It's Sexy Time! - Joined A Gym Now Girlfriend Thinks I'm Cheating

Añadido: 2026-05-16

[00:00:00]Oh, look at this new hairo. There she is. It's the lovely Ali Breen in purple.

[00:00:04]>> Is there a new hairdo?

[00:00:06]>> There's kind of a weird light. It looks like you're an avatar.

[00:00:10]>> That's so funny. I I got like this ring light to bring with me and Yeah, it only is showing on this blue hue.

[00:00:19]>> I think it broke in my bag.

[00:00:21]>> Now, are you in Are you in Europe?

[00:00:23]>> London?

[00:00:24]>> No, I'm in DC. I actually had a a show at this place called The Ned last night and I'm Yeah.

[00:00:30]>> leaving today.

[00:00:31]>> Oh, you're heading to London today. Is that right?

[00:00:34]>> No, I don't go to London till the 23rd.

[00:00:38]>> Oh, well, she's so such a traveler. I never know. Ally Breed is a comedian. A world traveler. And she is also the host of the show we call Sexy Time. And uh we try to help your love troubles. We have a lot of experience in this room.

[00:00:52]>> Oh yes.

[00:00:53]>> Oh yeah.

[00:00:54]>> Trouble. and we'll see how we do. Um Ally, let's get right to the letters.

[00:00:57]What have you got for us?

[00:00:59]>> Dear Ally, I just started going to the gym and biking because it's nice weather and my girlfriend is acting like that is suspicious. I invite her to go with me, but she says I'm only doing that because I know she's not going to want to go.

[00:01:14]>> Am I dating a crazy person?

[00:01:15]>> Yes. Get out now. The answer, unfortunately, really is yes.

[00:01:23]She's she don't she's not the one for you.

[00:01:25]>> You do not need that for the rest of your life.

[00:01:26]>> Oh >> yeah. Also, if she went with him, I don't even know what would change. He's still >> the size of her ass.

[00:01:34]>> That often uh >> there's that is the cause of that.

[00:01:40]>> I'm just saying diet and exercise wouldn't help you.

[00:01:43]They're happy heavy.

[00:01:43]>> Yeah, that's this isn't for you.

[00:01:45]>> Why are you assuming you're not happy?

[00:01:48]>> Just cuz I can tell.

[00:01:51]It's her pros.

[00:01:52]>> If she's unreasonable, >> and that's Yeah, she'd be unreasonable ordering from a menu, I think, is what?

[00:02:00]>> Okay. Uh uh you can reach Alli Breen, A L L I B R E N, at your favorite social media platform. And uh uh just ask us your love troubles. For example, this one. What have you got, Ally?

[00:02:13]>> Here, Ally. My boyfriend's roommate just went through a breakup and he's been hanging out with us a lot for moral support. I'm starting to feel like there's kind of a connection between me and him, and I don't know how to ask if he feels the same. Do I need to wait and see if he brings it up? I really think he might be a better match for me. What do I do here?

[00:02:31]>> Okay, wait a minute. Wait, go slow here.

[00:02:33]Someone walk me through this.

[00:02:34]>> Her boyfriend, >> his friend just went through a a breakup and he's been hanging out with the two of them a lot.

[00:02:40]>> Oh, so she she's more attracted to her boyfriend's buddy.

[00:02:44]>> Yes.

[00:02:45]>> Yep. Exactly. and thinks that he feels the same but doesn't know how to put out the feelings.

[00:02:52]>> You have to move to another state and you won't have a friend anymore. But >> just have sex with them. See what happens.

[00:02:58]>> Yeah. See if if it clicks before you ruin a relationship.

[00:03:01]>> This is a bummer.

[00:03:02]>> Yeah. Just cheat. Yeah, I mean her she's >> I I had this happen where uh my uh my lady uh was ended up with my best friend and they are they've been married for uh 35 years.

[00:03:16]>> See, that's the thing. Two kids. It's like the It was like >> Are you still friends with them?

[00:03:19]>> Oh god, no. I hate them.

[00:03:21]>> Right. But it was like the right thing for them to do.

[00:03:23]>> Yeah, right. Like it actually I knew a couple that happened to too in LA. It was a comic and an agent and the agent was cheating on her with her best friend.

[00:03:34]>> Well, I thought he was only supposed to take 10%.

[00:03:37]>> Oh my injury, >> man. I you know, the answer is you got to break up with the guy you're with.

[00:03:46]You're you've already found somebody you think might be better, which means there are probably other guys out there.

[00:03:51]>> So, if you break up with him and you go to the other guy and he doesn't like want to have anything to do with you, >> then you move on completely.

[00:03:57]>> Yeah. You have to find somebody else.

[00:03:58]>> You got to go to the guy in the first letter. Uh cuz he's going to be single, right?

