Madigan cleverly captures the visceral power of shared language in sports, showing how a single word can bridge the gap between individual observation and collective euphoria. It’s a sharp, grounded insight into the infectious energy that defines global fandom.
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Madigan's Pubcast Ep280: Country Roads, VAMOS & Our World Cup Party with HollyBobby
Added:termites. Welcome to episode 280.
Welcome. Welcome. It's springtime.
Stevie Stevie still has no dates >> on her calendar. She's doing some benefit thing that I cannot attend. I wouldn't anyways do not >> benefit. Well, it's there's a bunch of people on the show. I don't know what some in Irvine. Um, >> and you may notice that the desk is configured a little differently today.
That's because we have a guest.
>> Yeah, I'm not going to introduce the guests. I don't ever have guests, and I know some of you are opposed to guests, and some of you are open to that idea.
This is a one-time thing only um because he happens to be here, but we're going to get started, and then we'll bring him in in a little bit. But that's why everything looks so different. And I took a week off because I went to the World Cup with my brother and my nephew.
>> Fun.
>> It was the greatest sporting event I've ever attended in my life. The Argentinian fans were so fun. It was in Atlanta. Just stay downtown. You can walk over. No parking. No [ __ ] >> And I s we sat next to two Egyptian kids. I called them the Pharaohs. And then Argentina, if you didn't catch it, that's why I have this shirt on.
>> Cool.
>> This is me, though. I'm like, FIFA's so corrupt. They're the [ __ ] mob.
They're horrible people. I'm like, "Do you have that shirt in a women's small?"
I mean, I know it's it says FIFA on it.
I don't even care. Totally. I'm just giving the mob more money. Um, it was they were losing to nothing. Argentina and it was like, "Oh, is this really Egypt's going to take them out?" Really?
And then boom, score tied. Boom. Then Messi's goal uh I can't remember if it was the second or third. And my little Pharaohs dropped. They just dropped to the floor. They were so upset. And I secretly took a picture. And I said to everybody on the family thread, I said, "Sad pharaohs, they're down. They've lost their pyramids."
Argentina. The game's today. Right after this, I'm going to go watch the game.
Oh, no. Not Argentina. Today's England.
Yes.
>> Yeah. Argentina.
>> England. In Argentina. There's all of Ireland and all of Scotland. And if you know your history, you will know why.
has put up Argent uh Argentinian flags >> all over their bars. Everybody's rooting for Argentina. Nobody wants England except maybe whatever English fans are out there. And I don't know if they can do it.
>> No, >> I didn't think France would lose though.
Look at Spain. And nobody even has an opinion about Spain. Well, Spaniards, but I mean like nobody hates them.
Nobody loves them. Like they're fine. Um I like their star player. That kid's really cute. and his fat threeyear-old brother is even funnier. He's so cute and he's he's like sticking out his tongue on the jumbotron and he's acting like the the the 18-year-old boys down in the field going, "Yeah, I don't know why they just keep seeing my brother.
They keep showing him on the jumbotron, >> right?"
>> And but he's adorable.
>> Um so it was a lot of money, I will admit, but a once in a-lifetime thing.
Unless four years from now you want to fly to Europe cuz the World Cup will be held in Spain and Portugal and I think I'd like to do that.
>> Fun.
>> Yeah, I would give up.
>> I would go see that over a Super Bowl any day. I've only been to one Super Bowl in my life. It was horribly boring.
>> No, I could care less. um other so that's where I went and then I couldn't get back in time and then there were storms in Atlanta and all of our flights got messed up and blah blah blah blah blah blah blah but we're to talk more about World Cup and everything else what are we drinking little Nashville hot chicken bloody mary super delicious and a Mclra cuz that's who's sponsoring the World Cup what are we eating B Cheerios has come out with birthday cake >> Cheerios >> what do you You mean gross?
>> Honey Nut Cheerios is probably my favorite cereal.
>> Really?
>> Of all? Well, I love Froot Loops and I love Fruity Pebbles.
>> Count chocolate if you can still find it.
>> Oh, no.
>> No.
>> No. They're really sweet.
>> Gross.
>> Well, kids will love it.
>> It's okay now. Wait.
It's good. Okay.
>> Little sweet out of the gate, but I like it.
Look at Ritz. Ritz doesn't stop. These people must go.
Uh, Ritz charged cheese pizza bite. Um, oh, the birthday cake was from uh, Sidell Sidell, Louisiana. Slidel, Louisiana. Termites Bo and Shelly. These are from uh, yeah, Bow. I like B. Uh, Nevada Germites. Jonathan and Ron. These are cheese. Oh my god. Look. They're tiny little cheese bites. There's cheese in between two of the tiniest. Look at this. Look at how look at how adorable that is.
>> Gross.
>> Mhm.
>> Good.
>> Cheese pizza.
>> Yeah, but it tastes like pizza.
>> Okay.
>> You know what I would do as an experiment? Put a bowl of these out if people came over just to see how many got eaten.
>> Yeah. I don't know. There's a little extra going on there.
>> Okay.
>> And Dor Oh, Doritos. Here we go. 250.
Everything's the 250th anniversary. Um, ultimate garlic parmesan cheese chick Doritos. Jesus, these people must lay awake at night thinking, I got to think of another flavor.
>> I think so.
>> And then a packaging. Who does the art?
Who's doing all this [ __ ] Just sell Doritos.
>> Just sell.
>> This is from Pennsylvania Teres Shell and Rob.
>> Oh my god.
>> Good.
>> That is a lot of garlic.
>> Okay. and a lot of I call it dusting. I don't know what chemical they put on these, but usually um if you're a garlic person, >> this is your new chip.
>> Okay, >> buy the giant bag. If you're not, I'm on the fence.
>> It's a lot.
>> Yeah, >> I don't think I can. Yeah.
>> Okay.
>> All right. But thank you for sending those. Everything you send saves me another $5.
>> It does.
>> Yep. And I'm cutting. And look, I got a little Not only did I give FIFA money, I also gave FIFA money uh for that.
>> A messy doll.
>> Yeah. Yeah, it's a messy doll with a real soccer ball.
>> Okay.
>> I'm so excited. I can barely do this podcast.
>> Seriously, I have it on record in case I go too long. Upcoming shows. Let's get to business.
This weekend, Selbyville, Delaware, outdoor gig. Never do those. Uh July 25th, Niagara Falls is gonna be fun though.
>> Oh yeah, it's great. It's super fun. I like being outside. Yeah.
>> Yeah. It's different. Um Niagara Falls July 25th um at Falls Falls Casino, by the way. Um I did some press with I had to talk to a newspaper, a publication up there.
>> Before I did that, I woke up and I got on the news and stuff. A man >> Mhm.
>> jumped into the river that feeds the falls.
>> Okay.
>> And then went over the falls. It's seemingly on purpose.
>> I don't know if he was just a thrillseker or maybe suicide attempt, but if it was, it went horribly wrong cuz he's absolutely fine. And was swimming like an otter at the bottom of on his back at the bottom of the falls.
And he doesn't look young. He doesn't look old.
>> But yeah, he survived. I mean, I'm gonna tell you a story about a lady who went over in a barrel in the early 1900s.
We'll do that. I'll do that after I get back from any August 8th, Portland, Maine. August 21 and 22, Atlantic City.
Yay. September 11th, San Antonio. 12th, Austin. 18th, Terry Town. Uh 19th, Hershey. 20 September 25th, Madison, Wisconsin. I can't wait. and I'm going to fly in to Milwaukee and I'm going to go straight to the public market and buy all the cheese I can eat in a year.
>> Um, they have wonderful Bloody Marys there, too.
>> September 26th, Prior Lake, Minnesota casino gig. October 10th, Nashville, the Ryman, Nashville Termites. Let's get on that.
>> Um, okay. So, World Cup, I can't recommend it enough. And if you don't like soccer, I get it. It's weird if you're not used to it. Um, and Wimbledon, by the way, I'm a casual fan, but I did just want I would like to quote my joke from Hunting Bigfoot about DraftKings that if you DraftKings always offers you bets like out of nowhere on weird [ __ ] and it's it's the devil. Um, but in my joke, I'm like, I'll put $50 on anybody whose last name ends in OVA for women's tennis. Two OVAs were in the finals. people.
>> So, if you would have paid attention to my betting strategy, you'd have a 50% chance you were right.
>> And is there any other way to guarantee 50% chance of winning? No, there's not.
>> You just from one joke, you could have made a [ __ ] ton of money. Or you could have lost, but you'd have 50% chance.
>> All right. This is the funny thing I like from this uh the Muff report.
>> This is things people have woken up to when they're drunk that they've done.
They're so great. And I could tell they're real because you'd have to have the craziest imagination to make it up.
This uh person wrote, "I woke up to see I listed a traffic cone with sunglasses and a captain's hat on Facebook Marketplace as skip $85 firm cash and carry.
She tried to sell a traffic cone.
This um >> here's one. This is uh about pets. Uh it's a funny site and it's what owners are telling their uh pet sitters to do.
>> Uhhuh.
>> Uh this is about a dog.
>> Okay.
>> Around 400 p.m. he gets sad about nothing in particular. Just sit with him and tell he's tell him he's a good boy until it passes.
>> People are crazy.
>> But I write out my list for Chapo and I know I'm crazy.
>> Yeah. I'm like, if you want him to sit in your lap, you have to get the gray blanket, only gray. He doesn't care for the blue. And if you don't have a blanket, he won't do it. And uh Kato will not do any of that. Um yeah, my list is completely crazy, right?
>> Baby cat responds to these five names like Puku. She she responds to a lot if she chooses to respond. Uh I have no Tom Brady news. I'm going to talk about Tay- Tay with my guest. Um, Queen News, Dolly's, um, musical is gonna premiere on Broadway.
>> Oh.
>> On her 81st birthday.
>> Oh, nice.
>> That's great. Um, she won't be telling she won't uh be performing in the show.
Duh. Um, but I think it's going to be this December on her 81st birthday. So, yay for Dolly. Let's hope all that happens. Um, okay. This is about T's wedding. I'm going to keep this. Um, okay. That's really all I don't Stevie's doing nothing and it's summer like nobody's really functioning.
>> No, >> Snoop Dogg's doing Snoop Dog has been doing some World Cup stuff.
>> Yeah, >> he's been hanging around. It's been fun.
>> Y >> um >> Sher nothing.
>> Quiet the beach.
>> I hope everyone's taking a nice vacation.
>> Yeah. That's when people go, "When you say you're going to retire, do you mean that?" Oh my god, yes. I've had so much fun the last week and a half and then it starts again. And I mean, I like telling jokes, but >> I really like being off.
>> Yeah.
>> I like sleeping with baby cat and not knowing I don't have a flight at 4:00 a.m. I like it >> right >> now. How long would that last?
>> You sound like a cat lady.
>> Well, I didn't go get him. I mean, they just showed up. What are you going to do? Be an [ __ ] and not feed him? And now another one's shown up.
>> Oh, I saw that.
>> It's a tabby cat. Yeah, he's really vocal and he's really cute. He might have a house. He might be double dipping. I don't know. I can't tell. I think he has two situ. And I think he likes these cats. They don't. Two like him, two don't.
>> No fighting. Um, he looks like a teenager. Uh, I don't need another cat.
So, I'm not encouraging that.
>> No.
>> No. Um, all right. We're going to save this one. All right. We're moving in to Hold on.
>> Okay. I'm going to be discombobulated this week because I took a week off and then I'll hell brace loose because I can't get my [ __ ] together. Okay.
>> Oh yeah, I have to talk about what we're watching with um my guest. So my next guest I have known since I've been probably 25 years old. We are now both 104 and he is an esteemed Hollywood booker.
He has booked uh he has segmented produced and booked the Tonight Show for many years. 20 20 >> 13 >> 13 and Chelsea lately when it was on Netflix and the list is just and he is Kelly Clarkson and I don't know if any of you are putting two and two together but I was on the Tonight Show a lot and I was on Kelly Clarkson a lot and um now he's moved on to be the booker for the worldrenowned Jennifer Hudson show. Yay.
>> Um to which my brother goes, "Do people watch that?" Yeah, Pat. Yeah, it's on the day. People like it. I like Jennifer Hudson. I think she's more watchable to me than Drew Barrymore cuz Drew Barrymore makes me uncomfortable. She sits so close to people. I can I don't If I went on that show, I'd have to be like really gear up for this lady's going to sit right next to me. A lot of touching.
