What It’s Like To Grow Up Between Two Cultures

Added: 2026-05-07

[00:00:00]Hello, hello. I'm back in my little spot. And today, I kind of wanted to talk about the topic of what it's actually like to grow up in between two different cultures. So, my mother is Vietnamese and my father is American, but I was born and raised in Saigon. But at the same time, I went to international school, so I was surrounded by kids that had parents from all over the world. And I was still living in Le Van Sy, which is like right in the middle of the city center. And my mother was a part of the Notre Dame choir. So, my life on that side was very traditional Vietnamese. Like there were days where I would leave the house and just speak English all day. And then the next day, I would just be speaking Vietnamese all day. Like I kind of had to balance a little bit both worlds.

[00:00:45]Growing up in between that, I learned very early on that you got to act two different ways depending on the room.

[00:00:54]And let me explain by that. So, in my little very young brain, I knew that if it was foreigners around me, it was totally fine to ask questions, to be curious, to kind of like push back a little bit because like they just kind of find it charming. Like those were traits and qualities that I got rewarded for in school to be like outspoken and to, you know, be very kind of I guess expressive. The traits that I was very rewarded for here were not super great here. You know, like the expectation for a young Vietnamese girl is to, you know, be nice, be sweet, be uh be quiet. And um quite honestly, uh I'm not quiet.

[00:01:36]I tend to be a straight shooter. And so, I kind of learned that it wasn't necessarily about not being able to speak in those other rooms. It was more so kind of like you have to pick the timing because like the Western standards is more of an individualistic society and the Eastern standards are more of a collective society. So, what you kind of have to do is just kind of show that you took in the consideration for the social fabric to say what you need to say. So, instead of just blurting it out when you Yeah, think it, you know, like oh, I don't like that. I don't like that. You kind of have to like wait for the timing and kind of show that consideration for everyone else and your point will get taken in way more. So, it's not about you can't say things, you know, you just have to deliver it in a little bit of a better way. When I was younger, I was in an international school, but it was British. And I remember getting marks taken off because I spelled color without a U. Okay? Like I don't really understand. And this kind of became a topic at one of like the parties with the parents, right?

[00:02:38]And when they started discussing it, I heard. And so, I grabbed my chair up to their table and I sat down and I was like, "Why do you think that?" And they were telling me how um it's not the proper English, you know, that spelling because they were British as well. And I was just saying to them like, "Well, I'm an American. And if the school is there to give me an education and to learn for business setting in the real world, I don't think a U would actually make any difference. And at the end of the day, I'm an American."

[00:03:08]So, you know, two truths can coexist at once.

[00:03:11]But yeah, when you do that in like a room full of adults, they think it's like, "Aw, cute." But yeah, anyway, so the teacher that I was questioning about that, he actually sent me to the principal's office because of it. And the principal agreed with me. So, yeah.

[00:03:25]But yeah, I've always kind of had this habit of, you know, just asking the questions. I think that that's what you're supposed to do, especially in an education environment. But I was sent to the principal's office quite a lot.

[00:03:36]Yeah. I mean, over the years, I've switched schools, you know, there are principals that have come and go, but they they all kind of know who I am because I get sent quite often. This has been a consistent theme. But my last principal in high school was pretty chill. He called me Cinders, not Cindy, because he said that whenever he saw me where there was smoke, there was probably fire. And >> [laughter] >> Yeah, he was really chill though. Okay, so like I remember one time I was running to class and my hand was on the doorknob. And the teacher came over and locked it and then started the class. And so, listen.

[00:04:10]In high school, I was at school and working at the same time. And so, because he put me out of the class for at least the first 15 minutes or whatever, I just kind of sat down and did work for another class.

[00:04:22]He came out and then he got upset that I was doing work for another class. And I explained to him like, "I'm already in school for a limited time, so if I cannot be in class, then I would rather use this time to finish work for another class, you know?" And yeah, so he let me go back in. Then he sent me to the principal's office after that class. And when I walked in, the principal heard me tell the story. And like listen, okay? If I got there and the door was already locked, that's one thing. But I had my hand on the doorknob. The bell was still like 20 seconds later and he ran to lock it.

[00:04:54]Like I think that's weird, you know? But yeah.

[00:04:58]At that point though, the principal kind of knew me and so he just like held me over lunch break and just like we had like a little catch-up session. But yeah, like he was more so just checking in on the all the other things that I had to balance because, you know, I was working at the same time. Like so, like if in school, I kept escalating things to the principal, I kind of operate the same way when it comes to work. And I'll be so honest with you, when I first started working at 14, my mother came with me everywhere as like protection for me, you know, because I'm under age and things like that. But quite soon, it kind of flipped to protection for everybody else.

