And then I drank 2/3 of that bottle of prune juice. I drank way more than I needed to. And I still the problem the reason I wasn't [ __ ] is I literally just didn't have anything to pass. Like it's not it's not that I was constipated. My body was like, "Yeah, dude. We'll let you know."

[00:20:47]>> Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

[00:20:47]>> Whenever first process Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

[00:20:51]Absolutely. There's nothing in. And so I just drank prune juice on [ __ ] nothing >> and had the absolute worst farts all day. And we're shooting at the comedy cellar and there is one tiny tiny tiny [ __ ] bathroom in the basement.

[00:21:06]Tiny bathroom in the basement. And I am just having to like sneak downstairs when they're not shooting downstairs and rip the I mean like a like horse.

[00:21:15]>> AND BRADLEY COOPER comes down and warm up like >> I mean so bad. And I came out of the bathroom once and I saw one of the grips like like watching whoever was coming out and then when he saw it was me talent immediately avert his eyes and I was like >> hide my shame dude keep my secret and he started laughing and I was like I'm so sorry that all of the crew has had to listen to the I mean like hideous.

[00:21:41]>> That's so >> like the Dumb and Dumber scene noise that >> Oh my god, dude. That's kind of like equally as bad as like not eating and being lightheaded is like having to hold in farts.

[00:21:55]>> So so bad.

[00:21:56]>> Oh, and like you said, Bradley Cooper is within farts reach >> with those blue eyes.

[00:22:02]>> Yeah. Oh my god.

[00:22:03]>> Behind the camera. He's so stunning and he's tall and he has those eyes.

[00:22:09]>> Dude, I know a lot of actors be farting.

[00:22:11]He seems like 510. Everybody be farting.

[00:22:14]>> He's so [ __ ] tall. He's so [ __ ] gorgeous.

[00:22:16]>> Wait, is this Bradley Cooper?

[00:22:18]And if that if I mean if if if acting on that level with Arnette isn't >> scary enough >> then you put that man behind the camera >> and and you're farting up a storm.

[00:22:32]>> Dude, that's so much pressure. That's so >> so bad. Durn is there. I mean it's like insane. Pton Manning was there and I'm like >> what what are the behind the scenes Chloe ripping ass? Dude, I truly love that story. Thank you for sharing that.

[00:22:47]>> And Bradley was very like, we're gonna everything is live mixed, so we want the audio like we want it to all feel natural. Like in a bar, everybody all the extras talk like the background actors want to have normal conversations and then Yeah. The the the live mixer is like >> like they're Yeah. Yeah. audio guys like I'm I'm getting something. I'm getting something. Is that a helicopter? I think hold for helicopter.

[00:23:11]>> It's not going away. It's not going away.

[00:23:14]Chloe's just like eyes are crossed like >> Yeah, for sure. Let's hold for that helicopter a little longer, guys. I think this one's a train.

[00:23:24]>> God, there's a lot of big vehicles.

[00:23:26]>> Wow. Yeah. Yeah. New York.

[00:23:29]>> Construction.

[00:23:30]>> Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Audrey, >> you know how it is.

[00:23:32]>> Wait, what? You didn't like my train rift? What are you talking about? Wait, you think we should have just ended the riff?

[00:23:37]>> Audrey's on the spectrum. You get it.

[00:23:38]Um, let's get into one of our first segments here. Okay. Uh, this one was fun. This one I just called TJ Maxxing.

[00:23:44]Um, okay.

[00:23:45]>> Speaking of places to steal from, um, okay, check this out.

[00:23:49]>> Whoops. Why does it keep doing this?

[00:23:51]>> Whoa.

[00:23:52]>> Do the puzzle. Okay. Okay. So, >> so she says TJ Maxx thongs are crazy.

[00:23:58]She's tripping on the width.

[00:24:01]>> She's tripping on the width. She's like, I cannot.

[00:24:04]So, >> two fingers. Putting up the two figures.

[00:24:08]So, like literally the entire comment section is all women going just like how like I cannot uh they're like there's simply no room for me to park my Hellcat.

[00:24:18]>> That is so good.

[00:24:21]>> 457,000.

[00:24:23]>> She didn't put no period or nothing.

[00:24:24]Just left that.

[00:24:25]>> Nope. That was it. No punctuation.

[00:24:27]>> Yeah. Like the shoulder shrug in this.

[00:24:29]There's simply no room for >> Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. That's it. It's straightforward.

[00:24:34]>> Yeah. Another person said my hair sticking out the sides. Like, >> god, I love this.

[00:24:40]>> THE PICTURES ARE MY favorite thing.

[00:24:41]That's why I'm on Tik Tok. The picture reply. Anytime we wear a bodysuit. Yes.

[00:24:46]Like cuz you can't wear underwear with a bodysuit, but it's all you know the snaps, the thing that clips and and when I mean you put it on and that thing is too narrow and if you have any pubic hair whatsoever, it's like >> and YOU'RE LIKE, I THOUGHT I DEALT WITH YOU ALREADY.

[00:25:03]IT'S SO DUMB.

[00:25:05]>> It's literally that.

[00:25:06]>> It's so >> No, literally. Yeah. Bunch of other women. So, basically, I'll look like this.

[00:25:12]>> Okay, that's fantastic.

