He Didn't Believe Racism Was Real Until He Saw What Happened To His Adopted Black Child

Added: 2026-05-20

[00:00:01]Hello family, welcome back. I am Zalam and today we're talking about a white man that is saying that he only realized racism was real after adopting his black daughter. And after he noticed or watched her go through racism and a couple of things he mentions, I'll I'll show you the clip shortly. he realized, oh, racism is real. And this man is an American man, actually, a well-known man. He's a political commentator and a former attorney. So, people were honestly shocked uh at this fact. They were asking, "You lived in this world for 57 years, specifically, you lived in America for 57 years, and how can you say that you didn't know racism existed?" It's a valid question. But first, let me show you what he had to say.

[00:00:58]>> Are you a conservative?

[00:00:59]>> Yes. Now, I have changed on a couple of things. I have absolutely changed in my perception of the severity, lingering severity of race problems in this country. I've absolutely changed on that. And a lot of that is due to a very, very distinct and personal experience. We adopted a child from Ethiopia. This might sound super naive, but when we adopted our youngest daughter, I did not have in my mind that she was going to come to my community and have a substantially different experience as a child than my two older kids. But by golly, she had a substantially different experience.

[00:01:34]There was not a school that she went to where she was not called the n-word repeatedly.

[00:01:38]>> Wow.

[00:01:38]>> There was a point where I picked her up after a high school football game. This was in Nashville at a game at McGomery Bell Academy, one of the highestend schools in all of Middle Tennessee. This is a very wealthy school. We went to pick her up and she was shaking and her friend who was a Latina was shaking as well and it was like, "What happened?"

[00:01:58]And she said, "A truck full of guys was screaming the n-word at us and drove straight for us and they just swerved away at the very last second."

[00:02:06]>> Holy cow. All of a sudden, I realized that I'd been in a bubble and that my white educated upper middle class bubble in the South had really intentionally screened out racism.

[00:02:22]Yeah. So, some of you probably already know him. His name is David French and he is an American political commentator that makes comments on politics and he's a former attorney. So, you would expect from a person that spent decades talking about America, politics, and everything that has to do with uh America in general would know that what black people go through. But according to him, he did not know that. And uh he first learned that it existed after he adopted his daughter and what she had to go through. He said he lived in a bubble, which also kind of raises a question like, "What do you mean bubble? Like all your friends, all your family members are white and you've never heard from a black person what a black person in America goes through?" It it's it it's kind of questionable to be honest, but that is what his experience is. And the thing is when you do more research and when you talk to people people that have experienced racism in the US that have been adopted by white families, the the story is very similar. It's like they get adopted, the family never prepare them as you know what to expect in the future. They never tell them um how they'll be treated, how they might be treated differently and what kind of words are slurs and how it's offensive.

[00:03:45]Some kids go on to like they didn't I I'll show you a clip of a a young lady that was adopted by a white family that lived in the US. How she even found out what the N word was in the school that they were calling her that. She didn't even know the meaning. She didn't even know they were using it as a slur because her white family never prepared her. Right. So, let me show you her clip just justed.

[00:04:09]>> Y'all know I was adopted by white parents. Well, one thing they never taught me about was racism. And the crazy thing was though, a lot of my white counterparts in elementary school knew what that word was. I didn't. I remember one day my friend at the time was like, "I need to tell you something, but um I'm not supposed to say this, but I feel like you should know." And she basically told me what the n-word was and why it's bad towards black people.

[00:04:35]I'm just saying. I think it is a little normalized in the home. Racism is taught. I also saw something about um adoption, and I mean not true in every case, but specifically with the black people in my community, myself included.

[00:04:48]I feel like we were adopted to create palatable black kids. Black kids that these people could stand. And I say that because of the projection and antilackness I got growing up. So, there's a lot to break down with this video.

[00:05:04]The thing is when you're adopting a kid and they are different from you, right?

[00:05:10]Um their race is different. Don't you think you need to do a little bit more research as to how to raise them? Of course, raising kids for the most part is the same. But when you're raising a kid in this world, specifically in the United States of America, where there's race tensions, where I mean, we all watch the news, we all experience it, right? So you can't tell me that you are an educated person, a person that you know can afford adoption. Adoption is also not cheap.

[00:05:42]You would go right and adopt a kid and not do the due diligence to to to learn to unlearn how to raise them. Like let's even mention like the simplest thing you might um it comes to mind like hair, right? Like if you're a white family adopting a black kid, you need to know how to take care of them correctly. So if you're gonna brush their hair, how do you brush it? It's not going to be the same way. You won't brush a black child's hair the same way you would brush yours. How do you detangle it? How do you style it? Because we all know we have different textures. We have different hairs. Like, are you prepared?

