This video explores the emotional and social challenges faced by Chinese women in their 30s who remain unmarried, examining how societal pressures, unrealistic expectations, and the fear of being alone create significant psychological burdens. The content reveals that many single women struggle with loneliness, communication difficulties, and the constant pressure to conform to traditional marriage expectations, while also highlighting the importance of self-reflection and realistic relationship expectations in finding genuine connection.
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Chinese Woman U40 on Blind Dates: The Matchmaker Burst Out Laughing After Hearing Her DemandsAdded:
In four years, I will be 40. By then, I might already be menopausal, brother Jia. It has already been 2 years. I want to know how did you get through these past 2 years. How did I get through them? I just lived normally. I actually feel embarrassed taking your membership fee. I will not make trouble for you either. Look, Brother G, I feel a little guilty myself. You really should adjust your expectations. I must defend myself for a moment. Although I asked for a man with an annual income of 600,000, I also make 300,000 myself. I am only asking for his income to be twice mine. That is not too unreasonable, right? But 2 years ago you were 34. Now you are 36. In a few more years, you will be 38. If someone with an annual income of 500,000 wants to find a man making 1 million a year, how am I supposed to find that for you? As your age increases, your requirements are getting higher and higher. The most important thing is to look at the person. You should not only look at how much the other person can give you. You keep asking for things like the fivepiece gold wedding jewelry set, the diamond ring, and all these things that block your chances of finding a partner. Isn't something wrong with that? To be honest, little sister, this kind of thing becomes dangerous once comparisons start. You are 36. You want the fivepiece gold wedding jewelry set. You want a luxury wedding. You want a diamond ring worth tens of thousands.
But there is a 26-year-old woman who does not ask for any of that. You are right. This kind of thing really is dangerous once comparisons start. What happened? Did your best friend get those things? Brother G. Have you watched the news recently? The one about a 300,000 bride price shorting a best friend? Oh, I saw that. At first, when I saw it, I did not feel much. But the more I thought about it, the more I felt something was wrong. What happened? Tell me directly. I have a pretty good friend. You could say she is a close female friend. She was part of our group of friends from high school. Among all of us, she was the least noticeable one.
Her income and her job were not as good as the rest of ours. As for her looks, height, and figure, she was not quite on our level either. So, she was a little lacking, right? Yes. just a little lacking. I do not mean that I looked down on her, but between women, there is always a little bit of comparison. She was a slightly chubby girl. She also wore glasses. We had introduced men to her before, but none of it worked out.
Then suddenly one day, she told us in our group chat that she was in a relationship. She was dating a man 2 years younger than her. The man was also short and chubby. He only had a junior college degree. His monthly income was only around 6 or7,000. Of course, I definitely would not have chosen him.
But if a man like that was willing to accept her and genuinely like her, that was still a good thing. We did not really pay attention to it because to us, it did not seem like something worth paying attention to. After that, she started sharing some sweet daily moments with us. Things about how her boyfriend treated her, but they were all just small favors and little gestures. They dated for more than a year. Then they got married. It was the kind of Chinese style wedding she liked most. The scale of the wedding looked like it probably cost more than 100,000.
So that little chubby guy had money, right? I guess so. On the night of her wedding, we were a group of bridesmaids.
So we carefully questioned her. We asked how they met, how they got together, how they got married, and what he gave her.
She told us that the bride price was 180,000. After marriage, he handed over all his salary to her. His father also bought him a car and he bought her a bracelet. Then your heart became unbalanced. Exactly. So I also have to date someone excellent. That is why I came to see you today. I just wanted to talk to you about this feeling of unwillingness inside me. My best friend really triggered me. Later, after I saw that video online, I started guessing.
Could it be that she exaggerated some parts? So, I tried to learn more about her current situation. Now, she is a full-time housewife. Her life is not as happy as she described to us. At that time, she did not actually tell you that she was living an extremely happy life.
First, you only saw with your own eyes that the wedding looked pretty good.
