CU#192: Marisa is severely cachexic. I suspect she doesn't have long left.

Added: 2026-05-25

[00:00:02]Hello and welcome to this uh cancer update. Uh I'll start out by saying that I've got the flu at the moment. I'm quite unwell and that's why I'm making this uh video from my bed in what is evidently quite an unflattering angle.

[00:00:19]Um but luckily I'm used to battling when I'm not feeling all that well. Um, and as you're about to find out, today is uh a day to battle. I have updates on the situation with Marissa.

[00:00:35]The situation with the family has uh calmed down now to the point where I can unhide that previous video and um I can talk about her openly. Uh that's the good news. Uh all the rest of it, well there's one more bit of good news, but most of the rest of the news is really bad. So the update is she made it to St. George Hospital in Sydney.

[00:01:03]Prof Morris did put her on the operating table. Uh when he opened her up, he made the determination that uh the cancer was inoperable. It was uh far too advanced.

[00:01:17]and uh removing the cancer was effectively incompatible with life. So they did fix what was at that time a small bowel obstruction and they've done that by uh giving Marissa it's I'm pretty sure it's an ilostomy not a colostomy. Um so they've bypassed pretty much all of her large intestine and she now has a stor with an ilostomy bag.

[00:01:47]Uh Marissa then had a complication with her stomach and she was given a gastro gastrotomy uh device which basically um from what I from what I've seen it looks like it it empties out the the base of her stomach. So she's basically got one exit from the end of her small intestines and another exit from the end of her stomach and the stomach one has got a little uh butterfly valve where she can either uh close it so that food will then pass into her diodinum at the top of her small intestines or she can open it and directly vent out uh the contents of her stomach. [snorts] We'll get to that a little bit later.

[00:02:41]Uh, so she would have died probably a couple of weeks ago from a small bowel obstruction had it not been for that operation.

[00:02:52]Uh, as of as of yesterday, I haven't checked this morning, but as of as of yesterday, she is still alive. Uh, but hang on, let me let me let me go in order. Um, so she had the operation.

[00:03:06]They gave her those um two ports out of out of her stomach. Uh three members of the care team uh from this channel visited her in person. And you three are absolute angels. Um I I won't name you by name in case for whatever reason you want to stay uh anonymous, but the three of you know who you are. And if you want to identify yourself in the comments, then um you've got the agency to do that. that that's up to you. I I will without further notice, I'll assume that you want to want to stay uh anonymous.

[00:03:42]And there was a fourth person from our care team that did put her hand up to go and visit Marissa, but um didn't get the chance to. So, there were three of the care team that did visit uh and a fourth one that that want made themselves available but didn't make it. Thank you to the four of you. Um, I'm I'm so pleased that I was able to um facilitate that and thank you to you for coming through and and being an amazing care team uh for me and for Marissa by going by going and doing that.

[00:04:14]Now, the next part of the story is and and I don't have the exact details, but about a week ago um so today's the 25th, so a week ago would have been the 18th.

[00:04:26]So maybe around the 16th 17th of May, Marissa was discharged from hospital and got on a Virgin Australia flight from Sydney back to Perth. The exact mechanism by which she was discharged is unclear to me. I don't know whether she self-discharged or was discharged by the hospital. I I I have a certain feeling for which one of those two probably happened, but I I I don't know. And actually, it doesn't really matter. Uh the point is that she she got discharged from the hospital. She got herself onto a Virgin Australia flight and got herself back to Perth.

[00:05:08]her daughter. Um, so her daughter is 11 11 years old and I've spoken with her and she described to me that the cabin uh crew on that Virgin flight, one of one of the cabin crew sat next to Marissa for basically the whole flight from Sydney to Perth and just gently stroked the back of her hand uh because Marissa was uh very unwell during that that flight. And it it sounds like um she was quite unwell uh during during that flight. If you work for Virgin Australia and um you you were part of that crew, I just want to say thank you so much. Uh you went well above and beyond what what I would have thought is standard required for a uh cabin crew. and it was definitely noticed by the family and was definitely noticed by Marissa. So, thank you very much. If I can get your details, I will write a letter of commendation to uh to uh whoever you report to uh and and I would actually quite like to do that.

