Does Robin Scherbatsky Sabotage Her Relationships? | How I Met Your Mother [CC]

[00:00:00]If you’d told me that Robin dating Barney would  have been the moment of clarity for me where her pattern of self-sabotage in her relationships  would become crystal clear, I probably would have doubted you and laughed it off. But alas, How I  Met Your Mother Season 5 episode 3 titled: Robin 101, had me reconsidering a lot of what I hadn’t  previously put together as it pertains to Robin’s relationships, and how and why she holds back. [Intro] Now before we address the various ways in which  Robin has self-sabotaged her relationships since the very first season, let’s kick things off  with some introductions, just in case this is your first time finding my channel or stumbling  onto this series of mine. Hello. I’m Noria, and welcome to my How I Met Your Mother video series  where I’m currently documenting my first time ever watch of the show, whilst sharing my thoughts as  I go along, in a stream of consciousness style analysis, where I talk about these characters and  their choices, try to analyze their behaviour and make guesses about how events might play off  in the future, based off my thoughts on how the story is progressing and what I learn about  these characters with every new episode I watch.

[00:01:20]As such, I will like to reiterate that this  really IS my first time watching the show, and I’ve so far been able to stay away from all  discussions as it pertains to How I Met Your Mother and its characters, so what you are in fact  getting, really is a blind reaction of a series that finished airing years ago. And from what I’ve  been able to gather, y’all have enjoyed watching me take in this show and the characters, as I  guess my way in the dark about how things might play out or have played out, and as such, I would  like to ask that you please continue to ABSTAIN from dropping ANY spoilers in the comments. I  appreciate the work y’all have put in so far in keeping things spoiler-free for me. Thank you!! If you do want to say something that addresses a point I made but which veers into spoiler  territory, just give the spoilers ahead warning, followed by a bunch of asterisk so I don’t  accidentally get spoiled whilst scrolling by, and so I can ignore the comment, whilst other  subscribers or non-subscribers who are watching my video, can interact with your comment, and y’all  can chat about how right or wrong I am and what I successfully noticed or didn’t notice. And for those who are keeping track, I’ve currently watched up to How I Met  Your Mother Season 5 episode 3. Plus, if this your first time stumbling on one of these  videos, kindly note that I do have a format where I split the video into three parts: the intro, the  synopsis and then finally my thoughts. As such, I have included timestamps to help you  navigate the video as you so choose.

[00:02:55]But before I get into the synopsis part of the  video, I will like to say a big thank you to my lovely Patreons and Youtube members whose support  have been instrumental in helping me continue to make content, especially since I started doing  this full time, at the start of last year, which was the last time I was in paid employment.  And a special shout-out to Lina, Sherri, Kat, and Holly for their extra support.  You get all the hearts and kisses too.

[00:03:19]If you too would like to support me on Patreon or  become a Youtube member to enjoy certain perks, even get a shoutout, the link  to do so in the description bar.

[00:03:29]Now with that all said and done, How I Met Your  Mother, Season 5 episode 3, titled Robin 101 starts with Robin sharing her woes to Lily about  her new relationship with Barney. It seems that Barney who’s spent forever being single, is having  an adjustment problem, being in a relationship: namely…. he doesn’t actually know how to do so. For example, Robin who gets back home from work and needs a listening ear that she can vent to  about said work problems, find Barney instead pushing that onto Lily whilst he bails because  it just doesn’t occur to him that Robin wants to talk. Robin at this point is getting increasingly  frustrated and tells Lily that should Barney not change, she just might break up with him. Ted in turn goes to meet Barney at McLaren’s to let him know that he is about to lose Robin  if he doesn’t learn to be a more sensitive boyfriend. Barney scoffs at this because it’s not  his style and storms away, claiming that it’s way too much trouble, only for him to immediately  come right back around to chat with Ted.

[00:04:38]The results of this leads to Barney  having a drastic behavioral change which Robin immediately notices. He’s  more attentive; he’s sending her flowers, he basically becomes the dream ideal man and Robin  is immediately suspicious. Her suspicions are then confirmed when she finds out that all this time  that Barney has claimed that he’s working late, he hasn’t actually wasn’t in the office and  she’s convinced that Barney is cheating on her.

