Is There a Cultural Reason Koreans Don't Help Strangers? ▫ mini Ep 103

Added: 2026-06-02

[00:00:05]A couple of days ago I'm so new to this whole I'm so super new to this whole like 3 weeks.

[00:00:10]>> Oh wow, you're very new. Okay.

[00:00:12]>> And I'm over here like oh let me just I'm a Christian, right? So as [clears throat] a Christian I mean it doesn't really matter but as a Christian you're supposed to help people.

[00:00:21]>> Oh yeah.

[00:00:22]>> Help people.

[00:00:23]>> Yeah.

[00:00:23]>> You know.

[00:00:24]>> As a as a good person.

[00:00:25]>> Show them the love of love of Jesus.

[00:00:27]>> Yes.

[00:00:28]>> All day.

[00:00:29]>> Amen.

[00:00:29]>> Nah.

[00:00:30]>> [clears throat] [laughter] >> What the man?

[00:00:33]It's about It's about to be some BS coming. Everybody watch.

[00:00:36]>> Right. Like so And I understand like I understand as a parent I get it. So I'm on I'm in Youngsan cuz I had went to Jackson's Pizza for some >> Ooh yum. I love me some of >> I went I was in cuz I live in Wonju.

[00:00:49]So I went from Wonju to Youngsan >> For Jack >> For Jackson's Pizza.

[00:00:53]>> You know pay me is a is a thing, right?

[00:00:54]Pay that in your job.

[00:00:55]>> Yeah, I mean but I don't I don't got money for that.

[00:00:58]>> Oh so you >> I just You know what? I just Get it. Get it. Don't got to do deal with the stupid uh trash system. Do it It's so dumb.

[00:01:06]>> [laughter] >> You got to save the planet.

[00:01:09]Even though there's a war going on.

[00:01:11]>> Just make it Just make it easier.

[00:01:13]>> [laughter] >> Um but So I go to Jackson's Pizza. I'm on and I come coming back. I'm [clears throat] sitting on a bench. I'm on the phone with my friend. And we're just talking.

[00:01:23]So a lady walks up.

[00:01:24]>> Mhm.

[00:01:25]>> She has a kid in her arm and she's holding the other kid's hand.

[00:01:29]They the kid the two kids sitting on the bench. The mom's looking at the >> Menu?

[00:01:34]>> No, not the menu. The We're at the bus stop.

[00:01:36]>> Oh. Oh, okay. Okay. So she's looking at the sign then.

[00:01:39]>> whatever the cuz you know how they have the numbers and different buses. She's looking at that not paying attention to her kid.

[00:01:44]>> Mhm.

[00:01:45]>> Me, I'm paying attention.

[00:01:46]>> Cuz you've been a teacher of kids.

[00:01:48]>> And I'm just I'm a that too and I'm a very I'm just observant person. I'm observant. Too observant sometimes.

[00:01:55]People get at me.

[00:01:56]>> Me too.

[00:01:56]>> [laughter] >> Me too.

[00:01:57]>> I'm looking at everybody like what's up?

[00:01:58]>> Me too.

[00:01:59]>> Like so mom's not paying attention. I'm paying attention.

[00:02:04]The the one of the daughter gets daughters gets off of the bench.

[00:02:08]>> Okay.

[00:02:09]>> Whatever. And she starts not walking but she's moving around or whatever. I'm like okay well I'm going to she's trying to get and then she's trying to get back up on the bench.

[00:02:17]>> Okay. Oh okay.

[00:02:19]>> And I'm trying to be like okay well Okay you're not paying attention mom so I'm going to just go up and do it right?

[00:02:23]>> Uh okay okay.

[00:02:24]>> Right?

[00:02:25]Right?

[00:02:26]>> Oh Jesus you touched this woman's kid.

[00:02:29]>> I'm like I was like okay boom.

[00:02:32]And then she the little girl backs up a little bit which is fine. The mom's like what?

