Difficult Birth Journeys & Heartwarming Water Birth | S8 EP11 | One Born Every Minute

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[00:00:04]I generally always match cuz and I've said that to me kids, you just never know if you're ever going to get knocked down by a bus. Matching underwear.

[00:00:12]>> I like them to be like um you know proper knickers, proper shapes, not French knickers, not shorts, just a normal nick that covers your cheeks. My favorites >> and it comes up and it >> and the stretchy shiny one.

[00:00:23]>> So hard to find.

[00:00:25]There's 340 midwives at Liverpool women's. 339 of those are female.

[00:00:32]>> You know the big big women's knickers.

[00:00:35]He got me them. They were size 10 to 12 and they went up to there.

[00:00:38]>> It's amazing what some men find attractive.

[00:00:41]>> He said he said you said you like a proper knicker. I said that's that's my grandma's knickers.

[00:00:45]>> It's a female dominated environment.

[00:00:48]Being a male midwife, you can feel like an outsider. You're definitely the odd one of the bunch. So I put them on one night and then he comes walking in and they were literally there under me bri went why you wearing them knickers I said these are knickers you got me for me holidays putting them on >> lovely for winter cover me bum lovely >> it's a group of girlfriends to then have a man come into the circle can take a time to accept that person >> oh you're going to have to watch him >> I know I've been watching him and he's made such a mess for me You didn't see my room.

[00:01:24]>> Yeah.

[00:01:25]>> Because you stand out, you've got to work that little bit harder to earn the trust of your colleagues.

[00:01:32]>> You got your lippy on, Chris?

[00:01:33]>> Yeah. But also the women and the families that you look after.

[00:01:40]>> Okay. All right.

[00:01:43]>> Oh dear.

[00:01:46]>> You okay?

[00:01:48]>> People expect a midwife to be female.

[00:01:50]Say Mandy.

[00:01:51]>> Yeah.

[00:01:52]>> Yeah.

[00:01:52]>> Last thing they expect is a 6' 16 stone ginger monster walking through the door.

[00:01:58]>> Chris. Yeah. This is Chris. He's going to be looking after you.

[00:02:01]>> Okay. Oh, you're all right.

[00:02:04]>> They'll be happy tears soon.

[00:02:05]>> It's okay.

[00:02:06]>> All right.

[00:02:07]>> Yeah. Fine.

[00:02:07]>> Come with me. You're >> got my notes there.

[00:02:11]>> Yeah. Grab them.

[00:02:12]>> Basically, I want a home birth, but in hospital, so I just want to be left.

[00:02:16]>> Okay. Um, >> that's absolutely fine by me.

[00:02:20]>> As long as I've got a birth plan there as well, I think of you.

[00:02:22]>> Oh, let's have a read. Come on in first.

[00:02:28]>> My tactic is to build a rapport as quickly as possible with women that are in labor. So, when did all this start?

[00:02:34]>> Oh, 3:00 this morning.

[00:02:35]>> 3:00 this morning.

[00:02:37]>> So, big deep breaths.

[00:02:41]>> As a man, I have to work to make that bond.

[00:02:44]>> Definitely coming quick, aren't they?

[00:02:47]But once we're over that initial shock, then it's just like any other labor.

[00:02:54]>> That one eased.

[00:02:56]>> Right. Should we do your blood pressure?

[00:02:58]>> Just be comfy for you here. You sure?

[00:03:00]>> You all right there?

[00:03:02]>> So, you midwife then?

[00:03:03]>> Yeah, I'm a midwife. Yeah.

[00:03:04]>> Just cuz you're a different color. It's >> because I'm new to this trust. Didn't >> sort my uniform out.

[00:03:11]>> Not like it's not confusing having the male midwife to begin with, is it?

[00:03:18]That's fine.

[00:03:19]>> So, have you got any other sisters or is it just >> No, just us two. One's enough.

[00:03:23]>> One's enough. Is she that bad?

[00:03:25]>> No, she's not.

[00:03:27]>> When we were younger, Mandy me a little bit because I was at that age where I was want to be a bit more independent.

[00:03:33]And she was the little sister. And you did cry a lot, didn't you?

[00:03:37]She was a winder.

[00:03:43]>> Once you hit that magic 4 cm and that's what we're looking for.

[00:03:46]>> No, you I definitely think I'm for better bloody be.

[00:03:51]>> We didn't always see eye to eye. We used to fight quite a bit. I got to play with all her toys.

[00:03:56]>> Yeah. Or break then tell you >> this last one.

[00:04:04]>> Yeah.

[00:04:06]Yeah, >> definitely.

[00:04:09]All right.

[00:04:10]>> I had a 6ft Barbie house that I loved and Mandy would play with it and just wreck everything and things would be everywhere and I'd go mad, >> but then secretly enjoy cleaning it again.

