ZoomSession with Ajahn Martin (30/05/26)

Added: 2026-06-03

[00:01:55]You're back in Thailand?

[00:01:57]>> Singapore, Singapore.

[00:02:00]Tomorrow we >> What?

[00:02:06]I I can't hear him.

[00:02:07]>> Yeah, the voice is breaking up.

[00:02:09]>> Yeah.

[00:02:11]Is it okay now?

[00:02:12]>> Yeah, I think now it's okay. Yeah, now it's okay.

[00:02:17]Okay, we are going to be respectful and learn together.

[00:02:31]>> So, how many people are taking part?

[00:02:34]>> In total there are 14 14 people, all right.

[00:02:40]>> Mhm.

[00:02:42]And where are you?

[00:02:44]>> Me?

[00:02:45]>> Palala you?

[00:02:46]Yeah.

[00:02:48]>> Palala office.

[00:02:53]>> When when did you come back from Thailand?

[00:02:57]>> Came back on Thursday night.

[00:02:59]>> Thursday night. And tomorrow you go again?

[00:03:02]>> Yes, tomorrow I go again.

[00:03:04]>> [laughter] >> But why don't you get a residence in Thailand?

[00:03:10]>> Yes, there's work to do yesterday.

[00:03:13]Yeah, I have to be here for recent days also.

[00:03:17]>> [clears throat] >> No, why you come so often to Thailand?

[00:03:19]You you should get a Thailand residence.

[00:03:23]>> Yeah, same thing. I live and work in Singapore.

[00:03:26]>> [laughter] [clears throat] >> Okay, so what's going on? So, let's start with the Zoom session, yeah?

[00:03:37]And ask the questions.

[00:03:40]Okay, so let's start with the questions.

[00:03:44]>> Yes, Namasakun Ajahn.

[00:03:47]>> Oh, Hendrik, Hendrik, yeah.

[00:03:50]>> Uh yes.

[00:03:51]>> Where are >> Uh >> Okay. So, what is your question?

[00:03:59]>> Wait.

[00:04:00]I wrote my question.

[00:04:02]So, uh after I finish my meditation, uh I'll be strictly going to a restless mode because I'm going to do the reflection.

[00:04:17]So, I have been dragging myself along to do the reflection after my evening meditation.

[00:04:24]Uh but somehow I managed to get it done.

[00:04:28]Uh fast or slow but it never occurred to me uh never popped up the questions why and what is the result of the action I did during my reflection.

[00:04:41]And uh day after day I start to contemplating the questions why and the result during the day.

[00:04:49]Uh and strangely, actually, most of our actions of my action most of it have their own reason.

[00:04:59]But uh it never occurred to me when I'm doing my reflection.

[00:05:03]How should I do the reflection in the correct way, Ajahn?

[00:05:08]>> [clears throat] >> It is not important in the reflection, you know, I mean to look for the why and the results because when you look at your action, yeah, and you know what is coming before the action, and you know what happened after the action, you already know it.

[00:05:25]The why and the results are reasoning and they're they're just not not okay.

[00:05:32]You find your own reasons for your own actions, yeah? But when you just look, what are you doing, what are you feeling, what are you thinking, and then what you are doing, yeah, and then you know >> [clears throat] >> how do you feel after doing, yeah, what kind of thoughts are coming up? What kind of feelings are coming up?

[00:05:51]How can you not know?

[00:05:57]>> Can I Can I >> Yeah?

[00:06:00]Yeah?

[00:06:00]>> Yeah, uh yeah, because I'm I'm restless and I'm I want to do the reflection, so it's going like I want to do it as fast as possible, so everything is just like so so.

[00:06:14]>> Yeah, that's not That's not good in the beginning. Yeah? It will come, you know, towards the end the more you do it, you know, it will become very fast, but then you see very clearly what is happening.

[00:06:25]I mean, what kind of thoughts?

[00:06:27]Today today. What kind of thoughts did you wake up?

[00:06:33]What did you do that?

[00:06:34]>> I think not when when I I mean, during the day should I take note or uh when I wake up or okay, what is my talk when I wake up and uh before I do my things?

[00:06:47]>> No, the the reflection. Yeah, yeah. Only in the reflection. Yeah? What kind of thoughts did I have when I wake up, you know, what did I start doing that? Yeah?

[00:06:55]What what was my feelings? What were my thoughts, you know? Yeah? What was my action? All this only this. Yeah?

[00:07:03]We want to show the heart what it is doing. Yeah? And the heart knows why it is doing what are the results. Yeah?

[00:07:11]And the restlessness No, that's not good.

[00:07:17]>> That's not good. Okay, Acharya. I I I mean, maybe I will >> Then you think too much.

[00:07:23]>> Think too much.

[00:07:24]>> Mhm.

[00:07:25]And we don't want to think.

[00:07:28]>> Mhm.

[00:07:29]>> Because that is thoughts.

[00:07:31]Whenever we uh whenever we have a thought, you know, it is not, you know, what is really happening, so but what we think is happening.

[00:07:40]>> Mhm.

[00:07:43]So, we we I just have to know the thing that I'm doing.

[00:07:50]>> That's right.

[00:07:52]The things that you're doing, the things that you know, the things that are in your mind at that time before you're doing it, yeah?

[00:08:00]>> [clears throat] >> What kind of feelings, what kind of thoughts, you know?

[00:08:04]And then you will see, you know, I mean, yeah. It starts from the morning, you know, I mean >> [clears throat] >> what you what you feel, what you think, what you do, you know, I mean it it really colors your day.

[00:08:18]But you you know, when you think about it, you don't see it.

[00:08:23]But when you just ask the question, yeah? What kind What kind of thoughts did I wake up, yeah? What did I do then?

