Ben Russell, Amy Ruffle and Barney Pollock | Who Knew It with Matt Stewart (Full Video)

Added: 2026-05-28

[00:00:00][music] >> Welcome to Who Knew with Matt Stewart, the show where the guests write the wrong answers on the teacher Matt Stewart. And our first guest is from Thank God You're Here and who everyone went to an all girls school. It's Amy Ruffle.

[00:00:16]>> Hello. That could have been all three of us at the start.

[00:00:19]>> Yeah, could have been. But um normally I would say you're from Mako Mermaids, but I reckon last time I introduced you you seemed to be like, "Can we stop talking about that?" No, I just think >> I've done it again. You just >> and we're back and we're back.

[00:00:31]>> Just every time you mention it, she goes >> [laughter] >> A shiver runs through my body. No, I'm grateful to have been uh been employed by the good people at Netflix.

[00:00:41]>> Um yeah. Well, employed. She's sort of volunteering, I think you Volunteering?

[00:00:46]>> Well, in the way that they haven't paid you like yeah.

[00:00:49]>> [laughter] >> Yeah. So, anyway, if Netflix is listening, come on, guys.

[00:00:52]>> Give us some residuals.

[00:00:54]>> they just won't pay me, I come on, Teddy. They just won't. And when you ask, they'll be like, "Yeah, we should, but we're not going to."

[00:00:59]>> Yeah, they're pretty pretty emphatic that they don't need to do that.

[00:01:02]>> [laughter] >> And you'll still want to work there, which we do.

[00:01:05]Our second guest this week was just nominated for best newcomer at the Melbourne International Comedy Festival.

[00:01:09]It's Bonnie Polak. Aw.

[00:01:13]He lost.

[00:01:14]>> [laughter] >> It's sad. That's what the aw was for.

[00:01:19]It's sad that he lost. He's pissed off.

[00:01:21]>> I was I had a lot of money on myself.

[00:01:24]And I lost it.

[00:01:25]>> Well, everyone here has done a a first run at the Melbourne International Comedy Festival. I think you're the only one who ever got nominated. So, maybe just check your privilege.

[00:01:34]>> [laughter] >> My first My first year I got nominated for Gibbo. And I've also won the director's choice. Well, that brings us up to our third guest who won the director's choice award award at the 2024 Melbourne International Comedy Festival. It's the resident villain of the show, Ben Russell.

[00:01:49]>> the villain anymore, okay? You keep on trying to push this agenda. This villainous agenda. [laughter] Okay, I feel attacked, besmirched, and I would never besmirch.

[00:02:01]>> You besmirch me. Never. You besmirched me. I HE'S BESMIRCHED ME. THAT'S [laughter] A VERY important role. I'm feeling besmirched.

[00:02:09]Jimmy, for the last time I did the show, which was with you, Ben, you said all Scottish people are disgusting.

[00:02:13]>> [laughter] >> But that's JUST A FACT. ONE, I love Scottish people, and two, they are >> [laughter] >> Ah, yes, that was fun. Oh, well, now that I remember that, I wish I asked was asking a Scottish question first up.

[00:02:29]Yeah.

[00:02:30]Ask a Scottish question.

[00:02:33]>> [laughter] >> We had a real Scot on recently. Anyway, I we I'm getting sidetracked. We got a time crunch on.

[00:02:39]Yeah, this is going to be a quick game because Barney's got to go and get on to Twink Island.

[00:02:45]>> [laughter] >> ARE you which side of the fence are you on? I am a chaser.

[00:02:52]>> [laughter] >> All right, so the way the show works >> [laughter] >> is I ask our relatively obscure trivia question. Our contestants have to write a convincing fake answer, and then read their answers well as everyone, and they have to guess which one is correct. And the first question comes from listener Arianne from Ireland. And the question is, what is the meaning of the word petaflop?

[00:03:17]What is the meaning of the word petaflop?

[00:03:19]And while they're writing their answers, I'll explain how the scoring works. So, you get one point if your fake answer is guessed by the other contestant, or one of the other contestants, and another point if you correctly guess the answer.

[00:03:30]And by the way, I'm also playing as the house, and I've put in two of my own fake answers for each question with the help of the question writer, and we get a point for each one of these that our guests choose. So, each of us can score up to three points per round, which seems fair, but the probability actually favors me, the house. And the house always wins. If you've listened to previous episodes, you'll know that is nearly never the case, to be honest.

[00:03:49]Uh, and that that is in part because we've evened things up by giving uh triple points for the guests in the final round. Uh most of our questions, by the way, come from our great Patreon supporters. If you want to submit a question, sign up on any level via patreon.com/DoGoOnPod, linked in the show notes.

[00:04:05]Oh, by the way, we're filming episodes these days. So, if you want to watch this episode, they come out, I think, on Thursdays on the Do Go On YouTube channel.

[00:04:15]No pressure, though. I mean, it is Is a lot of it just watching people type in their phones? I think that gets It's normally edited out.

[00:04:21]>> Okay. But, um I would say this is still really a show built for audio.

[00:04:26]>> [laughter] >> I'm sure Barney will do a pretty funny face at one point, and that might be worth the Ooh, don't tell us when, though. I won't.

[00:04:35]>> [laughter] >> I won't. But, you have to listener, you'll be able to hear it. It'll sort of be like No, it'll be like that kind of [laughter] I hate a moist mouth sound.

[00:04:45]Gross.

[00:04:47]The answer in for question number one, what is the meaning of the word petaflop? Uh here are your options.

[00:04:52]Non-leaf-based autumn tree detritus.

[00:04:55]Option two, 10 times pedophile power, but flaccid as hell.

[00:04:59]Come on, Barney. [laughter] At least try. This is all part of a strategy that I'm playing. It's a bad strategy. Uh in reference to computing performance, a teraflop is 1 trillion, then a petaflop is 1 trillion trillion operations per second.

[00:05:16]A pediatric disease that only affects children prior to the onset of puberty, where the body will go limp with no explanation. Or finally, it's 18th-century sailor slang for the sea.

[00:05:28]>> [laughter] >> You been out from the petaflop lately?

[00:05:35]All right, Barney, what do you reckon?

[00:05:36]Um God, so many great options. All equal. Um I would say I'm going to go with um the computing power one.

[00:05:45]>> Computing power.

[00:05:45]>> Yeah, that sounded good.

[00:05:47]Barney. That better not be yours, Ben Russell. Okay. What was first and third?

[00:05:53]Just very quickly.

[00:05:53]>> it change your mind if it was?

[00:05:56]>> [laughter] >> The third one was the computing one. The first one was non-leaf based autumn tree detritus.

[00:06:04]>> I guess what was the second then? 10 times petaflop power but fast as hell.

[00:06:08]Yeah, you can That one's good. Yeah.

[00:06:10]>> [gasps] >> I guess leaf. Leafs? I'm not happy though.

[00:06:14]>> [laughter] >> leaf leaf detritus leaf detritus And Ben, what about you?

[00:06:20]>> So, what is the leaf detritus again? A non-leaf based autumn tree detritus.

[00:06:24]Really what it is is is not leaf based.

[00:06:27]It's anything but it's it's sort of defined by what it's not.

[00:06:29]>> The petaflop. Yes. Yeah, it's not right, is it?

[00:06:34]I've been Oh, honey, look at the petaflop.

[00:06:38]>> [laughter] >> [ __ ] maple trees petaflopping again?

[00:06:41]I've right Yeah, I'm racking up all the time.

[00:06:43]>> non-leaf based >> [laughter] >> detritus twigs and buds petaflop Why are [cough] you sleeping in the other room? And the pedophile one and then >> [laughter] >> computing one >> Yeah, pediatric disease and sailor slang. What's the pediatric disease? It only affects children prior to the onset of puberty where their bodies go limp without explanation.

[00:07:09]petaflop So, that would be a PD Mhm. PDA pedaflop pedaflop Interesting. Mhm.

[00:07:19]petaflop or >> [snorts] >> Cuz there's always one thing that you There's sneaky guys.

[00:07:26]>> Mhm.

[00:07:28]The computing power is the the one >> [clears throat] >> I mean, I know I know that a tera- T flop.

[00:07:38]You know about T flops?

[00:07:39]>> I know about T flops. Oh, that's a real thing? That's a real thing.

[00:07:42]>> Wow.

[00:07:45]Um >> What about non-leaf-based detritus? I don't [laughter] know about that. Yeah.

[00:07:50]Check out the peda- the peda-flop. She looks angry tonight.

[00:07:54]>> [laughter] >> That doesn't seem right. I'm going to go child. Child. Wait.

[00:08:00]Mhm, he's trying to read. He's trying to read the room. What about the sailors?

[00:08:05]What about the sailors?

[00:08:06]>> Did you write the child one? I wrote all five, actually.

[00:08:12]Honestly, you'd have to be honest with me. Did you write it? This is the law.

[00:08:15]>> 100%.

[00:08:17]You did?

[00:08:18]Yes.

[00:08:19]Big win for the camera.

[00:08:21]>> [laughter] >> This is on YouTube now.

[00:08:23]Get them wings, babe. No one picked mine.

[00:08:26]>> [laughter] >> [ __ ] it.

[00:08:30]Let's do uh sleepy babies. Sleepy babies.

[00:08:33]All right. [laughter] Here's who wrote the answers. Uh 18th century sailor slang for the sea, that was Ariane. Okay, the house, the question writer.

