Meghan Markle NEW Product Is… Matches?! Oh Dear!

Added: 2026-05-29

[00:00:00]Hey guys, welcome back to Think Beautiful, the channel where I talk all about Megan Markle and her crap brand as ever. And you guessed it, we have another product. What did we do to deserve this? Oh, and it is worse than expected. This is what you call a nothing burger. This is the reason that term exists. So, I cannot wait to tell you about her new product drop. It is literally that bad. It's disgraceful.

[00:00:32]She's running out of ideas. Now, in my episode today, I will also, it'll be so funny. I'm also going to go through these comments. So, I put the call out to you guys to tell me, please help me out here. What is this? Please explain what is this. And you guys have come through with the goods. Thank goodness for you. I would never have known what this was. So, I will be going through all of these comments. So, make sure you stick around if you want to have a laugh. And goodness knows we need it when the AS ever brand is dropping new products willy-nilly. We need something to keep us sane. So, we will get to that right at the end. But first up, I saw this post on X and this is fabulous. Her fans are once again sabotaging her brand. Take a look at this. What is this? So, it's a candle and a bookmark.

[00:01:30]Yeah, I get it. But I can't help but notice that the book is called Mating in Captivity. How is this helping Megan's brand? It's not. Is that meant to be romantic? What is going on here? And when you zoom in, the book is all about unlocking erotic intelligence. Oh gosh, I don't even want to know what is going on there. I'm starting to think honestly that Megan's PR team are doing this on purpose just so they have a reason for her to keep them on. We know she has no money, so it looks like they're trying to make problems on purpose just to stay employed. That's the only reason I can think of for something like this to be out in the universe. This is shocking.

[00:02:19]So, thank you to that one for putting that up and getting my attention. It certainly worked. And guys, please head over to X if you're on X and go and follow this account if you're not already. They are so funny. And I just had to share that with you. I told you things just get worse and worse for Megan Markle. But let me tell you what she's also doing because she is running out of ideas of things to do with flower sprinkles. So, first of all, she put them in cookies. Then she tried to put them on salads. And then her fans were like, "Oh, let's put them in a coffee."

[00:02:56]And they should have just stopped there.

[00:02:58]But Megan needs to move these products.

[00:03:01]So, she has to inspire us somehow. But is this the way to do it? Because I saw this today. Oh, this brand just cracks me up. It really does. What is this?

[00:03:12]What is going on? Now, first I thought, "Oh, that's icing. Okay, what's happening?" And then she gets a stamp and puts like a flower stamp on it. So, I was very confused. Then I thought, "Oh, maybe it's wax." She's writing another letter. She loves to write letters, but I don't think it is. I think it's icing. So, if that's icing, what are you meant to do with this? Now, I'm pretty sure I saw a fan do something kind of similar to this. So, she's probably copying her fans, which is not a good idea, Megan. But what is the point of this? Oh, maybe it's white chocolate. I just realized maybe it could be white chocolate. But didn't she already have white chocolate with flower sprinkles? I'm so confused. What is going on here? And do I even really want to know? No one is going to do this. And that must be like five bucks worth of flower sprinkles right there. So again, another dumb idea from the duchess.

[00:04:11]She's so bad at this. I didn't realize how bad she was. Oh, but it is so funny.

[00:04:18]So please, Megan, don't stop now. Just keep on going. Keep checking Pinterest and just try and copy whatever is going on there. It's really making me laugh.

[00:04:30]Thank you so much. Oh, but something else that is going to make me laugh and you as well is her new product. Because when I saw this, I thought, "Oh, okay.

[00:04:40]Another candle." And what is that teapot thing? I have no idea. I'm sure it's worth like $30,000. But no, Megan Markle has matches. That is her product.

[00:04:52]Oversized matches so people can light the candles that they're not even buying in the first place. And this is what she says about these matches. She says, "A small spark arriving tomorrow." Oh, I cannot wait for this. I will laugh my head off if these things are sold out. I will know for sure that she is a liar. No one is going to be climbing over themselves to try and get a box of matches. And to be really honest, I wouldn't trust her fans with matches either. Now, keep in mind, she has young children. And I bet you anything there are no warning labels on these things. She doesn't care about safety. So, I'm not even sure if these should be being sold in the first place.

[00:05:42]And keeping in mind Archie and Lily are by themselves most days it appears. So Harry and Megan better be careful after one of their faux tours. They may come home to a burnt out Monteito mansion because that thing is full of wood. They haven't renovated it. It's basically all wood paneling. So I'm sure their place would go up in flames very quickly. So as you can see this is a terrible idea.

[00:06:10]Now, of course, Meghan Markle has gone the cheap route because I'm pretty sure she's ordered these off Alibaba, the same place that she's been getting her candles from. And as you can see, these are cheap as. And it doesn't even look like she's changed the color of the box.

[00:06:29]Now, when you take a closer look, you can see that these are actually for cigars. They're not even for candles.