[00:05:08]To get proof, she breaks into his briefcase,  only to find a notebook filled with information about her. A confused Robin has no idea what  this means, but thankfully Marshall is there, and he immediately caves and admits that the  notebook is from a class Ted’s been teaching Barney called: Robin 101. Ie Ted’s been inputing  all the information he’s gleaned from his year of dating Robin. This includes information  like how to distract her from an argument; how to AVOID an argument; the things to look out  for before she explodes, her erogenous zones, etc. Hell, Ted even brings up Robin’s problems with  saying “I love you” and the one way to tell if she’s fond of you is if she smiles and calls you  an idiot. There’s also bits in the notebook that alludes to Robin constant chase for affirmation  is rooted in the fact that she’s desperate for say affirmation and recognition from her father.  All she wants to hear is that he’s proud of her.

[00:06:08]Robin who is PISSED that Ted and Barney have  basically reduced her to a bunch of bullet points on a notebook heads to Ted’s classroom  where he’s holding the Robin 101 classes.

[00:06:21]Robin storms in, angry as hell, and Barney  immediately puts the information gleaned to use to try and distract her. It works for a bit  but then she points out how big of an invasion of her privacy the entire class scheme is; plus she  admits t thinking that Barney was cheating on her, and now that she thinks about it, he technically  is, what with him cheating on getting to know her, by instead fast tracking his way by gaining  information from Ted, when this should be something he’s meant to learn about her on  his own. After saying this, Robin storms out.

[00:06:54]Ted finally meets Robin at McLaren’s and  apologizes for having divulged so much of her personal information. He tells her that  they’d dated for quite a while and to him, he felt that rather than have all that  information go to use, he could instead give it to Barney who he tells Robin is desperate  to have his relationship with her work. Barney is invested in trying to make her happy. Robin finally forgives Ted and admits to being touched that Ted remembered so much  about her, from their time together. She finally leaves McLaren’s and runs into Barney at  the steps leading to the apartment. He immediately apologizes and tosses away the notebook on to the  top of Mabel, Marshall’s beloved barrel which has sat in the apartment for years, but which  FINALLY Marshall put outside the apartment building in the area known as the Bermuda Triangle  where everything disappears [ie the front of the apartment where the tenants put out furniture and  things that they toss away that others can claim if they want]. Usually items placed in the Bermuda  Triangle disappear practically instantaneously.

[00:07:59]Unfortunately, Mabel has been sitting outside the  apartment for a while now, and clearly NOBODY is interested in picking her up. And so it’s on  top Mabel that Barney tosses the notebook, as he admits to Robin that the only reason  why he’s done what he did is because he was afraid that she was going to dump him. Robin smiles and calls him an idiot as she leans in and kisses him. Afterwards she points out that  the notebook has way too many personal information about her and it would be disastrous for it  to land in the hands of other people. Barney turns around to grab back the notebook only for  them to find the notebook missing. But Mabel the barrel is still very much present on the curb. We then see that days later, Ted is giving a presentation to his architecture students and  when the slideshow moves to the next slide, instead of showing the Flat Iron building,  the students are instead greeted by a picture of Robin who’s grinning as she drinks from  a beer bottle whilst sitting on a toilet, to the delight of Ted’s students. THE END.