Second, the man verbally said something like, "I will hand over my salary." That was just one part of the wedding performance. Whether he can actually hand over the salary is another matter.
how much he hands over, whether he hands over all of it. Those words can be said very easily. And you took all of that seriously. That does not count. That was only used to create atmosphere. You were being silly. At that time, it was because I did not know. So, I felt unwilling. Now that you know, what are your thoughts? Now that I know, I do not know what to do anymore because I am also getting older now. You are telling me not to set so many conditions and to just get to know a man. But if I date him, we need to date for at least a year before I can even consider marriage.
Then when it is time to get married, what if he is not as good as I imagined?
What do you mean by good? Whether he gives you those things or not. Yes. If you are after those things, then do not come here looking for marriage. I am telling you honestly. If your definition of whether a man is good is how much money he is willing to spend on you at the marriage stage, then your way of thinking is wrong. It is wrong. What I want is not the money. Of course, then what do you want? What I want is the process. What I want is that kind of ceremony. Then can you add one more step into the process where you give the man 300,000? He can also say that he wants the process. What? add another step since it is just a process anyway right so can we add it or not number brother G so this is about the process do not make that kind of joke I am not joking I am using this comparison to let you understand that you are not asking for a process you are asking for face you are using meaningless things to make yourself look glorious since I came here to talk to you I will tell you the truth I am someone who really cares about face. But asking for money does not make you look glorious. It does. Among our group of friends, although everyone looks like they have a good relationship, this comparison has existed from childhood all the way to adulthood. When I get married, they will definitely come to be my bridesmaids. I am being honest here. So between women, what you are comparing is who can get more money from a man and whoever gets more is more impressive. Yes. Are you sure? It proves that she is living well.
It proves that she has trained her man well. It proves that her husband loves her. It proves that her husband is willing to give. Have your other close female friends gotten married? Some of them have. Did they get those things?
Maybe they got them in other forms. What kind of forms? The man added their names to the house. Then do not come to me anymore. And do not pay me anymore either. You should ask the husbands of your female friends to introduce you to one of their male friends. Birds of a feather flock together. All right, I do not have that here. Why not? Birds of a feather flock together. I told you strange people are only surrounded by strange people. Brother G, if you want me to give up all of these things, that is too difficult. Look at my situation.
I want a man with an annual income of 600,000 with a fully paid car and house.
You can help me find that. But the men you find are all seven or eight years older than me. Some are eight or nine years older. That is too old. Their age is too high or they are divorced. How am I supposed to accept that? Then forget it. Brother J, I graduated from a 985 university. I am not ugly. My personality is not bad either. I just have a little bit of a competitive mindset. I have already confessed everything. How can you expect me to accept a divorced man with children or a man so much older than me? Then find me someone who is not old. Someone younger or at least around my age. Someone with an annual income of 600,000 with a car and a house. No, listen. I will look for him for you. If you need this kind of man, I can make sure your profile appears in front of him and I can introduce you to him in detail. But whether he wants to meet you or not is his decision. I cannot decide that. This is a matter of personal choice. Then what do you think? I do not think anything. I cannot decide. What did you think before? I could not decide before either. Then I will still go today. Do not go. I will go. Do not go. I already waited 2 years. Number. Your best friend found a man who added her name to the house. Your best friend is the one who has good resources. You should go to her. But she dated that boyfriend for 4 years. I do not have 4 years to wait for someone anymore. In four years, I will be 40. By then, I may already be menopausal. Brother G, I am begging you.
After she introduces someone to you, you can move things forward faster. Just push the relationship forward. If you push the camera too hard, it will break.
This is your area of expertise. You have many resources. You are reliable. I have already waited 2 years. One more year will not make much difference. I believe in your professionalism. I will renew for another year. do not. I can give up those requirements. Things like the fivepiece gold wedding jewelry set and the bride price. I do not want them anymore. Even if the car and house are bought with loans, I can accept that. He can be five or 6 years older than me. As long as he does not look especially old, his income must be high enough. 600,000.
