This video analyzes various social situations from r/AITA to demonstrate that judgment in interpersonal relationships should consider context, relationship duration, and personal boundaries rather than applying rigid rules; the content shows that people often misjudge others' intentions and that healthy relationships require mutual respect for individual choices and boundaries.
Deep Dive
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Deep Dive
Reddit's Biggest MeaniesAdded:
There's a subreddit called Am I the A-Hole where you can post something you did and let strangers on the internet decide if you were wrong. And if enough people say you are in fact wrong, you get labeled an a-hole publicly by the internet, which should be an almightily humiliating affair. And to be honest, I think a lot of the time they get it wrong on this subreddit. Or I don't know, maybe I'm an [ __ ] Probably the latter. But today, I'm going to be judging if these poor damned souls are actually big meanies or if they're actually just like not that bad. So, normally I pass my judgment with a gavvel, but I couldn't find it, so I've just got a hammer, put a hole through my desk or something, probably. Am I the [ __ ] for not attending my girlfriend's graduation? Am I the [ __ ] for not going to her college graduation? Now, before I get called out on just not wanting to go, I feel like I have a good reason. Before I met her, I signed up for an for an Iron Man race.
That's not a good reason. There's like a million Iron Man races you could do. Or is there? I don't know. I don't run. I have I have actual interests. The date landed on the same day of her graduation and we were reluctantly in agreement that I couldn't make it. I mean, the word reluctantly kind of tells me that you weren't fully in agreement. Well, fast forward, I got injured just before the race, which is in a few weeks. So, she thought that meant I would just cancel my trip altogether. Yeah, one would assume that. I told her I'm still planning on going to the race to support the other guys I've been training with for over half a year. I have a non-refundable house that I'm staying at, and I have family that moved around, work, and plans to be there for the race, but that you're not running in. I assume a lot of them are just not going to go. Long story short, I still plan on going to support my friends with my family even though I'm not racing anymore. In turn, missing the graduation ceremony. Does this make me an [ __ ] Yeah. And it since I did not make it clear we have only been dating 2 months.
Okay, that changes it. Like I know he said that he booked it beforehand, but I don't know. For some reason in my mind, this was like a serious long-term relationship. I tell you what, because you've been dating 2 months, you basically booked a holiday in advance.
You've only been dating 2 months. I am going to say you are not the [ __ ] Or maybe I'm an [ __ ] I don't know. We can be [ __ ] together. Maybe I'm the [ __ ] for getting mad at close friends for choosing another party over mine. I recently invite I mean that that's my worst fear. This is why I never throw any parties for anything. I never have birthday parties. I always opt to leave the country anytime it's my birthday because I'm always like I need to do something for my birthday otherwise I just get like depressed if if I'm just doing nothing on my birthday. So I always make sure I'm out of the country cuz it's either out of the country or throwing some kind of gathering. I don't want to throw a gathering. I hate organizing things and also I'm terrified of people just not showing up. I recently invited people to a house party for my 18th birthday. My entire friend group/b best friends told me they could not come as they agreed to go to another person's house party on the same date 2 weeks ago. I think that's kind of fair enough. I am putting a lot of money in DJ'S PER WHO HIRES DJs and performers for a house party. What? What they just put on like a Spotify playlist? Like the alcohol in house party situations do pretty much I mean maybe this is America. Maybe they're not actually having alcohol. This sounds very American, hiring performers for your performers for your 18th birthday house party. But like the alcohol house party should do the heavy lifting. They are not close with this person at all, but this person is quite popular, hence why they rather go to theirs. Okay, look, I think you're justified in getting mad. I I think your feelings are very valid in this scenario. They told me it's 50/50, but is it really? Doesn't the fact I am closer to you guys give me more value?
Again, they are not close with this person. This person would not give a [ __ ] or be offended if they if they said something came up and they couldn't come. I am not friends with this person simply because I have never met them.
This is as this person isn't in my social circle. Hence why we rarely see them and hence why it's impossible for my friends to reasonably worry about not going to theirs and for them to give a [ __ ] if my friends didn't come. Anyways, I hit them up saying how I felt sad.
Look, I think this guy's valid. Maybe Reddit is calling this guy an [ __ ] I mean, I say maybe they definitely are.
