THIS EPISODE SHOULDN'T BE THIS FUNNY! | Ricky Gervais Show

[00:00:00]Today we are back with another episode of our favorite show, The Ricky Jery Show. We are on episode four and this one is called Dolphins.

[00:00:12]Whatever the [ __ ] that means. Uh, we're going to find out today. But before we get into that, I wanted to officially announce this is the first video I am recording after launching my Patreon.

[00:00:22]So, if you guys are interested in checking out the Patreon, the link is in the description and also in the link at the top of the channel right below my name with all the other links and fun stuff in there. Finally, I'm very excited. Uh, the Patreon is officially live. Obviously, on there, there will be less edited reaction videos and any videos that get blocked on YouTube for copyright will end up on the Patreon.

[00:00:45]So, it's going to be a fun extra way for me to get more reaction [music] videos that are obviously less edited and also a fun one for me to [music] post things that get blocked on YouTube. Uh, love you YouTube. Love you. Much love. I love you very much. Make sure to go check out the Patreon down in the description below if you are interested in joining that. And while you're down there, make sure to go down, smash the subscribe button, smash the like button. [music] We are trying to hit 30K by July 1st.

[00:01:12]And I'm not going to lie, we're getting kind of close. I don't really know if we're going to do it, but that's okay.

[00:01:16]You know what? 30K is still the goal by July 1st. That's all that matters. Let's get into this video. As always, let me know down in the comments anybody else you'd like to see me react to or you want me to continue watching the Ricky Jay Show. Uh, let me know. Let's go.

[00:01:33]Mentally prepare for this >> Ricky Jet Show with me, Ricky Jves, Steven Merchant. Hello. And the little roundheaded buffoon that is Carl Pilington.

[00:01:42]>> All right. Love the intros.

[00:01:46][music] >> Um, I got a text from Carl yesterday, Steve.

[00:01:52]>> A text from Carl? Yeah.

[00:01:53]>> Yeah.

[00:01:54]>> Um, I'll just read it to you. Oh, >> yeah.

[00:01:57]>> Okay. See you tomorrow to Mars for a face rub at 6:30 then. No bum tubes though. So, I was intrigued and I called Cars said, "I think you've just sent me a text by mistake." What's the explanation of that?

[00:02:10]>> Me mate, right, Ruffle? He just said, he said, "You know, there's things [snorts] that go on in life that you need to experience."

[00:02:17]>> Yeah.

[00:02:17]>> He said, "Just just pop along." And I didn't say yes straight away.

[00:02:20]>> What's a face rub? You mean a facial where you lay down?

[00:02:23]>> You just clean your face with a flannel and that you're going to go lie down with another man and have your face.

[00:02:28]>> Well, no. This is what I was saying to him. There's a couple of questions. I didn't just say yes straight away. I questioned it. I said, "Well, I'm not that happy with this." So, I said, "Look, there's nothing weird going on here, is there?" I said, "It's not a house, is it? It's a proper clinic and that." Said, "Yeah, it's proper. you wear a a dressing gown and that I said, "Well, I'm not that."

[00:02:43]>> So, he's already got you in the dressing gown.

[00:02:44]>> Yeah. Well, I haven't agreed to that.

[00:02:45]Today, I've worn a little round polar neck sort of jumper so I don't have to take it off. It's not going to get in the way of me face. I made sure I didn't wear a shirt with a collar. I'm not taking this off. They can put the dressing gown on top of this.

[00:02:57]>> Right.

[00:02:58]>> I don't know if it's a woman who rubs me head. Don't know if it's a bloke or or what.

[00:03:01]>> Well, the thing is, you get extra, don't you, for your face rub because your face goes all the way back over the top of your head down to the back of your neck.

[00:03:08]So, you got a big face, haven't you? All I was saying to him is I'll have the face rub, but I don't know if if once you're in there, >> right, >> they try and sell you the old uh >> the old the bum tube thing.

[00:03:20]>> What's the bum tube?

[00:03:21]>> Are you talking euphemism? What are you talking about?

[00:03:23]>> The thing where they pop a tube in.

