Kay Dudley: The Reality of Motherhood

Added: 2026-05-14

[00:00:00]It took me 6 years to get diagnosed. I did all of the initial labs. Every single one of them came back fine. So, I was able to get diagnosed, which was incredible. And I was so thankful. Like, I remember crying cuz I was happy that I got diagnosed because I knew like I didn't want to be diagnosed, but I wanted validation. You can have one really good breastfeeding journey and then you can have not a good breastfeeding journey. And you just have to do what is mentally best for you.

[00:00:23]That is a hill I will die on. By the way, I've made the decision to breastfeed. But that's my decision. That doesn't mean that any other mom that's going to do it a different way is wrong.

[00:00:31]A fed baby is best in my opinion. A mentally sane mom is so much better than a mom who is just mentally like struggling every single day. I struggled with school. I didn't graduate. I've never really talked about that. I had a doctor I'll never forget. He called me and he was like, "I don't think this is going to come as a surprise to you, but it's very obvious you have ADHD." I feel like my childhood was robbed in a way.

[00:00:53]Tay and I had like a controversy a few years ago and I think in that moment I felt like that was it. And like it would never get better. I told myself I wasn't going to cry.

[00:01:22]Hello, Lemon Drops. Welcome back to another episode of The Squeeze. I am so happy that you are here with us today.

[00:01:29]And I'm so excited about today's episode because I'm sitting down with Kay Dudley. If you don't know who she is, she is the other half behind the viral couple of Kay and Tay. There's a lot of Tay's in this episode, just warning you.

[00:01:43]But Kay and her husband have a massively popular lifestyle and family account with millions of followers across Tik Tok and Instagram. She's known for their relatable humor, heartfelt content, and Kay has built a strong connection with her audience by sharing the realities of marriage and motherhood. From pregnancy journeys to raising their daughters and navigating life as growing family. More recently, she's been opening up about this new chapter of life she is in, including welcoming their newest baby and adjusting to life with two under two. Today we dive into things all mom postpartum and Kay actually recently has been dealing with some health issues that led to a hospitalization.

[00:02:23]Everything is fine but we dive into that and what it's like to have to advocate for yourself when you know something is wrong with your body but doctors just aren't listening to you. We cover so many topics. K is so darling and I feel like I learned so much about her and just the strength that she exudes is truly unmatched and I can't wait for you guys to hear. Fun. Okay, welcome to the squeeze.

[00:02:47]>> Thank you. I'm so excited.

[00:02:48]>> This is really fun because I'm about to like ask you so many mom questions.

[00:02:53]You're going to be like, "Oh my gosh, why did I sign up for this?"

[00:02:56]>> No, I love it. I love to give my my mom knowledge to everyone that wants it.

[00:03:00]>> So good. Um, okay. Okay. So, we start each episode off with this jar. It's a little game called Citrus Got Real. If you want to pull a little piece of paper out of there um and read it to our lemon drops, those are our listeners.

[00:03:15]>> Okay. It says, "What's a hill you will absolutely die on?"

[00:03:19]>> Oh, goodness. Oh.

[00:03:22]>> Oh, I know mine.

[00:03:24]>> All the things. I'm thinking of all the things. You might have to give me a minute. A hill that I will absolutely die on. M >> I'll tell you mine and then >> Yeah, you tell me yours. Maybe >> I'll get the thoughts flying. Um pineapple on pizza.

[00:03:36]>> Oh, that's a good one. No, I'll die on that hill, too. That 100%. I don't know why people don't like that.

[00:03:41]>> It's kind of like sweet and salty. It just goes together.

[00:03:44]>> Yeah.

[00:03:44]>> I mean, I would say SPF over makeup >> every day. Like I mean, obviously I did my makeup today, but so that's not a good example, but um SPF like it's the one thing I would take with me on an stranded island. Yeah.

[00:03:57]>> So important. No, that's I think One Size I think I just got it in PR. One size just came out with like a setting spray that has SPF in it.

[00:04:05]>> Oh. Oh, I need that.

[00:04:07]>> Yeah, >> I I really need that.

[00:04:08]>> I know. Cuz that's something I struggle with cuz my mom's an aesthetician and she's always like you need like you need sunscreen, >> but it's hard when you like want to do your makeup and then sometimes I'll put it on underneath and then it just like my makeup will feel weird or I just feel like my skin like my pores get clogged when I do that.

[00:04:25]>> Yeah, I do my makeup like very seldomly.

[00:04:27]Um, and most of the time it's like SPF and like my moisturizer and that's it.

[00:04:32]And I just I feel like my skin's never been better since I started doing that.

[00:04:35]So, >> yeah. Um, >> I was gonna say your skin like literally looks so smooth. I'm like serious.

[00:04:40]>> Yours is glowing as well, by the way.

[00:04:42]It's so good.

[00:04:42]>> Oh, that's nice. That's nice.

[00:04:44]>> No, it is. And this is going to be like the time where you're glowing. So, >> yeah. I'm I'm I feel like I'm kind of waiting for that to happen, honestly, because I am still just breaking out so much. Okay. No, it does not look bad >> thanks to the makeup. But um no, my first trimester I was like breaking out face in my scalp like even like on my chest and on my back which I never >> I never normally break out like ever.

[00:05:10]>> And so that's that was definitely um an adjustment for me. But >> it humbles you.

[00:05:16]>> Yeah, >> that was me with my last pregnancy.

[00:05:18]Well, not like my last but my last last um with Ellie. I had never had cystic acne in my life and I started breaking out so bad like I mean and it hurts your confidence like you're already going through all these changes but then like to be on camera every day too. I was like I don't want to show my face to anyone.

[00:05:35]>> Um so yeah I get that.

[00:05:37]>> That's so true. Were I've actually been thinking about this. What were what similar or differences did you have in your two pregnancies?

[00:05:46]>> That's a good question. So with um well I've had three pregnancies total. Um, with my first I it was like nothing.

[00:05:53]Like I was 19. So um, in a lot of ways this like my second pregnancy was new again. It was so different than the first. It was 12 years difference. Um, but with my first I had like no nausea, no acne, nothing. Like I if you told me I was like you wouldn't be able to tell I was pregnant other than my bump. Like I had no symptoms and everyone was like that's the exception. Like that's not really how it is for most people.

[00:06:17]>> So I just knew going into my next ones it was going to be like a piece of cake.

[00:06:20]And that was the furthest thing from the truth. My second pregnancy humbled me.

[00:06:24]It I had the acne. I had horrible nausea. Um and I don't know why they call it morning sickness cuz I was sick like all day.

[00:06:32]>> Yeah.

