This Was Never Meant to Happen

[00:00:00]I open my Discord, and I'll show you the first [ __ ] thing I see. I swear to God, everyone. Really?

[00:00:08]Guys, come on.

[00:00:11]>> [music] >> Um okay, guys.

[00:00:16]Happy Pride.

[00:00:18]I want to I want to run you guys through a little situation I found myself in recently, okay? Okay, some of you may know this plushy. This is currently available on Makeship from creator Woolly Versus. Uh fear not though, this is Reggie, and I have been assured that all profits will go to Reggie. Uh Woolly gets [ __ ] nothing, which is the only reason that I'm pushing this. But yeah, I bought my own Reggie plush earlier today, but it kind of I ended up in a little bit of a situation. So, let me let me show you what happens here. Um I'm going back over to camera for a moment. So, I ordered the Reggie in the Labs plush, and I was clicking through, and then eventually, what happened is that at some point this hat got added to my order, and it says made with Pride hat. And so then, this was a mistake. I I got the Reggie plush, but for some reason I was clicking through, and the made with Pride hat was added to my basket. And so then, immediately, I was like, "Okay, well that that's a mistake.

[00:01:19]That's that's not right." And so, I I started to email Makeship, and I was like, "Hey guys, uh listen, the made with Pride hat got added to my yeah, um I accidentally bought this hat, okay? And you know, immediately I was like, "Well, I don't I don't I didn't mean to buy this hat. This is not what I meant to buy." So, I wrote my email out to Makeship being like, "Hey guys, listen, I accidentally bought a Pride hat from you guys, and that was a mistake. I don't want it." But then I looked at that email, and I was like, "Well, that sounds kind of like that sounds kind of like I I like I disagree with pride, which Obviously I don't, but I I also I don't necessarily want this hat because it's not really me in the just the general design and aesthetic. It's not super my thing. And so I tried to describe this by rewriting the email a couple of times. The hat was like 25 bucks or something. I I think Yeah, there we go.

[00:02:18]25 bucks. And every time I did, the email just sounded socially homophobic.

[00:02:25]Which is really not my my jam. Start the sentence with I'm not homophobic, [laughter] but >> [snorts] [gasps] >> I'm Okay. Hey Makeship, I'm not homophobic, but I want to talk to you about a hat that was included [laughter] in my recent order.

[00:02:44]I want to assure the fine people at Makeship that I believe in all colors of the rainbow and that I believe people should be allowed to pursue their hat happiness to the utmost degree with whoever they want. Now, that said, I would be remiss not to mention that the hat in question is just stylistically not what I'm looking for. And what I learned is there's no way for me to say I don't want this hat without it coming across as homophobic. Not going to lie, it's kind of ugly. It is kind of ugly. It is.

[00:03:17]Like just the the kind of like like the whole kind of trucker thing, it's not really my vibe. I don't like the kind of cream off-white. I'm not mad about this kind of text and the the the specifically this part, this looks like Comic Sans. I just don't like the hat. Pride, great.

[00:03:36]Awesome. Great. But But tell them you bought the hat for your gay husband, but he already had >> [laughter] >> one.

[00:03:44]I really I love that I need to mention that my husband is gay. Just tell them it's an ugly hat. No, because if I called a hat ugly, that also just sounds homophobic. It isn't a good hat, but congrats. I mean While I'm all about pride, I would never order a trucker hat. A mistake has clearly [laughter] been made.

[00:04:04]If anything, it would be hair homophobic to wear a hat that doesn't slay, and that's from Gay Ham, so it's legit. Ask your Ask your emotional support lesbian to type the mail for you. Look, I was out with my emotional support lesbian last [ __ ] night, okay? We went to a gay bar, and then we left cuz there were no seats, but we did go to one. I'm I'm cool. I I support people. I just don't want this hat. It's just it's not a nice hat. And and now I'm stuck with it because society has trapped me. And you know what? I think the [ __ ] hat isn't even going to be here during pride. The hat is going to arrive after pride, and you know, okay. Listen, [ __ ] Out last night with a lesbian. You know what I'm doing Sunday afternoon? I'm going on a walk in a park with a different lesbian. You know what I'm doing next Thursday? I am going to dinner with a different [ __ ] lesbian, okay? I am You can't get me. I I >> [laughter] >> This is so I don't know how I got to this segment.