[00:04:21]>> As soon as you feel pressure in your bottom, you must let me know.

[00:04:24]>> Okay.

[00:04:24]>> All right.

[00:04:25]>> Okay.

[00:04:25]>> You had two previous children, so you could catch me out at any minute.

[00:04:29]>> Yeah.

[00:04:29]>> You know what I mean?

[00:04:31]>> Oh gosh. We can annoy each other still.

[00:04:34]Um, Jordan the birth. I've got to find that little happy medium where she'll appreciate me support and not be annoyed by me.

[00:04:43]>> Right. If I'm not in the room and you need me.

[00:04:46]>> Yeah.

[00:04:46]>> Press that rather sexist image of me like not allowed to wear a dress. Got pulled off. Dear one.

[00:04:52]>> All right. I'll be back shortly.

[00:04:58]>> Do you want me to take your other leg off now?

[00:05:00]>> Just leave it there. She's going to have to go back on anyway, isn't it?

[00:05:04]>> You just keep yourself respectable >> as as much as you can.

[00:05:13]>> I do think that a good birth partner is the best form of >> best form of entertainment. What you going to say?

[00:05:19]>> I remember a girl that was admitted, she sends her husband home for a bag, a bag of clothes. No, cuz she forgot an overnight bag. So, you would think he'd get pajamas, soap, underwear.

[00:05:37]He brought her a pair of pre-reg jeans >> that she couldn't even get in. A thong.

[00:05:45]>> A thong and a pair of stockings.

[00:05:48]>> That's what you need, isn't it?

[00:05:51]>> Having been there at the birth of my children, I kind of understand what it's like for the male birthing partners. He went, "I just panicked and just grabbed whatever I could find in a nicad draw."

[00:06:01]>> Oh, things that they must go through the mind.

[00:06:06]>> Some men are brilliant birth partners.

[00:06:09]Some men definitely find it a stressful and difficult situation to be in.

[00:06:14]There's a pressure to do the right thing. Some cope better than others.

[00:06:18]>> No, that's a nice dress.

[00:06:21]It's nice, isn't it? So, >> no.

[00:06:27]What I thought, sweet.

[00:06:29]>> I've always been in touch with my feminine side because I've grown up in a house full of women cuz my dad left when I was six.

[00:06:35]>> Would you ever add dark chocolate to your chilling?

[00:06:39]>> Dark chocolate. Coffee. That's the latest thing.

[00:06:42]>> Coffee? Yeah.

[00:06:44]>> Add what they called? Anchovies to cottage pie.

[00:06:48]>> Fish.

[00:06:50]The only fish I eat some cook. Oh, >> you eat that sushi stuff, don't you?

[00:06:55]That's gone.

[00:06:59]>> Well, my mom describes us as me being the little girl and me sisters being the boys cuz I'm the one who can sew. I'm the one who can cross stitch. I'm the one who has always been looking over his shoulder going, "Mom, what you doing?"

[00:07:11]>> At least they're starting.

[00:07:12]>> It's easy for you to say you ain't going through it.

[00:07:15]>> I love you, too. Don't worry.

[00:07:17]>> You could do it. But it's like se seahorses, isn't it?

[00:07:20]>> Yeah, except the male >> dies. Yes.

[00:07:23]>> Mm-m. Don't die.

[00:07:26]>> Spiders do and prey mantis.

[00:07:28]>> Spiders >> cuz to get the female spider pregnant, the female spider has to eat the male spider.

[00:07:35]And for um praying mantis when they're reproducing, they rip the male's head off.

[00:07:44]>> Just one.

[00:07:47]>> Kefir is definitely not like any other guy I've been out before. He's completely different. When me and Kefa go shopping, you'd pick out outfits and be like, "Oh, this goes with this." Or, "No, I don't think that really goes or that doesn't match." It is like being with a girlfriend sometimes.

[00:08:04]>> Hi, how are you?

[00:08:05]>> All right.

[00:08:06]>> Bit nervous.

[00:08:07]>> Yeah.

[00:08:08]>> My name's Deborah. So, you're 7 days overdue and we inducing you. So, what I'm going to do today is I'll examine you and put the pastry in. We'll do it all together. Okay. Right. Step under the sheet then, honey. If it gets too much, let me know. We'll stop. Okay.

[00:08:25]Okay. Feet together, knees apart.

[00:08:27]Fabulous. Okay.

[00:08:29]>> Feel free if you need to break me hands.

[00:08:33]>> Squeeze away. Squeeze away.

[00:08:37]>> Growing up with women has made me a good partner for Sophie. I can help her through everything cuz I know what's going on myself.

[00:08:45]>> Okay. So, that should help things along.

[00:08:48]>> Keep her up. dots on Sophie. Absolutely worships her and I don't think she could have met a nice guy. Really?

[00:08:54]>> Well, you're toasty now, babe.