[00:08:42]Uh pedophile power times 10, but flaccid as hell. Amy. That was Barney.

[00:08:49]>> [laughter] >> Even Barney figured it out. It just came through him.

[00:08:53]Um Now, Amy went for non-leaf-based autumn tree detritus. I'm afraid that was the house. Man, I I felt fun to write it. I felt fun to read it out. Um Ben Russell went for the pediatric disease. That was Amy.

[00:09:09]At least I didn't give it to the house.

[00:09:10]Meaning uh that Bonnie is correct. It is the computer one, which also was what Ben wrote. So, he sort of [ __ ] the game.

[00:09:18]>> [laughter] >> I had to think on my feet. So, I deleted one and sort of merged them together.

[00:09:22]So, I don't know what to do with that, Amy.

[00:09:25]Wait, so you got the real answer? So, he wrote [laughter] the real answer, which That means in bold italics, you get more points.

[00:09:30]>> Well, this isn't bold italics. This is entirely different. You actually get kicked out of the show.

[00:09:35]>> [laughter] >> You're meant to still write a fake one, but uh I think Ben's going to get a point, Bonnie's going to get a point, Amy's going to get a point. Hey!

[00:09:44]>> Hey, I'm happy with that.

[00:09:45]>> Yeah.

[00:09:45]>> I'm going to win.

[00:09:46]>> [clears throat] >> Uh and that Ben, [laughter] that's amazing. No one ever gets the right answer.

[00:09:51]>> And you're right, like you wrote it out with the I think even the terms you used were maybe right.

[00:09:55]>> Yeah, I know computers, dude.

[00:09:58]Yeah, goodness me. I should have asked a special word.

[00:10:02]>> dude, okay?

[00:10:03]>> Okay, knowing about computers doesn't make you >> [laughter] >> smart.

[00:10:05]>> Yes, it does.

[00:10:07]Look at Silicon Valley.

[00:10:09]It would never do anything wrong to hurt us. [laughter] Then why do you do so much improv comedy?

[00:10:17]You have other skills. Bonnie and I, this is all we have.

[00:10:21]>> Cuz I'm scraping improv for for AI.

[00:10:25]>> [laughter] >> I'm making my own MLM.

[00:10:30]>> [laughter] >> All right, so scores so everyone but us got a point first round. That's what we want to see.

[00:10:38]>> Yeah, that's villain, that's villainous.

[00:10:40]>> That's what we want to see, everybody.

[00:10:42]>> yes.

[00:10:42]>> No, no, no, no, the house is the villain.

[00:10:44]>> is the villain.

[00:10:44]>> Yeah.

[00:10:46]Question two, two people sent this in, Jackie Gillan from Geelong and Amelia Meller from Melbourne.

[00:10:51]And the question is, what is a common name of the weed Galium aparine? So basically just come up with a fake name for a weed.

[00:11:00]You don't have to describe it or anything, just the name, common name.

[00:11:05]Come up with a fake common name for a weed.

[00:11:08]Uh while you're writing your answers, here's some more info on petaflops.

[00:11:11]Merriam-Webster writes, "A unit of measure for the calculating speed of a computer equal to one quadrillion floating-point operations per second."

[00:11:19]And Terrence Polarity writes, "A petaflop is equivalent to one quadrillion operations per second or 1,000 teraflops."

[00:11:26]Um I think that's what uh Ben basically wrote as well, so there you go. Answers are in for question number two. What is the common name of the weed Galium aparine? Here are your options: Sticky Willy, Ficus flaccidus, Bastard Bush, Orchid Nettle, Roaming Brian, OR HORSE BREATH.

[00:11:47]>> [laughter] [laughter] [laughter] >> THIS IS A GOOD ONE.

[00:12:00]>> YEAH, THAT'S really So, you all go first, yeah?

[00:12:03]>> Oh, what a dream if it's Horse Breath.

[00:12:05]>> [laughter] >> GOD, THE HORSE BREATH IS CRAZY in the garden.

[00:12:12]DON'T LET THE HORSES GET INTO THE HORSE BREATH.

[00:12:14]>> [laughter] [gasps] >> UM OH, I WANTED IT TO BE THAT SO BAD.

[00:12:21]WHAT WAS IT? Roaming Brian?

[00:12:22]>> Roaming Brian. Roaming [laughter] Brian.

[00:12:24]Orchid Nettle, Bastard Bush, Ficus flaccidus, or Sticky Willy. Sticky Willy. I think respect to Roaming Brian. I'm going Roaming Brian.

[00:12:34]>> You're going to go Roaming Brian?

[00:12:38]What do you think, Ben?

[00:12:38]>> I like Horse Breath. Yeah. Yes. I like Sticky Willy.

[00:12:45]>> [laughter] [laughter] >> Nothing like Horse Breath to give me a Sticky Willy.

[00:12:54]And what are the other ones, sorry? Uh Ficus flaccidus.

[00:12:57]>> See, we've already had a Latin name, so >> Bastard Bush.

[00:13:00]>> that that's the way.

[00:13:02]Well, I'm just I mean, I'm maybe pronouncing it Latin, but it's written in a very like plain English way.

[00:13:07]>> Yeah, but why would it have two Latin names? Well, I'm not I'm saying it. I don't think it's Latin. I think >> Why would it have two Latin names? So, it's [laughter] two Latin names.

[00:13:14]>> Well, I'm suggesting that this is not a Latin name.

[00:13:16]>> That's dumb, though.

[00:13:17]>> Okay, whoever wrote that is dumb.

[00:13:19]>> [laughter] >> Does that mean Bastard Bush, Orchid Nettle, Bastard Bush. Orchid Nettle Orchid Nettle. Orchid Nettle. Mhm. Horse breath Roman Brian >> [laughter] >> Bastard bush Or sticky willies all over the place Sticky willy and what's the what's the Latin name? Uh ficus No the the proper name Well you know I almost fell for your trap cuz the one I was just rereading that isn't that >> You absolutely fell for my trap and that's why I'm not going to pick ficus Ficus stidious The other the real Latin name is Gallium aparine I'm going to go sticky willy cuz that feels like a sticky name >> [laughter] >> And Barney?

[00:14:08]>> It's really hard not to pick horse breath but I'm going to go with bastard bush >> Bastard bush all right [ __ ] it that in for Barney he's going to [clears throat] write the answers Orchard nettle that was Barney No one picked that I love your strategy is going from 10 times pedal power >> [laughter] >> To one that is a very believable I'm like smoke >> Yeah you can't [laughter] catch me Uh Ficus flaccidus >> Ficus YOU IDIOT >> [laughter] >> IT'S A FAMOUS PLANT WORD FICUS [laughter] flaccidus Yeah but it's not a ficus you know it would be ficus is the Wait I haven't said who wrote that yet >> [laughter] >> Ficus flaccidus that was Amy >> Yeah If I had said ficus would you have No No It sounds like a Harry Potter spell and we don't talk about that anymore >> [laughter] >> Please let me talk about Harry Potter Uh Horse breath that was Ben Russell Yeah beautiful And in the message I said can I say this wink if I can't >> [laughter] >> I didn't say that >> [laughter] >> That's very funny.

[00:15:23]>> [laughter] >> All right, and then and then if you winked at me I was going to change it.

[00:15:27]Ah, that's fun. Um >> [laughter] >> Now, what else do we have?

[00:15:33]Bastard Bush.

[00:15:34]>> they've changed the name now. It's called sex workers Bush.

[00:15:37]>> [laughter] >> Thank goodness.

[00:15:40]Oh, I see.

[00:15:41]>> [clears throat] >> Ah, Bastard Bush Bonnie went for that.

[00:15:43]That was Jackie the question writer I'm afraid. Okay, the house. So, the house is on the board. Uh and Amy went for Rhyming Brian also the house which is the name of a segment at the end of a footy games where a commentator named Brian Taylor goes into the room.

[00:15:58]>> Rhyming Brian, yeah.

[00:15:59]>> Oh, and you still picked it. Yeah. Love that. I mean it could be named after that.

[00:16:04]>> him exactly.

[00:16:05]>> Or vice versa.

[00:16:06]>> Yes. Mhm.

[00:16:07]It's such a good point. Thank you. I wasn't explaining it for you. I was explaining it for international listeners. Oh. Some of who aren't familiar with >> Rhyming Brian. Well, Google >> Rhyming Brian segment. Also, you're a woman. So, that's also [laughter] Hang on, Bonnie. Bonnie. Bonnie, you were doing so well.

[00:16:23]>> This is my Yeah, I know. And sometimes the avalanche it spills. Yeah, the avalanche [laughter] slips and the avalanche falls in.

[00:16:29]>> be able to understand post football culture. Yeah, [laughter] maybe pre maybe some you know half time.

[00:16:36]>> That's just for boys.

[00:16:37]>> [laughter] >> Yeah, definitely.

[00:16:40]Jeez. All right. Um odd. What was the answer? Yeah. That means Bannie's correct. Sticky Willy. Oh, Bannie Russell.

[00:16:48]Bannie Russell's coming coming together.

[00:16:51]>> [laughter] >> He's Sticky Willy.

[00:16:55]Coming up, Ben. All the Sticky Willies can't hold me back. All right, let's keep kicking on to round three. This is comes in from Dane Helmers from Dingley Dingley Village Go Dingos. And the question is what was American footballer Elroy Hirsch's nickname?

