Pop the Balloon Isn't Entertainment — It's Public Humiliation With a Soundtrack

Added: 2026-06-02

[00:00:00]I think I want someone um sort of like, you know, same race. Um a a black woman.

[00:00:07]>> I'm black. Don't do that.

[00:00:09]>> I'm fully black.

[00:00:11]>> Apologies. Um the dark skin. I'm a light-skinned guy, so I like light-kinned people.

[00:00:16]>> A lot of girls with long hair be having no hair just because it's long. It's thin.

[00:00:21]>> Sounds triggered. Um >> it's not triggered. I'm just >> First of all, I didn't say that the hairstyle she had was not good. Every week, millions of people watch strangers get rejected on a dating show. And it's not just any dating show. It's pop the balloon. And so I wonder, is it helpful?

[00:00:39]Is it harmful? How does it feel to watch someone be rejected because their skin color, how tall they are? Really basing matches off of physical appearance. Now, I'm obsessed with Pop the Balloon. It's my favorite pastime. It really is my guilty pleasure. But as a therapist, watching some of these dynamics, I kind of wonder, is it helpful to the community? Or is it harmful? When you watch people get rejected because of their size, because of their color, their weight, because off of physical appearance, what does it make you think about yourself? Does the show make you believe you deserve love, or does it crush your confidence just like the railroad dating scene? I'm Denise Brady, your favorite therapist therapist.

[00:01:25]Divorce is trauma. Divorce is grief.

[00:01:31]It feels like we're in the era of digital black. The psychology of FOMO, the psychology of you need this. We are human. Okay, we're human beings. We got to dig a little bit deeper as a therapist because people don't talk enough and it's time to get into some deep things.

[00:01:47]Now, if you are new here, I'm Denise Brady. I'm a licensed marriage and family therapist and I love relationship shows. So, of course, I'm going to watch Pop the Balloon weekly. I even watch the ketchups. And even when I don't remember the ketchups, I go back to the original episode like, "Oh, okay. That was Keith.

[00:02:04]That was so and so." And lately, I've been kind of wondering, has the show turned into a place just for clout chasers? Are people really on there for love? Is it just to put my name out there, shout out my business over and over again? And as our let tries to talk to you about something, you look into the camera and you shout out your turkey wing business. You shout out everything that you're doing that has nothing really to do with the show or love and relationships. Now, we all know Pop the Balloon is a viral hit here in the US.

[00:02:36]Since December 2023, the videos have been going viral. They even had a show on Netflix that was very much gentrified and watered down. And we're not going to talk about Ivonne either because it was terrible. Now, when it comes to this show, the monetization, everything around it, it's great to see a black business thrive, a couple trying to help other people find love, but is everyone on that show on there for the right reasons? And what is the representation that the show is giving the black community? Several couples have gone on this show and went on to get married, get engaged. We've even seen different reunions, but lately as I'm watching the catchups, I'm seeing more and more people who never made it past the date.

[00:03:23]More and more people who never made it past we got a match. We got a match.

[00:03:31]And what happens afterwards? They go to dinner. They meet up with other people from the cast who were also staying there for six to eight hours. And you know what? I match with you on the show, but that one over there, I think I like him better. So, you you you go over there and pay the bill, and I'mma give this one my time and attention. It shows you also that people are self-centered, and they really don't care about the person that they match with. They might not even care about the person that's entertaining them. They care about what the comments say. They care about the clout. They care about rising my social media influence, just like everything else. On the surface, it's raw. It's real. It's funny. But as a therapist, I see something deeper, in the contestants, sometimes in the host that reflect a lot of things in ourselves. Now, I have to ask, is it helpful or is it harmful?

[00:04:25]When it comes to the dating scene, we see direct communication, good thing and a bad thing. We see visibility of black relationships. We don't really see that anywhere else on TV, on reality shows.

[00:04:38]Oftentimes when we see black love, it comes with toxicity on reality shows and TV. But are we seeing the same toxicity perpetuated on the stage with these contestants between men, between women?

