Black Dinner Backlash, Ray J Knocked Out and Kevin Hart Gets It Wrong

Añadido: 2026-05-30

[00:00:00]Backlash for someone doing something simple and backlash for someone being simple. We going to get into it. Let's get it.

[00:00:20]Welcome. First of all, welcome. This is Unsolicited Perspectives. I am your host Bruce Anthony here to lead the conversation and important events and topics [music] that are shaping today's society. Join the conversation and follow us wherever you get your audio podcast. Subscribe to our YouTube channel for our video podcast, YouTube exclusive content, and our YouTube membership. Rate, review, like, comment, share. Share with your friends, share with your family. Hell, even share with your enemies. On today's episode, it's the sibling happy hour. I'm here with my sis J'Andrea. We going to be dillydallying a little bit. Then we're going to be talking about some race issues cuz I mean there's that. And then we'll be talking about classic black family sayings. But that's enough for the intro. Let's get to the show.

[00:01:15]What up, sis?

[00:01:16]>> What up, brother?

[00:01:17]>> I can't call it. I can't call it. Uh I'm going to do a little detour at the start.

[00:01:23]>> Okay.

[00:01:24]Isn't that what we all Is that the point of dillydallying?

[00:01:27]>> No, well well, yes. Dillydallying is just a constant detour, but this is a detour to you in your personal life.

[00:01:35]>> Okay.

[00:01:36]>> Man, I swear you can't win for losing when it comes to your damn house. You cannot win for losing.

[00:01:44]We almost might need to start a GoFundMe.

[00:01:47]Not GoFundMe, GoFundMe you for you and everything going on with your house. First of all, before you came out cuz you know you out here even though you're still not doing it in a person. Whatever.

[00:02:01]You came out here before you left, you was like my ceiling in my basement fell.

[00:02:06]And I was like, wait a minute, what?

[00:02:07]There's a hole in your floor? No, that's not what happened. But can you explain to the people what's going on?

[00:02:13]>> Yeah, I went to go do some laundry, so I went into the basement.

[00:02:18]Look, and the ceiling was on the floor.

[00:02:22]I don't know how else to say that. You know, it is funny because I say that and you're like, there's a hole in your floor? No. If the if there was a hole in my floor, like I would have said my house collapsed. That's what I would have said.

[00:02:37]>> But that wouldn't have been true. Once again, that would have been an exaggeration as well, because your house would not have collapsed.

[00:02:45]>> A room would have at least collapsed into the basement, yes.

[00:02:51]If that part of my if that part of the ceiling What happened is the drywall fell, but if that part of the ceiling, if there was a hole the room would have fallen into the My guest room would have fallen into the room. Yeah.

[00:03:05]>> Okay.

[00:03:06]>> Pretty much.

[00:03:07]>> I don't believe that's how that works.

[00:03:09]>> You know, I'm prone to hyperbole.

[00:03:12]>> Yeah.

[00:03:13]>> Uh but yeah, now the thing is because it's a week straight of storms in Atlanta, and apparently there's a windstorm catastrophe that they declared.

[00:03:24]>> Mhm.

[00:03:25]>> But now uh my roof is leaking.

[00:03:28]>> Mhm.

[00:03:28]>> Right into the kitchen. Just rain raining into my kitchen. So, that's nice.

[00:03:34]Um that I'm not there for that. Uh so, yeah. I got a lot of fun things waiting for me uh when I get home.

[00:03:42]>> You know, I swear I remember dating this woman and she was like, why don't you have a home?

[00:03:49]And I was like, it's not like I can't afford one, but I legitimately don't want the stress. I know so many people that have homes. One of my friends said they had to get their windows replaced in the house. And I was like, oh, okay. Well, I mean, that don't seem like that's a big deal. You probably just go get a couple windows and and be He was like, "No, that's like with three grand." I said, "For some windows?"

[00:04:11]>> Yeah, and that's probably that was probably only maybe one or two windows.

[00:04:17]>> I I don't know you >> all your windows replaced, it's it could be tens of thousands.

[00:04:22]>> Now, that don't make no sense. I'll go to a whole Depot and buy the windows myself.

[00:04:27]>> You don't know how to install a window.

[00:04:30]It's going to be drafty as hell in your house.

[00:04:33]>> It's [laughter] going to be I get >> It's going to be drafty as hell in your house. It's going to be wind whistling all through the cracks and crevices because you don't know how to install a window.

[00:04:43]>> No, but Macaroni Tony do, and I will go get Macaroni Tony in a minute. Look, I tell people all the time, they're like, "My dream is to own a home." And I look, I'm not going to shoot down your dream.

[00:04:56]You should absolutely have that dream.

[00:04:58]That's a beautiful dream to have.

[00:05:00]Just make sure that you buy less house than you actually need cuz you're going to need that extra money because something's going to break. Let your H-Vac Let your H-Vac break down.

[00:05:10]>> Oh, it has before.

[00:05:11]>> Let your air conditioning just shut down.

[00:05:14]>> Oh, it has for several several summers.

[00:05:17]>> [laughter] >> Yeah.

[00:05:21]No, that does happen. Yeah.

[00:05:23]>> Look, uh-uh, uh-uh, no.

[00:05:26]>> that's happened twice. Uh various things, but my house was originally built in the '60s, and the people I purchased it from, and I know everybody's like, "You should sue."

[00:05:40]I don't think I can do that because I purchased the home.

[00:05:43]Uh I signed the paperwork, it's mine. Uh but they put it they did a renovation, and they put it together with spit and bubble gum. And I have sunk tens of thousands just to get basic things working in the house. So, uh, but I love my home. I do.

[00:06:03]>> I I love your home. Your home is dope. I mean, for the audience, a lot of people don't know this, that there was some serious talk of me moving down to Atlanta >> Mhm.

[00:06:14]>> at the beginning [clears throat] of this year. I backed out of it only because for some strange reason the vortex of Washington, D.C. just won't let me leave cuz I've tried so hard over the last 30 years to leave this area.

[00:06:29]I've I've was going to move to California. I was going to move to California. I was I did live in Baltimore for a hot second, right? I was going to move to Hawaii. I sold all my stuff and was planning to move to Hawaii.

[00:06:44]>> Yeah.

[00:06:44]>> And and then now I was seriously thinking about Atlanta, but uh, I love your home. Your home is is dope. So, I'm not knocking your home. I'm just saying >> It is home ownership is a lot of work.

[00:06:55]The trade the trade-off is it's one of the uh, like most common ways to build generational wealth is with home ownership in this country. So, the trade-off it ends up being worth it.

[00:07:14]>> Mhm.

[00:07:15]>> But, uh, day-to-day, like just boots on the ground, yeah, it's it's hell.

[00:07:23]>> Yeah, it's good and terrible.

[00:07:24]>> It's good and terrible.

[00:07:25]>> Good and terrible. You know what else is uh, good and terrible?

[00:07:28]>> What's that?

[00:07:29]>> Ray J.