[00:17:11]What was American footballer Elroy Hirsch's nickname?

[00:17:15]Uh while you're writing your answers, here's some more info about sticky willy. Amelia Rods, I've always called this plant goose grass, but it as it's a common garden weed, it has gathered a lot of whimsical and silly names over the centuries, including cleavers, catchweed, Robin run the hedge, and sticky willy. As many of these names suggest, the plant has a tendency to stick to clothes, hair, and fur with tiny hooked hairs like velcro, uh, which grow on the leaves, stems, and seed pods. It's native to Europe, Asia, and North Africa.

[00:17:43]Um, apparently it's been used in the past for, uh, medicine and even to stuff mattresses. And according to Jackie, it was probably introduced to Australia from Europe coming over in imported seed or attached to the fur of animals.

[00:17:56]Um, and apparently it's, yeah, it can be found now in nearly every Australian state and territory.

[00:18:03]The answers are in. Question three, what was American footballer Elroy Hirsch's nickname?

[00:18:08]Roy L.

[00:18:10]Crazy Legs.

[00:18:12]Chocolate Roy.

[00:18:14]Mr. Mittens.

[00:18:15]Kitten, uh, kisses.

[00:18:17]Or horse breath.

[00:18:19]>> [laughter] [clears throat] [laughter] [laughter] >> So, So, [laughter] Ben, it's your go first. You've got Roy L, Crazy Legs, >> said horse breath.

[00:18:41]>> [laughter] [laughter] [cough and laughter] >> Can I please have them again?

[00:18:53]>> Roy L. Roy L. Crazy Legs.

[00:18:55]>> Crazy Legs.

[00:18:56]>> Chocolate Roy.

[00:18:57]>> Chocolate Roy.

[00:18:58]>> Mr. Mittens.

[00:18:59]>> Mr. Mittens.

[00:18:59]>> Kisses.

[00:19:00]>> Kisses. Or horse breath.

[00:19:02]>> Or horse breath. What, uh, what's his full name?

[00:19:04]Uh, his full uh, his full name is Elroy Hirsch.

[00:19:09]Roy L.

[00:19:10]>> It's good. That's good.

[00:19:12]Bro Royale. Royale with Royale with cheese.

[00:19:15]>> Chocolate Roy is good as well. Kisses as well cuz of the Hershey's.

[00:19:19]>> Yes. Halls Breath.

[00:19:21]Halls Breath because >> [laughter] >> You had the breath of Halls.

[00:19:25]You reeked of [ __ ] >> [laughter] >> Mr. Mittens, you could have been a catcher. Mr. Mittens.

[00:19:33]>> Or or a baker.

[00:19:35]So yeah. Or Crazy Legs. Or Crazy Legs.

[00:19:37]Mr. Mittens.

[00:19:40]Is that what it was? Yeah. Royale, Crazy Legs, Chocolate Roy, Mr. Mittens, Kisses, or Halls Breath. And it's in foot He's a football player. He's a football player.

[00:19:48]I'm going to go Mr. Mittens.

[00:19:49]Mr. Mittens, locked in for Ben Russell.

[00:19:52]Barney, what do you reckon? Crazy Legs, lock it [laughter] in.

[00:19:57]And Amy?

[00:19:58]It's Mr. Mittens or Kisses in my head.

[00:20:00]Yeah. So I think for the fun of the game, I'll go Kisses.

[00:20:03]>> All right.

[00:20:05]Here's who wrote the answers.

[00:20:07]Halls Breath, that was Amy.

[00:20:09]>> [laughter] >> I got a quick question. Where do you get your ideas?

[00:20:14]>> [laughter] >> Me?

[00:20:19]Uh Royale, that was Dane, the question writer, aka the house. Good one.

[00:20:24]Chocolate Roy, that was Barney. Which [laughter] I thought When you went blank your mind and say something, you also said chocolate.

[00:20:33]I HAVE ONE YEAR ON.

[00:20:35]I have one year on. It's crazy.

[00:20:36][laughter] He's just waiting for the Easter Bunny.

[00:20:41]>> [laughter] >> Uh Caught out.

[00:20:44]He caught out by one of the worst detectives in the business.

[00:20:49]>> [laughter] >> Ben Ben thought we did some backyard improv classes once, like a backyard uh surgeon kind of thing.

[00:20:56]>> Yeah, yeah, yeah. And uh yeah, Ben is like, this guy's calling you out on improv. This is dangerous.

[00:21:02]>> [laughter] >> Uh now, Amy went for Kisses. That was Ben Russell. Damn, it was good. Uh, Ben Russell went for Mr. Mittens. I'm afraid that was the house.

[00:21:13]But, that means Barney's cracking his crazy legs.

[00:21:17]Nice. Couple of boys for the win. Yeah, uh-huh, the tactics are working.

[00:21:21]>> [laughter] >> You all thought I was down and out in the second round. Then, you all doubted me because I accidentally said chocolate twice.

[00:21:27]>> [laughter] >> All part of the plan.

[00:21:30]All right, question number four comes from Davidson Norris from Walla Walla, Washington. And the question is, what is the name of a global chain of bubble tea shops based in Taipei, Taiwan? Uh, the name's in English, though.

[00:21:43]So, don't write anything in Latin cuz Ben will be all over that.

[00:21:47]>> [laughter] >> Uh, you just got to come with the name of a bubble tea chain. What's the name of that bubble tea chain? But, it's an English uh, English name. And while you're writing your answers, here's some more info about Crazy Legs. According to Dane, Hersh was a tall, lanky guy with an unusual running style. And it is that running style that earned him the nickname Crazy Legs. With some observers suggesting that it appeared his legs were moving in six different directions at once. It must have been effective because he was uh, a major receiving threat, notching 60 touchdowns in his NFL career, and making both the pro and college football halls of fame.

[00:22:23]While you're still writing your answers, let's go for a quick break.

[00:22:28]>> [music] >> All right, we're back and the answers in. Question four, what is the name of a global chain of bubble tea shops based in Taipei, Taiwan? Here are your options: Big and Wet, Something Trendy, Bubble or Nothing, Bobba Me, Bobba You, Don't Yell at Me, or Pregnant.

[00:22:47]>> [laughter] >> Okay. SHAME ON YOU, BARNEY.

[00:22:53]EACH LETTER forged >> [laughter] >> out of the finest steel.

[00:22:59]>> What's wrong with you?

[00:23:00]>> [laughter] >> All right, Barney, we're back to you.

[00:23:02]What do you Good. Um >> Can you bang them out one more time really quickly? Big and wet, something trendy, bubble or nothing, bubble me bubble you, don't yell at me, or pregnant.

[00:23:12]God, it's hard to go past pregnant.

[00:23:14]>> [laughter] >> Why don't you pick that one then, Amy?

[00:23:19]I don't know. It seems too good.

[00:23:23]>> [laughter] >> I don't know. I feel like bubble, like pregnancy. You sort of get a bubble [laughter] belly.

[00:23:30]They have a big bubble. Yeah, big bubble.

[00:23:32]>> Yeah.

[00:23:33]It's like that, I think.

[00:23:36]Um I'm going to go with What was that?

[00:23:39]Bob Bubble me bubble you. I'm going to go with something trendy. Something trendy.

[00:23:45]Locked in for Bonnie. What do you think, Amy? I was thinking something trendy, too. So, as a resident woman, I'm going to pick pregnant.

[00:23:52]>> [laughter] >> For real?

[00:23:55]Really? That's Bonnie's. Yeah, no. We don't know that.

[00:23:59]>> That's what you If you put in pregnant after 5 minutes of writing, [laughter] you deserve to die.

[00:24:06]I'm going to go big and wet. Big and wet. All right. Uh in uh to in tribute to big wet. Oh, beautiful.

[00:24:14]>> Yeah. Yeah.

[00:24:15]Mish Richard. Yes.

[00:24:17]All right. Here's who wrote the answers.

[00:24:20]Uh bubble or nothing, that was the house. Bubble me bubble you, that was Ben Russell. Bubble me bubble you.

[00:24:29]>> [laughter] >> Something trendy.

[00:24:32]>> Oh.

[00:24:33]>> Uh now Bonnie went for that. It was actually written by Davidson, the question writer AK the house.

[00:24:37]>> Davidson.

[00:24:38]Uh big and wet.

[00:24:40]Uh Bonnie went for that. No, sorry. Ben went for that. That was Amy. That was the podcast law. To Mish.

[00:24:47]>> Clever. Now, Amy went for pregnant. That was Bonnie.

[00:24:51]>> [laughter] >> HOW COULD YOU DO THIS?

[00:24:55]YOU should be so >> [laughter] >> for me. embarrassed that that's what you came up with.

[00:25:04]>> [laughter] >> Some way that we could have known.

[00:25:07]What happened to you when you were trying to type that answer?

[00:25:11]>> [laughter] >> Well, that actually ties in. Yeah.

[00:25:15]>> Yeah, yeah. Alcohol fetal syndrome.

[00:25:18]>> [laughter] >> Just being born in Perth. [laughter] Yeah, yeah, guilty as charged.

[00:25:27]I was born in Melbourne, so. That means no one got it correct, which it was don't yell at me.

[00:25:32]Which I thought was also sounded like something Barney could have come up with cuz everyone's going, "Hurry up, Barney."

[00:25:38]>> [laughter] >> I thought that don't yell at me was part of pregnant.

