Let’s Look at Men Writing Women

Added: 2026-06-02

[00:00:00]I don't want any of your ones in my hole. And meanwhile, the only blood we're focused on is the one rushing to our penis. I kicked up and it's like, "No, girl. You're serving Shark City."

[00:00:10]Hello. Hello. Hello. I'm Cupid and today we're going to be looking at literary [clears throat] masterpieces.

[00:00:17]Things that should be in the library of Alexandria.

[00:00:21]That's the one that burned down, right?

[00:00:23]Because that's what that's where we should do it. That that one. Yeah. So, we're going to be looking at men writing women. And sometimes people write things and you think, "Huh, maybe you didn't pass English. Maybe you didn't pass English because we're bringing about adjectives and nouns and verbs in ways that not even Satan thought possible." So, I guess hats off to you for that.

[00:00:47]Yeah. Today, we're going to look at men writing women. And if you enjoyed this, you should like you should like you should like like and subscribe or something if you want. I don't know. No pressure. Our first post here says, "Besides, take a look at the marks. Got a measure. Got a tape measure. Bordon.

[00:01:02]Don't know who Bordon is. They're much too deep. If a woman made that right-hand one, the woman must have been an Amazon or a fat lady out of a circus.

[00:01:10]Whoever made these prints weighed 13 or 12 stones or else."

[00:01:15]Right, right, right. So, has anyone seen that tweet that's like, "Americans will use literally anything but the metric system?" That's how I feel reading this because why are we using stones?

[00:01:28]12 or 13 stones. My guy, that's not a good metric.

[00:01:34]You We could be talking about either little like pebbles, like stones that you would like throw across the pond or you can mean a [ __ ] boulder. 12 or 13 stones, my guy. That tells me nothing.

[00:01:47]Also, and I'm saying this as a twink who can't lift 50 lbs. That doesn't seem that heavy when I'm thinking of like small stones 13 are like yeah like that seems pretty manageable. So why are you saying that this woman, you know, looks like she's just obese. Looks like she would have been on the first season of what is it? The Biggest Loser, right?

[00:02:08]Like I feel like that's not I am also trying I am trying to imagine this though. Like imagine in court they're presenting this evidence as to why they don't think it could be this woman and they're like, "Well, it can't be her because these footprints were made by a fat ass. These footprints were made by someone so big that even that elephant from Sing who's such an attention hog even she like is not making imprints that deep [singing] >> and you know what do you do like as the as the client you're probably like wait is my body tea wait um and it's like yeah I guess also makes me think of that um post or like that thing where it's like Hello Kitty's like three apples tall and weighs two apples, which by the way, that doesn't seem like a good amount.

[00:03:05]Someone should check in on Hello Kitty.

[00:03:06]This says the line of her cleavage seemed to run clear up to her chin and was deep enough to lose thoughts in huh cleavage up to her chin.

[00:03:21]That's so insane that not even Genchin Impact have had a character with cleavage up to their chin. Not even One Piece has had characters with cleavage up to their chin because I fear that that just doesn't make sense. How are we like not even drag queens, not even Jimbo is walking around with cleavage up to her chin. What does that mean? Are we just like putting our like tits in like 10 push-up bras so they're just like in our face?

[00:03:52]>> Like what? Huh? And I do love the Hi.

[00:03:59]I do.

[00:04:02]Hi, Winnie.

[00:04:04]>> Hi, Winnie.

[00:04:08]Oh god.

[00:04:10]Sorry, my baby. She's just sniffing around. I love her. She's my baby. Um, but yeah, I I love the the phrase hypnotized. Like hypnotized by this chin cleavage, I guess. You know, girls, if you want him to chase after you, we we're going to need to work get a boob job. Not a boob job. Just get a cleavage job. I guess you've got to be like a walking HR violation, though. Like you're going into work and you're getting called and they're like, "Kathy, look, like this is just not appropriate for work. Meanwhile, I'm wearing a turtleneck.

