Corporate Cringe

Added: 2026-05-14

[00:00:00]LinkedIn is a social media that very few people actually enjoy using but feel like they have to in order to improve their career prospects. However, there is a small amount of people that treat LinkedIn as seemingly their main social media for some reason and absolutely live for it. And the things these people post are absolutely insane. Had to cut an interview short today. Everything was going great until the candidate dropped the dreaded S words.

[00:00:25]S- salary. Like, really? We're talking about a once-in-a-lifetime career opportunity here, and they want to focus on money. Priorities, people. Back to the applicant pool we go. And they've attached this this >> [laughter] >> this picture. I think that's a very valid question to ask about a job that you're you're going into. People on LinkedIn hate it when people ask about salary, don't they? Like, if you've if you've ever been on LinkedIn or ever looked at posts from LinkedIn, they absolutely despise it for some reason. Like, as if you're just supposed to work at their company for the absolute love of it and completely disregard the concept of payment. Our AI bill just hit $113,000 in a single month. We are a four-person team. How what? Sorry. I HOW'D YOU RACK UP A 113 grand AI bill? What does that include?

[00:01:13]Isn't like ChatGPT Premium like £15 a month or something? So, this is from Anthropic, so it'll be for Claude.

[00:01:21]Sorry, WHAT ARE YOU DOING? THAT IS >> [laughter] >> WHAT THE ARE YOU DOING? THAT MEANS YOU'RE paying 113 grand a month for Claude for four people. And then he goes on to say, "I've never been more proud of an invoice in my life. Here's why." I don't Okay, right. Am I going to look this up? I'm probably going to look up this guy. Let's find his LinkedIn.

[00:01:38]Are you on there like 24/7? So, this is why this guy is so ecstatic about spending a over 100 grand on AI. But I I don't I don't get it. At uh I'm not promoting his company. We're building the first autonomous business.

[00:01:52]>> [laughter] >> Scaling with intelligence, not headcount. And the the only way we prove that thesis is to build a truly agentic solution ourselves. Right, so you're you're not spending that over 100 grand on hiring people. Instead, you're spending it on on AI, which is like I mean, AI is pretty defective still. When your business/product are truly agentic AI costs compound. Okay, right, this is all just it's just us talking in like nonsense business speak. Our goal is $10 million ARR with a sub 10 person or we don't have SDRs and all it's just I don't know what any of that means.

[00:02:25]Probably bollocks THOUGH, ISN'T IT? I'LL DIE on this hill. If you're a founder and take more than two hours to respond to your customers, you shouldn't be a founder. What if you're asleep? I don't care IF IT'S SUNDAY. I DON'T CARE IF YOU'RE at dinner. I don't care if you're on vacation. SHUT THE UP.

[00:02:38]>> [laughter] >> AND THEN SOMEONE REPLIED TO HIS POST, "Hey Warp customer here. We emailed you 28 hours ago with a couple of payroll questions. Mind taking a look. Great post." Oh, the the thing is right, these people they never ever ever like live up to their own advice. They never follow their own advice. Like of course this guy isn't everyone within two hours.

[00:02:58]He's going to post about doing so on LinkedIn to impress all the other people lying on there, isn't it? Like I swear a lot of LinkedIn is just collective mass psychosis. Like >> [laughter] >> these people never do the things they say they're doing. It's just everyone laughing as the most impossibly responsible business person in the world. Like no one is replying to everyone within two hours. That's just it's just not possible. "Hi Ryan, I noticed you headed out a little early yesterday 4:57 p.m. While we appreciate your work, we need to make sure you're being fair to the rest of the team who stay until the end of the work day. To make up the time deficit, you can either take a slightly shorter lunch today or stay until 5:03 p.m. this evening. Surely this email took longer to draft up than the three minutes of worth. Let's make sure we are watching the clock a bit closer moving for I hate it with the passive-aggressive talk. Let's make sure we're watching the clock a bit closer but but but moving forward. like they're not in nursery. We are a team.

[00:03:51]Thanks, Sharon. Shut up. Shut up, Sharon. I just walked out of a restaurant without paying, not because of the service, she was great, or the food, 10 out of 10, no notes, BUT BUT BECAUSE [laughter] BUT BECAUSE ADHD, I LITERALLY just forgot TO PAY. WHY ARE YOU POSTING ABOUT THIS ON LINKEDIN? I FEEL SO I MEAN, I've never walked out of a restaurant without paying before, but I have walked out of shops without paying for like put something in a bag or something and forgotten to pay for it. I feel as though everyone has.