[00:25:44]Don't yell at me don't don't yell at me pregnant.

[00:25:48]Oh, so it's don't yell at me.

[00:25:49]>> thought that they were two things, so.

[00:25:51]They I they were two things, you know.

[00:25:52]>> No, I thought they were one thing, sorry. I didn't realize. Uh afraid So, what I'm saying is I deserve I deserve a pity point. Uh so, Barney gets a point from Amy there.

[00:26:02]It was worth the time.

[00:26:03]>> Yeah, yeah, yeah. Uh House gets a point, and Amy gets a point. All right, penultimate question here comes from Rachel Rook from Sydney. What is a strange fact about British house parties in the mid-1600s?

[00:26:16]Just a little fact. 1600s >> Parties were weird. What is that? Five 400 and so 26 24th 400 years is what it is.

[00:26:26]Uh what is a strange fact about British house parties in the mid-1600s?

[00:26:30]>> 1600s, what are we talking about here?

[00:26:33]What time is >> Shakespeare maybe?

[00:26:34]>> Shakespeare Okay. Um Marlowe >> [laughter] >> Yeah, yeah, yeah. Uh Yeah, right. So, they would have Ben Jonson They would have been like, "They're all coming and inhale this lead powder."

[00:26:49]>> [laughter] >> Oh my god, just quick score for the listeners. Amy's on two, Ben and Bonnie on three, but out in front on four points it's the house.

[00:26:59]Uh here's some info about this uh bubble tea shop while they're writing their answers. Uh Davidson writes, "Based in Taipei, Taiwan, this chain of bubble tea shops also has locations in Calgary, Canada, and the greater Seattle area. Took me a long time to realize it was a bubble place, even though I was walking past it every day, but it's good tea. And it's uh it's listed in Seattle Metropolitan's uh best bubble teas in Seattle. So, uh do yourself a favor if uh if that's the kind of thing you're into and you're in that neck of the woods." The answer in for question number five, "What is a strange fact about British house parties in the mid-1600s?"

[00:27:35]"They would hire an old emaciated man to come and stumble in the garden and pretend to be a vagrant living there.

[00:27:40]The guests would then throw pennies at the man, sometimes injuring him."

[00:27:44]Option two, "Women were not allowed to enter a house party if the home did not have an entry foyer with ceilings over 15 ft."

[00:27:52]Option three, "Hosts would rent a display pineapple to add a sense of glamour to the event."

[00:27:58]Option four, "The last person to arrive would be put in the stocks at the end of the night and have the leftover food thrown at them."

[00:28:06]Brutal. Uh a flamingo would roam the property greeting guests before being shot, cooked, and eaten as the main feast.

[00:28:15]Or finally, "Nobody cares."

[00:28:19]Um okay. All right.

[00:28:23]What's your [ __ ] problem, [laughter] dude?

[00:28:24]You're making a mockery of this game. He gets nominated for a one award.

[00:28:28]>> [laughter] >> No, well that wouldn't That's a weird thing about those parties. Nobody cares.

[00:28:33]It wasn't a big deal.

[00:28:34]>> Yeah, it wasn't a big deal. You just went to the party. There didn't need to be >> Is this what you tell yourself when you're not invited to parties? You're like, "Nobody cares."

[00:28:40]Nobody cares.

[00:28:42]>> [laughter] >> Yeah, I like Courtney Barnett said that to me. Right. Okay. I know is.

[00:28:47]>> Okay. Yeah. Musician. Okay. Mhm. Sure.

[00:28:51]Uh Um You just It's a double embarrassment.

[00:28:54]>> Yeah, that sucks. For both of you. Hey, nobody cares, right? Yeah, nobody cares, Drew. Nobody cared. I hate this group of people.

[00:29:01]>> [laughter] >> Nobody cares. the sanctity of this game.

[00:29:05]Am I the only one who GIVES A [ __ ] ANYMORE? Maybe Barney is making a play for villain.

[00:29:10]>> I think so. Yeah. I got jealous at the start.

[00:29:13]At least [clears throat] I honor the audience by giving a hoot. I give a [ __ ] I don't know who Courtney Barnett is, and that is not the game. That is disrespect. That is disrespect. I know an Australian gem.

[00:29:24]Uh now, Amy, your go. What do you think?

[00:29:26]>> lot of throwing food at people. Mhm.

[00:29:29]They loved that [ __ ] back then. Food at parties.

[00:29:32]Um so, yeah, I think >> The first one felt truly evil.

[00:29:34]>> Emaciated man.

[00:29:36]>> pretty people were pretty evil back then.

[00:29:38]>> [laughter] >> Women Women not allowed unless certain foyer. That feels about right, too.

[00:29:42]>> Uh And bring it back, I say. [laughter] But, display pineapples were rented. Uh Last person arrived would be, um you know, punished, or uh flamingo would be eaten after roaming, or nobody cares.

[00:29:56]>> [laughter] >> Uh I didn't read the full thing. To me, it's Uh Courtney Barnett told told us this.

[00:30:02]Thank you. See, the flamingo or the first one of throwing food at an emaciated man. Mhm. Um and that one feels too mean for any of these people to write. So, let's go with number one. All right, number one for Amy. Ben, what do you think? I'm going to go flamingo, then.

[00:30:18]Okay, flamingo for Ben.

[00:30:20]Russell, Barney.

[00:30:22]I'm going to go >> vote for yourself.

[00:30:24]>> [laughter] >> Well, I mean, it's va- You can't say it's wrong.

[00:30:29]We can. No, you can't, because you don't know if nobody cared.

[00:30:32]>> [laughter] >> You can literally say there was a flamingo there. We need a We just need to prove that one person cared, I think.

[00:30:38]>> Yeah, true. Good luck.

[00:30:40]>> The burden of proof is on us. Yeah.

[00:30:41][laughter] Uh-huh. I'm not even sure Shakespeare existed. Yeah. You know what I mean?

[00:30:45]>> Exactly. How are you going to prove someone cares? Yeah, exactly. As if one person didn't care they were invited to the party.

[00:30:50]>> No, I've seen I know Shakespeare exists.

[00:30:51]I've seen Hamnet. Oh, yeah? Good. I haven't seen it, but >> [laughter] >> What do you reckon, Barney? Uh rented pineapple, I think, cuz that is fancy and that's time well >> as [ __ ] dude. All right, here's the rest of the answers. Women were not allowed into the party unless the foyer had high ceilings. That was Amy. You know what? Misogynist.

[00:31:10]>> [laughter] >> Uh the last person to arrive would have uh food thrown at them. In my head, I'm like, it would mean that the last person's always like calling up their friends, which they wouldn't be able to do. Sending notes to their friends. You got to come. This party's so good. I can't be the last one here.

[00:31:26]Also, like cost of living crisis, it's like, oh great, I get a meal.

[00:31:29]>> Yeah, yeah. Yeah.

[00:31:30]Open [laughter] mouth agape in the stocks. Um the flamingo. Ben Russell went for the flamingo. I'm afraid that was the house.

[00:31:38]>> Oh, boo. Which I thought was very similar to Ben's one, only instead of a flamingo, it was an emaciated man.

[00:31:45]>> [laughter] >> Amy, no one would be That's evil.

[00:31:50]Uh They used to have uh rich houses used to employ hermits. Yes.

[00:31:55]>> So, that was another lie wrapped truth wrapped in a lie. Yeah, isn't that awful? It was much earlier than I believe 1600s. Okay.

[00:32:01]>> Uh Barney wrote nobody cares. But Barney also got the correct answer. What was it? Rented display pineapple. You do not deserve any [laughter] of this. It was rented pineapples.

[00:32:11]Imagine that, renting a fruit.

[00:32:12]>> [laughter] >> Imagine. Imagine. Uh they're expensive.

[00:32:16]>> Rent a fruit, yeah. Now, we've got a choice here cuz it is 2:29. Mhm. Do we uh do you want to quickly write an answer and then you we can Uh no, I can just I mean, we'll just finish. Yeah, we'll just finish.

[00:32:29]>> [clears throat] >> You just have to be quick on this one.

[00:32:32]Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I do like [laughter] to write it.

[00:32:35]>> reason we're running late is you writing pregnant.

[00:32:39]>> [laughter] >> And take a 5 minutes to do it.

[00:32:43]While they're writing their synopsises, here's some synopsises even, maybe.

[00:32:48]Here's some more info about those pineapples. This is the corner of the curiosity cabinet.

[00:32:53]It's the mid-1600s in Britain and you're hosting a house party. You want to impress your guests. So, for your table centerpiece, you rent a pineapple. Yes, you rent a fruit. You can't eat it, it's a rental after all. But by displaying on your table, you exude a sense of importance and class.

[00:33:11]Today's pineapples are relatively affordable. I was in a supermarket over the weekend and I could have bought one for $5, but in the 1600s, pineapples cost around 8 grand in today's money.

[00:33:21]So, for anyone outside of the aristocracy, a rental was the closest they could get to this hoity-toity fruit.

[00:33:28]The pineapple first made its way to Europe at the turn of the 16th century with Christopher Columbus, who took [clears throat] a plant back from Spain uh to Spain from his travels. The pineapple was previously unknown in the old world and its exotic appearance was enhanced by a golden crown, viewed as the symbolic manifestation of the divine right of the king, according to Cardiff University Professor Lorna Hegan.