[00:25:14]>> That's so funny. Yeah, economy is so bad right now. We are down to one lip per customer.

[00:25:20]>> Yeah, >> dude. There's so many so many funny women commenting in this [ __ ] thing.

[00:25:23]Um, underwear companies and insurance companies offer the same kind of coverage these days.

[00:25:28]>> Pretty good. But when you'd hear my wings flapping in the wind like I'm [ __ ] pterodactyl.

[00:25:34]>> I mean it's it's just good. It's good.

[00:25:37]It's creative. I love to see it, man.

[00:25:39]>> I thought about my two balls hanging out each side. Sorry. I'm sorry about that.

[00:25:42]>> Oh% same same >> same. And I think the way to get your two balls to hang out would have to be if there was like a little dick pocket on the thong, you know, so that the dick wasn't wrapping under. You put the dick in a little pouch >> and then the balls come out either side, bro.

[00:26:00]>> Cuz I'm like, "What if a dude put that on?" I don't know why I thought that as merch.

[00:26:03]>> I know, right?

[00:26:03]>> That'd be sick.

[00:26:05]>> Hey, this is for the bro only.

[00:26:06]>> Call it the Joey. You know what I mean?

[00:26:08]>> Joey.

[00:26:10]>> That's actually crazy. Except I think your dick is the Joey.

[00:26:13]>> It is. It is. It is, right?

[00:26:15]>> Be like this. Just nudge.

[00:26:16]>> Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

[00:26:17]>> You call it the R.

[00:26:18]>> Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. The R >> and then your dick is the Joey.

[00:26:21]>> Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. That's good. Um, but there was >> How would you feel if a girl was like if you're >> if a girl was like, "Oh, show me that Joey."

[00:26:30]>> Oh god, that'd be tough.

[00:26:34]>> JAMAL WAS LIKE, "YEAH, I MEAN ROCK HARD."

[00:26:36]>> NO, you know, I wouldn't.

[00:26:40]>> Don't you call my dick a white dude's name?

[00:26:42]>> Yeah, that's true. Jamal, >> show me that Jamal.

[00:26:47]>> SHOW ME THAT JAMAL. IT'S CRAZY.

[00:26:50]>> Then he's into it. But there was a trend where like guys who do like uh like it was normally like bluecollar work and it would be like guys uh like like uh come into my comment section and basically like uh talk me up like it was uh so it says ladies hype me up uh hype up my gate like it's a girl's comment section right >> so this is just his like invention. I've I've seen this before. Right. So, it's just like hype me up for my >> Wait, this is actually I'm not even kidding you.

[00:27:22]>> It's It is amazing.

[00:27:23]>> That's amazing.

[00:27:24]>> I think we all think it's amazing.

[00:27:25]>> It's very cool. It's great.

[00:27:26]>> It's very cool.

[00:27:27]>> Oh, is that on Shark Tank?

[00:27:29]>> So then >> Audrey, shut the [ __ ] up. He brings in a whole [ __ ] >> I don't know. I don't know. He brings in a whole gate.

[00:27:39]>> ALL RIGHT. SO, YOU brought in a gate and for that reason I >> Okay. So, you brought in a herd of cattle.

[00:27:45]>> It scraped our floor. Good.

[00:27:48]>> Yeah. So, it was like mostly >> they had to come in on the wide load truck.

[00:27:54]>> So, it's like mostly guys, but he's hyping them up where it's like it's giving access.

[00:27:58]>> OH, I LIKE THAT.

[00:27:59]>> YEAH. YEAH. YEAH. It's giving access.

[00:28:01]They said can't spell gate without a >> That's a really good one.

[00:28:05]>> Very good. It said it's giving Bob the Builder.

[00:28:09]>> Said just a cutie little king gatekeeping his cutie little kingdom.

[00:28:13]>> I love that emoji. The nail painting.

[00:28:15]It's perfect. It's perfect. Yeah. Or someone said it's giving Albert Einstein big brain energy girl slay.

[00:28:23]>> Pretty good. And uh men in STEM.

[00:28:26]>> WOW, THAT'S SO FUNNY. AND HE GETS 252.

[00:28:30]NOTHING. [ __ ] nothing. Lucas, you were robbed. Lucas Blanc, you deserve more honor.

[00:28:34]>> No, I agree. And one of the comments underneath it was like, "This deserves way more."

[00:28:37]>> Wait, time out.

[00:28:39]>> What does this mean, >> dude? We went OVER THIS.

[00:28:42]>> THIS IS THE second time in the last what, three days? We know Chappelle is not in STEM.

[00:28:47]>> I'm not.

[00:28:48]>> Let me in.

[00:28:49]>> Remember last time women in STEM? We did that whole video.

[00:28:53]>> STEM is science, technology, engineering, mathematics, >> right?

[00:28:57]>> It's like >> and and >> keep going, Chloe.

[00:29:01]>> I've heard of these things. And that's mostly traditionally men dominate those fields. And so we're trying to get more women in STEM. And so there's this like women are always commenting like get like it was earnest women in STEM and now >> anytime a lady does anything.

[00:29:17]>> So it has nothing to do with stimulating.

[00:29:19]>> Nothing to do with >> No, that's not in STEM for sure.

[00:29:22]>> STEM.

