In Search of a Lost Culture

Added: 2026-06-01

[00:00:00]Happy Asian American Native Hawaiian and Pacific Islander Heritage Month, uh the end of it at least. I'm not really sure if I should call this video in celebration or in honor of my heritage as a Filipino American because despite my love and pride for my culture and background as a Filipino, I don't have much of a connection to my heritage. Most of it has been [music] lost. And you might be asking, "Lost how?" Well, if you didn't know, lost to over 300 years of colonization and years of assimilation into American culture.

[00:00:25]Let's get into some quick-fire facts about the Philippines. The Philippines was colonized under Spanish rule for over 300 years. 333 years to be exact.

[00:00:32][music] And by the time Filipinos were striving for independence from Spain, Spain ceded the rule over the Philippines over to the US. [music] And for another 48 years, the Philippines was colonized once more by the US. In the midst of that colonization from the US, we were invaded and seized by Japan during World War II. It wasn't until after World War II and the US re-seized the Philippines from Japan did the US finally grant the Philippine Islands independence. However, they did not leave without first renaming the islands to the Republic of the Philippines. And so, for close to 400 years, Philippines has been colonized resulting in a mass loss of cultural heritage. Histories that can never be recovered due to the lack of written records, the erasure of native names, religions, social construction, and so on and so forth.

[00:01:08]This should be obvious, but I am in no way a Philippines historian. I'm only relaying facts that I have learned from my AA and HPI's [music] classes and from what I have learned from my own research out of curiosity. So, for that reason, I welcome any and all facts, histories, corrections in the comments. Anyways, the obvious answer to hundreds of years of colonization would be that most of Philippine history, traditions, cultures, and our overall identity has been lost. We had our own set of gods and goddesses, our own origin story, our own systems and norms. All of these and more had their own stories rooted within our islands. But most of all, if not all, was taken away and replaced with a self-proclaimed even better system.

[00:01:41]Then, when your family moves to a far-away land in hopes of an alleged American dream, but really it is the erasure of the identity and culture of an individual in the name of assimilation, you lose a part of yourself. So, not only do I feel lost in where I stand culturally, I can't even speak my own native language. Like many of my Filipino brothers and sisters online, our native language was never passed down to us. Because of this, I feel doubly lost, like a part of me was taken away from me when I didn't even have it in the first [music] place. Then you grow up in a family that shames you for not being able to speak or understand your native language, and you feel even more alienated from your own culture. You grow up never truly understanding the importance of where you come from. I would speak a lot more on language, but the gist of it is that language is, quote, "not [music] merely a passageway to knowledge. Language is a form of knowing itself." Yes, I am directly quoting from a section of a book my professor assigns me, but only because this history means so much to me. For anyone interested, the book is called From a Native Daughter by Haunani Kay Trask, which is about the abuse Native Hawaiians endured throughout the history of their colonization. But this quote, even out of its context, stands [music] true as an overall statement to colonization. When you remove the value of language in the name of colonization, you remove the value of the native people themselves, of all their history and its significance to their culture.

[00:02:48]Actually, much like Native Hawaiians, Native Filipinos also relied heavily on language as a part of keeping their history alive. Oral tradition was a passageway to knowledge. The artist's storytelling throughout all 100 spoken languages in the Philippines was their way of passing down beliefs, values, and history. But in essence, it was a preservation of cultural identity. And like many cultures that already had their foundation set, and who knew who they were, colonization took most of it away from us. Although our old histories and languages have been lost in the winds, that doesn't mean we've lost everything. Asian Americans, Native Hawaiian Pacific Islanders all alike have a culture of preservation and endurance under the strength of community. One of my favorite images of the community in the Philippines is how the people gather together to manually move a house. And this is called bayanihan. I don't know if I'm pronouncing that correctly, honestly.

[00:03:31]Even in the face of disaster, the community still comes together to help one another. And even though I lack having this type of community where I live and how I've grown up, I find strength in knowing I have a community of my people in this same battle to preserve our cultures and identities, and how we empower and educate the erasure of AA and NHPI histories from our textbooks. Because when I think of how much my family has been Americanized, it makes me so sad [music] thinking of such a beautiful culture I'll never get to properly experience.

[00:03:56]For example, Sinulog is a week's long festival that is celebrated in the Philippines and one of the only few festivals I know and have experienced.

[00:04:03]But when I think about how this festival is in celebration of Catholicism that was brought upon due to colonization, it doesn't really give me that sense of belonging. Also, because I have a really complicated relationship with Catholicism due to my strict religious upbringing. My family is extremely homophobic and they're constantly trying to work around the word gay just so we can continue to keep the peace in my family. They're not aware of how I identify, but I mean just look at me.

