Key Competencies for an Emerging HR Leader

[00:00:02]Good evening ladies and gentlemen. Thank you so much for joining us for today's edition of HR mentorship learning series. My name is Olu Adosu and tonight we'll be looking at a very important and strategic topic key competencies for an emerging HR leader and our facilitator is Damala Ola. If you have listened to her on this platform, you know our sessions are known to miss. Do well to reach out to your colleagues associates to please jump on this call. I would like to read her profile very briefly.

[00:00:40]Damola is a senior people development leader with over 14 years experience across the public, private and not for-p profofit sectors. She brings expertise in leadership development, organizational effectiveness, employee engagement and strategic HR and she's a trusted advisor to senior leaders supporting them to translate strategy into impactful people outcomes. She began her career in HR at Standard Chartered Bank where she held a range of roles and coordinated the diversity and inclusion agenda for the West African cluster. She also served as secretary of Nigeria's diversity and inclusion forum.

[00:01:20]The forum was recognized for the standard charter bank group diversity and inclusion awards in 2016 and again in 2018 prior to transitioning into HR.

[00:01:31]She works in the consumer banking division of the group. Since relocating to the UK, she managed a team in the department for work and pensions, served at HRBP at Achet and is currently the pioneer HR manager at homeless offshore.

[00:01:47]She set up the HR function and operations for the organization. Daml currently serves as a trustee for Tony B all contributing to governance strategy and people oversight and is a member of the chanc of personal development tames valley committee which organizes and delivers learning events and insights for CIPD members. She initiated and delivered quarterly coffee and connection sessions for the committee to strengthen Asia relationship within the network. She holds a first class degree in political science and is a recipient of multiple awards including the Jack's Advent scholarship for commitment to public service. She writes and horns are French in her spare time and enjoys discussing world affairs, traveling, hosting family and friends. Ladies and gentlemen, please let's make welcome with all the emojis and emoticons we can must daba. He speaks to us on the topic key competencies for an emerging HR leader. You are welcome ma.

[00:02:49]>> Thank you very much Dr. Ad and thank you everyone. Um when I finish the presentation I shall see the emoticons but thank you for everyone that's joined us and for spending the next one or so with u with us. Um and I hope that we'll all find this session at the end very valuable. Dr. you're doing very great work you know with this platform and um thank you so much for having me back. Thank you. Um this evening we'll be discussing the key competencies for an imagine HR leader right but my work has been made quite easy. So basically what what I'd hope to cover would be for somebody who is looking to step into like an end of HR senior HR BP HR manager role whatever the title you know might be you know taking that step from you know mid management to you know being um senior management but as I just referenced my task has been made very easy because about two weeks ago one of our colleagues on this platform um Michael Luatayo took us through a session on the skills that a first- time HR manager needs. I don't know if anyone of us was in that session, but if we've not listened to that session, um I would I would consider that as a part one to what I'm doing this evening. So, I'd encourage us if you've not listened to that session to please go um on YouTube on Mr. Du on Dr. Du's channel rather. Um there lots of videos if you just type it in the search button u skills for a first the skills a first time HR manager needs you find it there. It's a very detailed session and it's basically covered half of what I was going to cover today. So uh thank you uh Michael for making my work easy. Um so just to recap before we if you've not watched or if we weren't part of that first session just to recap what are the skills from what he said and you know from my own experience what are the technical skills that an imagine HR leader needs uh before I go into that if we've got any questions in the course of the session please feel free to drop I can see the chats now thank you Dr. Please feel free to drop it in the chat or raise up your hand so that you know we can take that as we go. We don't have to wait for questions at the end. I I quite like um having an interactive session, right? Um so before we go into it fully, right, who is this for? Like I just said, uh it's for if for those of us that are looking to transition into senior management in our HR career, whatever the title might be, where we have more scope and responsibility for strategy, right? And when we're no longer or when the level of the the tactical work that we're doing is quite um reduced and we're more top level. And like you said my colleague Michaelata has covered most of technical skills that we need. But just to recap u from what he told us and from what is widely accepted to be a very good HR leader whether you called an HR manager or not u you need to develop business acumen or what is called commercial acumen. Very vital.

[00:06:06]You need to speak the language of whatever business it is you're supporting. You need to be familiar with numbers. Um um you need to not shy away from you know the the hand the hand data number crunchy stuff. You need to know it. You need to build your you know commercial and business acumen so that you can build your credibility. Second to that is evidence-based decision making. With this one I would like to add something uh that we can term data literacy. You know sometimes in HR we like to shy away from like the hard stuff numbers. we preferred stories, you know, this person said that, this person said that. Uh, but like my colleague mentioned in that last session too, it gets to a point when you want to do your employer advocacy. You can't come and say Dr. was the one that said we don't like this benefit or Dr. and Damola and Bola said this thing is not working well. You need to be able to present, you know, data and numbers to people. you need to be able to present evidence based decision making to senior leaders without naming people. So u when um you develop your data literacy skills right you're able to do that without naming names or causing you know unnecessary issues where you know other senior leaders feels this person this is the person that's pushing this you have the data and the numbers to back up whatever it is you're saying. So apart from even say benefits, it's things like sick days. Oh, we've noticed in this department we have 100 sick days. What's the trend? So it's not just enough say you have 100 sick days. 100 sick days.

[00:07:45]How many people are taking the sick days? Is it just two people? What are they going off sick with? Right. Oh, people are going off sick with say uh malaria. So is that something we need to be looking into? So building that evidence-based decision making skills is is quite important. Of course, there's the knowledge of your employment laws or your labor laws and the current best practices. There's talent management, ethics and governance. And one thing I'll just add to what they said before for us around this um ethics and governance is that for for us in HR, discretion is very very vital. Right? So if you're not a naturally discrete person that should be a technical skill, you should be looking to build. We hold a lot of things, you know, and um we need to continue to hold a lot of things. So, please build that if you don't have that. And lastly, employee experience. Again, not to sound like a broken record, please go and watch that session if you've not or if you did attend if you if you didn't attend that last session. Even if you did attend it, just as a refresher to what I'm covering today, please watch that session. So, um jumping right into what I want to focus on now today. having done that is the soft skills, right? Um one thing my colleague did mention at that session was um the the skills that got you the role and not what would keep you there, right? You as a leader, right? You need to um you need to work on your influencing skills and you need to work on your soft skills if you're going to want to be a successful um HR leader when you get in that position. And if you're still in the imagined phase where you know you're just preparing yourself um to get into that position um this is the best time to begin to build all those competencies as opposed to what I would call leading on the job when you've already probably gotten the role.

[00:09:39]So your different experiences now can begin to shape some of these soft competencies that you need to build. The first competence uh let me just check that there are no questions.

[00:09:52]No.

[00:09:54]Right. Uh let's go back to screen.

[00:09:59]Yeah.

[00:10:03]Uh can everyone see my can everyone see the presentation?

[00:10:09]So you could see me.

[00:10:22]Sir, if someone can see my presentation, just can you just let me know?

[00:10:26]>> Yes, we can.

