Miller provides a pragmatic cognitive anchor by mapping emotional turbulence onto a predictable four-phase cycle, effectively decoupling identity from physiological states. It is a clever intellectualization of the healing process that offers structure where there is usually only chaos.
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๐ฌ๐ข๐จ๐ฅ ๐ ๐ข๐ข๐ Isnโt Random During Healing (Hereโs Whatโs Really Happening)Added:
Mood instability during recovery can be so pronounced. One day you're, you know, up here and the next you're down here and it can change moment to moment.
Almost to the point where you think you're going crazy.
And I want to map out for you here why this is happening to give you some sort of framework and it will also help you know where you are in these cycles.
So, there is actually a logic to your mood change because you know, your state is it it is so fundamental and your state is changing all the time as the nervous system, excuse [clears throat] me, is is reorganizing and processing.
So, we have to look at how state creates the story, the thoughts.
Why your feelings are not always about your life and about the reality and the truth of now and how uncoupling from them helps restore regulation and supports this regulation process, which of course is happening naturally.
So, these are really labile moods, this mood instability that everyone will be familiar with can be so frightening and so destabilizing.
It literally makes you feel you're going mad at times.
One moment, say in the morning, you can feel capable and slightly positive, um, engaged with the process and then bam, flat, hopeless, despairing in the afternoon and then, say, calm a bit later in the day.
And yet, nothing has obviously changed in your environment.
And yet, your emotional world can ping-pong around the place so dramatically and become so intense and your thoughts following them.
It's not random and it's not evidence that anything is wrong with your life or that your mood is reflecting anything in your life that you need to actually deal with now because as we know, the body is catching up from the past. It's processing stuff from the past. So, what we're experiencing now isn't actually relating to the present moment.
So, our thoughts, correspondingly, don't actually relate to now. The brain, the ego mind, the protective mind is commenting on what's coming up, but it's actually the old processes finishing.
And this involves the nervous system moving through these different phases and please look at the videos on the four-phase cycle of nervous system completion.
As the nervous system tries to to to to regulate itself, as we come back to the body, as it tries to restore fluidity, it will be going to extremes of activation of of of of of collapse, of brief moments in parasympathetic calmness as it's sort of clearing up and and flexing its muscles and and and coming back online, coming back to itself, self-regulating.
And because of that, it feels very intense.
And this is why, of course, we have a schedule to do that and please look at the videos on those cycles to help you understand.
So, these phases are happening over and over again to a lesser or greater extent.
Happens in everybody, but if we have dysregulated for all the reasons we understand, this will feel very dramatic and very pronounced.
So, let's just begin with a principle that has to be taken seriously if we really are to make sense of our recovery. State comes first, story comes second, always, always, always, okay?
Your brain does not generate thoughts based on objective reality.
It generates interpretations based on the internal state of your body, your neurochemistry, your autonomic nervous system, your hormonal balances and your available available energy.
And it kind of guesses, it has an opinion based on the past.
As described by Karl Friston in predictive processing frameworks, the brain is constantly trying to explain what the body is feeling to help you move through your environment. Very helpful if you're living in the present.
You feel fear naturally because you're connected with the body.
This tells you something about your environment which might require you to take action, but this is not the case if we're dysregulated. We're feeling fear when we're safe. We're feeling grief when we haven't actually got any moment of loss currently present. We're feeling rage inexplicably when we're just sitting on the sofa.
This is the problem. So, the energy that's coming up that's normally informing cognition, informing consciousness, informing the brain in case we need to take action and meaning needs to be made of it is is at a mismatch. It is not telling us what's happening now.
So, when our internal state changes as it will very, very rapidly cycling through these stages, the brain is always trying to produce a narrative to make sense of it and to match it. So, low energy becomes um, you know, hopelessness and particularly so if you've got if it's referring to old models of, say, you've had CFS, ME, um, which has meant it's dangerous or being in a growing up in an environment to have low energy meant you were vulnerable or not safe or you always had to be busy. So, it has a meaning attached to it. So, therefore, that interpretation will based on that.