[00:29:23]>> You said it the same [ __ ] way, bro.

[00:29:25]>> No, he didn't.

[00:29:25]>> STEM and STEM.

[00:29:26]>> Do not put this on me.

[00:29:27]>> Actually, I'm going to say you are saying it the exact same way.

[00:29:32]>> Thank you so so much for being here. I really love having you on the show.

[00:29:37]Well, I give I give up on STEM.

[00:29:40]>> I think I'm done with STEM. No more STEM.

[00:29:42]>> This guy couldn't this guy could not uh he couldn't [ __ ] hold back from just saying, "No joke, this is actually sick."

[00:29:48]>> ALSO, HE LOOKS LIKE HE WOULD SAY, "For real though, someone was like, "This queen didn't understand the assignment."

[00:29:57]>> I love that. So good. I love that >> cuz even a girl a girl who was who was like, I just actually want to earnestly compliment this would be like, "Girl, I can't even Yeah.

[00:30:06]>> I can't even lie. This is actually >> There's some layers to it. Yeah. Yeah.

[00:30:11]Yeah.

[00:30:11]>> No joke. This is actually sick.

[00:30:14]>> He definitely went [ __ ] >> shot at his phone.

[00:30:19]>> Uh, one of our favorite segments on the show. We're back with some Audrey's pick.

[00:30:24]>> Yeah. And look at all the exclamation marks. Chappelle really hates >> because it's it's Audrey, you know, everything is an exclamation.

[00:30:30]>> Does he hate exclamation points?

[00:30:31]>> I think so.

[00:30:32]>> He just hates Audrey's pics. Really? He tends to hate them, but I cuz >> she has she has a very interesting algorithm.

[00:30:39]>> You know what her sometimes it be like a shrimp break dancing or something.

[00:30:42]>> That's I'm in.

[00:30:43]>> Yeah. Great. All of us love it.

[00:30:47]>> LIKE LOOK AT THAT. I'M LIKE >> AND WE'RE ALL LAUGHING except him.

[00:30:50]>> If you were in STEM, you would love it.

[00:30:51]>> Oh, the [ __ ] out of here.

[00:30:52]>> Are you in STEM?

[00:30:54]>> Yeah.

[00:30:54]>> No, actually. Yes, I am. Are you STEM?

[00:30:57]>> I was a math major. Oh, hell yeah.

[00:30:59]>> Yeah.

[00:30:59]>> Okay.

[00:31:00]>> All right. Any jokes?

[00:31:02]>> You to say anything?

[00:31:04]>> I THINK IT'S GREAT. ANY thoughts about a GIRL MATH MAJOR?

[00:31:07]>> WAIT, that's actually Where'd you go?

[00:31:09]>> Gustavis Adulus College.

[00:31:11]>> Wow, that's that sounds fancy as all get out.

[00:31:14]>> A pretty bad school.

[00:31:15]>> Well, then then you have to put a question on it. Women in STEM.

[00:31:19]>> Sorry. Did you say good Davis?

[00:31:22]>> Davis.

[00:31:23]>> Good Davis.

[00:31:24]>> That's my cousin name.

[00:31:24]>> Oh, come on.

[00:31:29]>> He was gearing up to say it, dude.

[00:31:30]>> Gearing up. Um, actually this first one is pretty I don't know. This is >> I hope it's the one. Yeah.

[00:31:36]>> Okay.

[00:31:37]>> Why does it keep doing this?

[00:31:38]>> Okay. First of all, the sound on this is insane.

[00:31:42]>> Did I send it to you? I think I was wasted.

[00:31:46]>> Okay. Without the sound, just what's happening here is insane.

[00:31:50]>> Remember, >> it's it's all the the super tight jeans with the >> Oh, so Alex Flynn would be here, bro.

[00:31:57]>> I'm like, we know these two guys. OH MY GOD, YOU KNOW these guys >> 100%. There was actually some >> these guys all work in consulting or finance and they're LIKE WE HAD A CRAZY Saturday night. This is what their Saturday night >> 100%. Last night was a movie.

[00:32:15]>> That's the guy who >> literally fart sounds. Yeah. Cut.

[00:32:18]>> That's the guy who commented this fence is actually lowkey sick.

[00:32:22]>> Literally same same demo.

[00:32:24]>> Look at all three white hats.

[00:32:25]>> Dude, this is a great comment. Someone said the Josh Pit. That's great.

[00:32:30]>> That is so good, >> dude. Someone said Hayden, Jaden, Braden, and Odayen.

[00:32:36]>> In flipflops, mind you. Uh, yeah, that's that's great. I mean, that's got Florida right there. Audrey, >> that's got to be Florida.

[00:32:44]>> My drink would be covered. YEAH, >> CORRECT.

[00:32:48]>> That is so good and accurate.

[00:32:51]>> Let's see what else Audrey put in here.

[00:32:53]>> Beats when I woke up at 3:00 a.m. to my hamster getting out of his cage and find TV.

[00:32:59]Why is it standing on terrifying? It does that. It >> It does that. By the way, >> what do you mean?

[00:33:05]>> We had a hamster. I had a hamster named Danny and it lived in my cage and my dad said when we weren't at his house that he woke up one time until like rumaging in his shoe and then he opened his closet. My hamster was just standing up in his shoe after he closed the cage.