>> Yeah.
>> It's just not weird.
>> Irish Catholic big family. Nobody. We're not doing that. We're not hugging.
They're not saying I love you. Excuse me one second. I Oh, I had this on because usually I need it and I don't need it because Holly Bobby is here in person. He has all the scoop. He knows every publicist in Hollywood. My inside track. There's things we can't say out loud, but most of them we can talk about things that are nice. And um >> Bobby knows everything. Please enter.
>> Oh, okay.
>> Yeah.
>> Yeah. This is your queue.
>> We don't have real producers here. We don't have stage directors.
>> You're >> It's good to see you in person. But I have to say something. Let me put these on.
>> Sure.
>> Is it going to affect my new hearing aid?
>> No, it's good. Okay. I can hear I got to bring the phone because when we went out to dinner last night, mother called from the memory care, right? So, let's keep this close. I've got elderly, you know, parents. So, >> um your hair looks good.
>> Thank you. Did you get like bangs and blonde highlights?
>> Bangs?
>> Is that what's different?
>> I'm never getting bangs.
>> Okay.
>> Most people that have bangs got drunk.
>> Yeah.
>> I'm just saying.
>> Hey, my boss had bangs.
>> I I might do it. I don't know. It's fun.
The problem is it's such a commitment.
>> Yeah.
>> Cuz if they don't if you don't like them, just do it on chat GBT. Put your face in a thing of bang.
>> Right. But what you whatever you've done with your hair looks great. It's different from last time.
>> I appreciate it. You can move that pink microphone closer to you. Oh, am I too low?
>> No, just bring it towards you.
>> Okay.
>> Because you're leaning >> um like that.
>> Yeah. I mean, yeah, bring it closer >> even more.
>> Yeah. Then you can sit up straight.
>> I'm trying to sit up straight because I'm getting shorter as I get older and Yeah. Everybody keeps saying it's your posture. Work on your posture. So that's why I'm sitting here trying to work on my posture.
>> We're losing muscle in between our vertebrae.
>> Is that what it is?
>> Yeah.
>> Yeah. I used to be 10 510 and a half.
I'm barely 5'9. Well, I was 51 and a half and I think I'm five.
>> Well, yeah.
>> My mom's 38.
>> You know what's so funny? 38.
>> She's She's actually She's actually a pocket pal. She's actually She's actually in my backpack.
>> That's so funny. That was one of those things where I had to think for a second. I was like, "Oh, I got it."
>> 38 is just a little bit larger than the planter I have on my desk.
>> Well, you were talking about Wimbledon and I was texting you. You look like center. I mean, I can't believe he's You could be Italian.
>> Yeah, I know. He's so white. White white.
>> Yeah. And red hair.
>> Well, he looks like he's Swiss or something, but isn't does Is it northern Italy? This is Oh, [ __ ] >> The blond blondish area.
>> Yeah. The blonde blueeyed >> cuz it's close to Spain. Yeah. I mean, that's They're all kind of white up there, you know?
>> Whitish.
>> Whitish. Yeah. Whitish.
>> Whitish.
>> Um, and I don't even know which Ova won, but one of them won.
>> So, if you to just put money on over, you won.
Weren't they both from Czech? Not Czechalon. Czech Republic.
>> Czech. Yeah. And Martina was there to witness it, which is great because if you watch the Chrissy Ever Martina uh documentary, >> it explains how it was Czechoslovakia, >> right?
>> Back in the day.
>> That's how I remember it.
>> Yes. And Yugoslavia. Yes.
>> And now, but Czechoslovakia, they I like that they divided it and just went, you're Czech and I'm Slovakia. I mean, that's so lazy. Couldn't you? That's just it's like saying if you broke up a state it would be 10 and you're see >> well Yugoslavia they made all different names Bosnia and Herzkavina who we beat in the World Cup right >> I know and where's the largest Bosian um community outside of Bosnia >> I'm going to guess old Hickory Lake >> St. Louis Missouri we have no Bosians here but St. Louis, Missouri. We have tons of Bosnians because during the war, >> I don't know if church It's usually church sponsored things and they bring them all over and they're they're wonderful.
>> Do they work hard?
>> Yes. Okay. Very hard.
>> Are they going to turn St. Louis around?
>> Um there's not enough of them for that.
We need a little bit more, Bob, to turn St. Louis around downtown. We're going to need a little bit more. We're going to need some county cash. And they don't want to give it up.
>> Oh man.
>> That's how that's going to work.
>> I like St. Louis, but I wish they would just like get with it and get in the 21st century. Well, yeah. The problem is unlike Nashville. Yeah.
>> Like I am 15 minutes from downtown.
>> Davidson County out here is quote the county, but so is downtown.
>> Okay.
>> So the money the tax money St. Louis has St. Louis city >> and then St. Louis County. Okay.
>> The county money taxes don't go to the city.
>> Well, the city everyone has left, right?
>> There's no residents. So there's no tax revenues. It's just an ongoing circular problem that needs to be. But then you tell the people in the county, "We want some of your money to go." Just don't even tell them. Yeah. Just say, "Here's your taxes and give some to the city. Do you want a city or not?" They don't care, though. They'd say, "No, I don't want a city." They like being in the suburbs.
>> Well, I I like St. Louis and I love that the arch is on the Mississippi. And I do like the skyline. And I like um what's the hotel that I stay at on the at the on the river? The Weston or something?
>> There's a new downtown. Oh, the Four Seasons. Oh, I haven't seen the Four Seasons there, but I just thought it was beautiful and I was just like, why aren't they building like condos along the river and getting people to move in?
It's great.
>> Yeah, I know. But it's the same thing I said to you about downtown LA 100 years ago when you you and Clark decided to be pink pioneers and be the first gays in land like the Marines. There's no schools.
>> There's no grocery stores. Okay.
>> There's no Walgreens. There's no CVS.
There's no infrastructure. Yeah.
>> So, that rules out anybody with kids.
>> Yeah. So now we're down to single people.
>> Well, I I have to tell you though, even like going to Orange County where my mom lives, you know, and going to the grocery store there, >> they now have security guards >> at the grocery store.
>> At the grocery stores. Yeah. Because people run in and they grab >> Well, food >> razors and Yeah. Then food, steaks, and they run out. I've seen it in Palm Springs, too.
>> I've seen it here. What What um my neighbors Jeff and Debbie called it the Kroger? The bad one. The Murder murder. That explains it.
>> It It's never even occurred to me.
There's meth kids every once in a while there with a pitbull, but I don't care.
And they do the selfch checkckout so they can steal [ __ ] I mean, everybody knows what's going on here. And I don't know that the pitbull that it's a gigantic Yeah. And I don't feel like that girl who has him, she weighs less than him because of the meth. I don't Maybe let the guy hold it is all I'm saying. So, >> um, >> well, I have Hollywood news. Okay. Well, do you want to start or should we can we just start a little bit backwards for Tay's wedding?
>> Okay. Okay. Talk about that.
>> Before you talk about Tay, I do think there is some share queen news.
>> When I was sitting there waiting >> to Yeah. After um Maria made my martini or my Bloody Mary downstairs, Kathleen has a full-time bartender downstairs.
>> I wish I did.
>> I'm staring at the liquor room as I speak and I'm like, that is a liquor store.
>> I know. So when my nephew goes, "Why do you have all this upstairs, cat?" I go, "Because grandma can't walk upstairs and grandma can't see that and grandma can't judge." And we also keep that door shut just in case she gets an inkling to come picking around up here. You keep that shut, Jack, at all times.
>> Yes.
>> He's like, "Got it. Got it. Got it. Got it." I said, "Most of it's from fans."
>> Yeah, >> it's from fans.
>> Well, it's a lot.
>> It is a lot.
>> It is a lot.
>> But it was really great during co >> Yeah. I remember that's where you when you put it together during co It looks like it looks like Costco an aisle in Costco.
>> It's a Costco closet.
>> But Shar, she's putting her house up for sale or it's up for sale.
>> Yeah. For 80 mil. 80 million, right?
>> Oh, okay.
>> Do you think Sher's doing open houses?
>> Well, you know who would know? My friend Ron Thomas.
>> Oh, call him the realtor. The Gay West Hollywood realtor.
>> Well, I mean, >> ask him.
>> I'll ask him. Ron knows everything.
>> Do it. when I was looking for a place to live um on Mondays when I would get home from the road, he would take me and he would tell me straight up, there's nothing you're going to like, but do you want to go >> um see I have a crack house you can look at? And then it would be like Lindsay Lohan's apartment that was for sale and then we go get a piece of pizza and a diet coke.
>> Okay, while you're texting them, I want to share with the termites.
>> We want to know if if if um waiting open she's doing open.
But in the meantime, I wore something special and I put a lot of thought into this.
>> Oh, >> I want I knew that the camera would be on and I brought my favorite favorite Kathleen Madigan tour t-shirt.
>> I get so many compliments on this. So does Clark, >> you know, and Clark is so skinny now.
He's down to a medium.
>> He's tight.
>> Tight. Um, and we get so many compliments when we um wear this out in Palm Springs or on a plane and people go, "Where can I get that?" And we go to >> gathermadigan.com.
>> That's right.
>> Tada.
>> Oh, you're day drinking.
>> Day drinking.
>> Yeah.
>> We get so many compliments. People stop us on the street. Yeah.
>> Do you like to wear that to a brunch on a Sunday in Palm Springs?
>> Yeah, I do. I do. Cuz we Everybody comes and talks to us.
>> And are is everybody fancy or casual?
>> Everybody's casual cuz it's summer.
because they can't you can't wear long pants right now. It's so hot.
>> Yes.
>> And you had a Barry Manalo sighting out there.
>> Well, yeah. He was at the Jensen's uh grocery store. That's the high-end place like the um it's like the uh what's what's the fancy what the foods?
>> Whole Foods. Thank you. Yeah. It's like the Whole Foods in the desert. And he was just out there doing a shopping cart. You saw the paparazzi thing.
>> Yeah. Yeah.
>> Yeah. Yeah.
>> I did.
>> He looks skinny.
>> He's always been skinny though. Yeah.
>> I mean, I saw a show like 5 years ago and I I said I mean, what does he weigh?
Like 90.
>> Like he's a skinny dude. Always has been.
>> Yeah.
>> So, I don't think that's sickness. I think it's just his physique. Well, >> and he's old now. So, >> yeah, he's 80ome, but also too, I think he probably wanted people to see him out and about shopping and looking.
>> I thought it was weird he had a long sleeve shirt on. Now, I'm always cold, so I always wear something heavy into the grocery store cuz it's freezing, >> right?
>> But in the desert, I don't wear long sleeve cotton shirts in the desert because I don't want to get skin cancer.
>> So, yeah. So, >> yeah, I do that. And if I go in the pool here today, if we make it in the pool after the game, >> yeah, I'll have my water shirt on, too.
>> Nice.
>> Oh, okay. I have a water shirt.
>> Yeah, but it's from a grocery store at the Lake of the Ozark, so I'm not sure.
I don't I don't I don't think it really works. It says, you know, sun, whatever, but probably not. But then I went online to get one for the really did and I did buy one but it was so thick I'm like I'm not wearing this.
>> Yeah, >> it wasn't thin.
>> Mine's thin. It's comfortable.
>> Well, I'll have to get your brand.
>> Okay, there's a label on it.
>> Let's talk about Taye's wedding before we go on just a briefly. I know it's been overtalked to death and blah blah blah blah. Um, if you would have gotten an invitation, would you have gone?
>> Yeah.
>> Yes.
>> And I would have tried to sneak my iPhone in.
>> You know, I mean, what are they going to do? Like not invite me to the next wedding?
>> Oh. Right.
>> Do you know who didn't go?
>> Blake Lively.
>> One of my favorite people on earth.
>> Um Blake Lively, >> but not because he was mad.
>> No.
>> He just said, "I'm old." This is how I would feel.
>> Ed Harris.
>> He goes, "I'm old and I don't feel like >> Harris."
>> Well, I'll do his voice. I'll do an impression. See if you can guess who. I mean, I don't know this person personally, but it was on the news. Um, uh, you know, I'm old and I don't feel like >> he's putting on all these clothes and fancy and dealing with the people and I wish him well, but I just didn't go.
>> What's your guest paddles?
>> It's a black guy.
>> Yes. He's my favorite person on earth who wish you would run for president.
