Explaining to Our Parents What it Means to be American

Added: 2026-05-08

[00:00:05]Welcome back everybody to another episode of the careful boys.

[00:00:09]Yo, what's like the weirdest thing that you had to explain to your parents about like American culture?

[00:00:15]Oh man.

[00:00:18]Um dude, this was hard but like I tried to explain to my mom. So like when I was a kid, I had Final Fantasy 1 on Nintendo.

[00:00:28]regular Nintendo.

[00:00:30]And she was the type of mom that would just pop in the room and be like turn that off let's go. And I'd be like I was like hold up. Like you got to save the game. You got to like I can't just stop. I'm like I got to get I got to get to a point where I can save it or else I got to start over.

[00:00:49]>> [snorts] >> And she's like what's that? We're going.

[00:00:52]And I'm like no no no. It's like I've been playing for like 2 hours. Like if you just turn it off now it's done.

[00:00:58]>> [laughter] >> It'll so off. Dude, she just does she's like doesn't care to hear my explanation that like no like every time I play this I'm starting from where I left off.

[00:01:08]Yeah. Like such a privileged kid right now. That's what I mean. It's so funny because I'm like she [laughter] bought me this [ __ ] Yeah. And I'm like I'm like what did you have to explain to your Asian parents about American culture? Dude like I've been playing games for hours and you have to save. I know I had to explain to her that you that there's like technology. I'm like you can save the game like save it. And she's like don't save let's go.

[00:01:31]>> [laughter] >> We must leave now. I'd like start just fighting I'd be like crying be like please no like please.

[00:01:37]>> [laughter] >> I worked so hard. Yeah.

[00:01:40]And every [clears throat] time she would just make me turn it off and I just like >> [laughter] >> I had to explain to my parents their idea of normal fashion isn't normal.

[00:01:52]So like they had this idea of what a proper boy should look like all that.

[00:01:57]And then they would show me [ __ ] Japanese magazines of like these kids in uniforms and they would buy me clothes and I'm like I'm going to get made fun of please. [laughter] I'm like my brother doesn't dress like that. He goes your brother's in college.

[00:02:08]Like you're in elementary school or whatever you can't dress like this. And then I'm so glad that like they actually noticed it themselves when they went to the mall. And then they they were actually looking at all the kids and and teenagers and they're like nobody dresses like Japanese kids.

[00:02:26]So then when they came back they're like okay we could go shopping but like you can't wear baggy pants and [ __ ] like that. I eventually got there but man that was a grind because I think in their minds everyone was like looking sloppy and wrong.

[00:02:40]Like American fashion was just like you're not wearing fitted clothes. The designs look stupid like how they let you dress like that going to school. And then I think afterwards they eased up.

[00:02:51]So I wasn't getting made fun of for the clothes that I was wearing. Dude, I had like kind of like a slightly opposite version of that where my dad was like the Boy Scout troop leader right? So like everybody knew you know we were in the Boy Scouts and everybody knew he was he was a troop leader and he always wore like these John Stockton style short shorts. Oh the 70s >> us to like 90s 2000s where like he was wearing shorts that was like damn near past your [ __ ] knee right? But my dad was wearing short shorts so I was the kid whose dad was wearing one of these like short shorts.

[00:03:24]He look he look looking like Lieutenant >> Yeah and everybody always make fun of him through me through him.

[00:03:30]>> Yeah. And it was just [ __ ] so embarrassing and Yeah wears Daisy Dukes.

[00:03:33]Yeah and I'm trying to explain like I'm like Dad can you please wear longer shorts? And he's like [ __ ] no he's not going to give a [ __ ] about he's like that's what shorts are supposed to be son.

[00:03:45]>> [laughter] >> Those are just long pants. You know like what the [ __ ] >> Probably thinks you're ridiculous cuz back then we they wanted shorts like here.

[00:03:53]We wanted them shorts all the way down.

[00:03:55]You didn't know you didn't know if there was yeah long shorts or short pants right? And it's just trying to explain that to your parents and just falling on deaf ears because it is stupid to try and convert them into long short wearing people.