[00:04:18]>> [laughter] >> Why is she making some kind of LinkedIn post here? Also, I'm sorry, you can't blame your ADHD for you just can't. So, please assume the best of your neurodivergent friend. Is this person trying to be like, "Oh, if you see someone walking out of a restaurant without paying, just assume they have ADHD and they're not doing a runner."

[00:04:34]Please add this to the things you don't say to a recruiter list. And someone emailed this person with, "Hi Maria, this sounds like an awful position, best of luck." I mean, fair enough, at least they're being honest. At least they're being transparent. Hang on, SORRY, THIS >> [laughter] >> OH, IT'S AMAZING. SO, THIS GUY IS APPARENTLY LIKE a lead product manager at Wells Fargo or something. But, he's >> [laughter] >> he's put on his experience Reddit moderator, January 2012 to present.

[00:04:59]Sorry, you can't put Reddit mod for 14 years on your LinkedIn. I love it how it says free lot. You don't get paid for it, brother. No one gets paid for being a Reddit moderator.

[00:05:09]A Reddit mod work experience, shut up.

[00:05:12]Grokopedia, have you guys seen this yet?

[00:05:14]The AI encyclopedia that could be more honest than Wikipedia. I I I honestly do not think it could. Launched by XAI in late 2025. 885,000 articles at launch, and now there are 5.6 million plus today. Indexed by search engines. Already cited by AI systems. Wow, they're already cited by AI systems. Wow, unlike Wikipedia, Grokopedia isn't shaped by politics, edit wars, or human bias. I mean, neither is Wikipedia, really. There there are people that make sure it's it it's kept factual, right? And where is like if you have an AI encyclopedia, it's going to get things wrong. AI is known for getting a lot of things wrong.

[00:05:51]An AI encyclopedia is not going to be better than Wikipedia. I'm sorry, it's just not. It scales fast, transparent, and AI-driven. Oh, that's great. That's what I want from my encyclopedia. The fact it scales fast and is AI-driven.

[00:06:03]Yeah. Potentially surfacing truths that Wikipedia might overlook. I mean, I don't think so. I think it I think it's going to be full of absolute nonsense if it even is a thing. Is Grockopedia a thing? I It sounds made up. Okay, it is a real thing, but I don't I It doesn't I don't know what the is this. I'm sorry.

[00:06:19]>> [laughter] >> That's not That's not going to be the Wikipedia killer. CTOs, VCs, founders, would you trust an AI creative reality layer that just tells it like it is? No.

[00:06:29]Me to a 23-year-old employee, box up your PlayStation when you get home or look for a new job. What? Is this person not happy that that their staff member has a PlayStation and plays it sometimes when he's not at work? What? I asked him specifically not to play it for a month until he hit his sales YOU ARE GROUNDED FROM YOUR PLAYSTATION until until you sell more at work. You need to hit your sales minimums if if you want to be able to play your PlayStation in your free time. Bearing in mind, this is this he's talking about a 23-year-old. SHUT THE UP, Steven Montgomery. What are YOU ON ABOUT? [laughter] YOU DICK. Within 2 weeks, he chose his PlayStation over his job and I fired him. Yeah, I mean, he he's valid in doing that. He can do what he wants with his free time, Steven, you big dick. Would do it again today. And every people have reacted with thumbs up, laughing, and and Oh, die They People on LinkedIn love saying, "I'll die on this hill."

[00:07:19]I'll die on this hill. Even on vacation, you and your team should still check in periodically. 2 minutes, quick peek at Slack, quick scan of Gmail, anything urgent, handle it or route it. If you completely disappear, you simply don't care. Tell me I'm wrong. You should still work while you're on holiday, otherwise you clearly don't give a No, shut up. Go sit on a beach. Also, someone someone's posted a very good meme on LinkedIn, and it's uh Trump cures cancer, cuz that's something he would do. And then there's a load of stupid liberals on the street saying things like curing cancer is racist and we want our cancer back. I have a right to die from cancer.

[00:07:53]>> [laughter] >> A LOT of the people just have like like just mad fantasies.

[00:07:58]>> [laughter] >> Like this is just something THAT WOULD NOT HAPPEN. AND I think even if he did cure cancer, I think people would go, "Yeah, that was actually you know what, fair enough. It's actually quite a good thing he's done there." It's crazy to me that a college student and a billionaire basically own the same phone and laptop.

