First Time Seeing- LEARN ENGLISH With - Ricky Gervais (REACTION)

Added: 2026-06-03

[00:00:01]What's up everybody? Welcome back to another one. Once again, this is Dex Views and I'm with the lovely Danny G.

[00:00:07]>> Hello everybody. How you doing?

[00:00:09]>> All right, so this video is going to be a long video, so I don't want to keep the intro too long. You guys have asked us to do um learning English with Ricky.

[00:00:20]So that's what we're going to do.

[00:00:21]>> Okay.

[00:00:22]>> So definitely not pausing this.

[00:00:24]>> We shall see. [laughter] >> We got to see.

[00:00:27]>> Are you ready to dive in? Yeah, let's do it.

[00:00:29]>> All right, let's go.

[00:00:31]>> Maybe I can learn something.

[00:00:42]>> Hello and welcome to Learn English with Ricky Jay.

[00:00:52]>> I'm Ricky Jay.

[00:00:55]with me, Carl Pilington.

[00:00:59]>> All right. [laughter] >> I won't be speaking your language. I won't be translating what I say. I'll just be speaking English. Okay. The translation will come up on the bottom of the screen.

[00:01:13][laughter] This is my friend Carl Pilington.

[00:01:21]He is bold. [laughter] He is bald.

[00:01:26]He has no hair.

[00:01:29]>> Carl Pilkington has no hair.

[00:01:32]>> Yeah, I know. They can see I've got no hair.

[00:01:33]>> No, I know.

[00:01:34]>> What do they need to know that for if they learn a language?

[00:01:38]>> Bald isn't a b a bald head isn't isn't that important. Teach them how to ask for bread or milk.

[00:01:44]>> Well, we'll get to that. But this is about sort of friendship and family, you know, so it's all useful. There's so many words, you know, they might as well start somewhere.

[00:01:55]>> Too many words. A lot of words.

[00:01:58]>> His face though. [laughter] >> Lot of words.

[00:02:06][laughter and gasps] >> So you say it. Carl Pilington is bold.

[00:02:14]Carl Pilington has got a head like a [ __ ] orange.

[00:02:19]>> Right. I I really don't know why they need to learn this >> because they might need to say that one day.

[00:02:24]>> No, but I get enough abuse now from English people. I don't want Chinese suddenly turning up going [ __ ] orange.

[00:02:30]>> Teach them how to say milk. I need milk.

[00:02:33]Milk for tea. Coffee.

[00:02:37]>> Teach me useful stuff.

[00:02:39]>> Okay. [laughter] Go on. Teach him something then. Who am I talking to?

[00:02:44]>> People around the world. They can't speak English yet. Am >> I talking?

[00:02:48]>> So what are they? Well, >> Chinese Okay. What?

[00:02:52]>> I've been to China and none of them know English, >> right?

[00:02:55]>> So they need to learn English.

[00:02:58]>> Okay.

[00:02:59]>> So um what would they want to know?

[00:03:03]>> You see, they don't need to know about milk because they don't like milk. They think English people smell of milk. They smell of milk.

[00:03:14]Smell.

[00:03:15]>> What does smell mean, Carl?

[00:03:18]>> Smell.

[00:03:20]>> Um, stink. [ __ ] hell. You smell.

[00:03:24]Rank.

[00:03:27]Rank. So, you've got a Chinese fella.

[00:03:30]He's coming over here and he's learned the word rank, meaning you stink.

[00:03:37]>> Smell.

[00:03:38][laughter] Stank. Stunk.

[00:03:42]That stunk.

[00:03:44]Give an example.

[00:03:48]Um, [laughter] you smell you [ __ ] >> Why are you teaching them?

[00:03:58]>> Because you [laughter] told me you said they want to know about smell.

[00:04:01]>> Yeah, right. But why are you teaching them without prepositions and proper?

[00:04:05]Why are you teaching them to speak like this?

[00:04:08]Stink you [ __ ] Why are you teaching them to speak to just speak proper English?