[00:33:19]>> So, this is typical hamster activity.

[00:33:21]>> Yeah. Hamsters like will do this and then they get back in their cage.

[00:33:24]>> So, the first comment just said, "He've been doing this. YOU JUST CAUGHT HIM.

[00:33:29]LOOK AT THIS ONE. CAN YOU SEE IT?

[00:33:32]>> Just Bart in the yard naked.

[00:33:37]>> Keep going. Is it really good?

[00:33:38]>> Really funny there. Okay. Uh standing there like I fro up.

[00:33:42]>> I froze up.

[00:33:44]>> What does that mean?

[00:33:45]>> I froze up.

[00:33:46]>> I froze up.

[00:33:47]>> I froze up. Oh, that's good. Uh >> why isn't my bed this big?

[00:33:54]>> Alexis, I had a nightmare.

[00:33:57]Yeah. So did I.

[00:34:00]>> I'm living one right now.

[00:34:01]>> So wait, this is a common uh thing activity they do.

[00:34:05]>> Yeah, hamsters be doing this [ __ ] >> Okay.

[00:34:08]>> All right.

[00:34:10]>> Okay, Audrey. I'd say those were pretty good. Those were not bad.

[00:34:13]>> Yeah, as far as I can tell. Yeah, >> Audrey has great taste.

[00:34:16]>> Thanks, CHLOE.

[00:34:16]>> OH, YOU YOU HAVEN'T seen the multiple.

[00:34:18]As far as I can tell, anyone who criticizes Audrey is a misogynist >> and doesn't believe in women in STEM.

[00:34:27]>> I was I WAS A CHEERLEADER.

[00:34:29]>> IN FACT, DOESN'T EVEN KNOW WHAT YEAH, that's not women in STEM. That is not That is women in not STEM.

[00:34:38]>> I cheered with some very smart women.

[00:34:40]>> Quite literally, maybe the opposite. Um, but that's great, too. Uh, oh, this was fun. We have some breaking news here.

[00:34:45]Did you guys hear about the HA virus?

[00:34:48]We >> This is at the Don't Tell.

[00:34:50]>> By the way, I want to say we we went to Netflix's Joke Festival just happened.

[00:34:53]Yeah. And uh last week we were all a bunch of us were at this big uh party.

[00:34:58]Lots of comedians. Every single time I walked into a conversation that Audrey was part of. I'm not even kidding. She I don't you weren't even doing a bit. It became a bit later, but I I'd walk in and she'd be like, "Yeah, this virus thing, right?" And everyone's like, "We're trying to have a good time." And we're all in very close contact and we don't want to think about THAT RIGHT NOW.

[00:35:17]>> SHE WOULDN'T STOP BRINGING IT UP. She's like, "Isn't the Hantha thing crazy?"

[00:35:20]>> If I'm drinking, I'm coming in a group and I'm ruining the vibe.

[00:35:24]>> I'm like, I'm like throwing a piece of knowledge out there. That's not good.

[00:35:27]>> Yeah. It's It's a buzz kill.

[00:35:29]>> What were you me up?

[00:35:31]>> Had you noticed that it really killed the mood and then continued to do it?

[00:35:35]Like, were you aware of it?

[00:35:38]Were you completely unaware? I was kind of unaware because people kept adding new information about the virus to me and I was like taking that information and then spreading it to the next room.

[00:35:47]So I was like building being a bit of an INFECTION OF HER OWN A BIT OF AN EPIDEMIC of Audrey talking about >> infecting the party dude.

[00:35:58]>> It's infecting.

[00:35:59]>> She's patient zero.

[00:36:01]>> You are.

[00:36:02]>> Yeah. So this says the antivirus can shrink your penis size up to 3 in.

[00:36:06]Audrey, have you heard that one?

[00:36:08]>> No. This is a new one. I'll put in the book.

[00:36:11]>> Get it.

[00:36:12]>> Yeah. So, people were saying [ __ ] like, uh, what if 3 in is all you got? Asking for a friend, >> dude. Uh, is there a virus THAT WILL INCREASE IT?

[00:36:22]>> UH, just just also asking for a friend.

[00:36:24]Um, suddenly all the dudes like, I got the antivirus, girl.

[00:36:29]>> That's funny.

[00:36:29]>> That's a good one.

[00:36:30]>> It's actually really sad.

[00:36:31]>> Uh, it's actually sad. Uh, I must have gotten it twice already.

[00:36:36]>> Twice.

[00:36:37]That was really funny. My ex-husband better stay inside. That's fun. That's very fun.

[00:36:43]>> Wait, do you believe in this virus, though? You're like, not not believe in it, but like >> No. Do you believe in a shrinking penis?

[00:36:48]>> No. Do you think that we're going to be fine? I think we're going to be fine.

[00:36:51]>> Yes. Okay. Yeah. Yeah. I think we're I was worried for a second. There's I'm in a This is a sick thing to say. Say it.

[00:37:00]Was there a tiny part of you that when it started to blow up that you're like there's a tiny tiny part of me that like wants another pandemic?

[00:37:09]>> I knew you were going there. I knew that >> and I feel it.