>> Oh, I know.
>> Say it.
>> Did you meet him at the Tonight Show?
>> Nope. I've never met him in my life.
>> I was going to say Shaq. Not Shaq.
>> That did not challenge. Shaq is a little goofy.
>> Yeah, Shaq's >> Oh, I know who it is. You said you're close. I know. I know the answer.
>> Michael Jordan.
>> No. God, no.
>> No. No. Michael Jordan's not my favorite person.
>> Well, he's doesn't do >> He drinks and he gamles.
>> Yeah. Well, he likes sports and he opens and he opens free medical clinics in North Carolina. So, that's lovely. But Michael is known to be problematic. Who is Michael's best exfriend?
>> Charles Barkley. That's right, Got it, >> Sir Charles. But I'm with Charles. Wait, there's going to be a thousand people there and I got to go to New York and I got to He didn't feel like it. And we're old enough now. You should be able to go. Yeah, I'm good.
>> Yeah.
>> Yeah. Which which is interesting to talk about who was there and stuff like that because that Ritz Carlton was celebrity central.
>> Oh, yeah.
>> In in Manhattan connected to the Madison Square Garden. So, I thought it was interesting, you know, because you can leave the Ritz Carlton and go underground to Madison Square Garden in the tunnel. And so, you avoid the traffic, you avoid the avoid the paparazzi and the fans.
>> It was interesting because some of the people just trapesed out of the >> Yeah.
>> the Carlton front door. Yeah. At the front door.
>> Well, I think I would have done that except it was so hot if I'm all done up.
>> Yeah. Your makeup's going to melt.
>> Yeah. And my hair is going to fly away.
And >> so, it was interesting. Guarant I'm guaranteeing Stevie Queen Stevie didn't walk out the front door. Oh my god, what's going to happen to my hair? Cuz she has naturally frizzy hair.
>> I know a person who did her hair.
>> Okay.
>> And she said I had to blow it all out. I said, >> "Oh." She goes, "No, without blowing her hair out that her hair looks thick and and crazy."
>> Funny enough, the hair the hairdresser that did her hair, Stevie, for the wedding is Robert Ramos. And I worked with him at the Kelly Clarkson show because he did Kelly's hair and he flew to New York to do Steviey's hair.
>> Yeah. For the wedding. Yeah. So there's Yeah. And Robert, >> but we still haven't gotten the information. What did Stevie sing at the wedding? I know.
>> I feel like a failure. I mean, how can like >> Yeah. You're supposed to know.
>> I know. Sorry.
>> You're supposed to know.
>> I know. But like Nobody's leaking anything. They're all being very tight lipped. Everybody that's gone.
>> Do you think it'll happen though? Like in a month?
>> Oh, I think so. How can it not come out?
>> Yeah.
>> Well, I don't know.
>> I Here's my feeling on it. They invited a thousand people. And I understand how this can get out of hand. It happens in our families cuz we're we have big families. Me and Holly Bobby does too.
>> Yeah.
>> Um if you're like, well, if we invite the MCU, we have to invite the dumpsters. And if we invite the dumpsters, and you can't have their kids come without the other kids, and it just becomes a thing after a thing. Like you have to have to have to have to even and most of them you want but like you're trying to part down a list you can't >> a thousand people and there was rumors that Tay and Travy didn't even know some like they don't nobody really knows George Stephanopoulos >> he's like 65 like this is not one of their bffs. I can't place him. He's not an athlete. He's not a single person. I think they invited I think it was a cover your ass thing.
>> Yeah. So you don't >> I think they invited every single morning show, every sports show.
>> Yeah, >> I know people in St. Louis that got invited that are sports people. I don't need to go into that, but >> like it was I I was like, really? They invited him? Okay. I mean, it's weird.
It's just weird. I think the whole list was a comprehensive media thing in addition to their friends, right?
>> And they got married somewhere else and had a party. My thing would be though, why do I have to do that?
I mean, maybe she always dreamed of a big wedding, you know. I don't know.
I'm not the one that was getting married. I got married on a patio and I called a Justice of the Peace from um Next Door app ad and he came over and he was an ordained thing or whatever and he signed our marriage license.
>> Was anyone there?
>> Clark's mom and dad, my mom and Clark's brother. Um Tim didn't want to take off work. Leanne went on vacation and Kelly was in court.
>> That's romantic.
>> Did you have a party afterwards?
>> We went to Flemings at downtown by Staple Center. I refused to say Crypto Arena, but we went to uh Flemings and had steaks.
>> Okay. Yeah, perfect. Well done.
>> And martinis and went to bed early and I had to go to work the next day.
>> Love you.
>> I actually left work. I was actually working at Netflix and I said, "Hey, I'm going to take off early today >> and go get married on the patio."
>> They go, "Is everything okay?" And I'm like, "Yeah, I got to go get married."
>> We're good.
>> We're have to go to the DMV and get my new license, please.
>> But anyway, with Tay Wait, so I I think you're right because with you mentioned George Stephanopoulos, he works with Robin Roberts and Michael Strahan and they're all in ABC's Good Morning America. Yes, I'm aware.
>> And she's a regular on that show, >> right?
>> That's the morning show she does. So, she's probably like, "Yeah, right. I don't want to piss anybody off." She probably had to bring invite the weather girl, too, you know? Right.
>> So, >> Right. Well, and people can talk smack about like, as you know, if you listen to this podcast, I'm not a Swifty. I don't mind her.
>> I know.
>> Paddles.
>> Paddles is down a mic today, too. So, don't anybody yell about why did they paddle mic? is we gave it to Hollib um for this episode.
>> I'm holding one in my hand.
>> Oh, okay. It just doesn't work.
>> It just doesn't work. So, keep holding on to that.
>> Yeah.
>> Why the [ __ ] you holding it? It doesn't work. Just put it down.
Jesus Christ.
>> This is professional.
>> This whole thing is free. Just remember that. Whole thing is free.
>> Hey, I flew myself in.
>> That's right. You know wardrobe. Brought your own shirt.
>> You got a free drink?
>> I got a free drink. This is so good. I know. I know. I know.
>> I am. I want another one. Do you think Maria can come upstairs and make them?
Maria, >> it's Can It's Canuela.
>> Oh [ __ ] I better apologize.
>> Here's what you want to say though. I don't And I do not I think Taylor does very nice things and I think Travis seems like a very fun uh Ohio Midwesty smash beer cans on your head kind of guy. Like I think I would like him. They did however talk all the [ __ ] you want cuz we were like they've disrupted the city for three days. First of all, I know a [ __ ] ton of New York people and if they can get out of the city on that weekend, they're gone, right? The city's empty 90% of the time. There's a Well, they donated $26 million.
>> Good for them.
>> Um to more than 20 charities. 2 million >> going to the Dolly Part Imagination Library specifically to make up for what the Missouri Republican legislature did and cut cut the budget. They made it back up. And I think that's because Travis plays for the Chiefs. So, boom.
Let's help Missouri, but it's also helping Tennessee cuz Tay's got her place here. Very good. They um City Harvest Food Bank, New York Cares, Los Angeles Regional Food Bank. I won't read them all, but Oh, PA cuz she's from Pennsylvania.
>> Helping Harvest, that's in Reading.
Rhode Island Food Bank. Oh, cuz she has a house there.
>> Like, God, this never ends. Do I have to have meetings about to give money to where every uh feeding that goes Dolly Parton's imaginal? So, a lot are national, but a lot are local. Um, oh, for Tay Tay after school all stars in Cleveland got some money.
>> Um, it's a very generous um they're very generous. So, even if they cause some traffic problems, >> but you said it was a holiday weekend.
It was July 3rd. Every New Yorker was in the Hamptons or they were at Jones Beach or the gays were in Fire Island. who's complaining.
>> I don't know.
>> And also people and people give her a hard time and like you know somebody said something like she was on a video at a concert or something like that and people started to boo and I'm like >> why are you booing this woman?
>> How dare you?
>> I know when that happened. So Alan Jackson had his final concert here in Nashville and at at the um the stadium >> Bridgestone or Nissan?
>> No, he was at Nissan. It was outside.
Oh, okay. cuz the weather was very tentative like tornadoy and all this kind of [ __ ] >> like last night like during our promo >> where you see our promo thing >> paddle houses out there in the rain I'm just like I'm going to die >> well it was tiny drizzly when we started and within 28 seconds the video ends it's the shortest video I've ever done >> I ran because there was lightning >> we ran like there was a tornado at the bottom of Broadway coming up to eat our asses >> um uh >> anyway Neon.
>> So Alan Jackson, so he had a bunch of opening acts. They went out and then they did this video tribute >> and they were trying to stall for time.
They were going to show it anyway, but it was also a good stalling tactic. And Tay, she met him when she was young and and the and he helped her and she just This is why I don't understand the hatred for her.
>> And I'm not even like a fan fan, right?
I'm just casual, whatever. Um, she just wanted to say something nice about a guy who's retiring and he's kind of sick. And what >> why would you I think they boo because they're if you're an Allen Jackson fan, you are old school country >> and they don't think she's country.
Well, everybody on the video doesn't have to [ __ ] be country just to say I really like you and good luck. Why does it have to be >> I don't know. I thought it was extremely weird.
>> I think it's just rude. That's immature.
Well, it's immature. It's rude.
>> What adult does that? It's like she's not even a political figure. I can understand a political figure, you know, but the other thing, too, is like I would not boo a successful 36y old woman who is talented >> or anybody. No. If it's some 36-y old rapper I've never heard of, if he's got something nice to say, that's fine.
>> Well, it's like you and I were Yeah.
Exactly. Exactly. Like, but also too, like I >> um we were watching those um Star Spangle Banner or national anthem videos this morning.
>> People are trashing Patty Leel >> for the Was it the All-Star game? Yeah.
>> Yeah. All-star game last night in Philadelphia cuz she's from Philadelphia. She's 82 >> and it was great. I don't know what they're they're like I >> It's Philly.
>> It Well, I the Philly people and and this is full disclosure. My sister-in-law Ellie is from Philly. I'm very familiar. Um they were booing. So at the All-Star game in the home run derby, there's guys just up there wagging it balls. Wagging balls. They let the outfield be kids, >> right?
>> Yeah.
>> And they were booing the kids who didn't catch the ball.
>> They're like 10. They're so mean.
>> They're 10 and they're trying to catch fly balls from elite baseball.
>> Right. Right. Why don't you just go out and smack them in the [ __ ] face?
>> Yeah. I thought Patty Leel's version was absolutely fine. I don't understand.
>> I liked it. We've seen other We want some other ones that were pretty tricky.
And yeah, no, no, we can't we can't talk names because we'll get in trouble in Hollywood.
>> I I know. And I'll get in trouble with the friendship. I can't do that. I'm like, whoa, what happened to my my pal here? She's a little off tune. Um, I'll tell you one of the the most creepy Well, not creepy is the wrong word. Um, haunting haunting versions I've ever seen. And I do not care one way or another about Winona Jud.
>> My friend Heidi in St. Louis >> uh really loves Winona. Like there's Winona's got her fan base that is die hards and the Juds. It goes all the way.
I I think she's fine. What her she did the national anthem at the Kentucky Derby with her husband Cactus playing like a Civil War drum.
>> It It's haunting. Haunting is a good word.
>> Yeah. And one of the >> Well, she has a great voice anyway, Winona. But she just made it so different with the >> really good.
>> Yeah.
>> And it sounds like an old old drum death march.
>> It It really took you back to feeling like what the country was about fighting for independence and fighting for democracy. Yeah. This is freedom.
>> Yeah. This is somebody's going to die today >> and it's probably going to be that little drummer boy and nobody gives a [ __ ] He's 12 cuz they put a ad in the paper needed orphans and he showed up.
There's a That's why I used to love that museum in DC. They had all the old newspapers that was called the news. Oh >> and they had full page ads during the civil war. Need orphans and like they'd sign you up for a job when you're 12.
That's why you know everybody [ __ ] now. I don't really feel like working in really.
>> Did you find Did you see? Yeah, I know.
But >> you want to be a drummer in the Civil War.
>> Yeah.
>> If if you're an orphan already, >> your life hasn't been [ __ ] enough. I'm going to put you in the first line that attacks the other line.
Well, did you see that? They found those bones of that 13-year-old uh soldier from the seven What was the Revolutionary War? They found him in a shallow grave. Oh, no, not they found other bones. They found a mass graveyard or something from the um Revolutionary War in South Carolina. I was going to send the story to you.
