We''ll Never Get There

Added: 2026-05-28

[00:00:00]Who knows Zeno's paradox?

[00:00:05]>> Yeah, a couple of people know Zeno's par and I think I know who.

[00:00:11]Actually, I think you all know Zeno's paradox, but you don't necessarily know it by that name because Zeno's paradox works like this. If you want to go from here to there, well, first you have to go halfway.

[00:00:24]And if you want to go from there to there to keep going, you have to go halfway again and half and half. Well, pretty soon you realize that the uh the likelihood of actual arrival is pretty remote.

[00:00:39]This was delivered to us by uh one Zeno of Ala, a pcratic ancient Greek philosopher about whom little else really is known.

[00:00:50]Now, John Forester and I decided that this was pretty obvious cabaret comedic gold.

[00:00:59]So, we decided to write a song about Zeno's paradox and give you a maybe a little more background on it.

[00:01:15]In ancient Greece, everyone was a philosopher, even little kids.

[00:01:24]The year was 489 BC. Zeno was five and Zoe 3 in the family ox cart to the sea for a week by the sparkling shore. The ride was bumpy and long and hot. Zeno was lost in abstract thought, but Zoe's patience was almost shot. This trip is such a bore. Are we there yet, Zeno?

[00:01:50]Well, Zeno looked sad. Your question is good, but the answer may be bad.

[00:02:06]We'll never get there. We'll never get there. Cuz when we're halfway there, there's always halfway to go. However close we get, we'll never be there. Yet we'll still have halfway from there.

[00:02:24]Then halfway from there, then halfway and halfway and half. Bottom line, we'll never get there.

[00:02:34]They jangled down the dusty road. The horse flies buzzed, the wagon slowed. At the entry to their beach abode, they thumped to a welcome stop. We're here now, Zeno. But Zeno demurred. In actual fact, your statement's absurd.

[00:02:56]In actual fact, Zeno, don't be an ox.

[00:02:59]Get out of the cart. It's just a paradox.

[00:03:05]Yeah, that's what it is. It is a paradox. It's It's my paradox. It's Zeno's paradox. We'll never get there.

[00:03:16]That's just where we are. I know it seems we're close, but sorry, no cigar.

[00:03:23]However close we get, we'll never be there yet. We'll still have cubits to go, then inches to go, then centimeters, then millimeters, then nanometers, then microns and angstros, and then just a hair. But we'll never get there.

[00:03:44]Well, they obviously got there. So, philosophy is bunk. It's pointless and it's perilous, like dueling when you're drunk. But if that black hole is still your goal, you'll never get there or get anywhere. Cuz with philosophy, there's no there there. It takes you halfway. Hence with crap that makes no sense, then dumps you out on the road.

[00:04:16]perplexed and poed from thinking you're so there but finding you're nowhere at all.

[00:04:26]So, let's not go there.