They've tagged it [ __ ] I don't so far I don't think this guy's an [ __ ] Don't know what that says about me as a person, but I don't. Anyways, I hit them up saying how I felt sad. They were like, "It's about being fair. You can't call it a 50-50 choice as I, a close friend of years, deserve your presence more than the other person." They were like, "We are sorry, etc., etc." In a soy voice. I hit them with a I know it's because so and so is popular.
Is this how dynamics work in the United States? Like, you just off your mate's birthday party.
I know. I mean, they're not buying it off cuz they did hear about it later, but like you refuse to go to your friend's birthday party because the popular kid invited you to their party.
That's hilarious. American social dynamics never cease to amaze me. And they were like, no, it's really not.
It's I was like, this is written horribly. I was like, in cases like this, who you said yes to doesn't matter. They got defensive, started raising their voice, saying it obviously does if we told her, promised her, got her excited about us coming and [ __ ] like that. But no, I don't think you are the [ __ ] I just I don't I think your your feelings are valid here. So, someone commented, "This is a good adulting lesson. Before you plan something, verify with the people you most want there the date, time, place is good for them if it's not." Yeah, I mean that's I mean it's a good learning lesson, but still I don't I don't think I think it's bit harsh to brand them the [ __ ] for feeling sad about something.
Am I the [ __ ] for raising my new roommates's rent? Here's the situation.
I moved into an apartment in 2021 with two roommates who had already been living there since 2020. The apartment is three bedrooms, one bathroom. Not as bad as it sounds. The shower and toilet are in separate rooms. She He's written this out as if it's three bathrooms and one bedroom. And is it a desirable area in the Bay Area? At their initial move in rooms were measured and the roommates decided the rent would be paid proportional to the room size. That's sort of fair maybe. I mean you you all get to share the communal spaces, but like I guess that's a good way of getting dibs on the biggest room.
Largest room equals 39%. Middle size room equals 33%. Smallest room equals 28%. These are all very similarly sized rooms. In 2023, the building we rent in was sold and the new landlord did not raise our rent. She did, however, remove native trees and the front lawn was put in parking to accommodate one car per unit, four units in the building. Okay, right, that actually makes sense. I'm not a fan of like removing trees and nature and stuff, but that sort of does make sense. At the time, none of us had a car in 2024. One of the roommates bought a car. We'd all become great friends by then, and they offered to share it. We all contributed money to maintenance and insurance and used the parking spot. The dilemma. One of the original roommates, the occupant of the smallest room and owner of the car, is moving out and taking the car. We are discussing the potential for a new roommate. I have proposed that if the new roommate has a car, they should pay $200 more in rent if they want to use the spot. This will reduce the rent of mine and the other existing roommate by $100 each. The other remaining roommate has very strong reservations because this money is not owed to us as our rent was never increased. Am I the [ __ ] for wanting to charge them more? I think so. I Yeah, I think I think so. Like you're just purposefully trying to rip them off. That you are the [ __ ] for that. Am I the [ __ ] for wanting to smoke up during my friend's birthday?
Male 26 here and I'm in a bit of a tussle. So a friend of mine, let's call him D. I've known D since sixth grade and I've been friends with him for like 15 years now. Only person close enough to me that I call a brother. He is turning 26 soon. So me, him, and one more friend decided to go to this local place where we can chill, play paintball, and do water sports for his birthday celebration. It's a two-day boys trip. The thing is, I have a habit of smoking weed. And I love how like like weed smokers use the word habit instead of addiction. Yeah. Am I like am I like the [ __ ] for being mad that my mate won't let me just [ __ ] rip a bong in front of him on his birthday? Am I the [ __ ] for that? I I I don't I'm not addicted. It's just like a habit that I quite like. I have a habit of smoking weed and D and the other guy don't do anything. Neither alcohol nor smoking. They are sober guys. Meanwhile, I like to smoke up and enjoy my time.
Yeah, I mean that's fair enough, but like don't force it on others. Like if other people don't want you doing that in the vicinity of them, you kind of don't have a right to be mad. But D specifically asked me not to smoke at all during the trip. So this is how the conversation went. D, by the way, don't smoke weed at all during the trip. Why?