[00:08:30]I brushed my teeth, yeah? Yeah? What did I feel, you know, or what kind of thoughts were going on in my mind when I took a shower?

[00:08:38]Because you take a shower and you know, so many thoughts are going on, huh?

[00:08:44]>> Correct. I I never never occurred to me when I'm brushing my teeth, never once.

[00:08:48]It just passed through, but >> [laughter] >> Yeah, but something is going on in your head, yeah? The restlessness that you experience is not coming from from Yeah?

[00:09:00]From from zero space, yeah? It's coming from, you know, from your constant activity.

[00:09:07]>> So what what can I do with my restlessness before I'm doing my reflection at that?

[00:09:12]>> Budo budo budo budo budo.

[00:09:15]>> Or before I >> Yeah, yeah.

[00:09:16]>> doing my reflection.

[00:09:17]>> Yeah, yeah.

[00:09:18]>> Huh?

[00:09:19]>> You you go and start, you know, for at least half an hour, you know, try to calm your mind, yeah? Once you calm your mind, then you go and just ask question.

[00:09:31]I mean the heart the heart actually knows everything that you do, every every thought that you have, every emotion, every every [clears throat] feeling that comes up, yeah? You just want to know it.

[00:09:46]Okay?

[00:09:47]>> Let me let me try day by day, I think.

[00:09:53]Thank you, Adam.

[00:09:55]>> I don't know. I want to ask a question about pain investigation.

[00:10:01]>> Yeah?

[00:10:03]>> Uh so, actually for um when I was doing pain investigation, right? Uh I know I kind of like feel the pain. So, before it's like when I see the pain, I told myself that um it will be with me even when I die, and it should be my best friend uh all the way because the body will continue decaying. So, okay. So, I was able to embrace it better. Then, um is it okay that uh my actually um look at the pain, and um I know that I label it as pleasant, and there's the other side whereby it's not painful, and that was theoretically the pleasant, but I told myself that I was just labeling it, and I just continue with the investigation as it move along to other parts.

[00:10:52]>> Try to accept it first.

[00:10:55]Don't don't label it as, you know, being this or being that.

[00:11:00]Feel it.

[00:11:01]I just ask yourself, how does feel pain?

[00:11:07]>> Okay.

[00:11:09]Uh is it just a feeling? That's all. And yeah.

[00:11:14]>> That is the most important thing, yeah?

[00:11:17]And it's the most difficult thing because we don't like pain.

[00:11:22]That's why we want to get rid of pain.

[00:11:25]But our our investigation is not there to get rid of pain. It's to understand what is pain.

[00:11:33]How does it feel like? Breathe it in.

[00:11:38]>> Mhm.

[00:11:39]>> And then go to the location where it emanates from.

[00:11:45]>> Okay. All right. Um there is a All right. When I ask what is the feeling of pain, there should be an answer or there shouldn't be an answer?

[00:11:54]>> No.

[00:11:54]>> I just keep I just keep saying. Even if there's an answer, I ignore.

[00:11:58]>> You don't ask. You don't ask, you know?

[00:12:00]I mean, just just feel it.

[00:12:02]Accept it.

[00:12:05]>> Mhm.

[00:12:07]Okay.

[00:12:09]Okay. Uh the part I will try.

[00:12:12]Then um I wanted to ask I'm supposed to find the source of the feeling. So, when the feeling when the pain disappears, um I shouldn't go investigate where it is from anymore. I should just go back to my breath meditation, right?

[00:12:26]>> Yeah.

[00:12:26]>> Yeah.

[00:12:29]>> But then this is not real pain if it disappears.

[00:12:33]>> Uh yeah, yeah. The way I know the way I know and and I know I I like I ask and I try to control the intensity of the pain I can't do it. So, it's the part I know that it's uncontrollable and Uh yeah.

[00:12:45]So, I will continue working on it.

[00:12:49]Thank you.

[00:12:54]>> It's not easy to do pain investigation, yeah?

[00:12:57]I mean, we have to really breathe it in.

[00:13:00]Feel, yeah? We want to know the feeling of the pain.

[00:13:05]We don't want to get rid of pain because if we start to want to get rid of the pain because we don't like it, I mean, we will never experience it. And we cannot we cannot then, you know, at a later stage, you know, I mean, >> [clears throat] >> distinguish between what is pain, what is restlessness, how is the feeling of pain, restlessness, anger, or greed, you know, different.

[00:13:33]That's why we want to feel the feeling.

[00:13:38]And then, you know, once we feel the feeling, once we accept it, then we go to the location and ask where exactly is the pain.

[00:13:47]Is it in the skin? Is it in the bones?

[00:13:50]Is it in the tissue? Is it in the tendons, yeah? And we don't want any answers to come from.

[00:13:56]Because the answers are coming from the kleshas.

[00:14:01]So, we look in the bones, we look in the tissue, we look in the tendons, yeah?

[00:14:09]And the amazing thing is we cannot find it.

[00:14:12]Because it's not there.

[00:14:14]The moment you get up, it's gone.

[00:14:25]Okay?

[00:14:29]When are you coming?

[00:14:31]Uh August. August.

[00:14:36]>> Anyone else have questions?

[00:14:38]>> You hear the rain?

[00:14:41]>> No.

[00:14:42]The rain is still there?

[00:14:44]>> You don't hear the rain here?

[00:14:47]>> No.

[00:14:52]>> And the thunder? No?

[00:15:01]So, do you have any questions?

[00:15:04]No?

[00:15:06]You have so many questions, huh?

[00:15:08]No?

[00:15:10]>> Yeah, I am doing the work.

[00:15:12]>> Yeah.

[00:15:13]>> But now you talk to me today.

[00:15:16]If you body the body people >> Yeah. I mean, that's what we normally do, yeah?