[00:37:11]>> And I feel it too. It's not sick >> because you like kind of want It is sick. I think just we're all so [ __ ] I think the world is so bad at this point that it like never feels like we went back to fully normal. And so now it's like honestly at this point if I had another break that I knew going in I was able to use this break. I don't feel like I used that break as well as I should have. And this is not to disrespect the millions of people who died from co and the millions of people who will die from hunter virus when it becomes an epidemic. But the >> oopsie >> but it is like you kind of and it is like it was the most unifying experience for all of us. Now it has splintered everybody so [ __ ] bad in the aftermath. But in the moment you're I sort of was like, >> "Okay, >> let's take a couple weeks off."

[00:37:55]>> If we can do that for a pre a precaution before it's even spread, I think that would be so good cuz, you know, no one's getting even sicker because we're all staying inside.

[00:38:04]>> It's I think really what I'm trying to say is we could all use some time off.

[00:38:09]>> Yes.

[00:38:10]>> It's like all we want is some PTO.

[00:38:12]>> Everybody Everybody just needs Yeah. to not work on Memorial Day.

[00:38:18]>> Yes. I agree. What's this? Look.

[00:38:21]>> I mean, this had white people [ __ ] >> Fair.

[00:38:24]>> That's a different conversation.

[00:38:25]>> Okay. Chappelle literally has been selling out all of his shows. That's why he's saying >> No, no, no. Yes, it is. Say that. That's why I'm saying that. That's why I'm saying that.

[00:38:33]>> Yes, it is.

[00:38:33]>> I >> He's like, "We're all doing great right now. WHY WOULD WE WANT A PANDMIC?

[00:38:38]>> I WANT TO STOP. WE'RE ALL SELLING OUT SHOWS. I keep having our meet and greet lines are huge.

[00:38:45]>> We have good nights every night. We have good days every day. And why would I want to disrupt that?

[00:38:51]>> That is not what >> you know what Okay, I'm not You guys, you p you pinned against me on STEM. Now you pinned against me on the har virus or what? Whatever the [ __ ] is called. You pin against me. Haram. Go to the go to animal cookout.

[00:39:04]>> Yeah, whatever with the harambe virus.

[00:39:06]>> Yeah. Harambe. Is it harambe?

[00:39:08]>> No.

[00:39:08]>> No, that's the gorilla that I've heard.

[00:39:11]Um anyway, >> now I >> in your city.

[00:39:14]>> No. What is going on?

[00:39:17]>> I'm from Minneapolis.

[00:39:18]>> Never mind. It was I think it was Cincinnati.

[00:39:21]>> Yeah, I think it was Cincinnati.

[00:39:21]>> Yeah, Cincinnati.

[00:39:22]>> I do like Cincinnati.

[00:39:22]>> So, I didn't mean to put that on. You like >> Cincinnati is great. I'm >> Yeah, that was WILD >> IN YOUR CITY.

[00:39:30]>> He was trying to get you so bad. He was TRYING TO GET YOU. YOU [ __ ] WHITE LADY SAID THAT YOU WANTED ANOTHER PANDEMIC. YOU ALSO KILLED HARAMBE, >> YOU [ __ ] >> I DIDN'T KILL HARAMBE. AND I DON'T WANT ANOTHER PANDEMIC. I'M JUST SAYING THAT WE COULD ALL USE A BREAK.

[00:39:46]>> You started the hand the virus. You did it. No justice for >> Harambe.

[00:39:52]Harambe is like, "How the [ __ ] did I get the combo?"

[00:39:55]>> He's like, >> "Speaking of Harambe and animals, we got an animal cookout here sent in by uh Ethan Morales." Thanks, Ethan, one of our guys.

[00:40:02]>> Uh oh, this is silly.

[00:40:03]>> A swirling vortex of bubbles.

[00:40:05]>> I feel like this is something beyond Audrey's. trapping some of the fish, >> especially puffer fish, >> causing them to spin helplessly.

[00:40:14]>> So, all the fish there's like they create this vortex.

[00:40:17]>> As the puffers only have small fins, they have little or no strength to fight it and are simply sucked in.

[00:40:22]>> Wait.

[00:40:24]Yeah, wait.

[00:40:26]>> This unusual phenomenon could be a sign of seasonal changes to the two big ocean currents which provide the driving force behind Sakoro's extraordinary.

[00:40:35]>> So, they get caught currents, too. Wait, do they do that? Wait, who makes the current?

[00:40:40]>> Uh, it's like all the fish the way they swim in a circle, it creates like a little vortex.

[00:40:45]>> To to source out the weak.

[00:40:47]>> No, no, no. It's not it's not on purpose. It just it's a product.

[00:40:50]>> Just get just get trapped.

[00:40:52]>> Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. That's exactly right. Okay. I have never in my life seen more empathy in a comment section for these [ __ ] puffer fish.

[00:41:02]>> Well, YOU FEEL SO MANY. SO many people WERE COMMENTING LIKE, "NO, like it's like somebody like help. Do you think they die?"

[00:41:12]>> What? No, no, no. They've I think they eventually get out. They just get stuck in it for a while and who knows how long. But this first comment [ __ ] killed this information.

[00:41:20]>> A joke's on us. They do that cuz they get high off it.

[00:41:23]>> No, I don't. What?

[00:41:25]>> You can scrub that.