[00:09:03]As I progress further into How I Met Your Mother;  it’s becoming increasingly clear that a lot of these characters operate within certain parameters  that I think are better looked as patterned behaviours. We see it a lot with Ted, which is why  I am firmly of the opinion that he’s more obsessed with the idea of being in love than he is actually  in love with the many women we’ve seen him date so far. We see it with Barney who clearly uses  his veneer of being a sex fiend to hide his fear of rejection [which if anyone wants me to make a  video on that, please let me know in the comments so I can add it in my notes to remember to film  my thoughts on it]. And we see it with Robin, whose amidst the relationships we’ve  seen her have on screen so far, clearly has a strong fear of emotional commitment.  Something that comes into clear focus, at least it does for me, when she starts dating Barney. And I know. Someone is about to drop a comment about it not being that deep, since this is a  sitcom and in most sitcoms, the rules of the writing requires characters to repeat certain  traits in order to keep the story progressing, and whilst that may be the case, I do like to  posit that eventually, over a certain number of years, most sitcom writers do end up committing  to their characters eventual evolution and growth since it becomes quite boring over time to have  certain character be basically the same characters they’ve always been, over a long period of time. When we instead find said characters repeating patterned behaviour within a sitcom, it’s  often a purposeful choice in order to define those characters along those parameters. I’m  only saying this because I have gotten some of those “it’s just a sitcom, you’re reading way  too much into it” comments, and I will like to emphasize that sometimes we ARE meant to read  meaning into said characters and circumstances, and the same can be said to apply to Robin. Who in this case, like I state in the title of this video, I do believe she’s written to  self-sabotage her romantic relationships. Now, does that mean that I’m walking back on my  previous statements that some of this writing, aims to punish her for not choosing Ted? Nope.  I still believe that; that narratively speaking, some of the latter relationships we see her have  after Ted, does read that way. *cough. Naked man Mitch in her apartment*. Ewww. And of course  we can’t forget the mess that is what she had with PJ of Mosbius Designs! I already  have multiple videos talking about this.

[00:11:34]You can check them out in my How I Met Your  Mother playlist if you haven’t seen them yet.

[00:11:39]But, back to my previous statement. Yes, I do  believe that Robin is written to sabotage her romantic relationships. If this happened once or  twice, I could say it was an accident, but we have MULTIPLE cases that back up this claim. We see it  happen with Mike, from the Slutty Pumpkin episode.

[00:11:58]A man she’s been dating for a while and who is  very clearly into Robin. I know instinctively, some viewers might read Mike as having come  on too strong, but I do think that it was depicted that way in order to show things  from Robin’s perspective. It wasn’t that Mike was doing too much; it was that Robin  wasn’t into that. Mike’s behaviour if we pay any attention to Lily’s conversation with  Robin, is something that couples tend to do, and actually enjoy. Dressing up as a couple for  a Halloween party; sharing each other’s meals.

[00:12:33]The episode holds up Lily and Marshall as a  foil to Robin and Mike in order to show us how vastly different Robin’s reaction is. Mike  by all accounts seems like a pretty decent guy who clearly likes her, but Robin doesn’t feel  the same. She isn’t into the couple-y Halloween stuff. She initially doesn’t even notice that  she is actively unwilling to share her food with him. When Lily points it out, Robin insists  that it isn’t purposeful on her part and that she can totally share with Mike. But when the dessert arrives, this attempt by Robin fails and she’s  unable to share her sundae with Mike.

[00:13:07]Mike eventually gets the memo and although  Robin tries to talk her way into him staying, he insists that he really doesn’t think she’s into  him and walks away. And honestly, she couldn’t even share a dessert with him. He was right. Mike is our very first on-screen introduction to a man that Robin is seriously dating  over a prolonged period of time, and what we see is a Robin who’d put up walls between  herself and Mike. Mike might be willing to commit to see where their relationship could  possibly lead, but Robin isn’t as invested, and is clearly holding back. Even though by all  accounts, Mike seems like a pretty decent catch.

[00:13:46]And if this had only happened with Mike, maybe  it would be easy to ignore, but then there’s Derek. Derek the multimillionaire who has so  much money that the gang like to jokingly call him a billionaire, even though he isn’t.  Derek who is young, handsome, successful, rich as hell and totally into Robin. Derek who  the first time he’s introduced to us off-screen, the gang are curious about what he actually wants  since he’s on a whole other level and can to them, or to Barney at least, get women that  are several times hotter than Robin.

[00:14:19]And yet, Robin is who he wants. Robin is  the one he takes to the $1,500 a plate fundraiser. Robin is the one who, he abandons  an important work meeting in Connecticut for, so he can drive all the way to New York and  spend welcome in the New Year with her. I know Derek doesn’t really get as much screen time  but the little that we do get to see of him, he’s quite the catch. Hell, even future Ted  can’t help himself. When he mentions the guy, he can’t keep the jealousy out of his tone. And yet even with all of that, Robin’s relationship with Derek goes the way of  the ones that came before and afterwards.