[00:03:25]>> I could tell you right now, I don't think you're talk I don't think you're thinking about the same thing. Um, okay. I mean, he refuses to uh take his clothes off, but you know, that's okay.

[00:03:36]We respect it. You know, it's fine. put coffee in your belly and it cleans you out and that >> an enema. Would you have that?

[00:03:43]>> I don't I'm not I don't want I don't I don't think you need to just because I think I've said to you before about >> you know you don't need to be that clean inside. You know what I mean? I don't mind washing your face, [laughter] >> but what occasion do you need where you're that cleaned out?

[00:03:57]>> You know what I mean? And it's always a clear tube and that and you see all the stuff whizzing past. I don't understand why it's clear. I don't know why you got to see what's coming out of here.

[00:04:05]What the [ __ ] is this man talking about?

[00:04:08]The colonoscopy. What the [ __ ] is he on about? That does not happen at facials.

[00:04:15]This does not happen at facials. And and I mean at colonoscopies, you're asleep.

[00:04:19]You're not uh you're not conscious. You don't know what the [ __ ] is going on.

[00:04:24]>> You know, like the generation game, making notes of what's whizzing past.

[00:04:28]Forget it.

[00:04:31]>> Oh my god. I can't believe >> I was watching different TV. saw an amazing documentary. It was called Tribes. This guy and he goes and lives with different tribes around the world.

[00:04:39]These small little indigenous people and uh there was one he went to he went to Papa New Guinea in Indonesia. Right, Carl? He lived with the Comi tribe.

[00:04:48]>> All right. Now, this Papa New Guinea is an extraordinary place because it is one of the only places left on Earth that hasn't been fully explored. There are parts of it missing.

[00:04:57]>> It's just blank on the map cuz they they've never explored there. They don't know what's there. They don't know what's going on. So firstly, that must already freak you out. Imagine that 21st century, they have no idea what's going on down there.

[00:05:08]>> But do do they need to know if there's nothing going on?

[00:05:12]>> Well, they they don't know what's going on. There could be stuff going on.

[00:05:16]>> No, but there's there's no chance that they'll go, we haven't been over there.

[00:05:18]And someone goes and there's like an Arndale, [laughter] nothing's going to be there, is it? So there's no >> Well, I'll tell you what is there. Okay, there's these various small tribes. Some of these tribes are still cannibals eating people from other tribes. Do they know they could move on? Have they got a telly?

[00:05:32]>> Oh, >> or have they have they seen a telly and gone, I'm not up for that. Or >> did this man just ask if they have a television?

[00:05:45]>> Bro, we're talking about tribes that probably barely like communicate with each other. Oh my god. Okay.

[00:05:52]>> Or are they just are they saying >> it's not the Amish?

[00:05:55]>> They haven't chosen.

[00:05:56]>> But what is the difference between the Amish and these people? Well, the Amish are group of people that choose to live in that way. These people are just essentially untouched by civilization. I mean, they do have interaction with civilization and people do come there, but they they still live in this very very almost prehistoric way.

[00:06:13]>> They did buy a telly, but there was nothing on cuz there isn't any uh broadcasters.

[00:06:17]>> They couldn't plug it in.

[00:06:18]>> Yeah. [laughter] An absolute nightmare. But there was one guy, okay, now he uh said that his brother was dying. This was a couple of years ago, right? His brother was dying.

[00:06:26]He said to his dying brother, "What happened? Why are you dying?" This guy said it was a bloke in another village.

[00:06:30]Okay, he goes over to the other village.

[00:06:31]He kills this other bloke, right? He eats him or eats bits of him.

[00:06:36]>> The other village gets a bit annoyed.

[00:06:37]They go, "What's going on? Why did you kill this bloke?" They went, "Sorry about that." Right? They said, "Well, you need to make it up to us." He gave him a pig.

[00:06:44]>> They said, "The pig's not enough." They gave him five pigs. So, five pigs apparently made up for the fact that they' killed one of them. They said, "Well, hang on. What you What you going to do with this wife?"

[00:06:52]>> Why were they bartering? Why didn't they just get the police in and say, "What's what's going on?" Oh my [ __ ] god.