[00:33:50]The fruit earned the nickname king pine and it became a must-have accessory among European elites.

[00:33:56]Charles II of England even commissioned a portrait of himself being presented with a pineapple.

[00:34:01]While the aristocracy could afford to own their own pineapples and invest in developing pineapple growing techniques, the middle class, wanting to emulate the dinner parties of the rich, would often rent pineapples as a sign of wealth and good taste.

[00:34:14]Even this though wasn't cheap to do, so the pineapples would be passed from renter to renter, from party to party over a few days until nature took its course and the fruit rotted away. Here's the final question. What is the brief synopsis of the 1969 film The Valley of the Gwangi? The Valley of the Gwangi.

[00:34:30]You've got five options. Here they are.

[00:34:32]Simon, a young boy on a camping trip with his parents discovers a hidden valley full of mysterious quick mysterious creatures.

[00:34:40]>> [laughter] >> Known as the Mysterious creatures known as the Guanji. When poachers arrive intent on hunting the Guanji down for their magical wish granting horns, it's up to Simon to help his new friends defend themselves.

[00:34:54]Option two. Hunter is a sophomore who has never left his hometown and dreams of bigger things.

[00:35:00]>> [laughter] >> When the circus comes to town he befriends the ringmaster and sets off on a cross-country journey only to discover life on the road is not all it's cracked up to be.

[00:35:12]Option three. A sci-fi epic set on the dark side of the moon. A brave [clears throat] team of astronauts come across an alien race living in a deep valley. These aliens do not come in peace. They are not perverts at all, but they are evil and rich with [laughter] US dollars.

[00:35:31]It was so close.

[00:35:33]Evil and rich with US dollars.

[00:35:36]We are evil and rich with US dollars.

[00:35:40]>> [laughter] >> We are the Guanji.

[00:35:43]Option four.

[00:35:45]A cowboy named Tuck Kirby seeks fame and fortune by capturing a dinosaur living in the Forbidden Valley and putting it in a Mexican circus. His new attraction though, called the Guanji, turns out to have an aversion to being shown in public.

[00:35:59]Or finally, Stan lives an isolated life at the end of the world. One day a woman and her son pursued by mutants through the atomic zone seek shelter. Soon Stan and the pair must travel far for their search of a lush valley beyond the atomic zone, the Valley of the Guanji.

[00:36:17]All right, Ben. What do you reckon?

[00:36:20]I'm not I'm not going to overthink this.

[00:36:22]I'm just going to go dinosaur cowboy.

[00:36:25]Dinosaur the Locked in for Ben Russell. Barney. Well, I wanted to go with the last one cuz it sounds cuz they used the term mutants and there's a nuclear thing 1960s but Ben was looking at me too much during that Ben.

[00:36:38]>> [laughter] >> He was though. You think he was studying you for the whole time?

[00:36:41]>> them all again?

[00:36:44]>> [laughter] >> Uh sorry I had Simon and Uh with his parents discovered he had a vampire for a fair. Some beautiful Australian I think he he's he's I think he wrote them all he's looking at me. Uh um um I'm going to go with um >> [snorts] >> Uh the What was the first one?

[00:37:01]First one was Simon a young boy on a camping trip. I'm going to go with Simon. With the wish granting horns.

[00:37:08]>> the horns.

[00:37:09]>> [laughter] >> Uh I got lured in by the horns again.

[00:37:14]>> [laughter] >> He's still looking. I don't know now.

[00:37:16]It's so You got Simon. You got Hunter.

[00:37:19]>> I'll go Simon and the horns. All right, Simon horns. Simon and the horns. I'm going to go Stan and the nuclear thing.

[00:37:24]Stan the Final one. Ben was not looking at you. I wasn't looking at him. Yeah, okay.

[00:37:29]Uh all right, here's who wrote the answers.

[00:37:33]Uh the one where they are not perverts and then I shouldn't say in all caps at all >> [laughter] >> but they are evil and rich with US >> perverts at all.

[00:37:44]At all. And but then it says uh but they are evil and rich with not capitalized US dollars which [laughter] I was a real roller coaster for me reading it for the first time.

[00:37:55]>> I'm saying with US dollars?

[00:37:56]>> [laughter] >> They've got US dollars.

[00:37:59]That was Barney.

[00:38:00]>> Whoa.

[00:38:01]Crazy.

[00:38:04]Uh Hunter being a sophomore who's never left his hometown dreaming of bigger things joins the circus. That was Amy.

[00:38:10]Sophomore?

[00:38:12]Sophomore that boy.

[00:38:13]>> sophomore. Sophomore I think Americans say sophomore.

[00:38:16]>> now dude. I think Americans say sophomore and uh Australians maybe say sophomore. Well, they say it I think one says it different. Barney, back me up here. You're the only other true blue in the house.

[00:38:27]>> Yeah, the only other true blue here. I would say there's a real true blue.

[00:38:31]You're not an American. She just sounds weird. How dare you?

[00:38:34]>> an American. You're going to trust chocolate boy INSTEAD OF ME?

[00:38:36]>> [laughter] >> I THOUGHT YOU WERE like Ben, sort of a hybrid American Australian.

[00:38:40]>> No, man.

[00:38:42]You did live there for quite a while though. Yes. Well, that's it. That's what I meant.

[00:38:46]>> take away my heritage. Okay, I apologize. It does a little bit.

[00:38:49]>> [laughter] >> Uh so, I apologize, but that's how I say sophomore. But you say sophomoric? No, I say sophomore. You say sophomore and I say sophomore. Yeah, but you just said that's how I say sophomore.

[00:39:02]>> [laughter] >> You can't get me. Um >> [laughter] >> Now, uh Barney went for Simon, the horn hunter. Yeah. Or no, not the horn hunter, the horn protector. Yes. That was David the question right on my phone.

[00:39:20]So, that's just one. Uh Amy went for Stan with the mutants.

[00:39:28]Ben was looking at you, Barney, because he did write that. And you read that What? SO WELL. THAT'S AMAZING. AND that must have felt a little embarrassing to you that you were so needy.

[00:39:37]>> [laughter] >> That must have felt a little bit The funny thing is I don't even remember looking at you. Needy boy. What do you think, Barney? What do you think of my audio?

[00:39:46]>> [laughter] >> I do not even remember looking at you.

[00:39:49]The way you looked at me was like, "That's the one." But a little bit interesting though that >> Weird. Ben didn't look at Amy like a He doesn't see women.

[00:39:59]Yeah. [laughter] Like [clears throat] if Ben was an agent, I don't see gender.

[00:40:03]I'm brave like that. Ben knows he can manipulate Barney though. He knows he's got no hope with me. He's got a soft brain.

[00:40:09]>> [laughter] >> He is smooth.

[00:40:14]Uh but that means Ben is also correct.

[00:40:17]There's a cowboy there. TOOK AMY.

[00:40:20]I'LL TELL YOU THIS, IF YOU you watch the old Planet of the Apes, I just watched the sequel, Beneath the Planet of the Apes, and they both star this guy, James Franciscus. Yeah, right.

[00:40:29]>> He's Tuck Kirby, but he's also like the He's basically the new Charlton Heston.

[00:40:34]>> Yeah, nice. Uh, in the second Planet of the Apes.

[00:40:38]Tuck Kirby is such a good name.

[00:40:39]>> Tuck Kirby.

[00:40:40]>> Tuck Kirby. None of these jokers could have come up with that.

[00:40:43]>> Yeah, everyone else didn't have the the guts. We came up with Simon, Hunter, >> Hunter's pretty American. Come on.

[00:40:49]I'd say Hunter was Stan is a very 1969 name. It is. But we didn't do last names, and that is on us.

[00:40:55]I did, but then I chickened out.

[00:40:57]>> Wow. What was the last name going to be?

[00:40:59]Uh, it was Stan Horbreth.

[00:41:02]>> [laughter] >> I forget now, but I did I did delete it cuz I thought it was too much.

[00:41:08]>> Just as I'm adding up final scores, where can people find you? Uh, my Instagram is I'm Ben Russell. Check that out. That's got links to everything you possibly want to know about me.

[00:41:18]>> the show?

[00:41:19]We're doing it as a group. But I don't have any dates going up.

[00:41:21]>> they follow you, they'll they'll hear about it.

[00:41:23]>> Yeah, exactly. If you follow that, I will give it to I'll give you it for free.

[00:41:28]I'll give you the dates for free.

[00:41:30]>> [laughter] >> The tickets you'll have to pay for.

[00:41:33]Barney, what about you? Uh, you can find me at barney.pollock on Instagram, and on there is dates galore. That's all I'm kind of posting. I'm Dates. Dates.

[00:41:43]>> [laughter] >> Dates.

[00:41:44]Yeah. I'll see you guys at Tuck Kirby.

[00:41:48]Dates for dates.

[00:41:49]>> Dates [laughter] for dates. Yeah.

[00:41:51]And Amy? Um, Amy Louise Raffle on Instagram. You touring the new show? I'm going to do Replay Festival at Comedy Republic. So, my show's Saturday, August the 5th.

[00:42:01]Um, I would love everyone to come cuz the show's so much better than the first time I did it. And otherwise, something good, improv, every Wednesday at 6:30 at Comedy Republic. And you get such cool guests as well.

[00:42:13]>> the coolest guests and we've just done the dates for May and there's some [ __ ] cool people coming. Hot tip.

[00:42:20]Yeah. Uh all right, final scores.