Around 5 or 600,000. At least above 500,000. He absolutely cannot be divorced with children. Then divorced without children is acceptable. No divorced men unmarried. Exactly. Where am I supposed to find that for you? A man over 36 unmarried with an annual income of 600,000. Where do you think I can find that? Do you think other women are blind? Such a good man. Would they not know to grab him? Then I feel sorry for myself. Sorry for what? If I find a divorced man, no matter how high his income is, it is still embarrassing. If your true first priority is marital status, then we will look among unmarried men. You need to choose from unmarried men who like you and are willing to meet you. Among those men, you can choose someone whose overall conditions you think are acceptable. But this overall may not only be about annual income. For example, maybe his annual income is only 100,000 but his father's family owns three villas. That kind of person can be considered. I am just giving an example. So what I mean is you must hold on to your first priority. You must think clearly about what your first priority is. Is it marital status? I want to ask. Yes, face. Are you really going to live your whole life just for face? Think clearly.
You are 36. Use your brain. You make 300,000 a year. Please use your thinking ability. I have thought very clearly.
Brother Jay, if I could lower my standards, I would have lowered them a long time ago. Then continue to suffer.
No problem. You think that now I no longer care about income. The planning seems okay. I still care about income, too. Did I not already say it? Hold on to your first priority. among the men who match your first priority, who like you, and who are willing to get to know you. Choose the one whose overall conditions you think are acceptable.
Anyway, I came here today to renew. I have already delayed myself until 36. If I delay a little longer, it does not matter anymore, right? Anyway, what I said just now was for your own good. The solution I gave you is also the path most likely to get close to what you want and solve your single problem without wasting more time. The price of this is your own life. If you are willing, then fine. I am willing. All right. Then get to know people properly.
I will. If you cannot find one for me, I will come back again next year. I must hit this wall. I have to hit it no matter what. Thank you, brother G. Okay.
If you're still watching, comment one so I know you're still with me. beautiful older unmarried women should not come to matchmaking events anymore because beautiful older unmarried women are even harder to match than ordinary older unmarried women. They usually share one common trait. They are between 32 and 37 years old. They still have some beauty.
They feel that they look very young, almost like women in their early 20s.
Their education, family background, and overall conditions are all fairly decent. When they were younger, almost all of them went through a period when they were very popular. When they were in school or when they had just started working, many men pursued them. Most likely, they once dated rich second generation men or highquality men. But in real life, they often only fall for playboys or romance scammers because only romance scammers can fully satisfy their requirements. At the last event, a woman came over and asked me, "Why don't men take the initiative to add me anymore? Am I really old now? She was born in 1990. She said that 10 years ago when she went on blind dates, basically every man wanted to get to know her. She never expected the dating market to change so quickly. But 10 years had already passed. Next to her sat a girl born after 2000. Many men were adding that girl on WeChat. But once they heard this woman's age, most of them would not add her at all. Sitting there, she felt extremely uncomfortable. She only wanted to leave as quickly as possible. The people around her had already started introducing her to divorced men with children, but she herself could not accept that at all. Now she finally gathered the courage to attend another matchmaking event, but she did not expect the result to be like this again.
I asked her, "Then do you still want to get married?" She said yes. She wanted to have a child of her own before turning 40, so she had to get married. I said, "Then this requirement of yours is simple enough." What she meant was that she did not necessarily have to find a man with the same conditions as her ex-boyfriend. As long as the man was decent, that would be fine. So, I tried to understand what she meant by a decent partner. First, there were the hard conditions. A house, a car, height, job, education, and family background. All of these had to be about the same as hers.
Then, when it came to the softer side, the man also had to provide her with emotional value. Her original words were, "I can accept it if you introduce me to someone whose conditions are not as good as my ex-boyfriend's, but at the very least, none of his conditions should be worse than mine, right?