[00:14:59]She breaks up with him eventually. Yes, part of  that is because she’s caught feelings for Ted, but it’s also because even prior to that, we can  read it from her body language; her promise to gift the New Year’s kiss to Ted instead of her  boyfriend; even if she thought said boyfriend wasn’t going to join them; Derek eventually  shows up, and yet, Robin still maintains her promise to Ted and doesn’t kiss Derek. No matter what she tries to say, it is quite clear that just as with Mike, Robin really  wasn’t interested, and lets go of an incredible guy for a chance to be with Ted. Except of course  as we all know, this is the point when Ted meets Victoria and all of Robin’s plans go up in smoke.  Up until Victoria travels to Germany of course and Ted can’t handle the long distance and has the  moment of emotional and almost physical cheating with Robin that leads to Victoria breaking up  with him, and he and Robin finally get together.

[00:15:52]And that’s where things get interesting for me,  in a way that further highlights just how Robin tends to self-sabotage her relationships. Because  to anyone else, Derek would be quite the prize, and one would even assume that based off  his character and treatment of Robin, he and her most likely what the same thing:  to focus on their careers, whilst being in a relationship. Marriage and kids aren’t really  a priority for him, especially when contrasted against someone like Ted who’s so fixated on  finding “the one” and the happy ever after life he’s meant to enjoy after getting together with  said one; ie marriage, kids, the whole nine yards.

[00:16:30]I know I say a lot in videos that Robin makes it  pretty damn clear from the start of hers and Ted’s relationships that she really isn’t prioritizing  marriage and kids for herself at that moment; her career is paramount for her, and that Ted  holds some responsibility in not actually paying attention to what Robin says she wants and  so he can’t really blame her for reaffirming that when they finally have that moment at the  restaurant that was the venue of their first date, and where they eventually broke up  because of their unaligned views.

[00:17:02]Whilst I think that Ted holds some responsibility  for not really listening to and considering what Robin actually wants, we can say at the same time  that Robin herself, doesn’t really consider what Ted wants either. She gave up what would have been  the ideal relationship at that point in time for her, with someone who was aligned with what she  wanted and vice versa, and chose Ted instead, the man who wanted something completely different  because of what she felt for him, which at a latter point she eventually had to walk away from. Hell, I’ve said this since the very start of season 2 that Robin and Ted’s relationship was  doomed from the start because they wanted vastly different things; that in itself was also an act  of self-sabotage whereby Robin willingly entered a relationship that had no future and for which  she sacrificed her previous relationship for.

[00:17:54]And no, I’m not going to count things  with Gael as being part of Robin’s self-sabotaging her relationships because  I’m firmly in the camp that if we’re dating, you inviting complete strangers into my home where  they proceed to start drumming loudly at odd hours of the morning cuz y’all are high and catching  inspiration…. is grounds for me dumping your ass with a quickness. Even if you have the face  and singing voice of Enrique Inglesias. Gods he was really hot in those two scenes that we got to  see him in. But nah. His fine ass doesn’t negate the bullshit he brought with him. Sorry. And of course we can’t forget Bob from the Slapsigivng episode who yes, Robin didn’t date  for long, but was also a pretty decent guy that she ended up cheating on with Ted, even though she  and Ted had agreed that they want different things out of their relationships. Others might read  Robin’s time with Bob as just a blip; and yes, the Slapsgiving episode did reinforce my belief that  Robin and Ted’s relationship was never really one where they served as friends, at least compared to  the rest of the McLaren 5. Theirs was more desire and we had very few moments in the show up until  that point where we could see Ted actually being a friend to Robin. It was mostly attraction. And it’s this same attraction that saw her relationship with Bob go up in smoke.  And before anyone says that well, Bob was acting like a teenager in the body  of a 41 year old and didn’t have a serious “career”…. Robin did date him long enough  for the two of them to be in a relationship.

[00:19:28]And she gives that all up once again because  she’s still working through her feelings for Ted.

