You Can't Make This Sh*t Up! Well F*ck... Is Amway Still a Thing?

Added: 2026-05-09

[00:00:00]Hey, I'm Brian Vance, sportbiketrackgear.com, here with another episode of You Can't Make This [ __ ] Up. We're going to title this one, well, [ __ ] >> [music] [music] >> Okay, we're hot off the heels of our latest episode that we let out like, I don't know, maybe it was a week or so ago. My goal with all these videos is to help people. These are essentially, when you really get down to it, like little self-help guide to help you live a better, more fulfilling, and less [ __ ] life.

[00:00:48]I am beginning to a question the effectiveness of my efforts. I take responsibility for that, I promise you I will do better.

[00:00:58]If you remember last episode, we shared with you some alien technology that we discovered here at sportbiketrackgear.com.

[00:01:05]Ziploc bags, unbelievable technology. I showed you all how to use it, and I hope that was game-changing for you.

[00:01:13]There's other types of bags, too, that just have a simple opening in them without any of the alien technology on it. We developed that here on Earth, I believe, thousands of years ago, probably, right? And we showed you how to use that. This person may have missed the memo.

[00:01:29]I mean, I can understand. You know, maybe you you get your brand new RST suit, and you're excited. You're excited like a [ __ ] grizzly bear that just stumbled onto a pile of bait donuts that has no idea he's about to get shot, and you just like, ah, YOU CLAW IT.

[00:01:46]>> [screaming] >> YOU'RE RIPPING OPEN AND YOU GET YOUR NEW SUIT OUT.

[00:01:50]YES.

[00:01:53]PLEASE, PEOPLE, pay attention.

[00:01:55]Next up, I want to I want to let you know we have a lot of great customers here and sometimes, you know what? You get a return back. Maybe you [ __ ] up a little bit. You make a bad decision, whatever.

[00:02:05]We got a couple of guys here, a guy with a sprocket shop installed that they told them they didn't. It's full of witness marks, sent it back anyways. Guy was super cool.

[00:02:15]Appreciative, apologized apologized, great to work with. Thank you very much for your business. Other dude got a uh switch, right? No packaging, there's nothing we can do with this.

[00:02:28]He understood completely, apologized for any inconvenience caused. We appreciate people like that cuz, you know what? If I had a nickel for everything I ever [ __ ] up in my life, right?

[00:02:37]I wouldn't need to be here right now.

[00:02:39]I'd be golfing somewhere.

[00:02:45]>> [screaming] >> Oops.

[00:02:48]Probably poorly, but that's what I would be doing.

[00:02:52]Next up.

[00:02:54]This You know, where are we right now? Is this like an archaeological dig? I can remember, and I'm really old, okay? When I was a kid everybody, and I think everybody around my age, 56, full disclosure, had that weird [ __ ] neighbor, or maybe it was a weird relative that when you went to their house, like let's say it was a friend of yours and you're hanging out with them and you're over at their house, every [ __ ] thing in their house was from this weird company called Amway. Our in-flight meal, Mr. Hope, an Amway food bar. Does Amway make this?

[00:03:29]Amway offers over 350 home care, housewares, nutrition, and personal care products. How come you know about Amway?

[00:03:36]I'm not going to lie to you.

[00:03:38]I thought that was all done. I thought all their little soaps and chips and [ __ ] sodas and hand creams and whatever else they made, okay? I thought the pyramid scheme was over until this box showed up.

[00:03:53]You ask, well, what's in the box, Van?

[00:03:56]>> Uh, WHAT'S IN THE BOX?

[00:03:58]>> I'M NOT taking you seriously.

[00:03:58]>> WHAT'S IN THE [ __ ] BOX?

[00:04:00]>> THE GUN. THIS CUSTOMER purchased an AGV K1 helmet and wanted to return it.

[00:04:07]Their description for the return was simply two words, no riding.

[00:04:12]Well, okay.

[00:04:15]Inside of our Amway box, I think I might keep this box forever, actually.

[00:04:21]Cuz this has to be a collectible. Amway distributor, I've got the whole story.

[00:04:27]No way that's current. That probably was in the garage for 30 years.

[00:04:33]Start off here.

[00:04:35]What's all the [ __ ] dirt on the on the outside of the helmet bag, which also, strangely enough, is inside out. That's weird.

[00:04:47]Right? Like, oh, don't want to don't want to scratch it more.

[00:04:51]Look at that. There's the logo. That's the Fair enough. Who cares?

[00:04:57]So, no riding, you say?

[00:05:01]Well, let's take just a quick look. I probably could see this without my glasses on, but [ __ ] it. I got them here.

[00:05:09]Nice little scufferoni there. Bunch of bugs and [ __ ] on the face shield.

[00:05:14]>> [snorts] >> Uh, couple of good scratches.

[00:05:19]I mean, what did you [ __ ] drop it?

[00:05:22]Whatever. Look at the Look at the diffuser back here. That thing's all [ __ ] up.

[00:05:27]Uh, we reached back out to this guy, and of course, zero response.

[00:05:34]This one's interesting.

[00:05:36]This one.

[00:05:40]Nice person bought a a pair of these uh Stella riding shoes, okay?

[00:05:46]And returned them. Reason for return.

[00:05:50]Heel of height of not expected and not comfortable at all. Fair enough. You know what? Fair enough. Maybe they didn't fit good. They didn't feel super comfortable.

[00:06:04]I I don't know about you, but man, these somebody either ran a a 5K in these or maybe did some running. Without question, that is beyond simply just wiping off, which is what we would do here if it There's, you know, you you could tell somebody walked around maybe a little bit in the garage and they got a little bit dirty. We're just going to clean them up and we're going to we're going to call it a day because that is in fact the path of least resistance.

[00:06:33]Needless to say, these two items, well, they're going to be heading back to the customer.

[00:06:41]Something else we need to talk about right now. I'm fresh back from a road trip with Max Van. We went down to Roebling Road Raceway, great racetrack there in Savannah, Georgia with our good friends at Precision Track Days. Did a couple of days. One One day went all day. Kid rode all day. Had a nice dry day on Sunday.

[00:07:02]I spent a lot of time driving. It's 14 hours from Michigan and I have to tell you the thing that drives me [ __ ] crazy when you're trying to get and travel a distance, right? You're trying to make a little time, trying to pick some time up on the way home, get home, have a little dinner, cuddle with the wife, play with the dog, whatever.

[00:07:23][ __ ] people in the fast lane going under the speed limit, oblivious to your presence behind them, right?

[00:07:33]You just sit there behind them when you got this big ass trailer and [ __ ] it's kind of hard to get around people. You need them if they're going too [ __ ] slow to just get out of the way. Then finally you get a gap and you go by him and you look over to the left and lo and behold what are they doing?

[00:07:50]100% watching porn on their phone while they're driving down the freeway under the [ __ ] speed limit.

[00:07:59]They should have their car taken away. Their license suspended for all eternity or like send them to [ __ ] Somalia or something. We don't need people like that here. They're ruining our freeways. That's all I have for you today.

[00:08:16]You can't make this [ __ ] up. Well, [ __ ]