[00:10:27]>> You can see the presentation. Ah, fantastic. Good.

[00:10:30]>> Good. Right. So, the first one I'd like to touch on is change management. Um, at the people are the center of many many changes in the workplace. Right. And the greatest challenge um that we'll find with change management is not the change itself but how it is managed and implemented. The process is what determines whether the organization that is the process of change management is what determines whether or not the organization achieves the goal of the change management or not. So as someone who is a people leader or an emerging people leader you need to learn how to anticipate right and prepare for the emotional responses that come with change. Uh a few of us might you know might have been involved in situations where oh we want to implement this process and you find out that that people are not people people will resist not because they don't like the process itself but people just don't like change. So as a very competent HR leader right you need to to prepare for how people would emotionally respond to that change. What what are their fears? You know how can I allay their fears? What is the benefit of this change? What what are people likely going to lose as a result of this change? Right? It's it's it's very very important that you before you introduce that is if you're the person in charge of introducing that change management process that you go through all of these things before implementing like when I say go through you you you you prepare for all of this right before implementing the change um otherwise you you might find a lot of blockade or people just try not to make the process the the change process So you would ask how do I build my change management skills? First of all, you can build change management skills by learning how to communicate clearly and transparently in HR we and when when I say u clearly and transparent and transparently it doesn't mean for instance you now have to share confidential information that you know the individuals involved or the people part of the that may be part of change process don't necessarily have to know.

[00:12:52]No, it's for instance if you don't know or if you can't share something being transparent is actually saying u you know this I'm not able to share now but you know these are the reasons for this right so it's that communication uh learning to be able to sit with silence at times you know and asking people to to trust you but at that point you'd have already built a relation you you'd have already built a trusty relationship with them anyway right that is quite quite important. So, first of all, you need to work and we'll get to communication next anyway. You need to work on your communication um communication skills, how to communicate transparently with people. You also need to have emotional awareness and be able to apply situational judgment. At times for us in HR, we know how things work or how things may go. But one question you might always want to ask yourself is, do I want to lose this war? Do I want to lose this present world so I can win the larger battle um with my colleagues with some of this change? Do I always have to insist on being right? So for instance, it might be that oh head office is the one that said we do this change right and then people come and they're like oh no we don't want it this and that and that. You don't for instance have to tell them you know being able to apply judgment is not saying no head office said we must do this so therefore we're doing it. It could be okay uh we've heard you let's go back to head office and see what can change and actually do make that effort to go back and if nothing then changes you know that you know you've tried but it's not for instance insisting that oh no this is what it is we must we must do it um you can also build this competency around change management by attending you know learning sessions again Dr. graduation has a rich resource here. So, I'm sure there's something around change management, attending training and just being prepared. But a a a vital a vital u a vital resource that you can use to build your change management skills is your own current experiences at work. So if for instance maybe you've been involved in say we're introducing a new system, you've been involved in a restructure, you've been involved in things around contract management or contract changes, all of these things are things that involve um change management and helping people deal with change. How did you deal with it? What lessons could you take from it? So it's it's having a sit down with yourself and reflecting on all of this that you know when you now get into a more senior role you can draw back on this experience and say oh the last time I tried to do this these were the challenges I faced this is what I could have done better and you begin to apply that. So that's for the change management one. The second one is communication. You see HR serves as a bridge between management and employees.

[00:15:48]You know, we're the ones that advise leadership so that people risk ambiticated, right? We're also the ones that are supposed to be or not that we're supposed to be we are employee advocates. So to be able to do this very to able to work this very fine balance and deliver on this, we need to be clear. We need to be empathetic and persuasive in our communication. Right?

[00:16:14]Um, it doesn't mean that we say yes to everything and to everyone. We can't do that. It doesn't mean that we we need to be two-faced or two mouths where I say to management a and then I go to employees and say B. No, it's that we develop the skills so that whatever it's whatever we're doing whether it's you know in our written communication it's in our verbal communication we need to be consistent and we need to be fair right we need to be able to adopt our language and our tone to different situations u I usually give this example that there's a way I can tell you to I can tell you I can come on this um call for instance and tell you to I'm not being rude or anything to shut up.

[00:17:02]Right? That would be very very rude. But there's a way I can also come in and say please be quiet. I've said the same thing, right? I've delivered the same message, but I've done it in different ways where in one you're probably going to give me attention and actually do it.

[00:17:20]So, h everyone please keep quiet.

[00:17:21]Session is about to start as opposed to I'm coming to say, "Oh, why is everything so rowdy? Don't you know we're supposed to everyone keep short?

[00:17:30]Does that is that making um is that clear to everyone?

[00:17:37]Thumbs up if that example is clear.

[00:17:42]Yeah. Thank you, William. I've seen that. Right. So, it's being able to work that balance and adopt your tone and your communication to the situation. One way we can learn this because all of us have inates and inbuilt communication styles right. So one way we can learn to be able to adopt sorry not adopt adapt our communication is to use a lot of a lot of tools and resources online to first of all be able to identify your communication style. So some of us are assertive, some of us can be very uh sub what's the word I want to use like submissive you know we defer a lot right and that would always work in situations and some of us are able to work that balance so to be able to even identify your style I would encourage us they I've not they're not on my slides but if you go online and just Google communication styles online quizzes to be able to identify your communication styles do that, identify your style, and then you can begin to improve on how you connect and communicate with other people. A another key competency related to communication is coaching skills. You see, at work, we deal with adults. Even with children these days, you can't just, you know, tell them, oh, you need to do something because I said so, or if you don't do this, this was going to happen, right? it that that that that era of work or even the world that we live in no longer exist because you know even in Nigeria everywhere if you're not careful about the way you deal with people you might find yourself on social media being harassed of bullying being harassed of being and we even on this call we can already mention a few people who've already you know [clears throat] who've already had their reputation standish just because people felt that they they spoke to me in a manner they did things that you know a boss shouldn't have done. So this is why coaching skills is very very important.

[00:19:46]Coaching skills are the qualities and actions that focus on helping individuals improve performance and it's very important for us as an HR leader to develop [clears throat] the skills so that we can be more strategic and not tactical. It also helps us that is when we develop coaching skills it also helps us to influence without being directive or instructive.

[00:20:10]So for instance someone comes to you with something as opposed to again just saying no this is not possible is it could be why do you you know why do you think this is the right thing to do or what outcome are you hoping to achieve if we went this way? What outcome are you hoping that >> you know we would achieve if we did this? And there are the other things we can do by helping people to draw on and bring in the answers themselves or people help people to see reason as to why you need to take certain steps.

[00:20:43]Right? You're building your influencing skills. You're building your coaching skills. I've also I'll just go through some of things I've mentioned in my notes on how we build coaching skills.

[00:20:54]one to building skills you can start by practicing what we call yourself >> and active listen you see this was that video they said no >> yeah sorry just took a minute there to mute >> [clears throat] >> um colleagues um to mute so But why not be um so everyone can hear me clearly.