[00:06:58]Yeah. Yeah. What? Why didn't they call him Kjack? Cuz he'd have sorted out, wouldn't he? What I mean is, right, >> bro. Does this guy actually listen to things that they say?

[00:07:09][laughter and gasps] I swear this this this is like the one friend you have that you're having a conversation and they're like 10 years behind the conversation. Like, what are you talking about? Oh my [ __ ] god. miles away from anything.

[00:07:25]But it doesn't sound like the great place to live, right? Could they not move?

[00:07:30]>> Could one of them go? Do you know what?

[00:07:32]I'm sick of this.

[00:07:34]I'm move or [laughter] whatever and go to a proper city. How far away >> Oh my god.

[00:07:38]>> Is this um these papa people um [laughter] to to to the next to the next >> They're like the Smurfs. They're very like the Smurfs.

[00:07:46]>> How how many miles away from a like a place with a normal life going on?

[00:07:50]>> But think about this, Carl. Firstly, they don't speak the language.

[00:07:54]>> So, they don't have any practical skills. They've got no experience of civilization. So, even if they chose to go and live in one of these cities, what can they do? How can they function?

[00:08:02]>> I think there's some bacteria that has better lives than that.

[00:08:09]>> That's got to [screaming] be offensive.

[00:08:11]Why?

[00:08:14]>> Okay. How about This is the one of the weirdest things. [laughter] This is one of the weirdest things. Right.

[00:08:21]Come back. Come back.

[00:08:22]>> Choose to go and live in one of these cities. [laughter] What can they do? How can they function?

[00:08:27]>> I think there's some bacteria that has better lives than that. [laughter] >> That's got to be offensive.

[00:08:35]>> Oh my [ __ ] god.

[00:08:40]>> Just said there's probably bacteria that lives [ __ ] better than that. Oh my [ __ ] god. Well, maybe in our eyes, Carl, but not in theirs. They don't give a [ __ ] Oh my god. This This episode is off to a fantastic start. I actually want to know where this is. Papa New Guinea.

[00:09:02]I know it's like an island or something like that. Oh my god. I genuinely cannot believe what I just heard. Oh, it's like Oh, it's next to Australia. Oh wow.

[00:09:12]Okay. Next to the Philippines.

[00:09:14]Australia. Okay. Over there. Over there.

[00:09:16]Far. Okay. See, we learned something new today, guys.

[00:09:21][laughter] >> Oh my god.

[00:09:25]>> Okay, how about This is the one of the weirdest things. This is one of the weirdest things, right? [laughter] >> I'm sorry.

[00:09:32]>> An entire people, an entire race.

[00:09:35]>> Just dismiss.

[00:09:36]>> I'm not I'm not having a go, but I'm just saying I I wouldn't fancy it is what I mean.

[00:09:40]>> But they don't know another world. How can they imagine that they could Oh, I'll tell you what. This is boring. I'm tired of of hunting for food and and eating fish from the river. I'll tell you what, I'd like a world where there's iPods and room service. I'm going to go and move to New York. They're not thinking like that, are they? Cuz they don't know about this world. People go to these places on holiday now. They like a little bit of danger. They like to see how the others live.

[00:10:01]>> So, all I'm saying is we know they exist.

[00:10:03]>> The Papa people, maybe people aren't going there. You know, it doesn't sound like the best place. You know, I can't imagine it having a a tourist board or anything, right? But would they accept me if I popped over there and you know with Suzanne in Papa?

[00:10:17]>> Well, okay. This is this is one of the things that they they do, okay, which is a tradition you may have to do.

[00:10:23]>> These uh comi, right? They invert their penises. So, they push their penises back up inside their bodies like a sock.

[00:10:31]>> What for?

[00:10:32]>> Well, keep it out of the way.

[00:10:33]>> What is you talking about?

[00:10:36]>> What? Well, if you're running through the undergrowth chasing a a hog, you don't want it clapping away, you know.

[00:10:41]But >> but it's also become a kind of ceremonial thing. So if you were over there, you may well have to try it yourself.