[00:02:37]But then she looks at me and says oh cuz then I say you know get her back cuz she's trying to get back up here. Then she says oh thank you.

[00:02:43]>> I'm like okay this went better than I thought great.

[00:02:45]>> It still pissed me off.

[00:02:47]It still pissed me off.

[00:02:48]>> Wait what part pissed you off? Just >> The way she looked at me. She was like >> Why is she looking at you?

[00:02:54]>> [laughter] >> I'm not trying to steal your kid.

[00:02:56]>> Yeah.

[00:02:56]>> Thank you.

[00:02:56]>> Yeah.

[00:02:57]>> Second of all I'm trying to help your kid cuz you're not paying attention.

[00:02:59]>> Your kid could fall back let's be honest.

[00:03:00]>> Right? And then didn't people didn't she get hurt what you going to do?

[00:03:03]Right?

[00:03:04]>> Yeah I think you're just learning the culture of we don't people don't help out here.

[00:03:08]>> help.

[00:03:08]>> You just mind your business.

[00:03:10]>> pisses me off too.

[00:03:11]>> People don't help.

[00:03:11]>> People do not help. Y'all Y'all Y'all so people they help a little bit you know what I'm saying? Or they don't mind you helping.

[00:03:18]>> Yeah they're more friendly.

[00:03:19]>> friendly yeah yeah. Here >> Seoul?

[00:03:21]>> Seoul.

[00:03:22]>> [gasps] >> If you trip and fall you're by yourself.

[00:03:26]Which I do have to say it's getting better. Boy back in 2014 >> It was bad.

[00:03:31]>> people would stare at you. You're just like this.

[00:03:32]>> Oh I had another stroke too.

[00:03:34]>> Oh here we go.

[00:03:35]>> So that one happened maybe last week.

[00:03:37]This [clears throat] one happened like Today is what? Wednesday?

[00:03:40]>> Wednesday.

[00:03:41]>> Monday. This happened Monday.

[00:03:42]>> Three weeks in Korean there's too much going on.

[00:03:44]>> Monday. Crazy.

[00:03:45]>> Sorry not Korean Seoul yeah.

[00:03:47]Three weeks in Seoul.

[00:03:48]>> And so I'm at uh Compose Coffee.

[00:03:53]>> Mhm.

[00:03:53]>> [clears throat] >> So, just sitting I'm on my laptop.

[00:03:56]Trying to just do a job stuff or whatever.

[00:03:59]And I'm there mind you, I'm there for like good 42 minutes. I'm on the phone >> [clears throat] >> with my friends.

[00:04:06]Some ladies walking. Older ladies walking.

[00:04:09]So, we they're sitting at the wall table. One's right here and then two are inside, right?

[00:04:16]>> [sighs] >> It I hate I don't like thinking about this, but um the lady that's sitting on the outside, her purse falls.

[00:04:25]Right? [clears throat] Didn't pay attention. Nobody paying attention. Everybody I some somebody probably looked at the person and was like I ain't getting that.

[00:04:32]Most likely. Most likely. Lady didn't Lady wasn't paying attention. I heard it and then I see it. I'm like, all right, you know what? I'm going to go get it.

[00:04:39]Just pick it up. [clears throat] >> What she think you going to run with her purse?

[00:04:43]>> Mind you, mind you the lady on the inside is looking at me the entire time.

[00:04:48]I pick up the purse. I make eye contact with her. I pick it up, put it back down. She don't even say thank you.

[00:04:54]And then the lady that's that her that purse fell, she said I'm like, first of all I I get it you I get it but like first of all, you're you're little Jesus.

[00:05:05]>> [laughter] >> Forgive me, Jesus.

[00:05:08]Your friend looked at me the entire time and didn't say a word. Not even a thank you. Not even a hey.

[00:05:15]>> Or even tell the friend, hey, he just picked up your purse.

[00:05:18]>> I'm saying? So, I put it on the thing she's like she you know how people like touch your stuff just to make sure it she touching it I'm I walk past my heart beating fast. I'm sweating a little bit.