[00:21:27]So how do you build your coaching skills? Like I was saying before, one is by building your active listening skills. Active listening u in summary is just when you're listening to understand what the other person is saying, right?

[00:21:42]Without listening just to respond. So there's a way I can be chatting with William for instance where in my head I'm just noting everything he's saying so I can give him an answer.

[00:21:53]>> [clears throat] >> Sorry, excuse me. But there's a way that I can also listen to William where I'm actually hearing what he says, right?

[00:22:02]And I can understand what he's saying and see the point of view where it's coming from. That's what active listening is. And to help us build that active listening when you're talking to people, right, you can say things like you can ask them where you're not clear on what they've said. You can ask them questions, you know, what we call open-ended questions, right? Or you can just ask them if I'm hearing you right, this is what you're saying. And then they can confirm to you whether that's what they said or whether that's not what they said. But when we practice active listening, it helps us to it enables people to express their thoughts to us and also helps us to gain deeper insight from them. Another way to build our coaching skills is to study coaching models. So the number of coaching models around again these are tools you can find online and I'm sure if you go through Dr. or adios resources on YouTube you find something around grow model where you know it's the grow grow is go reality options and you know will you find things called clear like you find all the models and then for your for your own u understanding and for you to be able to apply your work you could pick whichever best suits you and then begin to use that to structure effective um conversations with people. So say I know that I'm currently um an HR officer. I'm going to into a meeting with my boss as the HR manager.

[00:23:32]If for instance I've studied the coaching models in my next one to one I can use that you know in my next one to one and use my onetoone as a practice session for building my coaching skills.

[00:23:43]Related to build your coaching skills is also to seek feedback. Seek feedback from colleagues. Seek feedback from peers. seek feedback if you for instance you're middle management now you can seek feedback from juniors can seek feedback from you know even within the network if for instance within this network here of this HR mentorship if you if you've had friends you know people that interact with you seek feedback from them right I'm not sure I'm not a member of the CIPM but I know that the CIPD has that does the CIPM have things around um professionals giving feedback does anyone know who is a member of CIPM the call.

[00:24:25]Well, if there is, it'll be something for you to and you're a member of CIPM to explore, right? Because it'll also help you grow. Another way to build coaching skills is to practice problem solving techniques. So, um when employees come to you or people come to you for uh solutions or for things, don't jump into giving them the answer.

[00:24:49]Right? Again like I used in an example before you can ask them what outcome are you trying to seek from this what would good look like for you know um oh my bosses so let's use a practical example my boss doesn't listen to me this and that and that and that rather than oh maybe you should uh report your boss to the report your boss to this person or don't take no sense from your boss and everything as an HR officer or middle level HR management so questions like or things like why do you feel your has your boss always been like this with you. Oh no, my boss has always been like this. At what point did you know did it change? Oh, it changed at this point. Uh can you trace what has happened? Would you consider what do you think? So I need to practice coaching myself. What do you think would be a good way to be able to solve this problem? If for instance person says I cannot resign, I don't have any other job. Oh okay, maybe I should call my boss and have a sit down with my boss and see how what's happening. Right? By helping that person arrive at that conclusion, you have practiced problem solving and without telling them, oh, go meet your boss and have a chat and ask what's happening because it might not be anything. You've already helped them address that issue.

[00:26:01]Another way to build coaching skills is to stay updated on what's the current best practice. So, you you need to be a lifelong learner and you'll see this across all of the other companies I'll talk about. you need to keep updated on based on industry trends and practice.

[00:26:17]um in 2 years time grow may not longer be the a good model right so if grow is no longer a good model you need to you know move with the times one thing I'll wrap up this bit with and say is when you build great coaching skills you you know you have on your way to becoming a trusted advisor with peers right and with colleagues and even your uh superiors uh yes o I see that. Yeah, there's 360 evaluation which is very good um if your organization does that.

[00:26:53]Yep, thank you for that.

[00:26:56]Um the next skill I'll move on to is resilience.

[00:27:00]Resilience is a very vital skill to have whether you are even literally down or not. In the world that we live in, things are very fluid. Um things it can be this way today, tomorrow is another way, right? Um but more importantly as HR leaders is a skill that also always aspire to be an HR leader is a skill that you have to build right. Resilience um allows one to be able to navigate the complexities of a rapidly challenging and changing work environment. It helps you to be able to handle high pressure situations without losing your core posture. You know there's some people that something will happen and immediately their face already tells you that you know everything is going wrong right um but if you you've developed your resilience mechanisms it doesn't mean there's no storm going on right but you're able to maintain your custure and well-being right um it doesn't always resilience again is also knowing and accepting that you would always be liked especially for for us in nature. Some of us struggle with that and you need to be conf comfortable you know with that because the people that said like like they did for Jesus put you on the donkey and say hi him tomorrow will come and say crucify crucify him because of the nature of our work there are times that you're the bearer of good news and everyone's on your side there times you're the bear of bad news and then you are not oh HR is coming everyone disappear you need to be u you need to be able to especially if that's not if if you've got a personality trait where you like to be liked or where you like u where you like to to be on the good books of everybody for you to be a very competent HR leader um sorry to break it to you you need to be comfortable with being disliked but one thing you should maintain is you should continue to be fair and continue to be consistent. So how do you build your resilience?

[00:29:04]Because if you build resilience, right, you'd be able to adapt, persevere and lead with influence in any circumstance without again losing your composture.

[00:29:14]So first of all, to be able to develop that resilience as a competency, you need to practice self-care. Whatever self-care is for you, what makes you happy? What makes you not think about all the weight of the world? Right? For someone like me, what is avoid? I listen to news. I know what's happening in the world, but in the last one year or so, there's some certain news I don't I don't want to I I I I actively share away from listening to, right? Because I know what it will do to me if you know [snorts] I I you know, I come across it.

[00:29:54]And so for for you selfcare can be uh by 8:00 I have to be asleep. Self care can be every Thursday I'm taking myself to Cold Stone. Whatever. If Nigeria like there should be money, there should be no money. Whatever it is, I if it's my last 1,000 NRA or whatever 1,000 ice cream I can buy. Whatever selfare is for you, identify it and spend time doing the things you enjoy. One thing I always tell people is that in life life and that's just the nature of life right you need to build your pocket of good memories and good things because when sad news or bad events happen they don't give you notice right that tomorrow you don't you don't you don't get notice for instance that tomorrow my car is going to break down or tomorrow I'm going to meet redundant you don't get notice of all of those things but to be able to go through all of those situations because whether we like it or not, all those kind of situations will come. But to be able to go through those kind of situations, you need to build your bank of good memories. So that even when my car breaks down, I can find something to be like, well, at least yesterday I drank ice cream and or yesterday I spoke to my friend for 2 hours or yesterday I watch this very good movie or I read my Bible or I went to the mosque. Whatever it is that selfcare is for you, do it and do it consistently because you need it for what if you're a Christian is a ter familiar with the day of trouble, right? Also related to that especially for those of us in HR is having a network of individuals and building relationships and mentors who can share insights with you and who can you can run to. If you're a small HR organ, if you're a big HR organization, you probably have colleagues that you will sit down together and you you know you just let off team this person this, that person that. But if you're a small HR team or if you transition into a role where you're like a standalone HR like me, you need an external support network cuz everyone is looking to you. You cannot complain about your peer to another pair. You cannot complain about your peer to your boss again because that might not be it might look like you know you're not able to handle challenges not that for instance if they think things that your boss if for instance you report to CEO you know this to know but you need to have a network where which for me um I would say here I've got a CIP network that you know we we will sit down and everybody just let off steam and you find at times when you let off the steam that's all you need when you go home. Your your body is light and you're fine. So if you don't have a support network, find that.