[00:06:32]>> Um and then with my last pregnancy, it was a little better than with Ellie. The acne was better, but I did start using my glow serum, which um is something it has like ox it's oxygen infused. It has uh vitamin C and AHA blend. So it helps a lot and it's pregnancy safe.

[00:06:49]>> Yeah. So, I was using that. Um, but I would say that's the only real difference other than it was a different pregnancy. Um, and I really didn't have any nausea either with that pregnancy.

[00:06:57]So, it every pregnancy is so different and even if it's the same person, the same dad, um, it doesn't even matter gender cuz I had all girls and like they were all so different.

[00:07:08]>> Yeah.

[00:07:08]>> Um, so you really can't be sure from one to the next if it's going to be the same or not.

[00:07:13]>> Yeah. No, I've been I've been thinking about it a lot cuz I mean my pregnancy has been fine. in my first trimester obviously was not fun, but now being in the second, I'm like able to be alive and functioning to some degree. But yesterday, I was like just having a meltdown and I was like, I don't think I like being pregnant, which like, you know, sounds horrible to say, but like I'm not enjoying the >> I'm not really enjoying all of the >> I mean, you're >> things that come along with it.

[00:07:41]>> I feel like that's such a valid like feeling. So many people feel that way and they don't want to express that because you know people struggle to get pregnant. You have people that can never get pregnant and you don't want to offend those people by saying like you're not happy and you're I mean you're happy but you're miserable. Um but that's something like you're entitled to feel that. You know it's it sucks the life out of you. It's hard.

[00:08:02]It's very hard to be pregnant and you know that's like this is not to like scare you but this is just the beginning. Like you're pregnant but then you have postpartum. Um, and I mean you have like the version of you before a baby and then you have the version after. And for me that happened at 19.

[00:08:17]And I never really got to enjoy my 20s where like I didn't have stretch marks or you know just a lot of things that none of my friends had to deal with yet.

[00:08:26]And I mean that was my fault and you know I'm not blaming anybody but it >> it's just something that >> as I've gotten older I've gotten more appreciative of my body changes but it is hard to kind of wrap your mind around that. Um but you're allowed to feel you're allowed to feel that and it doesn't mean that you're not happy to be pregnant and you're not happy and excited >> for sure.

[00:08:46]>> But you don't have to like it, you know.

[00:08:48]>> Yeah. Yeah. You know, I think I've I think I've dealt with I've never really struggled with comparison, but I've definitely found myself comparing like my pregnant body to other pregnant women, especially like the women that are like weeks away from giving birth and are still like all skinny and fit and I'm like in my husband's jeans right now and it's like I'm like, yeah, >> just not having a grand old. It's the first time I've really like had that >> struggle before, which I think might also be a thing. But >> I think it's I'm already like not feeling great about myself. And then the comparison aspect of it is um >> and social media is like that. Like with my first pregnancy, I didn't have that.

[00:09:28]And I often like wondered like why did I feel totally like I didn't feel mentally like >> afterwards was when I did cuz of the stretch marks. They came literally in the last four weeks. Um so that was unfortunate. I I almost made it. Um, but I didn't have anything to compare it to.

[00:09:44]Like, nobody was showing their belly like exposed back then.

[00:09:48]>> Um, it wasn't >> very normal to like wear like belly shirts and your belly hanging out, which I mean, I'm all about embracing it.

[00:09:55]Like, I mean, I even did with my last two pregnancies a little bit more than I did with my first, but, you know, I didn't have anything to compare to. So, I was like, this is normal. But then you start seeing these like fitness gurus that are like, you know, doing squats in these like they're just like doing all the things and they have like the tiniest frame and their bellies just little bitty tiny cute bump and I'm massive when I'm pregnant and I'm very like small framed already. I'm short and so my torso is not very big.

[00:10:22]>> Yeah, there's nowhere I was literally just having this conversation with my girlfriend yesterday. We were like, there's nowhere for any of the baby, the body fat, anything to go >> out. And so, you typically will feel a lot larger. And that's like something just being on social media, I had to start like blocking out those comments cuz people would be like, "Are you sure she's only 12 weeks? She looks a lot more like 25 weeks." Or, you know, just comments like that. And it it starts to get to you cuz you're like, "Not any one body is the same with pregnancy.

[00:10:50]Everybody cares differently." Um, if it's your second or third, you're definitely going to show quicker, but yeah, social media makes it a lot harder on yourself.

[00:10:58]>> What is what is your relationship with social media? Cuz obviously your work is social media. You're very active on there. Always sharing >> parts of your life. How how have you kind of learned? How long have you been doing it actually?

[00:11:12]>> Um, like >> like as a job?

[00:11:15]>> As a job. So, we started the beginning of 2022, but I didn't go full-time until the end of 2022. So, it was almost 2023, so very like relatively new.

[00:11:24]>> Um, it kind of like >> I say blew up, but I feel like some people have like a blowup moment and it's like a twoe thing and then they go from like nothing to like millions.

[00:11:33]That's not how it was for us, but it definitely like over the first year we hit a million at one year. Um, like literally to the day it was crazy. Um, >> if you hear baby noises in here, >> that's my baby. Um, she's self soothing, by the way. That's what she does when she's trying to go back to sleep.

[00:11:51]>> Um, but anyway, so when I went full-time, it was kind of a gradual like I don't know progression. And yeah, it's only been like three or four years, but my relationship with social media is I don't I don't really consume a lot of social media if I'm being honest. like >> I don't follow I mean I follow people but I'm not really like closely monitoring anyone like in particular. Um I kind of just scroll like I don't even really get I haven't got on Tik Tok.

[00:12:20]>> This is going to sound crazy but I have not actually opened my Tik Tok app in >> over a year probably. Um Taylor posts everything and um Tik Tok is one of >> Taylor's husband is named Taylor just so um >> that is a little confusing. So my like Taylor my Taylor Yes. Um, >> just for our listeners that weren't aware of that, >> there's a lot of TAs and Taylor's going to be thrown around here. Um, but my Taylor, he does all like social media posting and it just got to like a few years ago I was struggling mentally like reading comments and I'm not a posting ghost person. I have to read all the comments and >> it mentally start like it starts getting to you when you have way too much feedback coming. Like no one single person should be seeing that much about >> people's opinions about themselves or how they're parenting or how they're living their lives or whatever. And a lot of people have really mean nasty opinions about people. And so I just got to a point where I was like I can't get on that app anymore. It it to me seemed more toxic thing to Instagram.

[00:13:22]>> Feel like with Instagram >> it's more of a community. I feel like I've Tay and I both have created a really good community on there.

[00:13:30]>> Yeah.

[00:13:30]>> And I can get on there a little bit easier than I can Tik Tok, but I haven't been on there over a year probably.

