I Didn’t Realize How Much America Changed Me | Returning to England After 35 Years

Added: 2026-06-02

[00:00:30]Hello and welcome to the cottage. I've been back in England now for a few months after spending 35 years living in America.

[00:00:41]And one thing I found myself thinking about a lot lately is how many things had become completely normal to me there that now feel slightly different when I look at them from the outside.

[00:00:57]Not better, not worse, they're just different.

[00:01:03]I think when you live somewhere for that long, you stop seeing it clearly because it simply becomes life. And America became normal to me.

[00:01:16]So now I'll notice something here and have this strange moment where I think, "Oh, I'd forgotten about that."

[00:01:24]And often it's not big things, it's little things like everyday things.

[00:01:32]The things you don't even realize you've adapted to until you actually step away from them.

[00:01:53]One of the first things I noticed after moving back was how quiet everything feels. And you know, I'm not just talking about actual noise. I think that life feels quieter somehow. There's less advertising.

[00:02:12]There's less stimulation.

[00:02:15]There's less of that feeling that somebody is constantly trying to sell you something.

[00:02:23]The other day, a pharmaceutical commercial came on before a video I was watching online, and it genuinely caught my attention because I'd forgotten how common they are in America. Because when you live there, you don't question it.

[00:02:41]It's just part of everyday life.

[00:02:45]But now that I'm outside of it, it feels surprisingly strange. And I think that's been the theme of this move. Really, realizing how many things had become invisible to me.

[00:03:14]And food is another thing that I've noticed. I've actually lost weight since moving back and I wasn't even trying to.

[00:03:21]Uh there's been no diet. I'm not calorie counting, nothing. And I kept wondering why because I certainly haven't been depriving myself. If anything, I've probably eaten more pastries, more crisps, more goodies since moving back.

[00:03:40]But I I think part of it is simply that portions are smaller. They're not tiny.

[00:03:47]They're just smaller than what I'd become used to.

[00:03:51]There's not enough food for you to take home for your lunch the next day.

[00:03:56]There's just enough.

[00:03:59]And it's funny because when I first moved back, I remember looking at some of these meals and thinking they seemed quite small. But now when I see American portions online, they genuinely look enormous.

[00:04:16]And it's amazing how quickly your idea of normal changes.

[00:04:32]And then there's the walking. I walk everywhere now to the shops, to the pharmacy, into town.

[00:04:42]And obviously this depends entirely on where you live because there are many places in England where you'd absolutely need a car. But where I live now, movement is simply built into my daily life. Even carrying shopping home feels different. In America, I was so used to driving everywhere that I never really thought about it.

[00:05:07]Now, I find myself walking through town.

[00:05:11]I'm carrying a bag of groceries and somehow it feels I don't know, it feels more connected to everyday life.

[00:05:21]And maybe that sounds odd, but I think when you're walking, you notice things.

[00:05:28]You notice the flowers in somebody's garden. You notice the old buildings.

[00:05:33]You notice the seasons changing.

[00:05:37]You're part of your surroundings rather than just passing through them.

[00:05:54]Another thing I've noticed since moving back is the relationship that people seem to have with time. And I think this is a huge generalization. Obviously, every person is different. Everybody's life is different. But there does seem to be more emphasis on life outside of work. People take holidays. People spend entire afternoons sitting in the gardens. Um, people go for walks for no reason other than just that they enjoy walking. And I don't know, maybe that sounds ridiculous, but I genuinely think I'd forgotten how to do that. Or maybe I'd started feeling like rest had to be earned, like I needed to finish one more thing before I could relax. One more task, one more email, one more thing on my list.

[00:06:55]And I don't think I realized how deeply I'd absorbed that way of thinking until I left.

[00:07:18]Honestly, it's moments like this that remind me how different England feels.

[00:07:25]History isn't really something you visit here. It's just woven into the everyday life. You turn a corner and suddenly there's a beautiful old building in front of you.

[00:08:20]Healthcare is another thing I didn't fully appreciate until I moved back.

[00:08:27]When I lived in America, worrying about health care costs is it's simply part of life.

[00:08:36]It's not necessarily that you worry about it every day, but it is always there somewhere in the background.

[00:08:44]What if something happens? What if insurance doesn't cover it? What if I need an ambulance?

[00:08:51]You get used to carrying those thoughts around.

[00:08:55]And because you get used to them, you actually stop noticing them. It's only now being outside of that system that I realize how much mental space it occupied.

[00:09:12]And the same is true in a different way when it comes to safety.

[00:09:20]And I want to be really careful talking about this because America was my home for most of my adult life. I love America and I'm also an American citizen. So, this isn't criticism. It's simply something I've noticed.

[00:09:41]A few weeks ago, I was sitting in the cottage and I heard a loud bang outside and my immediate reaction was that it must be gunfire.

[00:09:53]And then half a second later, my brain corrected itself.

[00:10:00]It was probably a car backfiring, nothing more.

[00:10:05]But that reaction stayed with me afterwards because I realized it had become automatic.

[00:10:14]And that's not because I spent my life feeling afraid, because I certainly didn't. But when something exists in the background of society long enough, your nervous system adapts to it, whether you are consciously thinking about it or not.

[00:10:33]And moving back here has made me realize how many things I'd adapted to without even noticing.

[00:10:43]And what's funny is that moving back to England hasn't made me feel more English. If anything, it's made me realize how American I've become because I notice myself feeling a little impatient or feeling guilty if I'm sitting still or thinking I should always be getting something done.

[00:11:10]And then I look around and I see people sitting out in their backyards enjoying a Sunday afternoon.

[00:11:18]And I think maybe there's something to be learned from that.

[00:11:33]I don't think that one country is better than the other. Hand on heart, I don't.

[00:11:41]There are things I love about America and things I miss. And there are things that I love about being back here, too.

[00:11:50]What this move has taught me more than anything is how deeply the places we live shape us, often in ways we don't even notice until we leave.

[00:12:02]And maybe that's what this chapter of life has really been about. Seeing both countries with fresh eyes for the first time.