[00:04:14]>> Right. Okay then.

[00:04:15]>> Always speak proper English. Okay. Tell them. [snorts] >> Um so what what do they want to know?

[00:04:23]>> Well, what's what smell mean? Okay. So, we're featuring the word smell. Smell.

[00:04:28]>> This is about the word smell.

[00:04:31]>> Right. When something smells, they know what it means. It's when something um >> stinks. when it >> Well, it doesn't always mean that because it's it's also a verb.

[00:04:39]>> A nice smell.

[00:04:40]>> It's also a verb to smell. It's a verb.

[00:04:44]Smell is a verb.

[00:04:46]>> Yes. But what they've got to remember is if they go up to someone and go you smell, it's not always positive.

[00:04:53]>> You wouldn't you say you smell nice, >> right?

[00:04:56]>> But if you say you smell, they'll get a smack in the face.

[00:04:59]>> Yeah. You think it's >> smack in the face. Smack in the face.

[00:05:03]Carl, what's a smack in the face? When someone thumps you. Thump. [laughter] >> The worst [snorts] English lesson ever. Right. Okay. You [laughter] >> Okay.

[00:05:18]>> What would they want to let you see?

[00:05:19]That's why we've got to focus on Are we focusing on Chinese?

[00:05:22]>> No.

[00:05:22]>> Well, we should because different people want different things, >> right?

[00:05:27]>> So, what would Chinese want? They come to England, >> right?

[00:05:30]>> What do they want?

[00:05:31]>> Why are you talking to me like I can't understand? cuz I'm trying to think how what to be clear to them.

[00:05:38]>> Okay.

[00:05:38]>> So, I'm dropping out.

[00:05:39]>> So, forget where they come from, wherever they come from in the world.

[00:05:43]They all want the same things.

[00:05:44]>> No, but but words don't certain places.

[00:05:48]There's people where it stinks in the world.

[00:05:50]>> They wouldn't come to England and need to say it smells cuz they're from a smellier place.

[00:05:54]>> No, they're not.

[00:05:55]>> Yes, they are.

[00:05:58][laughter] >> Milk. Let's do milk. Okay, let's do milk for anyone who is in English. Okay.

[00:06:04]Okay, I I'll um Okay, we will act out a scenario now where you might need milk.

[00:06:13]>> Okay.

[00:06:14]Okay. [laughter] Hello, Carl.

[00:06:18]>> All right.

[00:06:18]>> Would you like a cup of tea?

[00:06:21]>> Yeah.

[00:06:22]>> Yes, please.

[00:06:23]>> Yes, please. [laughter] Uh strong. What tea bags have you got?

[00:06:29][snorts and laughter] That is a that is a that is a question I ask [laughter] because it all depends on the amount of milk. Do you have typhoon?

[00:06:39]That means more milk.

[00:06:42]>> Typhoon does not mean more milk.

[00:06:44]>> No, it's a very strong tea bag, >> right?

[00:06:46]>> Twinings little bit.

[00:06:48]>> This isn't They don't need to know the details. This isn't a travel guide. This is just This is English for people.

[00:06:55]Start again.

[00:06:56]>> Okay.

[00:06:57]>> Hello, Carl.

[00:06:58]>> Oh, yeah. Would you like a cup of tea?

[00:06:59]>> I'd love one. I'm gasping.

[00:07:00]>> How do you like it?

[00:07:02]>> Strong. No sugar.

[00:07:05]>> Tea bag. Okay.

[00:07:07]>> What? [laughter] >> Yeah. Tea bag. Yeah, [laughter] >> that should be all right.

[00:07:23]>> Would you like some milk?

[00:07:25]>> Just a drop. A drop. Not much.

[00:07:29]>> Would [snorts] you like semi-kmmed milk?

[00:07:31]Skim semi-kmed milk.

[00:07:38]>> Oh my goodness.

[00:07:44]>> I'm sorry.