[00:32:34]Again, um I'm going to plug this that is advertise this group uh because the number of people that are consistent members that always attend the sessions here, right? You can after the call not everybody drops up. you can build relationships or begin to network and make friends with people even here that have got more experience that you know they in your day of trouble or did I need advice that ah how do we deal with this situation you can always fall back on so have a network very important again to build your resilience you need to have a growth mindset there's something I had recently that stayed with me you need to be able to master how to overcome bad news Right?

[00:33:18]You need to be able to view setbacks as temporary and they're solvable. There's nothing you know uh it's a life saying I think u that there's nothing new under the sun right somebody has gone through whatever the situation is whether it's a work situation whether it's a personal situation so you need to be able to develop a growth mindset and to be able to overcome and not dwell on um bad news or setbacks. Setbacks are just that, right? If I'm going to Lagos for instance and I have a flat from and I have a flat tire, right? The flat tire is a setback. The flat tire does not mean I now stay stuck in state, right?

[00:33:58]Instead of, you know, dealing with the flat tire and then moving on so I can get to my destination. So view setbacks as that something like temporary. The final thing around this is setting boundaries and you need that at work in a child.

[00:34:14]Let's balance your workload with clear limits and also delegate task when necessary so you avoid burnout actually if you this really applies to for middle management right things that you know you can use as a development tool for your juniors give it to them you don't have to carry everything right and you also need to be able to we'll get to this in the organization part to manage your calendar such that you know you don't have to be in everything you need to be able to balance your workload and be very clear about this sits on my table. This does sit on my table. Again part of where you now bring your coaching skills for instance because there will be times people bring something to you that [snorts] has nothing to do with you but you know you is a senior person you cannot say no right part of coaching skills with that person is if it's not something I can take on now who else can do it right or if it's something you need to take on part of the coaching is and clear communication is what am I moving on to somebody else right because I'm just one related to this uh which I'll touch on is developing emotional and cultural intelligence. Emotional intelligence is the ability to understand and manage your own emotions and understand the emotions of others. You can't manage the emotions of others but you can understand the emotions. Um when we talk about emotional intelligence it includes you know being very self-aware um regulating yourself um empathy motivation and having the right social skills those are the components of EI again um if you go online check over the six I'm sure we're going on to 700 videos now Dr. Right? There'll be something on I'm sure here, right? You need to be able to develop that. Cultural intelligence will deal with if if you're one that works in a a global organization, cultural intelligence is understanding again the different cultural context that you work and how to work with people from different cultures. um if it's it's in a Nigeria specific environment it will be more around or um Dala is maybe from this area is there a particular way you you know well I can give that example so I'm Euroba we know that Euroba people are big on respect compared to say people who you know as Euroba person for instance if to on the call was older than me I cannot call or it would be considered rude for me to all to see my name. Whereas William, I'm just using you as an example. For instance, you you let's assume you're evil. You won't have a problem with me calling you by your first name, right? At work, all of us are professional and all of that, right?

[00:37:06]We we might be saying we might we might be an organization that works on a firstname basis. Part of being culturally intelligent is knowing for instance that toio even if we're on email saying to this d that outside of work or you know when we're offline it's ah mama how are you doing you know giving that respect that you might feel that is so important to them you know and building that relationship there because you might be calling to see or doing everything on email and all of that and you just find that you're not getting anywhere with this person.

[00:37:43]But whereas that whole mama that you just do ah mama is the family this and that again not not I'm not I'm not saying so I need to be very clear that I'm not saying that you're sucking up to people but you're just finding a way to connect that touches her right might get you further. So it's building that cultural cultural and emotional intelligence. So how do you build that is something I've said already and I'll say again. One is self-reflection. You need to be aware of your own communication style and your own emotions and how they impact others. Um you need to be practice what we call mindfulness. Um and one way to be able to u understand your own EQ that's another name for emotional intelligence is again going online. So sorry I'm giving us a lot of online assignments going online and taking an assessment so you can test how emotionally intelligent you are and then you can know how I can begin to deal with others. So for instance if I'm if for instance my own assessment tells me I'm a sensitive person and I've just seen your name and I know that Adi is a very direct person and at times the way he talks is this by taking the assessments that I've done and I know this is what who I am right I can manage my own self such that I know that when for instance instead of saying dear dam good morning um this is what we like you to do this week and next week you know that's the way I would like someone send me an email whereas I would just send me an email and say I'm this next week and blahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahah blah blah blah I already understand that this is the way this person is right because remember like I said you cannot manage the emotion of others you can only manage your own emotions so it's very important that you understand and manage your own emotions so start learning your EQ and CQ that's cultural intelligence by self-reflection another way to develop this is developing empathy and you develop empathy by something I've mentioned before which is active listening trying to put yourself in someone else's shoes and I do this in my work with other people when they come to me and I say put yourself if you're the receiving end of this right how would you feel and I also test that with myself too so if it was me that someone did this to how would I react would I like it if I don't like it or if I would you know if it would rub me the wrong way that already tells me that don't do that to somebody else, right? Practice emotional regul regulation in HR. This is very very important for us. There'll be days that you want to throw everything, you know, because you're just like, I'm sure all of us can see my reaction, right? What's all this? So, in those times, if you need to take a break, take a break, right? develop your own techniques to be able to regulate yourself emotionally so that you're not carrying um you know you're not carrying a load that's not yourself just building to said this to me Dr. She said this to me uh then came and did this. So therefore everybody does not like me this organization. No, right? So you need to be able to practice emotional regulation where you don't take things personally u and so that you're not reacting. There also tools online that can help us practice emotional regulation. There's something called again write that down another assignment um grounding exercises where for instance is you take deep breaths or for instance you count to 10 or you the touch sense the different tools where um focus on five things you can see so before I react to what Dr. said what five things can I see what three things can I touch and you don't have to leave where you are to do that because maybe I'm talking to you and across table I can touch the table on the table there's some on my table there's my ear plugs there's my book there's this those are three things I can touch right in the room where I am what the five things I can see I can see William I can see so founding exercises write that down those things can help you practice emotional regulation be open-minded about learn about other cultural perspectives, right? And I think this would even help us as Nigerians and help us with some of stereotypes that we have. So rather than say using Nigeria as an example, you people like this, even people like that, I'll tell people like that. Be open to learning about what makes you know what are the positives about them, right?