[00:10:45]>> You would have to try it yourself. If you went there, you'd have to try it yourself.

[00:10:48]>> But even caveman I'd >> Okay, wait. I'm sorry. I'm trying to understand how the [ __ ] that's even like possible.

[00:10:59]So he said they invert their penises.

[00:11:07]>> I need to hear more. What are you going about?

[00:11:10]>> Why Why haven't they Oh, >> wait, wait, wait, wait. What?

[00:11:13]>> Ceremonial thing. So, if you were over there, you may well have to try it yourself.

[00:11:16]>> You You would have to try it yourself.

[00:11:17]If you went there, you'd have to try it yourself.

[00:11:18]>> But even Caveman had little pants on.

[00:11:20]Why? Why haven't they >> slow down rewind >> again? You've been watching the Flintstones.

[00:11:28]>> No, no, no. It's just, you know, >> is it a leopard skin pair of pants?

[00:11:30]That's actually quite a Go on.

[00:11:32]>> But, but it's a well-known fact that they wore like bear pants or whatever.

[00:11:37]>> Bear pants. Bear pants. No, no, no, no, no. Listen, you you are a qualified uh anthropologist. So what um >> I mean that you know when whenever you see him on footage or in a museum >> footage see black and white as well is it caveman footage.

[00:11:54]>> You always see him wearing a little bit of fur fur little pants and that. So what I'm saying is even though what what year is it to these um people in the woods?

[00:12:03]>> I mean I don't know what this conversation is anymore. I he's just clutching the straws. It's mine. It's it's like um a fly his mind, isn't it?

[00:12:13]It's just buzzing around. It's trying to find a window. It it it is just hitting against pieces of information, but they're just off days to [laughter] >> Oh, we love you, Carl, but oh my god, you're something else. I'm still trying to imagine the inverted penises, by the way. I'm like having a hard time trying to figure out how the [ __ ] that works. I would imagine. I mean, he said that these people are in contact with civilization, but like very very very small amounts of people. Like, who would want to go there? And why? I mean, no offense, but you're literally going into a place where they eat people like you.

[00:12:59]>> I was uh shopping with K before Christmas and we went around sort of Piccadilly and St. James's and those really beautiful shops >> around there and I went in one shop. We had to um ring a bell to enter. Yeah.

[00:13:09]They came down and it's like a iconoclastic sort of shop and they they found things from churches and [music] nearly all Russian 16th century pieces onwards. This beautiful uh uh carvings and and paintings and statues. And I went, "Oh, it's beautiful." And as I was looking around, I heard Carl sidle up to the bloke and go, "What's the newest thing you've got here?"

[00:13:30]>> Yeah, sure. That's his first thought. I mean, that is the wrong question to ask of a man who's clearly in antiques. Um, proud of the fact he's got 16th century kind of classic Russian stuff to ask.

[00:13:42]What's the newest thing you've got here?

[00:13:43]I mean, what sort of question is that?

[00:13:45]Oh, I don't know. Probably the doorbell.

[00:13:46]I don't know what what does he >> No, no, no. I mean, I'm not going to lie. It's I'm actually going to defend Carl Hill. It's not a bad question. I mean, the newest thing he could have is from like the 18th century, and it could be interesting. I don't know. Hey, calm down. I mean, the newest thing, if we're talking like if he's like, "What's like literally the thing you bought yesterday?" Then, yeah, maybe the doorbell. But I get his question. Okay.

[00:14:08]>> My shirt. What What were you hoping for?

[00:14:11]>> I get it.

[00:14:11]>> I think it's an all right question cuz he was saying there's loads of old stuff in there and he kept going on about the old stuff.

[00:14:17]>> Yeah.

[00:14:17]>> Do you want me to say what's what's the newest thing you've got?

[00:14:20]>> And what was >> you know what he said to the other question he asked him? He said, "How often do you get new stuff in?" And I said to him, "Why did you ask that?" He said, "What I was thinking, if you got antiques and you sell it all, what's left?

[00:14:32]Like someone's going to sell all the antiques in the world cuz they're not make He said, "Cuz they're not making any new stuff." What does that mean?