[00:08:10]They don't. I mean, maybe like probably phone but laptop, no no way. For all the inequality in the world, access to tech in the developed world is a remarkably level playing field. I tell you what, this person actually kind of has a point. For the first time in history over the last maybe like I don't know, 4 30 40 years or so, maybe less even, maybe like 10 to 20 years. The sort of access to tech and I guess products or whatever to the average person is closer than ever to I guess the elites. Like a phone you could buy second hand for like I don't know, 200 quid or something is not going to be that much worse and it will probably do base all of the same sort of basic functions as you know, a phone a billionaire could buy. I would assume. I'd assume billionaires would just have like the newest iPhone or whatever. Same with computers really, I guess. You could basically buy the best phone available for a thousand dollars.

[00:08:55]If you had a hundred thousand dollars to spend, there isn't anything that is really any better. It might be. It might be, you never know. Same for computers, yeah. You know what, I kind of agree with this one to an extent. Best investment I made in 2025 was this golf simulator for 50k. Go to the golf What are you doing? [laughter] 50 grand? No, that's enough money to play golf for ages. An entrepreneur flew down from Toronto to install it in my office and virtually guarantees my kid a golf scholarship. It will pay for itself times five. Or take them outside instead of putting them in a big windowless room in your house. Also, Americans are mad, aren't they? Like some some of these Americans, they just have big rooms that they're doing nothing with that they turn into golf simulators. I was 12 years old when I walked into my home and found my mom deceased. 14 years later I opened my first Chick-fil-A franchise.

[00:09:39]right. I'm sorry to hear about that. I don't see how opening your first Chick-fil-A franchise 14 years later is particularly relevant. McDonald's sells 6.5 million burgers a day. A day? Do you really think there's that many cows in the world? That's a fair point.

[00:09:52]That's 105 million a month. What are people actually eating? Now you've got me thinking. Now you have got me thinking. They definitely don't kill 105 million cows a month. Where are they getting them all from? And as we all know, you can only make one burger from one cow. $20,000.

[00:10:08]That's how much a client of mine realized they were overpaying a secretary. She's loyal, dedicated, does a job well, but her work does not justify her salary. Well, I guess value is in the eye of the beholder, isn't it?

[00:10:17]How did this happen, I asked. They told me we raised her every year and she's been here a long time. I mean, that sounds fair. I asked, has her workload increased? Does she do higher-level work now? No. Yes, but raises should reflect loyalty and cost of living. But no, you don't pay a secretary Okay, yeah, paying a secretary over 100k is a lot of money. Just because she's been there a while. Here's my No one asked for your advice. Here's my advice. Set clear salary ranges for each role and stick to them. Make raises reflect the work being done, not just tenure. Yeah, but I I think if someone's been at your company a long time, and you know, they know their job inside and out and they do a good job and they're reliable and trustworthy, I think raising their pay like kind of every year or two or what or whatever is is fair. Raises are tricky. Done right, they motivate. Done wrong, they cost you. So, how do you handle raises in your team? #bitesize workshop or some LinkedIn post. Just a fantastic LinkedIn post. I don't know why this guy has decided to post this on LinkedIn. What do you call a black person in the UK? I am asking because I get confused when people refer to a black person in the US as an African American rather than just a black person. Many black people in the United States are not from Africa. They may be from Jamaica, for example. Yes. Why are so many people uncomfortable with just saying the person is black? Why is he >> [laughter] >> WHY ARE YOU POSTING THIS ON LINKEDIN?

[00:11:28]THIS DOESN'T EVEN REQUIRE a social media post anywhere, let alone the very professional platform of LinkedIn. After 20 years, I finally got my dream vanity plate. Can't thank my clients, teammates, vendor partners, and family enough. 105 hours >> [laughter] >> a week can't be beat. Oh, yeah, I work 105 hours, and look at me now. I've got a license plate that says topping. I think there should be another tax bracket above the top tax bracket. That is just for people with personalized number plates. It is maybe the stupidest waste of money ever. But buying a personalized license plate. Like you just can't be trusted with your money if >> [laughter] >> if you're working 105 hours a week to fund the purchase of a license plate that says topping. This is a message from someone called Elias, who is a cybersecurity and information technology analyst. Hi Beautiful, I recently put in an application with your company for a clinical R&D programmer role. Would you be able to connect me with the hiring team so we can schedule an interview?

[00:12:24]Thanks, Elias. And then they ignored them for like 8 hours or something.

[00:12:28]Well, THANKS FOR A HELL. THANKS FOR IGNORING ME, YOU THEY didn't reply between the hours of half midnight and half eight. France becomes the first country to force all supermarkets to give unsold food to the poor. That sounds like a lovely idea. This is how you create a ban Sorry, what? This is how you create a banlieue.