[00:06:20]Do you actually take this seriously to the point where you're sitting down, you're educating yourself? You want to raise a human being that is going to go out there in this world and be ready?

[00:06:32]Are you going to prepare them? Are you going to build their confidence? Or worse, when they go to school, experience this racism, and come to you and tell you, "I was called the n-word.

[00:06:41]I was, you know, mistreated. Someone said this to me. I was treated differently." You tell them, "There's no such thing cuz you claim that you live in a bubble. you didn't prepare yourself, hence you didn't prepare your kid and they go out there in this cruel world and get treated badly. Imagine the impact it will have psychologically.

[00:07:00]This kid is not only being mistreated.

[00:07:02]They don't understand why because they're raised in a household where they're told there's no racism. They have no clue what to expect. They go out in the world, the world is cruel to them. And they come back home and they tell their parents and their parents are telling them, "No, you probably imagined it." Or they'll tell them, "No, that's my cousin. No, that's my brother that he will never treat you that way. There's no such thing. So on top of the trauma, now they have to deal with their adoptive parents not believing their stories, not believing what they're telling them. Now imagine this kids as adults, what kind of adults we are creating. So I think it's it's wrong not to u learn how these kids are going to view the world, how the world is going to view them and to better prepare them because as parents adaptive or not, you know, if you're a parent, if you're a guardian period, you need to be able to prepare your kids for the world. And that's one of the the the homework you have as a parent, as the grown-up.

[00:08:04]You're the adult here, right? It's not the kid. It's not up to the kid to teach you um the world. It's you cuz you have time on your hands. You've lived in this world for longer and you know how it is.

[00:08:17]So, it's just it's just sad to see. And I've I've uh when I saw his clip um many more adopted kids u came on my page and I I I heard their stories and some it's traumatizing. It's not even just the world that is teaching them to hate themselves, but their own household. The people that adopted them, promised to take care of them as their own are the ones making them hate themselves. And there's one example here for you.

[00:08:45]>> Parents, meaning I'm adopted.

[00:08:48]Wait, let me add it to the screen.

[00:08:50]Sorry. I'm adopted and I have white parents, meaning I have a lot of internalized racism like a lot of adopes in transracial family. I've been unlearning the ways I internalized racism and it's been one of the hardest yet one of the most freeing things I've ever done. I absorbed the message that whiteness was the standard and it influenced how I talked, how I dressed, how I did my hair, how professional I was, what beauty meant without even realizing it. I changed everything about myself to fit that mold. That's the thing with internalized racism. You judge yourself and please yourself before anybody else has the chance to.

[00:09:22]Unlearning it hasn't been a big moment for me. It's been a lot of small steps.

[00:09:26]Even things like wearing my hair in braids is something I used to avoid or I was taught was unprofessional. I never had my hair in braids growing up. Not ever. But even as simple as braids are, it's a way of healing for me and a way of like acknowledging my blackness. This journey for me is ongoing. And sometimes those voices get loud again. And I want to be like everyone else around me. And I live in Utah and that's a lot of whiteness. But I love myself and I'm proud of who I am. and I am unlearning my internalized racism and learning to embrace my blackness one step at a time.

[00:10:01]So, that's one other example. But before I get into uh the other conversation I want to talk about, I saw a comment I want to address. Where is he? Um Kevin said, "This is 100% ingratitude. What black family took her in? Her hair looks fine." I don't know about the hair. Her hair looks fine. But um Kevin is saying people are being ungrateful. I'm I'm assuming it's the other girl that I just showed maybe. Um but Kevin is making a point that another black family didn't take her in so she should be grateful.

[00:10:37]She has no gratitude, right? Uh the thing is two things can be true at the same time. You can want to you as a person want to adopt someone because you want kids but also you want to help kids so that they find a home which is great awesome good for you. You adopt them but when you adopt them there can still be another side where you have responsibilities. You're taking up on yourself responsib more responsibility.

[00:11:05]Kids are responsibilities for someone like you don't even have to have kids to know how much of a responsibility it is to raise one kid. Forget about three, four, five, one kid. It is so much like you are taking upon yourself not just uh the burden of educating them, paying for their school fees, paying for their shelter, their food, uh paying for their clothes, um everything financially but also you are taking on a responsibility that you are saying I will raise this person, teach them right from wrong, take care of them in every way possible.