[00:05:34]Because if I see something, I'm going to say something, you know? And I kind of had to like learn how to moderate that and how to like deliver that in a better way, you know? And so, if I escalated to the principal there, I would also do the same in Vietnam too.

[00:05:48]But it's the same thing. You kind of have to do it appropriately. Like this is an example. Like So, this was a job that I did that honestly, I would not take today, you know, but I've taken jobs before that I didn't want to take for a bag. And it was a [laughter] it was hosting this event for like one of those gambling websites, apps, kinds of things. I mean, you know, I'm bilingual. I can speak English and Vietnamese and I am pageant trained. So, you think I didn't cash in on some corporate gigs? Come on.

[00:06:17]Come on. But anyway, so that event was not public. It was a private event, which is also why I took it on as well.

[00:06:23]And usually for an event like this, you kind of get a color, like a theme color, and then you wear that. So, I brought three different options of like I think it was blue at the time. And instead, they brought out this costume. Like it was a high-grade cosplay costume, but it was of Wonder Woman. And I was just like, "You know what? Okay, I'll wear it. I'll wear it. I'll wear the Wonder Woman thing." And then a guy came over and wanted me to kind of make the rounds with the VIPs and say hi. And like listen, that is not my job, okay? That is not my job. If this was a foreigner speaking to me, I would have been like, "No." Um and also, you have to understand that usually the person that's like assigned to you doesn't have the authority or the decision-making power. And so, you know, you just go up the chain of command and you find out who actually is the decision-maker and then you talk to them.

[00:07:13]So, like that's how it should be done, right? But in Vietnam, there's another way you can do it too in like an Eastern cultural setting, which is where you still say the same thing, but you just say, "No.

[00:07:28]I'm I'm not going to do that. I came here to do this."

[00:07:32]And because you are not like expressing that frustration, because you are not expressing that then you are not disturbing the social fabric. And so, things will actually move much smoother. You got to be a little lighter, you know, a little lighter.

[00:07:48]But yeah, for an event like that, usually like they write a script in Vietnamese, right? And if you hire an English-speaking MC, they will have to then translate it into English. Whereas kind of because I am raised with both, because I speak both in like my home, I can just get a Vietnamese script with the formal Vietnamese and I can just translate it to English. You'll always see that in these events, like the Vietnamese is like a paragraph and English is a couple of lines because there is a difference between casual language and formal language in Vietnamese as well. That's also a cultural thing. That's something that you kind of have to understand. So, when you're speaking, depending on the room, you do have to be like mindful of the room, mindful of the social fabric.

[00:08:34]And so, if I say, "Hey everybody" in Vietnamese to my friends, right? It's "Cam on moi nguoi." But when it you say it in like a formal Vietnamese language for hosting, it's a "Kinh chao quy vi khan gia."

[00:08:46]It's way longer. It's way more formal.

[00:08:49]And for me personally, just I'm more of a straight shooter. And so, when I'm speaking English, this is my normal speaking voice, you know? But when I switch to Vietnamese, "Khi Cindy noi tieng Viet, giong co ay nghe nhe hon, nu tinh hon, de thuong hon."

[00:09:05]And that's because like I am able to deliver what I need to say and it sounds way less harsh. And so, yeah, you kind of have to like adjust yourself within the context. And that's just more so having respect, you know, for the environment, for the people around you.

[00:09:21]And I do think that having that experience has made me way more open-minded and kind of take into consideration what are the cultural norms, what are the cultural expectations, you know? Like I am not the most traditional Vietnamese girl, you know, I am not the most quiet girl, but I also don't like I also don't cause trouble. And so, what I found is that elders here kind of love me because I show up and I might not do exactly what they tell me to do, but I am so consistent in like the way that I move that they already know what I'm going to do. So, it's not going to be like an unpredictable problem, all of this kind of stuff.

[00:09:59]Like, they're just kind of like, "Yeah, I mean, I fit the social standards and the expectations of, you know, come dressed right, present yourself properly, all of this kind of stuff.

[00:10:07]But, you'll also find me like, you know, sitting on the uncles' table and drinking and smoking with them, too.

[00:10:12]Like, I'm a little bit in between. I have found myself in multiple settings where, like, I will get called in if something needs to be said. So, it's kind of like, you know, like, "Look at all those quiet girls over there. You see that one? That one's not actually quiet. Bring her."

[00:10:28]And so, I will be brought in when things need to be made more clear, as well. And I am so thankful for etiquette training because it trained me in both the social for informal and formal when it comes to moving about in Vietnam because those things you do have to take into consideration. Anyway, I hope you guys like this video. I'm going to put more of my Sit 'n' Yap videos down below in a playlist. And, yeah, I'll see you guys next time.