[00:04:50]Sorry. Do you need me to put a bra on my chin? Do I need to grow a beard? Like, what can we do to amend this?"

[00:04:56]Literally, like, you are just so true. This post says it recalled to her the old days in high school when she had a very small bust, but now further maturity and her judo had made her a size 38.

[00:05:16]I can tell a man wrote this because hey, a size 38 doesn't exist.

[00:05:24]A D38, an A30, a B, a C, but a 38, that's not right. I do believe that this is like math and I think that there has to be a letter in there too. And I'm seeing a number, but n a letter n a letter to be seen. I'm assuming they're supposed to be big. I I don't know. 38's a big number, but also I don't know because I am a homosexual and I'm not really familiar with bra sizing, but I do know that there's letters.

[00:05:54]How does he not know that? My guy, like I'm just I'm I'm confused. I'm appal I need to look at that again.

[00:06:06]And what do they mean by her judo? Is she not wearing a bra? That can't be good if she has large, you know, a fully stocked cupboard because you need like, you know, supports for the cupboard. You need like the hinges.

[00:06:21]From what I hear, I don't know anything about building a cupboard or about having a rack because, well, my kitchen came with cabinets, and this kitchen came with no cabinets. Then there she was, shadowy, slender. Her arms, neck, face, legs, stark, white in the night eyee recording. That black shirt that would be torn and bloodied, revealing a deep cleavage and breast that were small enough to be natural, not sculpted. to hear his eyes narrowed short shorts.

[00:06:53]Okay, so a lot to unpack here. Firstly, um we're not that concerned with the blood on her body. We seem to be focusing a lot about the fact that she's got her cleavage showing and she's wearing short shorts. Meanwhile, this girl is covered in what I assume is fresh blood. And meanwhile, the only blood we're focused on is the one rushing to our penis. Where's the decorum? Time and place. and you did it at my birthday dinner. We are not that worried about this woman. And I I'm just I feel like maybe there should be more urgency here because again, why are we so focused on her clothes and not the substance on the clothes and the fact that seemingly this guy wants to probably cover her in another substance, his semen. Um, I will say though, I love that, you know, she's covered in blood, her clothes are tathered, but we are focusing on the most important part at the end, her short shorts, which I do love because they are a sign of the devil. So, I'm I'm really glad that we're bringing awareness to that because I mean, short shorts, they're up there with pop music, Hot [snorts] Topic, booty shorts in that order. That's what's going to send you to hell. So, if you've ever listened to Taylor Swift or walked into a Spencer's, I meant to say Hot Topic, but that too girl, you might as well like sign a lease cuz you're going to live there. [clears throat] And then this, which was written by the same man, sexy clothes, nothing you'd wear into the thorny scrub of the preserve.

[00:08:25]Sandals, so she had lost them running.

[00:08:27]No blood on that white skin. She hadn't waited through the Hawthorne then. How old? 16? No, she decided less. Maybe 14.

[00:08:34]That was how old her daughter had been last time she had seen her. Okay. I don't love that we're calling what a 14-year-old is wearing sexy. I do love that she's at least not covered in blood. I was quite worried because, you know, we've already found one girl covered in blood. I was worried what fluids this other girl was going to be covered in. I thought we were going to have to call an EMT because I am well, I'm worried. Um, and now instead, I'm worried about what this woman is thinking about this child. Again, why are we calling what she's wearing sexy?

[00:09:03]I mean, I know this was a book, but I didn't think I was reading Lolita. This is not okay. I also, why are we just reading these girls for filth? Clearly, we are in a dire circumstance if we waiting through Hawthorne and covered in blood and, you know, our clothes are getting ripped up and yet we're just reading these girls for filth like we're on Drag Race. Girl, this is life or death. I think I haven't read this book, but that's what I'm gathering is that we're in a bit of danger. And yet all we're doing is critiquing their outfits like this is a design challenge. And spoiler alert, girl, it's a survival challenge. So maybe we should stop judging everyone, huh? Suki had an impulse to peel up her cocoa brown wool sweater and unfassen her bra and give this dying man her perky breast to suck.

