This video discusses how society often criticizes and 'polices' how widows grieve, particularly when they are public figures, and argues that such criticism is hypocritical and harmful. The hosts compare the public reactions to Samantha Bush (Kyle Bush's widow) and Erica Kirk (Charlie Kirk's widow), noting that both women faced scrutiny for their grief expressions despite having different circumstancesβone died from a sudden medical emergency while the other was assassinated. The hosts argue that people should give widows the benefit of the doubt and not compare their grief, as each person processes loss differently and no one knows how they would respond if placed in a similar situation.
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Samantha Busch Compared to Erika Kirk After Husbands Tragic DeathAdded:
Yeah. So, if you guys recall, I believe it was last Friday, Kyle Bush, who was a NASCAR racer, tragically died after a bout of pneumonia, which developed into sepsis, as we learned over the weekend.
And this start, this happened right before the Coca-Cola 600, which is a big event in NASCAR. I don't know NASCAR all that well, but I knew who Kyle Bush was, and I know enough of like the big names to know what this was. And yes, it was very unexpected. did it happened very fast. So they were going to honor him.
Now mind you this had to be done very fast. Uh he died Friday and this event was Saturday and Sunday if I remember correctly. So when he died they revealed they said in a statement that basically you know sepsis led to organ failure and by the time that they got him to the hospital it was already too late. He was part of let's see Bush's parents Tom and Gay.
Did they mean Gail or is her name actually gay? Bush stood alongside his brother Kurt who was a retired uh NASCAR Cup Series champion. Uh they were included in they had raced together in 2010 I believe. So they're saying no one feels full fully prepared to speak at a moment like this. So they did a moment of silence. They laid eight roses down on the grass there and talked, you know, to Samantha. So both Samantha and his two children, a a boy and a girl, I believe his son is 11, his daughter is younger, were also present at this. And there have now been videos going around.
And the reason we're talking about this is the reaction to Samantha Bush's >> moment of silence, like standing there.
I don't even know what to call it because it wasn't like an appearance really. Um I think she was already planning on being there. But you can see here we have it from Christy and this is where you'll understand where we're going here. Christy says, "America, this is what a real grieving widow looks like." Rest in peace Kyle Bush.
>> They're politicizing it and they're making it about Charlie Kirk and Erica Kirk.
>> That is correct. So, as you got it's it's disgusting. First of all, first and foremost to make this about this is what a real grieving widow looks like. her husband, you know, lack of a better term, isn't even cold yet, right? And you're making this a political statement >> and you can go to the comments and I think our comments might be different, but I'm going to read one from someone that I follow. She's a great account for Nolles, uh, Britta, if you guys know who that is. She said, "If it was Erica, they'd say she was faking and pointing out the lack of actual tears. There's no winning with these people. They have hate in their hearts and are filled with pride. Stop it." So, you can see she's kind of crying, but like she leans into her son a little bit and people are saying that, you know, were there real tears. I think this policing of of widows in general is awful. Regardless of what you think of them as a person and she was going through, this Christy person was now going through and responding to comments, which was throwing fuel to the fire. Someone said, "Using one's private pain to shame another widow isn't the flex you think it is." She said, "Why? Why is Erica's used as that then? I don't even Oh, why is Erica's used as that then? Are you standing behind your full statement going through and I just People are saying shameful post. We all know what you meant. She said for good reason because it's the truth. Thanks.
We've talked a lot about the lack of I'm trying to think about the right way. The um desensitization of people and of widows. And you don't have to like Erica Kirk. You can have whatever theories you want. I personally don't actually care.
But when you make this into a whole thing about somebody's widow and to say, you know, she's going through this and your first your first thought your very first thought is, well, Erica didn't grieve like that. What? Why do you care so much? Is my question. You can't just let this woman have her moment. I found this one too, which I thought had more replies on it, but I guess it doesn't from J Street, but she said what a real grieving widow looks like. That was more just to outline this isn't the only person saying it here. There are other people saying it. I was going through replies and quotes and found a couple that were saying that >> there's uh some quotes here that say, "Wait a second, where are all her fireworks?"
>> Yeah. And that now mind you, and I'll defend this. I know people had a lot of to say about it.