[00:07:31]>> Boy, oh boy.

[00:07:32]>> Ray J ha- Somebody pointed out that Ray J has is been like the Forrest Gump of hip-hop culture because he's always been in the mix of something that is popular.

[00:07:46]>> I I I don't know that aside from Raycon headphones.

[00:07:52]>> Love & Hip Hop?

[00:07:55]>> Okay, I don't know that he was like central >> Rappers and hip-hop artists getting on television?

[00:08:03]>> Sure, yeah. He was >> He's been influential in a lot of people's careers.

[00:08:09]>> Like >> Yeah. I mean, the Kardashians owe all of their wealth >> Yes.

[00:08:15]>> to Ray J.

[00:08:16]>> Yeah.

[00:08:17]>> But, that's not the reason why I bring up Ray J. Ray J got knocked out.

[00:08:22]>> He did.

[00:08:22]>> He got knocked out.

[00:08:24]Uh he got knocked out uh at Las Vegas at a celebrity MMA event promoted by Aiden Ross. Look, we don't have a lot of good things to say about Aiden Ross.

[00:08:34]Just going to leave that the way it is.

[00:08:36]His opponent was a YouTuber called Super Hot Fire, whose real name is, get this, Dwayne DeShawn Stevenson.

[00:08:46]>> Yes.

[00:08:47]>> They they had a lot of That's a lot.

[00:08:50]>> Yeah. [snorts] >> And the finish came in the second round after a clean shot left Ray J unable to continue. The referee stopped it. Ray J went down near the ropes and the whole thing was over pretty fast. What made this more than just a celebrity fight result is the context surrounding it.

[00:09:04]Ray J had been publicly talking about how he had serious health issues in the weeks leading up to the fight, including suggesting that he might not live long.

[00:09:13]People seem to forget he was just in the hospital just a few months ago on some for real stuff.

[00:09:19]>> Yeah. Okay, so then why did he act like he was forced to do this? Like, why did he then do it?

[00:09:28]>> So, I'll get into that in a minute, but so when he showed up in Las Vegas arena to take punches, people had questions before the first bell even rang because of his health issues. Then after the knockout, Ray J grabbed a mic and hinted that something about the fight may have been planned before walking that back almost immediately. That comment alone turned a sports story into a conspiracy conversation. He was later taken to a hospital for evaluation with concerns about a possible concussion and he already had issues with his heart. Now, why was he there?

[00:10:00]Made a commitment.

[00:10:02]>> Yeah.

[00:10:03]>> You Somebody promotes you uh Aiden Ross and his brand risk promotions they put this thing together.

[00:10:09]He's the booker. He's the booker man.

[00:10:11]Even if you got a serious illness, people promoted you they didn't make money off you you got to show up.

[00:10:16]>> Yeah.

[00:10:17]>> You might be liable.

[00:10:20]>> Yeah.

[00:10:22]It wasn't It didn't look good. I mean honestly I didn't watch the whole fight.

[00:10:26]Uh I didn't know the fight was even happening.

[00:10:29]Uh no idea about any of it.

[00:10:32]But uh of course the knockout in question has circulated uh on social media and >> got his ass knocked out. That That was pretty sad and and he was loopy. Now he said that there was a plan I guess because this wasn't just a boxing match.

[00:10:51]It was an MMA fight which last I checked everybody can watch that video Ray J.

[00:10:59]He ain't trained not a little bit cuz his gut was >> look Yeah so when you were talking about him having health issues I was like well that was apparent because you you could look at him and tell that he was not ready for this fight health wise whatsoever.

[00:11:19]>> I mean he has not looked good when he did that versus where he was really drunk and he had his shirt off and I've never seen somebody with that type of body take their shirt off so much. He's not young Ray J anymore and that gut is crazy.

[00:11:38]>> Yeah.

[00:11:40]>> But that knockout was legit. He got rocked.

[00:11:45]>> Yeah, you can see there are plenty of uh videos that kind of freeze frame on his face and uh you can see he his eyes aren't fixed on anything. He got He got knocked out.

[00:11:58]>> He was gone. I think this kind of brings me to a larger question.

[00:12:04]Because we're seeing this a lot. A lot of these I don't know even what to call them. I don't think Adin Ross is even on Twitch. I think he's on like Kick. Look, I know we are supposed to know about this type of stuff because like we're in this space and that we are eventually going to be streaming. I keep talking about it. Let me get there, ladies and gentlemen. I'm not a 20-something-year-old kid that could just easily hop into it. Like I got to figure it out first.

[00:12:30]But and I know we're not of that world, but they've been putting on a lot of these shows and and I understand like Logan Paul and Jake Paul putting on that stuff because they're actually training.

[00:12:42]They're actually legitimately like say what you want about Jake Paul.

[00:12:46]Like doing this trick >> I can I can say a lot too, but he is legitimately training to to be in the sport of boxing. He is trying to hone his craft.

[00:12:58]>> Right.

[00:12:58]>> A lot of these kids on social media, these social media influencers have been doing a lot of these fights and then a lot of times they're not wearing headgear, a lot of times they're not wearing protection. Like this stuff isn't There's no real medical oversight.

[00:13:13]There's no athletic uh commission accountability and all that stuff matters because all this human [ __ ] fighting that is the UFC, MMA, boxing and all that stuff. There are rules, regulations, and bodies that oversee everything to make sure things go off without a hitch.

[00:13:29]>> Yes.

[00:13:30]>> That's not the case with these type of situations. And so, I'm like, "Hey, look, when does the voyeurism of celebrity car crash, right?

[00:13:40]>> Mhm.

[00:13:41]>> When does that get pushed to the side?

[00:13:47]Does somebody have to be seriously hurt before that happens?

[00:13:51]>> Oh, uh we don't care about that.

[00:13:54]>> Oh, okay.

[00:13:55]>> Yeah.

[00:13:55]>> I'm just saying by and large as a human race.

[00:13:58]>> Yeah.

[00:13:59]Uh because people in sports in general in this in this facet of the entertainment industry get hurt and killed all the time.

[00:14:10]>> But those are athletes that are training in that sport, right? Like >> Yeah.

[00:14:14]>> If somebody died in a UFC ring, obviously that is obviously horrible. Like I'm not trying to minimize that.

[00:14:22]But they trained to be in that sport. They walk in participating and training for years, decades knowing that it is a real possibility. A lot of celebrities will walk in there and thinking it's a game.

[00:14:39]We all grown.

[00:14:41]A grown man can hit me.

[00:14:44]I could die.

[00:14:45]>> Yes.

[00:14:46]>> padding on. And I don't think it's registering for a lot of these celebrities as chasing the bag.

[00:14:52]>> Right. So, that's the difference. Not the training, but the assumption of risk is what's the difference. And so, when athletes who, like you said, do train in this, they know there's an assumption of risk of like I could get seriously hurt. I could get killed doing this.