[00:14:38]They're not making any new stuff.

[00:14:40]>> But I know for a fact, no one's ever going to go in there and buy the lot anyway. I mean, I've never seen anything like it. And not at any point in me life, and I don't think it'll ever happen, will I go, I need some old Russian wood.

[00:14:52]>> It was brilliant. Steve, it was beautiful. It's amazing stuff. There's stuff it's there's them um uh these things uh from the 16th century of sort of like saints and monks and they're carved and >> there's loads of it. It's just all piled up. No one's interested. If I was him, I'd go, "Do you know what? I'm into this, but no one else is. Close shot because seriously, it's just piled up.

[00:15:14]Piles upon piles of like old bits of wood with pictures on it and that just think of a man 400 years ago that carved this. That carved this, you know."

[00:15:23]>> No, but nobody wants it. Do they? I've never heard anyone say, you know, oh, [laughter] look, it's my birthday coming up. I tell you what I'd love.

[00:15:29]>> What?

[00:15:30]>> Bit of old Russian wood.

[00:15:31]>> It doesn't doesn't happen.

[00:15:32]>> 400y old piece.

[00:15:33]>> That's what I'm saying. I've never heard anyone saying it. Like, I've never overheard someone saying it. You don't know.

[00:15:38]>> I understand his point, but at the same time, like it's also history. Like, it's so cool to see those things, but I mean, I wouldn't buy those things either.

[00:15:47]Yeah. I mean, I I mean, I agree and I Yes and no. I guess >> the Russian shop is here. [laughter] >> And this is in London where the rates are high. There was this thing, right, Steve? Uh them old drawings on like >> it was like a panel from a church that someone had that painted and I think it was like, you know, from sort of like 1590 or something and it was this picture of this uh this saint, wasn't it?

[00:16:13]>> Said 1590. Could be from any time really. So there's this one there, right, leaning up against the wall.

[00:16:18]>> And uh I most of them in there was that Stalin bloke, right?

[00:16:22]>> But there was this little Can I just start with there? Lennin.

[00:16:25]>> Right. All right, then.

[00:16:26]>> Yeah.

[00:16:26]>> So, so he was on all these bits of wood [music] and stuff, but I saw this other little face, right? Little fell with a beard, right?

[00:16:32]>> So, uh I said, "Who's this bloke here?"

[00:16:35]>> He said, "Oh, uh the story there, right?" He said, "Uh, it's this little fell and he got mugged back IN RUSSIA."

[00:16:41][laughter] >> THIS IS RIGHT, is it? This is what he was saying. He said he got m that term that I love that that term in in a 16th century Russian wood. Oh, no. I'm being mocked. So, so he he got >> he got happy slapped >> and uh and and he said, "I've had enough of this, right?" And he went to live in the woods, right? Made like a little shed, stayed there. People went to visit him and and like if you got a problem, you knock on his door and you go, "I'm sick of it." And he say, "Yeah, I know what you mean. I've moved out of the city and what have you." And he'd make them feel better and then they go again.

[00:17:13]Now, >> what >> why is that?

[00:17:15]>> Okay.

[00:17:18]Sure.

[00:17:24]Sure.

[00:17:25]>> Man got a plaque. [laughter] >> If he was around now, there's no way he'd have a bit of wood with his face on it is what I'm saying. If someone had got fed up with living in London or New York or whatever, and they go, I'm going to go and live in the woods. People wouldn't visit him and he wouldn't get a piece of wood with his face on is what I'm saying. But this man is selling it for [laughter] about I think it was about 750 quid for this bloke's head.

[00:17:50]>> But the chances are that this is either a well-known Russian folktale or it may even be a piece of classic Russian music.

[00:17:56]>> He's a saint. He was a saint.

[00:17:58]>> Everybody was a saint years ago. That seems to be like thrown about, don't it?

[00:18:02]He was a saint now. Name him one now.

[00:18:04]Yet this fell lived in a woods in a hut.

[00:18:06]Oh yeah, that's St. John or whatever.

[00:18:08]>> He's not a saint. He's done nothing. If anything, he's sort of said, I can't be bothered with living in a city with everyone else. Everyone else has got to put with it, but I can't pull with it.