[00:42:24]Uh in fourth place on two points, Sammy Rachwal.

[00:42:28]>> What? Wow.

[00:42:29]>> [laughter] >> That's devastating.

[00:42:31]>> Wow, wait, yeah, replay that, mate.

[00:42:34]In >> [laughter] >> I thought you had to leave. No, I'm staying.

[00:42:39]On four points, it's Bonnie Pollock. Oh, yeah. In second place on six points, I think nearly all of those points were earned by Barney.

[00:42:48]>> [laughter] >> But out in front on 10 points with a huge final round, IT'S BEN RUSSELL.

[00:42:53]>> YES!

[00:42:54]I EARNED THIS WIN.

[00:42:56]>> [laughter] >> A REAL HEEL TURN or the opposite. Face turn? Face turn. A real face turn. Uh congratulations, Ben. Thanks. I'd just like to thank everyone out there for, you know, your ongoing support. I've been uh a lot of your support. You guys have really been there for me and you've said, "Hey, Ben's not a villain." And I really do appreciate your support out there. Honestly, no one was saying that.

[00:43:16]This one's for the This one's for the fans of the pod. You guys have stuck with me thick and thin and I couldn't have done it without you. Thank you so much. Uh please hang around for the post-credits where there will be, I think, some real quality nonsense that Connor will have trimmed out and left it uh for you at the end for your listening pleasure. Uh thanks so much for joining us, you three. Go see something good on Is it every week?

[00:43:37]>> Every week. Every Wednesday at 30, Comedy Republic. Uh that's a hot tip. Uh and cheers for tuning in to Who Knew With Matt Shaw? Now that you know it, I've been Matt Shaw. Goodbye.

[00:43:47]>> [music] >> Oh, man, these Storm are not having a good season.

[00:44:00]>> Oh, really? Yeah. I have not been keeping up to date. Yeah. Because my team doesn't come until maybe next year or the year after. Go the Bears. Go Perth. Oh, yeah, but the Bears. Go the Bears. Go the Bears. Are you a Perth person as well?

[00:44:13]>> No, but I He goes for Bears.

[00:44:16]>> I go for Bears because when I was a kid, I existed in in Sydney and they just had the same colors as my AFL team.

[00:44:23]And then like soon after with a lot of my teams aren't very good and they just like got kicked out.

[00:44:29]>> [laughter] >> Brutal. Anyway.

[00:44:32]>> know you could do that. Get kicked out.

[00:44:34]>> The Storm, after having a very good run for a very long time, are now >> They've never been down. They've never been down.

[00:44:41]>> Maybe ever. They're on a six-losing streak.

[00:44:44]>> Oh, [ __ ] What a horrible time to come into the organization.

[00:44:48]>> [laughter] >> Are you trying to do like >> go into specifics of what I do in the organization at all, but let's just say that there are whispers that I am a curse.

[00:44:57]>> [laughter] >> That's so funny.

[00:45:03]>> legacy. [laughter] I know.

[00:45:05]>> [gasps] >> UH YOU'RE REALLY [ __ ] ME HERE, Melbourne Storm.

[00:45:09]>> They're so to the point where they're like, "We We don't have the budget we thought. Tickets [laughter] Ticket sales are down."

[00:45:17]No, I think that's fine, but um Yeah, it's just interesting, isn't it?

[00:45:21]How the How the cards fall sometimes.

[00:45:24]Yeah, they seem like a team that would never drop.

[00:45:27]>> Yeah, they have They have six like last on Saturday, they just got [ __ ] destroyed.

[00:45:34]>> they have kind of team >> And I've I've become quite invested now.

[00:45:39]Oh, no. And I don't know how you do it being a Saints fan.

[00:45:43]>> [laughter] >> That's really rough. I don't know how you do it with that like it breaks your heart.

[00:45:48]>> Every like every weekend, you know, more weekends than not are are sad. Yeah, you just get I got really sad.

[00:45:55]>> [laughter] >> Makes no sense. But you're you're at least you've met them and you've worked with them. I'm I'm sad about people I've never met. Children [laughter] you've never met. Probably a lot of them I wouldn't like. Yeah, and a lot of them wouldn't like you.

[00:46:08]>> [laughter] >> Is this maybe why like men are so mad?

[00:46:13]Oh, classic. My microphone is >> That is so true.

[00:46:17]>> [laughter] >> Why men are so mad is cuz they their teams are always >> Yeah, they're always losing. Yeah, it does it does This is the first time I've really like besides baseball which it's it's hard to kind of get angry in baseball because So many games as well.

[00:46:31]Yeah, so many games. So many games. Like oh, we'll play again later in half an hour. Yeah, exactly. You're just like oh well, we'll we'll just keep going.

[00:46:38]>> [laughter] >> Um Who's your team out of one of the Chicagans? Oh, no, Texans. I'm straight cuz I've got like three teams that I kind of will go for.

[00:46:48]That also helps.

[00:46:49]>> Yeah. So you've got Every season you've got about what 4,000 games?

[00:46:54]>> I love I like the Cubs and I like the >> is that from Back to the Future? The Cubs. Yeah, the Cubs. And I like the Texas Rangers and uh Walker? Yeah. Not everything is a movie.

[00:47:07]>> [laughter] >> Thank you.

[00:47:08]>> Just let it be a thing. Yeah.

[00:47:10]And the Dodgers. I go for the Dodgers as well. Ah, the Dodge car that they drove in.

[00:47:15]>> Dodge ball. Then uh you know the Fast and the Furious Fast and the Furious. Is this what it's going to be? No.

[00:47:20]>> [laughter] >> No, we haven't started yet. But uh yeah, I don't I honestly have a newfound respect for St. Kilda players yes because you guys suck all the time.

[00:47:28]>> Well, not this week. Yeah, I mean Uh are we recording? When is this coming out?

[00:47:32]Can I Can I date it? Yeah, yeah, well.

[00:47:34]It's Yeah, it'll be out like two days.

[00:47:36]>> game as well.

[00:47:36]>> Okay. We won. We Oh, your team This is turning into a horror movie. What's your team?

[00:47:41]>> West Coast.

[00:47:41]>> We lost by a lot of points.

[00:47:43]>> West Coast, I used cuz I grew up in Perth and I used to go for West Coast.

[00:47:49]But I I I don't like them.

[00:47:50]>> [laughter] >> So I switched. I switched to being a Dees player.

[00:47:56]Oh, no.

[00:47:57]Well, they're Well, they well at the moment. Yeah, they are. Conor, the editor of the show, is a huge baseball guy. Yeah. But, he goes for the Brewers.

[00:48:04]Does that mean anything to you? Yeah, it means something. I mean, yeah. They're one of the teams. Yeah, it's one of the I go for the Detroit uh Tigers. Yeah, great. The Tigers. Love the Tigers.

[00:48:12]>> Got a hat? Yeah. I get the message and they lose a lot and I start my day often >> I think you're the curse. I look at my phone and I see, "Oh, Tigers lost." And that's how I start a lot of days.

[00:48:25]>> Yeah. Which I think is a really humbling Yeah. way to start a day.

[00:48:29]And my main two teams are Rangers and Dodgers.

[00:48:33]>> I don't know. I've never heard of the Rangers. New York Rangers? No, at least >> heard of them. I might I think I'm getting mixed up, but anyway. Oh, no. I haven't taken my ADHD meds, so Wait, did you say your main team you don't know the name of? Texas [laughter] baseball.

[00:48:46]At least they were the Texas Oh, I guess Rangers is maybe ice hockey. In ice hockey the New York team is the Rangers. And ice hockey is my favorite American sport. In ice hockey the New York team is the Rangers. And ice hockey is my favorite American sport.

[00:48:57]>> Having too many Rangers. But, I also like there are so many teams that I kind of like in in in baseball because it's such a We're in a tight time schedule. I know. I'm >> [laughter] >> I'm just like You enjoy talking about sports as a sports podcaster.

[00:49:10]Say what the goss was without saying the person?

[00:49:13]Uh I think so. They had >> [laughter] >> They like have a uh island and they bring the Twinks out and the Twinks go They hunt for a Twink.

[00:49:24]When [laughter] you catch the Twinks, you can [ __ ] the Twink.

[00:49:27]>> With a gun? No, with the dick. Okay.

[00:49:30]>> [laughter] >> I thought for a bit you were doing a >> [laughter] >> Is that a true thing? Uh I It's a rumor, but it was one of the best rumors I've ever heard. That's a good joke. They release They release the Twinks.

[00:49:44]>> [laughter] >> And if you catch one And the Twinks frolic around.

[00:49:49]>> dangerous a Jeez. The Twink [laughter] floats around the island and you've got to catch them.

[00:49:55]>> Mat, you've got to get control.

[00:49:57]You've got to catch all the twinks.

[00:50:00]Oh my god. Have you Oh, hang on. It's refreshing. Okay, no.

[00:50:06]You have uh You've You've sent in answers. I have.

[00:50:09]Yeah, I'm sorry about that. Did everyone else use Facebook Messenger?

[00:50:12]>> No, no. I think everyone's using Instagram and it's just >> I've got Facebook Messenger. Oh.

[00:50:20]Oh.

[00:50:22]Was that the face? I wasn't looking. No, no. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, [laughter] no, no, no, no, no, no, you'll know.

[00:50:27]You'll know.

[00:50:29]Why do you think Scottish people are disgusting?