Otherwise, why did I wait for so many years? Was it just so I could become someone's stepmother?" Which she said makes sense. So, I suggested that she must never compromise in the future because the best ones are still waiting ahead. Why do older unmarried women, even when they are clearly no longer young, still look as if they are not anxious at all? It is because they are very confident in themselves. But the distance from confidence to emotional collapse can sometimes be only one single moment. I once saw a 35-year-old woman crying her heart out. She said that at a matchmaking event, she finally met a man around her age, someone who looked like he might be the kind of person she could entrust the rest of her life to. But then that man turned around and chose a woman younger than her. She said she cried the entire night. So it is not that they are not anxious. They simply appear calm and unbothered when they are facing men. But when they are facing young unmarried women, every one of those women becomes a rival in their eyes. Deep down they are extremely anxious. These days trying to find a man to marry is truly difficult. I am already 33 this year and I still have not managed to marry myself off this year. I must get married. Even if I marry into his family and have to live like a nanny, I will accept it. If they order me around, I will accept it. If they want me to serve my father-in-law and mother-in-law, I will serve them. If my husband wants me to take care of him, I will take care of him. If I have to serve everyone in the family, young and old, I will accept all of it. Because once a woman gets older, she really cannot afford to wait anymore. My mother urges me every single day to get married and have children. She says, "I am already 33 this year. If a woman passes 35 and still has not married, then her life is basically already set. Not being able to marry becomes a fixed outcome.
Then all that is left is to spend the rest of her life growing old alone. No matter what, I must get married this year. Even if I just randomly find a man and marry him, I still have to get the marriage done. Because if you do not get married, you will have no sons and no daughters. You will have no companionship. No one will take care of you. When you get old, there will be no one to support you in your later years.
What a terrifying thing that would be.
Just like my mother said, if a woman does not get married and does not have children in this life, then she is not a complete woman. Her whole life is completely wasted. So now I am no longer thinking about whether I will be happy in the future. Whether I end up getting divorced or not is no longer important.
The most important thing is to complete the task in front of me first. Get married first and talk about everything else later. This year I must get married. My family is still waiting for me to continue the family line. I still need to have three children. Heavenly spirits, earthly spirits, please let me marry this year. Okay, before we dive into all of this, let us know in the comments where you're watching this video from. Connecting with viewers across the world is a huge source of inspiration for us. I was born in 1993.
According to traditional age counting, I am already 34. I have a master's degree.
I have never been married. I have never had children. By this August, I will have spent exactly 10 full years drifting in Beijing. And the biggest achievement of these 10 years is this. I moved from a shared rental room of 9 square meters to the shared rental room I live in now, which is 19 square meters. People always say that living alone is so free and easy. But because I have been alone for too long, I no longer really know how to communicate with other people. I have no common topics with people my own age because what they talk about is always their husbands, their children, and their parents. And with my parents, I have even fewer things to talk about because they cannot understand how a woman can be almost 35 and still not be married.
Sometimes I truly do not know where the road ahead is. I do not know what I should do with my future. If he really likes me, then he should tolerate everything about me. If he cannot even tolerate a few small things, then why would I even be with him? Since you yourself said they are small things, then why can't you communicate properly with him and solve them together? Even though you work in the public sector and your income and education are both pretty good, you are already over 30. It was not easy for you to meet this university teacher. He is from the main city area and is an only son. Whether it is his family background, education, job or appearance, you are quite satisfied with him. So why give up over one small thing? Because when we went out to have fun, I was only 1 hour late and he already became impatient and started getting angry at me. Are you often late?
It is very normal for a girl to be late.
She has to wash her hair, put on makeup, and match her clothes. Are you often late? And when going out, there may be traffic jams. If it rains, it may also be hard to get a taxi. Those are all uncontrollable factors. You only need to answer me directly. Are you often late or not? If you had 10 dates, how many times would you be late? About eight times. But before this, it was not like I had never been late. He had never said anything about it before. So this time, he suddenly got angry at me for no reason. You are not even officially together yet, and he already cannot keep pretending. If you really get together, then what will happen? How do your parents treat you? They treat me very well. When you were little, if you failed to finish your homework eight times out of 10, would your parents scold you or beat you? They would definitely scold me. Then even your biological parents who are connected to you by blood cannot tolerate you unconditionally. When you do something wrong, they still scold you and discipline you. So when a man you met through matchmaking says a few words to you because you are constantly late, what is wrong with that? But if he does not tolerate me, how would I know whether he truly likes me? Sister Xiang, I have been a matchmaker for more than 10 years. I can tell you very responsibly that if a man can tolerate you unconditionally, there are only two reasons. First, he only wants to play around with you. Since the relationship will not last long anyway, he can pretend for a while. Second, you are free. He has not paid any real material cost. So emotionally he can casually coax you and comfort you. It does not cost him anything. Then which kind of woman do you want to become? If you continue choosing men this way, then I can only say this. If you meet a bad man, you deserve it. I have never had a boyfriend and I have never provoked any bad man. It is only a matter of time. If you do not change your mindset, there are only two endings. First, the people you meet are all normal men. So every normal man will be unable to continue with you and you will continue staying single from birth until now. Second, you will be taken down by a highly skilled playboy. Then you will be hurt until you are completely broken. I think what you are saying is too absolute. Why can't I meet someone whose whole heart and eyes are only for me? Because in this world there is no tolerance without reason.