[00:13:36]>> No, that's >> Yeah, it's crazy.

[00:13:38]>> That's really good.

[00:13:39]>> I've thought about deleting the app to be honest cuz I mean I don't really have a reason to be on there.

[00:13:42]>> Yeah, >> cuz Tay posts it. So, >> yeah. No, that's that's really good. And I feel like too when I'm posting more on like when I'm cuz I'm in no way I don't consider myself a content creator cuz I have no I'm not >> that's like that's a job title that I do not own because I'm not posting multiple times a day. Like I'm not there's no consistency anywhere in anything. But when I am trying to be more consistent with posting I find myself not on the apps as much because it is more like >> work. So, I'm not really like I'll pop on to like, you know, respond to a couple comments and do whatever >> tricks that people say you're supposed to do for the engagement that I'll like go off.

[00:14:23]>> Yeah.

[00:14:23]>> So, I feel like that's a good spot to >> Yeah.

[00:14:27]>> to be in how and that's probably helped a lot with Were you seeing the comments more so like in the beginning?

[00:14:33]>> Um >> or before you stopped looking >> the comments? Yeah, in the beginning it was I mean nobody really knew who we were in the beginning. So the comments were a little bit more harsh because they were just like they had no idea what our story was or anything. And then as we built a community, they got a little better, but with Tik Tok, >> the people there are just a little more brutal. And so I would see all those comments like especially as we started getting larger and getting more views.

[00:14:59]Um, and yeah, it was just it was really hard to get on. People make like the talking head videos is what I call them.

[00:15:05]And so they'll like take something that you like said, whether it's on a podcast or in a real that you posted or, you know, a story or whatever, and they'll clip it and then they'll post it and put a little talking head and it's like critiquing whatever you said. And I just didn't want to like run into those kind of videos. So I just was like, I'm just going to shut it out. And, you know, >> it's a it's a job like you said. It's it's job. It it helps me provide for my family and that's that's really what I have to like mentally tell myself.

[00:15:33]>> Yeah. No, that's that's such a good relationship to have with it. I need to put you guys on something I've genuinely been loving lately because I feel like I've finally found the balance between wanting something fun to drink, but also wanting it to feel simple and not overly complicated. I feel like so many drinks now are either super sugary, packed with ingredients you don't recognize, or they just taste super artificial. And then on the other side, some sparkling waters barely taste like anything at all. like it's just bubbles and someone whispered the name of fruit in the other room. But Spin Drift is actually different because it's the only sparkling water in America made with real squeezed fruit. And you can genuinely taste the difference immediately. There are so many good flavors, but I have really been loving the raspberry lime lately. And I also really love the blood orange, the tangerine, the lime, but the raspberry lime actually tastes like real raspberries and lime, not fake flavoring. And the blood orange tangerine is so refreshing in the middle of the day when I want something cold and bubbly but don't want coffee or a soda or anything heavy. And I love that every Spin Drift sparkling water is proudly made the hard way from farm to can. It all starts with really good ingredients sourced from farms around the world. And everything is handled with care throughout the process. So every sip is flavorful, lightly carbonated, and delicious. Our listeners get 15% off their next order of Spin Drift. Visit drinkspendrift.com and use code Tay at checkout for 15% off your sitewide purchase. One use per customer.

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[00:20:27]You can just turn it on and start. Right now, Tonal is offering our listeners $200 off your Tonal purchase with promo code squeeze. That's tonal.com and use promo code squeeze for $200 off your purchase. That's tonal.com promo code squeeze for $200 off. when you and since becoming parents, you and Taylor, how do you feel like your um relationship has evolved? And do you have any advice um for myself and my marriage and for anyone listening that's maybe a new parent?

[00:20:58]>> Yes. Um, I would say it's actually something I don't want to say like struggled, but it was definitely an awakening for Taye and I to um have our first together because we were together like almost 8 years um before we got pregnant. So, we had a lot of time where it was like like we didn't have like an infant. And once we did, you almost get like this without even trying, you almost get like this roommate feeling where you're both just like in deep in the parenting. And in order to get out of that, we really had to prioritize time together like in the evenings.

[00:21:39]And I feel like this is very normal for most couples, but you kind of unintentionally get into this like roommate stage where you just feel like you're just deep in the weeds of parenting and you're not sleeping. Um, I wasn't really doing a whole lot to like not that I let myself go, but I mean I was just like I was breastfeeding and I had milk stains and I was pumping all the time and I was, you know, still looked pregnant.

[00:22:03]>> So it's we really had to like prioritize our evenings together. Um, so once we put the girls down, even in the very beginning when Sutton was still like not on a schedule, um, we would like put her down next to us and we would like have a movie night and we really try to do that multiple times a week and I think that helps a lot. Um, we don't personally like go out to dinner a lot, but I I feel like that is something like prioritizing a date night. Um, even if even if that is at home, like just as long as you're prioritizing time between you two, at the end of the day, like your kids will have a better life if their parents are like having if they have a strong relationship. Like you want to be able to model that relationship for your children.

[00:22:42]>> And um yeah, because that's more important than, you know, put not that your kids shouldn't come first, but your kids really, in my opinion, should not come before your marriage. Like you have to balance it. You know, you can't let your marriage go.

[00:22:56]>> Yeah. No, I've been trying to um we've been trying to do like date nights and things or like if if something happens and we're like, "Oh, a date brunch like Taylor or I got a nail in the tire and Taylor took my Taylor." Um, >> we're used to multiple Taylor over here, so I think our drops will get it. Um, he I got a nail in the tire and he went to go like fix it for me, but then I had to go pick him up cuz they were changing it. And then we ended up I was hungry so we ended up like getting tacos at this restaurant next door and we're like, "Oh, date." Like we're like trying to kind of like romanticize all of our Yes.

[00:23:30]like little moments together.

[00:23:32]>> That's literally our like slogan is romanticizing all of life's moments.

[00:23:37]Whether that's like going furniture shopping or um just literally anything, we try to just romanticize every aspect of it. And that's such a good way to put it is like even if it's just a nail in the tire and you have to like go get it fixed or something, make it a date. Like make it fun.

[00:23:52]>> Yeah. How what does like support look like for the two of you? And how how do you ask or have that line of communication with your partner when you're needing more support? Cuz I feel like a lot of women >> haven't maybe had those conversations yet with their spouses about needing that support. because a lot of especially if you're breastfeeding a lot of the >> job falls on the mom. How would you like what would your advice be to on that?