[00:42:10]Read books, try to watch movies, interact, right? Those are the things that help you build your cultural u competencies, cultural intelligence.

[00:42:19]Practice open communication, right? So I don't understand this about um u say ths for instance and I know someone that is a thief right so open communication can be you guys are always wearing black your your clothes are black and white you know why is that the case is there something around that and I know that's a very simple example but if be curious about you know about things for those of us that work in global organizations you actually find that some of this curiosity helps build relationships right so for instance as and uh be very careful again um about how you word some of these things so you don't come across as offensive. So say you have an Indian colleague right rather than asking them say h you people have so many gods why do you have so many people so many gods that you people just put on your walls or put in front of your house it could be a question around you people celebrate Diwali what does Diwali signify or oh I've noticed that at 1:00 you leave to go u you leave um to to say sorry I work with Indian colleagues at times you go and do some prayers you leave to go do some prayers Uh what do you have to always not not your if do you have to always clock my mirror but you know why do you always have to do that just curiosity and openness is is helps you understand again why they act or why they may act the way they do uh be mindful of your biases and I've just touched that right all of us have biases uh Euroba people they're like this Indian people they're like this uh English people they're like this be mindful of all of those biases and Test test test this um am I saying this about people because my grandmother has told me that people are wicked or do I have this view about Indian people because of this experience? Test it.

[00:44:10]Um any questions? We've got three more to go. Um just wanted to check that we're all good before I carry on.

[00:44:21]Okay. The next competency you need to develop is strategic thinking. You know, a strategic thinking is taking the time to logically evaluate information to make decisions. So, you're not making emotions based on feelings. You're making them based on, you know, um on readily available information at that time. So it involves identifying risk, trends, resources, opportunities that can impact the plans and goals of your organization, of your team. You know, u if I was going to put it in one word, I would say that strategic thinking is being forwardlooking. And how do you how do you become someone who is very forwardlooking and someone who is not reactive? You can do that by word. You take a lot of time to observe.

[00:45:11]Again, a word you've heard me say a lot this evening. reflect and ask the tough questions that people would not you know usually ask. So as a team we've always done XYZ why why have we always done XYZ? We've done this I mented it in this department. Why have we done XYZ? Right?

[00:45:35]Ask that question. Um get external perspectives. Again, exact practice can be listening to people, can be talking to people, can be say I'm in HR, I go to meetings uh in the business, right? Um or I go to meetings in a totally different industry, right? U that has nothing to do with me. I I read a medical journal external like totally different and try to get new perspective. This may ruffle us but again you also develop strategic thinking by embracing conflict. So not every time uh agree with what everybody says or this is what we're doing. Yes.

[00:46:22]Um at times challenge and be ready to see your challenge through doesn't mean you are challenging for challenging sake. No, you know if something is not right or you think that there's an alternative, try to propose that without being, you know, disagreeable. But embrace, don't shy away from conflict.

[00:46:41]Embrace conflict uh more often and practice analyzing opportunities and you know and risk. So, oh, we're going to like we said in the first time about change management. Okay, so we're about to make people redundant.

[00:46:58]Let's use that as an example, right?

[00:47:00]What are the opportunities in this redundancy? The opportunities are that okay, so we're going down to three rows instead of five rows. Could we redesign the job of the remaining three people?

[00:47:11]What are the redundancies?

[00:47:13]Because when we say there's a redundancy, we say the role that is falling off, right? Not the person. But what some of us have experienced is that we cut two people, right? And then we redistribute the job the task of those two people to the remaining three people.

[00:47:29]So oh this change management problem is coming up. What are the opportunities?

[00:47:33]What are the risk? What can we do differently? You can use that in the future. Why um what can we do now through this redundancy so that in 3 years time we're not having another redundancy.

[00:47:47]that you know go through those scenarios in your mind and through that you can develop your thinking one thing I would say and I will still practice it now um is if you're an imagine leader right as much as time allows because obviously you'd have task that your managers and um your managers would want you to do as much as time allows I would say that block your calendar right at work or if It's your personal time. Block your calendar to actually sit down and practice stuff like where it's almost like a personal retreat. So for me at time on some of the days I work from home or some days I'm even in the office I like block one or two hours and say oh I'm going to go through this right block that time. Be very deliberate about building that skill otherwise you know you won't build it. We've spoken about conflicts and so I'll just touch on that which is the seventh competency that will build conflict management in HR. We should already be familiar um with dealing with conflict. Um and you you might have had to deal with some mediations you know um and when we say conflict it's not it's not just um two um employees are not getting along. It could be um staff are requesting for a benefit. I'll use that [snorts] example again, but it's something thatization might not be the portion to afford.

[00:49:18]Right? That's already a conflict that you have to manage. It could be employee disputes. Ah this my salary. I shouldn't have gotten I should have gotten more.

[00:49:28]You know that that's a dispute. Um and like I said it's that that that that this skill is something that we might already currently practice in our current role right so how do you build it or how do you own it right so that you are better conflict management one is encourage open dialogue so staff want using the example of staff want this benefit as a company we cannot afford it right first of all rather than again shutting them down let people express themselves or what benefits. Say we want gym membership cuz I I I know that gym um um being active lifestyle is something that um you know um that's a not a trend. It's been a trend for a while in Nigeria right now but it's for a while it's it's it's been but and it's still an ongoing trend. Oh, we want G membership, right? Gym membership maybe now currently cost like 100,000. We have 50 employees. The company cannot afford 500,000 for G membership. We already know that. But when people come right, let them express themselves and then when they they've been heard, have that dialogue with them as to okay, we've got to check there 100 of you.

[00:50:45]This is 500,000 from the company's resources. This is not something we can currently afford.

[00:50:51]What is a middle ground? Or if we cannot even do it now, should we pick this up in 2 years time where maybe the company might be in a better shape? Right?

[00:51:02]That's one way of you know open dialogue where people actually there is people actually feel that they've been heard and not managed because that's where some of the issues come where people feel that you know you're just managing me offer neutral mediation right so uh where it's the case where you know it might be employee disputes or people are not hearing each other right uh be the be the be the and we'll get to that. We'll get to that there to be the Switzerland, right? Okay. So, uh what are you saying? What are you saying? Uh this is the middle ground again. I can see from what both of you are saying, where can we go from here? Right? So when you know when you do that as opposed to I'm taking Ady's side versus P or Amma's side or you know where Amma already feels there's nothing I say you're going to support Adi anyway when you take that neutral stance and you make both of them feel ad you're likely going to achieve u a resolution as opposed to and it can also be the case where for instance Amma is actually truly wrong but again remember what I said at the beginning that we're dealing with adults. If you tell her that she's wrong, you're not you there's already a blockade there, you're not going to get through to to her. But if you help like during the mediation where you and before you do mediation anyway, you speak to both parties individually. If you've spoken to Amma first and you've through coaching your coaching skills, you might realize that auntie you're sorry I'm assuming that you're female that you know you're the one not in the right here. By the time you're doing that neutral mediation with the two of them, Amma is at a place where they're more accepting of the solution than you know where it's you already wrong. So you just have to accept that is right situation. Um another way to build your conflict management skills is investigate what the root cause is.