[00:04:25]Side note, just look up queer mythology in the Philippines. Pre-colonization, was gay as hell. Anyways, family is such an important value in Filipino culture which coincides with being so community centered. So it doesn't help how I feel so disconnected from my family. At the same time, family is all I've ever grown up learning the importance of, but I just want to leave and it's so complicated because I'm stuck in between just wanting to run away, but also the need to stay.

[00:04:49]But that's another story for another day I fear. The lack of language, the lack of communication, the complicated relationship I have with family as a value, the lack of community, the lack of belonging, the lack of it all has pushed me into state of an identity crisis so many times. Really, the only thing keeping me together is learning and educating myself on AAPI histories.

[00:05:08]Doing my own research on my people and culture because the source itself is unreliable and Americanized. And another thing, writing my own stories. This has been my way of staying as closely connected as possible to my identity. My characters are queer and Filipino and I hold that dearly to my heart because like many BIPOC, we lack media where people like us are properly represented.

[00:05:28]And so I had to take it upon myself to represent myself in my own way. Their stories will be saved for another day because if I go on without my friend self, she will surely beat me up. So onto more important matters because it involves some of you guys. I posed a question on YouTube, what is one or more ways you preserve/keep your culture alive? A very important question because it is very difficult to retain your cultural identity in America. What with all the continued discrimination and obvious hate crimes done to any persons of color, on top of the concepts of Americanization and erasure of AANHPI histories. Culture is more than important to a group or individual. It is quite literally their way of living and knowing, and how they go about the world around them. For me, as I mentioned, it's creating stories and characters that represent my culture and identity. Now, onto your responses. What is one or more ways you preserve / keep your culture alive? Examples: speaking your native language at home and just burping.

[00:06:19]>> [laughter] >> Sorry. And if you guys want to share yours, too, after I read these. But this first one says, "I love being Polish. It was my first language I learned and I still speak it with relatives and anyone else who knows it. I love to call my family in Poland and I'm even surprising them by visiting during the summer with my sister. I incorporate Polish flower design into some everyday outfits, sometimes subconsciously. Keep up with the traditions. I'm not Catholic anymore, but I still do vigilia with family because it's a Christmas tradition and I love the food. And recently, I've become obsessed with Rutiger Metro elements and adding them into art and they remind me of Polish flower designs." I like that. I especially like the Polish flower design, too, that they keep mentioning.

[00:06:57]It's all the little things that remind you of your culture. That's cute. This one says, "Helping out at my local museum. Preserving the history of your culture or community, {parentheses} especially if it's very localized, is super important, super easy, but needs support to happen." I didn't even think of like museums. Like to preserve stuff?

[00:07:13]Yeah, and in preservation of culture.

[00:07:15]>> Yeah. There's I mean, yeah, yeah.

[00:07:17]There's a lot of people that are like consultants and stuff, too, for I feel like that would be such a good way to connect. Like learning learning stuff about your history and being being able to be one of the people preserving your history. Okay, this next one. I'm Salvadoran, so I learned Spanish and English alongside each other as I grew up. And though I used it regularly, I felt like I was lacking fluency. So, I ended up taking like 4 years worth of Spanish classes. Even then, I didn't feel proficient enough until I started using slang and cracking jokes. I think something that has helped me gain confidence and identity in my culture is learning our history as a nation and just hearing the myths and childhood stories of those who have lived there.

[00:07:52]Of course, if possible, visiting the country itself definitely helps a lot.

[00:07:55]>> Yeah, because there's a there's a whole different slang from learning like Americanized I'm assuming Americanized Americanized Spanish versus like going to El Salvador itself and then learning the Spanish there.

[00:08:05]>> Yeah. Oh, it's like way different.

[00:08:07]>> Way different.

[00:08:08]>> Especially especially if you're in America, that's where you like get like Spanglish from. It's like you get a little bit of every single person's Spanish because all Latin American countries have their own Spanish their own version of Spanish. So then if you just learn Spanish in America, you learn well, mostly you learn like Mexican Spanish, but Mhm.

[00:08:28]I I mean depending on where you are. In California, that's where you would learn Mexican Spanish, but it you know, depending on the area, you learn different versions of Spanish, too. So it's never really like I guess as authentic as it could be to your culture unless you make the effort to learn your specific dialect >> Spanish, I guess. Yeah. And that's where like the slang and stuff helps connect especially. Mhm. Because it's like, oh, now I can like be cheeky and stuff with like the cashier. Yeah. Next one. For me, it's consuming a lots of local music. That's why my main music preference is original Pinoy music and Pinoy pop. Like SB19, Ben&Ben, uh Alamat, G22, etc. Another one is learning how to write in in ancient script and like Baybayin. Bay- I can't I don't know if I'm pronouncing that right. I really want to learn it, too. I I also love listen I love I freaking love Pinoy pop because it has it's it has like it's a different type of soul into it. Like you can like you can feel it, but like >> No, I can relate to it, too.