[00:41:28]>> This is Now I'm understanding what you guys are saying. I actually I was on her side for so long and then that one >> This is it. This is it. You've now come to the other side. Welcome.

[00:41:39]>> What do you What >> Where did that come from?

[00:41:43]>> Like they go the curtains.

[00:41:44]>> SO THE FISH GET HOT. NO.

[00:41:46]>> NO. They don't enjoy this. They're spinning and they can't control it.

[00:41:51]>> Yeah, you're right.

[00:41:51]>> It's But this first comment killed me.

[00:41:53]Someone was like, "I'd be so embarrassed."

[00:41:56]>> Oh my god. Come on.

[00:41:58]>> No, literally. Uh, another person said, "Imagine being late for work because of this shit."

[00:42:04]>> I mean, uh, yeah. Hey, I'm going to be late. Currently getting my [ __ ] rocked in a hydro vortex.

[00:42:10]>> Vortex.

[00:42:11]>> Oh, so >> it is crazy how they're just spinning.

[00:42:13]They can't [ __ ] stop me.

[00:42:14]>> And then this one, this one, like, okay, now I have to go to bed worrying about these [ __ ] puffer fish.

[00:42:18]>> Yeah, I feel bad.

[00:42:19]>> Yeah, you definitely feel bad.

[00:42:20]>> I was filming that. Whoever was filming it, I should have smacked them out of it. But I think it's like part of if you're like a marine biologist, I think one of the things they do is like they can't interfere with the natural flow of an ecosystem.

[00:42:32]>> No, that's like like uh when you see like a a lion catches a warthog and there's people like you can't stop it cuz it's like that's the >> It's sad. It is sad.

[00:42:40]>> It's sad. The warthog's about to die, but that's their fruit. Spread that information.

[00:42:44]>> Here's one that's a little more fun.

[00:42:45]>> Hoppers pond rules.

[00:42:46]>> Check out this. Okay. And >> the warthog is getting HIGH THEN, RIGHT?

[00:42:51]SO when the lion eats him, it rips his leg off.

[00:42:54]>> It feels good for him.

[00:42:54]>> It feels good for him. It's like uh sort of like like a DMT.

[00:42:58]>> Get them intestines out, bro.

[00:43:01]>> Damn, dude. Hey. Hey, get the other leg.

[00:43:06]>> Has 19 hyenas just riveting it apart.

[00:43:08]>> Bro, I got I got one more animal thing for you guys. This one was crazy. And I I really did some research to check if this was AI or not.

[00:43:16]>> And I really don't think it is. Okay, so this little mouse, watch this mouse come up and just absolutely >> boom, >> he just pushed the frog back into the water.

[00:43:27]>> He said, "Get the [ __ ] off my gator, bro."

[00:43:30]>> He said, "This this is my girl."

[00:43:32]>> This is my girl.

[00:43:33]>> Literally, it's the craziest thing I've ever seen.

[00:43:35]>> Oh my god.

[00:43:36]>> It's crazy that the gator's just like >> just chilling completely with it.

[00:43:39]>> Yep. And then he just bounces right off and goes about his day.

[00:43:42]>> I guess it's too like, >> bro, I was like, "What the fuck?" I watched it so many times. Crazy.

[00:43:47]>> Yeah.

[00:43:48]>> Do you think that's why the gator lets the rat >> Yes.

[00:43:51]>> crawl in it? Cuz the gator's like, I know that the rat's going to get the frog, >> bro.

[00:43:55]>> What?

[00:43:56]>> The gator can't necessarily get the [ __ ] >> And did the frog just He didn't even That's just it.

[00:44:01]>> That's it, dude. He just swam away.

[00:44:02]Pathetic. He He lost.

[00:44:06]>> Yeah, cuz people were like, "Why is nobody talking about the mouse tackling the [ __ ] frog, dude?" Uh because so many of the other comments didn't see it at first because they were so focused >> and they were just like the rat is on the top.

[00:44:16]>> Yes. They're like that. And I completely missed it because someone sent this in to us and I was like, "What's the thing?" Like, yeah, like of course it's crazy that the mouse is on top of the gator, but I was like, "But what's the" And then I had to read the comments to be like, "Oh, [ __ ] I missed it every time I watched it."

[00:44:30]>> Yeah. It's crazy.

[00:44:31]>> Crazy.

[00:44:32]>> Also, did that mouse swim?

[00:44:33]>> Yeah. Yeah. Might swim.

[00:44:35]>> Rat. It's a rat.

[00:44:36]>> It's a rat.

[00:44:36]>> They can swim.

[00:44:37]>> Where was it?

[00:44:37]>> Oh, yeah. Rats can swim. Uh, it looks like it was at a zoo >> cuz I live in New York.

[00:44:41]>> Yeah, >> fair enough.

[00:44:42]>> Fair enough. Fair enough. Fair enough.

[00:44:44]Rats.

[00:44:44]>> Wait, when did they learn that?

[00:44:46]>> Swimming lessons.

[00:44:50]>> They all put their kids in swimming lessons when they're little.

[00:44:52]>> WOMEN.

[00:44:59]>> That was great. Just so dead. Yeah.

[00:45:02]Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. They offer him at the zoo that he lives at. You could say it's at the zoo. Yeah. Yeah. Them [ __ ] don't >> And then the parents get a little time to themselves.