[00:04:03]>> Because he he dumped Chuckles, >> right?

[00:04:07]>> Yeah, that's what we should start doing is mashing up the people from all of the letters.

[00:04:12]>> Oh, that's a great idea.

[00:04:14]>> The worst dating site ever.

[00:04:16]>> That's actually that would not be a bad premise for a Hallmark movie.

[00:04:22]>> I don't know if it's Hallmark, but >> or or a porno. Yeah.

[00:04:28]>> Yeah.

[00:04:28]>> Yeah. Some radio show where they uh you could they hook up people and be be kind of fun. Let's just move on. Sorry. Ally Breen is our guest. Uh we have a sexy time. More letters from you to help you with your problems. What have we got?

[00:04:42]Ally.

[00:04:43]>> Dear Ally, my boyfriend just found out that I used to hook up with one of my best friends and now he won't let me hang out with him anymore. We had hooked up in college and I'm now 37. But he says whenever he sees me, he's probably thinking about the times that we hooked up. I told him he's nuts. We've been friends forever, and the hookup phase was only for like a year. We've been friends with no tension forever. He said, "That's one-sided. What do I do about this?"

[00:05:07]>> You got to break up with this guy, >> man.

[00:05:11]>> Jeez.

[00:05:11]>> Why is everyone so insecure?

[00:05:13]>> I don't know.

[00:05:14]>> All I know is we got a three-way now with letter number one, number two, and number three.

[00:05:19]>> Yeah. Leave them. You got to get rid of that idiot.

[00:05:24]I mean, I I just have no patience for that kind of insecurity.

[00:05:27]>> Yeah.

[00:05:28]>> Yeah. It's so unattractive, too. I don't know why >> why she want to be with that guy. Yeah.

[00:05:34]>> Exactly.

[00:05:35]>> Yeah.

[00:05:37]>> Okay. Move on.

[00:05:38]>> This is one of the rare times we've just got nailed every one of these.

[00:05:42]>> Wow. We We're going to get We're going to get the Nobel Prize.

[00:05:44]>> We're going to be called the break soon.

[00:05:46]>> Okay. Uh Ally, what do you got?

[00:05:48]>> Time. Dear Ally, I've been talking to a guy on Twitter for a month and he asked me out to dinner on Saturday. Then he asked if I could pick him up because his car is at the shop.

[00:06:00]>> Thank >> I was kind of put off like I'm a mom picking up her kid for soccer. Isn't that weird? Why wouldn't he take an Uber like a functional adult?

[00:06:08]>> We we had that survey. Do you remember the stat on this?

[00:06:12]>> What?

[00:06:12]>> No.

[00:06:13]>> 3% of men would be willing to do that.

[00:06:17]>> Allow Oh. allow a woman to drive on the first date. That's right.

[00:06:20]>> And didn't you do the math on this, Jeff?

[00:06:22]>> Wasn't that the percent of guys with DUIs?

[00:06:26]>> Yeah. Yes.

[00:06:28]>> That worked out perfectly.

[00:06:30]>> Yeah, that's weird.

[00:06:32]>> That's right. He could take an Uber.

[00:06:34]>> Yeah, >> right.

[00:06:35]>> This guy's offered. That's one thing, but yeah, for him to ask around on a date and then be like, and also, can you come get me? Huge red flag.

[00:06:45]>> Unless he doesn't drive. Remember we had the guy, our comedian guest yesterday doesn't drive at all.

[00:06:50]>> Yeah, but you would say that. And our comedian guest, Derek, didn't he Ubered everywhere?

[00:06:54]>> Yeah.

[00:06:55]>> So, yeah.

[00:06:56]>> Why don't you just tell him, "Hey, no, go ahead and Uber to the place.

[00:07:00]>> Why?

[00:07:01]>> I'll meet you there.

[00:07:02]>> You don't need to ride us.

[00:07:03]>> Why don't you ask Captain Success why he doesn't have a car or drive?

[00:07:06]>> And my wallet's being fixed."

[00:07:11]>> Maybe he wanted to save money for dinner.

[00:07:14]>> Yeah.

[00:07:14]>> Yeah. Maybe he's blind. I don't know.

[00:07:16]>> Oh jeez. You think that would come out before?

[00:07:19]>> I don't know.

[00:07:20]>> Well, that would explain why his car is in the shop.

[00:07:23]>> Right.

[00:07:25]>> You think you'd wait to tell somebody you're blind until the first date?

[00:07:28]>> Yeah. I ran into a pole right outside the dealership. Nobody said you had to be >> Okay. Uh, well, another another problem solved. Uh, Alli Breen can be reached once again. A L L I B ren. Alli is a fine standup comedian. Where'd you say you were on your way to?

[00:07:47]>> No, I just finished it last night in DC.

[00:07:49]Okay.