In [snorts] the same way, activation might mean something is wrong as as as we might feel, um, a lot of of sympathetic arousal as the nervous system is trying to activate to completion over and over again.
And, you know, calm, everyone assumes obviously everything is fine.
>> [snorts] >> And when you're in it, the story feels completely true.
But it is downstream.
>> [snorts] >> Let's just go through the four phases and their emotional biological signatures so you'll know and you you can do it in reverse. You'll know when you're in these certain states, ah, I'm in drop, I'm in harvest, whatever.
It will tell you and you'll be able to map more clearly the crazy weather patterns in your nervous system, but completely righteous and ordered if you understand what's happening.
And then you won't have to fear it and fight with these with these emotions.
So, one is, of course, activation. This is urgency, drive, pressure. This is this is mobilization. This is when a packet of repressed material is coming into consciousness to complete or because you've just done an activity, you you've actioned something in the system. Energy is rising to support this action.
And neurochemically, this includes increased adrenaline, noradrenaline, adrenaline, elevated cortisol, increased dopamine, which is the the the neurotransmitter of drive and and and goal orientation, and glutamate dominance, excitatory signaling, reduced GABA influence and relatively reduced serotonin stability, lower relative oxytocin influence, which means you feel less safety.
And emotionally, this feels sort of unsafe, urgency, pressure, anxiety, agitation, restlessness, compulsive thinking, irritability.
This is that kind of wired feeling that we'll all be so familiar with and the brain interprets this state as there there must be something I need to do, I need to fix this. I, you know, you're feeling on edge and very, very kind of unsafe.
In fact, it's just energy moving through the system, which, of course, is interpreted at a higher level because we have increased uh, interoception. We're we're reading things at a higher level. We've become so hypervigilant and obsessed with our internal state, it seems even louder.
And it is loud because now we're allowing it as well.
So, the brain, when it's receiving all this bottom-up information from this state, is assuming if you're having this urgency coming up, well, what doesn't Why are we feeling this? There must be something we should do, which in a regulated person would be true.
If you're feeling like that, it's because something is requesting your attention.
So, it produces thoughts like I need to fix this.
Uh, something isn't right. I need to I need to calm it down. It's it's it's wrong.
Even when nothing objectively is wrong.
And this is how activation and anxiety and this wired feeling is misinterpreted as danger because it will be very, very intense for most people now as they return to the body and allow.
So, in the drop phase, which is that which follows activation, after mobilization, the system has to downshift. This is the beginning of, you know, the processing, the drop, the downshift from being up here to down. And this phase can often be misinterpreted as sort of bleakness, depression.
It you know, it's when we feel fatigued and flat walloped. Hope has got a hopeless tone to it.
We're a bit offline.
Um but it's a biological necessity because this is where we start to energy starts to be taken from out there to be drawn inward to process that which has been activated to try and hopefully finish a cycle if we let it and don't interrupt it. So, it's that drop phase, that kind of PEM phase, the beginning of the flare which is so important because this is where the true integration happens. And neurochemically, we have a reduction in dopamine, reduced drive because everything is wanting you not to be driven. It wants you to all all resources are being reallocated for this this incredibly metabolically expensive process of of of processing and integrating that which has mobilized and activated.
So, reduced drive a massive drop in um uh adrenaline and cortisol.
The serotonin will be slow or or or unstable.
And your endogenous opioids endorphins um can dip.
Glutamate reduces and GABA rises unevenly and inflammatory cytokines increase. This is that sickness behavior we feel we feel you know, fluey and yucky.
We are more aware, more sensitive and this is part of the repair and integration process.
Oxytocin may still be low and contributes to a sense of disconnection.
You feel very on your own. You feel very isolated in [snorts] this phase. This is the whole sickness behavior thing. See the separate video on sickness behavior.
Low energy, withdrawal, offline, reduced motivation very very negative, negativity bias you that there are not so um many neurotransmitters um able to buffer what's going in the body.
So, we feel things more deeply. The the gating isn't um protecting us in that way and because there's a whole process going on in the body resources are reallocated from executive functions. So, we really feel, you know, out of it and offline and foggy headed.