[00:08:56]>> She won't want to come out if you keep her warm, you know. You can have a cold bath and give her a shock.

[00:09:00]>> Oh, so you know it's a little girl. And what have you got?

[00:09:03]>> A little boy.

[00:09:04]>> Oh, perfect.

[00:09:05]>> There's Nico when he was first born.

[00:09:07]>> Look at that face.

[00:09:08]>> 30 seconds old. He was. I got told to shut up.

[00:09:12]>> Oh, no. Bless him. He was crying, but it was like uncontrollable. And I got >> to even the nurses said, "Come on, get out." And you could still hear him outside when we were driving. Oh my god.

[00:09:23]I know people get emotional, but flip me. It was hilarious.

[00:09:26]>> When I met Kefir, he was protective of me. I think that's what kind of like wowed me about him because most men aren't like that.

[00:09:34]>> I could be here all day showing you pictures.

[00:09:37]>> Yeah. Sit down. Pack it in now. Should we b >> I'll just call her in, shall I?

[00:09:49]How are you? All right.

[00:09:50]>> Yeah. How are you?

[00:09:51]>> Not so bad.

[00:09:52]>> Prime for me.

[00:09:58]>> Oh, just keep bleeding through it.

[00:10:00]>> Waters.

[00:10:02]>> Tell them waters are gone.

[00:10:02]>> Oh, nice. Nice.

[00:10:05]>> Oh [ __ ] >> Have they gone a lot or just gone completely?

[00:10:12]The >> waters have just gone. Oh.

[00:10:14]>> Yeah.

[00:10:18]Deep breathing.

[00:10:21]Getting some pressure.

[00:10:23]>> You're okay.

[00:10:24]>> Oh, nice. Deep breath.

[00:10:25]>> When you're doing good, moms. Keep breathing.

[00:10:29]>> Me and my sister really started to become friendly when we'd had our own children. I think we had something in common then and it sort of brought us together.

[00:10:41]>> Keep breathing. You're doing good. Keep going. Come on, you can do it.

[00:10:49]>> Keep breathing, mom. We both were moms, so both understood each other and we could do stuff together with the kids.

[00:10:55]Go on. Keep going.

[00:10:58]So, go on. Breathe.

[00:11:04]Where's the head?

[00:11:06]>> Stay nice and focused for me.

[00:11:07]>> Come on. Nice deep breath.

[00:11:09]>> And just breathe.

[00:11:13]Brilliant.

[00:11:14]>> Breathe. Breathe. Just keep going.

[00:11:17]Breathe.

[00:11:18]>> That's it.

[00:11:20]>> Breathe it away from me.

[00:11:21]>> Come on.

[00:11:23]When she asked me to be a bathing partner, I was I was made up cuz I I'd always wanted to. Special.

[00:11:31]>> Well done. Breathe. That's it. Good.

[00:11:34]Good.

[00:11:36]>> Come on in.

[00:11:37]>> Hi. We have a baby.

[00:11:38]>> Yeah.

[00:11:39]>> My name's Debbie. I'm one of midwives.

[00:11:43]That's it. Just breathe.

[00:11:44]>> Listen to your body. Breathe that one away. Now that's head delivered. That's >> it. Good. 21.

[00:11:52]>> Build up and then big push into your bottom.

[00:11:56]>> Go on. You're doing brilliant.

[00:11:58]>> One big push.

[00:12:00]>> That's it. Keep going.

[00:12:05]>> Come on there.

[00:12:06]>> Yeah.

[00:12:06]>> Is that one easy in?

[00:12:07]>> Yeah.

[00:12:08]>> Right. What I want you to do, I want you to carefully Turn over just very carefully.

[00:12:14]>> Come on.

[00:12:15]>> Let's roll you over.

[00:12:16]>> We're just going to have to get your legs up. This is just to give you a bit more extra space. Okay. So, with your next contraction, just the hardest push you've ever done. All right. Big push right down into your bum.

[00:12:28]>> Okay. Come on. Keep it going. Keep it going. Keep it going. That's it. That's it. Keep it going. Oh, brilliant. Well done. Bring the baby up on your chest, >> little girl. Oh, >> you wanting to cut baby's card?

[00:12:46]>> Yeah.

[00:12:46]>> Yeah. We can't cut anything else other than my fingers.

[00:12:49]>> And I'll scream loudly. So, don't worry.

[00:12:53]>> As we're getting older, we're getting more understanding of each other.

[00:12:56]>> Yeah. More understanding >> and maybe more. Yeah. More. That's what I was thinking. More time. Yeah. More patient with each other as well.

[00:13:03]>> Did super right.

[00:13:07]>> She's gorgeous.

[00:13:12]We are close now. We've become a lot closer. She's my best mate and yeah, mine too.

[00:13:21]>> Well done.

[00:13:32]>> You going to turkey?

[00:13:34]>> Saturday.