[00:06:16]So, if you can get in contact then then um then then do I I'll find out the flight the flight date. So, um we'll be able to work out who the crew was from the flight date. Anyway, it was a Virgin Australia flight uh from Sydney to Perth and it would have been roughly uh the 17th or 18th of May. [snorts] So, Marissa got back to Perth. Um she's staying at uh her father's [snorts] house or or well, yeah, I think her father's house uh in a suburb in the south of Perth.

[00:06:53]I went and visited her two days ago on the Saturday and uh Marissa is severely ketchic. Um ketchic is a medical term basically meaning muscle wasting. Uh you you can pretty much put your hands around. So about that much is the diameter of her upper arms. She is a a skin and bone skeleton at this point.

[00:07:24]uh you know may maybe I won't describe the the next bit. It's it's she was she was a walking skeleton and she's very clearly not got long to live.

[00:07:38]Um cachexic people typically uh die of heart failure. [snorts] If if you if you if you can imagine someone that that is severely uh let's say malnourished, you you've probably seen people that have that have uh that are walking skin and bones from being malnourished. Uh and their b their muscles have just wasted away. And you have to remember that the heart is just a muscle. So, if you've lost two/irds of your muscle mass out of, you know, your your upper arms, which is what I saw on Marissa's her upper arms, uh you've also lost two/irds of the muscle mass of your heart, and eventually your heart will be unable to pump the blood around your body, and you will die of heart failure. [snorts] So, you can imagine how alarmed I was when I found out that yesterday uh Marissa was rushed to hospital uh because she was um fainting.

[00:08:41]And of course, fainting is caused by low blood pressure. So, uh Marissa's heart is uh on on the way to failure.

[00:08:51][snorts] But the good news is she's now in in hospital. She's in Fiona Stanley Hospital which is uh in the southern southern part of metro area Perth.

[00:09:04]I wish I could go and visit her today but as you can tell I've I've got a flu um and and I must not go near her today in in this state which is unfortunate because what I want to do today is get her rare cancers Australia donation page set up. [snorts] the uh paperwork for that does require her signature and a signature of um a a loved one that she financially trusts.

[00:09:34]And as it turns out, someone that her someone that she trusts is going to be with her at the hospital today. So, it's actually an ideal time to go down there and get both signatures and visit her. But I I can't with with this flu that this could easily kill her easily.

[00:09:55]Uh so I won't be doing that. But I'll I'll work from bed today and and just see if I can get uh p paperwork done to get the um the donation page set up [snorts] to talk about some practicalities here.

[00:10:12]Um, I was able to have a very bare, very honest chat with um, Marissa 2 days ago and uh, I can assure you she has run out of money and she does not I specifically asked her, "Do you have the money for your funeral?" which was a very hard question to ask and I'm sure a very hard question to answer and she said no. So, uh I'm going to make sure that that she gets the money for that funeral [snorts] and I I unfortunately think she's going to need it fairly soon. So, um I'm I'm going to work out how to do that. Uh hope hopefully I can do it through her cancer page in her name and um we all just donate money to to her and that is used for her end of life expenses. Um I've toyed with the idea of using my own [snorts] rare rare cancer page and and asking you guys to donate to that and then I can forward that money on to her. I'm I'm not really comfortable with that. Um, as you know from previous chats on this topic, I'm really funny about money and I don't want to be in a I don't want to spend the rest of my life wondering when someone donates on my page, is this for my for me or is this for what will then be Marissa's children? Uh, so I'm going to try and do it on her page rather than using my page as a proxy.

[00:12:00]So that's where we're at. Um, that's where we're at. I uh I think that's all I've got to say at this point. Um, you know, cancer sucks.

[00:12:13]It It just sucks.

[00:12:15]Uh, and and all I can do at this point is, uh, advocate for Marissa and advocate for her three children.

[00:12:26]She's 37 years old and she's got three children. Uh the children are 17, 16, and 11.

[00:12:34]I met the 11-year-old two days ago and uh she completely understands what's going on and uh she she is affected by it and um was was was relatively quiet and uh that it's the quiet ones you need to watch out for. So, I'll um yeah, I I'll keep an eye on on her and make sure that I'll just do what I can. That's all I can do. I'll do what I can.

[00:13:10]So, that's where we're at. Um yeah, I'll I'll I'll no doubt be updating you in in a day or two. [snorts] And uh yeah, look, stay in touch. Okay.

[00:13:25]Thanks, guys. See you.