Mother’s Day isn’t enough. We need matriarchy.

Added: 2026-05-11

[00:00:00]I've been thinking a lot about this and I think it's time we retire Mother's Day or at the very least we need an upgrade.

[00:00:06]I think Mother's Day needs to become Matriarchy Day. And here's why. Mother's Day as it exists, it's well-intentioned, but it's deeply problematic. And for many people, it's actually a day of profound grief. Many people on Mother's Day are grieving their mothers. Many are estranged from their mothers, estranged from their children. Many people are grieving the mother they didn't get to have. Many are grieving that they are not able to become mothers. And many mothers are grieving their children. My personal beef with Mother's Day and motherhood is one that I've been carrying for 15 years. The entire time that I've been a mother. Every year on this day, we glorify this very specific ideal of motherhood that is not only unrealistic, but it completely bypasses the support we need that we're not getting. We are glorified. We are sainted. And the culture speaks of mothers as though we are selfless and we are endlessly giving and we are expected to be. And that's not only unrealistic, that's dangerous and that's damaging to mothers who already bear the weight of the world on our backs. The expectation and demand on mothers is that we are selfless and nurturing. We sacrifice everything with a smile. We hold everyone's pain. We dry everyone's tear.

[00:01:22]We solve all the problems. We schedule everything. We feed everyone forever. We clean everything. We make things look beautiful. We make the holidays sparkle.

[00:01:31]We create all the happy memories. We're in charge of everything. All of it. All the time. And they tell us that it's our nature that we should naturally be good at all of it because you're a mother and it's what you're supposed to do. And then once a year we get a bunch of flowers and a brunch and we call it good while the rest of the year the world continues to rest on our backs, on our labor. This is not reverence or gratitude for mothers. That's indentured servitude. If we actually valued the contribution of mothers, if we actually valued child rearing and caretaking across all the generations, we would not have created a society that places all of it on their backs, expecting so much of them and giving so little. And we give mothers and women so little at every stage, at every turn. All the while, our villages are shrinking and we're expected to do it alone. All the while, our societal supports are shrinking. Our bodies, our culture is being legislated against. And we're supposed to just smile. Happy Mother's Day. No. No. We don't need a glorified caricature. We don't need to fetishize mothers. We don't need whatever it is they're offering. We need matriarchy.

[00:02:48]Now, we need a society that is oriented around caretaking. We need a society where all members of society contribute to the caretaking of all members of the society. We need a society that honors not just women and mothers but children, elders, people at all stages of life.

[00:03:09]where nurturing is a given and where the labor, emotional, physical, mental labor that it takes to nurture, to caretake is shared by the tribe. In a matriarchal society, we would have no need to grieve everything that comes up to be grieved on Mother's Day. We wouldn't have insufficient mothers that we grieve because we would have a village. We wouldn't grieve the inability to have children because we would be intimately involved in the caretaking of all the children in the society. And although the bitterness of grief of loss is sharp and nothing can replace that, we wouldn't be left to grieve alone. We would have these societies where we nurture each other no matter what the burden is. Like so many wounds that we carry and we pretend that they're personal. It's just us. It's just our burden. This one isn't. This one is a societal problem. It's a structural problem. The way our society is structured is a problem for all of us.

[00:04:10]And the burden of those problems are being lifted by the individual. And we're told it's our fault. If you're failing at motherhood, if you are struggling today, it is not your fault.

[00:04:23]This is a societal problem. And the rise of the divine feminine is making great strides toward solving these problems.

[00:04:30]Because divine feminine is not an aesthetic. It's not really goddess worship. This is about the rise of matriarchy and creating new systems, new social structures where we don't have to bear these burdens alone and where we can talk about them honestly, address them clearly and take strides toward fixing what is broken and not call it a personal failing. And this is how the creation of matriarchy begins. It begins when we realize the burdens that have been placed on our shoulders are not our fault and they're not ours to carry alone. As we begin to let down our burdens, reach out to one another, connect with one another, create our villages, and then spread that throughout the community. That's how matriarchy begins. We can't vote in matriarchy. We can't legislate matriarchy. This is a social structure we have to build. And it begins by rejecting all the lies about motherhood that have harmed us for generations.

[00:05:26]That's not my motherhood. No, I'm creating something different. And I invite you to join me and create that for yourself and your communities. And then let's move forward together to create a whole new society.