Just don't cuz I'm saying so. If you have a problem with the smoke, then I would do it outside. Oh my god. Don't smoke for 2 days, man. Don't smoke weed for 2 days. If you have a problem with the smoke, then I would do it outside the room near a forest area away from you so the smoke wouldn't bother you.
No, I don't care. Just don't smoke at all. Yeah, cuz I don't I feel like it would impact the vibe of the of the gathering, you know? It it would impact that like if you're high all the time.
Why? I'm not doing it in front of you.
What's the issue? I just don't like you smoking. I don't like it. You can drink alcohol, but no smoking. I think that's fair enough. Then fine, I won't do it in front of you. Besides, I don't drink alcohol. Yeah, that shit's addict. That shit's so bad for you. Only disgusting beasts drink alcohol. I already told you not to do it. Don't argue cuz I'll get angry. So, you aren't my dad to tell me what to do. I'm a grown man who can do what he wants. I mean, you can, but it's just disrespectful to your mate and his birthday weekend or whatever. If you smoke up at all, even if it's not in front of me, I'll take it as your disrespect to me. Yeah, take it however you feel like. Just just don't [ __ ] either admit you're addicted to it or just don't do it. So, this is how it went. I don't get high and cause trouble. I like to enjoy things and I join in more. I don't get high and go to sleep. But for some reason, he don't budge and it's irritating me cuz what's the harm from me smoking? Am I the [ __ ] if I smoke up during the trip?
Yeah. Just don't do IT FOR TWO [ __ ] DAYS. YEAH, you're the [ __ ] It shouldn't even be a debate. Am I the [ __ ] for feeling offended when a girl covered her drink while I was talking to her? I'm not the most social person, neither am I the nicest guy, but I've been trying to get better at talking to people instead of just sticking with those close to me. There was a cute girl standing by herself for a bit. So, I went up, said, "Hey," introduced myself, just normal conversation stuff. Not long after I started talking, she took out one of those drink covers, the ones with a little hole for a straw, and put it on her cup. She didn't say anything, but it felt pointed, I guess. I don't know. I I don't think it's pointed at you necessarily. I mean, she doesn't know you. The fact is she doesn't know you.
She doesn't trust you cuz she doesn't know you. I think she's just exercising safety, you know, cuz like stuff like that does happen. I know that the whole thing is about people being careful with their drinks, but the timing made it feel like it was because of me. I mean, maybe, but like at the end of the day, like she doesn't know you. You could have been going up there to spike her.
You weren't. How's she supposed to know that? It kind of threw me off, so I didn't stay long. I just ended the convo after a minute and went to talk to someone else. I assumed she wasn't really comfortable and I didn't want to make it awkward. Later, she came up to me and asked me why I dipped like that.
I said I didn't think she wanted to talk, especially after she covered her drink right when I walked up. She got kind of annoyed and said it wasn't about me and that I made it weird by leaving.
That's the part that's confusing me and it wasn't about me. Fine. But at the same time, it felt like a pretty clear signal and a slap in the face. So, I backed off. Now, I feel like it was a damned if you do, damned if you don't situation. I mean, look, I don't I think this is one of those ones where it's like no one here is the [ __ ] like this guy like this guy's feelings are valid. He's he's he's okay to feel offended by something. The girl also definitely wasn't in the wrong. I don't think this guy's an [ __ ] I I just I think it's a neutral one. I don't think anyone's the [ __ ] Actually, you know, if if someone is to be the [ __ ] in the story, it is the guy. And I feel as though with this, there has to be someone who is in the wrong. So, yeah, guys, the [ __ ] I guess. Am I the [ __ ] for threatening to take a pet back to the breeder? Am I the [ __ ] for threatening to take my kid's hedgehog back to the breeder? Who gets the kid a [ __ ] hedgehog? My child, 13-year-old male, has been struggling at school. I've tried everything. This week I've gotten multiple emails from his teachers about rude and disrespectful behavior. He's not doing his schoolwork in class. He's been begging to be homeschooled. I feel as though like as a kid being homeschooled is like the dream cuz you kind of just imagine it as playing Call of Duty all day with your friends. But the thing is if you're homeschooled, you don't have many friends. I believe he thinks I'm going to be an easier teacher. I expect a lot more. I've been trying to find employment that would make it easier for me to homeschool. I'm a wit. And last year for his birthday, I took him to a breeder to get a hedgehog. I made him a deal that he buy the hedgehog and toys and I'll buy the food, bedding, etc. He worked mowing lawns for a couple of years to afford his new pets and had been consistent with wanting one. I made sure he researched the care of hedgehogs and asked him a lot of questions to make sure he was aware of the responsibility.