[00:18:15]I'm going to live in the woods.

[00:18:16]>> [ __ ] everyone else.

[00:18:16]>> Well, if you can't p with it, you're not good enough, are you? You've got no stamina. [laughter] >> And yet he gets a plaque is what I'm saying. It's annoying.

[00:18:24]>> Who would you like to Who would you like to see get a plaque in the modern world?

[00:18:27]>> That's a great question.

[00:18:27]>> Who deserves a plaque in your opinion?

[00:18:28]>> That's a great question.

[00:18:30]>> Probably like nurses and that who who do a lot of bad things that I think I couldn't do that. Carrying lungs about and all that. [laughter] >> Carrying lungs about.

[00:18:38]>> No, but I I couldn't do you know what I mean? That's That's one job that me wanted me to be a doctor.

[00:18:46]>> What was she thinking?

[00:18:50]>> Didn't fall far from the tree.

[00:18:52]>> Oh. When did she start giving up that dream? At what age did she start going, "K, you don't need to study your books anymore. Go and play with the worms in the garden." When did she sort of like let you off that dream?

[00:19:01]>> Was it the day that she caught you with a spoon up your nose? [laughter] They make so much fun of him. I love it.

[00:19:10]It's so funny. He's like the little brother. I wonder if he actually is the No, it's probably the other guy who's the youngest, huh?

[00:19:18]>> But anyway, talking of emails and that, right? Uh Nick, who's emailed from Australia, right? Mel, >> the monkey news. No, not yet.

[00:19:25]>> He's uh he's he's been going on about dolphins and that problems with dolphins.

[00:19:29]>> What problems?

[00:19:30]>> Oh, here's the dolphins. Um, he's just saying when when that that >> I just realized we haven't even gotten to the dolphin bit. It's been 14 minutes. I've been [ __ ] laughing my ass off and I just realized we're just getting to the title of this episode now. So, I'm like preparing myself.

[00:19:46]>> Wind happened. [laughter] Um, there was like a bad wind thing going on.

[00:19:51]>> Hold on. Wait a minute. What What bad wind >> um in in America they had that >> Hurricane Katrina.

[00:19:58]>> Yeah.

[00:19:58]>> Right. And there was like a little bay with dolphins in it and with all guns on them and stuff.

[00:20:03]>> Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.

[00:20:04]>> They use dolphins, don't they? They say they're intelligent animal and stuff.

[00:20:08]>> Um, >> and they've got them all like, you know, they've all had the training. They're all like ready for for battle and stuff, >> right?

[00:20:14]>> Got like rifles on them.

[00:20:16]>> What do you mean rifles?

[00:20:18]How do they hold a rifle?

[00:20:19]>> No, it's sort of on a strap. And that >> What do you mean it's on a strap?

[00:20:22]>> I don't know what they k them out with, but they're just ready for war whenever.

[00:20:25]What are >> you talking about?

[00:20:26]>> Listen though, that isn't the point, though. [laughter] Oh, we leave that one, do we? That's not the point. So, let's leave it.

[00:20:30]>> So, this one about >> Yeah. With with rifles and whatever they got on ready for battle and stuff.

[00:20:36]>> Yeah. Ready for battle? Yeah.

[00:20:37]>> The wind comes in.

[00:20:38]>> The wind comes in between >> makes makes a wave and that they get out of the little bay.

[00:20:43]>> Yeah.

[00:20:43]>> Still all kitted out with all you're talking.

[00:20:49]>> Steve, do you want to look at >> There's no way. There's loads of dolphins now swimming round kitted out with guns and that with a strap. How How can a dolphin hold a again? You've been watching Planet of the Apes. Oh, he's trying to talk to us. What's he saying?

[00:21:05]He's saying, "Go ahead, punk. Make my day." You're talking [ __ ] [laughter] >> It's just news to say if if there's dolphins, you know, if you see a dolphin and that, don't go, "Oh, it's friendly."

[00:21:13]Cuz there's some weapons now. [laughter] So, I'm just I'm just read >> What the [ __ ] is this show, bro? WHAT IS THIS SHOW? WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?