[00:24:24]>> I mean, you definitely can't hold in your feelings. I feel like with Taylor, I'm I'm really I've I've learned to be very open and just like honest with him when I'm feeling anyway. Um like after I had Ellie, I was not expecting like I said with Kinsley with my first I didn't really have like postpartum depression or um baby blues, nothing. like I just I mean I wasn't obviously that marriage ended but in terms of like the pregnancy emotions and mental health I was pretty good. Um but with Taylor I wasn't expecting to have like such significant sadness afterwards. Like >> it it hit me like out of nowhere. I would just cry for nothing. Like literally nothing. And I had to learn to just tell him like this is how I'm feeling. I need your support. I need you to help me. And I will say I am very lucky that I have somebody who takes on the parenting. Like he doesn't babysit.

[00:25:24]He's 100% in. And I think that's like that's such a big thing. And I feel like like you said, a lot of women don't have that. But I feel like if they're not experiencing that with their husband, they've just got to like tell them. They have to tell them like, "Hey, this I'm overwhelmed." Because moms do get overwhelmed. You're breastfeeding.

[00:25:40]You're going through body changes. And you just have to be open to communication.

[00:25:46]>> Yeah.

[00:25:46]>> Yeah. Did you did you breastfeed with both with both >> or I guess all of your pregnancies? Y >> um Okay. I'm trying to figure out like what what I want to do. I think because everyone I don't know why it is such a common question like >> and it's such a controversial one too.

[00:26:03]Yeah. Like so many people have very strong opinions about it.

[00:26:06]>> Yeah.

[00:26:06]>> Um >> I just I just read an article um I think her name is Elsie. Um it's Pete Davidson's wife. Um >> Oh, okay. Yeah.

[00:26:16]>> Or partner, baby mama. I'm not sure where they're at in their marital journey. U but she wrote an article that my friend sent me about her decision to not breastfeed. It actually was like a really >> it just kind of like opened my eyes to um just like have it. It was really nice to just read someone talking about it because the truth is there's also like I have friends that you know did formula with their first and then breastfed the second or >> vice versa. I also have friends that her first one breastfed and then the second one was allergic to her breast milk so she had to do form like there was just like so many >> random things. So, I think I'm trying to go into it with like both. Like, >> what if, you know, what if my baby doesn't want to watch? What if, like, there's just so many like >> there's so many variables. And like you said, like one, you can have one really good um like breastfeeding journey and then you can have not a good breastfeeding journey. And you just have to do what is mentally best for you. And like that is a a hill I will die on by the way, which that I could not think of that earlier, but that is that's so Like to my core, I feel like obviously I've made the decision to breastfeed, but that's my decision. That doesn't mean that any other mom that's going to do it a different way is wrong.

[00:27:32]>> A fed baby is a is best in my opinion, but and like like even this this journey with Sutton, I >> I have lupus. I can't take my lupus medication when I'm breastfeeding. So, I mentally went into it this time knowing that if I had to stop, I would stop and I'm not going to like >> torture myself because I have like this goal, which is what I did the last time with Ellie. I had this goal and I was like miserable and I felt terrible all all postpartum. And I I think you just have to do what's best for you because a mentally >> um a mentally sane mom is so much better than a mom who is just they can't do it anymore. you know, you're just mentally like struggling every single day. Like that's not good for your baby. So, >> I think you have to like just tune out all of the opinions. Like, you're going to see so many opinions, not just on breastfeeding, like everything you do, whether you get the epidural, like you're going to get so much unsolicited advice. It's not even funny. I'm sure you already have. Um, and it's just like you just got to do you. Do you don't worry about anybody else. Like, you know what your baby needs, you know what you need, you know what your husband needs.

[00:28:38]>> Yeah.

[00:28:38]>> Um, and I think that's like priority number one. Yeah, that's so true. Um, what has your experience been? You've kind of talked about like postpartum and did you struggle with postpartum depression with your any of your pregnancies?

[00:28:50]>> Yes. Um, so my last pregnancy, I feel like I got through it a lot quicker. I even I was just telling Tay the other day um I kind of thought that I had gotten through it this time like you know a few months in but I've even the last like few month like and it could be because I've been so sick but I feel like the last month or two like I don't know if it's like a relapse or what but I have felt like just so sad like I'll just cry for no reason. Um and I've heard that it can like happen like that like you can just have like days where you feel great mentally and then you can just not feel good again. Um, that's been honestly the hardest part of postpartum for me is just like crying about every single thing and >> literally not like I don't even have to have a reason to cry. I can just literally feel hopeless.

[00:29:35]>> Yeah.

[00:29:35]>> It's so weird because you'll just cry and like >> Kay will be like, "What's wrong?" And I'm like, "I don't know." Like I have no I I I don't even know how to fix it because I don't even know what's wrong with me. I'm just sad for no reason.

[00:29:47]>> That's that's very challenging. That's the hardest part for me. Like I feel like guys when when women cry are just like what do I do? Like how do I fix this? And it's such a it's it's like biologic for like good men to want to fix the problem.

[00:30:01]>> And that's something that Taye like I think it would get to him when like my Tay um it would get to him whenever I would be crying and he would like not know how to fix it and he wanted to fix it so bad and it took a while for him to realize like there's nothing he can do to fix it. He just has to be there for me. Um, that's like the biggest thing is just making sure that for like other women too, like don't let your husband like feel like they need to fix it and don't expect them to fix it because they're not going to. Like you're just going to feel this way 2 hours later or the next day. Um, just holding you, saying whatever you need to vent, vent.

[00:30:37]Like just like a vent sesh, like >> yeah, >> you know, that helps a lot. I'll just vent about like a million things. And he's like, okay. And he just like listens. It's just get getting to that point in your relationship where you just it's an open door and you can just vent and listen to each other. I think that's been really really helpful for us.

[00:30:53]>> Yeah. I've been trying to practice that more before the baby comes. I want to talk about your lupus. You touched on it a little bit. Um that's something that I've been learning more about because um during all of the pregnancy and my testing, I had my autoimmune marker come back positive. Thankfully, my cells are just speckled, which means that I only have like a 5% chance of getting lupus, but um >> that's still there.

[00:31:21]>> Yeah. Uh but it was something that I literally had no clue about. So, and that that I feel like a lot of there are a lot of celebrities that have lupus and I've heard of it, but I never really have thought of it deeply until >> going through that. Um how when were you diagnosed with lupus?

[00:31:38]>> January of 2025.

[00:31:41]Oh wow.

[00:31:41]>> It took me six years to get diagnosed.

[00:31:44]It's been a long journey. Like one of the hardest journeys I've ever been through, but um there was just something about being validated like I knew for years.