[00:04:08]But like but it mattered so much because your friends are making fun of you for something your dad's wearing. It's the stupidest thing to [ __ ] be bullied about. It's a word funny though. Yeah and you're embarrassed but you're just like oh.

[00:04:21]But also I think in our era like it was either when you see old guys wear it but it's also children that wore it. So you imagine like it's like toddlers and old guys. No one in the middle wore it.

[00:04:32]>> Yeah with diapers.

[00:04:34]>> [laughter] >> I just realized I don't think I try to convince or try to explain to my mom what American life was because she's so [ __ ] crazy I just there's no chance so I just I think I just lived whatever she wanted. I think all the way up until the time where I really started putting my foot down was did I ever tell you about the time where I was living with Gio at someone else's house and she needed to pee and I said you can't pee at our house.

[00:05:05]>> [laughter] >> Did I tell you that or no? Wait I think you did tell us that.

[00:05:09]>> long story short me and Gio lived in Alhambra.

[00:05:12]We were like a a lot of like late 20s roommate situation kind of like friends or whatever. Everyone found each other on like roommate.com.

[00:05:21]And we were renting a room that's not my mom's house or whatever and then she was in the 626 area running errands and then she's like oh you know my son lives in the 626 I need to take a piss maybe I'll take a piss at his house. And then I was like no you can't take a piss. You can go down Valley there's tons of Chinese restaurants I'm sure they'll let you take a piss and it blew her brains.

[00:05:42]What? You mom I need to take a piss. You can't take a piss. What kind of son are you? You know? And then I was like no hell no that was my first time putting my foot down and then I think I had to explain to her cuz I feel like in the Chinese culture your whole lineage is just a relay race.

[00:06:01]It's just grandparents pass the baton down to your parents your parents pass the baton down to you you pass it down.

[00:06:07]So there's no identity everything is for your family name and all that and I think for the first time I'm like no this is I got to stop this [ __ ] where I'm living your life cuz you are unhappy living grandparents life grandparents was living unhappy. You know like I got to pursue my own life that's my responsibility and this is my own sovereign life.

[00:06:26]I like he's like I got to pursue my own life therefore you cannot No you cannot.

[00:06:31]This is symbolism for all the times you [ __ ] me over as a kid. You go pee [ __ ] at Garden Cafe.

[00:06:38]>> At A&W. Yeah. [laughter] And I think I had to explain that to her. And and then I think the next step to that was you know there's like this very uh Asian collectivist mindset where it's like everyone just does what the parents want. But then in the very western world your once you have a family that's your new nucleus. That's your family now and technically your mom is an outsider.

[00:07:05]So me trying to explain all these things to her it's like what? What the hell you mean I'm a outsider? You come from my you come from mommy's tummy come outside. You know? [laughter] And I'm like no this is it's going to be me it's going to be my wife my son.

[00:07:24]We're going to live life like this. You can either get on board and you'll be gladly assimilated into our life or if you want to live your [ __ ] crazy ass ways you're just going to be watching from the bleachers.

[00:07:38]Damn. But that's way later in life. Way later cuz I finally put my foot down whereas before it was like you go to Chilam Temple for spring break. And I'm like all right you know? You go be a monk for 2 weeks. I'm like [ __ ] all right.

[00:07:55]>> [laughter] >> You you never fought it? Like please take me to regular summer camp. There's nothing is you can't fight the feather duster.

[00:08:04]>> [laughter] >> So it was like that was her [ __ ] go-to.

[00:08:09]So I'm I just I just don't want to get [ __ ] up. I don't want to deal with this [ __ ] so I'll just go do it.

[00:08:15]And my mom has endless energy. So she could [ __ ] me up for hours.

[00:08:19]>> Damn.

[00:08:20]>> [laughter] >> Like I can't outlast her that's the problem. If she was one of those that was like spank you twice you know I'd be like I'll [ __ ] it I'll deal with it.