[00:15:21]I mean, we fight every day, yeah?

[00:15:24]Learning to meditate is like learning to walk, yeah? We get up, we fall over, then we get up again, yeah? And fall over. And that's the same thing. You have with the Buddha or with the breath, you know, the mind goes out and we bring it back, yeah?

[00:15:39]And the bringing back is that what is more in, yeah?

[00:15:43]Takes all our energy.

[00:15:47]Uh no, that is what the kilesas I'm telling you.

[00:15:54]That's your thoughts and it's your, you know, I mean, whatever you think.

[00:16:01]Your reasoning.

[00:16:06]Yeah.

[00:16:07]Yes.

[00:16:11]Yeah, they don't have to be negative, yeah?

[00:16:15]But, you know, I mean, sometimes if you have the thought, now I want to go and sit down, yeah? And practice, that's a good thought, yeah? But, most of the thought, especially the reasoning or the explanations, yeah?

[00:16:29]These are coming from the kilesa.

[00:16:34]The question, you know, normally the thoughts that try to explain what is happening, yeah? It's always from the kilesa.

[00:16:47]Yeah.

[00:16:49]That is a fact, yeah?

[00:16:51]>> [cough] >> So, yeah?

[00:16:53]But, during the meditation, you don't worry about it. After the meditation, you go into this experience.

[00:17:00]And forgive your father.

[00:17:08]Yeah, because you don't forgive him completely.

[00:17:11]That's why there's still the scar.

[00:17:15]It happened in the past, yeah?

[00:17:17]And we know why it happened, yeah?

[00:17:20]Because of our karma.

[00:17:27]Because we have done the same thing in our previous lives to others.

[00:17:32]It looks like we are back on.

[00:17:34]>> Yeah.

[00:17:35]>> Okay.

[00:17:37]I mean there was a lightning, you know, that yeah.

[00:17:40]>> I I'm um struggling with um laziness lately and tiredness.

[00:17:48]With two little kids I usually feel very tired and I I don't when I try to um meditate I just won't feel I fall asleep very easy and I I don't want to do it.

[00:18:04]Um and um it's not only with meditation, it's with a lot of things I feel I feel not motivated. And I feel uh when I try to look at the uh laziness like at the moment where where I don't want to do something I try [clears throat] to look at it and then the feeling is gone for a small moment and for a small moment I feel I can do it sort of.

[00:18:33]But then it kicks back in and then I feel like I have to fight against it and I can't see it anymore and then it becomes a fight.

[00:18:42]>> But But what are you fighting?

[00:18:46]>> The laziness that are that comes up to not to not want to do take action.

[00:18:53]>> [clears throat] >> Uh-huh.

[00:18:54]>> That's what I feel.

[00:18:56]>> Yes.

[00:18:57]>> And then when I see it it's gone.

[00:18:59]>> But when you look at laziness it is gone.

[00:19:02]>> Yeah, exactly. But it just holds on for a small moment >> Yeah. And then it kicks back in and then I try to look [clears throat] at it again and then but it gets harder every time, and it all happens within a small amount of time, you know, and then it it starts to get like a fight with it, and then I can't look at it anymore, because I feel like I'm just fighting against it. So, I was wondering if you have any advice for that.

[00:19:27]>> Yeah, I mean, of course, you can fight against it, but you can also, you know, ignore it and say, just go back to the Buddha.

[00:19:35]Or go back to the breath.

[00:19:39]Because sometimes, you know, sometimes the fight comes from the kilesas, you know?

[00:19:44]They want to fight themselves, you know?

[00:19:46]I mean, they they they put up, you know, some something like in the ring, you know, put up a spare partner, yeah? Huh?

[00:19:52]And then you think, ah, wow, wow, this is really going on, yeah? But actually, nothing is going on, yeah? You fall You fall You fell into the trap of the kilesa. Just go back to the Buddha, yeah? I mean, if you Yeah, if if that the problem or, you know, the the result of our interest laziness is that what is a makes the laziness disappear.

[00:20:16]It's the same thing with restlessness.

[00:20:19]The moment we look at restlessness, we could become really interested. What does it How does it feel like?

[00:20:24]Restlessness disappear.

[00:20:26]Because restlessness is just a Our [clears throat] energy is completely, you know, completely not focused, yeah? Laziness, the same thing.

[00:20:35]We don't want to focus, yeah?

[00:20:37]On one thing. So, I mean, the the thing And that is the That is the real fight.

[00:20:42]We just go back to our Buddha. Just one Buddha. Just enjoy it.

[00:20:51]You cannot enjoy that, huh?

[00:20:54]>> [laughter] >> You're too serious.

[00:20:57]>> wants to get out.

[00:21:00]>> You're too serious sometimes.

[00:21:02]Yeah?

[00:21:04]>> Sorry? Just >> Too serious.

[00:21:08]>> Mhm.

[00:21:09]>> Just enjoy. One Buddha, you can enjoy.

[00:21:13]When this is is at the end, then enjoy the next Buddha. Or the breath, the same thing.

[00:21:18]One breath. I mean, there's no problem with one breath.

[00:21:23]But if you tell yourself, "Ah, 1 hour, you know." Then, of course, you know, it's over.

[00:21:29]>> Mhm.

[00:21:29]>> But you can do one breath. Ah, nice. And then you do the next breath. Ah, nice.

[00:21:35]Yeah?

[00:21:36]Why not?

[00:21:38]Try it out like this. Yeah? Or one breath, or one Buddha, or whatever.

[00:21:43]Yeah?

[00:21:46]Or tell yourself, yeah.

[00:21:48]>> [clears throat] >> Just Just Just 5 minutes. Just 5 minutes, you know. And then you just go on sitting, sitting, sitting, sitting.

[00:22:00]>> Yeah.