[00:04:53]And is there a real true lack of diversity? Cuz every time we have someone come on there who doesn't look atypical black, okay, it's like, "Oh yeah, I wanted somebody black." And they're like, "I am black. I might be biracial, but I am black. No, you you kind of giving Serena Carpenter.

[00:05:14]And I saw that episode and she kind of was giving Sabrina Carpenter. Okay. The show really sparks communication about standards, compatibility, goals, relationship dynamics, and patriarchy.

[00:05:28]We can't forget about that. Now, I know Arlette and BM promote intentional dating, but we've seen the people walk out looking like they didn't clean their shoes. Would you really wear that on the date? And also, most recently, I'm seeing more people just come on the show like, "You will wear that on the date?"

[00:05:45]What happened to the dress code? Do you not even care because you really came here just for fame? Now, there's a whole case against the show, conversations, dialogue that is not helpful. People are not really finding love. It shows that dating sucks.

[00:06:02]It shows that relationship dynamics can't go past physical appearance. We see misogyny. We see colorism. We see body shaming, the enforcement of harmful beauty standards and normalizing microaggressions. Now, a lot of times when we think of microaggressions, we think about them happening at work. But what about on the dating scene? What about between contestants? What about when one the suitor is talking to the way the way he talks to women or the way a woman is talking to the man standing up there the different men and you know what else we see men trying to humble the women. Oh, you got a cracked toenail. Oh, you didn't polish your feet. The wig is not doing it for me.

[00:06:46]Oh, I really turn I tend to like a girl who has more of a, you know, she goes to the gym.

[00:06:54]You know, you just aren't my type. And then we see Arlette.

[00:06:58]What do you mean not your type? You know, she just not my type. What's your type? You know, um, she's just not my type. She's overweight. She's too dark skinned. The wig is wigging. And then it could be subtle things like, "Oh, her skirt was a little bit too tight. your your baby toe. The way your baby toe hanging out the side of that shoe let me tell me everything I need to know. And then you have the women also because I'm have to get on y'all too. I just don't like men with locks yet you have locks.

[00:07:36]You know your elbows was kind of ashy when you walked out. Your voice kind of squeaked a little bit. Finding the littlest things to pop pop pop. And how many people have have we seen get popped on before they even say a word? It's like, "Oh, let me just fast forward because you ain't going nowhere." And then Orlette has him walk all the way down to see why everybody popped. It's like, is this a humiliation ritual? The shame of it all.

[00:08:07]Like, y'all just popped on me based off of my looks. Not nothing I said, not where I worked, but just y'all wasn't feeling the fit. There is a difference between honest communication and public humiliation.

[00:08:20]When rejection becomes entertainment, we desensitize ourselves to other people's pain. We start performing rather than genuinely caring about someone's feelings. And that sometimes is what I see on Pop the Balloon. No genuiness, not being authentic. I'm just here to perform and get my 15 minutes of fame.

[00:08:42]in reality has popped the balloon become another reality TV show just for YouTube. And then we see the colorism of it all. Now, we're going to go a little bit deeper with this one. One of the show's most infamous moments we have scenes where a black woman, a dark-skinned woman, popped her own balloon, not because she wasn't interested in the guy, but she assumed that he wouldn't be interested in her.

[00:09:06]And I've seen this so many times where the women just pop their own balloons because of the trauma that they have been through in other relationships, other dating situationships that you know what, he probably not feeling me.

[00:09:19]You know what? It seemed like he was feeling her down there, the light-skinned girl with the bus down.

[00:09:24]So, I decided to pop my own balloon. And both at times are let and the suitor is kind of like, you give me a chance to talk to you. Sometimes I see these women coming in with their own trauma, their own dynamics of no one's going to want me because such and such. He's not going to want me because of this and that because I've heard it before. I felt it before. So, I don't want to be in a place where I get rejected. So, I'm going to reject myself. And as a therapist, I'm just like, "Wow, you are on a TV show displaying that you don't have self-worth, confidence, and self-esteem. Not because you don't want it, but be because you've been through so much trauma in the past that now this new person coming into your life has no chance and opportunity because of the other things you have been through in your own life. And that's how trauma sets the stage here on Pop the Balloon.