[00:13:35]>> Excited.

[00:13:37]>> How long you going for?

[00:13:38]>> A week. A week.

[00:13:41]>> I go a week on Saturday. Yay.

[00:13:43]>> Where you going?

[00:13:44]>> New York.

[00:13:45]>> New York.

[00:13:46]>> Yeah. But I'm going on a cruise.

[00:13:48]>> So, Southampton to New York.

[00:13:50]>> Southampton to New York on a boat.

[00:13:52]>> Yeah.

[00:13:53]>> Yeah. You've been on a big boat before.

[00:13:54]>> Yeah.

[00:13:55]>> He's been the Navy.

[00:14:00]>> As a teenager, I was definitely an underachiever because of my lack of qualifications and immaturity. I was left really with the only option to go into the military, which is what I did by joining the Royal Navy. This one's got indoor skydiving and bumper cars and all sorts on it.

[00:14:18]>> It got slides and everything. Waterfall slides. Yeah.

[00:14:20]>> Yeah. I joined up and became a Submariner and he also did trauma medicine.

[00:14:25]>> I think it's the third biggest ship at sea. It's just ridiculous what it's got.

[00:14:29]>> The Royal Navy gives you a family without a shadow of a doubt. You go through so many highs and so many lows.

[00:14:36]Very similar to what nurses and midwives say about the NHS.

[00:14:42]As cliche as it sounds, the Royal Navy did make a man of me.

[00:14:48]I used to be stuck on a submarine with men who were courageous, who I thought were impressive, but they were nothing compared to women going through child birth. There's definitely a reason why it's women that give birth.

[00:14:59]>> New uniform.

[00:15:00]>> Yep. Finally got it.

[00:15:11]Do you know what? I can't just >> I can't even see.

[00:15:14]>> My phone's on the floor.

[00:15:17]>> It's mine in my bag.

[00:15:19]>> It's mine in my bag. It's mine in my bag.

[00:15:23]>> I don't know.

[00:15:24]>> That's what I sat it there for.

[00:15:27]>> Freaking hell.

[00:15:29]>> Yeah, I've got it. Right.

[00:15:33]So, come on. Try and get your wet.

[00:15:36]I know it's the middle of the night, but I said get your wits about you. Anybody like Speedy Gonzalez?

[00:15:50]I hate that she wears a trousers thing, but from an outside perspective, people would always say I'm the boss.

[00:15:58]I I don't think I'm going to get past this point. You going >> Stop. Stop. Just breathe.

[00:16:06]You >> okay?

[00:16:08]>> Just get off my back. Girl, >> I'm quite feisty. I want everything done yesterday.

[00:16:16]>> Ro's got standards up here and if you don't meet them standards, then you know about it.

[00:16:24]>> Hello. Can I help you?

[00:16:26]>> Hi. Come in. Yes.

[00:16:31]Hi. Hi. Hello.

[00:16:33]>> Is it really really bad?

[00:16:36]>> I'm I'm struggling. I'm not getting very far. I run in the front door and one in the left.

[00:16:46]>> Welcome. Thank you.

[00:16:51]Right. Do you want me to have a little look and see how you're doing?

[00:16:55]>> Break the bad news. I believe Might not be bad. It might not be bad.

[00:17:01]>> But you have 10 days over now.

[00:17:03]>> Yeah. Three sweeps later. A whole pineapple. Several extremely hot curries.

[00:17:08]>> Yeah. 10 days later.

[00:17:10]>> None of it works, does it?

[00:17:13]Take your bath in the bath. I'll wash my hands.

[00:17:15]>> Take the bottom.

[00:17:21]When Rowan walked in her first day in work, I was very I was intrigued by her really. My confidence used out and she was different to everyone else I met before. They love coming.

[00:17:30]>> Come here.

[00:17:33]Come on.

[00:17:33]>> Yeah.

[00:17:34]>> You need to get down.

[00:17:37]Breathe. Breathe. Sh.

[00:17:39]>> Just look.

[00:17:44]>> I moved down from Scotland to work for a bank. We found out we were getting a male manager and I was quite excited and then he turned up and I thought >> I was quite disappointed.

[00:18:00]>> But obviously his personality shown through.

[00:18:02]>> Yeah. Eventually. Yeah.

[00:18:03]>> Eventually.

[00:18:05]Do you want to lead a rainbow?

[00:18:09]>> Yeah.

[00:18:12]>> Do you want to put your heels together?

[00:18:13]Yeah. It's all right. It's okay. So, I'm going for 5 cm.

[00:18:18]>> Oh, you beauty.

[00:18:20]>> Get that bath on, women.

[00:18:23]>> I will get that bath on.

[00:18:25]>> I could hug you.

[00:18:27]>> You can hug me all your life.

[00:18:34]>> Part of the attraction with Phil was was just always a nice guy and he was quite careerdriven and I liked that. I admired that. I like someone that's driven.