[00:07:50]>> Which I was telling Jason is tough because uh they are very touchy about politics. I mean, a lot of stuff in general.

[00:07:57]>> Isn't that so funny that that of all places they don't want to hear about that? Yeah, >> exactly. You think that that's all they want to hear about? Yeah, it's a little uh tight.

[00:08:09]>> Let's get to our next letter. What do you got? Dear Ally, I just moved in with my girlfriend and she just started going back to church. That's fine for her, but she wants me to go with her and I'd rather stay home and play video games.

[00:08:21]>> She says that's immature, but I'm a grown ass man and I know this is going to become a fight. What advice do you have for me?

[00:08:27]>> You are a grown ass man.

[00:08:30]>> Playing video games on Sunday morning.

[00:08:34]>> Exactly. Well, if you don't want to go to church, >> we we just had a conversation, Ally, before you joined us. Uh, Miss Hooker said there's a video game. You pretend you're mowing the lawn.

[00:08:45]>> Yeah.

[00:08:46]>> Is there I And I There probably is. I'm just asking. Is there a semi-religious game?

[00:08:52]>> There are very religious games actually >> that biblical based games >> take you through stories in the Bible or something.

[00:08:59]>> Yes. Those have been around since I was young. Does it make like that sound do sound at the crucifixion?

[00:09:05]>> Oh god.

[00:09:06]>> I never got that far in the game.

[00:09:09]>> Oh my gosh.

[00:09:10]>> No, this guy uh >> wow.

[00:09:13]>> It sounds kind of frivolous to be if she's she's exploring her soul and this guy's playing Pac-Man. I don't know.

[00:09:21]Maybe they're not meant for each other.

[00:09:23]>> Like you don't you don't make somebody go to church. That never works.

[00:09:28]>> Yeah.

[00:09:28]>> Yeah. I mean, just continue to go to church and then someday he may wake up and go, "Yeah, I think I'll try that.

[00:09:33]I'll go with you." But >> yeah, but this is him writing us.

[00:09:36]>> Oh, that's >> so play video games. I just say, "Okay, go ahead."

[00:09:41]>> Yeah. I know a lot of friends who go to church by themselves and their husband doesn't go.

[00:09:46]>> Yeah.

[00:09:47]>> A lot. Yeah.

[00:09:49]>> Yeah. I think we're we need to get like a a quidd proquo here. Maybe in this case a quim proquo in which if he doesn't go to church he gets no action.

[00:10:00]>> Yeah, that's always a good idea.

[00:10:00]>> A little estrada action.

[00:10:02]>> That's probably what it'll come. I think that's what he's worried about probably is some ending like that.

[00:10:07]>> Sex as a weapon. What is wrong with you?

[00:10:10]>> Nothing. I'm just saying it might work.

[00:10:12]>> Why don't you just go You could go to church and just take a game boy.

[00:10:18]>> Honestly, >> another problem. Another problem solved.

[00:10:23]Can you put Can you put those on mute?

[00:10:25]>> Can you imagine if it you see the preacher and then it cuts to the the everybody sitting there and one guy just has those VR guys >> like punching in the air? Yeah.

[00:10:37]>> Yeah. Do you ever on Sundays you're you walk by the TV and there's some service on and uh there's one guy that looks like he just came from the wait room.

[00:10:46]You ever seen this guy?

[00:10:47]>> He wears clothes a little too small.

[00:10:49]Looks very hip. has the has the Madonna headset on and he's walking around flailing flailing his arms. That guy >> the body of the temple.

[00:10:57]>> Uh yeah, but uh there's all kinds of different services out there. I wonder if there is one where the guy's got a controller and there's a screen behind him and he's doing the video game for the congregation.

[00:11:09]>> I don't know, but I have I heard one of the most unbelievable stories this week.

[00:11:14]They broke a horse at church the other day. A wild horse.

[00:11:19]>> Oh my god.

[00:11:21]pastor.

[00:11:21]>> Oh, that's a that's the cowboy. That's real common. The c There's hundreds of cowboy churches.

[00:11:26]>> This isn't a cowboy church. It's right by my house. It's like >> Oh, there there No, seriously. There are cowboy churches all over the country and they do they do they're sort of traditional Christian churches for the most part. Yeah.

[00:11:36]>> And they and they do uh >> uh >> You've heard of this?

[00:11:40]>> Yeah.

[00:11:40]>> They're called cowboy churches.

[00:11:42]Seriously, this is not >> There are hundreds of them.

[00:11:43]>> Okay. But this is a traditional Christian church that had >> maybe they guest.

[00:11:49]>> Yeah. There you go. It's Yeah. Did the house or the horse?

[00:11:53]>> Boy, that's got to be That's not easy.

[00:11:55]Inside the church.

[00:11:56]>> Yes.

[00:11:57]>> I mean, inside the church.