[00:10:16]Social media really does play a big role in this. I watch the shows, but then I go to the comments and there's a lot of hateful comments. And I know a lot of the people who go on this show have these parties with their families, they friend when their episode is going to premiere. And I wonder when they look at those comments, how does it make them feel? Some of them are kind of funny.

[00:10:37]I'm not going to cap. They are kind of funny comments, but at the same time, it just pours more into damn, like what was I thinking? What was I thinking? And then we see on another episode when he said she reminded him of Sabrina Carpenter. Now, let's talk about that because there's a lot of layers here.

[00:10:57]Now, the girl was very fair skin. She had a blonde wig. She was very quiet and he made some assumptions about her. And once again, we go back to colorism and how these men say at times they want a fully black woman. What does that really mean? And I wonder what have what has this gentleman been taught about a fully black woman? Now, let me know in the comments if you saw that episode. And now she immediately pushed back and said, "I'm black. Don't do that. Not too much. Not too much." That moment went viral and sparked so many conversations about colorism and racial authenticity and how appearance functions as a marker of belonging in the black community.

[00:11:42]Now, because she had on that blonde wig, because she was fair skinned, do you guys feel like she would be accepted into the black community? What were your thoughts when you saw him say, "Y'all know?" And then I saw in the comments of that video, the comments also were saying the same thing. And I I I probably got a comment over there in that section, too, that she did remind me of Sabrina Carpenter. But it's also goes back to the colorism piece. Some people want that very fair skinned light woman while other men want the more darker skinned woman. You see so many I think aspects of the black diaspora on this show and how the more I feel like at times maybe biracial or multi-racial you are. I don't see those women getting as much attention as you probably would think that they would. I feel like internalized colorism is a trauma response. When a dark-skinned woman pops her own balloon, that to me is showing up generations of trauma that's already inside of her. That's years of messaging from media, from music, and sometimes her own community. Throughout the '9s, early 2000s, magazines celebrated women who looked like what? Fair skinned while dark-kinned women got dismissed. I still think that that legacy of colorism where lighterkinned women are more accepted and darker skinned women are dismissed and they have backhanded compliments.

[00:13:12]You do you are kind of cute for a dark-kinned girl. How many people of y'all in the comments have heard that one before? For dark-kinned viewers, how does this make you feel? Is it a reflection of what you already experienced in the dating world? Does it make you want to watch more? Does it make you kind of want to Oh, that's me right there. I've been that woman. Is it validating? Is it ret-raumatizing?

[00:13:37]Does a guilty pleasure of a show that become that's supposed to be fun become kind of oh a light on your subconscious?

[00:13:46]Now, we also see the role of patriarchy.

[00:13:49]I want a woman who's God-fearing. I want a woman that when I come home, it's going to be dinner on the table. Sound familiar? I noticed that when men are the suitors, immediately physical appearance is what captivates them. And you often see pop pop pop. Where sometimes the women are like, "Okay, might not be feeling him, but let me hear what he got to say. I want to give him the benefit of the doubt. I want to hear more about what he had to say.

[00:14:18]That's why I didn't pop." Whereas the men is a whole different story. When men pop the balloon, it's the clothing. It's the nail polish. It's so many physical things, surface level things that it's like, "Oh, damn. I I was working. I couldn't get my feet polished." Where you will see some men say, "Girl, that little chip toenail, we can go get that fixed. So, where you live at? How long is it going to take me to get to you?

[00:14:43]You want to go out for drinks after this? I don't got no more questions cuz I'mma ask you at dinner tonight." But I see the same thing from women. As much as men focus on patriarchy and focus on physical appearance, so do the women.

[00:14:57]Maybe just not as obvious, maybe just not as immediate, but we do see it happening. Going deeper into patriarchy, I'm also seeing the humbling of a woman.