Now, like I said, I've tried everything.
I don't expect good grades, but I do expect effort. He simply doesn't care.
After this last email, I came home and told him that if he doesn't get his grades up and at least tries two Fs and a D by the end of the year, I will be calling the breeder to take the hedgehog back. He threatened to run away. My youngest 10 is threatening that he'll hate me forever and never speak to me again. I mean, look, I Yeah, I think you are the [ __ ] there. You can't threaten to take a kid's pet away. I can tell from this that this person wasn't going to take the [ __ ] hedgehog away.
But like, I don't know. Kids form a bond with I mean, as do adults.
>> Yeah, you can't you can't threaten to take your kid's pet away. friends take their Xbox away. I was like, "Not not that hedgehog." Am I the [ __ ] for saying my neighbors stuck? She reeks.
I've encountered this woman on the elevator multiple times. The first time, my mouth breathing instinct kicked in so fast I could barely process. Holy hell, what a smell. The second time I saw her coming and immediately exited the elevator lobby and went to the other.
Got the same whiff when I walked past her. I openly avoided her each time I saw her. One morning, she walked up behind me, blocking the lobby exit. So, I was stuck. As soon as the door closed, there it was. Much less pungent, but still, what the [ __ ] I couldn't take it anymore and muttered that she stunk.
Nothing else was said. It's very clear that she doesn't air out her apartment often or wash her clothes. Our units have a WD in them. What's that? What's a WD unit? Washer dryer should have been pretty evident. Our units have a washer dryer in them. I'm not sure why she doesn't use them. That's That's a mad thing about Americans. They just put all their clothes in the dryer. I'm a I'm a real stoogge for the labels. If it says don't put it in the dryer, I don't put it in the dryer. Americans seem to just bung everything in them. So, I'm not sure why she doesn't use them. She has a very cute chunk that Oh my god. [ __ ] She has a very cute chunk. Oh, you can't be using the word chunk to describe some kind of animal. Don't Don't call an animal a chunk. We're not in 2015 anymore. Let's not do that. Let's Let's remove that from uh your vocabulary very quickly, please. She has a very cute animal that she lets into the hallway.
It's the animal smell that's pre permeating her attire. Yeah. To be fair, like you ever meet someone who just stinks of a dog? Like it's not pleasant.
They just got a stinky dog and they smell of stinky dog. It's not It's not that. You still You shouldn't say you shouldn't go [ __ ] hell, mate. You stink. But like, oh, it's like, you know, have you just become accustomed to that smell? I saw her last night and this morning with some guy. She loudly whispers that I was the person who said she stunk. He looked at me an odd blank look. Not threatening, just blank. She gave me this wicked ass look. The kind that would make you question your safety if you cared. This person just doesn't give her a f. I was amused. I mean, I did say it. At least she didn't doesn't stink anymore. She should be great. I mean, to be fair, like, okay, look look, I'm a big advocate for tough love. If I stunk, I would want someone to tell me I stunk. Preferably someone that I know, not not just like a stranger or my neighbor or something. She doesn't stink anymore, which is I I'm guessing helpful in her life cuz look, I'm not a prejudice person. However, I am very prejudice against people who [ __ ] stink. Like, if someone [ __ ] stinks, I'm not going to hang around with them.
I'm just not I'm not going to want to spend prolonged amounts of time with them. They're an [ __ ] Okay, this person's an [ __ ] but they have done them a service. It was rude. It was rude. Don't get me wrong. It was rude. I mean, [ __ ] [ __ ] There's There's no way around it. They're the [ __ ] but the lady next door doesn't stink anymore. So, I think it's a win-win.