[00:45:11]>> The parents get some free.

[00:45:12]>> I I quit, bro.

[00:45:14]>> That's so good.

[00:45:16]>> Chloe made me quit this show.

[00:45:19]>> I love it. This person said that mouse casually walks across one of the most ancient predators just to deck that frog. Legendary hater status. Dude, this was like a per, you know, when there's just a perfect gift, you go, how does this exist? Wait, that this must be a thing that a known fact.

[00:45:36]>> No, this is just Tom and Jerry, >> right? What?

[00:45:39]>> NO.

[00:45:41]>> I'm on your side. I am on your side.

[00:45:48]>> We can't write it.

[00:45:49]>> I understand now.

[00:45:50]>> We can't >> MAKE THIS [ __ ] UP.

[00:45:54]>> I'M JUST SAYING.

[00:45:55]>> I'M JUST SAYING.

[00:45:56]>> SHE'S LIKE, "AND is this from Animal Planet?"

[00:46:00]Amber narrator >> the rat say >> baby this happen really winds up >> and that was crazy >> the frog punts it >> Audrey that is absolutely crazy oh this is a fun gift too is a fun one yeah that that mouse is a manager no freebies baby no freebies um all right this was fun too this one's called comment chain reaction >> um so basically like someone starts a form format and then kind of just everybody kind of dog piles on and starts doing the same thing. So this is the this is the main video here. So this guy finds an ID. Looks like >> Walter Sanford. Bro, I found your ID on the Walk of Fame. Hit me up.

[00:46:41]>> Bro, I just found this guy's ID.

[00:46:44]>> Walter Sanford. Bro, I found your ID on the Walk of Fame. Hit me up.

[00:46:47]>> That's it. He finds this guy. Walter Sanford. He finds it. So, I'm always curious when these things pop up if this is just one psychopath or it's like hundreds of people because there are quite literally hundreds and hundreds of comments and what people do is they make an individual account. They just make an account just to do the bit. We've seen this before.

[00:47:09]>> So, so just to give you an example, someone said Walter Sanford neighbor.

[00:47:13]Hey, that's my neighbor. I'll bring it to him. Okay. So they make the whole account just just to make the [ __ ] name and the picture and watch. Okay, so they use the picture from the ID and they slightly change it based off of the name of the person, right? And they say Walter's baby. That's my data wallet.

[00:47:32]>> Right. And then a Walter Sanford French cousin. Wee wee. I'm Walter's cousin.

[00:47:36]Yo, not the not the game console spelling. Wee wee. Insane.

[00:47:44]Insane. Um, another person said, "Walter's side chick. Forget about his wife. I'm with him. Can you send me the wallet, please?" There's so many. Evil Walter Sanford. Keep the idea. I don't need it. It's crazy. 118,000 likes. This has 118,000 likes. There's There's There's hundreds.

[00:48:01]>> You know what I like?

[00:48:02]>> This is great.

[00:48:02]>> The Walter Side Chick was clearly like they put that picture through AI. This is clearly a person who opened the photos app and drew tiny little devil horns and a little tail and scribbled his eyes in the app.

[00:48:16]>> Adding the tail was hilarious.

[00:48:18]>> It's so funny.

[00:48:18]>> The low effort is really funny.

[00:48:20]>> Really? Evil Walter Stanford win this.

[00:48:22]>> That's very funny. And yeah, for that reason it got 118,000 likes. Um Walter Ser blind buddy.

[00:48:28]>> Wait, stop.

[00:48:30]>> They also did they also did Walter's mute friend.

[00:48:32]>> So good. This is crazy. And then and Walter's Chinese guide there. So what happens is then there's al there be there becomes these like side quests because there's also like other things.

[00:48:43]There's other like references to something like Chinese like he goes on it like it's crazy. And uh and then so obviously I translated it and said we're in China now. He'll contact you for the idea when he gets home. Um and then another person said oh this is so he said Walford Santa. He just kind of mixed it up and then flipped it. Says thanks a lot bro upside down. Um Walter's drug dealer. Yo, that's my favorite client. The bandana >> covering his face.

[00:49:07]>> There's Walter's fish. Blah blah blah.

[00:49:09]It's just like it's out of control.

[00:49:12]>> It's out of control.

[00:49:13]>> This is a fish.

[00:49:14]>> You can see the fish body.

[00:49:16]>> This is the best one we've ever had, by the way.

[00:49:19]>> Yeah, this guy would for sure get sucked into the vortex.

[00:49:23]>> Bubbles. Look at that.

[00:49:25]>> There it is. I think this is the last one. Walter from 2045. Yo, this is Walter from the future. After years of advanced technology, time scans, and illegal quantum searches, I finally discovered my ID was found in 2026 real.

[00:49:35]I've been looking for that thing for 30 years. Bro, please send it back.

[00:49:39]>> Look how many likes I had.

[00:49:40]>> 300. This is what I'm saying. You see how many likes all of these comments got? Like, there's hundreds of them. And all of them have hundreds of thousands of likes. It's insane.

[00:49:47]>> And these people are You're saying like, you're going to so much effort for making these profiles, but those people are riding this high for weeks, right?