[00:22:01]Okay. Cuz I I do try, but I think I just have to go on and not not not give up, cuz that's just the way it is. But I notice it in everything. I notice it even when I I need to stand up or whatever action I need to take, you know. When I wake up and I have to stand up, I just feel, "Ah, I don't want to do it." And then I remember when I remember you saying like this. So, I try to look at the laziness at that moment because I don't want to get up. I just want to lay down and focus [clears throat] on um Buddha for a moment. And then it's it's gone for a while. But then it, you know, it keeps kicking in with with everything at the moment. And that's a bit a bit hard. And I feel more tired because everything turns into uh a fight against the laziness because I can't be aware too long for it to disap- to stay uh disappeared. Do you understand what I mean?

[00:23:00]>> Yeah, I understand what you mean, yeah.

[00:23:01]And uh then investigate. Investigate. Ask yourself, "What do I want to do?"

[00:23:12]At that moment, if you don't want to stand up, if you don't want, you know, go in the kitchen, you know, and do this or do that.

[00:23:20]What do you want to do?

[00:23:23]>> Well, then restlessness kicks in.

[00:23:25]>> Ah.

[00:23:31]Yes. Look look what what comes what comes before, you know, the laziness. What comes before the rest?

[00:23:37]What kind of thoughts, yeah? That's where, you know, the daily reflection really helps us, you know, to see how these things evolve.

[00:23:46]Mhm.

[00:23:47]Mhm.

[00:23:49]I mean, if you feel, you know, uh lazy to do this, lazy to do that, yeah? So, then ask yourself, "Okay, what do you want to do?"

[00:24:01]I mean, is the body tired? Look at the body, you know, uh >> [clears throat] >> go through the body, scan through the body, you know, maybe that is more interesting.

[00:24:10]Maybe that keeps your focus, yeah?

[00:24:12]Point-by-point wise, you know, go through the body, yeah?

[00:24:15]And feel the energy of the body, yeah?

[00:24:23]>> [clears throat] >> Okay?

[00:24:24]>> I'll try these things, you said. Thank you.

[00:24:26]>> Look look at it, yeah? I mean >> [clears throat] >> don't don't just fall for for for the labels that we put on, yeah?

[00:24:35]Ask yourself, you know, ask yourself, yeah? What what is going What the hell?

[00:24:39]I always ask myself, "What the hell is going on, yeah?"

[00:24:43]Mhm.

[00:24:44]Mhm.

[00:24:45]What am I doing, you know? Why am I doing the things that I'm doing, yeah?

[00:24:50]It helps a lot, you know, to to bring us understanding, yeah?

[00:24:55]Or what [clears throat] happened before, yeah? Sometimes, you know, before the laziness, yeah? I mean, what happened before Yeah? Before the laziness came in. What did I do then? Yeah?

[00:25:09]Okay.

[00:25:11]Okay?

[00:25:13]>> [clears throat] >> Thank you.

[00:25:16]>> Just one question today?

[00:25:20]>> [laughter] >> Yes, I haven't practiced much, so I am I don't want to I can't ask more questions. I just have these thoughts thoughts thoughts thoughts.

[00:25:30]It's nothing.

[00:25:31]>> [laughter] >> Yeah, that that of course, you know, I mean, thinking a lot makes us a lot of tired, yeah? That brings a lot of tiredness, yeah?

[00:25:38]I mean, try, you know, try doing doing your work, you know, when you go to work or when you sit in the bus, you know, or whatever, try to you to stay with the Buddha.

[00:25:50]Not only in pharmacy thing, yeah? Try try to to focus on on the Buddha, you know, in the times where you don't need to think about things.

[00:26:01]That keeps it That keeps it, you know, the >> [clears throat] >> the thoughts down, yeah? And then it is easier to meditate.

[00:26:09]Okay?

[00:26:11]>> Yeah.

[00:26:13]Thank you.

[00:26:14]Thank you.

[00:26:15]>> Yeah, you're welcome.

[00:26:18]So, Sonny.

[00:26:20]>> Yes, noble anyone else with questions?

[00:26:25]>> [clears throat] >> For anyone with questions, you can type it. Okay, we'll read it out for you.

[00:26:31]>> Yeah.

[00:26:33]Then I mean, that that is actually that is actually quite good, you know, because I'm >> The boy I think I think has got some more questions to ask.

[00:26:46]>> Okay.

[00:26:48]Andrei, go ahead.

[00:26:51]>> Um Ajahn >> Yeah.

[00:26:53]>> about pain investigation uh about accepting the pain, Ajaan, what if I cannot accept the pain?

[00:27:04]>> Then you cannot investigate.

[00:27:08]>> Then how do we really I >> [cough] >> try to accept the pain, but I I still can't manage really to accept the pain.

[00:27:19]>> I mean, if it's too much then, you know, raise the white flag and say, "Kilesa, you won."

[00:27:27]And next time I go a little bit longer.

[00:27:30]Yeah?

[00:27:32]Yeah?

[00:27:33]I mean, we lose, you know? I mean, Lung Ta Maha Boowa talked about meditation like uh like going into ring with a champion, yeah? We are completely un- inexperienced, you know, with boxing, yeah? So, we go in the ring with the champion, you know, and we come into, you know, into the ring and the champion knocks us out.

[00:27:52]Yeah? And the only thing that we can do is the moment we wake up, yeah? We go back in the ring again, yeah?

[00:28:00]Until we learn how it, you know, how the kilesas uh uh >> [clears throat] >> kicking, you know, kicking us uh or knocking us, yeah? Out, yeah?

[00:28:10]That's the only thing we can do. So, we raise, but we have to know, yeah? I mean, we just don't stop, yeah? We have to know, "Okay, kilesa, this yeah you defeated [clears throat] me. I'm I'm defeated, yeah? You're you're the winner, yeah? But next time I just do a little bit more."