[00:08:28]>> parents got tired.

[00:08:30]>> She was lazy yeah. Yeah she'll whoop my ass until like 11:00 at night and I'm like god damn when is this going to [ __ ] end?

[00:08:36]>> Jeez.

[00:08:38]Yeah you have no shot.

[00:08:40]Yeah there's no shot.

[00:08:43]Is that even American culture or you just had to tell stand up to your mom? I know that's the thing it's like most of it >> It could be a very western culture in general.

[00:08:53]Standing up to your parents.

[00:08:55]Yeah. Yeah right cuz everything was so collective. It's definitely a western culture thing to when once you're an adult you get to set the rules including how your household works. Yeah.

[00:09:04]I remember trying to explain to my parents when they said no to me just doing summer basketball. Like you didn't have to be talented you just paid and then you could participate.

[00:09:15]>> Yeah like a basketball camp. But if you don't and like all your the friends it's not even your friends it's the people that you want to be friends with all of them are doing something and then you don't do it too it's like you don't get to be friends with the those people you know? So you're like please like you don't understand it's not just like about basketball it's like my my entire identity is on the line. You got to let me this just $220 for the summer and I get a uniform. That's pretty cheap.

[00:09:44]But that's what it was back then but that was so expensive back then though.

[00:09:50]>> [laughter] >> I'm not going to pay you to go do that when you come here you work for free.

[00:09:55]It's like you're paying me. But you know it's like, there's there's no point in me going to [ __ ] dick off and play basketball and not get an education because I want >> good deal for them.

[00:10:04]>> It's a social thing, right? But like, it's your whole world, it's your whole purpose and identity. Otherwise, you just feel like you're going in the next school year with like less friends, less memories, less skill, everything.

[00:10:15]>> Yeah, they go into the school year with hella rapport and you're and you're the outsider. That sucks.

[00:10:20]>> I know.

[00:10:22]But like, again, you're right, right?

[00:10:24]From from a parent's perspective, it's like, "No, dude, summer is the best time for us because now you're just going to work here."

[00:10:30][ __ ] dude, that sucks, man.

[00:10:33]My mom was telling me that like 10 years ago, she goes like she's like, "I had the hardest time like raising you guys, like me and my brother." Cuz she was like, "I didn't realize I was raising Americans."

[00:10:46]So, she's like, "You know, like when you grow like if someone grows up in a one culture country, everything is done one way." Yeah. So, she didn't grow up in diversity or anything. So, she didn't think how like different it would be to be in a different country. Like, she's like, "Oh, it's probably like a little bit different, but not like that different, right?" So, some of the stuff I think for her, like she had no reference of like how to even think this way.

[00:11:17]So, like some of the stuff that she it just went over her head or like she would ask her friends and they're like, "Yeah, our friend our kids are doing crazy [ __ ] too." But they're all Japanese, so they don't know that like they think it's a new generation thing, they don't know it's a culture clash thing. And then, so she was like, "I was hella naive to like not realize like I was raising a different culture." If my mom heard the conversations me and Taika had, I think it would blow her [ __ ] brains. Cuz Taika would be like, "Hey, Dad, do do I need to go to college?" You know, and I'll be like, "Oh, it's going to be your choice once it gets to that time." I think my mom would be like, "What the hell you mean his choice?" You know?

[00:11:55]>> [laughter and gasps] >> I think it would blow her [ __ ] brains.

[00:11:59]I'm like, "Yeah, yeah, it's going to be your choice, depends on what you want >> Probably blow her brains.

[00:12:04]That we even talk like that. Does she even know that you guys have like a safe space for each other where he could just speak the truth and not get in trouble?

[00:12:11]Yeah. Until she finds out how it's inspired. "Hey, Mom, remember how you told me if I tell you the truth you won't hit me? But I told you the truth and still beat my ass." I don't do that.

[00:12:19]>> [laughter] >> She reneged on the deal. That sucks.

[00:12:26]>> Yeah, she's like, "Trust me, if I tell my me and my people going to be okay."