[00:15:09]When people who are not in that world and really, Ray J, no business being in it, uh they are not equipped with the knowledge because they haven't trained, they aren't a part of that world. They're not equipped with the knowledge to understand what the true risks are for doing this. And uh yeah, he could have gotten seriously hurt.

[00:15:36]And and to to that point, we don't know that he didn't. Honestly, he went to the hospital for evaluation, but we don't you know we don't know if he did end up sustaining a concussion, if that's going to have any you know, lasting effects like you can't play around with this. And so, for him to even get in that ring knowing like physically he was not ready to do so, I think was a very dangerous decision.

[00:16:03]>> Yeah.

[00:16:04]>> But uh you know, gas is expensive out here. We got inflation, tariffs. Listen, I went to fill up my tank. I took a picture of the total because I couldn't believe it. $50.99.

[00:16:21]>> I mean, I used to spend that money to fill up my truck all the way back in 2003.

[00:16:27]>> No, you didn't. $50.99.

[00:16:30]>> times Okay, maybe not 2003. Around 2008, nine, yeah, there were times where I was spending $50. But then again I had a SUV, 4Runner.

[00:16:39]>> Mhm.

[00:16:40]>> So big tank. And I didn't put the lowest in.

[00:16:44]>> You yeah, you were putting plus in that in that >> because you had to.

[00:16:47]>> I'm I'm this was regular.

[00:16:50]>> [laughter] >> 12-gallon tank.

[00:16:54]$50.99.

[00:16:56]That's ridiculous.

[00:16:58]>> Yeah, that is >> So, I get it. You know, you got bills to pay.

[00:17:04]>> So, is that what we should do? Do a celebrity boxing match for you that to pay for your house bills?

[00:17:09]>> No, touch me and I'm calling the police.

[00:17:11]>> You can't call the authorities if it's a contest, if it if it's a exhibition.

[00:17:16]>> No.

[00:17:18]>> [laughter] >> I don't I'm not getting my I'm not [snorts] getting my behind in no ring.

[00:17:21]At my age? No.

[00:17:23]>> Um my male ego and this is also comes to play with a lot of these guys getting there thinking that they could fight and you see they don't have no hands.

[00:17:35]>> Yeah.

[00:17:36]>> My male ego would be like, "Oh yeah, I used to have hands back in the day."

[00:17:39]Used to.

[00:17:40]>> Yeah.

[00:17:41]>> Used to.

[00:17:42]>> Once upon a time I could fight.

[00:17:44]>> I'm almost 46 years old. I'm messing around tear Achilles trying to throw a punch.

[00:17:49]>> Yeah, and it's been so long since I've actually been in a physical altercation that ain't no telling I could still fight.

[00:18:01]And I don't want to try I don't want to find out.

[00:18:03]>> Yeah. Well, I mean I'd do it for some money and if it's the right person.

[00:18:08]>> No.

[00:18:09]>> I'd fight some people for the right money money.

[00:18:11]>> No, I watched that I watched that what is it the Ronda Rousey and that half of that I don't like.

[00:18:19]>> [laughter] >> And uh just looking at that I'm like, "No, if one of them hit me I'm calling the I'm taking my gloves off doing the taking them gloves off or unwrapping the tape on my hand and I'm asking for my cell phone. You going to hand it to me because you going to be in the corner cuz you talked me into this. You going to hand it to me and I'm calling 911.

[00:18:45]>> no way in hell I'm going to talk you into fighting Ronda Rousey.

[00:18:49]>> Yeah, but I'm calling 911.

[00:18:52]>> I think it's Gina Carano I think that's that I don't even want to say her name.

[00:18:56]She looks like >> Baszler.

[00:18:58]>> Okay. All right then. On that note, ladies and gentlemen, we going to move away from this cuz I tell you what I don't want is no beef with either one of these women, but >> No, on that I'll stand 10 toes down on that.

[00:19:08]>> I I'm not talking about uh not dis- completely disagreeing with their with her stance on trans rights.

[00:19:18]>> Yes.

[00:19:18]>> I can openly say that. I'm just saying I don't want no smoke. Like I don't I don't want her to step to me.

[00:19:25]>> I'll take all the smoke for that. Like here's the thing.

[00:19:28]>> You just said you don't even want to for money, but you'll take the smoke on on principle?

[00:19:34]>> Yeah.

[00:19:34]>> Okay. All right.

[00:19:36]>> Yep.

[00:19:37]>> I [snorts] can keep my mouth shut.

[00:19:38]>> mean that I want to fight her? No.

[00:19:41]Obviously not. I don't want to fight anyone.

[00:19:45]Uh but if she ever if I ever saw on the street and she said, "I heard you don't like my stand on trans rights." I'd be like, "No, I don't."

[00:19:55]>> I mean, yeah, I would say that, too.

[00:19:57]>> Yeah.

[00:19:58]>> But I mean >> Yeah, I'mma stand ten toes down on that.

[00:20:01]And then if she tried to get into a physical altercation, I'm calling the police. That's not It's not hard.

[00:20:07]>> I just said all right three times, meaning that I'm trying >> I'm sorry.

[00:20:11]>> I I said [laughter] it.

[00:20:13]I said it. I said it. But you know when I say all right, that is the segway for me to start moving towards the next segment. And you sitting there >> Well, go ahead.

[00:20:22]>> and this fake fight that you would lose >> No, I >> from. I might leave you.

[00:20:28]>> I'm not going to lose the war words.

[00:20:31]I'll tell you that.

[00:20:32]>> I don't think you're going to get that many out.

[00:20:35]Yeah, all right. I just said all [snorts] right again. All right, ladies and gentlemen, we're going to move on to two different topics that I think make a clear point about support and non-support. And we're going to get into that next.

[00:21:00]Jay, >> Yeah.

[00:21:02]>> to spend a little time on two stories that dropped this week because together they paint a picture of exactly where we are right now culturally.

[00:21:12]>> Okay.

[00:21:13]>> One is about black people being told their community is a threat.

[00:21:18]The other is about a black man with a Netflix deal deciding accountability is somebody else's problem.

[00:21:25]Both of them matter.

[00:21:27]Both of them are worth conversation.

[00:21:30]>> Okay.

[00:21:31]>> So, I'm going to butcher this this girl's last name and I shouldn't. Osaka?

[00:21:36]>> Yeah.

[00:21:37]>> I SAID IT RIGHT, ladies and gentlemen. I said it right.

[00:21:40]>> [gasps] >> Oh, I'm sorry. I'm excited. I could have said it right.

[00:21:43]>> Yeah.

[00:21:44]>> [laughter] >> Naomi Osaka co-hosted a dinner in Paris during the French Open with fellow black tennis players. I'm not about to list all their names.

[00:21:52]>> Coco Gauff.

[00:21:53]>> There was Look, there's a lot of people There was some black tennis players that she hosted a dinner with, okay?

[00:21:58]>> It was Coco Gauff, Gaël Monfils, Christopher Eubanks, Asia Muhammad, and Taylor Townsend.

[00:22:05]>> Oh, okay. I guess that would have been easy enough to read, but I didn't feel like doing it and glad my sister did it.