[00:50:31]>> I Because they are they they don't eat any vegetables and they drink they start drinking whiskey at 11:00 in the morning every morning. I think if it was like dreary weather for 11 months of the year, we'd all be disgusting, right? Cuz you're inside.

[00:50:46]You haven't got any >> [laughter] >> We're disgusting as you.

[00:50:49]I'm not saying that we're not disgusting. Mhm. Okay? We're no better.

[00:50:54]We are Most of Australia's descendant from Scots. Sure.

[00:50:59]>> My family is Scottish. Do you think they need like a stronger hot ambassador? Cuz you know, like we'll be like we've got like Margot Robbie and Chris Hemsworth, so everyone's like, "Oh, everyone in Australia looks >> They've got heaps of hot ambassadors.

[00:51:10]>> Name one. Ewan McGregor.

[00:51:13]Mhm.

[00:51:15]Okay. Oh, you got pawned as hell.

[00:51:17]>> [laughter] >> I just I don't think he's that hot, okay? Okay, who else? Sam Riley. Yep.

[00:51:23]>> Thorne's fine. Dave Callan. No, he's Irish. Yeah, he's Irish. Oh, no. Look who's the villain of the podcast now.

[00:51:30]>> so confused. Yeah, well, that doesn't help. Um Uh who else we got? Hot Scottish people.

[00:51:38]>> Shrek two. Sean Connery. [laughter] Sean Connery.

[00:51:43]You know, the list goes on.

[00:51:45]>> Gerard Butler. Oh, okay. Oh, now you're on board. We just he was in Melbourne recently so had a connection, you know.

[00:51:51]You had a connection cuz he was in the same city.

[00:51:54]>> [laughter] >> If they're not in my vicinity, I don't care. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[00:51:58]Uh Yeah, they turned a street in Abbotsford into New York City.

[00:52:03]Woah, how'd they do that?

[00:52:05]Um Added a bit of grime? Yeah, A-sign and some trash bags. That was pretty much it.

[00:52:10]>> Hell, yeah. Wow. I'm walking here to a cafe.

[00:52:14]>> [laughter] >> To have a lovely scrambled eggs. Uh what about >> here for to get a chilly scram.

[00:52:21]>> [laughter] >> I'm walking to get the best bun meat in this town on Victoria Street. What about David Tennant? Is David Tennant? Yep, good one. What about uh what's her name again?

[00:52:32]Oh, Tilda Swinton.

[00:52:33]>> Tilda Swinton, she's Scottish. Like in terms of this, uh Google. What about this guy? What's that guy's name again?

[00:52:40]Um >> Greebus.

[00:52:42]He's X-Men. He's from X-Men.

[00:52:45]>> Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. James McAvoy.

[00:52:47]Yeah, there's so many hot Scottish people. Uh the Scots I mean >> [laughter] >> We're here to talk about our new business hotscots.com.

[00:52:57]For a small monthly fee, you can talk to a hot Scot.

[00:53:02]>> [laughter] >> I what you're pissing on about, you wee [ __ ] I'm I'm waiting, waiting for you, you dirty WEE BASTARD.

[00:53:14]>> [laughter] >> OH. [clears throat] ALL RIGHT.

[00:53:19]>> [laughter] >> You look really pleased with yourself, Ben. [laughter] I don't know if I am.

[00:53:27]I don't know if I am, yeah. He's got you right where he wants you.

[00:53:30]>> know if I am.

[00:53:32]If anyone ever [laughter] read back the message exchanges with Matt Stewart, they would have died of [ __ ] crazy laughter.

[00:53:38]>> Don't ever try and get into the [laughter] United States.

[00:53:45]They're going to be They're going to be turn you back.

[00:53:47]>> [laughter] >> You're going to disappear into an El Salvadoran prison.

[00:53:52]It's also such a power move cuz it's like six unanswered messages. And so you just look [laughter] like you're escalating every time being like this man won't pay attention to >> leaves us all on read. Is that what After you have you You said before you start the day with a loss cuz your team loses. Do you then go through all the messages, see who you can reply, >> [laughter] >> and sing You know that Drake song sex started from the bottom now we're here to yourself while you're tucked in?

[00:54:13]Yeah, that is exactly how I start the day, which feels really good. Yeah. I don't I I used to occasionally respond out of the blue to someone like I noticed that I was about to message them and I just say, "Are you okay?"

[00:54:23]>> [laughter] [music] >> It's a It's a hard game, apparently. Oh my god, that was That was I mean >> Blew my mind.

[00:54:36]>> That was wild stuff.

[00:54:37]>> hard job.

[00:54:38]Yeah, I wouldn't >> People will say the worst things possible.

[00:54:41]>> [laughter] >> That was And that was a king's counsel.

[00:54:44]Yeah.

[00:54:45]It's crazy. That was bizarre. I've been in the hospital and they've not once called me a slur.

[00:54:52]>> [laughter] >> But it's so strange. So strange.

[00:54:57][laughter] Out of context it's not going to make any sense, but an AFL player happens to play for the Saints. Um used Well, he says he said maggot. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[00:55:08]The other player says he said a Sure.

[00:55:11]more specific slur. And uh like yeah, but it went to court uh went to the tribunal. He got nine weeks, then it got uh uh what do you call it when you ask them to check again?

[00:55:22]>> Appealed.

[00:55:22]>> Appealed. And um And uh and then it went to this higher court that's separate from the AFL.

[00:55:28]And it's led by a like a high-up lawyer guy, king's counsel. And he said, "Look, I think he probably said it, but we're reducing the sanction to four weeks because it's a tough game.

[00:55:42]>> [laughter] >> People will say sexist and homophobic and racist things on the field.

[00:55:47]So that guy got fired a couple days later.

[00:55:50]>> Oh, good. Did he get fired? Yeah, he did. Um very strange. Yeah, if you're stressed, a slur is fine.

[00:55:56]>> Yeah, yeah.

[00:55:57]>> That's basically what he's saying. That [laughter] was such And he's written this out. You know, it's such a like it seems like a slip-up, but he's written it in a legal document and sent it off as the official Imagine what the first draft said.

[00:56:09]>> [laughter] >> It said the slur again. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Here is a tough job.

[00:56:13]>> say >> [laughter] >> I thought for a little bit that Amy's tapping was really rhythmic and I realized that Ben's just um made a song. [snorts] >> [laughter] >> Stolen valor, taking your rhythm credit.

[00:56:30]>> Don't steal my rhythm.

[00:56:31]>> [laughter] >> And people look at me and they say she's a girl that's got to have rhythm. Yeah.

[00:56:34]And he knows computers.

[00:56:37]What's my thing? Uh Um It's best we don't.

[00:56:40]>> you you >> Yeah. have a beard.

[00:56:43]>> Yeah.

[00:56:44]>> [laughter] >> Oh, no.

[00:56:46]Barney, your thing is that you're here.

[00:56:48]>> Yeah, true. True. Yeah. You're really present.

[00:56:51]>> Yeah, I'm really present.

[00:56:52]>> You're one of the most present people I've ever seen. So true. So true.

[00:56:56]>> Say the first thing that's coming to your new head right now now that you're present.

[00:56:59]Get me some hot chocolates.

[00:57:01]Quickly.

[00:57:04]>> [snorts] >> Okay.

[00:57:05]>> Exactly, see? [laughter] See?

[00:57:07]Ben and I wouldn't have been able to do that. I could never do what you did.

[00:57:09]>> Yeah.

[00:57:10]>> [laughter] >> Thank you. Hollywood stars are so lucky to have you as a teacher.

[00:57:15]>> [laughter] >> It's just a sample of the kind of stuff I throw out.

[00:57:18]>> Cuz they would need that in a script to be able to Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Every scene I'm like, when are they going to have a hot chocolate?

[00:57:25]But that's cuz I'm not in it, but if I'm in it, I will make sure that's happening. All right.

[00:57:31]>> [laughter] >> I winked at the camera.

[00:57:37]It's a little wink at me.

[00:57:37]>> Oh, I should also say uh for the listeners uh after after Amy wrote horse breath that last time, she said, "Can I say that wink? If not >> [laughter] >> I just thought of something for me which I liked.

[00:57:52]It's the game within the game, you know.

[00:57:54]Oh, wait. You wrote another answer.

[00:57:56]What? Oh, no. Yes.

[00:57:58]>> that's my answer for this round, please.

[00:58:00]>> [laughter] >> Oh, man.

[00:58:02]>> read it out. This is a really hard show to host, I tell you.

[00:58:06]>> [laughter] >> Cuz I I mean >> Cuz like Barney, I've only got one idea.

[00:58:10]So, if you blow [laughter] that one All my answers were just like chocolate rainbow.

[00:58:16]>> [laughter] >> Can we talk about this?

[00:58:37]Yeah, if you'd like to.

[00:58:38]>> yours? Uh it's it's it's an office. It's an office glass. An office heirloom.

[00:58:43]It's a Schneider Weisse. Nice. Uh it's a it's a beer by G. Schneider and Sohn. [laughter] It's got one of those say son like just with an H in it. Sohn. Sohn.

[00:58:54]>> It's um quite a big vessel. It is, yeah.

[00:58:57]Bulbous. I see that you took care of yourself having some water today. Well, uh to be honest He got us coffee.

[00:59:05]>> you all coffees, but I also this was >> a dehydrating agent.