>> Oh, >> and um >> I didn't see it.
>> They finally identified this kid's bones after 250 years, let's say, cuz it's the 250th anniversary, >> right? through DNA testing because um somebody sent in some one of those swabs and they were able to trace him.
>> Yeah.
>> Yeah.
>> Wow. 13 years old. They identified him and his name and everything and that he was he was an he signed up at 13. I think his parents didn't have any money or something in South Carolina or something was the backstory or something.
>> All right.
>> They needed money. So, we're gonna tell everybody to go watch Winona's version at the Kentucky. Put in Google Winona Jud National Anthem Kentucky Derby.
>> It's the other one that I really liked.
Everybody knows Whitney Houston's is great.
>> Oh, yeah.
>> I'd say another top three is um Meatloaf.
>> Yeah, you showed me that. I was shocked.
>> It's shocking. He's almost operetic.
Yes.
>> Like it's crazy great. And I thought, "Oh, everybody just sings that thinks of his the hits of Meatloaf and they don't think he was like really a singer. Let me sleep on it."
I love Meatloaf. But anyway, that was I don't know why everybody's so mad at Patty Leel. I thought it was absolutely fine. And yeah, she's 82. Glattis Knight was here at the Ryman. She's like 90,000 years. I mean, and still does a great show.
>> Yeah.
>> Yeah. I mean, you know the old saying, black don't crack. The voice The voices aren't cracking either.
>> The voices are not cracking. I got to tell you, Patty Leelle and Glattus Knight are two of the nicest people I've ever met.
>> Are they? Did you book them on something?
>> Well, when I was a kid, I was an assistant for this management company.
And um I I will make this Were you sex trafficked?
>> I was sex trafficked from from Orange County, California out out of Saddleback Community College. I was sex trafficked.
>> Okay. Is this before you were an on air reporter for your local news station?
>> It was after.
>> Oh, after. Okay.
>> After 88 KSQTV News, I'm Robert Reid.
Look it up on YouTube.
>> Anyway, but no, Glattis, this is a funny story.
>> Great.
>> This is like because I'm I'm gay. So like when I walk into a restaurant or something like you know I know that people look at me and go, "Oh, there's the gay guy."
>> Coming in the restaurant >> cuz you have the best haircut.
>> I'm I'm growing back my hair. Could you tell Oh my god. Let's tell the Kelly Clarkson story about being on the set.
No, no, not let this I'll make it quick.
Termites so I don't bore you and you guys will never have me back.
I was working as an assistant for this comedy manager and she said, "We need to break into the Vegas market." Meanwhile, she's doing cocaine in her bathroom. I'm sitting there answering the phones and trying to book the clients.
>> Got it.
>> So, I start calling the hotel's entertainment division and I got a bite from the entertainment director at the Desert In and he goes, "We have a lot of um celebrities like Glattus Knight and blah blah blah, just tons, you know, Kenny Loggins and they need comedians as opening acts. We can pay him $500 and give him two nights free and fly him in.
>> That's what I did for Vicky Carr.
>> Okay, there you go. Yeah.
>> Oh, your dad loved Vicky Carr.
>> He Yeah, >> he's so excited.
>> I will tell you what he said after this.
Go ahead. It was >> Oh, I think were you at like Leome?
>> What's Leome?
>> Oh, that's Jaylen O's story. Okay. Okay.
Okay. Vicki, >> mine is in Atlantic City. And it's what my dad said when I asked cuz she was my mom's favorite singer. Yeah.
>> Okay. Well, Vicki, it was a very random for comedians to open for singers in my generation was weird. That was the older generation. They all did that. Like Frank Sinatra had Tom Dreon. Like they had comedians, but that just wasn't a thing for people my age.
>> And I don't know, my old manager Bernie, who was the greatest ever like Yeah, Bernie was great. And he whatever. He he goes, "Do you want to open for Vicky Carr?" And it was just so crazy that he said that name. I'm like, I've had to listen to every Vicky Carr album and they're so depressing. And my mom would drink and just get sadder and sadder and you don't have to say you love me, just be close at hand. I'm like, that's not a good self-esteem statement. Let's diagn let's just unwrap what she just said.
You don't have to say you love me, just be close at hand. You don't have to stay forever. I will understand. Believe me.
So anyway, I say to my parents, I call them. I go, "Hey, weird thing. I have a bunch of miles on American and St. Louis was all American." I go, "Do you guys want to come to Atlantic City >> and see Vicky Carr?" And I hear my mom go, "Absolutely. I love Vicky Carr." And and my dad goes, "Well, hold on. Can you call somebody and ask if the whole goddamn thing's in Spanish?" And I go, "What? cuz she's Mexican. She's part Mexican. Yeah.
>> Yeah. And he goes, "Oh, Christ. I can't sit through a whole Spanish. I can't hear." And then it's in a different language. I go, "What are you talking about? I've heard a 100 albums that are in English." And I go, "You want me as a $500 opening act to call Vicky Carr's manager and go, "Hi, is it going to be that Spanish [ __ ] Cuz my dad would like to know." I go, "I'm not doing that, Dad. It's You're on your own here." I don't know. Well, then her manager was not nice.
>> Oh, >> she was she was very nice. But I said, >> "Oh, she had a new album she was plugging at this Atlantic City show."
And I go, "Oh, you know, my mom listened to a lot of those albums and I I know three of them really good." And he whipped around. He goes, "She has 39."
And I was like, "Oh, well, hey, I'm 26 years old. I don't [ __ ] know." Like, I thought I was being complimentary and I really do know the songs and stuff.
And then she did the greatest in my life up until now. I've never seen a better throw out of of a of a heckler. She's singing I love remember that song. I love you, baby. And if it's quite all right, I need you baby for the lonely night.
When I say, "Oh, pretty baby." Well, this guy starts yelling. He they Atlantic City had these long tables and everybody seated and he goes, >> "I don't like this song. Move on."
>> In the middle of her song and she goes, "I love you, baby. Throw him out. And if it's all right, I need you, baby." And she was in motion. And I I'm sitting on the side like as a 26-year-old going, I I I've never seen anything who first of all, who heckles Vicky Carr, right?
>> She's one of the greatest voices and she's the first Selena. M >> all the youngsters want to say Selena's the first crossover. Well, how about Linda Ronstat?
>> I was going to say Linda Ronstat. She did a whole album in Spanish, too.
>> Oh, I know. She's done whole like summer festivals.
>> Yeah.
>> Yeah. She's cuz her I love her. Her her dad is German. Her mom's Mexican.
>> Okay.
>> Yeah. So, if you >> or Yeah. Who's the Oh, Linda Carter.
Irish dad. Mexican mom. So, if you can get an Irish person to get with a Mexican, we create Linda Carter.
>> Oh, she's beautiful. I need to find a Mexican guy at this old age of my life and go let's make one Linda Carter.
>> But anyway, I don't know why I got off onto Vicki >> cuz we were talking about Glattus Night in Vegas. Okay, so go ahead. Mine is real quick and I don't I don't have a good punchline for this story. I don't need a punch line. Okay, that was good.
Um, that was a good story. That's a talk show story. Can you say that story on the Jennifer Hudson show?
>> You write this down. I'll save it for the six people who still know who Vicky Carr is.
I think I think you're also working on some Olympics jokes.
>> I am. I am. I have winter and summer sets. I have winter joke, winter Olympic jokes, ice skating, and then a summer >> termites. We'll tell Kathleen will tell the story, the real story behind that inside joke at a later date.
>> Yes, I will. I will. Or never. I don't know. We might do it again. We're going to do it again, Bob. One more time. One more time on the Jennifer Hudson show.
>> Um, but so I >> Summer Olympics in two years.
So, I booked that comedian Rick Corso cuz he was with this management company cuz he always used to love to do the Vegas stuff and whatever and Reno and the cruise ships.
>> I kind of know him.
>> Yeah. And well, this is like 30 years ago, 35 years.
>> I mean, I've heard of him, by the way.
>> Yeah. And so, they also gave um the road manager or a manager an extra room for the opening act. So, he goes, "Do you want the room?" And I said, "Yeah, I'll drive in. I'll drive in and go."
>> So, Glattus Knight comes in Rick's dressing room, >> okay, >> herself and says, "You're really funny.
Do you guys want to come to the afterparty tonight? And we're like, oh, there's an afterparty? Sure. We go to the afterparty. And this is in the old days before the desert end was implo imploded and it's now the wind in I liked it as the desert end.
>> It was nice. And then but I did not know this, but there were private cassitas behind the hotel and she had this huge twostory, you know, cassita house. Yeah.
>> Rick and I walk in. Guess what? We're the only two white people in 200 people in this room.
>> Well, now you know how black people feel half the time.
>> Gay people. And that's why I prefaced and gave the contacts and I was like, "Oh, this is >> now you know how uh straight people feel on a gay cruise."
>> Right. Right. But Glattus Knight was so nice. She comes over. She goes, "You guys came." She goes, "Let me introduce you to the to the pips."
>> And I didn't have a camera cuz they're so digital at the time. I'm like, "Oh, [ __ ] I got to meet Glattus night in the pips and I was like 22 years old and I was like it was a highlight. She was so cool.
>> Well, you know, Lewis did a pilot with her, a sitcom. Yeah. Um and he loved her. He said she was the nicest person ever.
>> Um >> I think a lot of those old lady George uh Wallace, one of my favorite older comedians.
>> He's always nice.
>> He always remembers you, too. Or he >> he's like a mayor of every town, every green room. He's so sweet and he's very sincere, but he's really really funny.
And most black people know who George is, but I'd say white people maybe kind of know like more white people should know who he is, but like he did black radio forund thousand years and stuff. So he's very >> and I mean I watched George do a preachers convention where he made fun of them >> cuz he's very religious. Like he does this. Yeah. He knows uh Joel Ostein but he makes fun of him. He goes uh Kathleen uh do do you mean my friend? my friend.
And he won't stop blinking. I'm like, "George, stop it." It's so funny though.
He's like, "Yeah, I'm gonna try to be nicer next time there's a flood and open my store, open my church for people who need somewhere to get out of a place of dying."
But he can do that within it cuz he's part of it. Like, but George was at this Southern Baptist convention and and there's all these preachers, all these southern and they're they're probably 50 black 50% black and white. But he goes, "Want you all stand up?" And so they all stand up and then he just keeps talking and talking and talking and goes, "Y'all tired yet? Cuz that's how we feel."
He totally jerked them all off. They didn't even saw did not see it go. I don't know. But uh George says uh that Patty, he loves Patty Le.
>> She's nice.
>> And George is not a bad judge of character. No. So, and her food is delicious. Her pies.
>> She brought her food on Kelly Clarkson and did a taste test. And this was when we were allowed to be in the studio before co >> um and there was so much leftover we all ate it in the they put it all in the kitchen and it was delicious.
>> Well, George reads her pie recipe out loud on stage.
>> Oh no.
>> Butter and sugar.
>> Yeah. But then he correct then he >> That's why it was so good.
>> It's so It's so funny when he he reads it cuz like as an older man you just don't think a dude would do that. And he's like this. Let me tell you what's in Miss Patty's pies. Let me tell you what's in He go, "Uh, seven pounds of butter. Not enough. Put in nine." But he goes through each thing. It's very, very funny. But I don't know why we even got straight off.
>> I'll let me tell this quick story. So, about chefs, if you don't mind.
>> Okay. I don't know any chefs.
>> Do you want another uh player?
>> Yeah. Send her up. Send the girl up.
>> There is no girl. Stop it. You make sound like I have household help.
>> All right.
No, I'm um I'll have a cold beer. This ultra got this ultra got kind of warm.
>> Well, we need to have beers um in about 30 minutes the game starts. So, >> I know. I know.
>> Um we Clark and I when I was at the Tonight Show, a regular guest was Paula Dean.
>> Oh my god. My friend Vic Henley, let's go see his jokes. Remember >> I know Vic Henley. I know.
>> Are we supposed to say something like, you know, when you talk about a dead person like the late my good No. Um, yeah, you're supposed to say bless his soul or something.
>> Yeah, bless his bless his heart. No, this is I don't know.
>> All right, so rest in peace.
>> The late Beckham.
>> Yeah, but he he he cuz he was southern, he had this thing about Paulyine that ended up being like seven minutes long.