[00:09:49]But she already had Ed Parsley in her life, and one ry intelligent suffer at a time was enough. Still, Suki's nipples had gone erect beneath her sweater and awareness of her healing powersh right. No. So, what the hell did I just read? Right. I've played Genchin Impact.

[00:10:09]I've played League of Legends.

[00:10:11]And not even those games were as debaucherated, that's not a word, but I'm going to use it as this is. What?

[00:10:21]Your breasts have healing powers.

[00:10:24]Huh? I think you're lying. I think this is a snake oil situation and you're just being like, "Yeah, no, like suck on my titties and like you're going to give I think you're lying.

[00:10:35]I'm sorry." The concept of being a nurse, right, or going into like, you know, the patient's room, they have like terminal cancer and being like, "I can help you, but you're going to have to latch up."

[00:10:49]And um I think even if it did work, there's just some ethics violation laws there. I don't know. I don't I don't think we should be doing this. I do love though that the only thing stopping her here is not the morals of giving an old man her breast and that being well just weird. But the fact that it seems like she already has a bow, which if that's the case, I mean, if let's say I believe her and I think that her breast can [snorts] heal this man. I think her breast is like the cure all for whatever is happening here. I feel like that's a fair trade. I feel like any man would be like, "No, like if he's about to die, like yeah, you can, you know, pucker up.

[00:11:29]He can, you know, get a straw even if he is struggling to, you know, use his mouth." I, you know, I feel like that's a pretty fair trade. Like, you get to suck on my tits and then you get to lit.

[00:11:41]Actually, I feel like you're the woman.

[00:11:42]You're kind of losing out there. You should be monetizing this. I mean, in America, you know, people pay a million dollars for like anything. Actually, I was going to say a thing of insulin surgery. I don't know.

[00:11:55]You pay out the ass for it no matter what. So, I mean, girl, you might as well monetize this, too. I mean, what happens if they dry up? I don't know if they can do that. I mean, it's anatomy that a man wrote. So, also, why are we tingling? Is that a byproduct of the healing powers? Or is it cuz it's cold cuz you took your sweater off or you want to take your sweater off? I don't know. And honestly, I don't want to dive into that. Maybe go see a doctor or a therapist. and in this riveting post. But she was, for the bathroom door didn't altogether close due to the old frame of the house settling over the centuries, and she had to sit on the toilet some minutes waiting for the pee to come. Men, they were able to conjure it up immediately.

[00:12:36]That was one of their powers. Powers that thunderous splashing as they stood lordly above the bowl. Everything about them was more direct. Their insides weren't the maze women's were. Okay, you know, women are always complaining about men. They're always like, "Men don't know about the vagina. Men don't don't know about women's anatomy. Men don't know this. Men don't know that." But did you not just see the scientific article I just read? Clearly, they know. Like, that was just beautiful. You know, he fully captured why women take so long in the bathroom. It's why all the time they'll go like in groups. They'll be like, "Oh, I'm going to the bathroom."

[00:13:10]And then you'll see like a group of women all go together. It's because one of them has to like have a map and like yell the coordinates so that you know the P knows where to go. It's it really is a twoman job, you know. I I don't know how people are able to do it on their own. I assume they have to stick like a flashlight or like something up there because it really is like hard.

[00:13:32]And I feel for women, you know, they just they'll never get to experience what it's like being a man and you can just do it instantly. Like for a woman, you have to start like before you even make it to the bathroom cuz it's just going to take so long. It really is like an art. And I I just have so much like respect for them. Also, wait, completely unrelated. Did you know that ducks have spiral vaginas?

[00:13:54]Fun fact, it's like Yeah, it's like there's a maze in there. Actually, this is kind of what this is like, except you know, the duck one is actually based in reality. This one isn't. And this reads, "They were full and round using the standard measure 3 and 12 mibbs per handful."