[00:53:09]Right? You would usually find that when people, again, you see this with the change management made, when people resist something, they might say, "I'm resisting it because we've always done it this way." That may not be the actual reason why they're resisting it. The actual reason they're resisting it is that I might lose my I might lose some of my position. I might lose or people are always so what to automate this process. For instance, that's one area where we see change. When we see resistance, want to automate this process. Meanwhile, when I was doing this process, 100 people, everybody in the office, which I like will come and say good morning to me because they want me to do this. You're not going to automate the process and then I'm losing allbody come say good morning to me. So even if I'm telling you that, oh, we've always done it this way. We've always done it this way is not the reason why I'm resisting. So with your conflict management um skills or to build that, investigate what people are not saying, right? What what what have I not been I've been told XYZ what is the underlined issue in this XYZ that is driving this coffee what is the root cause begin to do that and you'll see that you you know your coffee management skills are improving use negotiation skills right um there's something called a best alternative to a negotiated agreement that's also something so batner another assignment Google it right um when you're going into meetings recovery. What is what's the worst case?

[00:54:39]What what's the worst case scenario for me? What's the best case? What what's my compromise? What can I live with? Right?

[00:54:46]Be aware of that before you go into conflict management meetings. And again, this is these things like I said, Google partner and start practicing it. you find that you know uh you're not always you you'll find that you become more pragmatic and more practical when you do that. Create an action plan. Right? So whatever disputes uh if you're using coffee management to resolve a change management issue or even the normal employee relations, create an action plan. Okay, we've said all of this. This is what we're going to do next. This is the time we're going to do it. Are we all agreed?

[00:55:27]Um I I I don't need to to fl this issue.

[00:55:30]We know the importance of evidencing and documenting things as HR professionals.

[00:55:34]Document that. Um and I'll wrap up this one by saying as a leader conflict management is much more than resolving issues. For us as HR, it's about deepening in the board issues before they arise and before they escalate.

[00:55:50]um that is where you know that's where our work around conflict management actually shows. So it's always it's very good to begin to build the skill. Now the last skill that I would like to talk about is organizational skills. Um as an HR leader you get to wear a lot of hats, right? And different things competing for attention. Somebody wants a 5 minute here and 5 minute there right? Um the variety of issues for you to deal with.

[00:56:15]So you need to be able to build strong organizational skills. Right? We've mentioned before delegating. What do I need to delegate? What doesn't have sit on my plate? Right?

[00:56:27]Maximize your calendar. So as a as even now um I'm available between 9:00 a.m.

[00:56:34]So for my bosses because my boss can call you at any time. So block that out.

[00:56:39]So Dr. Josh is my boss. He can call me.

[00:56:43]Uh my bodies are blocked just in case my boss needs me afternoon. I'm available for this uh on Tuesdays. This is what I do again practic because as HR professionals we have to be dynamic.

[00:56:58]There are days where you already have plans but then when you enter all of those plans is scattered because something else has happened that you have to firefight. But by proactively maximizing your calendar, you limit all of those firefighting that you have to do. Right? Related to this is taking time that is in building organizational skills is taking time to monitor how long you spend on routine task. Right?

[00:57:20]So look at your job description. Look at what you do every day. What do I do all of the time? How long do I spend doing this? that would help you again by time you're blocking your calendar or blocking your time or I spend um one hour in meetings or 10 hours in meetings every week right um um I have to meet u ITF industrial team training fund every month I spend 3 hours doing that that helps you so monitor everything that you do all of the time and then block out your time appropriately prioritize work as we can see on the screen I've I've put in something for the organizational skills I've put in something called the Eshaw as an hour. What I mean is an hour matrix you know urgent and important right what is urgent and important do it now what is urgent but not important shally for later what is not important and not urgent delete [clears throat] what is important and not urgent delete what is what is um what is urgent but not important delegate right so manage your time Because if if you if you don't build your organizational skills, you just find yourself being pulled in different directions. And as a leader, you can't have that, right? The final thing you've put there is be Switzerland.

[00:58:43]Um how many of us what do we know Switzerland for? Politically now, not um not financially. What do we know Switzerland for?

[00:58:57]You can type in the chat box. You can unmute yourself and answer that question.

[00:59:08]Anyone to be unbiased? Yes. Yeah. Thank you.

[00:59:17]Um, anyone knows another word for that?

[00:59:31]Oasis said it to be unbiased but for some of us who are very into politics we probably heard of this term of non-aligned movement right Nigeria used to be that um very early on in our history but they we we we became aligned so Switzerland is unbiased they're always in the middle they're very neutral principle of neutrality they belong to everybody body but they belong to nobody right and as HR we have to learn to be that you you need to be Switzerland to be able to advocate for employees and also to be able to pass on senior management message to employees you need to be very neutral even when things and again I'm referencing the u the training last week by Michael Luatay right even when you know you you've you you think you feel that this is what it should be or what it should not be. Maintain that neutrality, right? Maintain that neutrality because you'll be surprised that even your own views might be wrong, right? Or you know things have changed or things have moved. People come to you and that's why having networks are very important. People come to you for different things. You're holding many things. You're the one that knows as HR the person that is going to be fired on Friday.

[01:00:52]Right? You're the one that knows who is likely not getting a bonus. You're the one that also knows the person whose spouse is unwell. Right? You're the one that knows who's, you know, who has almost maxed out their HMO. You do a lot of things, right? That other people don't know and see. You cannot go sharing all of those things again because of confidentiality. But you need to be careful not to let the things that you know right influence you or make you biased towards some decision making. So maybe if you're [clears throat] using Adi sorry your name is the first name I see um as an example. Um I know Adi has two children.

[01:01:36]I'm assuming as Adi is female has two children and we're talking about promotion and I know that oh is very family life. Maybe one of the children is even sick and everything and then oh they're not saying oh let's you know it looks like I might go for this opportunity but it's not me as HR say I don't think so with everything going the person's personal life no don't be that as a leader you will know a lot of things but please do not let that your your decision making [clears throat] should be evidence based should be neutral and should be fair as a leader you should be able to if someone came to you and said you took this decision.

[01:02:14]What was the reason and rationale for that? You need to be able to give a justifiable reason why you've done that.

[01:02:23]We've gone through quite a lot of skills u this evening and um this was just part two. So imagine if we had to do part one and two but again I'm very grateful to Michael for covering that part one um last week. So please watch that. Uh uh it's very important for us to know that role was not built in a day. So you need to for you to be able to develop these competencies, you need to practice and keep practicing and keep practicing and learning from current situations. If the things you take away from me tonight, it's about self-reflecting, right? So we've mentioned about eight skills this evening, find out which ones am I already good at, which ones do I need to work on and then go through what do I need to work on and build the skills.

[01:03:07]Okay. Um and that's it from me. We all have the floor. Thank you. We spent one hour just above one hour together. Um, everyone has the floor now. Any questions or contributions?