It's on >> wherever you Yes. Well, I don't know about YouTube, but I know s like on >> uh Spotify and stuff like it's and it's so funny. Um, but yes. And I You got to meet her.
>> Yes. This is pre-cancella cancellation >> before she before she said the bad things. She said very bad things.
>> She said bad things and that you know that's just bad management too. Not only is she racist, she's a bad manager talking [ __ ] about her employees. I don't like that.
>> Well, yeah, but would I It's goes back to Vick's joke. Would I not expect a 75year-old southern woman? Would it shock me if I walked in her kitchen and she said those things? It would not shock me.
>> Okay. I'm just saying it's not right.
It's not okay. Especially when you're a public figure.
>> No. And you're the owner of the restaurant. I mean, you could get sued.
>> But here's what's weird. If you go to Gatlinburg, which is right by beyond where Dolly Parton's from, Seirville, >> there's still a Paulyine store. Well, there's a Paulyine restaurant here that operate. But the Paulyine store, it's on the main drag.
>> There's a lot of stuff I want to buy. I know. And I won't do it cuz I'm like, I can't. No, >> but then I think Vic would have said, "Buy it.
>> Buy it and don't tell anybody."
>> Yeah. He'd go, "Just buy it. Don't tell people it's fall. And if you really want it, you know what? The Lord will make that money right. Don't worry about it.
It'll all get fixed in the end." And somehow Vic had a way of just talking me into like doing something that I thought was morally iffy. I'm like, I don't know.
>> Well, I take claim when I have people over and, you know, cook pasta and they go, "Oh, did you make the sauce?" I said, "Yeah, I made the sauce." And that's not a lie, but I did open the Ryo's jar and eat the sauce.
>> Was so was Paula.
>> Oh, so she was a regular. And one of the things I like about my job, and Kathleen, you know this cuz you've seen it and you get it too, is like people give you free [ __ ] right? Yes. Like I mean I've have free like trips and all that kind of stuff. So Paulo was a regular on the show on the Tonight Show and we were going to Savannah and Clark and I were like going, "Oh, let's go to that restaurant Savannah that she owns."
Right.
>> Yeah. Right.
>> I can't remember the name of it. The the mom and the two sons.
>> I think they were actually called um Paddles will know.
>> Okay.
>> She knows more about all that, but hey, Paddles.
>> She's down in the bar talking to Canuelo.
>> Paddles. Can you hear me?
>> Yeah.
>> What was the name of Paulyine's restaurant in Savannah?
>> Mother and Sons.
>> Uh yeah.
>> Okay. mother and sister.
>> Oh, you knew it. Okay. I would have never known that. I've never been in a Paulyine restaurant.
>> Well, let me tell you, you don't I mean, thank God they closed down, but anyway, she's like this renowned chef or cook or whatever.
>> Is the food not good?
>> The lady and sons.
>> The lady and sons. Oh, thank you.
>> Thank you.
>> I have $5 in my backpack. Should I give it to Canuela?
>> Yeah. You know who made that? Baby cat.
>> That's for >> Oh, that's for you.
>> That's for Kathy.
>> I know. I was like, why am I getting a light? Miller light. Um, so we go on loyalty.
>> We ate >> I had the fried green tomatoes. Clark won't eat tomatoes. And they were >> so good.
>> They were terrible.
>> Oh. Oh, by the way. Oh, so they knew I got the reservation from the producer at the Tonight Show, my colleague. Guess where they sat us?
>> Next to the bus station. And I thought I was getting a comped meal cuz >> Oh, >> they they gave me the bill. And I >> You know who I am, >> right? I'm like, we put her on the Tonight Show every freaking three months. This restaurant has a line out the door because >> Yeah.
>> We write questions for you, right?
>> So, I'm there and then we had mint jeulips. And I said to Clark, I go, "This food just really isn't good." And Clark's like, "No, it's not. I can't even finish it." We go, "Let's go back to the hotel."
>> Oh, I'm shocked she didn't have like fried chicken, mashed potatoes, like comfort food.
>> Oh, the fried chicken. Yeah, it is chicken.
>> The fried chicken is is good.
>> Oh, yeah. Yeah, >> she still has a restaurant here at Opryland.
>> Let's go try it. And let's say we don't like it.
>> My friend Dusty Slay, the comedian, he loves to eat there.
>> Okay.
>> Takes the family.
>> Well, we walked back to the hotel and it was very humid. I'll give I'll give Paula that. That might have been part of the problem. And I had mint jeulips >> permanently closed >> at Opryland.
>> The lady in.
>> Oh.
>> Oh, yeah. No, that's closed. Well, what about the one on Operand?
>> Who cares?
>> I don't know. Well, we're just checking in. So I said to Clark, "People are we're not staying dumb here. We're learning things.
>> We're learning things. We're learning things. What segment are we on?
>> I don't know. We should go to this the Spanish one." So then, so I said to Clark, "We're walking through an alley and I go, "You got to give me a minute."
And I remember holding on to this dumpster in this alley in Savannah. I puked.
>> I puked. And he goes, >> Rose, >> he goes, "Was that your dinner?" And I go, "Yeah." And I feel so much better.
>> Oh god.
So much better now.
>> I don't know. I heard that she lost a lot of weight.
>> But who cares? I don't care. I don't keep track of >> Paulyine.
>> Well, but Vic did cuz he kept um uh doing it in his thing. So, >> should I stay or should I go turn on the game?
>> Stay. Have you watched um >> The game is delayed. So, >> you're kidding.
>> But it's indoors.
>> They're having trouble getting >> It's Atlanta. Oh, >> do you want to say tell everybody what you thought of Atlanta?
>> You loved Atlanta.
>> Well, here's what I No, I loved I loved Atlanta. No, I'm not going to talk about the hotel situation, but here's what I was in a nice hotel. They did not have enough staff and it was like it took them by surprise. They act like there was a pop-up World Cup game. That's what they acted like. Like, you've known for 10 10 years. 10 [ __ ] years this has been on the calendar guaranteed to happen. Can you not? I had like, you know, and I'm 60. This lady was probably 65. I hate that she's still having to away tables, right? And but she was so bad. She didn't even know she was bad.
Like she we had horrible service. My brother ordered something for Kevin like a a Shirley Temple or some Yeah. Some fancy hot dog and a Shirley Temple. And you know, she forgets to drink and then I go to make they didn't know how to make an Irish coffee. So I went and I went and made my own. I'm like, "Do you have whipped cream?" And the guy was like, "Uh." And I'm like, "Dude, I will more than happily do this myself. I bartended. I get it. No problem. You're swamped."
>> That lady was such a bad server. Tipped her anyway. I will always do that.
>> Well, well, she was good spirited. She just It was crazy that she's like the only person working, but she also didn't act very flustered. And then the next day, if I'm her and I see me and my brother again, I go, "Oh, yeah. I kind of didn't give Oh no. Hi. Hi. Oh my god.
Did you guys have fun? Did you have fun at the game?" And Patrick's like, "Holy Jesus." I'm like, "I know. Do not order anything from her. It will take a 100 years." Um, but the rest of it, the the stadium was great. I I'd never been in the new Atlanta. Well, it's not new, but new to me. Atlanta Falcon Stadium. and and Arthur Blank thousand thumbs up. Beers were eight bucks.
>> Oh, >> every stadium's different.
>> Yeah.
>> $8 so far. You know, they'd be 15, you know. Oh, 15. Try 20 for 20 bucks. Yeah.
And you know what I liked about what I like about the whole World Cup thing is also um at all the stadiums, it's not Sofi Stadium. It's not Levi Stadium.
They cover up the advertising.
>> They take all that. They had to cover it up. The Mercedes, we're at the Mer, Isn't that the Mercedes? What's the Falcons one? Uh, yeah.
>> But the stadium was beautiful. Uh, the food and stuff worked great. The beers work great. The FanFest. I don't really understand. It's like you said, those fanfest, they got I don't know, spin a wheel and win a keychain. I I just don't give a [ __ ] Like, when we lived, >> I thought there'd be more stuff for kids. Like Kevin 13 and he loves soccer.
Like score a goal, right?
>> Like get a real >> like run the bases at a baseball game.
>> Exactly. put up um you know a net and get a goalie guy that's 20 years old that looks like a real man and have him be the fake goalie and let the kids or don't you well some let them win half I'm not into all that >> everyone gets a trophy >> everybody needs to lose learn you all got to learn how to lose and cry your little tears of sadness >> um but they just didn't have I don't know the FanFest was illdefining to me I didn't really understand it was also very very hot >> and I'm like I don't know how much longer I can stand out here and drink a giant beer that's going to get warm like that >> and So, we voted to go inside. Here's what [ __ ] up my brain. I've talked about it before. It's also the bane of my road existence when I choose to be involved in it.
>> Merchandise.
>> You have known FIFA and All You Are is about money. Go watch the FIFA documentary on Netflix. It's a It's a four-part series. I mean, they're so corrupt.
>> Well, and I did the joke. They're so corrupt. They should be in prison. And then I'm just buying their [ __ ] left and right and I'm like, "What do you mean you don't have the scarf?" What?
God damn. Well, Kevin's 13. He needs a boy's medium. What do you I wanted to say FIFA. I want them to know we're in the mob. Like, it says FIFA right here.
Um >> I'm surprised >> the merch was sold out.
>> Um outside it's sold out. Patrick, my >> my brother bought one of the illegal shirts that somebody's selling in a box outside. He bought it in Dallas though cuz they went to a game before they came to see us.
>> I was like, "Um, hey buddy. Uh, your shirt." It's a little tight.
>> Was his stomach sticking out?
>> He doesn't have a stomach big enough to stick out of the bottom, but it was tight. And he goes, "I know, but what do you think you're going to get for 20 bucks out of a box?" You know, I was just glad it it says messy on the back.
And I'm like, "Yeah, but I think it's spelled wrong and it's number 11 and he's number 10. It's a totally rogue."
And I said, "Patrick, we can afford >> to get you."
I like that he's old enough now that he's just like, "I don't need all that.
I just wanted to look like I'm in this spirit." But it it was quite tight. And as we're in FanFest, I go, "You getting hot in that shirt."
>> So tight.
>> I'm surprised you went into like FanFest or the merchandise store because when we were in Vegas and we went to the No Doubt store and we were trying to find stuff, you had a mental breakdown. I mean, you were you were mean and you're like a nice comedian and you were mean and I was like, when I've seen my friend turn, I don't know if I like her.
>> I wasn't mean. I was dismissive and leaving and that's and and that is not mean to you. That has nothing to do with you. That has everything you shop. I said stay as all you want. I don't care.
But I will be I don't like being claustrophobic like that.
>> I don't either, but I wanted that [ __ ] shirt.
>> Are you glad you got it?
>> I'm glad I got it. I brought it here. I almost wore Win Stefani, but I thought, "Hey, Kathleen's letting me stay. I'll do the day drinker shirt."
>> And you get two drinks.
>> I get two drinks.
>> I I FanFest is humongous, so there's plenty of room >> to spread out. It never felt crowded. It was hot as [ __ ] cuz it's Atlanta in the summer. That's fine.
>> I kind of wish I had had a hat. Like, it was that kind of hot. Like, you're like, "Damn, I should have grabbed >> Why didn't you buy a FIFA hat?"
>> Because they're sold out. Bob, I think we've gone over this. Sold out. Sold out. Sold. You go up to their merch tent and there's like two shirts left. I'm like, you >> This is not a surprise show.
>> This is not a surprise World Cup game.
How the [ __ ] And here's what me and Patrick and I He's a financial person.
And I was like, >> do you know how much money these people lose?
>> Elton John at the Bridgestone here. I have I was supposed to I had marching orders for three people to get three shirts. I I agreed. No problem. I'll do it. M well I gave up >> because the concert had already been going on like 10 minutes and I'm still in a merch line and and and there's no sign of it stopping like you're you guys lose so much and FIFA when you watch the four-part thing on Netflix. They're the most greedy, the most disgusting corrupt people on earth. You'd think they'd want the money, >> right?
>> Why are you okay with all this money walking out of a door? I don't.
>> They're just organized >> literally walking away. My money and me walked away. Well, you said you were watching the four-part documentary series. Are are we talking about Chrissy and Martina?
>> Sure, we can talk about that.
>> Tennis bracelet.
>> I want to tell my tennis bracelet.
>> Tell your tennis bracelet story.
>> Okay, so the >> Well, first we should say there's a documentary about what we're watching.