[00:05:27]I'm like, man >> Damn, she going to act like that and you just picked her purse off the floor.

[00:05:32]>> You just try to help people and be nice to people.

[00:05:35]The The thing is that here don't nobody want to help nobody.

[00:05:41]And then people wonder why like people miserable cuz nobody you don't got nobody talking to nobody. You don't have nobody helping nobody.

[00:05:51]But if you do help, it's a transactional help. So, it's [clears throat] not like I'm not really helping you just to help you.

[00:05:56]>> It's like I need something back from you.

[00:05:57]>> back from you, whatever the case may be.

[00:05:59]And I'm like >> [sighs and gasps] >> All right, cool.

[00:06:02]>> It's I think coming from a culture, I feel like I'm going to have to defend Koreans real quick here, okay?

[00:06:08]>> [laughter] >> Cuz I've been here for eight years and I came in 2014 the first time and I was like I I was 17 at that time, right? I think the helping thing cuz I also was always like, "Why don't Koreans help?

[00:06:17]Like why is it that when something happens everybody just kind of stares and doesn't help?" Like somebody can fall and people go Can I help you?

[00:06:26]>> [laughter] >> And they just walk. Like nobody like helps the person or if an old person falls you rarely see somebody help. It has gotten a lot better, I have to say.

[00:06:35]But it's like a culture of very much like you mind your own business. You don't really put your nose in other people's business even if somebody is hurt. And from my what I've seen, it's also much like if I was to help you and like if you fall and I help you and then you get hurt more, you can sue me. And I was trying to help you, right? So, from that perspective they also very much don't help especially when it's like a you can end up mistakenly hurting another person.

[00:07:01]Um but it has gotten a lot better. It used to be really bad back in the day.

[00:07:04]Like I used to be like nobody helps. But now I do see a lot more people help but coming from a culture in America where we're very hypersensitive to other people's um ailments or other people's like like if something happens to another person we're very ready to help. Coming to Korea where it's the opposite of that, most people tend to just be very much tunnel vision. Like they don't really notice too much happening around them type of culture. I think that can be very hard for you.

[00:07:35]Like it's very hard for me and I'm guessing for you to mind your business because you're like, "I just want to help. Like I just really just want to help you. But it's not your country so it might look a little weird.

[00:07:48]>> Yeah, yeah, oh yeah, I >> Especially because you're a man, too.

[00:07:51]And you're a black man.

[00:07:52]>> Yeah, that's true. That's >> You know, like for me as a woman, I don't think if I had probably helped >> I mean, it might be a little bit different though.

[00:07:58]>> I am a woman first though. So I think if I helped helped a little kid, the mom wouldn't have been like like you know what I mean? You become very aware of yourself living in Korea.

[00:08:07]>> But I think I think the one thing that I don't want to lose is that sense of wanting to help people cuz I cuz >> Yeah.

[00:08:17]>> Like the the the spiritual atmosphere is different from Yeosu >> [clears throat] >> and Seoul is totally different. Totally different. Like I Yeosu like it's a little bit more like you know, people like I said earlier, people are chill. They're more it's more lively. Here everybody just like they want to die.

[00:08:36]Bro, like >> It's misery.

[00:08:37]>> Like literally on their face it's like it's literally it's so it's so bad. I'm just like >> Yeah. Cuz Seoul is a hustle and bustle city. It's not a relaxed city. It's not like Busan where you got a beach and you can just go chill on the beach. People are here to work.

[00:08:51]>> Yeah.

[00:08:51]>> It's just work bali bali. Like they don't have time to be friends with you.

[00:08:56]Get out of my way actually.

[00:08:59]Why are you in front of me? It's like it's like that type of thing.

[00:09:01]>> But what the um the hommies if you help they they'll let you help. They will cuz I was like even yesterday might have been yesterday whatever.

[00:09:10]>> Oh my [clears throat] god, you're such a helper.

[00:09:11]>> Such a helper, right?

[00:09:12]>> a helper.