Why Children May Align With the Abusive Parent

Added: 2026-05-23

[00:00:00]They want to have more times on their phone, more time video gaming. They want those experiences of freedom.

[00:00:08]Every child pursues that, virtually every child.

[00:00:12]And the abusers capitalize on this. The predatory parent is going to capitalize on a child's desire to have more freedom.

[00:00:21]And so, sometimes these kids align out of selfish needs. We'll call it selfish.

[00:00:25]It's not because they're anything like the abuser, it's because they're kids.

[00:00:31]It's because that is the expectation.

[00:00:33]They're going to push boundaries, and if somebody's going to give them more freedom, they're going to go there.

[00:00:39]They're going to want that. Most kids, not all kids.

[00:00:43]If your kid is doing this, it doesn't mean they're bad. It just means they're more typical. It just means that they're doing what a lot of their friends might do in the same situation.

[00:00:53]The difference is they have a predatory parent who knows this and lures the children in.

[00:01:00]So, what can you do about it?

[00:01:02]It's something I will definitely discuss in my next YouTube, but I want more than anything for you to understand from this particular episode. It's not estrangement when I don't have a choice.

[00:01:12]It's abuse. I wrote an article for Psychology Today, When Estrangement Masks Abuse, because it can mask abuse.