[00:31:54]>> So my mom has lupus which is another reason I kept pushing and advocating for myself because I so she got diagnosed in her 30s. She had symptoms for years but she didn't get diagnosed until I was like late teens. Um, and I saw what that what she went through. And I also I mean when I say like carbon copy, my mom and I are like when it comes to our bodies and like health were like the same like like on a checkbook like literally the same.

[00:32:21]>> Um, so she was able to like see my symptoms very early on. I mean it was so mild that most people including myself probably would have just like brushed it off. Um, I would have like random little like body aches and then, you know, kind of where you feel like you're about to get the flu or something and then it wouldn't happen for like two weeks. So, I just didn't really like take it seriously at first. And she was like, "No, that's like you need to at least be checked." Like, I'm not saying you have lupus. There's so many symptoms with autoimmune that overlap. Yeah. Which is another reason it takes so long to get diagnosed. But she was like, "I just think you need to at least like get a referral, see a rheatologist." And I did all of the initial labs. Every single one of them came back fine. Like they were like, "You don't have anything wrong. You don't have autoimmune condition. You have nothing." There was one marker actually. It was um my inflammation markers were elevated, but they were like that, you know, it could be that you're getting sick. It could be um they kind of suspected maybe rheumatoid arthritis, but like serum negative rheumatoid arthritis.

[00:33:20]>> Um and then they said like fibromyalgia, you know, I feel like a lot of people get diagnosed with that first because they can't find anything that's wrong.

[00:33:26]So, in the very beginning, I just like kind of I don't know, not that I was gaslit, but I was kind of just told like, "You're fine." Um, and that was very struggle. Like, as it started getting worse, it it was a struggle to get doctors to listen to me. Um, and then slowly but surely, my symptoms, cuz I mean, this is the way it is for most people, I think, that are diagnosed, their symptoms usually happen first, but their labs don't ever match that until it gets like more severe. M >> so um that was what happened with me and I advocated because I knew my mom had the same symptoms and I was like listen my mom has it I'm like I have like five five times I'm think I think it's like if it's a direct parent it's like five times more likely >> um for like their child to have it.

[00:34:10]>> Yeah. Um, so I just kept advocating for myself and I one one time I switched doctors because I moved out of state and then I saw two different rheatologists in Texas once I moved to Texas and my most recent one she's been incredible like 3 years ago I started seeing her and she saw my labs like getting worse and she saw my symptoms and she started piecing the puzzle together and she basically called it lupus before I got the official diagnosis because I and quite meet the criteria. Um, so she started treating me with um, hydroxycloricquin and that actually can make your labs like not show up. And so after I had Ellie, I had still been taking my hydroxycloricquin, but I was still having symptoms, but I think it was considered mild enough that my labs like were still not really showing anything.

[00:35:03]So she had me come off of it. It has like a 50-day halfife, so you have to wait like >> Yeah. over two months or so before you would probably get laps showing up. Um and then she retested everything and it all came back like >> oh wow >> lupus like she was like I think you were masking it just enough with the medication.

[00:35:21]>> Um and then also being postpartum I think it brought out the lupus worse. So I was able to get diagnosed. Um, which was incredible and I was so thankful.

[00:35:30]Like I I remember crying because I was happy that I got diagnosed because I knew like I didn't want to be diagnosed but I wanted validation. I wanted to be treated. I wanted to be able to tell you know doctors or what you know whoever would need to know like hey this is I wanted a name for it and I didn't have a name up to that point. It was just like I think I have I mean I have something autoimmune but I don't know what. And that was so beyond frustrating because when people ask like well what's wrong with you and you tell them you don't feel good? They're just like, "Well, you don't have anything." Like, like, you know what I mean? Like, it just doesn't it just gives like so much validation when you have like a title for it, an actual name. People take it more seriously. So, that was very exciting to finally get that.

[00:36:10]>> But, I would say since I got the diagnosis, like things didn't get better. Like, I thought they were going to get better, but they didn't get better. I I in fact, my health got worse. Um, I got pregnant again, so I still couldn't be on medication. I'm breastfeeding. Still can't be on medication. Um, and I think I just thought it was going to like, you know, be a light switch and like, oh, everything's good. And in some ways it is, but I feel like now I get more um, skepticism online.

[00:36:35]>> Yeah. People >> that don't like me are like, oh, she's probably just lying about it. And I'm like, guys, like, I could show you my my chart. Like, it it has the diagnosis code in there. Like, >> not lying about it. Um, and that's hard.

[00:36:46]So that's another reason I don't look at comments because, you know, I'm just trying to advocate for people who struggled for years like I did because you start to feel crazy. You start to feel like a hypochondric and then >> you get that validation and like I just want to be like a voice for other people who are in that same position cuz they may not have a mom that like has it that can help push them along. I was blessed to have that. But yeah, I just want to keep pushing, you know, like be a voice for lupus. I've been getting more into lubus.org so I could um you know help with fundraisers and I'm actually speaking on Saturday at a conference in Dallas. My first public speaking thing.

[00:37:24]I'm very nervous. Um >> Oh my gosh. No.

[00:37:27]>> No. We get like millions of views, but it's not the same as getting on a stage and talking >> for sure >> in a microphone. Um, so I'm very nervous about that, but I'm excited cuz I'm I feel like >> if I'm going to look at having this like in one way, it's >> I was obvious I was given lupus so that I could be the voice for other people because I feel like not enough people talk about it. There's no like >> nobody like so many people don't understand what it is. Like the amount of people >> I didn't even realize it, but now being on social media, the amount of people that comment and DM us every day and they're like, "What's lupus? I have no idea what that is." And I just feel like more people need to talk about it.

[00:38:02]>> Yeah, that's so true. Especially I feel like really this whole pregnancy has really opened my eyes to a lot of women's health. Obviously, I've a woman and I feel like being a woman woman and trying to seek medical advice sometimes can be so hard because our bodies go through so much stuff, but also because >> there's so little testing that's has been done in the past and we're just now starting to finally like have women in trial groups for medications and like just like crazy things that I just assumed was like a normal saying, but >> it's not.

[00:38:43]>> It's not. It's not. And like, it's funny you say that because I was recently diagnosed as an adult with ADHD.

[00:38:49]>> And this is another reason that I blink, by the way. I'm not trying to like use excuses, but I'm like I sometimes will be talking and then flatline. I don't know what I'm saying. Um, but I knew something was like up like for especially postpartum. It's like it got worse after I had my babies, but working and like doing brand deals where I have to remember like a CTA, I'm like the amount of times Tay and I have to refilm something because I'm like how what's the percentage off again? Like I'll just one second he'll tell me it and the next second I forget it.

[00:39:18]>> So I finally decided I was going to get tested.