[00:22:11]They called it the black party.

[00:22:14]Uh Roland Garros edition? I don't even know who Roland Garros is, but okay. It was a private dinner. Friends, colleagues, laughs, good food, good energy. Townsend posted about it calling it good for the culture. Osaka said it was her first time co-hosting an event and that the company couldn't have been better. Then as it does, the internet got involved.

[00:22:39]The criticism centered almost entirely on the word black in the name with people online asking the predictable questions, what if someone hosted an all white party?

[00:22:48]>> Y'all do all the time.

[00:22:50]>> She pushed back directly saying that she grew up as half Japanese athlete who rarely saw players who look like her.

[00:22:58]That she watched her father face discrimination and that celebrating black identity was something she would never apologize for. Her point was simple. This wasn't This was about inclusion and shared experience, not about keeping everyone out. The backlash wasn't coming from inside tennis, it was coming from online spaces that find black community inherently threatening.

[00:23:20]And that's the story that I think is worth talking about. So >> Yeah, for sure.

[00:23:25]>> This is another example of once again black people celebrating us.

[00:23:31]>> Yeah.

[00:23:32]>> And I'm going to say the majority not all, but the majority of the people that typically have a problem with it are white folks.

[00:23:43]>> Mhm.

[00:23:44]Yeah.

[00:23:45]Um because there is no white identity and there is a black identity.

[00:23:51]And that to them feels exclusionary.

[00:23:55]And it ain't got nothing to do with you.

[00:23:59]And that is what they also hate.

[00:24:05]>> Um >> [laughter] >> there is a white identity.

[00:24:09]>> Mhm.

[00:24:10]>> No, no, no. To to them there is a white identity and it's the American identity.

[00:24:15]>> But they can never describe it.

[00:24:17]>> And and and let me >> of it.

[00:24:20]>> Well, they they'll do uh they'll say things like hamburgers and french fries.

[00:24:24]>> But that's not >> pizza.

[00:24:27]>> That's also >> American.

[00:24:29]>> not uh American.

[00:24:31]Yeah, but but the what are the origins of the particular Americana they're talking about? Don't talk about folk music or blues or country or bluegrass.

[00:24:40]Like what what is it?

[00:24:43]>> I will also say this isn't just an American problem. Like these weren't just Americans that were online calling backlash to this because the French Open has a history >> Yes.

[00:24:55]>> of severe racism. Black players have historically been a minority at the top levels of tennis. Serena Williams faced hostile crowd behavior uh as far back as 2003.

[00:25:09]>> Mhm.

[00:25:09]>> Uh Ilie Năstase Năstase?

[00:25:17]>> Uh >> was banned Look it up. I don't know what it is. Look was banned from the French Open in 2017 after a racist remark about Serena's unborn child. Sloane Stephens was spoken has spoken publicly about a racist abuse only getting worse over time. So, all this stuff reflects kind of a racist attitude in France, especially around the French Open. And I remember uh it was it was it the French Open where Serena felt like she was being judged harshly and then the beads in her hair came out and she started crying because of the unfair treatment that she was getting at the tennis match and she felt like it was racist the way she was being treated.

[00:26:03]>> Um I don't know if that was specifically the French Open.

[00:26:06]>> have been the British Open because the British Open >> Wimbledon. Could have been Yeah.

[00:26:11]>> the Wimbledon because I remember one time it was a uh London news or a British news organization that did the caricature of Serena Williams as basically mannish.

[00:26:25]>> Yeah. Uh yeah, well, London news or tabloid culture extremely racist.

[00:26:33]>> Yeah.

[00:26:33]>> Extremely anti-black. And we saw that with the treatment of Meghan Markle and the continued treatment of Meghan Markle.

[00:26:39]>> Don't look.

[00:26:41]You know what? It's not just that. With Meghan Markle, you have people here in this country who don't have nothing to do with it.

[00:26:50]Meghan is American, but they don't have anything to do with her marrying Prince Harry, right? Nothing. And they're just like, "Yeah, Prince and they it's the shots they don't throw at Prince Harry."

[00:27:01]And I'm like, "I know what you're doing." And it's it's very much like these redrawn voting maps and redistricting.

[00:27:13]That these politicians say, "Well, it's not about race." Yes, it absolutely is.

[00:27:18]And and my question then becomes, and this isn't a not to all white folks, right? Because I I I saw something on Instagram or threads not too long ago uh where the person was asking, you know, "Hey, when is white people going to" No, it was a question.

[00:27:38]And the question said, "Hey, black folks. Hey, this is a question for black folks. White people stay out of it." And then you had to click on something and when you clicked on it revealed it, it was like, "See, I knew you white people wouldn't go stay out of it cuz it was all bunch" It was a whole bunch of white people that were in there making comments. And it was like, "What is What is it about us that you can't stay out our business?"

[00:27:59]Because, and once again, this isn't directed towards all white people, right? But there's a lot There's a lot of them. Why is it you can't just mind your own business?

[00:28:12]>> Well, that goes across the board for anything. If you've seen any Karen video, uh it doesn't matter the race of the other person. They just cannot they cannot mind their own business. Uh it is literally impossible for them to mind their own business.

[00:28:31]>> And I would say sometimes we need to be more mindful of other people cuz we as black people are real good at minding our own business almost to the detriment sometimes.

[00:28:44]>> Yeah, that's true. Uh but I will say here here is my opinion of what the crux of the issue is. They created blackness, right? It for for the purpose of subjugation, for the purpose of oppression, they created blackness.

[00:29:04]They created racism.

[00:29:06]They created racial prejudice.

[00:29:09]But what has happened is that we instead took the blackness that they gave us, that identity, and we created something truly beautiful out of it that is global influence.

[00:29:24]>> Mhm.

[00:29:25]>> And so if you made something to to hurt someone else, and they took it and made a million dollars off of it, >> [laughter] >> that would piss you off to the highest level of pissitivity.

[00:29:42]>> Ain't not the highest level of pissitivity.

[00:29:44]>> Yeah. And you want to take as much as you or you feel like now you owed something.

[00:29:52]>> Mhm.

[00:29:52]>> You're owed access at all times, no matter what the occasion, and you got that sound on a lot of videos and TikToks and reels. When you're black, you're never really lonely.

[00:30:05]>> Yeah.

[00:30:06]>> Like, right? Uh, they want they demand access and and and like like a jovial response, right? Like we're supposed to invite them to the cookout, and we're supposed to be all, yes, oh, we're so glad you're here. Like, no.

[00:30:24]But instead, we're saying, no, this is this is ours.

[00:30:29]This thing here, this is going to be for us. FUBU.

[00:30:33]Right?

[00:30:34]>> by us. Mhm.

[00:30:35]>> And that does nothing that that just boy, that just pisses them off. And that's why they fight so hard for the N-word.

[00:30:42]>> Mhm.

[00:30:43]>> That's why they'll fight tooth and nail because I heard something the other day and it's so true because you understand the context and when two women call each other [ __ ] right?

