What's the difference between “他对我说” and “他给我说”？

[00:00:00]Hi everyone, welcome back to my channel Red. Today we're answering a question that many of my students have asked me.

[00:00:06]What's the difference between and in English? Both mean he said to me. So why does Chinese have two ways to say it? Are they totally interchangeable or is there a hidden trap? I'll give you a hint. If you say instead of you will sound like a robot who just learned Chinese from a bad app. So let's fix that today. By the end of this video, you will know exactly when to use and when to use gay and you will never mix them up again. Before we dive in, if you enjoy this lesson and want to support me making more videos like this, I'd really appreciate a coffee on coffee. The link is in the description.

[00:00:51]Every little bit helps me keep creating.

[00:00:54]Okay, now let's get into it.

[00:01:04]Let's start with the basics. Do is a preposition that marks the direction or target of an action. When you say you're simply pointing out that the action of speaking is aimed at me. It's like saying he spoke in my direction.

[00:01:21]Gay originally means to give. When you say it carries a sense of delivering information to me as if he's handing over the words, it's more about the transfer of the message. So the rule is d focuses on the target or person you are speaking to. Gay focuses on the message being passed to that person. But wait, does that mean they are always interchangeable? Not quite. Let me show you.

[00:01:54]In many everyday situations, especially in spoken mandering, you can use either one without changing the basic meaning.

[00:02:01]For example, and both mean he taught me something. In casual conversation, native speakers often use G because it sounds more colloquial and friendly. But here's a catch. This web only works when the verb is or basic verbs of saying. If you use other verbs like complain or promise, you cannot replace D with G.

[00:02:41]Now let's look at some verbs that always take and never get. Example one, shouting correct sentence.

[00:02:52]He shouted to me wrong. The wrongness.

[00:02:58]This sounds like he gave me a shout. Not natural. Example two. Complaining.

[00:03:07]Right. He complained to the boss about the salary ronsonance doesn't work with example three smelling he smiled at meance award you don't give a smile to someone example four making a suggestion Right. He made a suggestion to the boss.

[00:03:44]Wrong one.

[00:03:48]Note, you may hear this in very casual speech, but it is not standard with in proper mandaring. Example five, winking.

[00:04:03]Correct. He whipped at me. Wrong one.

[00:04:09]Note also common in in form talk but grammatically incorrect.

[00:04:15]Takes not.

[00:04:18]So the rule is if the verb is not just say or tell but involves an emotional expression, attitude or physical action directed at someone, always use. And if you ever hear someone use gay with this verbs, just know it's casual slam, not something you should copy as a learner.

[00:04:42]There's another notice. In some context, G can imply for me or on my behalf. For example, here G doesn't just mean to me. It also carries a slight request. Tell me for my benefit. what kind of person he is. It feels more like give me in for but with is neutral.

[00:05:12]Just tell me about him. No extra tone.

[00:05:15]So gay often sounds more casual, sometimes even a bit demanding or familiar. Di is safer and more neutral.

[00:05:27]Here's a cheat sheet. Use with number one the verb is not or you can use smell like that. Number two you want to sound neutral formal or standard. Number three you are talking about direction or target of any speech related action. Now use g when number one the verb is and sometimes in very casual speech. Number two, you're in a casual spoken conversation.

[00:06:00]Number three, you want to emphasize the transfer of information, not just the direction. So, please remember, do it is your safe choice 90% of the time. Gay is optional and only works with say or tell verbs in informal settings. And if you are ever unsure, just use three. You'll never be wrong. So next time you say he said to me, think about what kind of verb you're using. If it's just tell me, you can choose either, but know the tone. If it's anything else, stick with three. Okay, thanks for watching. And if this cleared things up, please give it a like and subscribe. And if you really enjoyed it, don't forget my coffee link in the description. Every coffee helps me make more lessons like this. Thanks for watching and I'll see you in the next one.