[00:49:55]>> Weeks. The notifications loving it. I mean 395,000 >> cuz you think about it, it is a small price to pay going to Google making a fake email and then just like you know like you said open the photo thing and do some devil horns and it's like yeah maybe 5 minutes 10 minutes of work.

[00:50:12]>> Do you think somebody who actually knows him is trying to comment hey this is actually >> you know what that's a very good point.

[00:50:18]He's his his comment is way down there.

[00:50:22]>> He's like >> because because the friend does not have Walter in his name. It's just my friend is like Tom and >> he's a barbecue guy 25. Yeah.

[00:50:33]>> So good.

[00:50:33]>> It's so good. Uh here's our closing clip sent in by uh by Dan King. We >> used two from Dan King.

[00:50:39]>> Um honestly I think we've used a couple from Dan King. Shout out Dan King. Man, this guy sends us clips uh on the rag.

[00:50:45]Um so we appreciate you, brother.

[00:50:48]>> Um okay, this is a fun one to end here.

[00:50:50]Okay, so >> that was fun. Oh, at the skate park, bro. OH >> YEAH, BUT BRO, HE'S he's got his whole [ __ ] >> bro that's amazing.

[00:51:01]>> He's got a slippery booty, >> bro. Full full cheek at the >> I mean, pause on the ass man now, but like bro, this is tight.

[00:51:10]>> I know it is water cheeking.

[00:51:13]>> Hey, >> I guess he has to slide on his ass cuz he >> comes. Well, the G in the comics.

[00:51:19]>> You can't slide on no one heard it.

[00:51:23]And he doesn't want his dick out.

[00:51:24]>> Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. So, you got to get you got to get that >> you got to be you got to have cheeks out.

[00:51:28]>> You got to get the cheeks out. Yeah.

[00:51:29]Someone said, "Bro, rock dog the park, bro."

[00:51:31]>> Yeah.

[00:51:32]>> Yeah. Diddy was moving around the crib.

[00:51:37]>> The visual is so funny. The visual.

[00:51:40]Imagine Diddy room to room. You see him go by.

[00:51:42]>> It is just That looks like baby oil.

[00:51:44]That is moving like baby oil. It is.

[00:51:46]>> Diddy moving around the crib is so funny.

[00:51:48]>> That's a great one.

[00:51:49]>> So funny. Hey bro, meet me at pink eye park.

[00:51:54]>> It's so good. 50/50 cheek slide is wild.

[00:51:58]Uh said their name is just ass. They say I'm a I'm a sport now, >> bro. That's a crazy handle. How did you get that?

[00:52:07]>> Would never allow that.

[00:52:08]>> Yeah. And speaking of another pandemic, uh well, get ready for another pandemic, everyone.

[00:52:15]>> Hey, ladies and gentlemen, that is the end of our show. A round of applause for Chloe Radcliffe.

[00:52:20]>> Thank you so much for coming in. What an absolute pleasure.

[00:52:23]>> Thank you so much for having me.

[00:52:24]>> Please. Um, can you just >> I don't want another pandemic. I DON'T WANT I DON'T WANT I DON'T WANT PEOPLE TO DIE. I DON'T WANT PEOPLE to die. We're all just tired and that's what I'm responding to. And I'm I think I'm capturing a mood that people are not willing to say, but I but we don't we do not want death. Okay. I'm not >> They don't I am white. I'm sorry. I'm white. I do have dirty white Nike Air Force Ones that I got for free on Craigslist. How did you know?

[00:52:48]>> Yes, we accept your apology, man. That was great. Yeah. Yeah. Well, hey, look into the same camera and tell everyone where they can uh see you uh on tour or socials or all the stuff you want.

[00:52:57]>> Yeah, I'm at Khloe Badcliffe on all socials, like my last name, Radcliffe but bad. Uh I'm on tour. I'm going to be in Seattle and Portland and Atlanta and New York. I have a solo show that's totally separate from my the hour that I do on the road called Cheat. I'm doing that in New York August 19th and 20th at Joe's Pub. Uh, follow me. Get on my mailing list. I'll see you out there.

[00:53:16]Amazing.

[00:53:17]>> We're going to go on a hike in Portland.

[00:53:19]Yeah. Yeah. We're going to go on a hike in Portland. So, >> are you sure? Even after.

[00:53:22]>> I know, right?

[00:53:24]>> Yeah. Yeah.

[00:53:24]>> Go on a hike. I'll see you there. We're going to go You can be a fake green.

[00:53:30]>> Audrey, tell the people where they can follow you.

[00:53:31]>> Yeah, you just you can go to my Instagram. Audrey Stewart.

[00:53:34]>> Follow her.

[00:53:35]>> Please.

[00:53:35]>> What? What words did you say?

[00:53:38]>> Did you say you can come on my Instagram?

[00:53:43]You could ask SLIDE ON.

[00:53:45]>> YEAH. SLIDE ON OVER.

[00:53:48]>> OKAY.

[00:53:49]>> To like YOU >> and slide on over to chelacy.com for those tickets. Keep following us at all things cook in the comments. Keep sending us your videos just like Dan King and maybe we'll feature one of yours on a future episode. Until then, we'll see you next time. Thanks chefs.

[00:54:06]Goodbye.

[00:54:11]That's why