[00:09:27]>> Yeah, but like you just feel it on a different level. Yeah, cuz [laughter] you're you're um you're Mexipino, bro.

[00:09:33]I'm Filipino.

[00:09:34]I'm Filipino.

[00:09:34]>> You're we're basically cousins, bro. But yeah, there's um it's cuz there's >> be Mexican? We're Mexican.

[00:09:40]>> We're all Mexican.

[00:09:42]And that means we're all Filipino.

[00:09:44]You're Filipino. I'm Filipino.

[00:09:47]>> [laughter] >> But, anyways, yeah, um there's I really want to learn the ancient script, too, because the I think the one they mentioned is specifically for the Tagalog language, and I want to learn the one for Cebuano language cuz that's where my family's from. Okay, I know I'm going to pronounce this wrong, but eating poutine and listening to podcast/channels in Quebec and then more about their the politics, yeah.

[00:10:07]>> Bro, I'm sorry. I tried poutine. It was I was I was not a fan.

[00:10:12]I thought >> [laughter] >> I thought I thought I thought it's fries, gravy, and cheese and cheese curds. It's a Canadian thing, but I thought I would be such a fan of it cuz I was like, "Bro, fries, cheese, bro, that sounds like that sounds freaking bomb." And maybe it's just the place that I got it from cuz I don't I don't >> have been, yeah. remember where I tried it. Yo, you know what? It is definitely the place that I got it from.

[00:10:36]>> [laughter] >> I think I got it from like a Red Lobster.

[00:10:39]Oh, hell no, girl, that is not authentic.

[00:10:41]>> [laughter] >> THAT IS NOT AUTHENTIC.

[00:10:45]THAT'S NOT AUTHENTIC. [laughter] I I'M LIKE, I THINK I GOT IT FROM A Red Lobster that me and my cousin were just eating.

[00:10:53]>> [laughter] >> I I was going to be like, "Oh, that's fine because like I I was going to be like, "That's fine."

[00:10:58]Like, I know your food your um what is it? Your food palate is like is a little different than ours. So, I was just like, "Oh, maybe like they just it the texture wasn't their favorite." No, it's not even authentic, bro. No, but I also thought I just like I'm not a fan of gravy, which is like what they have on it.

[00:11:13]>> Yeah, but you tried it. I think that's what matters. I think you should also try authentic poutine first >> [laughter] >> before you make a decision. Anyways, uh this one says, "Celebrating traditional occasions uh teaching younger ones Holy let me reread this. Celebrating traditional occasions, teaching younger ones the language, and cooking your local food a lot." What's like a one of you guys' favorite local foods? Uh Taco Bell.

[00:11:36]>> [laughter] [laughter] >> I can't I freaking love me some Taco Bell. Yeah, I mean taco trucks. Yeah, I guess.

[00:11:47][laughter] Anyways, what about you guys?

[00:11:50]>> to the freaking authenticity of her freaking Baja Blast >> [laughter] >> I can't with you guys. There's really nothing that can freaking top that. And the freaking Jack in the Box >> [laughter] >> tacos.

[00:12:04]Ew. Ew, I've never even tried that, but ew. Dude, they are the nastiest things ever [laughter] and I remember my high school Spanish teacher would talk about loving the Jack in the Box tacos so much. He said He said every time he goes there, he gets a little thing of like I think it was like six tacos or something. I tried them because he was hyping them up so hard. They are so nasty. They're like simultaneously the driest thing and then you like hit the center and it's like the wettest thing. [laughter] It's like so gross.

[00:12:38]Okay, last one. Last one. As a biracial white plus Indian person, I like listening to this New Delhi metal band called Bloody Wood and eating Indian food among other stuff. But also my Indian parent was raised by a white woman, so I'm pretty disconnected from my culture. Aw, and you're connecting it in like in some other way that you can.

[00:12:55]So, that I can relate to that disconnect. What about >> I think I think just living in America, it always feels like you're kind of being raised by white culture and stuff like that obviously that's like the predominant like That's the point too of like American culture.

[00:13:10]What do What about you guys? What's yours? Eating Mexican food.

[00:13:14]>> Yeah. Hell yeah, dude.

[00:13:17]>> [laughter] >> Um the way I preserve my culture is by yelling at my children and >> [laughter] >> and making them feel worthless.