[00:21:27]I'm with Ricky on this one, man. What the actual [ __ ] are you talking about?

[00:21:31]First of all, dolphins are very sweet, intelligent animals. And second of all, ain't no [ __ ] dolphin just carrying around a rifle. Like, oh yeah, I got this [ __ ] FROM WALMART. LIKE, WHAT THE [ __ ] ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT, BRO? This is this is this is crazy.

[00:21:48]>> Now, on email, that's that'll cover it in that. So, bollocks. I'm confused how they got that in an email.

[00:21:54]>> Carl, can we have some monkey news before I die?

[00:21:57]>> Oh god, here's the MONKEY NEWS.

[00:21:59]>> OH, CHIMPAN THAT MONKEY NEWSER.

[00:22:04]>> This monkey that was knocking about called Ollie.

[00:22:07]>> It was in this zoo.

[00:22:08]>> Oh no.

[00:22:09]>> Um and it was the only monkey in there, right? And uh it was getting a bit lonely cuz like it was sharing its sort of time with say an elephant and a giraffe and >> No, it doesn't happen.

[00:22:20]>> And they didn't really Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. They do not let me tell you. They do not put chimpanzees in. But it's not true. Share his time with it. It was some kind of flat share.

[00:22:32]They put they put an ad in a student union saying we need, you know, we got two rooms to live.

[00:22:36]>> African mammal wanted specific mammoth.

[00:22:39]>> What I'm saying is there was other elephants for elephants to knock about within that. The monkey >> was the only one there. So what happened is the zookeeper >> felt a bit sorry for him. He he started to sort of get pi with him. So at lunchtime when the zookeeper was sat on the wall having his like ambuties or whatever he'd sort of go right and and it used to come over closer and closer anyway within a month >> oh god >> he was sat on the wall having his lunch with him right >> but anyway so he sat he sat there and as time goes on you know he's sort of >> sat with him most of the day monkeys walking around with him helping feed the other animals and >> no >> but then what happened is the the zookeeper at the end of the night when he's like locking up and stuff >> it'd feel bad because he'd be leaving the zoo.

[00:23:22]>> Okay.

[00:23:22]>> And like Ollie sat there and he's like, "I'll see you tomorrow." And the monkeyy's like, "Yeah, see you later."

[00:23:27]Looking all fed up because he's got home to go to and he's still stuck in his where he's basically [music] working every day.

[00:23:33]>> So the monkey just also speaks on top of everything. He's like, "Yeah, all right.

[00:23:37]Yeah, I'll see you tomorrow." All depressed and stuff. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[00:23:40]Right, right, right. 100%. 100%, Carl.

[00:23:44]100%.

[00:23:46]No doubt in my mind. He's never going home. Right >> now, he's sleeping at work, the man.

[00:23:52]>> So anyway, the the zookeeper goes home, says to his wife, "Look, Ollie's uh having a bit of a time at the moment."

[00:23:57]So she said, "Oh, yeah. What's going on?"

[00:23:59]>> Said, "Well, uh, >> she's looking a bit fed up. You know, he's he's sick of it." So, she said, "Bring him home."

[00:24:05]>> It didn't happen. He's in your head.

[00:24:07]>> So, so she said, "Yeah, bring it home tonight." So, anyway, he's looking forward to going into work. He sees Ollie. He doesn't tell him straight away. [laughter] >> I like it.

[00:24:15]>> It's a surprise for him. It gets to the end of the day.

[00:24:18]>> Yeah.

[00:24:18]>> Anyway, he's like, "Get your coat." He's like, "What >> coat? What do you mean get your coat?"

[00:24:23]>> Whatever the equivalent is, right?

[00:24:24]Whatever you say to a monkey. It was kind of like, you know, >> banana. What the [ __ ] [laughter] >> You coming with me? Sort of. Equivalent, >> right? So, he's going, "Oh, brilliant."

[00:24:30]ANYWAY, >> NO, HE'S NOT. WHAT DO YOU MEAN HE'S GOING BRILLIANT?