>> Okay, moving on.
>> And even if you're not even if you're not old, >> I heard you.
>> This is this is for the children, the younger termites. Um, these were two of the greatest tennis players in the 70s and 80s. Martina and Chrissy Ever.
Chrissy Ever was the um >> Golden Girl, >> Country Club, Golden Girl, All-American.
And Martina, uh, and Chrissy's cute and all that and very, you know, girly. And Martina had to leave a communist country on her own and escape and become, uh, take refuge as a like a 13-year-old.
>> So, I always kind of rooted for Martina more because I thought she was the underdog, >> right? I felt like Chrissy had been given a lot of advantages in life and Martina when she said I'm I'm when you go to the embassy and declare whatever you want refuge statuary >> well you can't go back to Czechoslovakia like she didn't even know if she'd ever see her >> seeking asylum she didn't even know if she'd ever see her family again like >> that's a lot going on when you're thinking I may never see my family again oh [ __ ] I have a tennis match in 8 minutes like I mean you know and Chrissy >> it's called the final It's called The Final. It's a wonderful documentary. I liked them both. Um I just rooted more for Martina because of the underdog status, >> right?
>> I Nobody hated Chrissy ever. Like But anyway, I did not know that your little story you told me earlier today having coffee. I never heard of the tennis bra.
It's a famous thing, the Tiffany tennis bracelet.
>> Yeah. I learned from like this documentary and like the press, you know, reading about it that, you know, just a regular Tiffany bracelet. Chrissy Ever Everett had a lot of boyfriends like Jimmy Connor.
>> Chrissy Everett had, you know, a lot of boyfriends, you know, she was popular. A lot of fiances, husbands, and stuff. I mean, why not? She's the number one tennis player in the world. She can have anybody, right? Go for it. You know?
>> Yeah. Sure.
>> Bring them all.
>> Right. So somebody, I don't know which boyfriend or which husband or which fiance gave her a Tiffany bracelet and she wore it to like Wimbledon or something and all the press, everybody noticed it and the press was like going, "Oh, Chrissy Everett in her tennis bracelet." Thus became the tennis bracelet.
>> I did not know that. I've always heard it's the Tiffany tennis bracelet, but I didn't know. I don't play tennis and I don't do country club things like that.
So I don't know. Was that like a I always thought, oh, that must be like a thing within country club tennis world or something. Are you really still holding that microphone? Jesus Christ.
You This is like like Yeah, you have a severe disability and you're slow.
You're one of the slow children. You got to keep telling them put it down. Put the thing down >> and they No, I'm going to hold it. Oh, no.
>> God, that was a good story about Let me ask you this.
>> Okay, thank you. I I thought >> No, I learned something where that we're not here to stay dumb.
>> No, >> now we know where the tennis bracelet came from, >> right?
>> And we know that, you know, things were going to edit out.
>> Holy Jesus.
>> I wish we could tell that, but I'm glad you're editing it out.
>> I know. I just gave the woman for four tickets in a meet and greet for her charity.
>> Come on.
>> Well, yeah.
>> Uh, did you watch the Dallas Cowboy cheerleader thing?
>> I tried to. I'm sorry. I'm I'm sorry you guys. I'm going to let you down here. I tried and tried and tried, but I just I just felt really bad for those women. I was just like I felt they were being taken advantage of and I couldn't watch it.
>> The new season or >> I haven't started the new season. I'll try the new season.
>> Okay, >> I'll try it.
>> Um >> why? What's going on?
>> Well, I'm astonished.
>> Well, there's nothing I love in life enough to dedicate myself as these women do, >> right? And I'm also shocked. I gotta admit, and this is just all on me, I just figured if you're a dancer, cheerleader, you're probably not the smartest rabbit in the hutch.
>> But I But no, I mean, because your focus is a phys physical thing every day.
You're dancing, you're jumping. You're not sitting in Iowa in January reading a book. Okay. It's not the same. There's just there's a vibe with that where I mean the running joke is the cheerleaders are dumb blah blah blah. I don't agree with it. I'm just saying what I my I'm calling myself out on the preconceived notion that these girls aren't the smartest rabbits in the hutch. Wrong. Some of them are like dentists and [ __ ] I do not know what drives them. And I'm like, you know what? If you had this kind of passion for something else, >> right?
>> That could Well, they're finally making some money now because of social media.
Yeah. Well, and they got raises because Jerry Jones ain't paying him [ __ ] And they just Back in the day, they were only on TV one Sunday every now and then. Like, it was just a thing to do that was fun when you back, say, 30 years ago. And now it's become this thing where people are auditioning from all over the world and these tapes and these women are all insanely >> physically talented with this stuff, >> but to give this kind of hours that one girl did a clapback to at one of the ladies was saying something to bosses and she said, "Well, I got up at 5:30 this morning. I went to my dental job.
I'm a dentist and I worked for seven hours and then I went home and I changed for 18 minutes and I came back and she like snapped back her schedule at the lady and that kind clearly >> I I only asked you because if you'd seen the other seasons if you haven't it doesn't matter and I understand why people like I don't watch Love Island. I don't watch real I don't watch Love Island.
>> No, but this is fascinating to me because this is real. This is happening in real time. These women >> and their bodies are hurt like what what the [ __ ] are you doing? They have the full-time jobs and they they >> they're smart, >> right? And they also >> Nobody's an idiot.
>> And they have to work out. They have to dance. They have to train, you can't have pizza, can't have beers.
>> And then they work all weekend. They probably work rehearse on Saturdays also and get ready for the game on Sunday or Monday Night Football. And then as a comedian person with agents >> and people that look out for me, I'm looking at these girls going, "So that public appearance you did for Christmas cuz Jerry Jones told you to show up at the Hilton at 7:30 and meet and greet a meet and greet. That you should get paid for that."
>> Yes.
>> That is [ __ ] If you're not getting They need like a union organizer. They So they got a raise because they're on TV and the pressure was on the Dallas Cowboy organization. Are you [ __ ] me? you only pay these people whatever $200 a game or some nonsense and they're devoting and that's before even social media they weren't making money on the side with you know Instagram and [ __ ] and now even that money >> that's not enough to it's a full-time goddamn job >> right >> like you want me to quit being a dentist >> to do this for >> right >> but if that >> I don't know I don't understand dancing I don't dance at all >> I don't know I'm a lane I'm even worse.
Um, >> I just don't understand giving all that time and energy to be that when I don't know enough about dancing. Aren't there other ways to be a dancer?
>> Well, I mean, if that's what you >> pole dancing, I mean, >> we're not in the Midwest in a strip club.
>> Broadway.
>> Broadway.
>> Well, every city has its own version.
>> Yeah. Yeah. But every city has their own version.
>> Concert halls and um Yeah. local >> ballet.
>> Yeah.
>> Yeah. I mean local >> with >> you could what?
>> Right.
>> That would be fun.
>> Like I mean I would think if I'm going to give up all of my freedoms and I'm a really good dancer. Yes. I'd rather go audition for Tay >> than go work for nothing for Jerry Jones.
>> Yeah. To be a Dallas Cowboy cheerleader.
I mean, when they do Thunder Struck and they fly in the air and do those splits at the end, I'm just shocked no one broke a leg. I'm like, is everyone okay?
This is great. And then those two ladies that are sometimes just they're nicer this year cuz they got in trouble. You could tell somebody gave them an ass whooping and said, "You are not going to be such a goddamn asshole." And you're going to be sweeter. You're going to be sweeter cuz then >> Judy and Kelly.
>> Judy and I like them both. I think they'd be fun to drink a lot with. You got to get them started on some spritzers. I can tell they're spritzer.
They're spritzer ladies. We don't start with beer here. We start with spritzers.
And then just a little more champagne.
Come on. Come on. And then I get them rolling into some wine. And yeah, I can keep that. And then Whoa. Whoa. Oh, Texas. Tequila's coming, Kelly. I could totally I think they'd be a lot of fun, but I don't understand these girls that are so smart and talented and have these jobs. Okay, if dancing is your passion, that's great. But isn't there is really being a Dallas Cowboy cheerleader the epitome of dance? Would I'd much rather say all those people I watched that Michael Jackson thing about his last concert tour. All those people that auditioned and they're all great the dancers.
>> Yeah.
>> I'd try for that.
>> Yeah.
>> But then I can go on tour for a couple years and say I went around the world, >> right?
>> And somebody else paid for it and Tay- Tay paid for it or Michael paid for it or whomever.
>> I just don't >> I don't know. There's a lot of I'm fascinated by it because it's so out of my belly wick.
>> Well, >> I don't understand dancing. I don't understand commitment like that. I don't understand passion like that.
>> Well, you know who has commitment and passion like that and is a dancer?
>> Who's that?
>> Madonna.
>> Oh god. Bobby, >> let's talk about that for a minute.
Bobby >> one. She's number one.
>> He keeps telling me there her what? Her album is number one. Where at? The Abbey in West Hollywood.
>> Yes.
>> I'm sure. I'm sure it is.
>> Yes.
>> Where is it?
>> And it's on a loop >> under the oil painting of Elizabeth Taylor.
>> And then by the bathroom, the head shot of Liza Minnelli signed.
>> I Well, I we don't disagree on much, but last night when I finally got you to listen to it before bed and I >> It's terrible, buddy.
>> It is not terrible. It's terrible.
>> She's telling a story >> about what? All I hear is electronic >> being free on the dance floor.
>> Well, maybe the cowboy girls would understand that.
>> That's why it triggered me cuz I'm like, well, that's where the girls can dance with Madonna on the dance floor. I'm And on her concert tour, she should take the Dallas Cowboys cheer cheerleaders.
>> Would you call this electronica this music?
>> I've read that it's described as electronica pop. So, that's >> Well, how come it's not popping up? It's It's popping up on number one.
>> No, on that D that category. That's not doesn't count.
>> Uh you're just like >> you're saying electronica dance music as a category?
>> Yeah.
>> Is it is it anywhere near Ella Langley on a real chart?
>> Yes. Ella Langley is actually number three. If you go on Instagram, >> I'm on it.
>> You're on a gay version. And they put Yeah, you are. And they put her up top to make you happy. That's what that site does.
My friend know my friend Bronson's running it. He'll tell me.
>> Is that where Bronson's working now?
Madonna Madonna social media.
>> I think so. I hope.
>> Is he running a fan page?
>> Be so happy.
>> Bronson, if you're running a fan page, you must defend Madonna against Kathleen's vicious attacks.
>> You're never going to get me.
>> It's not even a text. I don't care.
>> Wait, wait, wait. When I >> have to care to attack you. That takes energy. When we went to go see Madonna, her publicist gave me free tickets and I didn't even have to ask for them.
>> Oh, and what does that tell you?
>> It tells me no, it was sold out.
>> Kind of kind of kind of.
>> No, he called he called me and he goes, "I haven't heard from you." And I go, "And Brit's really nice. He's such a great guy." And he also represents Selena. Selena Gomez.
>> Oh, okay.
>> She's super nice. Oh my god. Whenever you walk into the dress, >> I thought I did the Tonight Show with her, but it was Demi Le. No, it was Demi.
>> Talk about like I'm like a old 80-year-old white man racist backstage.
Look at Demi Lovado.
>> Kathleen, that's Selena Gomez. Well, how about that? This one's talented, too. I mean, I know I don't know who these people are.
>> She's number one on the artist 100.
>> The artist 100.
>> She beat Morgan Wallen.
>> She beat Morgan Wallen. Stop it.
>> And Olivia Rodrigo.
>> Oh, she did not beat Olivia Rodrigo.
>> Michael Jackson. Michael Jackson >> paddles is reading it on the internet.
The information superighway so it must be real.
>> That's controlled by gay men and you know it.
>> They want Madonna so badly to be number one. They're just going to make [ __ ] up for two weeks.
>> Fleetwood Mac is 16th.
>> Flewood man 16th.
>> I wonder why they resurged.
>> Oh, is this the alltime artist forever?
>> They peaked.
>> No, this me cuz the Michael Jackson all Michael Jackson's music is having a resurgence because of the Michael movie.
Which Michael movie?
>> The the one in the theater about his life.
>> Oh, I haven't seen that.
>> It's really good. You have to see it on the big screen.
>> Did you see the one about the year-long?
So, they started shooting a documentary a year before he was supposed to go on that big tour before he died. Right.
>> This Yeah, >> this is it.
>> This is it.