[00:13:31]Traumatize your children. Traumatize the children and >> [laughter] >> I have to I have to make them feel how I felt. No, I'm just I'm just freaking joshing, bro. I don't have children. I don't have children, so I can't traumatize them yet. No, I feel like just talking with family, trying to build connections to hopefully be able to stay in touch with family and stuff like that. I think that's the biggest way. Because I think especially for Hispanic people, I mean, well, I think it's just like literally anyone besides white people.

[00:14:02]>> [laughter] >> It's like family is like such a huge part of your cultural like upbringing, I guess. So, I aim to hopefully still be able to connect with like all my cousins and stuff. Maybe not my aunts and uncles.

[00:14:20]>> [laughter] >> Because some of them deserve to never freaking speak again.

[00:14:23]>> Okay. Yeah, I mean, Fair. I think that's why I also tried so hard to still be close to like Well, well, like with with Candy and like our other cousins, I don't want to freaking end at like my aunts and uncles.

[00:14:39]Well, I think it was easy for them because they lived in like a rancho, like a valley and stuff like that, where basically everyone lived like freaking right next to each other. But now, obviously, we're in the US, so it's we're more spread out and stuff like that. So, aiming to keep connections is like the biggest way that I try to preserve culture and stuff.

[00:14:59]>> I like that. That's good. I I cuz I'm I'm trying to do the opposite. I'm trying to get as far away as possible from my cousins.

[00:15:05]>> [laughter] >> Well, for good reason, I think.

[00:15:09]What about you, Kyle? Well, I feel like we're my ethnicity, we're like an ethnic minority.

[00:15:14]>> Yeah. So, a lot of like the traditions and stuff are kind of, you know, diminishing and immigration, like there's not of people all over the world. Like some like immigrated to like Canada or like Australia. So, I feel [clears throat] like a lot of like the these places that they immigrated to, feel like that also is all being like incorporated to Mong culture.

[00:15:39]I would say that like even for like Thanksgiving or Christmas, like the part like it becomes very almost like Americanized. Like we still have like the same like foods that we eat from our culture, but celebrated during like an American holiday or whatever. I don't know. I would say just I would agree with Josh, just communication and keeping the connections. But like also just like doing the research, I guess, about, you know, at least for me, I didn't really know much about my culture until I actually researched it.

[00:16:08]So, kind of just like learning about like your ancestors and stuff and what they did before they migrated. It's like, "Okay, now I know like this is why I am here."

[00:16:17]>> Yeah, I learned I learned a a bit about the Mong people in my Asian Americans class. It's just annoying. Yeah, it's just annoying. Well, annoying is an understatement, but like it's just frustrating that they're the most erased. I mean, like not to not to put it Asians in a on a hierarchy. I think especially in American culture, they were the ones that were most left behind. What I learned was that like the CIA recruited them under a secret >> for a secret mission.

[00:16:42]>> Yeah, a secret mission. And then when they immigrated to the US thinking like, "Oh, they're going to help us because we helped them." We didn't help them back.

[00:16:48]And so it's it's like kind of hard to like keep your culture alive when you you just like were forced to erase it in order to survive cuz everything is just so different in America. Yeah, I saw something not too long ago where like Mong veterans were barely being recognized for their efforts during the mission. So, it it was just crazy to be like, "Wow, like these things still come up." Like we are still trying to like not fight, but I guess like push for like visibility within media and like history. Anyways, thanks you guys.

[00:17:19]>> [laughter] >> Thanks for Thanks for uh reacting with me.

[00:17:22]Again, thank you so much to those who responded. And also big thanks to my friends for reading those with me and sharing your own ways of preserving your culture. I know at the beginning of the video I said I wasn't sure to call this a celebration of my culture, but I truly am proud to be Filipino. Even if it means having to be in search of it for my whole life. I've dedicated myself to a life of learning. So the same will apply to my Filipino heritage and ancestry. Celebrate your culture big or small. And if you're still in search of it like me, we'll be in that fight together to continue to preserve ourselves and our histories and more.

[00:17:53]Fun fact, did you know that the term Asian American was not coined until 1968 and it was coined by students? It was during the time when student-led activist groups organized a strike called the Third World Liberation Front Strike at UC Berkeley and San Francisco State University in a battle to add ethnic studies to the university curriculum. They created the term Asian American as a collective term of solidarity to replace derogatory labels previously imposed through colonization to create unity for all Asians in the United States. Not only were they fighting for Asian American studies, but they were also fighting for Chicanx studies, Mexican American studies, and black studies to name a few. When a community comes together, they are going to fight to the bitter end. And they are continuing to fight this battle. Thank you guys so much for letting me nerd out a bit. I just love learning, okay? And I love telling people about what I learned. Anyways, I'll see you all next time.