[00:15:08]I got to humble her. I got to let her know that I'm up here and she going to remain down there. It's a reoccurring pattern that we see on dating shows when it comes to black women. It's framed as men saying, "I'm just trying to keep it real." But really, it's a humbling opportunity for men to lower women and put them right down there. Patriarchy teaches men that dominance is attractive. Popping the balloon dramatically in front of the audience to get laughs at the expense of humiliating a woman. What does healthy rejection look like? We've seen it at times on this show. Rejecting someone with dignity versus rejecting someone as a sport. What does this mean for our outer worlds and how we're dating and how we show up in relationships, on social media, in real life on these dating apps? Cuz yeah, now they have a dating app. Lover Pop. Lover Pop. Lover Pop.

[00:16:09]Don't y'all hear it every time? Lover Pop. Lover Pop. Now, I want people to think about as they're watching Pop the Balloon, what comes up for you? Do you feel as though we're seeing less couples match on the show and less people actually make it past the show when we see the catchups? Has it become a place that people just feel like, I'm just here to not find love, find followers, find social media notoriety to promote my business? Has the essence of the show been lost? Are you just somebody who watches the show for fun? Not really to learn, not really to really think about the deep dives of each couple or relationship, not to see yourself, but maybe just to check out a reality. As a therapist, I watch the show because I love relationships. And sometimes at the end of the day, I deal with so much trauma, depression, anxiety from my clients that sometimes I need something to have my brain melt to. It's interesting to watch the dynamics of women pop their own balloon. how people still put themselves in such a box when it comes to dating. Oh, you live in California. I live in Texas. I can't do that that long distance when most of the people on the show don't live in the same city or state that you live in. So then I'm really confused. But I often tell people that if you continue to put yourself in a box, I'm only willing to date somebody who lives 30 minutes away. The person that might love you, desire you, be obsessed, crawl up in your skin, as y'all like to say, might live four hours away. They might be in another country. But if you continue to put yourself in this box, it really does limit your dating capacity and how you can match with somebody. I want you guys to notice what comes up for you as you're watching the show.

[00:17:59]What are you feeling? Is it a breath of fresh air or is it a reminder of the things that you go through every day?

[00:18:05]Audit your own standards. What are your standards for dating? Or are they too much? Are they right where they need to be or are they unrealistic expectations?

[00:18:16]And I also want to mention that young people are also watching this and they're growing up and they're looking at the conditioning. All this their minds are sponges. This how they see dating. This is how they see relationships. even if they're in high school and younger, the next generation is learning how to treat men and women and how men and women treat each other.

[00:18:37]That's something that we don't think about and we forget. Now, if you're considering going on the show or have you been on the show, let me know in the comments. When you think about going on the show, are you ready for public rejection? Are you ready to be humiliated? Or maybe you're just ready for love. In closing, Pop the Balloon really does hold a mirror to society in modern dating. What we see is some people's reality. What we also see is some people's dreams. Buying their person, matching, getting pregnant, and having a baby. That's what some people desire. And we've seen that happen on Pop the Balloon.

[00:19:14]Colorism, patriarchy, humiliation.

[00:19:18]These things are not invented. These things were not invented by this show.

[00:19:22]But the show does broadcast them to millions of people. The real work is in what we do with what we see on this show. If a dark-kinned woman popping her own balloon does something for you, good. Let it break. Now ask yourself, what are you going to do about it? If you like this video, subscribe to the channel. Hit the like button. Hype me up. Let me know your thoughts on Pop the Balloon. Are you a fan? Did you fall in love with it?

[00:19:50]And when did you first start watching Pop the Balloon? I'm Denise Bray. I'm a licensed family therapist and I will for sure see you guys in the comments. Bye.

[00:20:01]I'm Denise Brady, your favorite therapist therapist.

[00:20:06]Divorce is trauma. Divorce is grief.

[00:20:12]It feels like we're in the era of digital black. The psychology of FOMO, the psychology of you need this. We are human, okay? We're human beings. We got to dig a little bit deeper as a therapist because people don't talk enough and it's time to get into something deep.