Sommore: Don’t Ever Put a Black Man on the Can’t-Read List

Added: 2026-05-12

[00:00:00]And listen, when you tell your children about our history, do not leave out the highlights. Oh yeah, cuz black people, we got some [ __ ] highlights.

[00:00:09]Like when Will Smith slapped the [ __ ] out of Chris Rock live on TV.

[00:00:15]He slapped the [ __ ] out of Chris Rock.

[00:00:17]He slapped him so hard, he knocked the fire stick out of my TV. I was like, "Oh [ __ ] hold Shit."

[00:00:24]And you can't leave out the infamous Katt Williams Shannon Sharpe Club Shay Shay interview. Come on now.

[00:00:32]Listen, say what you want. Katt Williams Shannon Sharpe Club Shay Shay interview shook up the stand-up comedy world.

[00:00:39]Listen, Katt Williams did a 3-hour interview on Shannon Sharpe. Shannon Sharpe only asked that [ __ ] one question.

[00:00:46]"How you doing?"

[00:00:48]And he went the [ __ ] [laughter] off.

[00:00:50]He went the [ __ ] off. And it was a sniper situation. I say a sniper situation cuz in the shootout, more than one person has a gun. In the shootout, you shoot, I shoot. You shoot, I shoot.

[00:01:01]But in the sniper situation, only one [ __ ] got a gun. And Katt Williams was picking [ __ ] off.

[00:01:08]You didn't know who was going to be next. First person out the gate was Steve Harvey.

[00:01:13]Ah.

[00:01:14]Katt Williams told the whole world that Steve Harvey had on a hair piece. POW, SHOT THE WIG OFF THAT [ __ ] He flipped around and said he's going to punch Cedric the Entertainer in his big fat belly. POW, SHOT THE BELLY button off that [ __ ] Katt Williams told the whole world that Ludacris was in the Illuminati and sucked dick to GET IN THAT. POW, shot the lips off that [ __ ] Boom.

[00:01:37]He was airing that [ __ ] out. He talked about Tiffany Haddish, Kevin Hart, you name it. He was tearing their asses out the frame.

[00:01:46]And all the people he talked [ __ ] about, the one person I really felt bad for was the comedian Earthquake.

[00:01:53]Ah.

[00:01:53]Cuz Katt Williams told the whole world that Earthquake couldn't read.

[00:01:58]That's some cold-blooded [ __ ] You put a black man on the can't read list. Come on now. Especially coming from our era.

[00:02:05]Cuz first of all, we all vowed that we would be better than our ancestors. So [ __ ] we know how to read. But that's some cold-blooded [ __ ] For you to put a black man on the can't read list. I don't know how white people handle [ __ ] But as a black person, when a [ __ ] say you can't read, you got to prove to black people that you can read.

[00:02:24]And everywhere you go, soon as you hit the door, you got TO START READING. SOON AS YOU WALK IN THE barber shop, you stop. You be like, "Refreshments.

[00:02:32]Potato chips, 35 cents. Corn chips, 45 cents. Pretzels, 35 cents." You got to read. Get in there and show [ __ ] you can read.

[00:02:42]And I'm saying this, listen, cuz it happened to a friend of mine.

[00:02:45]>> [clears throat] >> Friend of mine ended up going to going to jail. Now, I'm not sure why he went to jail. But some kind of way, he [ __ ] around and got on the can't read list.

[00:02:55]He was more upset about being on the can't read list than being in jail. But he could not wait to come home to prove to everybody that he could read. The day he was getting out of jail, his sister called everybody. She was like, "Yo, my brother coming home this evening. Won't we meet up at the restaurant and surprise him?" So we showed up with a cake, balloons, a banner, and and surprised him, right? He walked in the room, everybody said surprise, giving them hugs, they was crying and [ __ ] It was really emotional. But he wanted to prove to everybody that he could read.

[00:03:22]So he ran over to the table. He picked up the menu. He was like, "I'MMA ORDER FOR EVERYBODY. I'MMA ORDER FOR EVERYBODY." I said, "Ooh, this going to be expensive." But he didn't give a [ __ ] He was determined to prove to us he could read. He was like, "Let me get six orders of chicken quesadillas." I said, "Now this [ __ ] jumped out the gate with quesadillas.