[00:07:47]It's >> all right.

[00:07:50]Carl is enjoying his tea. He had it strong with a drop of milk.

[00:07:55]>> Oh my god. So that's the basics. Uh uh in England we like to drink tea. We drink tea. We also drink coffee.

[00:08:04]>> We also drink beer.

[00:08:08]>> Let's go shopping. So uh I I'll just come into a shop. Okay.

[00:08:15]>> Drink.

[00:08:17]>> Afternoon.

[00:08:18]>> Hello.

[00:08:18]>> Oh yeah.

[00:08:20]>> I want a fish.

[00:08:22]>> What sort of fish do you want? We got loads. What sort of fish are there?

[00:08:27]>> Loads. I haven't got time to be honest.

[00:08:29]You've coming at a busy time and have a look and come back to me. And >> I don't know what what type of fish is this.

[00:08:35]>> That's a kipper.

[00:08:37]>> Okay. A kipper. What's a kipper?

[00:08:42][laughter] >> Chinese and Japanese know fish really well. They don't need >> Stop thinking we're just talking to Chinese and J. I don't know where the Japanese count. It was just Chinese people. This is for anyone who wants to learn English anywhere around the world.

[00:08:56]There might be Spanish, there might be French, there might be German. Okay.

[00:09:02]Why do you only care about the Chinese learning about this? Cuz most Spanish people can speak English.

[00:09:09]They've been taught it. But all right, Kipper. It's a fish. It's sort of um a fishy sort of fish. There's some fish.

[00:09:20]>> You couldn't help it.

[00:09:21]>> No.

[00:09:23]Because is this how you feel when I'm trying to explain something?

[00:09:29]>> Yes. Using the same word to try to explain the word that I'm asking you.

[00:09:33]What do you mean? [laughter] >> What do you mean? What do I mean? It's a kipper. It's a fish.

[00:09:39]>> That's more meaty. Tuna. What sort of thing are you after today? Is this for you or for someone else?

[00:09:44]>> This is for me. I'd like to buy a fish, please.

[00:09:47]>> Right. But you But surely you know what kipper is. Look at it. Look at the fish here. It's called kipper. Where are you from?

[00:09:57]>> I don't speak English.

[00:10:00]>> I just wrap any old [ __ ] up and give it.

[00:10:03][laughter] You're like this tenner.

[00:10:05][snorts] Rip you off because I'm busy. And that's what happens in this country. That's what you want to be careful of. They're watching this. If you come to England, don't be ripped off. Rip off. conned [snorts] taken advantage of. Um, >> done up like a kipper.

[00:10:26]>> Done up like a kipper.

[00:10:28]>> Look at this foreigner. I done him up like a kipper.

[00:10:34]>> This is when English gets complicated because kipper, a lot of English words can mean many things.

[00:10:41]>> Mhm.

[00:10:42]>> Um, where >> where >> [laughter] >> Same word, different thing.

[00:10:55]>> Wearing. [snorts] Where have you been?

[00:10:58][laughter] >> I'm wearing a jumper. Where have you been? Where?

[00:11:05]>> He's got a point. Yeah.

[00:11:07]>> You think the Chinese got that?

[00:11:08]>> One word, two meanings.

[00:11:13]At the spa.

[00:11:17]Hello. I'd like to book an appointment for a treatment.

[00:11:21]>> Okay. When are you um when are you thinking?

[00:11:24]>> Um >> we're busy all today. Tomorrow.

[00:11:29]>> Can we just do it today? Can it just be available now? Can't we just do it that it's available now? There's nothing.

[00:11:34]>> Well, all right. I can fit you in.

[00:11:36]Someone hasn't turned up yet. So, we can get you in sort of in 10 minutes.

[00:11:41]>> Okay.

[00:11:44]Right. [laughter] Okay.

[00:11:47]What would you like?

[00:11:48]>> Um, I would like a back, crack, and sack waxing, please.