[01:03:41]questions, contributions.

[01:03:47]Yeah, Victoria, go ahead. Just unmute yourself and just Victoria, I can see you first and then Tossy, just unmute yourself and go ahead.

[01:03:57]>> Okay. Um, thank you so much. Um, I was looking forward to your sections.

[01:04:04]>> Thank you very much.

[01:04:06]the last time you had sections that was the first time I attended yours and it was impactful. So when I saw this um [laughter] this advert again can't miss it for anything. Thank you so much and I appreciate everything you've shared. Now to my question. Um, you talked about conflict resolution, which by God's grace I'm good at, but this organization I found myself [clears throat] is kind of a new organization. Like it's a place I've never worked in before. So this particular organization has to do with a lot of uh online um clients. Let's call it customers. is a faction home. So I'm trying to like understand the business first and uh at some point I need to there are some ts I need to come in. I'm not supposed to do that as an HR but the person that is meant to do it sometimes she gets so busy. So my boss was like oh if I have the opportunity I should step in. So for the fact that I'm just trying to understand the business, I don't really know how to come in when it has to do with conflict. Why did I say conflict? Um sometimes a customer orders uh a particular style and you're giving the 6 to 10 days depending when you get the fabrics. Now you don't have the fabric on gram because our our um policy is 6 to 10 days depending the kind of uh style you're working on. So now it's up to 10 the 10th day and the customer is reaching out and like I've not heard anything from you people and probably my boss is busy. She's not responded to this customer and uh what's it called?

[01:05:58]the supervisor is supposed to respond to possibly one thing with her is oh boss has to answer this I cannot answer it because she doesn't have what to say now I'm seeing this I really want to come in to probably calm the customer down but I don't want to go overboard let be that my boss comes up later and say oh Victoria you're not supposed to say this Victoria you're not supposed to do this who actually answered this so in that kind of now I'm still trying to understand everything. So what do you advise?

[01:06:34]>> So this is what you've said this is you taking on something that's external to your role right and they should they should already have a customer service process. So maybe one thing you can encourage them to do is what can the boss delegate right so if we get this inquiry and this if we don't have the fabric who who is in charge of stock I think that's where best to come in who is charge of stock such that we're not waiting for the boss because I don't think it's even good use of the boss's time to be the one responding to know whether we have a fabric or not right except I I don't know I don't know the ins and outs of the business so who is in charge stock that will be able to respond to this or pending that pending the creation of that structure. what you can do to calm a customer down um from my little customer service cuz it's a customer service thing point of view might be you know if we see if we have a tracker for instance and we see this person putting the order on the 5th of June by the 10th of June which is 5 days if we've not responded we've chasing a to respond but maybe on that 5th of June is sending them a holding response we've received your order um we will come back to you um as soon as possible. We just wanted to let you know that we've received your order. So, at least the person knows that something has come in and I'm not just, you know, um and I'm not just um I've not just paid for a service I'm not likely to get. So, but I think when you be from my point of view though, others might have a different view from my point of view where you're likely to make the most difference because this is a customer service thing, right? and handling u managing customer expectations and delighting the customer. Uh the the the organization would have to refine its own uh customer service process first, right? How we could you who who would be getting back to the customer. These are our scripts. We have this would we first of all would we even put clothes online or put materials online that we don't have in stock or won't be able to deliver? Do you get? So um I think that the boss you might need to sit down with the boss to do some of that work but u where where you might be able to make the most differences before even gets to the point where is the customer chasing you on the te what updates can we be giving that customer before then I hope that's useful >> so much ma that's noted thank you >> toi all right thank you very much um thank you I hope you Can you hear me clearly?

[01:09:15]>> Yes, I can.

[01:09:18]>> All right. All right. Thank you very much. And this is not my first time attending your class and I really want to appreciate how well you've broken this down for us.

[01:09:27]>> So um you see this topic is coming at a time that I personally wish it came earlier. I mean at the beginning of your um teaching tonight, you mentioned something that sticks and resonates 100% with me. you said something that um um your I mean you can skill through an interview but then the these skills this key competencies is what will keep you on the job. Now I've actually been doing HR for years but for the first time ever I got my first leadership role in the month of January this year. However, unfortunately unfortunately I was two weeks ago I was asked to I was advised to resign effective immediately. Now I want to point out some of the issues I had and in as much as I have lost that job. I just want to hear your view on maybe things I could have done differently.

[01:10:25]Right. So when I got this job of like I said I've been doing HR for years but never in a managerial position. I was the team lead, right? But then I had some issues such that the role was an extremely bulky role. I don't know how well to emphasize it for you. It was it's a lot, right? It's a whole lot. And one of the first issues I had was that I was not properly on boarded. I mean, when I applied for that role, it was a HR generalist position. and I scaled through first and second stage interviews and by the time I'll get my offer letter I'm seeing people pro lead right so I just thought it was a generalist position but eventually I got the team lead position now one of the challenges I had was that the person who was whom I was taking over from she didn't exactly hand over well to me I mean she was less than one week to her last working date when I resumed so I didn't get a handover note I didn't get um insight on I didn't get orientation on what the role entails. Inevitably, I had to learn on the job, right? And I just had to learn on the job and you would agree with me that learning on a job for this kind of role would bring about some errors, right?

[01:11:49]it brought about some errors and I I believe that you also agree with me that for someone to fully sink into a role the person needs like between six to one year especially if it's a leadership position but unfortunately I was barely 4 months and my boss could not like maybe put up more and they just called a meeting with HR and told me this is the decision and that was just what I found myself in. But then let me just analyze some things to you. Um we had a maternity leave issue right where one of the consultants that I was managing she put to bed and it was via CS however the project she was working with said they did not have the capacity of course she's entitled to 3 months maternity leave but then the project said they don't have the capacity to you know let a staff go for three whole months and at the same time pay the staff while while she's on m like she's is not working but then she's entitled to her salary. They said they couldn't afford that and they were asking me for other options. Now we know that 3 months maternity leave is the policy. It is the standard but in this case the project they didn't envisage this kind of of it's a timed project right I think for 9 months or so. So they didn't envisage this kind of problem and they asked me what other options I have. Now I spoke to this consultant. She told me that in as much as she gave birth via CS, this is not her first delivery and she's willing to resume after one month. I told her we don't exactly support that but I'll get back to her. Now the project team, I gave them options, three options. Okay, the first option is maternity leave of um 3 months. That is what the policy says. But since they can't exactly afford this, the second option is since she is willing to work from home, right?

[01:13:41]Um since she's willing to resume after one month. Another option could be her, you know, one her having one full month of maternity leave and then the second and third month, she's either resuming back to work with modified working hours. So instead of her doing 8 hours, maybe 9 to 5, she could do 11 to 2:00 p.m. something like that. Or she does her one month full stay at home maternity leave. Then the second and third month she works from home. So these are the options I gave her.

[01:14:14]However, my my boss had a very big problem with it and said um we could get sealed for that, you know, or something.