[00:24:33]>> HE TAKES IT OVER.

[00:24:33]>> SO, he gets his hat [laughter] and he can't believe he's right. He goes he goes back to the zookeeper's house.

[00:24:40]Everything's going well for about a week and a half treating him really well. He sat there, you know, he's having a brandy at night before he goes to bed.

[00:24:47]So he said to >> this is like this is like that one show with what's what what what there was a show that had this guy No, that was a show with a guy and his dog in a blue chair. Wasn't there another show with a guy and like a monkey like similar to that show? I don't know what I'm talking about, but if you know what I'm talking about, there's like there used to be like a show with like a guy and a monkey and they were like best friends and they would like teach you [ __ ] as a kid or whatever.

[00:25:16]>> Anyways, >> his wife, you're at home all day, right?

[00:25:19]>> Oh jeez.

[00:25:20]>> I'm going to work. I'll leave it with you.

[00:25:22]>> Oh no.

[00:25:23]>> So Ollie stays at home.

[00:25:24]>> Oh no, >> she's not. Anyway, uh, as time goes on, >> little bit of trouble. Whilst the fella's busy at work, Ollie starts getting a little bit cheeky. Tries it on with the misses.

[00:25:36]>> Whoa.

[00:25:37]>> Right.

[00:25:38]>> How does a monkey try on with the misses? Are you talking classic monkey news? And >> how does it try on with >> So, he's a bit drunk. He's He stinks of smoke. He tries it on with the misses.

[00:25:48]How does he try it on with it?

[00:25:49]>> He's I don't know all the detail on >> You don't know any of the details.

[00:25:52]>> I don't know the detail on that bit, but you don't know any other details. I don't know the details on that bit.

[00:25:56]>> I don't know any of the details.

[00:25:57]>> So, what happened? So, while the zookeeper's away, the monkey did play.

[00:26:00]Did the zookeeper's wife reciprocate these affections?

[00:26:03]>> She probably went along with that at first. You know, she's cooking at home, getting the tea ready, that's walking past, punching her ass or whatever.

[00:26:08][laughter] And it's, do you know what I mean? It starts off just like it does, you know, with humans. Starts off as a bit of fun. Before you know it, you know, split up in the end. Anyway, the zookeeper and what's it? I think the monkey stayed stayed with the with the woman.

[00:26:20]>> Sure.

[00:26:22]>> It's all there. It's you the your imagination. You should write stories.

[00:26:28]You should write >> people to look it up. It's look just put in monkey chimp ollie and it's it's all there.

[00:26:49]>> Right. So, um, yeah, bro. Absolutely that happened. Like, there's there's no doubt in my mind. Yeah. I mean, the not only the chimp talking, the chimp having sex with with the zookeeper's wife, you know, the zoo the zookeeper getting it on with the with the chimp having a great time, him drinking and smoking.

[00:27:11]Absolutely true, bro. That was a great like I can't believe you found that online. That's so cool. The fact that your imaginated that your imagination is that bizarre just you know like is kind of a um concerning. Uh no I mean like it's great. It's shows you still have your kids spirit bro.

[00:27:35]I have no idea what I what I just watched and listened to. Um yeah, that was definitely one. These episodes literally from episode one, everyone was telling me these episodes are going to get better. Watch. And all of you guys were so right cuz every episode has become increasingly like more funny and more like jaw-dropping of like what the [ __ ] is happening? What are you talking about? Yeah. So, uh that's going to be it for today's video, uh episode 4 of the Ricky D Show. Make sure to go check out the Patreon down below. I would greatly appreciate it. You know, if you joined, you joined. If not, it's totally fine. I'm still going to be uploading on YouTube. YouTube uploads are not going to be changing at all. Just the Patreon gives me a little bit of extra freedom for the reaction videos and uh copyright claims, [music] etc., etc. I enjoyed this episode quite a bit. I hope you guys did as well. Make sure to go down, smash the like button, smash the subscribe [music] button, comment down below if you want me to continue this series and anybody else you'd like to see me react to. And I will see you guys in the next video. Bye bye. Peace.

[00:28:43]Relax.