Would I be the [ __ ] if I don't return the espresso machine I got for free? My neighbor in my building posted that they have things they were giving away for free last week. I came by, got a few nice house plants and an espresso machine. A week later, the girlfriend or maybe now ex of the guy who was giving away the free things came to my door saying he wasn't supposed to have given those things away and asked for them back. I gave her back the house plants, but the espresso machine is at my work office. Would I be the [ __ ] if I didn't give it back? Yeah. Yeah, you would be. My roommate says the transaction has already been done. Yeah, but they're not a [ __ ] business, are they? Like, I guess you don't have to give it back. It wouldn't be theft, but morally you should give it back. But maybe it's wrong to keep it. My office mates are stoked on the new espresso machine. Should I give it back? Yeah, you are. You are the [ __ ] in this one. Am I the [ __ ] for not changing my dog's name? What on earth is going on here? After losing our Chihuahua Pomeranian mix to kidney failure, my 18-year-old girlfriend's family and I decided to get a new puppy. We went to the Humane Society just to look at the dogs. My dad, 52, I don't know why you need to give us your dad's age. This is who said we couldn't adopt any. After looking at the dogs, we found the tiniest little terrier mix and fell in love with him. His name is Nugget and he is 2 and 1/2 months old. My whole family fell in love with him, so we decided to adopt him. However, on the car ride home, my mom thought again, I don't I don't need to know your mom's age, suggested changing his name. My brother, again, I don't need to know all these people's ages. My brother and I like the name Nugget since it's silly and adorable. It isn't. I like the name Nugget. That's a good name. My mom argued that it would be tough to call Nugget. She and my dad are Indian immigrants. They started suggesting Indian names such as Cutaper and Aloo.
I've definitely pronounced those wrong.
I said no to naming him an Indian name since we live in the United States and it would be hard for vets, pet sitters, and groomers to pronounce his name. Fast forward to today and my mom is still pestering me about changing Nugget's name. I said no again because Nugget is a good name. My mom replied, "If I hate the dog's name, I'll eventually hate the dog." It sounds like your mom's the Why someone flagged this as you're the [ __ ] I said, "You chose to adopt this dog and you've been helping take care of him despite his name." And my mom then says, "If you won't change the dog's name, it will be a PERSONAL ATTACK AGAINST ME." I don't like the name Nugget. It is silly. It's a very silly name. If you don't change it, I'm going to feel very, very attacked. I really don't know what to do. I don't like any of the names my mom and dad suggest, but I fear that my mom won't talk to me if I don't change the puppy's name. Am I the [ __ ] SORRY. HOW ARE SO, HOW would the [ __ ] losers on Reddit flag this person as the [ __ ] No, you're not the [ __ ] I mean, it's your dog. My girlfriend family. Is this your girlfriend's family's dog? Are you related? My 18-year-old girlfriend's family and I. But your dad said you couldn't adopt. Do you have the same parents? What? This is written so badly.
This gives such a bad picture of this situation. But if it's your dog, if you're the one responsible for its care, if you paid the adoption fee, if you pay the vet bills and everything, it's your dog. You get naming rights of it. It doesn't matter what your parents think.
Why are people calling them the [ __ ] Oh, for [ __ ] sake. What is wrong with Cutuper and Aloo? I mean, nothing.
Neither is hard to pronounce and vets, etc. can learn. It's likely you and your brother off to college soon and then starting a life that won't be in your parents house. So, this dog you fell in love with will be 95% your parents don't let them pick it. Okay. Right. This is written so badly cuz if this is a situation where it's like it's the parents dog essentially, then yeah, you should let them name the dog. But if it's your dog, then you get naming rights. Maybe they're the [ __ ] I don't know. From the way I've read this, which is it's their dog, it's this person's dog. Then I don't think I don't think they're the [ __ ] But then again, if it is like the parents who are going to have to look after the thing, then yeah, they are the [ __ ] Am I the [ __ ] for asking my friend to help pay for my wedding dress? I mean, probably. It's not their wedding dress, is it? I got married a few years ago. My friend, let's call her Jen, is a professional tailor. When we told her about the engagement, she generously offered that that as a wedding present.
She would do pro bono alterations for not only my wedding dress, but my wife's as well. The wedding was scheduled for October 15th. My then fianceé and I separately went dress shopping in January. My fiance's dress was scheduled to arrive in June, and mine will come in late July. I checked with Jen to see if that time frame will work for her. She said yes. We started fittings in early August. I don't need to know the whole time table. I'm going to be so honest.