So, emotionally heavy, flat, depressing, quiet despair, bleakness, what's the point? I mean, doom, gloom, utter end of the world stuff.
And the brain does what it always does.
It's trying to explain this state. My life isn't working. This is never going to change. It's hopeless. I'm going to be like this forever. Something's wrong with me.
And this is where we have to become completely clear.
A low mood in drop is not about your life.
It's a low dopamine, low opioid, energy conserving biological state being interpreted as meaning by brain that's always trying to explain what's happening in the body.
But is mismatched with what's happening now because we're updating and we're regulating and feeling things we probably haven't felt for decades.
So, moving on to landing. This is when we start to you know, this is moving out of that very very intense processing integrating into the body. This is the installation. This is the next sort of phase of it and really really really important. This is where we get to finish these these cycles and move through to actually update the brain, update the ego with these prediction errors for lasting healing rather than just ping-ponging between activation and collapse, activation and collapse.
>> [snorts] >> So, in the landing phase it's where the system stabilizes enough to allow access to previously held emotional material. So, this is where we're not just feeling from the drop stage, but the stuff that's been repressed we've [snorts] now touched it. It's coming into consciousness, coming to the body.
And so, that buried material is surface surfacing into consciousness.
>> [snorts] >> And neurobiologically, what's happening is parasympathetic tone is stabilizing.
GABA becomes more coherent. Serotonin begins to regulate mood tone and endogenous opioids begin to return.
Oxytocin may increase if safety is present.
And limbic material becomes accessible.
So, this is where we feel quite emotional. This is where we'll feel quite exposed, vulnerable, tender um you know, we might be have unexplained sadness, fear, anger [clears throat] obviously. Um but we'll be feeling quite deeply.
And people often, you know, report deep grief without any kind of current loss >> [clears throat] >> fear without any immediate threat and and sense that something is really really off, but you're more in your body. And >> [clears throat] >> the key point is is not everything you feel in landing belongs to your present life. Mostly, it doesn't.
What is surfacing is often old material, unprocessed emotional charge from the past that you couldn't feel back then. That's often accumulating and is now moving through.
Obviously, which has been place held by your symptoms.
So, excuse [clears throat] me.
The brain, of course, doing its job trying to interpret and make meaning of this afferent incoming material is trying [clears throat] to attach meaning to the present. Well, you know, I I'm sitting on my sofa. I'm feeling terrible fear, terrible grief, um terrible rage.
Something must be wrong now.
And if you understand the origin is historical not current and if it's current, by the way, you'll know. It'll be obvious.
It'll be appropriate.
Otherwise, just think, oh, I'm just processing some emotions.
And you can know, I'm feeling really emotional. I've just been a drop. I feel a bit more online, but a bit vulnerable and sensitive. Oh, I'm I'm I'm in landing.
Moving towards the system settling and moving towards harvest. And harvest is the one that's the nice part. Um moving back to a sort of parasympathetic calm, neutral state. This is where we integrate. This is where the system consolidates. Memory is consolidated.
The the system is updated. The prediction error is encoded into consciousness.
And this is the completion of one layer, one one one cycle.
And neurochemically, dopamine stabilizes, cortisol and adrenaline reduce, serotonin supports emotional balance, endogenous opioids provide comfort and safety. We feel um just like a bit more calm and in our body and it our brain seems to work again.
Um glutamate and GABA balance, oxytocin supports connection and ease. And that horrible fluey cytokiney sickness behavior inflammatory signal reduces.
And emotionally, it feels like calm, neutrality a bit of hope quiet confidence and reduced reactivity. You're kind of back in the room. You're connected to people. You're connected to yourself and you're back believing everything is is working.
Cognitively, it's like, yeah, it's okay. I I I I I can manage this. It it's proportionate.
And this phase, you can kind of as you start blinking, you miss it and you can feel quite unremarkable, but it's where the system is updating its baseline. The default mode like at network is updating. You've just increased your capacity. You've just reeducated the ego, created [clears throat] a prediction error and effectively retrained your brain. This is the the wiring is complete.