[00:19:34]And then there’s Barney. Which like I said at  the start of the video; was the relationship for me that really cemented the thought of Robin’s  self-sabotaging her relationship especially as things play out in Season 5 episode 3, titled  Robin 101. We see clearly that Robin who is upset that Barney seems to still be stuck in  the mindset of being alone and not being in a relationship is having trouble adjusting, hence he  doesn’t actually do the typical boyfriend stuff: ie listening to Robin when she comes to  him, being present for her as a boyfriend, etc. She immediately tells Lily  that she plans to break up with him.

[00:20:09]It’s funny because on one hand Barney  isn’t acting like he’s in a relationship; but at the same time, Robin doesn’t actually  address this with him either. She doesn’t state what’s on her mind and what’s bothering her,  and instead immediately defaults to wanting to break up with him. That was already the first  sign, of Robin immediately making plans to end her relationship at the first sign of trouble.  She’s immediately looking for a way to pull out; a way to avoid committing all the way. And then word gets to Barney and next thing he’s acting like the perfect boyfriend. He  listens; he sends her flowers, he’s ticking all the boxes of what she likes and Robin immediately  responds with suspicion and a belief that the ONLY reason why Barney could possibly be acting the way  he is is because he’s cheating on her. I need that to sink in for a moment that Robin’s default  response to her boyfriend treating her well, isn’t that he had a change of heart or that maybe  he’s finally figured out what he’s done wrong. No she believes that his actions are suspicious,  hence why when she gets confirmation that he hasn’t been in the office even though he’s been  claiming that he works late, she rushes to the thought that he’s been cheating on her. Because to her that’s a safer thought; something that she can handle better than the  onslaught of emotions that would hit should it be a case of Barney really going out of his  way to be there for her, to commit to her; to care for her to that extent. I think just as  thoughts of marriage and commitment with Ted sent her running, and also her aversion to saying the  words “I love you”, all of this can be linked to Robin’s fear of commitment and vulnerability.  She’s always had to hold a bit of herself back.

[00:21:57]We can trace it most likely to the trauma of  her upbringing; a father who so desperately wanted a son that he raised Robin as a son,  only to gift her with his disappointment and disdain when she started acting like a girl,  with the feelings to match. That was probably Robin’s first taste of someone she loves and  is devoted to, throwing that same love and devotion in her face because she wasn’t able  to be the person that he wanted her to be.

[00:22:24]And so one could say that that thus found its way,  bled actually, into her relationships afterwards.

[00:22:31]Robin learned to hold a bit of herself back.  And for her to be able to do that successfully, she needs to know what she’s working with; to  NOT have to deal with unexpected surprises.

[00:22:43]Because surprises will put her on her left  foot, will have her falling deeper than what she planned or expects, and thus  creates the avenue for her to be hurt.

[00:22:54]Barney’s behavioral change therefore pushes her  to a state of panic because he’s acting different from what she expects and that difference is  one that she isn’t ready to deal with. I think when we look back at all her relationships, Robin  always pulls back when it gets to the point where her partners change the rules of the game, when  they seem to be reaching the point where they’re asking for more/acting in a way that’s different  from what she’d initially set out for. Whether it’s Mike or Derek or Ted and now Barney. And honestly, I might be wrong but I do wonder if that isn’t what is going to lead to  her and Barney breaking up eventually. Cuz they both are currently at a point in their lives  where I don’t see them, at least as at season 5 being together for a long period of time. I’m  waiting to see what will tip the scale and send Robin running because she eventually will. That’s  her MO. Until she learns and grows beyond that; that’s what I see happening with her. But maybe that’s just me. Maybe I’m reading too much into things. But either way, these  are all just my thoughts. I would as always, love to hear yours, whether or not  you agree with me. Please share them in the comments. Like this video however, if  you’ve watched this far and haven’t done so, but enjoyed anything of what I had to say. Share  it so others can find my channel as well. Or you can check out my gaming or ASMR channels, if they  sound like something you might be interested in.

[00:24:30]I have them both linked in the description. I'll  see you on Monday with a new video. Until then, do remember… Obsessing over the things you  love? Perfectly. Valid. Coping. Mechanism.