[00:28:28]Yeah?

[00:28:31]>> Thank you, [clears throat] Ajaan. So, it's about uh great >> Great?

[00:28:37]>> Mhm. Great. Yeah, like we have to do it again and again and again and again.

[00:28:43]>> Oh, that is patience and effort.

[00:28:46]>> Yeah, effort, yeah. okay. Okay, Ajahn.

[00:28:49]Thank you, Ajahn.

[00:28:52]>> That is what is lacking in most of us, yeah? Effort, patience, endurance, yeah?

[00:28:59]Huh?

[00:29:00]Ah, it's so difficult. Ah, it's so difficult. What is difficult?

[00:29:05]We never ask ourselves the question, what is so difficult?

[00:29:09]I cannot do one more breath?

[00:29:11]Is that difficult? One breath?

[00:29:13]You constantly breathe.

[00:29:15]Yeah?

[00:29:17]One more step, you know, when we do walking meditation, we cannot do one more step, yeah?

[00:29:23]We come always, you know, the problem with with this, you know, with our meditation, that the kilesas always interfere and say, "Oh, you're tired, huh? Oh, you know, oh, you walked you know, you worked so hard, yeah?"

[00:29:36]And we believe the kilesas. Yeah, "Yeah, you're true. Yes, you are my master, huh?"

[00:29:42]But actually, you know, I mean, when you notice it, yeah? And it it happened to me, you know, I was >> [clears throat] >> doing walking meditation in the snow in in in England, yeah?

[00:29:55]And the kilesas, you know, constantly, you know, constantly said, "Ah, this is yeah, this is uncomfortable. It's cold and so on, yeah? I don't want to do meditation." I said, "You don't have to do the meditation, yeah? You go and sit there and I do the walking."

[00:30:14]Huh?

[00:30:15]It's not me. The kilesas are not me, not mine, not myself, yeah? I mean, that is the teaching of anatta, Whatever comes into the mind, you know, whatever the kilesas tell us, it's not me, it's not mine, yeah? The feelings are not me and mine. I cannot change the feelings, yeah? I cannot change the thoughts, yeah?

[00:30:36]When the thoughts arise in us, yeah? I didn't invite them to come. When the feelings arise, I didn't them to come.

[00:30:43]Yeah?

[00:30:44]They just appear, you know, just like the rain now. Yeah? I didn't invite the rain and the thunder to come.

[00:30:50]They still come.

[00:30:52]So, I live with the experience, you know, of the rain and the thunder. Yeah?

[00:30:56]>> [clears throat] >> But, I don't say it is as me as mine.

[00:31:01]It's not my decision. Yeah?

[00:31:04]So, I tell them, "Okay, if you're tired, go to sleep and let me sit."

[00:31:09]Yeah?

[00:31:12]That's amazing. Huh?

[00:31:14]You understand?

[00:31:16]This is very important, you know, to use that principle.

[00:31:21]Not me, not mine, it's not myself. Yeah?

[00:31:24]Whatever I can experience, you know, I mean, think about it. Yeah?

[00:31:29]There's somebody that experience something.

[00:31:33]But, the something cannot be him.

[00:31:35]The one who experiences it. So, when I experience a feeling, then the one who experience a feeling cannot be the feeling. Subject cannot be the object.

[00:31:47]If we understand that, if we use that.

[00:31:49]Yeah?

[00:31:50]Ronaldo.

[00:31:54]Very important. Yeah? Not to let these things, you know, attack us, you know, and say that it's me, it's mine, it's my Yeah? My drama or my feeling or my emotion. Yeah? No.

[00:32:06]There is an emotion. Yeah? There is a feeling. There's a thought. Yeah?

[00:32:13]And I can observe the thought. And I can observe the feeling.

[00:32:19]This principle of anatta is very important. Yeah?

[00:32:22]In Yeah?

[00:32:25]To help us, you know, with your practice.

[00:32:28]That's why I said, you know, "Okay, if you're tired, go to sleep. I walk."

[00:32:35]Understand?

[00:32:39]>> I understand my son. Thank you, sir.

[00:32:42]>> Yeah, may understood?

[00:32:45]We We are always talking in by you know that the assumptions you know that the killers us you know tell us always this is so tiring. And then ask what is tiring? How does it feel like? Huh?

[00:32:59]And then there's nothing tired. Yeah?

[00:33:04]Oh, I I'm so confused. You know what is confusion? Oh, this is not the right way. What is the right way? Huh? We know what is the right way. We stay with the Buddha. That is the right way. We are off the Buddha. That is the wrong way.

[00:33:19]Very simple actually.

[00:33:22]But we constantly forget it. That is the problem.

[00:33:25]Yeah? Ronaldo?

[00:33:27]>> Is there Is there a deeper level there?

[00:33:30]>> Yes, there's a deeper level.

[00:33:35]Yeah?

[00:33:37]>> Yes.

[00:33:39]Actually when you be meditating, meditating >> Yeah.

[00:33:42]>> for years and years and And you find it out all of these things and you release them and let them go.

[00:33:50]But you still have it in your nervous system.

[00:33:53]That's what I know in my nervous system.

[00:33:55]I may still in the You know I have two branches, the sympathetic and the parasympathetic.

[00:34:00]>> You have the what?

[00:34:02]>> It's the nervous system.

[00:34:03]>> Yeah?

[00:34:03]>> Nervous system.

[00:34:04]>> Yeah.

[00:34:04]>> It has two branches.

[00:34:05]Sympathetic and the parasympathetic.

[00:34:08]You want to >> Forget about it.

[00:34:10]>> The one that vigilant, the one of the That's why most of us we still in that.