[00:11:46]possible until they're adults and they leave my house. That is what uh guardian being a guardian is taking care of someone raising them. So, you're telling me, right, if someone adopts a kid, they should just be grateful. Even if they didn't do their uh their work as a parent, even if they didn't teach them to love themselves, even even if they didn't send them to a school and they just let them, you know, waste their life in the house, even if they didn't do what needs to be done, they should be grateful they were adopted. I disagree with you because there's always a way to do things the right way. And if we think we're adult enough to adopt a whole human being and raise them, we also need to take responsibilities. And I disagree with that fact. But um yeah, I wanted to mention that. But there are even horrible worse stories out there. Um I mean this guy just mentioned that he adopted a kid from Ethiopia, right? It's his kid is Ethiopian from Africa. Um there are stories which we've covered on this channel. uh they adopt kids for the wrong reasons. Not because they wanted kids, but also they want to use it as a social status as a status where look at me especially after Angelina Jolie adopted kids from Africa. I guess Madona followed and then it became a thing where um it's like a status symbol now not because they care about them that much. It's it's to show that look at me.

[00:13:17]I'm such a humanitarian. I love like being good and I'm a good human being.

[00:13:24]So I'm adopting this kids from improvished world part of the world and so on and so forth. So that there's even worse stories. There's even worseer uh story that we've covered here. They adopted this uh this kid. I believe she was a girl from Ethiopia and she was found unal alived because the two white parents unalived her. I mean there are stories like that too. I'm not trying to focus on like the worst of the worst, but there's that as well. I I don't think um we should just tell these kids after they grow up and tell us their experience and how horrible it was. You should just get over it. Like just get over it. Should be thankful and grateful because there's always a right way and a wrong and a wrong way to do things.

[00:14:08]Speaking of that, um, another girl that was adopted speaks on her experience and hers is even worse because her own family that adopted her were racist. Watch this clip.

[00:14:23]Talk about the things that I go through every single day. And one of them is struggling with being adopted.

[00:14:34]Um, so this isn't part two or anything, but this is just something that like blows my mind about my adoption family and how they treat me. Um, sometimes I just feel like I got adopted for the wrong reasons.

[00:14:53]Completely wrong reasons. I just feel like I got adopted for the show. for the oh you are such a good person for adopting a girl a black child from a foreign country you know you see how that would look yeah exactly so I definitely think I got adopted for the wrong reasons and here is why my family is awful when it comes to the nword they have all said the n word I've never had my mom say So, this girl, and her video is long, but she goes on to say she's never heard her mom say it, but her whole entire family, except for her mom and her sister, say the n-word in front of her, make her feel uncomfortable. And you know, these people's experience is valid. Like, you can't say that um you should just be grateful and shut up.

[00:15:47]They can still talk about the experiences they've had, the good, the bad, the worse, and uh that's that. It's their experience. And as you heard the man that started this conversation at least in this in this topic right now uh is the man uh David the American uh political commentator.

[00:16:04]He is as we speak 57 years old and he admitted that all his life all his entire life in America he did not know racism existed. That's a bold statement.

[00:16:19]Until it happened to his own adopted daughter, until it came to his house and knocked on his door, this man was living in America, not caring or not knowing or according to him, quote, in a bubble, what happens to his fellow Americans, black people? Um, and now is when he's like, "Oh, came to my house. Now I've changed my mind." Actually, that's how this conversation started. I don't know if you've noticed, but that's how the whole conver if you're just joining and you missed it. That's how the conversation started. The man was saying he's changed his mind on certain topics.

[00:16:56]Let me show you if you just >> Are you a conservative?

[00:16:58]>> Yes. Now, I have changed on a couple of things. I have absolutely changed in my perception of the severity, lingering severity of race problems in this country. I've absolutely changed on that. And a lot of that is due to a very very distinct and personal experience.

[00:17:13]We adopted a child from Ethiopia. This might sound super naive, but when we adopted our youngest daughter, I did not have in my mind that she was going to come to my community and have a substantially different experience as a child than my two older kids. But by golly, she had a substantially different experience there.

[00:17:34]>> Yeah. So, this is this is exactly what we're talking about. The parents adopt these kids and they raise them and they make them believe that racism doesn't exist. Race, the the topic, the conversation of race actually doesn't even matter cuz, you know, it's non-existent. And the kids grow up thinking it doesn't matter. It's it's just um you know, something that people debate about and it happens somewhere else and it doesn't concern them. and they go out in in the world especially after they start you know uh maybe school, high school, college and then the society treats them differently. That's when it hits them.