[00:14:13]Okay, so I don't know that much about the units of measurement, but I think unless you were going to go academy, that's not a form of measurement. I think if you walked up to the Victoria's Secret model and said, "How many milliboobs am I?"

[00:14:26]They'd say, "What the hell did you just say to me, you creep?" Uh probably because you are a man and you are asking them to fill you up. So I mean but what milliboobs? What does that mean? Men just be saying [ __ ] Men just be making [ __ ] up. Oh my god. We don't know anything about bra sizes. And it's like that's all you guys care about is like what's under the bra. You'd think you'd at least know something about it.

[00:14:54]Like is there like a an equival like a male equivalent like inches per handful? Centimeters per handful for some probably. What's the what's the man equivalent? I mean I guess if you had like some packs you could still have mil I have a story. When I was in elementary school, no middle school, I didn't know the difference between the biceps and the pecs. I thought they were switched and we were playing Pictionary and so in front of the whole um class I drew a guy's nipple like I I drew his pe his pectoral muscle thinking it was a bicep and everyone made fun of me. So I just wanted to share that. But yeah, I don't know. Maybe it is a real thing. I wouldn't know though because if I asked them how many millibs uh per handful I was, they would look me up and down and say, "Bitch, you're not even a quarter.

[00:15:51]You're not even like 0.001. There's nothing here. You're covered. You don't even have a cupboard. The way my nipples stood erect, every follicle on my arms and legs becoming a tiny clitoris.

[00:16:04][sighs] Okay. Um, that sounds awful.

[00:16:09]What if it's a windy day and all of your follicles are suddenly a a glitter Taurus? Like I'm just That would be awful. You're walking around being like a mess honestly. Like literally like a drenching the floor beneath you because Hello O for orgasm. Like I'm that doesn't seem comfortable. I do love the the the vision vision imagery of all of the cells standing at ease like they're in the military which honestly if you're preparing to you know come every time someone touches you yeah you might as well be preparing for war girl I don't know maybe did you just swallow like 10 different aphrodesiacs cuz they're might need to go to a doctor you definitely need to drink a lot of water get some Gatorade some electrolytes like girl I'm worried for you please get some help because that should not be happening. Your arm follicles should not be a clitoris. A glitter taurus. I don't want to read this, but I well I I kind of have to. It was unbelievably hot. I could feel my butthole getting wet for the need of his something inside me. Hot damn it. I was aroused.

[00:17:32]So, I don't know if you know this, but your ass shouldn't be getting wet from arousal.

[00:17:42]I think we might want to check the color of that liquid because I think it's maybe less the arousal and maybe more the Taco Bell.

[00:17:56]Um, I'm scared. What? Also, this is very vulgar, girl. Imagine we're at we're this is a Starbucks and you're sitting here being like, "God, I want to."

[00:18:14]And you know, it's like, "Hey girl, um I'm just trying to give you your Benty iced chai.

[00:18:19]I I don't love the energy rating eating off of you because what?" Also, imagine this girl's like, "God damn, like I'm so wet for you." And he's like, "Really, baby?" And then she turns around and it's just brown. You know, she's thinking she's like serving like she's so pretty cuz everyone's just staring at her ass. She's like, "Am I kicked up?"

[00:18:42]And it's like, "No, girl. You're serving shark city change. I would not want to be in this coffee shop with her." Oh my god. You can see my cat over over there. Yeah.

[00:18:53]No, I also love that it's followed by, "Hot damn, I was aroused."

[00:18:58]Okay, me being in bed and being like, "Hot dog, am I [clears throat] horny as fuck?" Like, huh? We don't need to say that. I can we can we reverse it because what? When she stopped crying, Maline composed herself before the mirror. Her skin looked blotchy. Her breast, of which she was normally proud of, has withdrawn into themselves as if depressed. Meline knew Maline Maline knew that this self appraisal might not be accurate.