[00:03:44]Quesadillas are tricky [ __ ] okay? Cuz first of all, it don't look the way it sound. So [ __ ] you jazzy to [ __ ] with quesadillas, all right?"

[00:03:53]He was like, "Let me get some calamari, some strawberry daiquiris. Let me get some escargot. Give me some jambalaya."

[00:03:59]Everybody was like, "Ooh." ONLY THING ABOUT IT, [ __ ] WE WAS AT PIZZA HUT.

[00:04:05]Weren't none of that [ __ ] on the menu.

[00:04:08]I grabbed the menu from that [ __ ] I told the waiter to bring us five pepperoni pizzas to get started.

[00:04:13]And bring this [ __ ] coloring book so he can have something to do.

[00:04:18]You done sat up in jail and memorized the menu from the wrong goddamn restaurant. Goddamn jambalaya at Pizza Hut.

[00:04:26]But Shannon was rolling for a minute.

[00:04:27]Shannon Sharpe had this [ __ ] on lock for a minute. All till he [ __ ] around.

[00:04:32][ __ ] around and caught a little sex scandal.

[00:04:35]This culture right here ain't nothing but scandals. I'm telling y'all, this culture right here, these [ __ ] will sign a NDA and write a book with the same [ __ ] ink pen. But I like a little sex scandal. I like when people have little sex scandals. Cuz when [ __ ] have sex scandals, you find out what they really like.

[00:04:52]People look one way on the outside. But when you find out all the freaky little [ __ ] they really like.

[00:04:59]And I like to play a little game. Most people look for the person picture and be like, "Oh, this what he did." Mhm. I like to keep the picture for last. I like to read all the little kinky [ __ ] then go back and look at the picture.

[00:05:11]Read all the little [ __ ] they did, then go back and turn the page and be like, >> [groaning] >> This mister like to sniff the bicycle seats at the gym when ain't nobody looking.

[00:05:25]Turn the page and be like, This the [ __ ] that be pressing the boxes up against the zucchinis in the produce section when ain't nobody looking.

[00:05:35]I like to read all the all the little details. And I could tell a little bit about the victim. Like in the Shannon Sharpe situation, I was able to tell early that it was a young girl that he was messing with. I could tell she was young. I I could tell she was a young girl. Here's the reason why I could tell she was a young girl. Cuz when she was like when they was describing the [ __ ] she was saying, [ __ ] like, "Ooh, I want you to give me a baby. I want you to give me one of them big black babies." I was like, "Yeah, this a young girl."

[00:06:00]There ain't no grown woman like myself begging no 56-year-old man for no goddamn baby.

[00:06:06]Cuz we already know what kind of baby a 56-year-old man going to give you.

[00:06:12][ __ ] on the spectrum, that [ __ ] going to lick the fence. They going to lick the fence. Now you seeing them kids that lick the goddamn fence?

[00:06:20]I just told my Junior, "YOU WANTED A BIKE RIDE, THEN GODDAMN BIKE. YOU OUT HERE licking the fence. Stop licking the goddamn fence."

[00:06:28]Ain't nothing wrong WITH JUNIOR.

[00:06:29]JUNIOR'S DADDY just old, that's all. He a old nut baby. Come on now.

[00:06:34]You done seen old nut babies.

[00:06:37]When the young girl [ __ ] around and have a baby by the sugar daddy. She name him Brandon.

[00:06:43]Everybody be like, "I don't know why the [ __ ] she named that baby Brandon. He look just like Mr. James."

[00:06:50]Brandon walk around here with the my daddy old face. This [ __ ] got a receding hairline back here. Dressed like a insurance man in the house vacuuming and [ __ ] You'll be begging that [ __ ] to go outside. "Go outside, Brandon." Brandon's daddy old.

[00:07:06]All the other kids want to go to Chuck E. Cheese for their birthday. Brandon want to go fishing.

[00:07:12]That's a old nut baby. Come on now, you seen old nut babies.