[00:34:17]You probably not probably not absolutely not but we we're vigilant and try to even even my skin with the mosquito. Look at that.

[00:34:24]That's a reaction.

[00:34:25]It's solid. That That's a part of of my nervous system.

[00:34:30]>> No, not your nervous system.

[00:34:32]Not your nervous system.

[00:34:34]>> The central nervous system everybody is the control the controller of the spectrum of >> Yes.

[00:34:41]But you have to experience you have to experience the state when the chitta is sleeping or is at sleep.

[00:34:50]Then there's no reaction in the body.

[00:34:53]>> So then you go to sleep and then >> No, yeah.

[00:34:56]Just just listen.

[00:34:58]I mean what you say, you know, there is this and there is that, yeah. I mean go to you know, I mean said there is so two souls inhabiting my chest.

[00:35:07]The soul of darkness and the soul of light.

[00:35:12]And these are constantly fighting against each other.

[00:35:17]And there's only one, yeah, one throne.

[00:35:20]Whoever sits on that throne has has a complete command of the body.

[00:35:27]I mean, you have been driving a car.

[00:35:31]Without you the car doesn't go.

[00:35:35]So you could say there's a car and there's you, yeah. No, but the car doesn't do anything without you doing it.

[00:35:43]And that is the same.

[00:35:45]>> [cough] >> That is the same with the chitta.

[00:35:52]The chitta is the driver of this body.

[00:35:55]When the chitta, you know, is going into samadhi the body is completely quiet.

[00:36:03]There's no reaction. And that is, yeah, I mean, yes, I know it is difficult to get to this state, but that is what we are trying to go, yeah.

[00:36:13]Constantly staying, no matter what, yeah.

[00:36:16]I [clears throat] thought so many things, yeah. I mean, we just go back, go back, go back, you know, go back to the Buddha, go back to the breath until the mind gets completely quiet.

[00:36:28]And once you experience a quietness, you don't want to let go of it.

[00:36:33]Because it's so pleasant.

[00:36:36]>> I know that and I understand intellectually.

[00:36:39]>> Good. Now you have to do it.

[00:36:41]>> But in my heart >> Yeah.

[00:36:44]>> in God I still protect I still envision >> Yes. And that is what you have to let go of.

[00:36:53]Yeah. When it comes up, you accept it, you acknowledge it, you know, and then go back to the Buddha.

[00:37:00]You don't take it as face value.

[00:37:04]Okay, yeah. And if you want, you know, if it is really bothering you and during meditation, then after meditation then go and sit down, you know, what is that?

[00:37:14]Yeah. Then investigate it.

[00:37:17]But not during the in meditation, but after investigate after the meditation.

[00:37:25]So many things, I mean, I I went through all of this, yeah. So I mean, I know it it works.

[00:37:32]But we have to be a little bit more persistent. Yeah.

[00:37:36]So whenever something some problem came up during my meditation, I said, "Okay, there's this problem. If you remember it after the meditation, then you work on it."

[00:37:46]And 90% of the time I even didn't know, you know, when I went out of meditation what the what what was the problem.

[00:37:53]I only know that there was a problem, but I couldn't remember it.

[00:37:57]Yeah. But you know, sometimes there was, you know, and then I looked at it, you know, and try to solve it.

[00:38:04]You cannot solve it the first time, yeah. I mean, especially, you know, if it is deep down, yeah.

[00:38:10]And most of the time is we we look, yeah. We look at things, you know, with a certain mind, yeah. With a certain kind of assumptions, yeah.

[00:38:21]And that's where meditation helps, you know, we leave out all the assumptions.

[00:38:25]We just look at the facts. Yeah?

[00:38:28]But then you say this happened or that happened. Yeah? What happened actually?

[00:38:33]What happened in the realm of the body?

[00:38:35]There are feelings, there are thoughts, there are emotions, there is this and there is that. Yeah?

[00:38:40]That's all what is happening.

[00:38:45]>> And we got to the practical level to go a little bit more to that.

[00:38:50]>> Yeah?

[00:38:51]>> [clears throat] >> Yeah? Yeah?

[00:38:54]>> I've been working towards abundance.

[00:38:58]I've been raised in a house of poverty.

[00:39:02]Poverty.

[00:39:04]>> Poverty?

[00:39:05]>> Poverty. Yeah, and I'm always going back, working hard, and making money.

[00:39:10]>> Yeah?

[00:39:11]>> Going back to the program. It's less than that.

[00:39:13]>> Mhm?

[00:39:14]>> It's a okay. Scarcity.

[00:39:17]Scarcity. Scarcity is ingrained. And it's even I find that it's generational.

[00:39:22]Not just in this life.

[00:39:24]>> Yeah?

[00:39:24]>> My parents, my great-grandparents, everybody.

[00:39:27]>> Mhm?

[00:39:28]>> In my in my lineage.

[00:39:29]>> Yeah?

[00:39:30]>> So >> But it's gone now.

[00:39:32]>> It's not it's gone. Yeah, I'm still living in this person. That is >> You're living in the what?

[00:39:38]>> Scarcity. Scarcity.

[00:39:40]>> No money, no food.

[00:39:42]>> No money.

[00:39:43]Either I give a little more heart for that.

[00:39:47]>> Yeah?

[00:39:48]>> [clears throat] >> Mhm?

[00:39:49]Yeah?

[00:39:50]>> Whatever it takes just for money.

[00:39:52]>> Yeah?

[00:39:53]>> Wow, that's still a lesson to learn, but and that's because my nervous system is being used to >> No, it's not the nervous system. It's your thoughts. It's your ideas. It is this.

[00:40:05]>> My mind, too.

[00:40:07]>> Yeah, it's your ideas. It's you know, I mean, you don't like poverty. You know, most of the people don't like poverty.