[00:30:57]And that they're not meaning it the way a a strange man on the street calling a woman a [ __ ] means it, right? So, they can understand that context, but they can't understand it when it comes to the N-word.

[00:31:11]>> I love the analogy cuz you sent me that video. I love the analogy of nickname between lovers, >> Yeah.

[00:31:18]>> right? Like Yeah, it's okay for me to call my partner a honey boo or sweet cheeks.

[00:31:24]You can't call her that and you know that.

[00:31:26]>> Yeah. And you know that.

[00:31:27]>> that. You know that you can't, but for some strange reason you want it you want to say the N-word because you're excluded from it. And I think it goes deeper. I think it goes back to those songs that we learned in elementary school. This land is my land.

[00:31:44]This land is your land.

[00:31:46]Or inherently people in this country are taught it is mine, but history says when you learn it, it's not really all of ours. When you say this land is my land, this land is your land, what you're saying to is this land is my land, this land is your land if you're in a specific group. If you're not in a specific group, >> it doesn't belong >> It doesn't belong to you.

[00:32:11]>> And your rights here are tenuous.

[00:32:14]>> All the time. Uh You know what's also funny? The people most offended by this dinner have never once complained about the actual racism in tennis.

[00:32:23]>> Right.

[00:32:24]>> Like they they complained about the exclusion of people at this party, but they're not saying to themselves, "But you know, we excluded from that party, but you know, black folks have been excluded from tennis because when you think about it, tennis is >> Yeah, cuz that's two different populations.

[00:32:41]>> But when you think about it, tennis has always been kind of exclusion exclusive exclusionary?

[00:32:46]>> Yes.

[00:32:47]>> Yeah, exclusionary. Tennis has country clubs, like legacy memberships, old money traditions.

[00:32:54]Those are exclusive.

[00:32:57]>> Yeah.

[00:32:57]>> Nobody actually says that they're exclusive. But they are.

[00:33:01]>> Yeah.

[00:33:02]>> Every now and then we get a black tennis player that does real good for themselves. And we're going to cheer, just like we did for Tiger Woods.

[00:33:10]>> Yeah.

[00:33:11]>> You know what I'm saying? They got Tom Brady. Love you, Tom Brady. They got Jack Sock. And he out there, you know, announcing President Trump during one of his rallies.

[00:33:20]>> Rocky Marciano, that's they won.

[00:33:23]>> [laughter] [gasps] >> Uh But why does black community feel threatened to people who have never been a part of part of it, right?

[00:33:35]>> Yeah.

[00:33:35]>> dinner have been controversial if it was called dinner with friends?

[00:33:38]What does it say about the tennis culture that has become that this has become a story at all? It says tennis is still very segregated.

[00:33:48]>> Mhm.

[00:33:49]>> Because the names that was on that list was only five or six.

[00:33:55]>> Right.

[00:33:56]>> Last I checked French Open has way more players than that. So, we're talking about what? Not even 5% of the players.

[00:34:08]>> Right.

[00:34:08]>> to get together for an intimate dinner.

[00:34:09]But for my white folks out there that are like, there they go again attacking us. I'm about to attack a black man.

[00:34:17]>> Oh boy.

[00:34:17]>> It's an equal opportunity attacking around here because >> Again, it's not an attack, it's a call out and call in. It's accountability.

[00:34:25]>> Accountability can come off to it can come off as attacks to certain people.

[00:34:29]So, I'm >> Yeah, those who don't want to take it.

[00:34:31]>> Right.

[00:34:33]>> [laughter] >> Don't want to take accountability. So, I'm just going to call it what it is to them, right? It's like, yeah, okay, in your eyes I'm attacking you.

[00:34:40]Cool.

[00:34:41]If you want to take accountability, you'll realize it's not an attack, but you won't. And cuz that's what I'm used to. You don't be reading these comments.

[00:34:47]I'll be reading them. These people are ridiculous, but Kevin Hart went on The Breakfast Club to address the George Floyd joke during his Netflix roast. Instead of putting the fire out, he mostly poured gas on it.

[00:35:01]>> Of course he did.

[00:35:02]>> Hart's position was clear.

[00:35:05]Kev Tony, who is the comedian, told the joke, not him. So, the outrage is misdirected. He produced the show, but argues he's not responsible for every word of every comedian's mouth.

[00:35:17]That's the argument. The problem is the public wasn't asking who said it. They were asking, "What do you think about it?" And Hart never fully answered the way that people wanted it to land. The backlash was already simmering because of before the Breakfast Club appearance, the roast aired on Netflix, the joke went viral, Floyd's family responded publicly, and the cultural temperature was already pretty hot. So, Hart's interview didn't de-escalate it. It widened the gap between what people wanted to hear from him and what he was actually saying. And for a man who has built his entire brand on being relatable and culturally aware, that gap is a real problem. So, I'm going to call Kevin Hart to task for what he said. But did you get a chance to receive his clip?

[00:36:06]>> No, but I'm not surprised. Uh we had the same issue about prior either they were transphobe or homophobic comments. I can't remember.

[00:36:19]Um he said he apologized for them. He was up for hosting the Oscars.

[00:36:24]And they it the comments resurfaced. And he said I already apologized for that.

[00:36:29]I'm not doing it again. Yeah, he needs around like issues sensitive issues like this. He definitely needs PR coaching because he is not good at de-escalating things at all. It's not his forte.

[00:36:43]So to see that he took like zero accountability for it.

[00:36:50]Okay, like that that feels more on brand than him being relatable. I've never found Kevin Hart to be relatable. But like >> Mhm.

[00:36:59]>> uh that feels more on brand for me about him.

[00:37:05]>> I don't see a lot of comedians apologizing. So I'll put him in that category as the first label that he puts upon himself is comedian. What I mean by that is when when somebody says to me and I've talked about this before in the podcast, "What are the things that you describe yourself as?"

[00:37:24]Say the first thing I say is black.

[00:37:26]>> Mhm.

[00:37:26]>> I'm a black man.

[00:37:28]>> Mhm.

[00:37:29]>> Those are the first things that I say.

[00:37:31]>> Yeah.

[00:37:31]>> American is in there somewhere.

[00:37:33]>> Yeah.

[00:37:33]>> It's not one of the first things I say because the first thing that I am above anything else is black.

[00:37:41]>> Mhm.

[00:37:42]>> Um so it seems like when he describes himself the first word that he'll use is comedian cuz this is kind of universal.

[00:37:53]Dave Chappelle >> Dave Chappelle basically did the same thing. They get defensive >> Yes.

[00:37:58]>> instead of listening. They're like, "It's just jokes." And and it and in a certain way I kind of get it as somebody who loves to joke with people. Some would say picking on people, but I don't it's never mean-spirited.