And then round we round and round we go.
Your system is moving through these phases over and over repeatedly.
Fast, slow, it depends on where you are.
Depends how much you're processing. It depends how embodied you are.
Depends how much is coming up.
And your internal chemistry is constantly shifting through this process.
And your mode feel your mood will feel very unstable, particularly as you start.
All of these cycles, particularly if you haven't established a schedule yet which will be more like that, will feel very very intense.
You know, these uh >> [clears throat] >> changing energy which of course is is is part of this. You know, up here, you're down here, you know, and of course, the the the the corresponding mood. So, changing emotional tone, state and the changing thought patterns that follow from that.
So, within a signal single day you may feel engaged and capable you know, as the activation resolves, flat and low in the drop, emotionally exposed in landing, calm, steady in the harvest.
Whatever, there's a reason.
You're not [clears throat] going crazy.
And you don't need to do anything about it.
It it's not instability in a pathological sense. You don't need to be chugging down um antidepressants or mood stabilizers. You gods know, please don't.
It's the system becoming flexible again.
These are things you're now beginning to feel for the first time in years.
And sometimes this unblocking, as we know, that which has been full must be empty and empty full.
You're going to feel it hard.
And this is the system regaining its flexibility.
So this these extreme emotional states this this emotional you know being emotionally labile is not pathological it's not it's not failure it's actually a sign of the movement is replacing this this rigid inflexibility which will you'll probably have been living in for years.
And if I can just give you a sort of real world example. So someone following a schedule might go out for a walk and feel engaged if a bit you know you know uh wired return home and suddenly feel tired and low. That's the drop.
Sit quietly and feel emotional without knowing why the landing and then later feel calm and neutral in the harvest.
Now that's if we're following a schedule so it's not too extreme.
>> [clears throat] >> For people who don't have a schedule who are constantly doing inconsistent amounts of things these will feel much stronger. Your drop will be harder it will be more emotional be more doom laden it'll be more like I can't go on. That's the point when you think I just wish I was dead.
>> [snorts] >> And for people having you know which everyone will have let's be honest those suicidal thoughts I can't take it I wish I was dead.
It it'll appear here in the drop.
And then you'll move through and you'll think okay I feel a little bit better. You're back in the room. So please understand that these thoughts these moods are a symptom of a system regulating itself. What's like this to start with and as you have a schedule will start to become more like this and the cycles become less deep and more fluid and quicker to resolve.
Um it will become something that you can live within.
Not you won't be hijacked by it.
Because otherwise you'll be constantly living in the in the mood thinking something's wrong you've got to fix it you'll believe it you'll be like God I'm so depressed I can't cope with it I can't go on or like hey today's a really good day I'm going to be fine I'm going to go and do some more stuff than my schedule then you of course you've blown it again so we have to stick to the schedule.
So this is the container within which this can what's trying to come back into fluidity like for a person who's regulated which is the normal like this um we need the stable container which is the schedule.
So these four phases >> [snorts] >> the system completing a full cycle. And of course you know within the cycle we'll talk about more about this this other videos it's not always just a clean cycle. Sometimes you know cycle might get slightly interrupted and you'll have a mini cycle within a cycle.
But that's okay too.
The system is completing it knows what to do.
We just want to make it as I won't say comfortable cuz it's not going to be comfortable less appalling than it often does feel otherwise.
So why do the four thoughts feel so convincing because they are biologically generated.
When the dopamine drops the brain predicts hopelessness. Anyone who's taken recreational drugs will know this.
Certain drugs will change your your internal chemistry and you can feel like amazing. Why? Same system but from a different end.
And for people in the drops of the opioids dip the dopamine drops the brain is predicting discomfort it's hyper aware of it serotonin's low negativity bias is high cytokines rise with inflammation the brain is predicting illness.
Oxytocin's low so if you feel disconnected and unsafe like you just want to be in a room on your own no one understands you everyone's horrible and the thoughts feel completely real.