[00:18:47]>> I'll be back in two seconds. Thanks, Dave.

[00:18:50]>> Okay.

[00:18:53]Right. Where's my case?

[00:18:54]>> Yeah. Do you want to get your stuff out?

[00:18:57]>> Just my tank.

[00:19:08]That's it. What you looking for?

[00:19:10]>> What you looking for now?

[00:19:12]Well, I'm not going to have bottoms on, am I?

[00:19:17]>> One fateful night, I got really drunk and texted him cuz I became even more forward when I'm sober. Um, and just not quite as politely said, "Get the hint."

[00:19:32]>> I had no idea. I literally had no idea.

[00:19:33]When I got the text, I thought, "My god, >> really?"

[00:19:37]>> I had no idea.

[00:19:38]>> It's normally the guys go after the woman, isn't it? Never had that before to be honest with you.

[00:19:42]>> Oh my god.

[00:19:46]Oh my god.

[00:19:48]>> Okay, >> that's a bad one.

[00:19:52]>> He just went from living with his mom to just living with me.

[00:19:55]>> Yeah. No, that's it.

[00:19:56]>> That was it.

[00:19:59]>> It's definitely happening.

[00:20:03]>> Words of wisdom.

[00:20:09]>> I see you back. Yes.

[00:20:10]>> Would you please go into room 9 who's just come from the M Lu?

[00:20:16]>> Yeah.

[00:20:16]>> Thanks.

[00:20:20]>> Oh no. Hello.

[00:20:22]>> Sorry we're after female.

[00:20:24]>> You might struggle.

[00:20:29]>> As a male midwife, one of the criticisms that you get is that you have no idea what child birth is like.

[00:20:35]>> You want a female?

[00:20:36]>> I'll just tell Rachel got no one at the moment. However, there's a number of female midwives that don't have children.

[00:20:45]>> There's no one else at the minute. She said she will try and get you someone, but at the minute there's nobody to come.

[00:20:52]>> We all have events in our lives that we draw upon to help support the women and the families that you look after.

[00:20:58]>> Did you say you used to be a helicopter pilot?

[00:21:01]>> Helicopter trauma medic.

[00:21:02]>> So, why did you why did you turn to Midwiffrey then? I did my cartilage twice in my knee so I had to come out and I was going to become a children's nurse >> but they didn't recognize my naval qualifications said go back we love you on paper go away do your A levels come back went back to doing and became a midwife >> already had three children so I've been through the birth experience and just something clicked inside me that said I could do that >> just over 2 years I didn't qualify >> do you enjoy it >> anyone can be a midwife male or female.

[00:21:35]It's just not a gender specific role.

[00:21:37]It's about your nature and the qualities that you bring to the profession.

[00:21:42]>> Moren, my girl has said she doesn't mind.

[00:21:44]>> She rang me a few times.

[00:21:45]>> What room are you in?

[00:21:46]>> Right. We are in room six.

[00:21:49]>> Let's Let's go in.

[00:21:50]>> Room six.

[00:21:51]>> I'll leave that to you.

[00:21:54]>> Have you sold me to them and said how wonderful I am?

[00:21:58]>> Take a break. Three letters.

[00:22:01]Can't be nap. Can't be rest.

[00:22:04]>> Well, rest is four.

[00:22:05]>> Four.

[00:22:05]>> They'll know that's >> naps. Three.

[00:22:07]>> Take a >> not doing very well.

[00:22:14]>> Anyone know the German for brown?

[00:22:17]>> Uh, brawn. B R A U N.

[00:22:21]>> A U N.

[00:22:24]>> Okay.

[00:22:24]>> Pretty sure I had a razor made by them.

[00:22:27]>> Oh, take a break. You know what it is.

[00:22:29]It's not that. It was for it to rest.

[00:22:32]I didn't see your last square >> after all that.

[00:22:35]>> I know. Yeah, I didn't see the last square.

[00:22:39]>> All right, check it.

[00:22:39]>> You're all right, sweetheart.

[00:22:42]>> That was a proper pain then, aren't I?

[00:22:47]>> You're doing well. Just breathe improving.

[00:22:48]>> Coming and going more now.

[00:22:50]>> Yeah.

[00:22:50]>> Good. Good.

[00:22:54]>> I think I've always needed strong women in my life. I'd say Sophie's probably one of the strongest women I've ever come across. And I love it to bits.

[00:23:06]>> God, you're really doing the clappers now.

[00:23:10]>> It seems to be working anyway.

[00:23:13]>> Let's just see what's going on.

[00:23:20]>> You're a good 4 cm now.

[00:23:22]>> Is that all right? 4 cm.

[00:23:24]>> Yeah, that's amazing.

[00:23:26]>> Brilliant.