[00:06:38]Now, of course, you can use them for candles, but it's pretty funny that she's trying to sell cigar matches.

[00:06:44]Again, sending the wrong message to the kids out there, but I'm sure Harry and Doria are going to love these matches.

[00:06:51]Now, you can see the minimum order is 200, so I'm guessing she's gone with that. And they're $128 a box. So, I'm going to guess, oh, at least $12.

[00:07:03]Something ridiculous like that. Now you can choose all different colors. Megan's gone with the white probably because there was no beige. So she's just ordering off the drop down at this point. Now in these boxes, according to Alibaba, you get 12 matches. That's not many. That's why I'm thinking maybe $12 a dollar a match. And if you zoom in on her little matchbox here, you can count 11. So, either she's used one for the candle already, or which is much more likely, she's probably taken one out of every single box and is trying to make more out of them because remember, she is such a fraud. Allegedly, it's what she said, her words. But can you believe that Megan is making a huge song and dance about selling matches? Seriously, can someone just send this woman some money? Victoria Jackson, where are you?

[00:08:01]Get your checkbook out. We don't want to see stuff like this all the time. Just pay her off. Shut her up. And please get her to stop putting products like this out into the world. It's pollution, you could say. Now, I had a look at her website because, funnily enough, she's selling them for free when you buy this fourpack of candles. That's how desperate she is to move candles. This is meant to be an incentive if you buy this overpriced packet of candles. Now, remember, it's $264 for these four candles. So, yes, you should be throwing in something for free. I mean, either way, no one's buying this pack. If no one's buying it now, a packet of matches is not going to help. I mean, hotels give out matches for free. It's not an incentive. It's an embarrassment is what it is. So, you can see here she's added it to her website already for this pack of candles. And guess what? They're limited edition. Of course they are. Everything is limited edition. Her brand is limited. It's expiring very soon. Now, thank goodness matches don't expire. It's probably why she went with this product. Finally, something safe. Oh, and of course, one more thing, you guys. Of course, she doesn't even have them listed on her trademark. Oh gosh, look at all these products and she keeps releasing things that aren't even on here. First, the bookmarks and now the matches. Now, I did some research and according to AI, you have to list them under class 34.

[00:09:42]That is where matches should be. And she doesn't even have anything under class 34. absolutely nothing. It doesn't exist. Who is advising her? What is going on? Why can't she get this right?

[00:09:58]This is so bad. Oh my gosh, Megan Markle, just give up, please. But how fitting that Megan Markle has matches because now she can literally burn every single bridge she's ever known. all the family members, every friendship, relationship, you guessed it, it's going to be burnt. And now she can use her as ever candles to do it. How perfect is this? Honestly, the first thing I thought when I saw she had matches. So, Megan Markle is bringing out matches. I never thought I would see the day. What is actually going on with this brand?

[00:10:39]She is digging a bigger hole for herself by putting out stuff like this. Nobody asks for it. Nobody wants it. Nobody needs it. It's just a box with a logo on it. That's all it is. Anyone could come up with this. So, please let me know what you think about this. How much would you pay for this? And aren't you going to have to pay for postage as well? So, these things are going to be very expensive by the time you add that to the price. Oh, I am just rolling my eyes over here. I don't even think I can save this brand anymore. I might have to step down as the acting CEO because every time I try to fix this brand on behalf of Megan, she just throws me a curveball. But I do love that she keeps adding to her stockpile. She's just burying herself in products over there.

[00:11:31]But guys, I want to tell you something funny because I have been reporting on Megan Markle for way too long, obviously. And let me tell you what happened this morning because I saw my subscribers and I love you guys. Thank you so much. But look at this number.

[00:11:45]All I saw was 519.

[00:11:49]And my brain has been rotted to all hell clearly because the first thing I thought when I saw that was 519. Oh, that's one of her candles. Oh my gosh, you guys. I need to take a lie down. I think I have been brainwashed by this brand. If only I had a candle, a 519 candle to celebrate this many subscribers. Oh, but of course I'd need a match as well because I can't light it without a match. I can't just use a lighter that I might have around the home or a free match from someone. I have to buy an overpriced match now. But guys, in all seriousness, thank you so much to all of my subscribers. I'm so so grateful. This is huge for me. And if you haven't already subscribed, please do so. We are having so much fun on this channel and there are so many exciting things to come. But let's get to this caption contest, shall we? It's not really a contest, but I just wanted to know because I really had no idea what is this. And you guys have come through with the goods. You have told me all kinds of options and now I have a much clearer picture of what is going on here. So, let me tell you some of the funniest things that you guys came up with. What is this? Because it's absolutely not a scone. We know that for sure. So, this one here says, "It looks like a jam hamburger to me." And it does. That cannot be a scone recipe. It looks like bread. Like badly cooked bread at that. Just a few sesame seeds on top and you'd have yourself a jam hamburger. So, I love that one. Thank you so much. Now, next up, Beck says, "It's either a hockey puck or a doors stop." And I'm pretty sure it could be used for either of those. It looks hard as a rock. It really does. So unappetizing. So, thank you, Beck. I love that. Now, Pria says, "Check out my brick recipe if you need to redo your driveway." Oh, fantastic. Another business that Megan could fail at, although she may actually do well with this one. And funnily enough, she does need her driveway done. Imagine living in a $14 million mansion and your driveway looks like this. It's very clear they can't afford the maintenance on this property. They are living in squalor over there as far as Monteito residents go, of course. Now, this one here from Marta. She says, "Whatever it is, I just lost my appetite." I mean, too, funny. It doesn't look like something you'd want to eat. You're definitely going to need to book a dentist appointment immediately after.