[00:18:19]That's when the confusion starts asking questions, asking like I just showed you a video of a girl that never knew what the n-word meant and it was directed at her and people were calling her the n-word and she just didn't understand.

[00:18:34]She thought it was just a word. She was sheltered. No one in her home took the time to explain to her, to warn her, to educate her, to um to equip her. It's like, you know, information equips you.

[00:18:47]When someone calls you out of your name, it's not going to hurt as much cuz you are prepared. You understand what's going on. Even worse, when you're not prepared, you might even think you're you you it's it's a joke. It's not uh directed at you. Exact thing what exact thing that happened to this young lady.

[00:19:09]Someone else had to call her to the side and tell her this is actually the meaning and that is why it's offensive and this is what that that's what's happening and that's why you're being called this nword. Now put yourself in those kids shoes how much this is going to impact them and how it's going to um manifest itself in their day-to-day life as they grow up. I know people like to minimize others experience, especially if they don't go through it and it's hard for them to to fathom. It's like it's such a small thing. No, it's not.

[00:19:47]It's really not a small thing. It's something that will stick with you for the rest of your life. And it's something that you have to uh unlearn in order to uh live your life to the fullest. And I don't think it's fair to the kids is the point. and those that are interested um in adopting a different race, do your research. That's all we're saying. I'm saying you need to um do a better job than some of these parents that I feel like have failed their own children, adoptive children that they say they care about and they um took in their homes. You have to do your due diligence. In my opinion, that is what I have to say about that. Um, let me get into the comments.

[00:20:35]Um, I love myself said is the only reason why white people will see racism is because they're in proximity to black people rather friends or adopting. Yeah, that's the thing though. That's that's my question. How do you unless unless when people are sharing their experience with you, you just don't care or you don't believe them. You think they're just lying. Unless it happens to you yourself personally, like it happens to your do adoptive daughter. You cannot tell me that it has never crossed your mind or someone closer to you, a friend or even social media. You have the TV. People are always talking about this topic and how it's affecting them. How people are brutally unalived because of the color of their skin. How people are profiled in stores in in hospitals because of the color of their skin. How I mean the stories are there. It's just you choose not to believe it or you never cared because it had nothing to do with you.

[00:21:40]You just didn't care. And that's for most people. If it doesn't happen to to you, you think it happens somewhere else. It's none of my business until it knocks on your door. And humanity will benefit from caring about others. Even if it's not directly affecting you, if you stood up for those that were impacted, even if it doesn't affect you tomorrow, maybe you'll be spared. maybe you know those same people will stand up for you and come together and um help your cause too. But yeah, I think that's that's how it is for for most people. Um yeah, I love myself said right. It has to cross their minds or they don't care.

[00:22:27]And I I think that's that's pretty much what this story is in my opinion. Um uh because I mean this man as I said is is not a nobody. He his profession his actual profession requires him to know more about his country and what goes on in his country. So now is when it's hitting him. And at least to his credit, to give him credit, he says he has changed his views, some of his views because of his lived experience and what is happening to his daughter. So at the very least, he's learning because some parents, there's this girl I actually um wanted to bring her one of her videos, but I couldn't find it. Um she is also an adopt an adoptee. A white family adopted her. Now I think she says um she has cut ties. she doesn't even, you know, visit them or like she I think they call it I forgot the word. There's this word kids use, not just adoptive kids, adopted kids, but like um children when they cut ties with family members.

[00:23:37]Someone um write in the comment section in the chat for me. Um they call it something something like no contact. I think that's what they call it. They they go no contact because they no longer want to associate with their family members or they don't want to have a conversation, chat with them.

[00:23:53]they just disconnect with their family members. So, this girl did the same thing and she some of the stories she tells about how she was raised and how she was raised to hate herself and how she even wishes she was never adopted and she was left in whatever foster care she was in. It was that bad. So, yeah, there are um so many stories like that.

[00:24:20]So, I think it it's worth having a conversation in order to help the future adopes, at least their experience could be a little bit different, you know. And another thing that I've noticed, most of these kids say, I mean, now they're adults, they say they wish their parents um had some sort of connection with the black experience, at least introduced them to an auntie or an uncle or someone from the black community so that they grow up knowing about their culture because after they grow up, they feel disconnected and that also brings another level of, you know, trauma and confusion and that could be helpful, you know, to um help the kids have that connection with their roots.

