Filipino Family Traditions That Caught Me Off Guard

Added: 2026-05-26

[00:00:00]Good morning everybody. It's Bob. Um, I'm going to briefly talk about something uh that's happening right now just up the street from me uh before I get into my main topic. So, everybody does this in the States, too.

[00:00:18]I wouldn't say everybody, but people do this in the States, and it's weird seeing it here, and you may hear it here in a minute, depending on what's going on.

[00:00:29]So, an ambulance came up the street and as soon as it stopped, everybody and their mother came out of the woodwork to go see what was going on. One woman who lives next to me over here that I'm looking at decided to go on her roof to check her mangoes, which she doesn't do. She never does it. And she's up there right now checking her mangoes. That's why I'm speaking a little soft. Uh other people went outside, you know, vacuuming the street and figure of speech, but you get my drift.

[00:01:09]So, if you hear this the siren go, I've been waiting like 10 15 minutes to start this recording. That's what's going on.

[00:01:16]Oh, they're bringing in a like a flatboard into her or whoever it is.

[00:01:23]So, we might get interrupted by some sirens here in a little bit, just so you know.

[00:01:28]So, what I really wanted to talk about today is uh family etiquette. And what I mean by that is her family is in town and she graduates on Friday and they all came into town. They were here yesterday.

[00:01:45]They're up the road now at her aunts and uncle's houses. They only live like 5 minutes up the road. They were up there last night drinking.

[00:01:54]And I have no problems with her family.

[00:01:56]Love her dad. I love her mom. Brothers and sisters are awesome.

[00:02:02]But there's an etiquette when you meet their family that I didn't know until I came here. And she forgot to tell me some of it and she found it funny. I found it rather a little bit well a little bit embarrassing because I didn't know.

[00:02:23]And so when when we we met them down at our corner down here so that they could have the trikes follow us up. There was like we had like two or three trikes because of their uh luggage and there were there were five people total. Five people. One, two, three. Yeah, five people.

[00:02:51]We got down there. Um, they had let us know they got to the the bus station nearby and they were taking a Jeep me over to that corner and we get there.

[00:03:00]We're waiting for a little bit and the girlfriend went over and got some p um pandisol and as she's waiting there, they hopped off the um the jeep name and I saw them. And when you when you first meet the family, it's their tradition to show elders respect. And what you do is you take the back of your hand, like your knuckles here, and you press it up against their forehead. You know, you take it, press up against her forehead.

[00:03:32]That's their thing. I do that with her mom and dad all the time.

[00:03:37]And I usually will call him sir, but that's just me. That's the way I am.

[00:03:42]that's the way I do things.

[00:03:45]She informed me yesterday that she doesn't like her dad doesn't like being called sir. And I think he kind of meant that half jokingly.

[00:03:54]Um but I explained to her, you know, that's just the way I am, you know, military and just way I was raised.

[00:04:02]For me, it's a sign of respect. So she got it.

[00:04:10]and the family will kind of take over things and it gets a little chaotic and it did yesterday a little chaotic and I'm glad that her family isn't as intrusive as what I've heard from other f you know other expats here with their in-laws or girlfriends families or whatever how they can be intrusive and so far I haven't had that issue at all.

[00:04:36]Uh these are the the this is the family that um stopped an alleged kidnapping of me a couple years ago in Belell.

[00:04:48]So I have a lot of lot of respect for them and they have it for me.

[00:04:55]even her brother um who's here.

[00:05:00]I told him he could ride the motorcycle because he has a motorcycle license and he needs to get back and forth and he used to live here.

[00:05:06]Well, I wouldn't well live. He stayed here for a while. Um he was building helping to build one of the houses of the family up the road here. That was a couple years ago. So, he has friends here. So, I told my girlfriend, I was like, "If he needs to borrow the bike, go ahead." And he's very shy. He will.

[00:05:24]In two years, I've put on 5,000 kilometers on that bike. So, I don't use it much.

[00:05:37]So, he felt a little embarrassed about using it. And plus, he's he's a tiny guy. He's tiny. He probably weighs above 20 and is like 5'2.

[00:05:46]And my bike is what they would consider a big bike here.

[00:05:53]And my girlfriend says it's hilarious watching him ride it because it's such a big bike and he's such a small person, but he handles it great. I mean, he's been riding bikes since he's been, you know, he's been riding a bike for years, so he knows how to ride it. So, I'm not at all worried about it. But she told him if he's drinking that he can't ride it. So, he had brought it up there yesterday and he brought it back last night, but had one of his friends ride him back up to the family's house, one of the houses. I don't know which one. There's two up there.

[00:06:21]and they were all up there drinking. I was exhausted from the heat cuz oh my god, the heat the last two days have been insane and I was I've been just dumping sweat. My body sore. I did a lot of stuff here the day before and I was just dumping sweat. So I was wasn't feeling good last night. So I ended up not going but today if we go up there, you know, if they're having stuff out there, which they probably will, I'll go up there tonight.

[00:06:46]But the etiquette, you know, I always treat people with respect. And you have to realize, too, when when your girlfriend or significant other or whoever with their elders, you're going to notice a weird dynamic.

[00:07:04]And the dynamic is no matter what happens, the elder is right. And you have to respect the elder. So they can do whatever they want and you have to respect it.

[00:07:15]And this is towards other Filipinos or Filipinos or whatever. And it's strange, you know, and it it I guess it kind of happens in her family. It's not as obvious, I don't think. Um I can't really think of off the top of my head a particular incident that would make me think that.

[00:07:39]um you know it but you could it's like you can feel the energy type thing.