[00:05:08]It's It's It's just not even the same lesbian.

[00:05:12]Guys, that's three different lesbians, okay? Three different ones, all right?

[00:05:16]Can't you put the hat on one your plushies? I guess I could. What's the gayest plushy I have?

[00:05:20]Okay, I guess I guess this guy is a pretty good candidate for it.

[00:05:24]He could I could see maybe this guy wearing the pride hat. We have the I have I have this Monster Hunter monster.

[00:05:30]It's pretty cute.

[00:05:32]But I don't know.

[00:05:33]Oh, I think we have a winner. I think we have a winner.

[00:05:37]It's Marisa from Street Fighter 6. Okay, she's she's getting the pride hat.

[00:05:44]I just don't think it's a very nice hat, okay? I'm not trying I Look, guys, come on. It's me here, the Johnster, all bisexual panic. It's It's It's It's not It doesn't I I I regret bringing any of this up. Wear the hat or homophobic. Okay, guys, listen, you know at some point you're going to open up one of these streams and I'm going to be wearing that ugly ass hat. Because what choice do I have now? I mean like if it gets to the house, what am I going to do? Not wear it? Why? You got a problem with pride?

[00:06:23]No, of course. Unfortunately, someone will tell Woolie about this. Personally, I blame Woolie. And you know what? I'm going to say it, Reggie a little bit too. Reggie a little bit too. I think that the the the hat got added to the basket with a single click and now I uh now I have it. I own this. It's headed my way right now. John, if a shirt that said I support the black and the trans The black and tans? Oh, Jesus. Okay, let me tell you who I support, okay? The [ __ ] black and trans, absolutely unconditionally tremendous support. The black and tans, get the [ __ ] out of here. And if you don't know what the black and tans are, please do not try and interpret what I just said into anything other than their place in Irish history.

[00:07:05]>> [gasps] >> Oof, I'm really fighting for my life this stream. Chat, this is uh this has been a tough one. I expect you to wear the hat live on stream. I know Zenowick, I know. Everyone wants that now. Okay.

[00:07:18]So, I guess if we go like here. Okay, this is me. This is a photo of me, everyone. This is me from a couple of seconds ago. Okay, so let let's let's see the damage here, okay?

[00:07:30]Okay, you know what? I got I got to try something else here. Hang on. So, let's Okay. Okay. Okay, this is working better. This is working better. So, okay.

[00:07:42]I feel like this proves that I'm open-minded and that there's no ill intent. The fact that this The fact that I did this is You see, now now if I make this photo my profile photo and then email MakeShift saying that I already have a pride hat and ordered a second one accidentally, then I feel that shows that I am cool with gay [ __ ] I just don't want the hat. I think this proves that I'm open-minded and love >> [laughter] >> I I really want to make this my profile I want to I want to post this on Blue Sky.

[00:08:33]This is so good. Oh, dear. I kind of want to clean it up a little bit though.

[00:08:38]Yeah, I think I think clearly this is a person who Yeah, you know what? I think we just post this to Blue Sky and just say happy pride everybody. I think that'll go down real well. Yeah, I think I think this does it. I think this works. I don't know what anyone who isn't viewing this stream is going to think of that.

[00:09:04]I guess we'll see. I guess we'll see.

[00:09:08]So, someone under the post has wrote can confirm not AI and then another person under that has can confirm John is actually wearing the hat.

[00:09:16]Oh, we like to have fun.

[00:09:18]We like to have fun.

[00:09:24]Uh do you guys want to see a photo of me in college?

[00:09:27]>> [laughter] >> Honestly, I can see why lesbians adopted you. I God John, you have really aged straight John.

[00:09:40]>> [laughter]