[00:19:28]I love that she was just crying and then she was like, "Wait, I need to lock in.

[00:19:33]Am I still a baddie?" And she looked in the mirror and she was like, "No."

[00:19:39]because it reminds me of that one post and it's like a picture of this like gay bluehaired in uh anime boy and it's like when I'm depressed but I still want to serve in case someone walks it or something and so I push my ass up and that's what this is reminding me of because she's crying you know maybe her mother died or something and she's like look yeah my mom's dead but I don't want to kill my social standings too this can't be a twofer so I need to lock the [ __ ] in and put on Fenty highlighter, which I love. I love that for her. Um, I do have a question about the boobs, though. Does that happen when women are sad? Because that's a really good way to know if a girl is lying to you or not.

[00:20:20]You just like grab her boob and see how many milliboobs um it shrunk down because ideally it it should be gone.

[00:20:28]She should be flatchested. She should be m concave. She should be making me look busty.

[00:20:35]Like what? I don't think that happens, but maybe it does, you know? Maybe we need to do more research on this.

[00:20:42]Whatever research we're doing on like curing cancer, no one gives a [ __ ] Flop, we need to be putting research into finding out how the boobs react when women are sad because I think we could maybe learn a lot. Maybe we could figure out, you know, was 9/11 an inside job?

[00:21:04]We don't know because we don't know anything about women's boobs. Not even their how to size them correctly in bras. Apparently, Madame Donglers, whose beauty was quite remarkable in spite of her 36 years, she is so brave for existing and not hiding every single piece of her body. I know that if you put her next to like a a sharpi, all those wrinkles, I wouldn't be able to tell who's who. I would probably think that they're twins, right? Whenever she moves, I know that you can hear the bones creek, right? I know that she her skin is so dry that if I touched it, I would cut myself. I'm She's just so brave for existing as a woman and being sorry, I almost vomited.

[00:21:54]36.

[00:21:55][snorts] In case it wasn't obvious that was a joke, 36 is not old. Oh my god. 36 is not that old. Like that's not even like half your life. For some people that's like, you know, only a third. Like wait, no. I mean, for some people, yeah, but for most people it's not a third. It's probably like um like in between a sec. Like it's [ __ ] I don't know. [laughter] I don't like that. But yeah, she's not that's not old. Why are we acting like it's shocking that a grown woman is pretty? There's quite a lot of those if you go outside, which I'm sensing you maybe don't, but being 36 and attractive, I mean, there's so many women who are 36 and attractive or who are in their 30s and are attractive. I mean, like Taylor Swift, Anne Hathaway, Ariana Grande, Beyonce, you know, I What women are you saying who are 30 and are like ugly?

[00:22:52]Are you just going to family reunions?

[00:22:54]Cuz ideally, you should not be finding those women attractive. I would hope.

[00:22:59]Now, this post reads, "But Amber, kind greeneyed Amber with her long red curls, her cinnamon flavored skin, her Barbie doll vagina."

[00:23:10]So, look, I'm assuming this author has never played with Barbies because that's gay, according to him probably. But they don't have a vagina. I don't know if they mentioned this in the Barbie movie, which you also probably didn't watch because you thought that was gay, but they don't have vaginas. It's just like It's flat there. It's non-existent. And so I don't think that, you know, is she does she not have one? Because that's not good. Where how is she peeing? What where like what about her uterus and the her period? I guess if she doesn't have a vagina, maybe she doesn't have a uterus. I don't know. I'm I'm a little bit worried for this girl first and foremost. However, you know, the fact that she doesn't have a vagina, combined with the fact that her skin tastes like cinnamon, I think Amber's a gingerbread woman. I truly think that she's just a cookie. And he's just really [ __ ] hungry. Like this looks like a good like her red hair, licorice, her green eyes, just little like candies you put on gingerbread eyes. I think she's just a candy and he's really [ __ ] hungry.