Because in a regulated person who is in touch with their instinct that's useful information. This is not what we're talking about here.
But [snorts] all thoughts are state driven.
So the core mechanism for us now is to uncouple the state from the meaning.
This is where healing really really happens. This is where the ego becomes updated the prediction errors happen and real healing is allowed to happen permanent healing.
So initially a bodily state arises the brain attaches an old meaning you believe it. Okay this is this is sort of gate one and two territory we think we're doomed. We think it's all okay and we're we're healed cuz we feel better cuz we're in harvest. Um and then we're devastated because we go round for another another cycle.
This is at the beginning until we understand the wisdom of the system.
So drop it's hopeless activation uh something's wrong I feel a bit you know energized and active.
But through repeated cycles repeated allowing within a schedule something will change you'll begin to notice hmm this feels like hopelessness.
Hmm. Could I be in the drop? I recognize I am in the drop. This feels urgent and a bit panicky and you know it's activation.
And in that moment in that moment you are you are engaging in meta cognition. You're seeing yourself from beyond the old patterns. You're watching the ego the protective minds opinions based on the past and [snorts] you're experiencing the state without fully believing the meaning. You think ah my brain thinks this is dangerous it is telling me I'm doomed and you can think that's what it does because that's the way the nervous system is working to regulate me. You go okay I don't like it but the fact I'm staying with it and carrying on is updating the program.
Because we created a prediction error.
Because the brain expected that state equals danger failure disaster doom.
But instead it experiences that horrible state that we don't like in a drop perhaps but we're carrying on regardless we're not adding extra fear to it we're recognizing it's just a state so it's actually signaling safety and the fact that it's a temporary because we're allowing it.
And over time this leads to uncoupling.
The state no longer automatically produces the same meaning. It just won't. The brain has changed its programs it's updated its predictions its prediction will be ah we'll feel like this we know we don't like it but it's because we're re-regulating over the months and for most people years as we do this work.
And it starts to become just a bit unpleasant rather than something you really fall into and collapse into and believe and entangle with.
And that's the core of the process.
So you're not healing by changing your thoughts or God forbid trying to change your state.
I mean can you imagine you know all this stuff where you're trying to change your state you're in the drop.
>> [snorts and clears throat] >> You're risking interrupting it again you're trying to calm activation. No.
What you want to do is calm the ego's response to it which is to allow it and understand ah okay.
It's fine. I understand I understand I don't like it I understand it's not pleasant I understand it's intense but it's not dangerous.
And you can let the processes unfold unimpeded.
So not changing our thoughts not changing our states allowing it all and thereby healing by experiencing the old states in a new way without believing the old meaning and what the ego's going on in your head.
And the ego updates. Like I said it's it's completely biddable like a dog.
Do a new thing respond differently over and over and it'll go ah that's that's the new prediction that's the new program.
The role of the schedule protects the cycle you will not manage otherwise unless you are the most superhuman person on earth because without structure particularly if you're having very very deep drops very high activation you're not going to be able to just allow it unless you've got the backup allowing of the schedule.
Without structure people overdo it in activation. They withdraw excessively in the drop.
They fear their emotions in the landing phase and try and change them you know.
I feel a lot of grief I feel a lot of fear. Oh let's do a quick stop pattern drop and try and feel happy. No.
Feel it from a place that you know where it's safe. And they often chase calm in the harvest.
This constantly creates overshooting instability boom and bust this is this yo-yoing.
And you have no you are an absolute slave to your states and to your moods.
The schedule prevents this. Yes you're going to experience these moods in rotation round and round and round throughout this period.
But to not such an extreme extent and you have plans you can live within it because you know what you can do on your worst day when you're in a drop.
>> [snorts] >> It protects the drop from interference.
It prevents excessive activation allows landing to unfold safely so important landing and harvest and supports the phase of harvest the full integration where the cycle can complete and update.
Even if your capacity is tiny, the consistency is imperative because it teaches the system by repetition over and over and over and over again, all of these states can be lived through safely because we're carrying on regardless.