Okay, look, this is a [ __ ] I'm not reading all this. I don't care about the context. Whatever. But I don't know if on the surface you are making your friend pay for your wedding dress, you are the [ __ ] Boom. I'm going to trust Reddit's judgment on this one. Am I the [ __ ] for expecting my finances to not be discussed? I live with my girlfriend and we split rent and bills 50/50. I recently interviewed for a new job and found out today that I got on it. I told my girlfriend she messaged her mom and told her. Her mom messaged back saying how much more money I'd be on and and my girlfriend told her. Her mom messaged back saying that my girlfriend should be telling me to pay more of the bills now. [ __ ] off. My girlfriend mentioned this to me and she said she said she thinks her mom is right. I told her that her mom doesn't get to decide how we split the bills.
Very fair and I don't want her discussing my finances with her mom. My girlfriend said I wasn't being fair, but I just pointed out that it's none of her mom's business how we split our bills and she shouldn't be getting a say. My girlfriend said I was being unfair and harsh on my mom. No, you're not the [ __ ] What the [ __ ] Reddit's on a nuts one recently. How is that guy the [ __ ] Would I be the [ __ ] if I, 24 female, called my mother, 43 female, out on a cigarette addiction and stupid decision-making? As the title suggests, my wife is a cigarette smoker and has been a smoker since she was very young.
Unfortunately, I've been around a lot of cigarette smokers my whole life, which I absolutely hated. The smoke would make it extremely hard to breathe and the smell that's stuck in their mouth and clothes don't get me started. Anyways, for the last couple of years, I've been more on my mother to stop smoking or at least slow down. She smokes inside, which means my boyfriend can't come over often because he has asthma. It means our house smells like cigarettes. I mean, there's cigarette smell and ashes all over the place in the bathroom and a spot on the I mean, that is vile. That is absolutely disgusting. Cigarettes are expensive and we're poor as hell. She chain smokes cigarettes. Smokes them almost every time she uses the bathroom.
Smokes them each time we're in the car.
Even though everyone tells her not to.
She smokes them each time she walks the dog. I can go on. She's disabled but not on assistance yet. She gets money from my great aunt for rent/ to get by. And since I work, I help her out sometimes when I can slash want to. Gas prices are going up. We have three people in the house and only one of them, me, actually works. We have I don't need to know your life story. [ __ ] hell. We have three pets, but my mother prioritizes cigarettes all the time, no matter what.
To be honest, there are many examples of her doing this. But what ang me today and made me make this post was the fact that she ran out of toilet paper. I bought her a pack of cigarettes for mother. What a great gift for Mother's Day. I bought her a pack of cigarettes for Mother's Day and yesterday she had me buy her another pack. I woke up this morning to a roll of paper towels in the bathroom. Luckily, I use/ buy my own wipes, but I'm still angry due to her stupidity and cigarette addiction. So instead of giving me money yesterday for toilet paper and actual necessity, she decides cancer sticks were more important than basic hygiene. I'm so sick of it. I'm sick of the smell. I'm sick of the waste of money. And I'm sick of how she gets when someone says something to her about it. Would I be the [ __ ] if I called out her choosing cigarettes over toilet paper and telling her not to get her cigarettes even if she gives me the money anyway. I look I I again, as I mentioned earlier in the video, I am maybe not advocate, but like I respond very well to tough love. I feel like if I if I had like a bad habit or something like that and someone told me I was being pathetic for it, I would [ __ ] switch up immediately. Like someone I care about, not just like a random person. If someone I cared about told me like, "You're being like pathetic here. You need to lock in. You need to like kick this." I I would list.
So maybe I'm a bit biased here, but I don't think this person's the [ __ ] Like they live in basically a cigarette.
Like there's been so many cigarettes smokes in that house. They're basically living a cigarette. They're living in an ashtray is what I should be saying. How the [ __ ] are everyone in the comments is like, "She's an adult. You're an adult.
She can smoke if she wants. hassling smokers about not smoking while still buying themselves. Shut the [ __ ] up.
Based on the fact this person said that she's poor as hell means that she probably can't find a place of her own, so she has to live in this [ __ ] ashtray of a house. I'm going to say you're not the [ __ ] for being pissed off at that. Right below, I'm going to leave it there for this video. Like and subscribe or you're the [ __ ]
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