>> It's called This Is It. That's the documentary.
>> I did not watch that. And it came out in the movie theater, didn't it? Like years ago.
>> I don't know. I just saw it on Netflix or whatever. And it I know all the issues with Michael Jackson. I get it.
And I I do agree those things probably happen. But if you could just watch this movie, >> I'll watch it >> from the perspective of how do you put a tour like this together? How do you audition these people? How do you get the dancers? And to watch him dance >> Yeah.
>> Um at 52 years old, he was still better >> than everyone they brought in that was in their 20s. That was awesome. Yeah.
>> Like he'd be like, well, he got it faster, but I think he just I don't know. I don't want to overly praise somebody who's probably done bad things.
It's a dangerous topic. I don't want to get too deep into it. But it's a great movie, >> but you can't take his talent away from him.
>> No. And if you're interested in seeing and I'll tell you what, if somebody told me if I had my Stevie Nick tickets, which I always buy six months in advance, >> right?
>> And then in that six-month interim, they said Stevie Nicks ate a baby or did something very bad.
>> Yeah.
>> I'm sorry to hear that, but I got to hear Landslide. I'm I I need to hear landslide. And you prove to me whose baby, what baby did she eat? Has it been proven in a court of law? I can understand if he's your guy. You just don't want to believe all that. And you put it aside and go like I don't carry the way about Michael Jackson really. I don't It's He was f like I get it, but I also didn't I don't think I bought Thriller.
>> I did. I did. I We all bought Thriller.
>> I didn't >> I did not buy Bad. I remember going to Target and when Bad came out and I was like going, I don't really like that song.
>> I'm not gonna buy the vinyl album at the checkout.
>> I'm bad. I know it.
>> Cuz you're not bad.
>> No. No. And you can't make me say it enough to make myself believe that.
>> Well, when we went to the Madonna concert in the desert, okay, >> and I texted my sister Kelly and I said, "Oh my god." I go, "Everyone here is so old." And she goes, "You think?"
I was like, and I go, "Oh, Clark." I go, "Clark, did you see what she wrote back?" And I go, "Clark lives running." He goes, "They're all our age."
>> Well, it would be even worse if you want to go, "Well, you could have made yourself feel better by then going to a Liza Minnelli concert." And they're even older.
>> Yeah.
>> But Madonna and >> Barbara Stryand, how old are those people?
>> 80, 90, >> right? And she tells those long stories about her producer and her ranger and nobody gives a [ __ ] >> when we did the way we were. Bobby >> Bobby Redford and I I was always in love with him.
>> Who was it that got Who was it that got mad at her and said I was in more mood?
>> Jane Fonda.
>> Yeah. Jane Jane. Jane's never learned to just shut up for Shut the [ __ ] up. Jane.
Jesus Christ. I mean, you don't need a publicist. You don't need a shrink. You don't need a normal person. a normal human being living anywhere in America to come in and go, "Jane, it's time you shut the [ __ ] up for how about 5 years.
Do not open your goddamn mouth unless you have something nice to say about somebody else." And well, I was in more movies and Okay, you're mad. We have a hundred. It's like me sitting in Hollywood Squares Ed McMahon and he was so mad that he wasn't the side. He wasn't going to be the new on the new star search. I'm like, "No, no, don't even.
He's 100. Ed, go get on a boat with Johnny Carson and have fun. Why are you on Hollywood Squares with me and Cartop?
Well, they weren't.
>> That's a question you need to ask yourself, Ed.
>> And they weren't friends. They weren't friends off camera.
>> No. And ALF was whatever.
>> And here here's the thing, Ed. You're so serious about Ed McMahon was so mad he wasn't going to be on the new Star Search.
>> The The box next to you is ALF. It's a puppet. Ed, you're on a game show with two comedians who are 30 years old. We don't even know what the [ __ ] we're doing here. And there's a puppet named Alf. Shut up.
>> Remember remember the one the Booker of Hollywood Squares I think you went to um you went to Lens Crafters at Westside Pavilion and she was like Kathleen Kathleen and she was talking about Hollywood Squares and you were like going uhhuh uhhuh. And then you immediately called me and you go >> what who is this woman from Hollywood Squares? I had no idea who I was talking to and I had to tell you who she was.
That's how that's why I am here in Nashville today because Kathleen doesn't know [ __ ] about Hollywood.
>> I don't. I lived in it and I'm like I'm lens Crafters. Some lady starts talking to me. I'm like listen lady. I'm doing trying to do an In-N-Out here. Like I want to go home. I I want to go smoke a cigarette in my pool. I This is horrible. I don't like anything about it. She's like, you know, it was just so fun to have you and they're going to do Hollywood Squares too. I'm like, yeah, just let me know. Let me know. I I don't want to be an [ __ ] but I also >> Wow. You can't you just >> can't go anywhere.
I was worried to be in the Delta lounge at LAX this past weekend cuz I don't fly out of LAX anymore and I was just like, "Oh, thank god I have a good outfit on because I didn't want what if I ran into somebody from work."
>> The odds are you would >> I'm surprised I got in and out.
Seriously. But Oh, you didn't let me finish about Madonna.
>> Yes. I want to I want to hear how you think this is a resurgence and what size venue do you think she's going to sell out? Well, she sells out the YouTube the form in LA, the Kia form last year. I don't I don't know if she's going on tour again, but >> the old forum, the one that they blew up.
>> No, we didn't.
>> We didn't blow it upring Irving AOS.
>> I'm congratulating you for putting that microphone down. That was like a special needs challenge.
>> Well, what are you doing?
>> I mean, >> you're you're perplexed because it doesn't work. So, you're going to hold on to it and then make it work with your brain. You're going to stare at it and make it brain. I'm at it.
>> Okay. She comes out in this 10,000 seat venue. Okay.
>> All right. So, the forum >> No, I I wasn't at the forum.
>> What What did the old So, you said she sells at the forum. What did they >> Five nights? Five nights.
>> Oh. Oh, five nights.
>> And then she came to the desert.
>> What does the forum hold? 15 $18,000.
>> About that. Yeah. So, that's where the Lakers used to play.
>> How long ago was that?
>> Well, that was the Lakers and Kings played there like >> No. When was Madonna there?
>> Oh, her last concert about 18 months ago. concert tour where she went around the world. So my point is we're in the desert. She comes out and she goes, "Hello, desert people."
>> And then she goes, "Look at you old fucks." And she goes, "How old are you, Grandpa?" And he goes, "85."
Clerk, and this is at 10:30 at night when she came out. And I was like, I go, "I have to work tomorrow. It's Thursday.
in bed now.
>> I We didn't go home until 1:15.
>> I've got a Dallas Go boy cheerleader episode to finish. I need to go home.
That's too crazy.
>> You home now.
>> I don't mean to be bossy or pushy, but the game's on in 3 minutes.
>> I know. I know. I've got it recorded, but there's there's 5 minutes of [ __ ] before they start. Don't worry, cuz we're not going to get into the rest of We're going to just do this version of this cuz this has been great. And I could save my little news stories. I did want to >> Is there anything timely though that because like the Tay-Tay wedding was we were we missed the boat on that last week.
>> I I This is just a tad timely. I don't Maybe I I may have made a mistake saying we should have freed Britney.
>> Oh, you did make a mistake. I told you all I've I I first of all, her publicist is a really good friend of mine and I love him. He's got his hands full and we should never have freed Britney. There was a reason that Britley was >> Well, I know comedians that are crazier than her and they're out and about.
>> Yeah. Name one crazy comic.
>> She's an adult.
>> Well, I can name a couple recent criminal comics.
>> Somebody didn't pay the taxes. Somebody didn't pay the taxes.
>> You know what? You steal jokes.
>> I unfriended him. And then if you steal jokes, karma comes around >> and you steal more money. Eventually, someone will steal your freedom.
>> Timely.
>> Uh Britney Spears on the 101 highway in Los Angeles.
>> They say freeway, I say highway.
>> Uh she was standing through her sunroof at 55 m an hour giving everyone a show.
Oh, >> on the 101 in heavy traffic.
>> I'm just saying maybe you were right, Bob.
>> Was she driving?
>> No, she's a passenger. No, >> I do want to read you this one story.
And termites, I know this has been a um a departure from our usual thing. Don't worry, next week we'll get right back on it. Um only eight countries, these are important before we go. Only eight countries have ever lifted the World Cup. So, you'll know when you watch the finals. Um, uh, hold on. [ __ ] >> I read a list of winners the other day on Wikipedia and I was surprised at like >> only a handful of countries >> only have controlled it.
>> Oh, here's who. Okay. Brazil leads with five.
>> Okay.
>> Germany and Italy four each. Argentina three, France and Uruguay have two a piece while England and Spain have each claimed uh the trophy once.
>> Wow.
>> So, just so you know, that's what you're dealing with. Um, >> oh wait, Kathleen, you had a really good stat for the um World Cup this year with Spain. Tell the termites who's the only team that has beaten Spain.
>> Oh, the So, Spain beat France yesterday, which I was shocked. I really I really I thought it was going to be France and England or Argentina at the end.
>> I had a wonderful parlay.
>> Here's the thing about Spain. Nobody loves Spain. Nobody hates Spain. They're just there. They're just there's no giant armies of fans. There's no, it's not like Norway or That's what I loved about the World Cup, too. I It's the only global event. Like, if you go to a Cowboys game or or an Eagles game, like I'm always in the NFC for the most part or well, Chiefs games, AFC, >> there's this a local loyalty, right?
>> You know, we're Cowboy fans, blah blah, we're Eagles fan.
>> This is global. That's what I love. Like I Everybody around me speaking Spanish, you know, vamos, vamos. They're so excited. The Argentinian fans are so fun and happy. They're They drink their beers, but they're completely Nobody's I've been around English soccer fans, the bald-headed white guys, and I felt like this could get this could turn at any moment into a whole [ __ ] gang riot. They're pissed. They're angry.
I've seen it. But Argentina, happy.
Win or lose, they don't care. They just want their beers. Norway, fun as [ __ ] Um, but Spain, the only team that has beaten them is Cape Verde.
>> There you go.
>> Crazy.
>> Ever.
>> Yeah.
>> Um, this story just made me laugh so [ __ ] hard and it will be outdated if I don't >> do it.
>> This is a guy 65 years old.
>> An English soccer fan who vanished while traveling to the United States for a World Cup was found safe in Spain blissfully unaware of his family's anguish search for him.
He never made it. Here's his deal.
Michael Hwitt, 65 years old, last spoke with his family in Barcelona on June 21st, one day after the diehard Leads United, that's a British team, uh he jetted out of the UK. He was in Spain for a short layover before he was set to fly to Boston where England played out a 000 draw against Ghana last Wednesday.
After losing his phone, which contains all of his travel tickets, he became stuck in Barcelona. His brother Gary said he lost his phone soon after arriving and didn't know any number of the numbers that were stored on it. Like none of us know, right?
>> I don't know. I don't know your number.
>> He right.
>> He didn't think to go to the embassy.
>> I know it's a 310. He >> he didn't think to go to the embassy as he still had his passport and money. So he had cash.
>> So he didn't think anyone would be interested in his story. Huitt, affection, affectionately known by his nickname Little Mick, did not have access to the internet and was blissfully unaware that his family was desperately searching for him. Instead, he just got on with enjoying Barcelona, watching the England matches and bars.
His family saw Facebook photos of him at a bar in the European city before he lost contact.
The foreign commonwealth development Interpool launched an investigation into his dispirit.
>> The Interpool [ __ ] Interpool.
>> That's James Bond shed.
>> As relatives urged locals to spread po post about him in after 10 days, the British embassy in Spain tracked down the soccer fence hotel through his card payments and put him in touch with his family. Gary wrote in a Facebook statement that the family was grateful to have a happy ending. As a family, we desperately wanted an embarrassingly simple, happy ending to this horrendous episode, and now we have that. It's amazing what can be achieved when the good people of the world go to marching together. He said, >> I like that. I like that >> Gary's safe.
>> That's great.
>> It was so funny. Paddles, I don't know if you know this, but I said to I was texting on the plane when to Kathleen >> and because I watched the game on Delta, you know, on this in in the on the plane airline in the world.
>> Yes, it is. And I and they had the Wi-Fi was consistent. I'm like United where it's spotty from New York to Palm Springs.
>> And I was watching the game. I was like, "This is like so cool. I'm having a Titos and Cranberry. I'm watching the World Cup. It's a boring game." And then they won. I go, "Oh my god, they won.