[00:07:49]So when you're coming here and you're meeting her family that's what you're going to run into. Another thing is they make a lot of food.

[00:07:59]I thought parties in the states you know a lot of people bring food. No, they they've they make a lot of food and a lot of people will come, especially when we were in the um not necessarily here, but when we were in the province, their neighbors were coming around. There was I couldn't even tell you how many people, at least a couple dozen. They come there and it's just for the food and then they leave. Um they'll get the free food and then they leave, which I guess is fine.

[00:08:28]I woke up one morning, I'll tell this story. I was out there and it was one of my first mornings there and I was out on the patio, had my cup of coffee like this, walked through the doorway and I'm kind of tilting my head.

[00:08:45]There was a uh cow's severed head on her sister's patio and I'm like, "Wow, that's um that's interesting." and the girlfriend came out and she said that they were going to make I guess cow's head soup or beef head whatever it was and I'm thinking you know what that actually that sounds actually pretty good and I wanted some but eventually she I don't know why she thought I wouldn't want it so she made me my own dinner but I digress what really blew my mind was that the kids you know six seven eight year olds were out there playing with this head you could see the tongue going out the back of the head and phone and they were playing with it. Mama's like, "You don't wake up to this every day. This is this is interesting." Oh, the ambulance left.

[00:09:33]Okay. No sirens. Good.

[00:09:38]But when you're meeting them the first time, expect to pay for their their little suaree.

[00:09:47]And it's actually not much, but handle everything through the girlfriend or wife or whoever your significant other.

[00:09:56]Hand let her handle everything, but express to her it's a one-time deal.

[00:10:03]And that you'll do it now, but this is not going to happen on a regular basis.

[00:10:09]And I did. We went to the beach. We had that big party there. It was a lot of food. Um that was a few days after the the cow's head thing. They had like 20 people over for that. That was just that was a big thing. But the beach we had we just had her family and it was nice. That was where I was allegedly almost kidnapped from. Um but other than that it was a nice day and that let's see here. So they give you total cost there and this is in the province.

[00:10:44]We had rented a little hut on the beach.

[00:10:47]We had they had made a whole bunch of food, but we also got food at Andox. We got like four chickens, five chickens, uh rotisserie chickens. They're awesome.

[00:10:58]And a whole bunch there was a whole bunch of food there. And the whole day, including the boat trips out there and back, the food, the hut, the drinks, everything, was $80 US for the whole day.

[00:11:15]So, I can't complain. That was not that bad. And it only happened once.

[00:11:20]And I expect it to only happen once.

[00:11:25]Now, with this party, it's actually nice how it's working out because her cousin is graduating with her. So, everything is happening up at her parents' place. So, all I'm bringing is beer and she's bringing a couple little finger foods like lubia and some uh chicken cord on blue and that's my investment into that.

[00:11:50]Everything else is being paid up there.

[00:11:55]It doesn't always happen that way.

[00:11:57]Be aware of it.

[00:12:00]Um, but it is this time. And then I think Monday they leave, her family leaves to go back to Be Cole, which is another trip. And hopefully now see their trip up here, they had a flat tire on the bus and it ended up taking them like 16 or 17 hours to get back. And that blows my mind because in the states when I drove a truck, if you had a blown tire, you called maintenance and they sent somebody out to fix it for you.

[00:12:25]It's not like that here. They fix their own equipment.

[00:12:29]>> They have all the tools, everything.

[00:12:31]They fix it right there on the side of the road. I guess that's good in a way cuz now you're not waiting for road service, but it's bad because imagine being that driver. then you have 10 more hours to drive and you're fixing a tire on the side of the road. You're going to be exhausted, but again, I digress. Kind of going off on different tabs here and I apologize.

[00:12:57]Um, so yeah, when you're coming here to Philippines, just be aware of those things. Be aware of the little hand gesture thing to the forehead.

[00:13:04]Be aware that there is depending on the family, there is some toxic traits when it comes to the elders. I'm lucky where it's not as prevalent as in other families.

[00:13:16]And be aware the first time you meet your family and their family and you have a get together, chances are you're paying for it.

[00:13:26]And that's fine, like I said, but let the significant other, girlfriend, wife, whoever know that it's a one-time deal.

[00:13:34]And this family has understood that.

[00:13:36]They don't they actually don't like me paying for a whole lot cuz they the dad feels guilty. Um he generally feels bad.

[00:13:46]We offered him to stay here but like I said he ended up getting drunk last night up the road at his brother's house.

[00:13:55]He hasn't seen his brother in many years. So they ended up sleeping up there and it worked out fine.

[00:14:03]So yeah, just be aware of that. Be aware of the family dynamics. Be aware you'll pay the very first time you meet them.

[00:14:10]And uh just enjoy yourself when you're with them.

[00:14:14]A lot of times, at least my experience with with the girlfriend's family is they're very generous and very very giving. Um they're interested in knowing your at least their her family is interested in knowing like our customs and all that when it comes to things like that. And her family is very well politically connected where they're from. Uh, I was there drinking with the mayor of the town. Her sister's a local treasurer and they have connections. Her sister's running for local office there now.

[00:14:43]So, and they just had a bunch of people over and it was a fun time. They had karaoke and it's a fun time. When they party, they know how to party here, trust me. So, and I'm looking forward to that. That'll be this Saturday uh at their family's place up the road.

[00:14:59]rain or shine. So, okay everybody, I hope everybody has a good day. And uh people in the states, when you see this, it'll be Memorial Day. Have a blessed Memorial Day. And uh enjoy the hot dogs and hamburgers and just don't forget uh who isn't there, if you know what I mean.

[00:15:25]Have a good day and check you in the next video.