Black men often carry generational trauma and emotional suppression due to cultural expectations of toughness, but therapy provides a crucial space for healing, accountability, and breaking toxic cycles; seeking professional help is not a sign of weakness but an act of bravery that allows men to process unresolved trauma, improve relationships, and become conduits for healing others.
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Kirk Franklin & David Banner Stress The Importance Of Therapy For Black MenAjouté :
I asked my dad, I was like, "Dad, are you happy?" He was like, "No, not really." He said, "But the lights on, you're fed, your mama not screaming and hollering."
He said, "I'm at peace."
So, I started learning that as far as the guilt, I go to my therapist, I sit down, talk on the couch.
No.
You have to rebuild. And and and a lot of the stuff that we learned, and we have to admit this, a lot of stuff, especially black people, that's disconnected from their history, from their true spirituality, what we naturally were as human beings on this earth, we're still trying to relearn.
And some of the stuff that we learned is lies, and they're wrong. That's why I'm I was telling you I'm so proud of you saying some of the stuff that you're saying, bro. It's bold and it's breaking all of that muck that we have on us.
Most of that trauma was passed down from our parents and from older people who didn't know better.
They gave us the best that they possibly could have, but that don't mean that it's right.
>> Yeah.
>> That doesn't mean that it's right.
>> That's the key.
>> Okay, so you went to college and did you also hear that he's a rapper who's raising a house with mom and dad in the house?
>> I'm [laughter] you know, I'm not going to let some stuff slide. I'm on I'm on And and then just to highlight, bro, do you realize that you have your guests today all three black men of different ages and we all are in right now consistent therapy.
>> Yeah.
>> I think that that is something that is a powerful nugget to just take a time out and just let it breathe, that we've all been benefi- beneficiaries of stepping out of our comfort zone and opening up that vulnerability because black men going to therapy is still an area of taboo. It's still a great level of of vulnerability, especially when you come from faith-based spaces because, you know, you're program would think you could pray everything away.
And so, to be able to celebrate that, I commend you.
Because I'm older than you, I commend you for doing that. I commend you for doing that, because I'm older than you.
I celebrate and I'm so proud to listen to two men who have their hand and their pulse on the culture and the next generation, also be able to say that I'm still a work in progress. And I'm a I'm a doctor that can't do surgery on myself.
I think that that is something I just want to highlight and celebrate. I don't know if you started that journey, if you tried it. Have you?
>> Yeah, no. And I think that's the point of this show, right? With college students. Like, giving giving black men a space, being therapeutic in our conversations.
>> like therapy right here.
>> Yeah, for sure.
>> Yeah, facts.
Yeah.
>> Facts. Oh, it is. And and that's the bravery that I'm talking about. Not only are you brave enough to talk about it amongst men, but you're talking about it amongst the world.
>> Yep.
>> Yeah. That's not easy, bro.
>> At all.
>> At all. In real time? Especially what's going on in the world now? That's to be applauded.
>> Nah, for sure. And I think just to double back on that, like, you know, we had the Ventji on the show last episode, and he's a big advocate for mental health. And he spoke about a lot of times black men we think things we think our mental health is fine just cuz nothing is currently going wrong, right?
We like, "Oh, well, I'm not really going through nothing right now, so I'm good."
But it's like, are you really taking the time to like self-meditate and think about like how you're getting through your days, things that things that make you tick? You talk about being angry, how that comes out of a aspect of fear.
Like, are you taking that time to self-learn about yourself? A lot of us we don't. We think like, "All right, well, ain't nothing bad going on today, everything good, my lady good, everything cool." It's like, "But have you really taken time to dive deeper into that?" To share example, uh I lost my father right in front of me 18, first week of college.
Um for me, at that time, my mom was trying to get me to go to therapy, and I'm like, "I don't need that." Like, as men we think like, "No, I'm good. Like, I'mma to push it. I'm going to just push through. I'm good. I won't really need that." But, I noticed years down the line how I was still dealing with traumas when I had my son. I was still dealing with like fear, um abandonment.
Simple things I was dealing with where I was acting out as a parent and as a boyfriend at the time with his with my son's mom. Things I was kind of like dealing with that I hadn't unpacked because I still was just putting everything to the side. It's like, "All right, my daddy gone, but I'm good. My grandma died, but I'm good. I've been dealing with school, things not going right in my career, but I'm good. I'm going to continue to push through." But, that's coming out of anger, right?
That's coming out how I'm acting. That's coming out how I'm talking to people.
That's coming out how I'm treating my loved ones, right? And it shows.
>> Mhm.
>> So, even you being brave enough to sit here and talk about what you've been through to let these kids know cuz I know for me as a black man from Mississippi, my mentor told me this. He was like, "Man, do you talk to your friends about the stuff that you talk to me about?" I was like, "No, sir." He said, "Well, you don't have friends."
He said, "Go and open up and talk to your friends." He said, "Just try it now." And I called four of my friends and it was like they had been waiting on me.
You know what I'm saying? I In the streets, we was taught to show no weakness to nobody, bro.
And so, we carry all of this stuff on us, this backpack, and we don't have these places, especially since you like we said, therapy isn't something that's common. So, where do you actually really get to download this stuff?
>> Yep.
>> So, the fact that you're taking this step now, man, and you're able to talk about it and maybe the reason why you went through some of the stuff that you went through is so that you can be a conduit >> Yeah.
>> to allow other people to come through that. We always talk about sacrifices and different people in religion, sacrifices. That may just be your sacrifice to the world.
>> Yeah.
>> Be be grateful for your strength now, in my opinion.
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