[00:12:46]Never What is that? We've got to look up the definition of whatever the that is. They're French suburbs primarily on the outskirts of large cities like Paris that are administratively separate from the city center. Okay, right. So basically means suburb. When the state forces private supermarkets to surrender inventory under threat of fines, well, it's just going to get binned anyway. It destroys price signals, ownership, and accountability. Unsold food stops being an asset to be optimized and becomes a liability to be dumped. Well, but they're not asking them to give away fresh food, are they? They're not asking to At the end of the day, whatever food isn't sold, they have to give away. At least I very much doubt that cuz that would be stupid. That shifts behavior upstream, less variety, tighter rationing, higher prices, and fewer small competitors who cannot absorb compliance risk. Charity under collusion is not charity. It is confiscation with better optics. It's just food that would go to waste anyway. It's like yellow sticker food that like has gone past it's like time it can be on the shelf for. It's just going to go in the bin anyway. I don't understand the problem. Going to travel to Thailand for 3 months on a sabbatical from work as a single 25-year-old is a horrific idea. Is it? Should be in your town looking for >> [laughter] >> Should be in your town looking for a spouse and building your career business. Yeah. What are you doing spending 3 months doing a once-in-a-lifetime trip around Southeast Asia? You should be taking that 3 months sabbatical and be in your town looking for [laughter] looking for a spouse or using that time to create a business.

[00:14:05]YOU CAN'T CREATE A BUSINESS IN 3 MONTHS. IT TAKES A LOT LONGER THAN THAT MOST OF THE TIME. Traveling is a great way to build bad habits. I don't think it is. I think if you're one of those people that like just is like basically becomes a hippie and just travels all of the time. Actually, to be fair, if I was that way inclined, I'd probably like that. But, I quite like being at home. It's definitely not the best way to stack that bread, but like I don't know. I I I think going on a a 3-month traveling trip isn't It's [laughter] not It's not building bad habits. Traveling is a great way to build bad habits and then next thing you know, you're 35 and a hippie. Oh, okay. So, this guy's posted uh corporate hierarchy explained by the animal kingdom. Okay. So, at the bottom we have ants and then controlling them are the dogs who are who represent executives and specialists cuz as we know, um dogs can control ants. seen a German Shepherd converse with an ant on how to build their colony? And then above the dogs, we have foxes who represent middle management. So, as we know, foxes are the the the ones that control the dogs. Then of course, above the foxes, we have wolves. And then of course, of course, above the wolves, we have eagles. And then of course, everyone knows this, above the eagles, we've got lions. This is exactly how the animal kingdom operates. What, have you never seen Planet Earth? You never seen any David Attenborough documentary ever?

[00:15:12]Dear Apple, congrats on the new CEO.

[00:15:14]First task I hate the way I I think is I mentioned this so many times before, but I just hate it how LinkedIn posts are formatted. Congrats on the new CEO. First task, give this his LinkedIn a little love. I hate it when they ask a question and then answer it, but like they're asking the question from I I I I know they're trying to do it from like the perspective of someone else, but they're just doing it themselves. First task, give his LinkedIn a little love.

[00:15:34]We can help. Mate, he's the CEO of Apple. I don't think he I mean, rightfully does not give a about LinkedIn. He has probably the top job of any TOP [laughter] I MEAN, THE TOP job in the world. He does not need to get HIS LINKEDIN UP. WHAT THE WHAT PURPOSE would we have for LinkedIn?

[00:15:51]"Huh, let's get married." Me, "Only if I can use it to plug my startup." Her, "Okay, but make it subtle." It's going to be really funny when you look back on this 6 months in 6 months time and your AI startup has failed and all your wedding photos JUST JUST HAVE YOUR FAILED STARTUP'S logo >> [laughter] >> front and center. Right, so this guy's wearing a a t-shirt that says, "Not now, kitten. Daddy is increasing shareholder value." Okay. All right. All right. If my boss wore this to work, I would I'd I'd quit there and then. I have no respect for that wears a t-shirt like this. "At Chipotle, could someone quick tell the chatbot to write some code so I get my side of guac for free? Haha, sorry for the bad humor. I just couldn't help myself." WHAT THE HELL >> [laughter] >> WHAT WAS THE WHAT WHAT WAS THE JOKE? CAN SOMEONE quick tell the chatbot to write some code so I get my side of guac for free? Haha, sorry for the BAD WHAT'S THE WHAT IS THE [laughter] JOKE?

[00:16:41]OH, A LITTLE GUESSING GAME WE HAVE HERE.