[01:14:22]But that was just one issue, right? Um another one was um you know in managing contracts. Sorry, are you with me? Did you lost me for a bit?

[01:14:31]>> Yeah. No, no, no, I'm with you. I can hear you. Okay.

[01:14:34]>> So another one another one is that um I am in charge of managing consultants contracts, right? So um we had this this um we had this policy we rolled out where we said if we send reminders for someone whose contract is expiring maybe on the 20th of June we send reminders and we don't get an advice on what to do maybe renew or not renew. after 24 hours after contract expiration we can go ahead to disengage the consultant involved right but then I had this situation of some people's contracts were expiring I sent reminders I didn't get um what's it called advice on what to do I didn't get feedback it was much later I got to understand that the particular personnel in charge of that project she had been sick and she's hospitalized so which is why I kept kept sending numerous reminders and didn't get any response. But then I sent reminders and after the consultant's contract expired 24 hours, I sent another reminder again. My boss saw this and was so mad and sent me a mail saying I am going against um management directive that I know what to do in this kind of situation which is to just disengage the consultant but I am sending reminders when I'm supposed to have taken action. She sent me a mail, copied HR, copied finance manager and all of that. Right now, this has already kind of set me on fire. Eventually, we got advice for those consultants and that one passed. But then some other consultants came up again and their contracts were expiring. Of course, I sent my normal reminders before the expiration. I didn't get any response.

[01:16:21]24 hours after the expiration, I sent a final reminder. I still didn't get any response. And because of the previous situation where they sent me a mail for going against management directive, I disengaged these guys. Immediately I sent them you know letter of nonrenewal or something. Emails began to fly that we ought to have had, you know, I ought to have, you know, at least heard from them before disengaging. I ought to have done this. I ought to have done that.

[01:16:51]But the most painful part is that my boss who actually set me on fire before she came and told me that I am not strategic enough that I'm supposed to envisage some kind of saint before acting that why would I go ahead to disengage you know this consultant meanwhile you're the same person who who sent me a query/mail >> to say do you understand this problems so I just went to work one faithful day doing my work as usual and I got called for a meeting and then all the errors that I had been having from day one was counted against me literally. I barely could could not defend myself and I was just asked to resign effective immediately.

[01:17:38]>> Now all of this I'm I'm saying is by gone but because I am a HR passionate person I mean I love the corporate world so much and I feel like HR is my is a department where I I've been doing HR for over 10 years. Do you understand? So this class is coming in fact it's coming as a as a soulless me I'm learning and I feel like I would do better in future but with these things I'm analyzing I mean it's just because of time that I'm not going to give more >> but with this please what do you think I I I should have done better or something because >> it's really been a whole lot a whole lot. Thank you very much.

[01:18:22]>> Thank you, Tossi. And um first of all, congratulations and um really sorry the way it turned out and it did because it seems from what you said that you were not set up for >> success at all. Um I would like to apply some coaching with you for this. So if we can catch off offline would be great.

[01:18:42]But one thing I would encourage you to do if you've not done is is journal. Um when I say journal um all of this experiences right because to be to be to be honest with you this is this is a learning experience right that it's a setback that you you're already overcoming right so it'll be to journal everything that's happened what you what you feel what you felt what you could have like I mentioned about coaching thing what you could have done better what good support would have looked like for you right because even as you go for interviews stuff. This is some of the experiences you've drawn. You know, in some interviews the well, at least for me, it's a it's an interview question. I always ask that, you know, tell me about a project or something you've done before that didn't go as planned. What did you learn from it? You know, um the if for instance you went to an interview, you asked that you this your life experience is you you can draw enough from that, right? So I would because of time and because of other people on the call um it it would be better for us take it offline and discuss more in more >> in more detail. But if you've not journaled or you know by journal again written or if you're not a writing person saying everything that you felt or what you could have you know um do that and then um so at least do that listen back or read read back and then uh we can take it from there.

[01:20:14]>> But yeah it's not a very it's what you've gone through is not a wonderful experience. It's not a wonderful experience at all. Looks like you've been really at the middle.

[01:20:27]>> Yeah.

[01:20:28]>> So, let Mr. How do I offline?

[01:20:32]>> Yeah. Dr. has my details to give you able to give you.

[01:20:37]>> Okay. All right. All right. Thank you very much. I appreciate.

[01:20:41]>> Yeah. And please don't let this knock you down.

[01:20:44]>> All right. Thank you. I won't.

[01:20:46]>> So, else has a had a question.

[01:20:57]Um, I saw a question. Does it ad raised?

[01:21:06]No, I'm just going to read something from um Okay.

[01:21:25]O has a question please. How do you handle a supervisor? Oh, sorry. How do you un how do you handle a supervisor with zero understanding of some of these competencies for instance zero emotional intelligence conflict management etc. Uh this is an interesting one because an easy answer would have would have been um you know send them a link to this YouTube video and also send them a link to the YouTube video and and for real I I I keep apping on it but for real to be able to get more context what I've shared tonight please go and listen to the session by Michael that doctor that was that was last week if I'm correct or two weeks ago.

[01:22:11]I think yeah it was either last week or two weeks ago. Um listen to that as as a part one. If you're in a position to be able to send to them, it will be to it will be to share with them. But for you as a person which I think you're asking how do you handle a supervisor with some of these things?

[01:22:31]Uh it's decided for yourself how would you work because this is a job that you have right? I'm I'm Am I right to assume this is your manager? Your direct line manager.

[01:22:48]Is it there?

[01:22:55]>> Yes. Yes.

[01:22:57]>> Right. So, um remember what we said about emotional intelligence. You can only man you can only understand the emotions of others. you can't um you can only understand emotions of others you cannot manage it right so it will be to do that exercise with yourself right um on this is what my current reality is am I ready to leave this job if I'm not ready to leave this job what are the things that I can do so for instance if it's if you have a onetoone with the manager it can be as um how do how would you like me to work or how do how would you like me to work with you? Right?

[01:23:39]Whilst you're making a plan to exit, right? Um it will also be again taking a a learning from this experience to to remember that this is not the kind of manager I want to be when I become an HR leader. Right? But it it will be to have that sit down with yourself. If I could give the advice is to have that sit down with yourself as to this [clears throat] is my current reality. How can I work with this?

[01:24:08]How can I work with this person? Right?

[01:24:10]What are things I've done that has made this person praise me? What are things I've done that makes them, you know, go off? Um what are things that because at times might not even be the things that you've done. It might be their interactions and all of that with other people that is now affecting you. That may be the case. I'm just as you been, right? Um how do I separate myself from this right? It'll be asking yourself some of those hard questions and preparing a plan because it might be a lot. you know preparing your plan of um you know how how am I getting out of this team or um how do I be how how can I live with this that's a very short you know answer for the period that we you know for the time that we've got any other questions Any other ads up?

[01:25:27]>> Ladies and gentlemen, >> has a question.

[01:25:32]Yeah, please go ahead. You can unmute yourself and ask a question.

[01:25:40]>> I think doctor should go ahead.

[01:25:42]>> Okay.