[00:11:58]>> Wait, what?

[00:11:59]>> Their point must have been that it was >> the horse was inside the church.

[00:12:02]>> Somewhat miraculous because >> they did it inside.

[00:12:04]>> Wow.

[00:12:05]>> It takes months to break a horse. I thought, I would think.

[00:12:08]>> Not if this this is the same guy that got the guy in the wheelchair to tap dance.

[00:12:13]>> Well, you sure hope that those that kind of stuff isn't going on anymore. But yeah.

[00:12:16]>> No, though. The the cowboy churches are a real thing, >> right? But I mean the scams.

[00:12:20]>> Well, I Okay, I could see that in Montana or something, but I don't know.

[00:12:24]>> They're all over the place.

[00:12:25]>> I just was I had never heard of that before. I was shocked.

[00:12:27]>> No, I haven't either. And I've ridden my whole life. That's >> Yeah, you're a horse person. Yeah, exactly.

[00:12:32]>> You don't go to a pasture to break your horse. That's insane. Yeah, >> you go to a pasture, not a pastor.

[00:12:40]>> Hello.

[00:12:40]>> Very good, Tom. They miss red.

[00:12:42]>> These write themselves. Let's try to get a good one next time, Tom.

[00:12:46]>> No, that was good. Great. We're speaking to Alli Breen, comedian. Are you working in New York this weekend?

[00:12:51]>> Uh, yes. I'll be at the Top Secret in New York on Friday this weekend.

[00:12:56]>> That's the club you play in London, right?

[00:12:58]>> Yeah, exactly.

[00:12:59]>> Is your boyfriend gonna be there? Is he flying in for the occasion?

[00:13:02]>> No, he is not. We have a little gap now.

[00:13:05]I won't see him till towards the end of the month.

[00:13:06]>> What's his name again?

[00:13:08]>> Cyrus.

[00:13:09]>> Cyrus. Thank you. Is um uh is he aware of this program that you do?

[00:13:16]>> He is. Yep. Yes. I don't know if he watches it regularly, but he has seen it.

[00:13:22]>> I see. Oh, that's nice. Good to know.

[00:13:24]Good to know.

[00:13:25]>> Um, uh, now our relationship.

[00:13:28]>> I'm not going to ruin. I'm just kind of wondering if he's written a letter to us.

[00:13:31]>> Oh.

[00:13:34]>> Oh, there we go. Don't give any ideas.

[00:13:37]>> We have time for one more letter. Ally Breen, what have you got? Dear Ally, I was cleaning out my boyfriend's car and I found a receipt for jewelry, earrings, and a necklace that I never received. My birthday already passed. No holiday is coming up. Do I wait to bring it up or do I bring it up right now? This is going to drive me crazy.

[00:13:54]>> The best way to set a car on fire >> is to take a gallon of gas and >> maybe it was for his mom.

[00:14:02]>> No way.

[00:14:04]>> Yeah, Mother's Day just how that could be.

[00:14:06]>> Yeah, >> I think you can ask. I think you just go, "Hey, by the way, this has just been bothering me. I'm not accusing you of anything, but I would like to know. I found these this jewelry receipt."

[00:14:16]>> Just see what he says.

[00:14:17]>> Yeah.

[00:14:17]>> It's for a It's for a pierce from space.

[00:14:21]>> If he goes, >> "Does your mom pierce any body parts below the waist?"

[00:14:26]>> And if he goes, "What?"

[00:14:27]>> Oh, no. I bought my mother something.

[00:14:29]Well, it says here it's a >> CR says nipple rings.

[00:14:33]>> Oh, better just better joke.

[00:14:39]See, >> if uh >> Pat has a comment.

[00:14:42]>> Yes. Yes, ma'am.

[00:14:43]>> Well, if she asks, "What's what's the receipt for it?" He goes, "Hum."

[00:14:48]>> Yes.

[00:14:48]>> Exactly.

[00:14:49]>> Kind of a giveaway.

[00:14:51]>> Her reaction is everything.

[00:14:52]>> Well, thank you, Ally. You look You look You look great, Ally. You've got the healthy glow now that you've got your new boyfriend. You look terrific.

[00:14:58]>> A Thank you so much.

[00:15:00]>> You look well shagged. Look so happy.

[00:15:05]Does that shirt say something? Are we just seeing the top of the letters?

[00:15:08]>> Oh, yeah. It just says pink. It's like an old Victorian. It looks dirty.

[00:15:12]>> Yeah.

[00:15:14]>> Four letter word. I was thinking something else.

[00:15:16]>> Oh, I thought you mentioned like not letters.

[00:15:21]>> Ally does not do chores. We know that.

[00:15:23]>> Hey Ally, we'll see you. Thank you.

[00:15:25]>> Bye all.

[00:15:26]>> Bye guys. Okay.