[00:11:56]>> I would like my back waxed, my crack waxed, and my sack waxed.

[00:12:04]>> Right.

[00:12:04]>> Do you do the treatments yourself?

[00:12:06]>> No.

[00:12:06]>> I'd like you to.

[00:12:07]>> Well, I can't.

[00:12:08]>> Why not?

[00:12:09]>> Because I have to be on reception taking calls.

[00:12:11]>> Well, okay. [laughter] You can't request who's doing your sack, your crack, or your back. There's a woman in the back who does your crack.

[00:12:21]>> Well, um, [laughter] this is [ __ ] insane.

[00:12:26]Right. That's enough. I DON'T know what we're doing. I don't know who's going to learn anything.

[00:12:30]>> Wait, wait, wait, wait. Okay. Okay.

[00:12:33]Right. Okay. Okay. Well, ask me some questions about Okay.

[00:12:36]>> Well, I I don't have to ask you any questions. I said you can be going in 10 minutes. I'm not doing it. I'm wor. paid or qualified to be sorting your >> Wait. Okay. Wait. Wait. Okay. Actually, thinking about it, the hair on my crack hasn't grown back, nor has the hair on my back, but my sack is very hairy.

[00:12:57]Wait, my sack is very hairy. Um, I I don't need my back waxed or my crack waxed, but I need my sack waxed >> right >> now. I'm surprised you haven't done it yourself because it's the back and the crack that's the difficult bit. The sack you can do yourself.

[00:13:16]>> True.

[00:13:16]>> To be honest, it should all be growing at the same time.

[00:13:19]>> No.

[00:13:20]>> So, there's something wrong with you.

[00:13:21]No, you got a hairy bollock [laughter] when your back is your back is lovely and bald.

[00:13:25]>> Right.

[00:13:26]>> You don't need it doing >> bald.

[00:13:29]>> Bald.

[00:13:30]My back is bald.

[00:13:32]>> Yeah.

[00:13:32]>> My crack is bald.

[00:13:35]>> My sack needs waxing. Right.

[00:13:40]>> Um, it's quite an emergency. My balls are very hairy.

[00:13:46]>> Can I have them waxed, please?

[00:13:48]>> Yes.

[00:13:49]>> How much just for the balls?

[00:13:52][snorts] >> £15 for two.

[00:13:54]>> 15 for the both.

[00:13:55]>> For two. Okay, that's good. So, £750 each. Imagine it's £750.

[00:13:59]>> Yeah, but we don't split it. That's That's the price.

[00:14:03]>> Yes.

[00:14:03]>> You can't have one dump.

[00:14:04]>> No, I have two. I have two balls. I have two balls. How many balls do you have, Carl?

[00:14:11]>> Two.

[00:14:12]>> Carl has two balls. Are your balls hairy?

[00:14:17]>> Average.

[00:14:18]>> Okay. Which is strange because Carl's balls are hairy, but he is bald on his head. His head looks like a ball. His head looks like a bald testicle. Carl has a head like a bald testicle, but his testicles aren't bold.

[00:14:38]>> Carl is wondering words where's relevance in this English language.

[00:14:41]>> Okay. How long will it take to wax my balls?

[00:14:44]>> Uh 10 minutes. 10 minutes.

[00:14:50]>> Okay. [snorts] Okay. So, it's um £15 and 10 minutes. Um can you do it? Can you can you do it now, please?

[00:14:59]>> No, I won't be doing it. You'll be meeting Leslie in the back room.

[00:15:03]>> Uh oh. I don't really I'm a little bit shy. I know you. Could you >> You don't know me. You just turned up.

[00:15:10]>> Could you wax my balls?

[00:15:12]>> No, I'm not waxing your balls. Bollocks.

[00:15:15]Uh scrotum.

[00:15:18]Um what else is the test eye? [laughter] >> If you're having one done, bollocks [laughter] sack.

[00:15:32]What else is it?

[00:15:34]>> Okay. Okay, we've done that thing. Okay.