[00:39:21]>> And as a child >> I only knew boys that had it. I didn't know any girls that had it. And in fact like doctors would never even like look at girls and say, "Oh, there's a chance she has that." Like it was so rare to find doctors that would do that.

[00:39:33]And I just really thought like if I wasn't bouncing off the walls, there's no way I would have ADHD. Um, so my parents never looked into it. I mean, I saw a counselor growing up for reasons for other, you know, for separate reasons than ADHD obviously, but I saw a counselor. Never suspected it.

[00:39:50]>> Yeah.

[00:39:50]>> But I struggled like mentally and I mean I was I know that my mom would probably disagree, but I feel like I was a really bad kid in a lot of ways. And it sucks knowing I could have been helped for so many years. Like I just had to live like that and think I was just like different, you know? Like I >> I struggled with school. Um I didn't graduate, which is something I don't think I' I've never really talked about that, but um a lot of people I think I don't know the percentage exactly, but it's super common with people with ADHD to not finish school. Like get your I did get my GED, but >> to not finish college. I didn't finish college. I went to school, actually started going to nursing school. My mom was a nurse >> and I didn't finish. Um, and so I felt like I always would start things and then I would fail. Like I failed everything growing up. I failed >> so many things. And it wasn't until I started like doing this as a job that I was trying to like remember things and I couldn't remember them that I finally decided to get tested. And I'll never forget, this has only been a couple months ago, so I mean I haven't forgotten yet, but I will never forget.

[00:40:57]He called me and he was like, "I don't think this is going to come to a as a surprise to you, but it's very obvious you have ADHD." I was like, "Okay, cool." So, that was like again validating cuz then it was like I had an answer for all the things, but it sucks that they didn't look at girls.

[00:41:14]>> Yeah.

[00:41:14]>> Because I had I I feel like my childhood was robbed in a way because I didn't get looked at like I just I don't know. It sucks.

[00:41:22]>> Yeah. No, I think the average age, I could be wrong, so don't quote me on this, but I think the average age that women get diagnosed with ADHD is like around 40. Like it's some like crazy sad. One of my friends is she's um she's a therapist and she specializes in ADHD.

[00:41:36]She has ADHD herself and we had her on the podcast like >> probably season one, but she literally was telling me these stats and I was like, >> it's just it's so crazy.

[00:41:48]>> It's crazy. Like when I started sharing about it, this is this is another reason it's so annoying to me, but I would I was sharing about the testing process and like that I thought I had it and I had never talked about it. So I think people were like, "Why is she trying to jump on this trend of having ADHD?" I'm like, "Guys, you don't understand what this >> has done to my entire life. Like there's so much more that I don't share on social media." Um, but once I got tested and I shared it, um, people were like, "This is just a trend." Like, "Everybody's getting diagnosed with AD."

[00:42:21]I Everybody has a little ADHD. Like, that's not true. I hate when people say that.

[00:42:25]>> Um, everybody has symptoms of ADHD sometimes, like maybe your your brain is a little like clustered or whatever, but like >> they they would say like, "Oh, well that's just being a mom for you." And I'm like, "No, it's not. I wasn't a mom in school. I wasn't a mom when I was a kid. Um, so that's frustrating. I think that's happening because people are not like women there's like an increase of women getting diagnosed in adulthood now. Like it's suddenly getting like people think it's being overdiagnosed. I think it was underdiagnosed and now people are finally >> acknowledging it and so people that don't have it are just like >> yeah sure like you know what I mean?

[00:43:00]like it.

[00:43:01]>> Yeah.

[00:43:01]>> So, it does suck. And again, it's like I feel like women just get so like they get gas lit when it comes to medical stuff and you just have to keep advocating for yourself cuz >> yeah, >> there's a lot of crappy doctors out there.

[00:43:12]>> I had a doctor when I was um trying to find out if I had lupus and I went to her and I was like, I it hurts when I breathe in in the mornings. Like specifically in the mornings, I wake up and I try to breathe in and my chest is like it's like shark pain. Mhm.

[00:43:26]>> And she was like, I mean, if I could help you or if I could, she said, if I could help you, I would help my grandson. He has asthma take your inhaler. I mean, it was like literally cuz I do have asthma. I was like, this isn't asthma, though. It was She just completely blew me off. She's like, "If I could help you, I would help my grandson who has asthma, but like there's nothing you can do." I was like, "This isn't asthma." Like, I left that office crying. I was And I never went back to her again, obviously. But it's just like doctors like that exist and it sucks because they don't listen, especially if you're a woman. Yeah, I need to talk to you about something I feel like is way more relatable than people admit, and it's losing or ruining sunglasses constantly. I swear I used to buy expensive sunglasses thinking that meant somehow I would magically become a person who keeps better track of them.

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[00:48:47]That's why it's so important too for people with platforms to share about this stuff. So, I'm so thankful that you're like willing and like >> willing to be open and honest and share about this stuff because it is really important. And I feel like I've learned a lot about myself and I know a lot of my friends have learned about themselves just from people sharing >> on the internet. Like I've done I did like a solo episode just me talking about like first trimester stuff and how I was feeling and I have actually never received so many messages even still and it was like over a month ago just from women being like I've never heard someone like talk about it like this before and it's it's just really important that we do that and I feel like lucky that um kind of like you said like you like having the mindset of like you for given lupus to like you know >> have this platform and to talk about it and to share about it and that's such >> um that's such an amazing >> mindset.

[00:49:48]>> Thank you >> to have so I'm proud of you for having that. Um what advice would you give women or men people out there listening that are feeling similar to how you have felt multiple times in the past stuck trying to advocate for themselves but not being heard. I would say don't give up because you know your body better than a doctor who spends 20 minutes with you um who's late to the appointment. Like you you're showing up on time, you're living with yourself every day and they walk in after making you wait 30 minutes and they're like, "Oh, you're fine." Like they're never going to know. Like they're looking at labs. They're a good doctor will look at labs and they'll then they'll look at your symptoms and piece it together. But a lot of doctors don't do that, unfortunately. And so you know yourself better than anyone else does. You're your biggest fan. You're your biggest advocate and you just have to don't don't give up on yourself. Like you know and if you know then keep pushing. Yeah.

[00:50:44]>> You know see a different doctor if you have to. If they're blowing you off like do go to a different doctor. Like what's stopping you know?

[00:50:51]>> Yeah that's so good. Yeah that's great.

[00:50:55]I love all that. um still being in postpartum. I'm curious um if there are any um parts of yourself that you're rediscovering or maybe protecting more now as mom, as Kay, as a woman. Is there anything that after, you know, having your baby 6 months ago, you're relearning about yourself? Or maybe since your diagnosis, like maybe you're going into how you approach life a little differently, like protecting a little part of yourself differently.