[00:25:12]Um DJ said he looks like his parents grew up during Jim Crow. I don't believe him.

[00:25:21]Yeah. So, a lot of people are raising this same question and plus he said he's from south the south. So, I mean, um, yeah. Um, valid question. Um, Danielle said, "Why would black people be profiled in stores? Do we really need to ask that question?" I don't I don't I don't think so. I don't who's asking?

[00:25:41]Maybe someone else in the comment section asked, but yeah. Um, that's that's the reality that we are living in. And you know earlier I mentioned it's as simple as learning how to care for for them for um you know what are their needs, their skin needs, their hair needs and there was a time where um this it was like I think a picture day uh from a school and it went viral because the kid looked so unkempt like the her hair was not moisturized. It was all over the place. You can just tell no one took time to take care of her hair when she went to to school to take that picture. And it raised a question like why would you as a mom want to raise a black kid if you're not even willing to invest in your skills and to learn on how to care for her hair? I mean, obviously, no one expects you to know everything, right? at the same time, but at the very least, if you see that kid as your own kid and you love them and you care for them, you want the best experience for them. And there's a mom as well, you know, to to play um I don't like saying devil's advocate, but to talk about the other side, there's this white mom on TikTok. I don't know her name. Um, she makes content making her adopted black kids hair and how much time she invests learning on how to care for it, take care of it, wash it, brush it. It's and she does such great job on like braids.

[00:27:23]How did she learn? Because she wanted to learn and she wanted to make sure her daughter is taken care of. That's how she learned. There's no other difference between this mom and the other mom that was being dragged on social media. The only difference is one really wanted to do her best for her adopted daughter and one was like, I give up. It's too hard to take care of.

[00:27:46]It's not like mine. So, yeah, I'm just going to leave you.

[00:27:50]worst comes, you can still contact someone, a braider, a hair stylist, um someone from the community and make sure that this girl is taken care of. She didn't even do that. So, um yeah, there's there's a deeper conversation.

[00:28:05]It's not just about this man's experience. It's an experience that uh most kids after they grow up, they share their stories and it's similar. It's mostly similar. That's why I wanted to bring some of their um testimonies or you know stories, experiences as well.

[00:28:22]Um so okay um John said some of them are getting money for being this kid bringing these kids into their homes. I think um for foster homes that is also true I think because the girl um that was unalived if I'm if my memory serves me correct um because years ago I think they were like foster families I'll have to I I don't want to um give the wrong information. I need to look back at that story. But yeah, they were definitely getting money off of it and they were I think they were getting money even after she they analyed her until her body was discovered. They were still making money or taking money on behalf of her I think for a while until um you know they were blasted and um I think they were waiting prison time or they're already in prison and this happened uh years back. So yeah, I don't remember the details of it but yeah there are horror stories as well. This is at least like a story of the the until his daughter is of age.

[00:29:35]She grows up and tells us a different story from his perspective. What he's telling us is they brought her into a loving home. They never thought that their community, the their their schools, their um society would not treat her badly. They were wrong. She were treat she was treated badly and she faced racism. Hence why now he has changed some of his views on uh race relations. Right? So this is in fact some of the best case scenario because she had a loving home according to him and it's the outside world that taught her to you know taught her that they're going to treat her differently. Um yeah.

[00:30:16]So yeah, I love myself said I wanted to open up an orphanage in Africa as um my own children because I love children and my guy wants 22 children but only getting two from me. Although I I I don't get what you're trying to say, but it's the first part I understood. He said he wanted to open an orphanage in Africa, which is a great thing. Um, you know, it's always a a beautiful thing when we hear kids that need a home get a home, right? Because there are so many kids suffering and um, you know, they're either orphans um they're in their parents pass away and they're sent to uncle's auntie's house which they're facing cruelty and abuse. So, it's always wonderful to see kids finding a home.

[00:31:08]But with that being said, hopefully they find a home that is prepared to take care of them the right way, right? That in the way that they deserve, every children, every child deserves. Um, yeah. So, that is the topic for today. Um, what are your thoughts? I would love to hear from you. Um, especially if you're an adopted kid uh and it was a different race. How was it? Did they um do you think they did their best to bring you up and send you off into this cruel world? You know, you were you be better prepared? And if not, what can others do that want to adopt that their hearts is in the right place? They just don't know it. They just don't know how to do it in the right manner, the right way. Let us know down below. Um I'll see you on the next one. Stay blessed.

[00:32:06]Bye.