My opinion is that that was their way, whether it have been good or bad or bad for PR, that was their way of honoring what Charlie liked doing at events.
Also, that wasn't a funeral. A lot of people mistake it. It was a memorial, a celebration of life. And a celebration of life doesn't have to be sad. You can celebrate the life that person led. And in Christian faith, that is a very um it's kind of like a a pillar of how to celebrate someone's life. It doesn't always have to be sad. No, you can tell.
That's why when you know, for example, Brett, you know this, at my Nana celebration of life, I went up and I told a kind of a funny story, but then I also told some stuff like, you know, I miss you and all that. So to say that, you know, oh, it's for good reason that I'm posting this. Oh, this is what it really looks like. Just, you know, by the way, this woman's from Canada. I have no problem with Canadians, but don't sit here and tell us this is what a real grieving widow looks like, America. Like that's just one of those things where say what you will.
I think that it's really it's AAM's razor. It's as simple as these are two different people grieving two different deaths. These are two different women who had two different public profiles going into becoming a um a widow, whatever. Sorry, I like lost the word there for a second.
>> And this was probably an event they already planned on going to. This was an event they had to put together. So you go and you do the moment of silence and she didn't have to, but she chose to go much like Erica chose to make a statement a few days following her husband's death. The deaths are extremely different. So both deaths, one is a an assassination of a public figure. Another was a very tragic >> disease um a very sudden and onset tragic disease that then you know he passed away. So >> they're just they're two different things. And who's to say that Charlie didn't want to have the, you know, if he did like a public thing, have all the pyrochnics and everything. What do you think of this? And we've seen it more and more, especially when it comes to Charlie or Erica Kirk. Have you What What's your opinion on kind of the desensitization? Where do you think it comes from? Where do you think >> I It's cuz everybody's uh everybody lives their life in this internet vacuum now where everybody's a public figure and everybody is um kind of at the mercy of other people's opinions. And I don't have it in me to think about or judge the grief of anybody who's lost someone and have to sit there and have some type of analytical debate about what is or is not the right way for a person to behave after they lose a loved one. The worst that can happen to me in that situation is somebody ends up being evil. And I guess I gave the benefit of the doubt to somebody who ended up being evil if it came out later that that was in fact what it was. I think it's safer for yourself and it's better as far as putting some weight on your heart to give the benefit of the doubt to somebody who's lost someone um and not give way to a world where you're suspicious of that constantly. Now, that is not to say it's the idea of being naive. I understand that evil people exist and evil people can exploit grief.
Is that the situ? Is is that the case in this situation? No idea. I don't care.
It's not It's just not a discussion that I'm willing to have because I have my own life and I have things in my life that I need to do and I need to focus on. And I'd argue that most people would probably benefit more from avoiding going into that debate.
>> I do think too that trying to cast aspersions or anything on someone again, two different scenarios. So I think there's no way there's only one similarity between these two women that I can see >> and it is they are both widows very suddenly. That's it. That's the only similarity I see. And they've got young kids. Maybe that's another one. But Erica has babies and then they have they have kids. If tomorrow it was revealed that both of these women were like evil and were like wishing this >> I would I would much rather give a widow the benefit of the doubt than to believe in my heart that everyone is so evil.
>> It does not hurt me one bit to give the benefit of the doubt to somebody. And if I'm proven wrong, so be it.
>> Right. I would rather know that I thought the right way about people I guess or try to not the right way but like the positive give the bit like like if if if okay so nobody is saying that you need to live a life of naive that you need to give everybody the benefit all the time and that you should be happiness gumdrops and roses and in rainbows all the time that's not the world we live in absolutely not but there are probably places in which you can give a little bit of exception. And in this case, if it means that I retain a little bit more of my own soul and my own optimism for the future, then I'll give the benefit of the doubt and move on with my life and hope that they find peace. And if they're evil, hope that justice is done.
>> I'd also never know how to publicly grieve. So if if something, God forbid, something were to happen to you and someone put me a camera in my face and wanted me to grieve publicly, I don't know how I would do that. I genuinely don't know how they would respond to that. No one knows how they would respond to that.
>> They say that this was like uh like walking pneumonia, which is something people were asking me if I had like a a month ago or like a couple weeks ago because of my cough.