[00:51:30]>> Yeah. I think before um I didn't put myself I I didn't care about myself enough. um everything like my children are my world and they're obviously like the top of my my world in my life but like I said earlier like they have to have a mentally stable mom and I think I especially going through this second pregnancy I've really tried to prioritize like my mental health making sure that I'm a good parent for them at the end of the day everything I do is for them um but also like just caring about myself like there's this trend going around that's like getting my pink back. I don't know if you've seen that, but I think so many moms, we just >> we we put so much into our children that we forget that we're also living this life for the first time and this is the only life we get. Like I think about that all the time with my parents. I'm like, they did their best and they're still doing their best. They're living this year of of life for the first time.

[00:52:31]And you know, you never get these years back. like you really have to soak all of it in and just like think about yourself too. I guess I guess that's like my biggest thing is also caring about myself more.

[00:52:43]>> Yeah, I love that. Um last little I'm obsessed with these baby sounds that are coming out.

[00:52:49]>> She's literally going crazy on >> No, I'm literally I doubt that like I doubt that the mic is picking it up, but >> she's found her voice so she likes to scream.

[00:52:57]>> I'm obsessed with it. So it's literally my favorite thing. I'm loving it. It's good. It's good practice for me hearing the baby sounds and getting used to it.

[00:53:05]Um, >> last little thing I want to talk about um is your brand that you recently launched. Um, can you tell our lemon drops a little bit about it?

[00:53:14]>> Yes. So, I recently launched the brand Hey New, which is Hey Nutrition. Um, we started with protein bars. So, we with hopes to expand into other like nutrition like we're also looking at doing um like a daily gummy. Those are like really in right now. People love the easy breezy like just like >> I love I love a chew, >> you know what I mean? Just like to be able to and it tastes good, you know?

[00:53:38]>> Um so that's kind of like without saying it, but we are kind of like working on that right now. Um but >> we just I really wanted something cuz having lupus like I'm not going to claim that I'm the best eater. Like I eat things in moderation that are not probably the best for me and I could do without. But I really struggled finding like a protein bar that was good for me and didn't make me feel like like bloated and um like flared. I feel like there's so like a lot so many protein bars taste like candy bars. Like they're not good for you. People think that because it says protein on it, it's good for you. That doesn't that's not true.

[00:54:18]>> Um but then it was like on the opposite there would be protein bars that were good for you but they tasted horrible.

[00:54:25]>> Yeah. Um, so that was kind of like what inspired this was that I really wanted something that tasted good but was healthy and I think it tastes good. Um, it's inspired by my protein bar recipe actually. So I would make protein balls because I didn't like like any protein bars on the market that were good for you. Um, and I would have so many people that were like, you know, I want your protein bar or ball recipe. So, I was like, "What if we just like like use this like recipe, this idea, and like make it into a bar?" Um, and that's kind of where that came from. But, um, I just I also felt like a lot of the bars on the market were so like they market towards people in the gym. They market towards like bodybuilders and people who are super super fit. And not everybody is like going to the gym every day and like trying to, you know, have >> we're not gains is life over here.

[00:55:18]>> Yeah. Like 0% body fat. Like a lot of people just need something in the middle of the day or when they're dropping their kids off at school and they forgot breakfast or um on the airplane, you know, kids. Like I wanted the bars to be soft enough but also you wouldn't feel guilty giving them to your kids.

[00:55:35]>> Yes.

[00:55:35]>> Um so my whole motto with with these bars is that they're inclusive to everybody. And in order to make them inclusive to everybody, we made them dairyfree, gluten-free, vegan. Um, they're free of the top nine allergens.

[00:55:48]Um, there's no sugar alcohols, uh, no stevia. A lot of people don't like stevia. I personally think it tastes gross. Um, yeah.

[00:55:55]>> And I feel like it also like upsets a lot of people's stomach. Um, and then, you know, just making it taste good but healthy. Um, so we had to make it inclusive to everybody.

[00:56:05]>> And I feel like we really accomplished that. I'm really excited. We're about to um drop our we so we've done one launch and it sold out in under 24 hours which we did not anticipate >> and we're going to double like our um we actually are doing another run in like a week and a half um or no a week from now. Um >> so when this is live there will be another >> there will be another uh launch. Um well the bars will be made. We're launching like a few days later. Yeah. But um this next one we doubled and we're gonna keep doubling as long as everything's doing good and we have some new flavors that we're about to bring out. Um but we did tweak this second launch like these the second batch is even better. So like the first one I felt like we pushed the vegan bar space to its max. Like if you're going to take if you're going to add sweetness like you have to take something else out. you have a 55 bar, you're going to have to like it's like playing Jenga. And it's very hard to make it like healthy and taste good without like you have to sacrifice somewhere >> for sure.

[00:57:08]>> And I didn't like that idea. I was like, I don't like sacrificing. And I did feel like there could be improvements with my first run. So the second time, so we went up to Utah the other day and we spent an entire day with our food scientist and I was just like testing like the proteins by themselves. We found out that our protein we originally were using, the uh specific pea protein, was like drying out our bars.

[00:57:32]>> And it was supposedly the best protein on the market, like pea protein. And I tried it next to the one that we ended up going with. And you could tell just visually looking at them that the protein we originally used, it was more expensive and it was better, but it wasn't. It was like soaking up all like you could just see it was like dry compared. So, we made like little tweaks. So, we ended up upping the fiber, um, lowering the sugar, but making it a little more sweet. So, I was like, I wish we would have done this with the first launch. But, it's kind of cool because we have like our whole community is on like we're bringing them on the journey with us. Um, you know, no brand is perfect the first time it runs.

[00:58:11]And I think listening to your community and seeing like what they felt about the bars, what they'd like to see, I think that's so important. So, that's kind of what we did. And I'm really excited. So, >> I love that. I need to try I need to try them because I've been on the protein journey, too. I feel like just especially being pregnant, I'm trying to like make sure I am getting enough protein and also I want to like have food that's filling that's good for me because I um consume so much food right now.

[00:58:39]>> That's okay. It's fuel. You need to be doing that for your baby.

[00:58:42]>> Yeah. No, I love that. Um okay, let's head into our last little segment. It's called Lemon Seven. Um, seven questions.

[00:58:49]You could rap a rapid fire them or if you have a story to tell, feel free to share. Um, number one is, what movie or song title best describes your mental health today?

[00:58:59]>> I think The Pursuit of Happiness.

[00:59:04]>> I love that. Um, because I feel like my life lately, um, there's been so many things that have made me feel like I want to give up and like it's not working out. My health is one of them. like my body's like, "Nope, like I'm not going to you're not going to feel good today." And I think I just have to um I just like tell myself like I just got to keep going. And I feel like that movie really like it kind of like gives that it's like he keeps you know trying despite all the challenges.