[00:15:37]>> At the doctor's.

[00:15:40]>> Hello, doctor.

[00:15:42]>> Hello.

[00:15:43]>> I have a pain.

[00:15:44]>> Where?

[00:15:44]>> Okay. What's whereabouts is the pain?

[00:15:46]>> My anus.

[00:15:47]>> Of course it is. [laughter] >> Of course, it is.

[00:15:55]>> Why are you having this is worth learning in a language? You go home. If you're ill, go home.

[00:16:00]>> No. If if if a foreign fell that is in this country and go to the doctors and use our NHS system, if he had an achy ass, he'd get on the first flight home.

[00:16:11]Why are you going traveling?

[00:16:14]>> You're here as a tourist. Yes. Right.

[00:16:16]Well, see London.

[00:16:17]>> Instead of worrying about your airy bollocks, see the London Eye. The London Eye. [laughter] Tower of London. These are things that are going to be useful to them.

[00:16:29]>> Okay.

[00:16:30]>> Tower of London, London Eye, Buckingham Palace, the Queen.

[00:16:38]>> Mhm.

[00:16:38]>> I've never been on holiday and had to have me anus seen to I haven't had to have it seem to whilst I'm here at home.

[00:16:46]>> Give them useful words from >> Why are you teaching them a French word if we're teaching them English?

[00:16:56]I'm just saying useful phrases, right?

[00:16:59]>> Uh, I've got headache.

[00:17:02]>> What would you do? Okay. What scenario would you do to teach them?

[00:17:06]>> I will now teach you a useful scenario.

[00:17:08]>> Yeah. Who are you?

[00:17:09]>> Anyone you want me to be? What do you want to do?

[00:17:13]>> The bins haven't been emptied.

[00:17:15]>> Who? And and Okay.

[00:17:18]>> Who are you?

[00:17:20]>> You're making this scenario up. This is your >> So, who are you then? The council.

[00:17:25]It's up to you, >> right? You're my neighbor.

[00:17:28]>> Okay.

[00:17:30]>> Why do you keep putting bins out? The bin man doesn't come till Thursday. You keep putting bins on.

[00:17:36]>> I'm sorry. I'm very sorry.

[00:17:38]>> I've had a bit of trouble. I woke up this morning. It's the worst it's ever been. I haven't got distended.

[00:17:44]I've got a prolap distended. My testicles are very, very low cuz I'm old.

[00:17:51]>> I'm glad.

[00:17:53]>> Yeah. All right, listen. Can you just put the bins out on a Thursday?

[00:17:56]>> I can't put the >> My balls are so low cuz I'm an old man.

[00:18:01]>> Can you put the bins out on a thin men doesn't come till a Thursday? It's Tuesday. You're putting bins out too early. There's foxes getting at them.

[00:18:08]There's [ __ ] all over the place. There's dirty underpants you keep putting in the bin. I've told you it attracts foxes.

[00:18:14]Stop putting the [ __ ] bins out through two [ __ ] days early when they got to sit there and it attracts. I'm trying to sell me flats. these dirty shitty undies all over the [ __ ] pavement.

[00:18:26]>> This has happened to you, isn't it?

[00:18:28]>> Yeah, it [laughter] has.

[00:18:29]>> Did you really?

[00:18:29]>> Yeah, it was.

[00:18:30]>> They don't give a [ __ ] They don't give a [ __ ] [laughter] [screaming] >> God was reliving something. [laughter] Oh my good.

[00:18:44]>> We hope that's been useful for you. So when you visit England, you can talk just like an Englishman.

[00:18:52]>> Thank [laughter] you for learning English with Ricky Jay and Carl Pilington.

[00:18:58]>> See you.

[00:18:59]>> See you.

[00:18:59]>> See you.

[00:19:05]>> That's hilarious.

[00:19:07]>> That was very funny and so irrelevant.

[00:19:11]Like what did we learn?