[00:38:12]I always tell people if I don't joke with you, joke on you because I can take it as well as I could give it. So bring it with bring it at me as well. If I don't joke with you at all, I really rock with you. Like if I don't joke on you at all, I don't rock with you. But there are sometimes people who are like, "Hey, look, what you just said, that bothered me." And I had to take a step back and be like, "Okay, was I wrong with they felt it the way they felt?" So I can't take that away from them. Was that my intent? Did they know my intent? Is it something that I need to apologize? And 9.9 times out of 10, I'm like, "It doesn't matter if I feel like it wasn't offensive. You feel that way, I'm going to apologize."

[00:38:54]>> Because it's impact over impact over intent. But here's the thing about that comedian identity. They think it gives them carte blanche to say whatever they want. I don't know who created that rule, but it is incorrect.

[00:39:06]A joke is a joke when people are laughing, but when you're making the joke and no one's laughing and in fact they're upset, then you didn't make a joke and you weren't funny. And so that's that's the difference. What we are saying is it's a joke to you, but it's not a joke to a whole community of people and allies. It's not a joke. It's their life. And it is comments that people can take and it could result in violence or harm against the a whole community of people.

[00:39:42]And so when is a joke actually a joke? A joke is actually a joke when people find it humorous.

[00:39:50]>> Yeah.

[00:39:51]>> But when they find it harmful, it's not a joke. And the fact of the matter is the difference between you and a comedian like say Dave Chappelle is like you'll take that instance where your joke was not received as a joke and you'll understand that impact trumps intent and you will take accountability.

[00:40:13]The problem is they can't take it as well as they dish it out. Because just because you made a joke doesn't mean I don't get to say something back. It's like free speech ain't free cuz it can still get you punched in your mouth.

[00:40:29]So like >> Or free speech doesn't remove you from critique.

[00:40:33]>> Yes. And so you should be able to take it take that critique if you want to tell that joke. If you want to tell that {quote} {unquote} joke, then you should be able to handle the consequence that comes with it. And if you can't and you like, "Well, it wasn't I didn't say it." Or what I Black people got it worse. So this, that, and whatever your lame-ass excuses that just says to me no, you can't take what you dish out.

[00:41:05]>> So >> know how to take accountability.

[00:41:08]>> I don't I agree with you.

[00:41:11]And in a minor defense of him when he was on The Breakfast Club, he put it all on Tony.

[00:41:18]And he was like, "What am I supposed to do? Stop production?"

[00:41:21]>> Yes.

[00:41:22]>> What? No. No.

[00:41:25]Show must go on, right? Like they are throwing jokes all around. No, you don't stop.

[00:41:31]>> live?

[00:41:32]>> Uh no, I don't think it was live. I think it was taped.

[00:41:36]>> Okay.

[00:41:38]>> No, I mean uh you could have cut it from the edit.

[00:41:42]You you could have cut it from the edit.

[00:41:44]And from what I gathered, there were some jokes that were cut. But I think Kevin Hart went in a roast and he went in a roast like all those other roasts have been. And roasts get really, really dark.

[00:41:59]And I don't think people other than comedians should actually be in the room. Don't try to monetize something that is so dark.

[00:42:09]Don't don't try to don't try to hold on to the truth of comedy as well as make a buck. Pick your lane.

[00:42:16]>> Right.

[00:42:17]>> Either you going to hold on to the art form form or you're going to try to make that money. If you're going to try to make money, you got to kind of water down your stuff.

[00:42:27]>> Yeah.

[00:42:28]It's your own roast anyway, but okay.

[00:42:31]>> This is a This is a poor example.

[00:42:34]But there is a lot of lyrics that Biggie had on his Ready to Die album >> Mhm.

[00:42:40]>> that Puffy cut.

[00:42:42]He's like, "You can't say that."

[00:42:43]And And they came out later and you hear them on his like after he passed away, Puffy was still going to make money off of them. And you hear these old lyrics that they threw on new songs and you're like, "Oh, Puffy. Yeah, I understand why you cut these lyrics.

[00:43:02]They're a pawn."

[00:43:03]>> Yeah.

[00:43:04]>> Yes. And so you have to make a decision as an artist.

[00:43:09]>> Mhm.

[00:43:10]>> You're going to be an artist? Then be an artist. Don't worry about the money. Do your art.

[00:43:16]>> Right.

[00:43:16]>> Or do you want to make money? If you want to make money, you got to conform a little bit.

[00:43:21]But then the thing that bothered me about Kevin Hart's response to all this.

[00:43:29]Instead of listening to the herd of people, he felt attacked. So he got defensive.

[00:43:36]>> Mhm.

[00:43:36]>> And his posturing was that. So there was no reasoning with him. Because he got defensive, this was a stance he was going to take. So he was going to pass the buck and say, "Tony said the joke. I wouldn't have said the joke, but Tony said the joke.

[00:43:51]But it's your production."

[00:43:52]>> Yes.

[00:43:52]>> It's Heartbeat Productions.

[00:43:54]>> Yes.

[00:43:55]>> Another thing that I didn't know about that I found out later that really bothered me. Because there was a lot of racial jokes, but okay, that's kind of what a roast is.

[00:44:06]>> Yeah.

[00:44:07]>> However, there were writers.

[00:44:11]All of the writers were white.

[00:44:16]There is where the problem begins.

[00:44:20]Because it's not about making artful comedy. Kind of seems like you trying to get your racist thoughts off.

[00:44:30]>> Sounds like it, don't it?

[00:44:32]>> And if that's the case and you're the production for this, that says something about you. That means all these jokes that they were doing in the roast about Kevin Hart quote-unquote cooning it up for the higher-ups in the entertainment business, kind of kind of seems like it could be true.

[00:44:56]Now, also, Kevin Hart was at George Floyd's funeral. He is a friend of the family.

[00:45:03]All of that stuff.

[00:45:05]>> Yeah, and so he should have cut it.

[00:45:07]>> He didn't say the joke, but he's responsible because it's his production.

[00:45:13]>> Yeah.

[00:45:14]>> And once again, where does that >> what it means to be the producer.

[00:45:21]>> Yeah.

[00:45:23]Well, I don't know. So, like Naomi gets dragged for dinner. Hart gets on the Breakfast platform Breakfast Club platform to explain why he doesn't owe anyone anything.

[00:45:33]Both stories are about black people and accountability, but the accountability is running in completely different directions.

[00:45:39]The common thread? Wealth and access change how you move, and sometimes that distance causes you to room.

[00:45:46]Here's what these two stories absolutely have in common.

[00:45:49]Both of them are really about what happens when black people stop centering black people.

[00:45:55]Naomi never did that. She centered black people.

[00:45:59]Hart did it on his Netflix stage in front of the whole world and then went to the breakfast breakfast club to explain why that was okay.

[00:46:06]Being a comedian doesn't make him say that.

[00:46:10]Being rich and out of touch did.

[00:46:22]Okay.

[00:46:23]Somebody put together a list of classic black family sayings and I need to I need to talk about it. Because these weren't just phrases.

[00:46:33]They were whole curriculum.

[00:46:35]These days that we heard growing up in black household that shaped how we move in the world.