[00:23:27]Now that you've started the ball rolling, I think we'll pop a little Vflon in your hand. You know, because you said you bled last time. So, we take some blood, send it off. So, we've got some ready just in case we need it. And we've got a line into your arm. So, I think it's time we did that now.

[00:23:43]>> A few hours after I delivered my son, I hemorrhaged and I lost a lot of blood.

[00:23:52]>> She just collapsed on me. The next thing I knew, there was blood dripping from the chair. I was scared. I thought I was going to lose her.

[00:24:02]>> You okay with blood, Keith?

[00:24:03]>> Yeah, >> I'm not.

[00:24:09]>> Thank you, Lord.

[00:24:12]>> At one point, I actually thought I did lose her. I was on the phone to me in tears, thinking, "How the hell would I bring up a baby on my own?

[00:24:24]I needed two blood transfusions.

[00:24:27]It took me about 6 months to fully recover.

[00:24:32]Kefir had to do both roles of mom and dad cuz I was so ill.

[00:24:37]I was too weak to look after him.

[00:24:40]>> There you go. All the nasty bits done.

[00:24:45]>> Done.

[00:24:46]>> I didn't know what to do. I'd never took care of a newborn before. They just look so fragile. I didn't know how to dress him cuz I didn't want to hurt his arms or legs.

[00:24:59]I needed Sophie, man. Do you need to squeeze, sweetheart?

[00:25:12]>> No, not with this one. much stronger.

[00:25:20]Squeeze.

[00:25:22]I've tried to forget about all of it.

[00:25:26]I've tried to just carry on, put it in the back of my mind if it happens again.

[00:25:36]I don't know what I'd do.

[00:25:44]I love you.

[00:25:56]>> Okay. Okay. So, it >> just put your toe in first to make sure it's all right.

[00:26:03]>> That's it.

[00:26:07]>> Okay.

[00:26:08]>> Oh my goodness.

[00:26:10]Hot reef.

[00:26:11]>> Is it? Is it that good?

[00:26:13]>> Yeah, fab. Goodness.

[00:26:16]>> So, you don't want to gas now. I can't give me >> keep a seal around that. Breathe in and out through the tube. There you go.

[00:26:28]That's all yours. All right.

[00:26:32]Thank you. You're welcome.

[00:26:35]Being a mom is something that I've always thought about. My sister had children quite young.

[00:26:41]>> I used to spend every moment that I could with her and her kids.

[00:26:52]Good >> girl.

[00:26:58]Nice deep breaths. Come on. You're doing really, really well.

[00:27:02]>> You're fantastic.

[00:27:04]>> You okay?

[00:27:06]No, something felt really funny then.

[00:27:09]>> Means the stuff's working.

[00:27:10]>> No, something just changed.

[00:27:15]>> In what way?

[00:27:17]>> Like something >> moved.

[00:27:21]>> I suppose my struggles to conceive actually started before I moved down from Scotland. before I fell.

[00:27:35]I had a miscarriage at 19. I don't think I was mentally equipped to deal with that. And it just seemed like everyone, you know, they were able to have children without any problem.

[00:27:49]>> Oh my god.

[00:27:51]>> Keep pushing.

[00:27:51]>> Oh my god.

[00:27:54]>> Doing really, really well.

[00:27:56]What's my god about?

[00:28:02]>> You're doing brilliantly.

[00:28:05]>> I went through years and years of a grieving process. I mean, to this day, I still mark the anniversary. Um, and often think, oh, she'd have a teenage child by now.

[00:28:20]Keep breathing.

[00:28:20]>> Well done.

[00:28:22]Well done. Fantastic.

[00:28:28]That's it.

[00:28:32]>> I moved to Liverpool largely to have a fresh start, I suppose, but also just to come to terms with what had happened.

[00:28:41]Just kind of escape from everything.

[00:28:44]>> Okay.

[00:28:47]>> I don't think I'm going to be able to do this natural.

[00:28:51]>> What do you mean you don't think you're going to be able to do it?

[00:28:56]But you're doing it, Ro. Got all this way on your own.

[00:28:59]>> It'll be fine.

[00:29:00]>> So close. Honestly, >> cool.

[00:29:05]>> I think I'm going to need >> something bit stronger.

[00:29:11]>> Just see how you get on. You did really well.

[00:29:14]It's one step at a time.

[00:29:23]Chris, do us a favor. It only take a sec. I just need you to turn this tap off. I can't turn it.

[00:29:30]>> Oh, bloody useless woman. You >> shut up.

[00:29:37]>> I'm tired.

[00:29:38]>> One of the best things about being a male midwife, working with female colleagues is when they come to accept you as being a midwife rather than a male midwife.

[00:29:48]>> Can't turn it off.

[00:29:49]>> Which one?

[00:29:50]>> THE SHOWER ONE.

[00:29:57]I'LL GET YOU BACK.

[00:30:09]That's it. War tonight.