[00:19:13]>> What did you learn? I didn't learn anything.

[00:19:18]>> I learned I try to do a few scenarios, but it was a lot of Oh my goodness. That that flew off so quickly. I guess that's when you know something is good.

[00:19:29]>> Yeah. I was going to say it's Ricky's fault cuz Carl wanted to actually teach.

[00:19:34]>> Yeah.

[00:19:34]>> But Ricky just like >> Carl's facial facial expression keeps getting me. I can't just look help to see the blank annoying like like the annoying look on his face like yo what are we doing >> it just it definitely looked um candid like Carl didn't know what he was going on he was walking into [laughter] so Ricky probably was like hey you want to do a video with me teaching English and he was like prepared and then >> sure and then Ricky started like huh what what is this [laughter] you really wanted to really teach English kept messing around >> to Chinese and Japanese >> specifically.

[00:20:17][laughter] >> So, >> poor Carl. I swear the kipper, man. It's a fish. Like, >> I um looking forward for the next lesson.

[00:20:28]>> Oh my goodness.

[00:20:29]>> See if I can actually learn something on the second one.

[00:20:33]>> I can't help it. I was tearing up. I had tears in my eyes at one point. This was so funny. I never expected this to be this funny at all.

[00:20:41]>> Yeah.

[00:20:42]>> Yeah. I didn't learn a darn thing about English, but it was. But I do know like they got multiple words that sound the same, spell different, has different meaning.

[00:20:53]>> Yes.

[00:20:53]>> Yes.

[00:20:54]>> That part.

[00:20:54]>> He brought up >> one. Good point.

[00:20:57]>> Where and where.

[00:20:58]>> Yeah.

[00:20:58]>> Yeah.

[00:20:59]>> Where?

[00:21:00]>> Where?

[00:21:00]>> Where?

[00:21:00]>> Where?

[00:21:01]>> Where?

[00:21:01]>> Or where?

[00:21:02]>> Where. [laughter] >> Listen, I'm the worst person. I butcher I butcher the English language. I think I'm doing a good job with grammar and all. Then I realize like no, you're actually making it worse. Don't even try.

[00:21:18]>> But I mean your accent comes out all the time.

[00:21:21]>> True. I think that that that is what makes it worse cuz then I missing some letters where they should be and then I add some where it shouldn't be.

[00:21:32][laughter] >> For sure.

[00:21:35]You're always missing the H.

[00:21:37]>> The biggest one out of them all. So, but English wasn't your first language.

[00:21:43]>> It wasn't.

[00:21:44]>> And you're doing a good job at it.

[00:21:46]You're better than me.

[00:21:47]>> Every time I think of this, it just remind me reminds me when we went to Vegas.

[00:21:53]>> Mhm.

[00:21:54]>> And you guys were asking me to see how far the Hoover Dam was, but you guys kept saying Uber.

[00:22:03][laughter] And then I'm over here on my phone going crazy.

[00:22:10]Uber damn. It's said, "Ou."

[00:22:14]I said, "Who?"

[00:22:17][laughter] >> You know what?

[00:22:22]>> I'm sorry. Yeah, guys, that was me. Is it's the Jamaican accent. And like I said, we take away some stuff and we add some stuff where they don't belong.

[00:22:31]Okay. So, just >> it was not happening.

[00:22:34]>> You need to go to his class more often.

[00:22:38]>> Yeah, I need to join that class for sure.

[00:22:41]>> All right. That was a light fun um sketch skit. I don't know. I don't even know if it was planned or not, but it was fun. I enjoy >> the heck out of that.

[00:22:53]>> So, thanks for um >> recommending >> recommending that one to us, >> suggesting it.

[00:22:58]>> Yeah. But you guys know what to do.

[00:23:01]Thanks for staying up with us. If you like our videos, please like, share, subscribe, >> be kind, and let us know what you think in the comments.

[00:23:08]>> Stay focused, guys. Until next time.

[00:23:10]>> Peace.