The Truth About Making Friends in America as a Filipina (Nobody Warns You About This)

Added: 2026-06-02

[00:00:00]She moved to America and suddenly felt lonely even around people.

[00:00:05]Nobody really warns you that part. Back home in the Philippines, I [music] had plenty of friends.

[00:00:12]In America, after 10 years, [music] I can count my real friends on one hand.

[00:00:18]And the strange part is the friendship [music] that changed my life here came from the most unexpected people.

[00:00:26]Not Filipinos, not co-workers, not even people I was trying to become friends with.

[00:00:33]A woman from Minnesota, a retired couple from Indiana, and a truck driver from Texas. And somehow they taught me >> [music] >> what friendship in America actually looks like. I'm Grace. I've been living in America for 10 years now.

[00:00:50]And I want to talk about something I think a lot of immigrants [music] feel, but almost nobody say it out loud.

[00:00:58]Making friends here can feel [music] completely different. Not bad, not impossible, but very different from home.

[00:01:07]And for a long time, I thought something was [music] wrong with me.

[00:01:11]I still remember my first year here. A co-worker smiled at me and said, "We should hang out sometime."

[00:01:18]And immediately, I thought, "Oh my god, a new friend."

[00:01:23]Filipino brain activated. I was ready.

[00:01:26]Coffee, dinner, maybe future meeting status.

[00:01:32]But then, >> [music] >> nothing happened.

[00:01:34]No text, no invite, nothing.

[00:01:38]And I remember wondering, "Wait, did I misunderstand [music] that?"

[00:01:44]Because in the Philippines, when someone says, "Let's hang out," you usually actually hang out.

[00:01:51]Here, I slowly realized, sometimes it just means, "I think [music] you're nice.

[00:01:59]That's it.

[00:02:00]And honestly, that confused me so much at first.

[00:02:04]I kept wondering if maybe >> [music] >> I was too shy, too quiet, too awkward, >> [music] >> too Filipino, or maybe Americans already had their people. [music] And because I'm naturally introverted, I slowly stopped [music] trying.

[00:02:22]I don't really drink. I don't really party. I genuinely enjoy being alone sometimes. For years, my life here felt very surface [music] level.

[00:02:33]Nice co-workers, polite neighbors, small talk, but no real [music] depth.

[00:02:39]And honestly, that loneliness hits different when you're an immigrant.

[00:02:45]>> [music] >> Because back home, connection happens naturally. Someone is always visiting.

[00:02:51]Someone is always [music] feeding you.

[00:02:53]Someone is always around. Here, you can go days without anybody [music] knocking on your door. But then, something happened that completely changed the way I saw friendship >> [music] >> in America. Actually, three people changed it. And none of them looked like the friendships I expected to have here.

[00:03:15]One day, I was camping in Florida.

[00:03:17][music] Just doing my own thing. And parked right beside me was this woman from Minnesota.

[00:03:25]Older than me.

[00:03:27]Very vibrant. Very warm. [music] The kind of person who makes you feel comfortable immediately.

[00:03:34]And [music] we just started talking.

[00:03:36]No effort. No awkwardness.

[00:03:40]No trying too hard.

[00:03:42]>> [music] >> Just two people sitting outside while the world slowed down for a [music] minute. And honestly, that surprised me.

[00:03:50]Because I wasn't even trying to make a friend.

[00:03:53]I was just existing.

[00:03:55]And now, [music] years later, she is generally one of my closest friends.

[00:04:01]We still talk.

[00:04:03]We still check on each other.

[00:04:05]And that friendship taught me something important. Friendship in America grows slower.

[00:04:12]>> [music] >> But sometimes, it grows deeper. And then, friendship surprised me again.

[00:04:17][music] This time, through Filipino food. This retired couple from Indiana.

[00:04:23]>> [music] >> Very sweet people.

[00:04:25]And one day, I cooked Filipino food [music] for them. Now, listen. If you're a Filipino, when foreigners [music] try your food, you became nervous for absolutely no reason. [music] You're standing there like, "Please, like my pancit." But, to my surprise, >> [music] >> they loved it.

[00:04:45]They said it was really good.

[00:04:48]And honestly, that moment meant more [music] to me than they probably realized. Because that was how our friendship started. Not through networking, not through trying hard, [music] just food.