[00:59:36]>> So I feel like that's it's a good one.

[00:59:37]>> That's special. Uh number two is how open are you with people in your life when struggling?

[00:59:43]>> Um with Taylor I'm very open. Um, I've learned to be very open, like I said earlier, but with other people in my life, I don't tend to share as much. Um, especially online, I I I'm very private despite how much we share online, but like I just feel like people aren't going to get it a lot of times. And maybe I need to be more open with people, but >> I feel like my biggest supporter is Taye and he's he's my best friend. So, he knows me, he gets me, he knows when I'm upset.

[01:00:11]>> Um, so yeah, definitely with him I am.

[01:00:14]Number three is if you could follow three social media accounts, what would they be?

[01:00:19]>> Oh my goodness. See, I don't consume content a lot right now. Um, >> so I don't know like a specific like Instagram account.

[01:00:29]Um, but I think >> I would definitely want somebody who like makes me feel like I can keep going. So, somebody that helps me feel motivated, like a motivational type account. And then let me think somebody who makes me laugh cuz I think that's super important at the end of the day like you have to have like you have to laugh you have to enjoy you know like a good comedy show movie is always good you know so one that makes me laugh and then probably like a family member to stay in touch with my family.

[01:01:01]>> That's sweet. Uh number four is what is your favorite form of self-care?

[01:01:06]>> Skin care for sure.

[01:01:07]>> I need to try that oil you were talking about or whatever serum you do. You should try it. I have one here if you want it.

[01:01:13]>> Well, no. I'm not going to >> No, I have I have like a million at the house. I have one with me. It's just a It's my new So, I did like two sizes.

[01:01:20]Okay.

[01:01:20]>> Um and I just dropped my travels like travel size. It's to give people not the three-month commitment if they just want to try it. And it's like a month and a half commitment. Um but I have it. I just opened it yesterday.

[01:01:30]>> Okay. Well, if you're not going to use it, I might take it.

[01:01:32]>> No, you should.

[01:01:33]>> Um cuz I've been trying to find I've been trying to find skin care things that are also pregnancy safe that also agree with my skin. So that's been um really fun.

[01:01:41]>> It's a good one.

[01:01:42]>> Fun for me. Um number five is what is the most misunderstood thing about you?

[01:01:48]>> Probably that I feel fine because I'm doing a lot of things, but I don't actually feel fine. Just because I'm like showing up, it doesn't mean that I'm actually fine. Like I'm just pushing myself to the limit a lot of times. And I think that's that's definitely the one that I get most often is like, "Oh, she's fine on trips. Like she's fine to go do this." I'm like, guys, like I do it when I need to do it. Like that's why when I'm home I don't do anything. I'm on the couch. Like because I pushed myself for the last week and a half, you know? So for sure that >> I love that answer so much, especially because people are so quick to leave comments and things and have opinions on social media. And we also forget that it's important for us to do that, to push ourselves to do things cuz, you know, I'm >> very thankful that I have the type of personality where I am stubborn and I'm like, even if I'm not feeling good, I'm like, "No, I'm going to do this." Like, I know I'm just going to >> I'm not going to feel good, but I'm going to do it.

[01:02:46]>> And I'm so thankful because yes, like especially now being pregnant, my body I'm learning that I can't expect my body to do the same things that I would not pregnant. Um, >> but it's just I'm so thankful that I push myself. Like I've never I've never gone to an event and been upset that I did. And even though I'm like I don't want to have to drive. I don't want to get ready. I don't like what if there's no one I want to mingle with. Like I every single time and every time I get in the car and I'm like about to leave to go do something, I'm like, do I really want to do this? And then I come home and I'm like on the phone to t like there so and so is there and then this this this. Like, so I just have to remind myself that every time like I need to push myself to do it even if I'm not feeling good.

[01:03:25]>> Yep. I feel like it's a really good way to show your children too. Like like my girls are going to grow up and they're going to see like we don't just we don't give up.

[01:03:33]>> Number six is who has had the most positive impact on your mental health?

[01:03:38]>> My kids.

[01:03:40]>> My kids. Because at the end of the day, no matter how bad I feel um mentally or physically, they remind me who they remind me why I do it. They remind me what really matters, you know, at the end of the day. Like >> there my family matters the most. So >> sweet. Okay, last question. If you can go back to one moment in your life, what moment would that be and what would you say to yourself?

[01:04:06]So, this one's going to be a little like Oh, I'm not going to cry. Um, probably Tay and I had like a controversy a few years ago.

[01:04:20]And I think in that moment, I felt like that was it and like it would never get better. And I think I would just tell myself that at the end of the day like nobody knows us the way we know us. And nobody nobody will ever get it, you know, because they didn't live they don't live our life. And as long as we know the truth, that's all that matter matters.

[01:04:48]>> I told myself I wasn't going to cry. Um, but yeah, I would just say that like I I would tell myself that I got through it and that it gets better and that at the end of the day like I'm going to have so many people that support us at the end of the day. Like they don't care, you know? They support us. They know that people say things online. People do things online that are mean. people that know you do things that are mean to you because they don't like that you have anything going on that's good anymore.

[01:05:22]>> Um, so yeah, I think I would just tell myself to like stay strong and like not let it get to me because I was very mental like not that was probably the lowest point in my life was in that little era. Yeah.

[01:05:35]>> Well, I think I've learned so much about strength from you today and especially not even knowing that that was something that you've experienced and I have friends that have experienced probably had similar experiences too.

[01:05:51]It's very hard >> controversies and things online, but um I am just so proud of you for like showing up, for advocating for yourself, for showing your kids, like what strength looks like as a mom, >> especially because you have girls and like >> I think that that's just >> really special and you should be so proud of yourself for literally like everything and also like literally starting a brand like on top of everything that you have going on. Like the fact that you did that, too, is really awesome.

[01:06:24]>> It's my newest baby.

[01:06:25]>> So, >> I love that. Well, I hope you leave here like proud of yourself and like really just taking a moment to >> like take that in.

[01:06:33]>> Yeah. I'm glad cuz I was having the same moment the other day. I was like, I don't know if I can do any of this like the travel and just it's a lot when you don't feel good, but I'm glad. It's like you said, like now that I've done it, I'm so glad that I pushed myself to do this.

[01:06:46]>> Um, so yeah, thank you for having me. I just feel so honored.

[01:06:50]>> Oh my gosh.

[01:06:51]>> That I got to talk with you today.

[01:06:52]>> I love it. I'm not going to cry.

[01:06:54]>> Thanks for coming.