[00:40:13]Well, so we should ask where is poverty coming from?

[00:40:18]It's coming from stinginess.

[00:40:21]Stinginess.

[00:40:23]We don't Yeah.

[00:40:25]Yeah. We don't want to give.

[00:40:27]Yeah.

[00:40:28]For people who don't want to give, yeah, they will end up in poverty.

[00:40:37]That's is the law of karma.

[00:40:39]>> [clears throat] >> So, people who are very stingy in their previous life That's actually a nice There's a nice Yeah. Who are stingy in in in the previous life, you know, >> [clears throat] >> they will become very poor in the next life.

[00:40:54]And that's probably what happened to you. Yeah. So, you have to face it and said, "Okay, let's be generous."

[00:41:01]And if you don't have money, you can be generous with your time.

[00:41:06]Giving people, helping other people, yeah, that is generosity.

[00:41:13]Yeah. And then it becomes better. Yeah.

[00:41:15]I mean that the the the story, yeah, that is in in the Lord Buddha's, you know, I mean There There used to be a monk.

[00:41:25]>> [clears throat] >> He became a monk, yeah.

[00:41:27]And What What was it Moka Mokallana and Sariputta saw that whenever this monk was on pindapada, the lay people never put some food in it. Just a little bit.

[00:41:42]Yeah.

[00:41:43]I mean, three or four grains of rice.

[00:41:46]And they thought, "Well, that is strange." Yeah.

[00:41:49]>> [clears throat] >> What happened to it? Yeah. So, then then they told this monk to go in the front, you know, where the lay people have lots of food, you know.

[00:41:57]But even then, he didn't. Yeah. He only got a little bit.

[00:42:03]And then he was at the end. He got a little bit.

[00:42:07]Huh?

[00:42:08]>> [clears throat] >> And then Sariputta and Mogallana said, "Ah."

[00:42:12]Yeah. when he was sitting down, he had his arms full. So, this filled up his arms full, yeah? And Mogallana put the hand on so that the devas couldn't take the food away, yeah?

[00:42:25]So, this time he could eat, you know, he could eat, you know, to the fullest.

[00:42:31]But in the evening, he died because of constipation.

[00:42:36]That is, yeah? And the Lord Buddha explained it, you know, for seven lifetimes, you know, he was very stingy.

[00:42:42]He never gave anything away, yeah?

[00:42:46]And that's why this happened to him. But he had, you know, he had the fortune, you know, to be born in the times of the Lord Buddha, and, you know, and and listen to his talks, you know, and be with Mogallana and Sariputta, yeah?

[00:43:01]But stinginess leads to poverty, yeah?

[00:43:03]So, you accept it, and then it's over.

[00:43:08]Then be just be happy with whatever is given to you, and try to be helpful to others.

[00:43:13]Give your time to others, yeah? Help others, yeah?

[00:43:24]Of course, because now, because of our greed, we want yeah?

[00:43:31]And we want things for ourselves. We don't like to give to others.

[00:43:36]So, we have to change it by trying to give to others.

[00:43:41]And then this, yeah? What you feel, you know, like this big, you know, big stone in your big stone or big burden, yeah? I mean we loosen up, loosen up, loosen up.

[00:43:54]And you will find, you know, the more you give, you know, I mean, the happier you become.

[00:44:03]And that stone, you know, I mean, slowly diminish. All these things, you know, are not fixed. I mean, we look at the world, it's not fixed, you know, it's constantly changing. All these things, also your characteristic tendencies are changing, yeah?

[00:44:18]Over time, yeah? From from the time you were born until you're you're 50 or 60 or 70, yeah? I mean, things have changed, yeah?

[00:44:27]So, we can change things, yeah?

[00:44:29]I mean, you just have to approach it, you know, in the positive way.

[00:44:34]If you know the reason for it, yeah?

[00:44:39]Then you can go against, you know, your habits, your old habits, yeah? To take take take take take, yeah? No. Give give give give give.

[00:44:50]For instance, in the morning, you see some good food, you know, but uh okay, maybe the others like it as well.

[00:44:56]Huh?

[00:44:58]That's already starting, yeah?

[00:45:01]Okay?

[00:45:02]>> So, how do you know me and What would be your advice? Let's say >> [clears throat] >> from 10 to 10 >> Yeah, yeah.

[00:45:10]>> Correct.

[00:45:10]>> Yeah? What what would I advise? I mean, you go for instance to the Brahmin and can say, "Can I help you with anything?"

[00:45:18]Yeah?

[00:45:19]Is there something to do? There's always a little bit to do, yeah? Then you then you work for an hour, you know, cut some trees or, you know, cut some grass or what whatever whatever is necessary or help or help with the duties or wash, you know, help with the washing up and things like that.

[00:45:38]That's a start, yeah?

[00:45:40]And you will see, yeah? I mean, helping others, yeah?

[00:45:45]Make make us feel, you know, happy.

[00:45:52]Hm? It's just yeah, I mean, Roy Roy knows it. He's very generous, yeah? I mean, he likes to give, yeah?

[00:46:00]And he knows, you know, when when when he when he thinks about giving, you know, he's already happy, yeah? When he gives, he's happy, yeah? And when we receive it back, you know, he's also happy.

[00:46:11]Three times, you know, just with one action.

[00:46:16]Just the thought, you know, of helping, you know, already makes us happy, yeah?

[00:46:20]The action also makes us happy.

[00:46:23]Yes?

[00:46:25]Look at me.

[00:46:26]>> [laughter] >> Okay?

[00:46:30]>> [clears throat] >> So, any more questions, yeah? From Singapore or yeah?

[00:46:36]>> Yeah, one more from Netherlands.

[00:46:39]>> Netherlands. Ah.

[00:46:42]Yes?