[00:16:42]CAN YOU guess who the rich person is?

[00:16:44]Which fridge would you pick, A or B?

[00:16:46]Probably A cuz they got a chicken in there and some watermelon. I like watermelon and some cheese. That looks nice. Whereas this one only has like fruit and eggs and stuff. But I don't know what the >> [laughter] >> What the is this supposed to be?

[00:17:00]Who is I don't know, man. Well, child number four is not exactly what we expected in brackets or hoped. After having a boy and two girls, we were really hoping to find out we would be having another boy. Here is where the two truths rule really applies. Truth one, I am so glad we have a healthy baby and we will love her no matter what.

[00:17:18]True too, I'm very disappointed the baby is not A BOY.

[00:17:22]>> [laughter] >> OH MAN, IMAGINE LOOKING BACK on your dad's LinkedIn posts when you're like like a teenager or something. And you just be like he's just posted some corporate slop about how he's disappointed you're not a boy. Both things get Why do people just post like this? You can keep this to yourself. You don't have to post every single thought you have on LinkedIn.

[00:17:40]Both things get to exist in the same space and it doesn't make either state either statement any less true. Yes, it ruined my husband's night. Yes, it made my son cry for 45 minutes straight. Yes, it surprised me BUT YOU'RE YOU'RE CURSING this child. You don't want this child. Yes, it surprised me so much I laughed and cried at the same time and yes, we are still so excited to meet her her two truths hashtag working parents hashtag TWO TRUTHS HASHTAG >> [laughter] >> HASHTAG DISAPPOINTMENT IS OKAY.

[00:18:09]CHILD'S NOT EVEN BEEN BORN YET it's already a disappointment to you. I look maybe this is a controversial opinion.

[00:18:15]But I think if you desperately only want either a boy or a girl and you're not like just like fine with having either.

[00:18:21]But I think of course you can be like oh I prefer to have a boy or I prefer to have a girl. But I think if you if it's like a point where it's going to ruin your night and like make the whole family upset, maybe just don't have another kid. Like if you're going to resent this child because it's a girl like just don't just don't have a child.

[00:18:36]This image can actually teach a powerful leadership and success lesson. Right, so which which what is the cat drinking?

[00:18:42]Right, let's follow that cuz it looks like it's going to be water but I think it's not going to be cuz look, this changes halfway through, doesn't it? So I think it's going to be a little trick.

[00:18:48]So you got to follow it. It's He's drinking juice. But it looks like water but like don't be fooled by that.

[00:18:57]I was almost fooled by that but I as you can see I'm I'm a very powerful leader cuz I know I know what the what the cat is drinking. Just renewed our annual Slack subscription for client essential $34,000.

[00:19:09]Isn't Slack basically just corporate Discord? Why don't you just why don't you just >> [laughter] >> why don't you just have that instead of spending 34 gra I don't know. Maybe I'm wrong. I've never used Slack before in my life. #merrychristmas and it's a meme of Trump and some other people saying, "We can say Merry Christmas again."

[00:19:23]You've never not been able I love it when people like make up as if like they've been oppressed for not being able to say Merry Christmas. No one's ever got you can't say Merry Christmas.

[00:19:31]I ran out of money today. Not euros, tokens. I hit my weekly AI usage limit mid-task. OH, THERE'S NOTHING WORSE THAN THAT. OH, FULL STOP.

[00:19:39]COME BACK NEXT week or pay more. Now, a couple of months ago token limits were a minor annoyance. Now, they're a real constraint on how much work I can get done in a day. Have you ever thought maybe you rely too much on AI? Have you ever thought you're maybe a bit of a dum-dum? When your AI handles implementation, running out of tokens feels like someone unplugging your computer, mate. If If running out of AI tokens feels like someone unplugging your computer, maybe you need to get better at your job. I keep hearing the same advice pop up on socials. When you start a new job, negotiate your token budget. I've never heard that before in my life. Not your laptops, not your monitor setup, your token allocation. Think about that for a second. We went from negotiating desk location to ne- negotiating compute. Are we? The new office perk isn't a standing desk, it's a fat token allowance. And then, he's attached this image of someone who has no tokens and he's thinking of tumbleweed. But then, there's the big boss who is thinking of a treasure chest who's He's carrying a big jar of tokens.

[00:20:33]God, I really want to be the guy carrying the big jar of tokens. Nothing would bring me more joy than having a very large jar of tokens. Right. Well, I'm going to leave it there for this video. Like and subscribe and I will give you a large human-sized jar of tokens.