[00:14:37]All your teeth are going to fall out on this thing. Now, Holly Robinson says, "Is it ketchup and cool whip between two rocks?" You could be right there. I'm sure it tastes exactly the same. Now, Stacy Russell says, "It looks like something you'd go to the doctor to get a prescription for." Oh, that is gross.

[00:14:57]Stacy, are you saying that's pus or something? Pus and blood. Oh, so gross.

[00:15:03]I'm so sorry if you're eating right now.

[00:15:05]I should have put a warning up at the start. Please accept my apologies. Now, Sharon Ray says, "It looks like dog biscuits with topping." And it absolutely does, Sharon. But it just reminds me, remember when Megan started to make dog biscuits for like five minutes? This was going to be her new thing and she gave up on it straight away, like she does with everything. But it looks like the same recipe. And maybe this is why her dog is no longer with us. Now, next up, Zach Sawyer says it's a failing grade in a high school cooking class. And you would never put that up in school. You would fail for sure.

[00:15:47]You'd need to put a heap more jam and cream on that thing. But teachers aren't that dumb. You know, you're still going to fail. Now, Audrey says it looks like the plate fell on the floor and she didn't try to fix it. Well, it's not perfection, Audrey. It's all about the joy. Just remember that. I still don't see the joy, but okay. And what about this one? It's an ice hockey puck and a jar of Elizabeth Arden for H's frozen torture. Why do you guys always make me say that word? It's so gross. But it could be Elizabeth Arden cream. We just don't know. It's definitely not clotted cream. Look at it. It could be anything.

[00:16:28]It could be glue. It could be house paint. Whatever it is, you shouldn't be eating it, that's for sure. Now, what about this one? Having a crack at Harry.

[00:16:38]They're Harry's brains when he realized where he is now in life. Now, I think you are giving way too much credit to Harry in that sentence. Firstly, he doesn't have a brain. And secondly, he has no idea what day it is. He doesn't realize anything. But I see where you're going and I appreciate it. I just don't think Harry has any idea what's going on. He probably had to eat this at the end of the day. It was probably his dinner. It's all he gets from Megan.

[00:17:09]Now, Jacqueline Brown says that is heartburn central. If it even went down, that is I'm not even sure my throat could take that. It would scratch it all the way down. Now, Ellie Z says, "I don't know what that is, but I think I saw it floating in a public toilet." You guys are so gross, but so funny. GH Megan Markle's cooking. Now, Mary says that is one of the many reasons why her cooking show was cancelled. And I bet you Ted Sarando saw this on Instagram and he was like, "Oh, I have made the right decision there. Thank goodness there's no Netflix logo in the corner."

[00:17:52]Talk about losing your credibility in the cooking world. Does anyone watch Netflix for cooking shows anymore? What has he done to Netflix? completely ruined it. No credibility. Now, this one here from Drimble Wedge says that is desperation in a baked good. Oh, she is so desperate for attention. So desperate that she'll even pretend to bake and she even hates doing it. So why does she bother? Now Susan Andrews says that is a filled diaper. And I think you could be right there, Susan. It is absolutely Spot on there. But my favorite response, and they're all so good, but this one just made me chuckle. And I bet it's true as well because this one came from Morty G. And it says, "That is evidence in court for a restraining order." Oh, I love that because just remember why she even posted it in the first place. She was trying to communicate with Prince William. I bet she heard the word jam and she thought, "Oh, he must want to say hi to me." I know. I'll post a picture of a scone or I'll try to at least now. Wouldn't it be funny if Prince William was doing this as a joke just to see if she reacted some kind of test and it could have been to justify a restraining order. And guess what, Megan? You failed miserably.

[00:19:20]That restraining order will absolutely be served now. Oh, I love that one. So guys, thank you so much for all of your ideas there. I loved every single one of them. I really enjoy reading through them and I just know that Megan Markle hates it. So, let's keep doing this, shall we? So, guys, that is my show for you today. Please let me know what you think of those matches. What is going on there? Why is she bringing out matches?

[00:19:48]Has she just completely run out of ideas? And could we use them to burn the rest of her products? That's probably a great use for those things. So guys, thank you so much for listening. Please remember to like and subscribe and I will absolutely keep roasting Meghan Markle on this channel. Have a good night guys. Bye.