>> Well, you went to the doctor and so I don't know if he had or what was going on there. I know a lot of people are going to say it's a very feminine thing for me to do and I'm being naive and I'm just not looking at it the right way.
Look, think what you want, but I choose to believe that going after a widow, one, it's not biblical. The Bible literally tells us to protect widows.
And two, we have no idea what their day-to-day life was like. It's just not fair to sit here months going on months now having the internet absolutely rally. Then something happens to someone else. Something very tragic and suddenly suddenly Erica is now this horrible person. No one said anything when Charlie was still alive. But now now Erica is a bad person after Charlie's gone. So, it's like you're going to sit here and again, it's more of the fact that they're trying to compare these two women when maybe Erica could be a shoulder to cry on. Hey, I lost my my um husband, you know, very suddenly as well. Maybe these women don't like crying in public. Maybe they just don't like shedding tears in public, no matter how emotional they are. Everyone's different. I am going to push back a little bit on part of it which is that um my thoughts on whether to give the benefit of the doubt aren't connected to what I feel like about satire that has surrounded this which is that as um both of these women are public figures to varying degrees. Erica Kirk um >> wasn't as much before, >> wasn't as much, but is more so now in the head of a of a major organization that I don't think that you get to complain about the satire that's made because that is a side effect of being in the public eye and running a a very very popular.
>> Some of it's just not funny is the problem.
>> I mean, but that's a subjective. We could not think it's funny.
>> I don't think that the meme of the water fountain with Charlie's neck is funny at all. I don't think anyone would find that funny. Okay, see that's what like my brain went to. Someone made a meme where they're like, "Build this statue and it's a fountain and the water's spewing out of Charlie's."
>> Dark humor that's unc large swath of the population is always going to exist.
>> But that's a whole another Okay, I get what you're saying, but they're not comparing them in a humorous way. No one is making me >> No, I'm I'm just kind of expand I'm I'm expanding the conversation because it's my thoughts on this are more uh complicated than just right or wrong.
>> I get it. I get it entirely and it's up.
But I do think too like for me when my mom died it became more about like yeah I might make jokes about it but if someone else did it's kind of like when someone picks on your sibling and you're like only I can do that. That might be how it feels sometimes for people. Now that doesn't mean it's okay or right but that is the human you know experience is to be like maybe I can when on my terms when I'm ready and they're not coming from a place of malice. the jokes are coming from a place of coping and love as opposed to it coming from a place of malice and hatred. So, I think that's a big distinction to make there as well.
But to compare these two women and not let them grieve in their own ways, I just I don't understand.
I just I don't it it boggles my mind that people can attack these these two women so vehemently and think they know everything about their lives and then to publicly compare them. Well, this woman just lost her husband and is now taking on being a single mother and the most dangerous. She probably thought if anything her husband might die on the track in a tragic accident, not that he would just fall dead one day basically.
>> I don't think that was any I think she just thought, "Oh, he's sick but he's going to work." That was the last thing in her mind. Now, sepsis can be very rare, especially when walking pneumonia gets that. I mean, he's being a professional athlete, like he was seeing doctors regularly.
>> Oh, I'm sure. And again, that's why this is so much more unexpected. I don't think it had anything. I think that this, you know, and and Charlie's was very tragic, though. They knew there was always that threat, right?
>> But I think for her, she never would have thought >> that, you know, he would die. If anything, he does a wrong turn and maybe that's the most danger he puts himself in, right? Being on track.
>> That's a very dangerous job.
>> I know, but I'm saying that she would expect that to happen, >> not for him to be going into a meeting and fall dead and now there's a 911 call that's out. Now, this is getting more and more public. So, I just think it is very uh disingenuous to try to compare these women. It's very wrong, but it is the >> it's very indicative of like the the type of brain a person has. Like if you go there immediately like it's obviously something you focused heavily on >> and are it's probably like hurting your quality of life to focus on it that heavily to the point where you need to make that point.
>> Thanks for watching. Listen to full episodes of Pop Culture Crisis on Spotify.
>> Keep up with us on social media and make sure you subscribe and ring that bell so you never miss the show. Bye guys.
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