During this process, you will often feel emotions that do not correspond to your present circumstances, to your reality.
You will be livid with people. You will be full of rage at your own cat, for example.
Fear when you're >> [snorts] >> there's no ostensible danger.
Grief without loss.
Hopelessness that there's actually no need to be hopeless.
It's the previously held emotional material coming up to be processed.
Recognize it.
Just recognize that I am processing grief.
It's just raw sensation to be experienced and moved through cuz I couldn't grieve 20 years ago. I haven't been able to feel loss.
I haven't been able to feel anger. I haven't been able to feel fear. So now it's coming up. Do not try and solve it.
Do not try and fix it. Do not do anything about it. Do not engage into the narrative about it.
The brain will try and attach meaning to it. Will try and attach it to your current life. It will say, "It's the sensations in your body. This is the danger. Um I'm so angry because you looked at me funny or the cat mewed or I'm never going to get well or whatever."
It will try and find a cause to match the state. But the state is from the past. It is an echo.
It doesn't mean that what you're experiencing originates in the present.
It originates at the past.
So instead of asking you know practically, what can we do? Instead of asking "Why do I feel like this? What's wrong with me? Oh my god. Oh my god. I was doing so well." All that stuff when you're like Just ask, "Oh, what phase might I be in?" Oh, well I feel absolutely hopelessly suicidal and bleak and like this is never going to end. Drop. That makes sense.
Uh I feel and so on.
And this interrupts automatic identification with the state, with the thought, and allows awareness and allowing rather than fusion. You become the mirror that can see the reflection. You do not fall into the reflection. You do not reward symptoms, thoughts, beliefs with any kind of attention other than recognition that my brain's doing that.
That's my brain's opinion. Why? Because it's trying to comment the best it can on something from the past when it's his best guess. It's normal because my internal neurotransmitters, my body is going through processes which are creating states that of course create information coming into consciousness that the brain is trying to make conscious of.
Observation. Observations that are reaction.
Just allowing it to be there, witnessing it.
And this is where the system begins to update. This is a mind-body condition, a mind-body solution. We have to use the self-led mind to effectively >> [snorts] >> retrain the ego-led mind. And the ego we're retraining with the ego to step out the way so the self can do that because of course we don't directly have access to the self first of all.
Your mood is not a fixed reflection of your life. It is not real.
It is a passing weather pattern in your ecosystem.
It is a moving output, a throughput of a changing biological system, a nervous system that is trying to re-regulate after years of repression and override.
>> [snorts] >> And during our recovery, the system is regaining flexibility. We are beginning to feel again. The nervous system is re-regulating. To do that, it has to activate thousands of times.
So we don't interrupt it. We don't calm it. We let it activate and we recognize that certain states will be generated because of this process and we recognize what they are. They're unpleasant a lot of the time, but we don't have to suffer over them or believe them. So when we feel suddenly low, suddenly anxious, suddenly vulnerable, highly emotional, pause and recognize this is a state.
Not a conclusion. Not a reality. Not a not a a truth.
Not a problem to solve.
A state.
A state.
And when you allow that state without trying to calm it, without trying to fix it, without trying to interpret it, escape it, what have you, without trying to interrupt it and choose a different state, >> [snorts] >> without allowing the brain to attach old meanings to it gleaned from the past, you create the conditions for change. You create prediction errors and the brain naturally updates. The system no longer needs to protect you from the experiences you're now experiencing because they're now safe. And the fact that you're allowing that signals that.
And in time, everything will get quieter because you're no longer interpreting the normal states in the body, the normal experiences in the body, however intense they are, and they will be horrendously intense to start with, as dangerous.
They're not dangerous. Unpleasant, yes.
Dangerous, no.
>> [snorts] >> So really, stick to the schedule.
Recognize that these states are informing your thoughts and your moods.
And if we can do that, we can let the cycles complete over and over and let integration finally happen, probably which we haven't done for all these years, which is why is we have symptoms.
So really, listen to this again and recognize it.
And when you're in it, it's completely believable. Of course.
But story follows state. It's not actually true.
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