[00:05:03]Which honestly feels very Filipino.

[00:05:05][music] We don't always say, "I care about you."

[00:05:09]Sometimes, [music] we cook it instead.

[00:05:12]This next one still feels unreal to me sometimes.

[00:05:16]A while back, I got an email from a [music] stranger. A truck driver from Texas. And he told me he spent long hours driving alone.

[00:05:24]>> [music] >> Just him, the highway, and YouTube playing in the background.

[00:05:30]>> [music] >> And somehow, one of my videos came on.

[00:05:33]He wasn't searching for a Filipino content. [music] He wasn't searching for me.

[00:05:38]My video just randomly appeared on some highway [music] in Texas.

[00:05:44]And he said something I'll probably remember for [music] a very long time.

[00:05:48]He said there's so much fake content online now.

[00:05:52]So many people pretending, performing, trying to look >> [music] >> perfect. But he said he appreciated hearing someone just be real. [music] And then he said something that honestly touched me. He said, "I seemed real, likable, and believable." And I imagined [music] that for a second. A lonely Filipina talking in front of the camera.

[00:06:19]>> [music] >> And somehow her voices reaches a stranger driving alone in Texas.

[00:06:26]We've never even met in person, but we still talk from time to time.

[00:06:31]And honestly, that friendship reminded me that good people still exist.

[00:06:38]Sometimes your people are not in your neighborhood. [music] Sometimes they aren't even in your state.

[00:06:44]Sometimes your people are out there [music] somewhere living their own life. And somehow your paths still cross. And that's when I realized something important. Maybe friendship in America is not missing.

[00:07:00]Maybe it [music] just looks different now.

[00:07:02]Nobody really talks about the in-between stage of immigration.

[00:07:06]That strange space where [music] home doesn't fully feel like home anymore.

[00:07:12]But America doesn't feel like [music] home yet, either.

[00:07:16]Too Filipino in some places here, >> [music] >> too Americanized for some people back home. And honestly, a lot of us quietly [music] live in that middle space trying to figure ourselves [music] out. But I don't think that space is bad anymore.

[00:07:34]Because I think that's where [music] actual real connection happens. The people who met you there, [music] exactly as you are.

[00:07:43]Those are your real people. [music] And another thing that nobody explains, friendships here operate differently.

[00:07:51]In the Philippines, [music] community is automatic. People drop at your house unannounced. You feed them anyway. Nobody leaves [music] hungry.

[00:08:02]Here, you better text first.

[00:08:04]Probably three business [music] days in advance.

[00:08:08]At first, that can feel cold. [music] But eventually, I realized it's not cold. It's just different [music] rhythm.

[00:08:17]Different doesn't always mean wrong. So, after 10 [music] years, here's what I finally understand now. Friendship in America are fewer, but they can be very real. You might not have plenty of [music] friends around you anymore, but you might have three people who genuinely show up, who genuinely care.

[00:08:38]>> [music] >> And honestly, that matters more. I used to measure friendship by numbers, [music] by parties, by birthdays, by how many people [music] were around.

[00:08:50]Now, I measured it differently.

[00:08:53]I asked [music] myself, does this person know the real me? Do they accept both version of me?

[00:09:00]The Filipino me and the version of me that changed [music] after living here.

[00:09:05]A vibrant woman from Minnesota. A sweet retired couple from Indiana. A truck driver from Texas. None of these friendship look the way I expected. None of them. And maybe that's the lesson.

[00:09:19]Stop expecting friendship in America to look exactly like Philippines.

[00:09:25]Be open to what it looks like now. And maybe growing in another country means learning that home is no longer one place. Sometimes home becomes And sometimes those people find you in places you never expected. [music] And if you're a Filipino watching this right now, you are not alone in feeling [music] this. And if you're an American watching, thank you for wanting to understand this.

[00:09:54]We are warm people.

[00:09:56]We're loyal. We bring food.

[00:09:59]We just need a little time to open up.

[00:10:02]If this resonated with you, leave a comment below. Have you ever struggled to make friends [music] after moving abroad?

[00:10:10]Or did you find your people in a place that you never expected?

[00:10:14]I'd love to hear your story. Thank you for watching, and I'll see you in the next video.

[00:10:19]Ingat.