[00:46:40]No classroom, no textbook, just a look, seven words slipped in before you were old enough to argue back.

[00:46:49]>> Yep.

[00:46:51]>> So, I'm going to go through just a couple of these black slang sayings. Not slang, but I mean you would get slayed if you didn't listen to these sayings.

[00:47:00]>> Yes.

[00:47:02]>> And I'm going to say what the literal meaning is and what the real lesson is.

[00:47:06]>> Okay.

[00:47:07]>> And everybody and it's not it's I'm sure it's not just black folks, but universally almost every black person knows these phrases. There might be some other ethnic groups that absolutely know these phrases as well.

[00:47:22]Universally black people know these. And the first one, the first one, I'm not one of your little friends.

[00:47:30]>> Exactly. Yes.

[00:47:32]>> The literal meaning is don't talk to me like I'm your peer.

[00:47:35]>> Mhm.

[00:47:36]>> The real lesson is respect hierarchy.

[00:47:39]>> Yeah.

[00:47:39]>> Ranks exist in this house and you are not at the top of it.

[00:47:44]>> Yeah.

[00:47:45]Which is hopefully a lesson we're actually starting to move away from.

[00:47:52]Because what it does is it it puts a a block on your child's voice.

[00:48:03]You know, cuz cuz let me tell you what what's inherent in that is I'm not one of your little peers.

[00:48:11]There's a hierarchy and in that hierarchy I'm above you. And because I'm up there, what I say is what it is.

[00:48:21]But a parent is not A parent is a person. They're a human being. They make mistakes.

[00:48:29]>> Mhm.

[00:48:30]>> There should be space for your child to say something.

[00:48:35]>> All right. So, you know, parents are going to say, "What is your solution for this?" Because you don't want your child to get so comfortable with you. And then you want them to be able to open up and talk to you, but you don't want them to get so open with you that they start treating you as one of their little friends because they need to respect when you tell them to do something to do it.

[00:48:59]>> Yes. Yes, that is absolutely true. But you And And honestly, if there wasn't answer, uh, parenting would be solved forever. There is no answer. It's a It's a line that you have to walk every day of like, I want to have a relationship where my child feels comfortable coming and telling me things.

[00:49:21]>> Mhm.

[00:49:23]>> But I need also to make sure that the boundary is there of like, I am your parent.

[00:49:31]And that that comes with a certain level of responsibility, which is by certain level I mean all of it.

[00:49:40]>> [laughter] >> And because of that, you need to listen when I speak.

[00:49:46]>> Mhm.

[00:49:47]>> Like I get that point.

[00:49:48]>> Mhm.

[00:49:49]>> But I But it you also do need to in a sense be your child's little friend.

[00:49:57]>> Mhm.

[00:49:57]>> So that they can come to you and talk to you openly about the things that's going on with them, the things they're having problems with, even if that problem is you.

[00:50:07]>> Mhm.

[00:50:08]That's going to be A lot of parents ain't going to want to hear that.

[00:50:11]They ain't not going to want to hear that.

[00:50:14]>> Well, then in 20 years, don't say nothing to me when your child is going no contact and you can't figure out why.

[00:50:21]>> Yeah, cuz that's that's what we doing nowadays. Go no contact. We personal boundaries. Look, you ain't going to ruin my life. I'm going to get right mentally.

[00:50:31]>> Yeah.

[00:50:31]>> going to ruin my life. So, you either act right or get out.

[00:50:36]>> Yeah.

[00:50:36]>> So, I get it, but also I'm still not one of your little friends.

[00:50:42]>> Yeah.

[00:50:43]>> I We can be friendly, >> Mhm.

[00:50:45]>> but I ain't one of your little friends.

[00:50:47]>> Right. The relationship between us is different.

[00:50:50]>> Different, yeah.

[00:50:51]>> Yes.

[00:50:51]>> Okay, here's another one.

[00:50:54]I'll deal with you when we get home.

[00:50:57]>> Mhm.

[00:50:58]>> Literal meaning, this issue will be handled later at home. Real lesson, public behavior should stay controlled.

[00:51:07]Discipline is coming, just not here.

[00:51:09]>> Yeah.

[00:51:11]>> I hated getting a phone call from mom or dad when they were at work because a teacher or principal or most of time assistant principal then place the call at their job to tell them how I was acting that day. And they call and say, "Hey, we heard from your teacher. We heard from the assistant principal. We heard from your principal.

[00:51:38]I'mma deal with you when I get home."

[00:51:40]>> Yes.

[00:51:40]>> And get home is not for a couple of hours, and it's the longest hours of your life.

[00:51:45]>> Yeah. It's that long walk. It's that green mile.

[00:51:50]You know, it's that dead man walking.

[00:51:53]And you And you just you just waiting for the hammer to that that silence while you wait for the hammer to drop is the most excruciating.

[00:52:05]Yes.

[00:52:06]>> I think that's that's worse than any of the punishment. The anticipation of the punishment is always worse than the punishment. It don't last as long >> Right.

[00:52:16]>> as the punishment, but it feels worse.

[00:52:19]>> Yes, it does.

[00:52:21]That saying also means we don't we don't put our business out in public.

[00:52:29]>> Mhm.

[00:52:30]>> We going to deal with this. So, I can get in your ass, but it's going to be in the privacy of our own home cuz I don't need these people talking about how I raise my child.

[00:52:40]>> [laughter] >> Look, let me tell you something. Ain't nothing scarier than being at some type of store with your mama and you act up and she says to you very calmly, "I'mma deal with you when we get home."

[00:52:53]>> Mhm.

[00:52:55]>> I know what's going to happen when we get home. I know the fury that's burning inside of you right now. The fact that you are so calm is letting me know I'm really going to get it, but also we don't do public displays.

[00:53:12]>> Nope.

[00:53:13]>> We not going to do it. You not going You not going to know what's going on in our household. Also, not necessarily the greatest thing in the world.

[00:53:23]>> That's not You know, depends on what what comes when you get home.

[00:53:29]>> Right, but I'm talking about >> Everything staying in the home. This idea that goes back to my earlier conversation where we just mind our business all the time. That could be detrimental. Sometimes those things that are going on in the home need to be heard outside because sometimes things going on in the home you think is normal.

[00:53:52]>> Yeah.

[00:53:52]>> You get outside and realize that's not normal. I have a friend that told me a story that he thought was perfectly normal.

[00:54:00]His mom kicked him down a flight of stairs routinely.

[00:54:04]And I was like, "Hey man, that's child abuse."

[00:54:08]>> Is that okay?

[00:54:09]>> That's not >> There's no world in which that's okay.

[00:54:13]>> Yeah.

[00:54:14]>> He was like, "Yeah, my mom was just tough on me." No, that's not being tough. She kicked you downstairs repeatedly? "Yeah, I was a little kid. I didn't get hurt."

[00:54:23]You could have.

[00:54:24]>> You definitely could have.

[00:54:26]>> They actually weren't black, but also sometimes things in the home need to come outside the home so you realize it's not normal. All right.