You're you guys were like, "Yay." And I was like, and then I go, "Oh, I'm so happy." Blah, blah, blah. And then you And then Kathleen texts vom vamos. And I went >> I go, "We are going."
She thought he he thought I meant I was going to the World Cup.
>> I'm like, "No, >> I go, "Oh, that's so great. I'm so happy for you." I'm jealous.
>> I'm like, "No, I I'm not going. I'm just saying vamos." Like, I'm so sick of hearing let's [ __ ] go in every sports thing ever that it's great to hear people just go vamos. Like the people around me. It was great. Should we go on? Should we go out on a burst of country roads?
>> Well, yeah, we're going to. But wait, I had a there's >> no I can't we can't even get into all that this week. This is just an offbeat episode. Everybody will get right back on track. But I wanted to read you about this Mexican dog at the >> Well, I can't find my story, but um >> your me your dog.
>> No, these people in Mexico lost their dog.
>> Yeah.
>> And it's a cute little mut thing. Um like a medium-sized mut. and they were distraught and the kids are all upset.
Everybody's upset and um they they see a clip on ESPN of all these Mexican fans partying cuz Mexico had won whatever game and the dog was with the fans. He'd been partying for 21 days. There was this there was this group of people. They're like, "Yeah, I don't know. his dog just showed up and he was real friendly and then he just stayed around and he there's pictures of him and he just got his tongue out and stuff. He literally partied with the World Cup fans for 21 days and his family's like there's our [ __ ] dog like he's on ESPN Jesus Christ and they got him back. They got him. So it was a it's a I I thought maybe I had it in my feelood pile but I >> That is a feel good story.
>> It is a feelood story because then all the kids are happy and the dog had a wonderful time and the dog got to go to the World Cup. Yeah, I didn't. I didn't.
>> That's the only one I've ever been to in my life. And I would save up all my money. I'm going to go to Portugal and Spain in four years. I'm totally going and I'm going to um buy tickets to like two games.
>> Oh, good.
>> Fun.
>> Patrick went to two. I'm like, how is it you are 10 years younger than me, >> my brother?
>> Yeah.
>> And I seem to work harder and more often and do less fun things.
>> I don't know.
>> Yeah, >> he should do TED talks. Yeah, >> he should do TED talks on living your best life cuz [ __ ] Pat knows how.
He's He's like if you did a Where's Waldo? He's at every fascinating event.
He was up in Traverse City, Michigan.
Hey, I'm at a cherry festival in area.
I'm like, oh. And then he's up, we're going to the Cards Cubs game, dropping down to Chicago. Cheers.
>> Does he work full-time?
>> Yes. He has his own business. It's called Madigan Wealth Management.
>> Yeah. Yeah. See, that's what like everybody >> He has merch.
>> Does he really?
>> Yeah.
>> You should put a hyperlink on mcathleenmadigan.com website where you can buy your daydrinker shirt.
>> Yeah, I should.
>> You should.
>> I should. It's Madigan Wealthmanagement.
>> Spread the word.
>> Put more [ __ ] on Anna's desk.
>> Send send a me a medium for Clark and a large for Reed at Palm Springs and we'll walk around and then and then all the all the gay guys will go on and go, "Oh, he's kind of cute.
Patrick's shirts do not have his giant face on it like mine. Mine do. They're very um subtle. Madigan Madigan Wealth.
MWM. Madigan Wealth Management. And I'm like, "Do you think we have wealth?"
He's like, "Yeah, Kathleen, you [ __ ] have wealth compared to I'm like, "Oh, all right. Well, I guess I feel fancy then, Pat."
>> I I was like I had a $300 credit on Delta and it expires in August. I was like going, "Fuck, I got to use this. I don't want to waste $300."
>> No, I wouldn't either. And that's Kathleen, >> that's how you're sitting here now with a free Bloody Mary.
>> Free bloody Mary.
>> And here's a whole box of Cheerios.
>> Yeah.
>> Let's say I never gave you anything.
>> All right. Thank you.
>> Country roads.
>> Do we want to?
>> What? So, um, >> do you want me to do a >> vamos?
>> Let's vamos. The game's on.
>> No, but I mean vamos is our Spanish.
>> Okay. So, there's vamos and vamos and they are different. And when you watch I watch a lot of the um not to associate all people that speak Spanish with the cartel, but I those are my favorite things on Amazon and Netflix and I love Narcos and all that.
>> From what I am understanding and I'll take any constructive criticism. Vamos means like let's go like in a happy.
Vominos means let's go like get the [ __ ] out.
>> I think it I think vomos.
>> Vomos means clear out.
>> Let's get going.
>> Let's get going. Let's clear out. Let's like your dad would say it like get in the car.
>> Yeah. Like let's get going.
>> But it's not the fun vomos means like >> that's Yeah. Because vomos let that that's the ing. No, it's the ing whatever that is in English. Vomos.
>> First person plural form of the verb to go.
>> It's the first vamos.
>> Okay.
>> I don't even understand what you just said. It's the first person plural of the what?
>> First person plural form of the verb to go.
to go.
>> Yeah.
>> Which one is >> we go?
>> Which one is >> vamos?
>> No, vomos is we go. Amos is the we >> reading it on dictionary.
>> But I took Spanish in high school.
>> I didn't. I took French.
>> Vominos. It's va voy v b v b v b v b v b v b v b v b v b v bos von v v v v v v v v v v v v v v v v v v v v vomos something that that's there's five different conjugations.
>> I'm just going to Google what is the difference.
>> Oh my god, the termites must be so bored. Well, I don't think they're bored, but I think there's probably some Spanish speaking ones that are probably as [ __ ] They're probably yelling at us for butchering the beautiful language, >> right?
>> That's what is the difference between vomos and vamos.
>> Okay, here we come.
>> Okay, vamos could mean go or come on.
Vamos is an imperative form of arise, meaning let's leave. That's what I said.
Vominos means get up. Let's get the [ __ ] out. It's not like the happy schmappy.
>> You just made it the >> urban dictionary.
>> When learning Spanish as these three gringoes are, >> Mhm.
>> it is difficult to see the difference in the meaning of the word. And it says it right here.
>> Yep. There you go.
>> My handyman says I have good Spanish pronunciation. He's very impressed.
>> Is he?
>> Mhm.
>> Oh, my mom's texting on the family threat.
Bobby, did you like the birthday cake?
>> Oh, Thomas got his driver's license.
>> Oh, good.
>> Yeah, it's very exciting.
Um, all right. Termites. Sorry, I got distracted there.
>> Jesus.
>> It's called editing.
>> Well, it's the it's the No, no, leave it on.
>> We have some edits today.
>> Thomas looks very cute in his truck.
Whatever. I don't know where.
>> Vamos.
>> Vamos. Vamos. Or but I feel like in the cartel things when [ __ ] was going to go down, they were like vomos. It was more of a command.
>> It was more of a get the get out of here now. Yeah.
>> Or I But see, I could have said my seen my dad doing that. If we're all >> putting around and he's got the car ready, he'd be like vomos.
>> But it's more of a get your [ __ ] together.
>> Okay.
>> That's how I feel about it. Please correct me. Um, all Spanish speaking termites.
>> Okay, we're trying.
>> Yeah, >> we should thank Holly Bobby.
>> Oh, thank you. Thank you for letting me stay. I'm so glad we get to hang out in person.
>> It's a It's a rogue episode.
>> And you're the only guest that's ever been allowed in 280 episodes except one time during co Ron White and nobody liked it.
>> It's not that they don't like Ron. They just was like >> Well, I've had lunch with Ron White for work reasons like twice.
>> Let me tell you something. I didn't like that.
>> Oh, >> I love Ron.
>> He won't be getting >> You can send that to him cuz he's not getting on the Jennifer Hudson show.
He sees you as a serious work person, so he's not going to want to be at lunch.
No, >> that's the problem.
>> He invited me, he and his manager, because he wanted he wanted to go over their set and this and that and I'm like, dude, I do that over the phone. I don't You're lucky I'm showing up, right?
>> And you better pay.
>> I'm only here because Kathleen Madigan told me to.
>> Right. Right. Ron's wonderful. He's never going to be wonderful to people that he thinks are serious people. He's not. He can't stand it. I remember one time I go, "What are you doing?" He goes, "I have to attend a meeting about some sort of architecture in this [ __ ] home I don't even want to be in." And if you think I can pay attention to that [ __ ] for four more than four and a half goddamn minutes, you are wrong. And I told her that and she won't listen. So, I'm going to go prove it. I'm going to go down there and I'm going to smoke a big ass joint and I'm going to go, "Uh-huh. I love that tile." And then I'm leaving. I'm like, "I'm with you, dude. I can't pay attention like that either. But anyway, um it's been wonderful, Bobby.
>> Thank you for having me.
>> Yeah, we're going to have a wonderful time in Nashville. We're going to go watch the World Cup game. Then we're going to get in the pool. Then I'm going to take you to this tiny little Italian place. Even out here in Little Old Hickory, we got a really good place.
>> All right. Can't wait.
>> And uh it's hot as [ __ ] And it might start raining >> again.
>> It's summertime popups.
>> Country roads.
>> Take me home. I cried every time they played this.
>> I do too. I know. I know.
>> I cry at sports more than I cry at funerals.
>> Yeah.
>> Yeah.
>> I just love it.
>> I think there's something wrong with me.
>> No, funerals, you've already had time to cry before they bury him. But like when those players are standing there and they're facing their fans, whichever country, and they're playing their songs, I'm just like, damn, everybody came together. This is >> the Argentinians sing from the minute they wake up till the minute they go to bed. And it sounds like the song they're singing sounds like country roads, but it's not. It's something in Spanish.
>> I don't know. Obviously, I don't know.
>> Makukaratcha.
>> Maybe >> that was racist.
>> Edit.
>> It's called muchachos.
>> Muchachos.
>> Yeah.
>> Okay. I know that. I mean, well, you know what that means?
>> That means friends. Brother country.
>> Muchachos. Friends. It's Yahoo Sports.
What the [ __ ] are Argentinian fans singing?
>> But it sounds like Country Roads as when it's all in unison. When there's 100,000 people singing, it sounds like, >> but they don't stop. This is why I love them as fans. The minute the game starts, they don't stop the whole [ __ ] game. And if you're Egypt or whoever is playing them, that's got to get on your nerves after.
>> It's got to get on your nerves.
>> Yeah.
>> Yeah. Where you're like, really? Are they going to [ __ ] do this the whole time? Like >> Yeah. And they do. And they do.
>> And they do. They're pounding on the drums. They're >> Yeah. I'm so glad that the game just by luck >> Patrick and I chose was Argentina versus um Egypt versus It could have been England versus >> Kate Verde.
>> Kate Verde. And I I just don't know. I I would have rooted for Kate Verde. I'm with the Irish. Every flag in this house will be against England.
>> Well, the other thing, too, is whoever I I looked up who sings the opening theme song, too. I can't remember who sings it. I love the music of the World Cup.
It's beautiful. The theme cup song the Yeah. Okay. I've talked too much.
>> Yeah. All right. All right. Termites, >> you're planning somebody's kins in Europe and that that music needs to be saved for grandma and grandpa and the children don't even want to hear that.
>> No, >> the kids want to hear Bad Bunny at the King. They don't want to hear, >> right? They don't want to hear grandma's favorite >> mariachi dance. Mariachi dance. Yeah, this is wonderful. No, because the the Mexican kids are cool. They are hip.
They are way >> Oh my god, they are cool.
>> All right, termites. Here's the thing.
We'll be back to normal. Just me.
We'll be back to No more guests. This is a one one in a lifetime once in a lifetime experience with Holly Bob.
>> Will we still speak to Holly Bobby and get updates?
>> Well, I can report from Warner Brothers Studios next week when I start the Jennifer Hudson show. So, I can do it on this.
>> Can Can you Can you secretly tell us what other shows are being taped there, or is that like a secret?
>> The Pit, which is like one of my favorite shows >> on that on that lot. Yeah, it's the old ER studios.
>> I meant for you to tell me next week.
>> Oh, okay. Bye.
>> We got to watch a game, Bobby. Let's go.
>> Bye.
>> What do you say?
>> Night night termites. Ready? Oh, [ __ ] There we go.
>> Say night night, Bobby.
>> Oh, night night. Night night termites.
>> Night night termites.
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