[00:30:13]You're accepted as a colleague and as a friend and they forget your gender.

[00:30:29]You through your mouth out through your nose.

[00:30:31]>> No.

[00:30:32]>> Through your nose and out through your mouth.

[00:30:34]>> I'll do it wrong then.

[00:30:40]>> Do you want to try the gas, sweetheart?

[00:30:43]>> She'll tell you when she was.

[00:30:47]After I had my first born, Kefir was a big help.

[00:30:57]>> Sophie was obviously very ill. This time I want to be like a normal family.

[00:31:03]>> All right, darling. Go on. Just think positive. You've wanted this for ages now.

[00:31:07]>> No, you're the end now.

[00:31:11]>> I've been told that I can hemorrhage again. I try and distract myself from it, but it's always going to play on my mind. And I know when I am in labor, that's all I'm going to think about.

[00:31:22]>> Try with the gas in her.

[00:31:25]>> She's going to shove that up your ass.

[00:31:27]>> I'll have it when I want it.

[00:31:29]>> I know how stubborn you are, sweethe.

[00:31:38]>> Yeah.

[00:31:41]Oh, swear to God.

[00:31:43]>> I'm not putting it in here. I've only got hold of it just in case. Hopefully, everything will go smoothly. I'll be the rock that she needs.

[00:31:52]She needs to look at me and know that everything's going to be okay.

[00:31:59]You >> sure you don't want your gas?

[00:32:01]>> No.

[00:32:02]>> I've been trying.

[00:32:03]>> No.

[00:32:09]Go on.

[00:32:16]I'll get her out.

[00:32:20]>> And for your nose, >> you can do it. Come on. Do you want the dorphine again or?

[00:32:28]>> No. More than that again.

[00:32:31]>> When the next one comes and try your gas and then if you feel sick or whatever, >> you'd be proud of yourself if you do it on gas and air. I know you would.

[00:32:53]All right.

[00:32:56]>> You what? Honey, I think I should examine you. Let's just see what's going on.

[00:33:00]>> Feel like I need to like do a big poo.

[00:33:03]>> That sounds like you're really progressing very, very well, doesn't it?

[00:33:06]>> You might take after me. Go from 4 to 10 like that.

[00:33:14]>> Think your water.

[00:33:16]>> Wow. You just ready to have this babe?

[00:33:18]>> Really?

[00:33:18]>> Yeah.

[00:33:21]>> Oh my. Has she gone to bed?

[00:33:23]>> Yeah. Your waters have gone. Okay. Can you just press that bell for me cuz some midwives?

[00:33:29]>> Okay. Carry on. You can just carry on.

[00:33:32]>> Yeah. 10 cm >> if you really want to. Gosh, you clever girl. You clever girl.

[00:33:40]You are just the best mom.

[00:33:43]Wow.

[00:33:45]So fabulous.

[00:33:48]>> Keep her. Keep it coming now. Keep her coming.

[00:33:51]>> Is her head out yet?

[00:33:52]>> Nearly.

[00:33:53]>> Nearly.

[00:33:55]>> Nearly.

[00:33:57]>> Oh, you are just the best mom in the world. A little bit more. So, that's it. Now, pant a little bit for me. Pant. Oh, good.

[00:34:08]>> Okay, that's wonderful. Baby heads down.

[00:34:12]Next pain, you're going to have your baby.

[00:34:21]>> Oh my god.

[00:34:23]Why are you doing that?

[00:34:28]>> I'm doing it all by myself.

[00:34:30]>> Disgusting.

[00:34:32]>> They're calling for no Being a dad is the best thing to ever happen to me.

[00:34:45]>> It's changed me so much for the better.

[00:34:47]I think it was just what I was meant to be in life.

[00:34:51]>> Can I cut the cord?

[00:34:52]>> Yes, definitely.

[00:34:54]>> I didn't get down to first.

[00:34:56]>> Nice and strong.

[00:35:02]>> Are you proud of yourself, sweetheart?

[00:35:04]She should be.

[00:35:05]>> She was 4 cm at half past 3.

[00:35:09]>> You think?

[00:35:10]>> No.

[00:35:10]>> I can't believe.

[00:35:11]>> Oh, look at them eyes.

[00:35:12]>> I know.

[00:35:13]>> Hello, darling. Yeah.

[00:35:16]>> You want to do >> beautiful just like a mommy?

[00:35:20]>> This time I would like Kea to have a normal father experience.

[00:35:25]>> I'm happy just to play the dad role and not have to play the mom role as well.

[00:35:30]>> Happy birthday.

[00:35:33]Yeah.

[00:35:56]>> Now say >> he's pretending not to be married.

[00:36:04]I'm sure you don't take it after you.

[00:36:06]>> Never would.

[00:36:10]>> When we first started living together, we agreed to kind of hold off from having children for quite a while.