[00:59:09]>> I've recorded two episodes back-to-back and this this is a leftover from that. I didn't go and fill it up. I should have.

[00:59:13]>> was in this morning? Uh Kirsty Webeck and Jess Perkins. Wow.

[00:59:18]>> Just two? Just the two, yeah. Mish Witrue was uh in and out because uh got a real real job. Mm. Oh. Happens to the best of them. You know. Yeah.

[00:59:29]Totally worth it.

[00:59:30]>> All three of us are here. Just keep that in mind.

[00:59:32]>> Bonnie's dots are absolutely dancing.

[00:59:34]>> [laughter] >> It's a It's not supposed to be >> Get ready for my manifesto.

[00:59:38]>> [laughter] >> It's just a name of a store, dude. If you really want one that's like chocolate drinks.

[00:59:44]Bonnie's writing their specials on Tuesdays.

[00:59:47]Chocolate bubble drink [laughter] time.

[00:59:55]Tapioca chocolate balls.

[00:59:59]>> [laughter] >> Pedophiles are us.

[01:00:03]You genuinely have to >> reading my mind?

[01:00:05]>> [laughter] >> You have to write one word. Like like two if you want.

[01:00:09]>> Yeah. Well, now I'm going to have to write more.

[01:00:10]Yeah. God.

[01:00:14]Bonnie. Yeah. You've got a hard out.

[01:00:16]>> I know.

[01:00:16]>> [laughter] >> It's going to be terrible. Just say something.

[01:00:21]>> [laughter] >> No one's going to pick it. Take the L, dude.

[01:00:25]No one's going to pick it, Bonnie. You are wasting your >> [laughter] >> Just write horse breath and be done.

[01:00:35]>> [laughter] >> I would please come by chocolate >> [laughter] >> chocolatey horse breath, okay?

[01:00:45]Work to your strengths. Wink if not okay.

[01:00:49]>> [laughter] >> Come on, dude. We can't get you nominated.

[01:00:55]NO ONE CAN MOVE ON.

[01:00:57]Perfect is the enemy of good, dude.

[01:01:00]You're telling me.

[01:01:02]>> [laughter] >> I guess we can just play the last round without Bonnie.

[01:01:09]>> Yeah. Yeah, so I mean it's going to have to be last round after this because he's taking so long. Great. So, now you're taking away from us, Bonnie. No. No, he's taking How can you still have [laughter] things to write?

[01:01:17]HOW CAN YOU STILL WHAT THE [ __ ] are you WHAT ARE YOU ARE YOU JOKING TO KILL ME?

[01:01:22]>> BUBBLE TIME. IT'S COMING. I'll help. Uh bubble time. Yeah, it's coming [laughter] waters.

[01:01:29]Uh uh uh tea for you?

[01:01:31]I am I think everyone's going to be like when [laughter] they hear what Trauma was buying I think everyone's going to be like, "Okay, that was worth waiting for."

[01:01:40]>> Yeah, I don't I don't believe that's true. [laughter] It will be.

[01:01:44]>> Unless >> [clears throat] >> it like it's going to be five people whose answers are two words and then a 14 paragraph [laughter] Yeah.

[01:01:50]All right, it loses something in the translation in the translation translation between Taiwanese.

[01:01:57]>> [laughter] >> All right.

[01:02:02]How how'd you go at your at the comedy festival around Ben?

[01:02:05]Man, Suran went so we freaking loved it.

[01:02:07]>> Yeah, thank you very much for coming. It was so fun. Uh I thought Ben Russell's a musical comedian couldn't work.

[01:02:14]>> [laughter] >> And it did.

[01:02:16]>> I am I'm a music musical music Jason, I would say.

[01:02:21]>> Yeah. It was fun. I was dancing. Yeah, like you know seated dancing.

[01:02:25]>> Yeah, I love that.

[01:02:26]It was super fun cuz it was just like you know, I don't care I'm I don't care anymore.

[01:02:32]Not like these young'uns.

[01:02:35]I'm just in it for the for the pure fun of doing your own show.

[01:02:38]>> Yeah, Barney's in it for the awards.

[01:02:40]>> Yeah.

[01:02:42]>> [clears throat] [laughter] >> Cuz I feel like a lot of comics do kind of forget that this is a quite a fun time to just put a show together and develop a show. Everyone's so sometimes caught up in the the awful politics of the whole thing.

[01:02:57]They forget, "Oh no, you can actually have a lot of fun developing a show that is you just want to do." And then it's funny how people enjoy watching people doing something they're enjoying. Yeah, it's weird.

[01:03:09]>> It is weird.

[01:03:10]You want to watch people having fun. So, but Amy also did her Oh, I loved it.

[01:03:16]>> debut. It was great. So good. Thank you for coming. It was It was a It was a wild town, beautifully told. Yeah.

[01:03:24]And I had fun. Towards the end, I was like, "Oh, I get it. Uh-oh."

[01:03:27]>> Yeah, it's fun. [laughter] >> Sucked in. It is really fun. It's fun to run in this show.

[01:03:32]>> It's fun to have an audience every night, you know? And to see where it started and like how much different and better the show was after 11 shows. Like what a gift.

[01:03:41]>> Yeah. Yeah, it's an absolute delight.

[01:03:43]>> yeah. So I kind of had a very wholesome time. I overcommitted outside of that. I did too many shows.

[01:03:50]I think one night I did like four shows in one night.

[01:03:54]But you're you're in America with a grand culture Well, that was my I got cocky because I was like Oh, yeah. I'm just going to people go to work. Mhm.

[01:04:03]People work 12 hours. It's like Four shows in a day is not >> That's [ __ ] all. Yeah. But then you realize it's actually different. But when you go to New York, [laughter] you call New York the comedy gym, don't you? That's where you go to work out.

[01:04:16]>> That's true.

[01:04:17]>> [laughter] >> All right, the final question comes from David Malowski from London. This is worth triple points.

[01:04:27]Uh it's truly still anyone's game. So just a very brief film film synopsis for the 1969 film The Valley of the Gwangi. You got to write a a brief synopsis for the 1969 film The Valley of the Gwangi.

[01:04:41]>> spell that?

[01:04:42]Uh g w a n g i And yeah, I'm talking like two or three sentences.

[01:04:50]Uh and while you're WRITING THOSE ANSWERS >> [laughter] >> I'M SORRY. BARNABY'S LOSING IT.

[01:04:58]I'M SORRY. It's just It took me so long to write one word before that. I'm worried about this.

[01:05:03]Uh yeah, two or three sentences.

[01:05:04]>> Yeah. [ __ ] Oh my goodness.

[01:05:13]You just in over and over.

[01:05:14]>> [laughter] >> Yeah. What was So, you were at you went to Jack Quaid's wedding? I didn't. No, no, no.

[01:05:22]But a bunch of celebs were around the place Yeah. last weekend.

[01:05:28]>> And you were hobnobbing? I wasn't I was only I was I just heard second hand.

[01:05:31]>> Right.

[01:05:32]Um but it was pretty it sounded very cool.

[01:05:37]Yeah. Yeah. Mhm. Sounded very cool.

[01:05:40]>> Jack Quaid, that means his uh his uh Dennis parents Dennis >> Yeah. and Meg Ryan or something? Um Melanie Griffith Maybe. Something like that.

[01:05:49]>> them. Meg Ryan Apparently, he's absolutely lovely. Oh.

[01:05:54]He's an improv guy.

[01:05:55]There you go. Yeah.

[01:05:57]>> I could teach him a thing or two, probably.

[01:05:58]>> [laughter] >> I'm surprised you haven't got a call.

[01:06:03]Yeah. Probably while I've been here.

[01:06:05]Yeah. Is he coming to your thing tonight?

[01:06:08]>> Well, I hope I I hope so. I mean, you know, >> [snorts] >> it's an open invite.

[01:06:13]>> [laughter] >> So, I apologize. Anyone can >> Then I'll come then.

[01:06:17]>> Uh you guys can't. Yeah, I'll come.

[01:06:19]>> said it was an open invite.

[01:06:20]>> Yeah, yeah, yeah, but for celebrities.

[01:06:22]Yeah, I'm the king of improv.

[01:06:24]>> I Yeah, yeah, I know, but this is for people >> I'm improv royalty.

[01:06:27]>> And I'm the king of comedy. Yeah. Yeah.

[01:06:30]All right. Well, guess what?

[01:06:32]You still can't come either of you.

[01:06:34]>> [laughter] >> Threatened. Yeah, insecure.

[01:06:37]>> This is a tight group of >> Defensive. of funny small celebrities.

[01:06:41]Yeah. So, yeah, okay.

[01:06:42]>> Little little man.

[01:06:44]>> [laughter] >> He's a small man.

[01:06:46]>> Yeah. Small big man. Yeah, yeah. That's fine. Because when they fire the guns, they will miss me cuz I'll be too small.

[01:06:53]Cuz of your micro penis.

[01:06:54]>> Yeah, exactly. I think you've got a weird belly button, too. Yeah, I heard it's an outie. It's not it's an innie.

[01:07:00]It's an innie. The rumor's not true.

[01:07:02]>> got a lot of fluffy hair down there.

[01:07:03]true. I heard it's a pyramid or innie.

[01:07:05]>> Yeah, yeah. Okay.

[01:07:06]>> [laughter] >> All right, its shape is it is, you know, adjacent to what the ancient Egyptians built, but that's >> [laughter]