[00:54:35]>> Yeah.

[00:54:35]>> Here's another one that typically happened when they dealt with you when they got home.

[00:54:41]>> Okay.

[00:54:42]>> Keep on crying and I'll give you something to cry about.

[00:54:45]>> Yes.

[00:54:47]>> [sighs] >> Listen, I just got punished. I just got punished.

[00:54:53]I am upset by that.

[00:54:55]Let me feel these feelings. That is the least you could do.

[00:55:02]Let me be upset about the fact that I just got punished.

[00:55:08]Please.

[00:55:10]>> Before you give me something to cry about, you just gave me something to cry about.

[00:55:15]>> That's why I'm crying now.

[00:55:19]There's more on top of this?

[00:55:21]>> Do you think giving me more all of a sudden I'm going to be like, "Yeah, I don't even know why I'm crying."

[00:55:27]>> Yeah.

[00:55:28]>> Is the Is the more worse than what it was before? Maybe that's what they thinking. The more The next is going to be more than it was before. So it's like, you was crying over that? That was nothing. And then when you get the more, you be like, "You know what? It really wasn't nothing. I shouldn't have been crying over that." No. No.

[00:55:47]>> No. I'mma cry over all of it.

[00:55:49]>> Yes.

[00:55:50]>> [laughter] >> All of it. I'm going to cry over every part. Every stage of this, I'm going to cry about it.

[00:55:59]>> This next one, Carlos Miller did uh and on his podcast, what is it called? It's called 85 South. Yeah. 85 South podcast. I've seen this clip where he talks about this and he's absolutely right. And it is act like you got some sense.

[00:56:19]That is a black expression and what it literally means is behave yourself in public. And the real lesson is you was raised with standards.

[00:56:29]>> Mhm.

[00:56:30]>> Retrieve them immediately and represent this family correctly. And Carlos was like, "The only reason why we ever got into some trouble is because we was acting like we ain't have some sense."

[00:56:40]>> Right.

[00:56:40]>> You know what? He was absolutely right.

[00:56:43]>> Yeah.

[00:56:44]You wasn't acting like you had the sense God gave you.

[00:56:46]>> You're right. [laughter] That's another one.

[00:56:48]>> Mhm.

[00:56:51]>> But But God didn't give me no sense. You supposed to teach me the sense.

[00:56:55]>> Yes.

[00:56:56]That's [snorts] where the disconnect comes in. I'm seven.

[00:57:02]>> We inherently got sense? I didn't know.

[00:57:04]>> Where did the sense come from?

[00:57:06]>> But you know what Carlos said? Carlos said, "Even though you you don't have no sense, you don't know what sense is, when 3 years old, your parents says, 'Act like you got some sense,' you started acting right." Whatever it was, you started acting right. So, maybe inherently we do know what acting like some sense is.

[00:57:26]>> No. The response to that was always doing nothing because we don't know what that means. So, when you tell me to act like I have some sense, I don't know what that means. So, now I'm paralyzed.

[00:57:42]And you think, okay, now you're acting right because I'm quiet and I'm not moving because I actually don't know what to do.

[00:57:49]I don't know how to act like I have sense because I don't understand what that means.

[00:57:53]So, now I'm doing nothing.

[00:57:56]>> Yeah, you're right.

[00:57:57]All right, so we're just going to do two more. We're just going to do two more.

[00:58:02]And this one at the time didn't make any sense to us when our parents said it or our family said it, but as we got older, yeah, I I kind of get it. And it is this hurts me more than it hurts you.

[00:58:19]>> Yeah, in the moment you're like, the hell it does.

[00:58:24]>> [laughter] >> You didn't take away my Nintendo. How in the world does that hurt you more than it hurts me? Well, you aren't Yeah.

[00:58:35]>> The reason is is because the punishment or correction is more painful for them because they're showing you that discipline comes with care, not cruelty, sometimes.

[00:58:48]>> Sometimes.

[00:58:49]>> Sometimes. But, the inherent lesson when they say that, when they're actually not being cruel, >> Mhm.

[00:58:57]>> is yeah, this hurts. I don't want to do this to you. I don't want to see you sad.

[00:59:04]>> Yeah.

[00:59:04]>> want to see you hurt. I don't want to see you cry. Your actions are forcing me to do this and it's breaking my heart to see you like this, but if I don't do this, >> Mhm.

[00:59:18]>> you're going to be crazy when you get older.

[00:59:20]>> Yeah.

[00:59:21]>> You're going to be like Kenzie Shirelle.

[00:59:24]>> Right.

[00:59:25]Cuz they did not never say none of these things to her. They were absolutely her little friend.

[00:59:33]>> [laughter] >> They still her little friend in jail.

[00:59:36]>> They still her little friend now. They are the three of them is just a triplet of delusion.

[00:59:42]>> Mhm.

[00:59:43]>> Cuz y'all are delusional. But no, yeah, as an adult, I understand it now. I understand that it is true when I do have to call nieces or nephews or somebody to task, it's like, I don't want to say this to you. I don't want to have this conversation with you. I want to go have some fun and give you candy and all the things that your mom don't want you to have and your dad don't want you to have. But that's my job as an auntie.

[01:00:11]That's what I want to do. I don't want to have to have tough conversations and correct your behavior and all of these I don't want to do this.

[01:00:22]Because it it upsets me to see you upset.

[01:00:27]But I also realize that I have a responsibility as the adult in this situation.

[01:00:32]>> Yeah.

[01:00:34]Last one.

[01:00:36]Don't let me have to tell you twice.

[01:00:39]>> Because the fact that I had to tell you once.

[01:00:42]>> Right. The The first time was the last warning.

[01:00:46]>> Mhm.

[01:00:47]>> Listen fast and move even faster.

[01:00:51]Don't let me have to tell you twice.

[01:00:52]Ain't no second warning.

[01:00:55]>> Yeah.

[01:00:56]Cuz if I have to get up >> That was the >> Cuz if I have to get up >> Childhood trauma, Jay, before we get out of here, what do you want to tell these people?

[01:01:09]>> [sighs and gasps] >> Nobody celebrates black people.

[01:01:15]Nobody.

[01:01:16]We [snorts] barely get recognized for our contributions. Let us have a little dinner where we can [music] be in community with each other and mind our own damn business. We don't bother nobody.

[01:01:28]Please stop bothering us.

[01:01:30]>> Mhm.

[01:01:31]And also, just because you rich and black, you still black.

[01:01:37]Don't ever forget that.

[01:01:39]>> Mhm.

[01:01:40]>> Ladies and gentlemen, I want to thank you for listening.

[01:01:42]>> [music] >> I want to thank you for watching. And until next time, as always, I'll holler.

[01:01:51]Woo. That was a hell of a show. Thank you for rocking with us here on Unsolicited Perspectives with Bruce Anthony. Now, before you go, don't forget to follow, subscribe, like, comment, and share our podcast wherever you're listening or watching it to it.

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