[00:36:17]>> I think we wanted to enjoy life first, go on the holidays, do go to nights out and enjoy life first before we started settling down.

[00:36:24]>> It was 2008. We agreed that we would start trying then >> and nothing happened really.

[00:36:32]If I push, should I just push?

[00:36:34]>> Yeah. Go with your body. Whatever your body tells you to do, you feel free to do that.

[00:36:42]>> It's okay. It's okay.

[00:36:48]>> We were asked all the time, "When are you having kids?" Um, and the more our friends would have children, the more they would ask Excellent.

[00:37:02]>> I can't.

[00:37:03]>> You can't. Come on.

[00:37:06]>> That's it. Deep breath. Deep breath.

[00:37:09]Doing really well.

[00:37:12]>> And then in 2011, completely out the blue, we conceived. And I was told that it was an ectopic pregnancy.

[00:37:24]Done. Let's go.

[00:37:28]>> You're admitted immediately to then have this horrible operation to remove one of your fallopian tubes.

[00:37:37]>> Can I have a little listen in?

[00:37:38]>> Yeah. Okay.

[00:37:51]Come on.

[00:37:54]We're so close. Very close. You're so close.

[00:38:01]Trying for a baby without much success.

[00:38:04]You feel like it's you against the world. Everyone around you is are having children. Every advert on the TV is about babies and nappies and milk. You just want to know, am I ever going to experience that feeling of a baby moving inside?

[00:38:25]Deep breath. Deep breath.

[00:38:29]>> Well done.

[00:38:30]>> Come on.

[00:38:33]Good girl. That's it.

[00:38:41]>> It wasn't an easy task. It was very difficult trying to support each of them.

[00:38:45]>> That's it. Come on.

[00:38:49]>> I did find that really difficult.

[00:38:52]>> Come on. That's it. Good.

[00:38:55]>> Okay. Breathe through that now.

[00:38:56]>> Breathe through. Breathe through.

[00:39:01]>> Come on. Keep going.

[00:39:04]>> I sort of half out.

[00:39:08]>> Precious immense really on both I think both yourself but on both parties.

[00:39:11]pressure is huge cuz you want a baby that much and it's not happening.

[00:39:17]>> Good girl.

[00:39:34]A sting.

[00:39:48]Just breathe through the sting.

[00:39:51]I can't I can't.

[00:39:57]>> That's it. Well done. Fantastic. He's moving right.

[00:40:09]>> Come on.

[00:40:10]>> That's it.

[00:40:12]>> Okay.

[00:40:15]>> Well done.

[00:40:17]You can do it.

[00:40:18]>> So, breathe through that now cuz this is the baby's head.

[00:40:22]>> Hi. Second midwife, please.

[00:40:25]>> Is it just his body now?

[00:40:27]>> Yes. Give us a big push down. Okay, we really need baby to be coming with the next contraction. Okay, what we're going to do is we're just going to get some of the other girls here and we're just going to change your position. Okay, he's not coming. So, >> can we take this out? I want you to stand up, sweetheart. So, come on. You really need to stand up now. Come on, sweetheart. Okay. Come on. Good girl.

[00:41:02]Just get this leg right over your back.

[00:41:05]>> That's it. Good girl. Ladies, you're okay. You got to go. Come on.

[00:41:11]Okay. Come on. You can do it. Go for it.

[00:41:15]>> Yeah. Help.

[00:41:16]>> Come on. You can do it.

[00:41:19]>> Hey, >> he's big.

[00:41:24]He cried. He looks creepers. Look at the size of you.

[00:41:28]>> Look it. Congratulations.

[00:41:34]>> Wow. Congratulations.

[00:41:38]>> Oh my goodness.

[00:41:48]>> I've always wanted someone strong for myself to bring my confidence out when she's done that.

[00:41:54]She is between belie and see, aren't we?

[00:42:08]>> Do find ourselves really, really lucky way things have worked out for us.

[00:42:13]>> Oh my goodness me. What is he?

[00:42:24]>> No wonder you did brilliantly.

[00:42:28]>> I don't think newborn clothes are going to do in 6 months probably.

[00:42:35]>> My god, you are a big tank.

[00:42:39]>> He's beautiful, isn't he? The size of him.

[00:42:42]>> He weighs a ton. Oh, I'm never going to be able to walk properly ever again after that.

[00:42:48]>> You certainly are. And you'll be back for more.

[00:42:50]>> No.

[00:42:50]>> No.

[00:42:52]>> It's taking so long. Just as long as I'm getting that.

[00:42:57]>> You think God Calvin beat them up next week.

[00:43:04]We've been together 12 years and to finally be at the point now that we have got children and we're appreciating the simple things now. That's lovely.

[00:43:15]There's nothing else like it.

[00:43:17]>> You're amazing. You pushed that out of a bloody gas can.

[00:43:30]>> Come here.