[00:24:12]And you know what? That's fair because I have also been hungry. And the way I talked about food, you would have thought I was talking about a model. You would have thought I was talking about like my celebrity crush. The way that I was talking about the things I wanted to do to to this chicken wrap. And well, honestly, it might stop me from getting into heaven.

[00:24:33]Well, that and the gay thing, those two things definitely aren't helping me.

[00:24:38]Let's just put it that way. And well, what I just read is not helping him get into heaven, too. So, hey, maybe I'll have a friend. Every man who dressed her mentally or otherwise would agree celibacy was wasted on the body like hers. She had high pillowy breasts, the compact butt of a boy, and abs you could bounce golf balls off of.

[00:25:00]There's a lot to unpack here. First, um the concept of looking at someone and debating whether or not celibacy is wasted on them is so great. I actually do that every time I meet someone. I take a picture of them without their consent and I add them to my tier list of people who should and who shouldn't be celibate. If you play League of Legends or Call of Duty, I do put you in the should be celibate forever tier. And obviously, if you're pretty and have big breast and an ass like a pre-pubant boy, I'm saying yes. Like you no, you should be having sex. Which I do need to talk about that. Why are we comparing a woman's ass to a child?

[00:25:40]Is this kick? Why are we looking at boys postteriors? That's not okay. That's a crime. I believe we should maybe not be doing that. Also, if someone told me that my ass looked like a child's ass, I would have to kill them swiftly.

[00:26:00]Actually, slowly, but they would be dead is the point. I would have to murder them because what? Huh? That's not okay.

[00:26:07]Also, what do you mean abs you could bounce golf balls off of?

[00:26:12]him saying, "Godamn, like your abs, like do you hit the gym?" And I'm like, "Oh my god, thank you. I'm so glad you noticed the flags and the the um crocodile that opens and closes its mouth I had installed on my stomach, you know? I really like no one's been commenting on it and like I'm so proud of it trying to get a hole in one and I don't want any of your ones in my hole."

[00:26:36]The one being the inch. I I would like you to go away because um I'm scared of you. Quite frankly, I do not think that you should be allowed within 12 million miles of a woman. Quite frankly, why would you write this? And our final post and um maybe the worst.

[00:26:56]Dino put his feet up and chatted for a couple of minutes. Then he put down the phone and returned to the table. Okay.

[00:27:02]he said. The me confirms his first ed confirms his first estimate of time of death. The girl had a tiny purse tucked into her vagina, just big enough to hold her driver's license, a credit card, and a few bucks. Her name is Elizabeth Sweeney.

[00:27:17]Okay, firstly, tone shift. You were just on the phone with someone. I thought you were having a key with them and suddenly you're like, "Yeah, there's a vagina in her purse." A vagina in her purse? A purse in her vagiana? Huh? What? we missed that. I I feel like we would notice that. And you know what? I I kind of feel for her. Women are always complaining that they don't have any space in their pants. So, I guess she just had to do this. Shove everything in her, you know, nether regions. And honestly, it might be good. I mean, it's not good because it's like, you know, if you're paying for something and they're like, "Swipe your card." Suddenly, you have to do key goals to get it out and everyone in line is really uncomfortable. And, you know, that's really not okay. you're shoving your hand in your pants, pulling out your card, and they're like, "You know what?

[00:28:08]Just take it." And that's I think where the goodness comes in is like, "Okay, great. Well, you're getting stuff for free, but at the cost of your dignity and your friendships because I think if I was friends with someone and they kept their credit card in their, you know, um I would have to distance myself and I would also say maybe you should distance your credit card from any private regions. Just a thought. Just a thought. Yeah. No. Why? But why did she do that though? Her pockets couldn't have been that bad that like decorum again. Where is the decorum? Well, I hope you enjoyed that. I didn't. I hated every second of it. Um, but I hope you enjoyed. And, you know, if you liked it, you know, again, like subscribe or like or something. That'd be like really cool and hot. Um, and I hope that you learned what not to say to a woman or really anyone. And with that heart emoji, smiley face emoji,