[00:46:44]>> I had a question on what you said earlier. Um I heard you say like when um sometimes the kilesas tell you to stop, and then another voice as well, you can stop, but I go on. But isn't that kilesas too?

[00:47:00]>> No.

[00:47:01]>> To say that.

[00:47:02]>> Yeah, I mean, you can call them, yeah?

[00:47:04]There's a good kilesas.

[00:47:05]>> they're good kilesas, but but it's still even those thoughts are not you, right?

[00:47:10]>> We need the kilesas, yeah?

[00:47:13]Mhm. For any kind of action, we need the will, you know, I mean, that is what what is at the top, the top of the chain is the will, yeah? So, we need the will, you know, to go, you know, to nibbana or to do the practice, yeah? Right? So, in that sense, you know, it's a good, yeah?

[00:47:30]As long as you know, I mean, this this helps me with my practice, yeah? These are the good kilesas, yeah? And the ones who want, you know, who don't want, who ah, no, I'm in too lazy, too lazy, ah, it's so boring, ah, it's so boring.

[00:47:44]These are the kilesas who want to drag you away.

[00:47:48]And I mean, remember what I said, you know, Goethe said there are two souls inhabiting my chest, and they're constantly fighting.

[00:47:57]>> Yeah, and sometimes it's it's quite I mean for this is quite clear which which is the light and which is the dark, but well, for some things in just regular life, sometimes all these these thoughts are can be quite confusing in which one is the light and which one is the dark.

[00:48:15]>> I mean if you if you have a practice, if you have a Dharma, then you know. I mean, as long as I have sati, you know, as long as I know what I'm doing, why am I doing and what is the result of my doing, I'm on the right way.

[00:48:29]>> Yeah, that's what I go back to when I when I'm just confused and I just got started into thinking, I just go back to the breath because at least I know that's what I think it's good.

[00:48:38]>> See.

[00:48:39]>> [laughter] >> You already know it, but >> still sometimes sometimes it's confusing. That's all those thoughts.

[00:48:46]Okay, that's [clears throat] it. I just want to know for sure.

[00:48:49]>> Okay.

[00:48:50]So, Sani, then we can close or what?

[00:48:57]>> I think they're normal.

[00:48:59]>> Okay.

[00:49:01]>> The period is fixed to long come.

[00:49:04]You understand?

[00:49:15]>> How how many people are in the room where you are?

[00:49:20]>> No, they're like five five other people.

[00:49:25]>> Ah, okay. Okay.

[00:49:26]So, everybody, you know, practice as much as you can, yeah? And don't listen to the klesa so much.

[00:49:36]Remember, you know, I mean, can always say, "Oh, I'm so tired." Yeah? Okay, go to sleep, but I do my practice.

[00:49:44]Yeah.

[00:49:46]Because we know it's not me, it's not mine, yeah? It's just a thought, yeah?

[00:49:51]But we we think, you know, we take the thought as reality.

[00:49:56]Yeah?

[00:49:57]This is what I have to do. Why do I have to do?

[00:50:00]What is the purpose of me doing it?

[00:50:02]Yeah?

[00:50:03]We never ask this question. We just do.

[00:50:05]We just do, yeah? We're just like, you know, little >> [clears throat] >> little kids, you know, I mean, you know, just want to play, yeah?

[00:50:13]Even if you are 70 years old, you know, we want to play. We just do. We just do.

[00:50:18]Whatever comes in our mind, we just go on and doing it, yeah? Well, sometimes we think about it, you know, is it's helpful or not helpful or if it this purpose or that purpose. But yeah, we we never ask, you know, I mean, how do we feel about it?

[00:50:34]What brings us to this action, yeah?

[00:50:36]What brings us to this thought? What came before that thought, yeah?

[00:50:41]You want to escape restlessness or boredom, yeah? That's why you think, yeah?

[00:50:46]Or you do this action because you want to escape, you know, boredom or restlessness or pain or whatever, yeah?

[00:50:53]There's always something unpleasant, you know, I mean, before that, yeah? Be it hunger You know, when we are hungry, you know, we want to eat something, you know? But sometimes we we are not hungry and still want to eat something because we are bored or we are frustrated, you know, whatever.

[00:51:09]Yeah?

[00:51:12]So, we don't know, you know, we just do things, you know, without knowing why we are doing it, you know, and what what is the results of it. Okay? So, bye-bye, everybody, yeah? Have a nice night and practice, yeah? And practice as much as you can.

[00:51:28]>> Thank you, sir. Good evening.

[00:51:33]>> Tomorrow Tomorrow evening is chanting, yeah? Tomorrow is Saturday morning.

[00:51:37]Tomorrow evening evening is chanting after the chanting.

[00:51:40]And then we also listen to a talk.

[00:51:43]Yeah, quite a lot of Thai pieces. I don't know how how long they are going to stay.

[00:51:48]Some of them longer.

[00:51:51]Where where did you come from?

[00:51:54]From home? Is it in the park?

[00:52:00]Yeah.

[00:52:02]You okay, Alec?

[00:52:05]Cut.

[00:52:11]You must not run away from me.

[00:52:14]Where did you I have something to ask you.

[00:52:20]Do you want to give up?

[00:52:22]I mean, now you're already practicing so much. You want to give up?

[00:52:26]You don't want to go home?

[00:52:28]You want to be born again?

[00:52:31]And again, and again, and again, and again. Yeah?

[00:52:36]Go through the same problems that you go around now in your life, yeah?

[00:52:41]Because in next life, you will have face the same problems, yeah?

[00:52:45]It's just like you go from one country to the next country. After 2 or 3 weeks, enough. The problems are still the same.

[00:52:52]Wherever you go, yeah? You face the same problems.

[00:52:57]Okay?

[00:54:04]>> Mhm.