All tolerance is built on the foundation of trust. Your parents can tolerate you not doing homework once or twice because they believe you will change for the better. A man can tolerate you being late to dates three or five times because he believes you will correct it.
But if you fail to do your homework eight times out of 10 or you are late to dates eight times out of 10, they will definitely become disappointed in you.
Then they will begin to discipline you.
The essence of this whole matter is not that he does not tolerate you. It is that you have disappointed his trust.
And after that, you even turn around and accuse him of not liking you enough. Do you not think that is too much? But when girls go out, it is always very troublesome. If it is troublesome, then can't you prepare earlier? But it is finally the weekend and I finally get to rest. I cannot wake up. Then that means you do not like him enough. You are not sincere enough. Why are you throwing dirty water on the man? But I am a woman. Wait, do I have a boyfriend now?
So what if you are a woman? Are women not people? Relationships between people always begin with communication then understanding. After that comes trust.
And on the foundation of trust, understanding and tolerance can be created. Only this kind of relationship can last, dear. But you come in from the very beginning and demand that the man tolerate you unconditionally just because you are a woman. There are women everywhere on the street. Can he tolerate all of them? But I have never dated before. If this is my first time dating a man, then it is normal that I do not understand these processes.
Everyone takes the college entrance exam for the first time too. So why can some people get into Chingwa University and Peing University while others can only go to a junior college? Because a junior college student knows that his grades are usually not good. So he will not blame the school. But you clearly know that for the past 30 years, you have never been able to get into a relationship. Yet you still do not reflect on your own problems. Instead, you throw the blame onto the man. Do you think that is reasonable? You need to understand this. When two people get together, they first discover each other's strengths. That is called beginning with affection. After they are together, they can tolerate each other's shortcomings. That is called staying loyal to love. But you right from the start are trying to make the other person unilaterally tolerate all your flaws. That is called a romance scam. It is just like Singa University or Ping University suddenly calling you and saying you are taking the college entrance exam for the first time. You do not need to work hard anymore. We have unilaterally decided to lower the admission score by 500 points just to accept you. If that is not a scam, then what is it? And maybe this is the most painful part of growing older alone in a big city. It is not just about being unmarried. It is not just about not having children. It is the feeling that year after year you are still trying hard, still surviving, still telling yourself to hold on, but the world around you keeps moving forward in a direction you cannot seem to enter. For 10 years, she stayed in Beijing. from a 9 square meter shared room to a 19 square meter shared room. It sounds like progress, but behind that progress is a kind of loneliness that many people may never understand. People often say that being alone means freedom. But when loneliness lasts too long, freedom can slowly turn into silence. You stop knowing what to say to others. You stop knowing how to connect. And one day you suddenly realize that you are not only far away from marriage, you are also far away from ordinary conversations, family expectations, and the life that everyone else seems to be living. So here is the question for women who work hard in big cities. Is being unmarried really a personal failure, or is it the result of a society that gives women pressure but does not give them enough real choices?
Share your thoughts in the comments. Do you think a woman must get married before 35 to have a complete life? Or can a person still build a meaningful life alone? If this story touched you, please like this video, subscribe to the channel, and share it with someone who may be going through the same struggle.
Thank you so much for watching. Take care of yourself. Be kind to your own journey.
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